S4 - Ep. 34 - Mike Mitchell

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gaye ad. We want to send you off in style.

We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about every scared her? Was it fine? Mal porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgareff.

Oh.

I believe before we started you and I both admitted that we forgot to eat today.

Yes, did you touch your oatmeal?

I did.

I actually tried to, very calmly and not in a panic eat it while I was putting on the gup to get ready to do this with us with this group.

Yes, you had oatmeal sitting there waiting since nine since I am I yeah, I just made no attempt, and then I purchased a salad and didn't have time to eat it, so I just smelled it and profound.

I'm here the thing and I feel like We've discussed this before. But the thing about it is that there's extra for me.

For my part.

I'll and I'll ask you about your part after. Okay, there's extra shame because you never don't have to do this. It's three times a day, all day, every day since I was eighteen years old and living on my own, and yet it's always a surprise. It's always a problem. And when I don't do it, my brain goes crazy.

Yep, so stressed. I get so stressed.

Yep.

I get real like everything's a problem and needs to be solved right now, and I don't recognize it.

Every time.

Yeah, and every time I eat, I'm like this again. Yes, the same thing as when I shower. How often do I have to wash my body? Pretty much every day.

Because every day is usually the rule.

Yeah, but I really enjoy the shower to the point where I'm all I mean, you know, I'm always late for everything, as you both well know. And part of that reason is because like I will get into a shower and then just really love it and knock it out for way too long and just be like conditioning.

My hair and just going for it in shower.

And oddly that's how I am with eating too.

I highly enjoy enjoy both those things, eating and showering. Yet i'd put them off or delay them, or you cannot with them. I don't understand, right, I don't either the same and like.

And part of the not understanding, I think is connected to me not doing it well and then always having like a brain that's about to go on the fritz.

Is what it feels like.

Do you feel like you don't shower well? Is that what you're saying? I don't.

If I don't eat, I can't shower my best, right, I think I always excel at showering because that's me time. Yeah, and it's and also I love being warmer than I am one.

Especially when it's cold outside. Yep, it's the best. And I love doing both at the same time. That's why I got in my shower. I have a sandwich caddy.

I'm just a little holster for your all your pre planned meals. But since it's in the shower, you forget to fill it.

I very often have eaten in the shower. If you're on the go and you have to do both, just kind of hold my little breakfast burrito outside the curtain.

Okay, soap in one hand.

Never the Twain shell meet.

No, no, you know I'm bad at multitasking. Just start rubbing a burrito under my arm pits. Oh, shoot up, we were there. I think the dial sorry, but I think it takes surface streets.

It's okay, yeah, because do you it's not.

It's my least favorite stretch of highway, the one going past the Hollywood Bowl.

Oh my god.

If you don't get all the way to the left, you are screwed. If you stay in the three right lanes. This is the content people come here for.

It is, by the way, I've been told they like play by plays of specific Los Angelesa Road.

Okay, right now, guys, we're on Ventura Boulevard. You've heard Tom Petty talk about it. Now we're talking about it.

Yeah.

But right now in the sky there is a HP helicopter going in circles over this one stretch of highway of the one on one south that is always a problem and that we were just complaining about. So you know, if there is, I can't see it now, but he was going around and around.

There's probably an accident. So then you have to be able to read the signals. Sorry, my sister's calling me.

Quite all right, maybe she knows about the accident. Oh, I just want you to know.

There's a helicopter we're going to go live to Cares right now up at her house. She's gonna tell oh, wait, did you see the uh the road washed out up on Mulholland.

I did see that.

That's crazy And it was intense, like it was a bridge of the dirt and mud and everything I'd washed from under the road.

Yes, and created a bridge at the thinnest asphalt bridge that no one can transverse.

And it's all I worry about when I drive up that road or through that canyon is all these houses are going to slide one day.

Yep. And it's very true. I'm not just being paranoid.

No, that day was Tuesday apparently, But I wonder when it happened, because I, yeah, I need to know the news, and I refuse to watch it, right, I just want to know.

I prefer to get it from passing by strangers on the street.

Yeah, I like it gossip style overhearing stuff.

Yesterday, there was a man at the bottom of my street in a wheelchair that only had one.

Wheel and he said Can I have a dollar?

And I said sure, and I happened to have one perfect dollar in my pocket and gave it to him.

Then I went to go get my food.

I remembered eat yesterday and came back and I saw him again, and it's that thing where he didn't recognize me from the first the giving him a dollar.

So then he said again, hey, can I have a dollar? And am I? I remember earlier I gave you that one.

I just have one, and they said, pushed me across the street and it was it was there. Not only was there not a big wheel in back, it was missing one big wheel, it was missing one of the wheels in front. So he's teetering on one front right and one rear left, oh, and scraping. And I but I pushed him across the street and the handle of the wheelchair had I don't know what it had on it, but I'm still it was the grossest skins. It looked like it was from Ghostbusters. No, I'm sorry, are you though?

Because you are the true victim here.

Yeah, I truly am.

And I but when I said, oh, there's something on the handle here, And I kind of left him at the corner and he laughed.

I think he pranked me. Oh no, he chuckled. He knew that there was something on the handle.

Oh that's kind of funny.

Yeah, you know.

Later on, I was like, good for him, because there's not a lot of opportunity for fun in his situation.

And he he got me.

I mean, Jesus Christ, he got me.

That. I love a good prank. But if I see him again, I've learned my lesson.

It reminds me of the time that I got my first writing job, so I was able to deposit a check in that Bank of America on Sunset or Hollywood and vine you're that first writing check.

Yes, Oh that's a good feeling.

It was the greatest feeling.

And I was in such debt just before that that I was doing things like writing myself a check for two dollars because I only had eighteen dollars in the bank so I could get a twenty out, but I didn't have that two dollars like that, and my mother had to explain to me that's illegal, You're.

Not allowed to do that, because I just was like, well, I got to get money somehow, and she's like, that's actually that might be a federal offense.

But yeah, but it's a two dollars day Argani.

I mean I did. I kept it low.

I wasn't trying to get eight hundred dollars out, but still it was definitely dishonest. But anyway, so it was a real change when I got this paycheck and deposited it and took out one hundred five twenties for myself to do with what I pleased. And I looked over and there was a very downtrodden looking team like teenager early twenties kid, leaning against the building, kne's up, kind of like you know, all is lost, and it was

I know, I know I am disappointed, but what do I need to thank you?

Well?

And also if that's what that's on me, right then then I'm not actually giving it a real the Christian way that I'm supposed to do right.

Exactly Judeo Christian.

Yes, yes, the specific church.

He is still attend the Lutheran way that I was to.

Yes, yes, I go by the Methodist method, which is I'll give you something, but you need to say blast you.

Sir, you have to say it back to me, gazoon hyd Yes.

Please not when I'm sneezing, though, Please. Now, I sneeze in groups of twelve. I do not need you to remind me. When each one has concluded, there will be another hold for the last.

One, hold applause until the last seze is finished.

You gotta hear my closer.

You know what's funny is I don't normally I think I sneeze in groups of three. But if it is ever more than that, part of what I'm doing in my sneezing show, because of course it always turns into like multiple turns into the sneezing show where everyone stops talking. In right, You're just the focus of everything is you sneeze, and I'm part of my show is that I'm also I am trying to act surprise as well.

In between the sneezes, like what I who know what's going on? Stea too whatever? Where it's like, it's fine, there's no one way to sneeze.

Right, I will show you all the ways to sneeze in the next fifteen minutes. Yeah, I'm I will always be a sneeze And once I left that beach area, it really I cut down on my sneezing for real.

Yeah.

I do believe my whole apartment and closet was riddled with a toxic mold.

Yeah that would make sense.

Yeah, help by the ocean.

That ocean is dangerous. Not only is there sharks, your closet's gonna have mold.

There's a lot of minuses.

I love being in the dry ass flats. Now, no mold in my life. Well, look at this man's hat.

Oh that's great.

Yeah, he's a he's got a fancy red hat.

He's got a red derby, I would say, with a feather on the side.

There's a chance. And I'm not sure that that was Angelo Moore from Fishbone.

No, Well, I saw him the other day.

I was skating at Costco and there was a what did his license plate say? He just had like a a dodge maag them.

Yeah, with some dents in it. The license plate said.

Boogie Funk or something, and he's like boogie Funk and then uh, he got out of the car, and I'm like, hey, I know, I'm a big fan of what you do. I'm a big fan of what you do. N is what came out of my mouth. But he seemed to appreciate it.

I bet he did.

Yeah, he actually looks that wasn't him.

Oh okay, but he was wearing a similar hat, just a feathered kind of a fedora or a derby.

I have to tell you that Fishbone was a big deal when I was a teenager. And it's funny because I know that I'm thinking about it. It's skate the skate boys that like knew about that band and talked about that band. That exposed me to that band, and I'm like, oh, this makes sense, sir. That Oh my god, that was a huge Winnebago.

Yeah, that was a classic one.

It was CB Health with a bigo.

Almost coming over into my lane. Anyway, That band was a very big deal when I was like sixteen, and people talked about it and I knew the songs and listened to it and it was like, I felt like, this is my inn for cool people.

Yeah, they were just the best I had.

One time my car got broken into and my stereo was ripped out of it. And the only reason I was really disappointed because I sat in glass and there was glass that was embedded in my bot. Every time I finally laid down a piece of cardboard, I tend to procrastinate glass. No, certainly not.

I had I had class every day.

But I uh, they stole my Truth and Soul tape, like that was a very important tape.

I still think about it all the time. Yeah, how I want. I wanted that tape back.

I never replaced it, but I like to think whoever stole the stereo they listened to it and then they're like, I like this music.

They were like, this guy's got a point. Yeah, this is funking. What was it?

It's kind of god, it's kind of uh boogie funk, and it's a little bit of sky and a little bit of punk and a little bit of funk.

I mean, yeah, that guy was an amazing front man.

He used to come to Missoula a lot. The town one of the three towns I used to live in, and he'd get carried around the audience while playing horns, and he had a bong on stage and he had just handed it. It was daytime, an outdoor concert. He was just handing around a bong. Yes, and people were smoking. And this was in the late nineties, this.

Is when it was highly illegal.

Yes, And I just I'm like, he was just a happy sweet.

Man, yep, so doing it.

Yep.

I didn't have time to remind him of that. And I saw him in the parking lot. You handed me a bong once while playing trombone.

Do you remember the time? Do you remember shaky voice?

Yeah?

I did. I get very nervous. I get very starstruck by childhood music. Heros my god.

Of course.

One time the lead singer from Go West. Do you remember the band Go West? Very early eighties?

Yeah?

They really.

What's one of their songs?

Oh, dunt dun dun dum gotcha.

Right?

No, no, sorry, that's a different band. Wait.

Well, I got scared. I was like, wait, we don't have clearance right exactly.

Jim's like, God, damn it, I told you people, But they were like, it was radio pop from nineteen eighty six. I would say, but that's a guess right, But he the lead singer, started following me on Twitter, and I was so like, how did this happen? Like I want to know this story behind this? Yeah, because oh my god, that's a full circle moment. I mean that's just the weirdest.

Well, you were a superstar on Twitter.

Thanks, but I don't think so.

It was it used to be.

God, I miss it.

I mean that's how I wrote my comedy. I miss it very much.

I miss it very much.

There was a separate app. It wasn't even called Why am I forgetting what fave star was?

Oh?

Yeah, yeah, website Really apps used to be these larger things called websites, and phones used to be you'd sit down and they'd be at a table anyway, and you couldn't call anyone on it.

Yeah.

It was called a computator, and they would prioritize all of your heat. This is your most popular tweets, So that's oh my top ten? Those are my next jokes.

You'll just be there.

Yeah, and now I have to use my memory.

Come on, come on, And also you don't have I think I've told this story.

But I started on Twitter because my friend was like, come on, what you're posting on Facebook, you should be posting on Twitter. Like it's it's you're you're doing on Facebook, what you should.

Be doing on Twitter.

I was like, oh, okay, uh so I started doing it and then I just saw my friends have like five to ten thousand followers and I had like five hundred, and I was like, what the fuck?

So that was kind of I was like, this isn't worth it or whatever.

And then I would try to write things and I'm like, this feels it feels so performative that like what this feels shameful and weird, and so then I was like I went through this whole psychological problem and then I quit, you know, to myself.

And then fucking a that he's a slender boy.

Fucking bad crane just rode by on a bike.

Yeah I don't know how he rides with that sickle.

That was too close?

You can, yeah, you're well, yeah, yeah, gotta share the road with bikes.

Please share the road. They're here to stay and they're so thin and they're in your fucking face.

It wants you to turn left up here, but I don't care.

I damn it. I'll do it at a different spot.

Yes, yes, I'm not looking at them up at all because I'm telling the most fascinating story.

What was it again?

Before we got interrupted by death on a bike by?

But he was coming by to say one of you three is about to go, And now he's disappearing, and now he literally is gone, Like where did he fucking go?

Well, just to touch a sick person who's on their last legs, it's safe to cross.

Now what if he is the specter of death only for guys that dress up and bike paraphernalia and ride ten speeds. Yeah, yeah, he's just going around waiting for the other guy.

Yeah, death will be dressed appropriately when you die during inactivity.

Wait what was I trying to tell you? Thank you?

Thank you?

Because the end of that anecdote is that I was on the same I was on a show with Kyle Kanane.

God damn it.

I'm I follow him on TikTok and I get to watch clips of his comedy. It's so frustrating to me that Kyle Kanane is not where everybody else is because he's so goddamn funny.

But yeah, yeah, but point is really quick. I'll finish it. I told him.

I was like, yeah, I'm telling him all these problems I have with Twitter, and then he looks at me and goes, I just use it to write jokes. And then I was like, thank you, that's exactly what I needed to hear. Yeah, and that's what I did. I went back as like, I'm not trying to get people or things or fades or any.

Of that shit. I'm just using mister ride jokes for myself.

And a lot of people always were concerned that you were putting it out there and wasting it, but I always felt like you are basically copywriting it.

Yeah, yeah, completely.

So I was always a little worried, like if anyone in this audience falls me on Twitter, which never was the case, they've maybe read some of these jokes before, and that'd be embarrassing. I always create this problem that doesn't exist. Yes, all my Twitter friend friends and fans.

You're scanning the audience and there's one guy with his arms crosshir like, there he is. I knew he'd be here.

I knew it.

He's dressed exactly like in his whatever those are called tiny pictures.

Now, that was a cool guy on a bike that just passed us. Did you see that guy?

Yeah, he wasn't here to he was here to start a life.

He was.

He was getting his life because he actually, you all fool guyet clothes on and then he was smoking either a cigarette or a cigar.

Did you see that? What like a susher suite?

Oh so he wasn't like exercise biking.

I think he was like, I got to get from A to B and this is how I'm gonna do it, and I'm going to live my life as I do it.

Yeah, it's a good time to enjoy a cigar. I always found on a treadmill or that was my favorite Todd glass. I don't even know if it was a joke. He would just describe it someone standing on a treadmill and roller blades smoking.

It's just a it's a great visual.

But also what like that he saw that at the gym?

Yeah, oh no, I think I've always wanted to do this.

I've always wanted to do wear roller blades on a treadmill and chain smoke.

And I'm like, that's a finished joke to me. As far as I'm concerned, it works.

It's the whole picture.

Yeah, you're right about Kyle Kanane though. It is the I rarely get to see him, but I do watch. I keep up with him online and watch his videos, and he does not ever stop coming up with new material.

It's unbelievable. And the.

The direct it's he's like a wordsmith to a degree that because not dog like this, it's like unappreciated, but he's actually kind of a poet and very I just it's just such an impressive observational like or anecdotal. He's like he's got stories like that time he went to the shooting range. Like he's just got stories, bits, jokes. It's all kind of mathematically perfectly mapped.

Yep.

And then when he records it, he gets rid of it and starts over again, Whereas I'm.

Like, I'm gonna keep tweaking this joke for twenty years. Let me allow it to evolve.

Let's hold on to this one a little while longer.

Yeah, I'm going to put it on both my albums just because they changed so much, and I'm not going to change the title.

Oh okay, dog Party. These people that bring their dogs to the pet store, What a world they live in that they have such well behaved dogs.

It is kind of fun to be And I've gone into the pet store just to hang out with dogs before.

It's very cool, but like Frank, I could do it with Blossom. Frank's like, I will fight anybody in here, really good staff.

Oh yeah, oh yeah. That always makes me nervous. I'm not good at breaking up dog fights. I mean, who is I plug my ears and run away.

That's and let I just get scared.

It all sounds so much worse than it actually usually turns.

Out to be.

But I was also the day before yesterday there was a cat meowing, hiding behind a propane tank dispenser like it outside of Walgreens. But it looked exactly like my cat Sydney that we lost a feline aids exactly a black cat with little bald spots right in front of his ears. But he was just kind of hanging out and obviously couldn't move. Something bad, Chris, I can't tell you.

Yeah, these you around the town stories.

They're sad, they're getting Saturday. It's like they are getting Saturday.

If you're going to talk about like a cat that, I swear it has a happy end. Okay, okay, Well the other one didn't, right, No, it didn't.

That was a sad one and this one. I mean, I'm sure the cat is no longer with us, but so okay, I just felt, you know.

There's those people in hospice care that that that that make things pleasant for the last moments.

That's kind of what I did for this cat.

I petted him and he purred and we had a nice moment, and I kept talking to people because I didn't have my phone on me, and I got him picked up and I called the ASPCA, which is near the They said we don't do that. They're near Peta. And I'm like, oh, why don't you care about this cat? You just want to yell at people about chickens. And then they finally called someone and they came and we moved the cat into the car, and the kiddy was, I don't know, it felt good. I know it's not

At what point when the kid That's all I'm saying is for it as the secondhand, maybe you got something in the moment, right, No, that's not the experience.

On this end, right right, as far as hearing the story, Let's see how this ends. Maybe this will be a fun We're about to watch a street fight. Maybe this will have a fun silver lining.

Yeah, yeah, I get you know, I guess I gotta start telling happier.

Well, here's the thing.

It's just it's not just think of it in terms of of anecdotally, not your personal experience, because we can't access that, right. And the second you tell me there's a cat crying and it can't move partially right, I'm out.

Yes, I'm way the fuck out.

Do you think a lot of people quit listening in that moment.

I think that's when people dig in with you, because this audience has been taught all right, they know.

I just think the cat as they took him away, this nice couple, you're going, yeah, I'm going back in. Yeah, he almost said, I feel like he was saying thank you. But yeah, I don't know the cat's wink, but probably just because one of his eyes had given out, he was like, thank you, sir. I could see him. If he was wearing a little hat, he would have tipped it as if to say.

Thank you for spending that time with me. And it's good.

So I'm just saying, if you if you run into a situation like that. Don't don't run away like I have in the past.

You're talking to yourself now.

Yes, no others others are like but what if I'm in that situation, I'll tell you what to do.

Spend some time.

It will be unpleasant, but the cat will appreciate the thing. It all remembers how it appreciated you.

Isn't that nice? What a nice story projection? What a nice story it is? It is astral projections.

Taking the cat's experience and forcing it into being a nice.

Yes, it is nice. It's such a good story. It's not it ends happy where Oh now the very end.

Because it's over. Yeah, it's no longer being just.

A bad cat who's now Dad ended it with a smile on his little face, his whiskers.

Is it what I was?

Separate question when you leave your house or you're like I only looking for the bad here, yeah, and then going to that yeah and saving it for the podcast.

It's just I don't Maybe I gotta start drinking again. I mean those stories were better.

Don't threaten me, first of all, and don't threaten me with a good time.

That's what I was going to say.

Sorry, stuff on your door.

No, no, yeah, I uh, I just yeah, it's just, you know, not a lot of great stuff. It's happened in the last few days.

It's raining. Yeah, all these things happened in the rain.

I guess my thing is, then, let's guide ourselves somewhere.

Else, somewhere sunnier.

Some are some are with animals that don't suffer, right, right, especially cats?

Right? Yeah, God, I'm regretting regretting telling that story.

Good, good, well I've learned. We've all learned a valuable lesson today. No, when you start a story, and I can say this about a lot of people, that it has an ending, good ending, or just an ending.

Really, a lot of my stuff has no concluding. I wasn't there for it.

So the ending of my story is the cat drove off and I didn't exchange numbers with these peoples. Wait, that cat could drive, Yeah, it was amazing. It was this famous cat named tunses.

No tombs is somehow lost lost the use of his legs.

And I think it was When I said it got hit by a car, I do mean a trap the two car. It was a collision.

Here's the thing. You didn't say that before. So this story is getting worse.

Yeah, this cat had burns from the seat belt and powder from the airbag going on. No, and his little cat mobile, which was just a domed glass cat shaped car, was off to the side shattered.

Was the cat's car shaped like a cat? Or was the cat's car shaped like a fish?

Cat's car was shaped like a fishbowl, but with glass ears on it, and it was not It did not have current registration tabs.

So he got pulled over by a dog cop.

Yeah, yeah, it was.

It was a whole world.

We're fixing this as it's becoming an adorable story. It's pretty great and it's helping cover up what happened before. Yes, oh good dog.

Yep, I'm excited to pick up today's guest meets You. I'm not going to announce yet.

We don't know him personally, no, which is always a I think on this podcast. We've been very insular right.

In the past, Yes, because we're just like, we don't want to hang out with people that aren't our right, but then we know we can trust Patrick cuttmore, our booker.

Yes, because we have had some of the most delightful people that we didn't know on recently.

Right, and it kind of keeps you on your toes and makes you, you know, go to your basic ability to like meet a new person and talk, something they kind of lost the ability.

To do for a couple of years for sure.

And that's why I liked golf, you know, because you're forced to be around strangers. And I realized pretty much ninety percent of those interactions where it's just me and a friend, and then all of a sudden, you're with this elderly couple that you've never met before, and you have to kind of become friends with him because you're walking for a few hours, you have to make small talk.

It's been really good for me.

That's good.

Yeah, and the podcast kind of does that too, it does. We've been really lucky.

I think we're fun and we're fun to talk to. Uh, And so I don't worry about it as much as this fucking guy.

Uh.

Oh is it the same guy.

Yeah, there's a lot of people dying today. Yeah, he's rushing off, he's got somewhere to be.

No, the other guy didn't have Halloween orange shirt on.

No, No, this is this guy.

This is the guy that's going down.

Yeah, look at the calves on this guy He absolutely wasn't that last grim reaper?

This one works out, this one.

Every day is calf day for this guy.

Yeah, he doesn't skip a single day for any limbs?

Who's that?

Do?

They want to be on the podcast? Hi?

I like your purple pants and your flared pant.

I missed my sur I am like forgetting what my job is here.

We haven't eaten. It makes you light headed, It makes you not It makes you tell stories that are sad.

It makes you attack your friend who's trying to just tell a story.

If if only I had eaten same, it would have that cat would have lived.

Oh now I know where we are. There's a lake that is the that's that weird little reservoir. Yes, anybody, anyone's gonna whip around and come sort coming down the stream.

Yeah, what if we took out one of these grim reapers on wheels?

What if we killed death today?

Yeah, that would be the pet calling the kettle. You've found the right place. Get in here.

We're stranger, stranger.

You know our guests today from clubs and colleges of course, across the country.

Everyone put your ears together for Mike Mitchell. Mike, shall we call you Mike or shall we call you Mitch?

Either is fine? Honestly, I know that's I should have more of an opinion on my name.

But what's your comfort level with people you've never met before?

Yeah?

Very comfortable.

But I mean, but I'm good. But I mean, is Mitch like a nickname of your that your friends call you?

My friends do call me up and I also, I've been called Mitch by everyone my entire life. I'm just so paranoid. I hate a tuna subs. So if you smell like a tuna sub you do?

You do not smell like tuna? You smell uh great? Yeah, yeah it's I choot.

I chewed a bunch of gum before I got my car.

Yeah yeah, it's a minty. It's a minty smell combined with laundered clothes.

Let's not tell each other what we smell like as kind of a kickoff warm up.

You're not straight. I mean, I know both of you as as a fan of both of you, and someone is calling me as soon as I get.

In the car.

No, We've had it happen multiple times.

Take any and all calls that you need to know if it's important, that would be awesome. Someone just like, without say anything.

Immediately all straight to speaker.

And I Chris, I used to see you a lot at UCB.

Yeah.

Yeah, And I vividly remember the first time I saw you. I because there used to be more stand up shows at that Franklin you see. And so we finished a comedy death ray or something, and Harris Whittles was there and he was like, you got to see the Birthday Boys.

You were in the Birthday Boys. I was yeah, And it was a long time. I mean at this point it has to fifteen years, right.

Yeah, probably fifty. Yeah, I would guess around and.

It was one of the best sketch shows I've seen.

Oh my god.

Yeah, you guys really had it figured out, Harris.

I mean I was good buddies with Harris. He was a great guy.

Yeah, he was the best.

Yeah.

And that's him telling me that is why I stayed.

Oh man, he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a great guy.

I tell a story about him all the time where he when he got his job writing for Sarah Silverman show. Yeah, he called one weekend and said, hey, they're looking for a new writer. Do you have any samples? And I was like, I really don't. I don't have a lot of experience writing scripts, and I still don't.

Nor the software.

But he was like, that's okay. I have a bunch of SPECS scripts. I'll just give you one and you can say you wrote it. And I was like, oh, I don't know that that's.

The best idea.

And that's so funny.

Yeah, and it's just a testament how sweet.

So he thought you were very funny. That's what the what the I mean, it's very funny. He had a bunch of specs. I wonder which one he was going to give you.

An old Fraser.

I think he had a joke where he say, what's this show spec? Everyone's writing for the very inside. It's like my room tone joke. When a joke doesn't go well, I say, sorry, I just tell that one to get some room cone. There's only a handful of Oh there, here's some of my insider industry bits appreciated by nobody.

How did your Mike Mitchell, I'm going to call you both first and last year. Yeah, that's my solution. How did you get into that sketch group?

I went to Ithaca College and Upstate New York, home of the bombers and the gorges and the gorges. Yeah, there's a lot of gorges up there. They're very beautiful. In the.

Shirt that's the shirt recording at the is gorgeous.

You could have made millions of or hundreds of I don't know what the well, I don't know how many they sell per year, but Ithaca is gorgeous, is Yeah, it's the shirt that that people wear around.

Oh I got one, I got one? Well there, you know, I never got one.

I should go back just to get one. But they are the gorges are pretty and then in the winter time people jump into them and kill themselves basically, but that is also another side of Ithica. But I was there. I went to college here and it was a screenwriting a screenwriting major, which is they honestly, Chris, they just teach you how to like they teach you about Final Threat. It's basically, yes, there's nothing, really, you know, I feel

Do you remember your first improv class? I?

Oh, of course. How could I forget improv one on one with Will Berson. Will is a super talented guy, And I mean everyone is bad, you know, and improv is embarrassing, I guess in many ways. And now the theater shut down and it reopened, and I still try to do improv like you know, once a month at least.

Yeah, that's why.

So they still teach classes there, it's just not at the theater necessarily, like where they used to teach at the Sunset location. Now it'll be just what used to be a bar studio on Sunset or something, right, Yeah, I think that.

I think they're in like you know that place would on Sunset, right. I think they're like near or there as the new offices, but they Yeah, they that used to be Sunset is just is shut down completely. It felt like maybe it wasn't gonna last very long.

Yeah, something about that much real estate. Like it looked like a comedy high school.

Yeah.

Was there lockers for some reason? I'm imagining a hallway with lockers?

I does. I think there was. I think you're right. I think there were lockers on one floor. I think there were like maybe you know, maybe they were just for staff or whatever. But I do remember lockers. I remember the first time on in there. You know Ryan Perez, very funny guy.

Yeah, I know that name.

He was, like they call her the unsinkable ship. Was just comparing it to Titanic, which it eventually just was it closed, And uh it was kind of a mess.

But uh every set I remember doing there and it wasn't a ton but it was like I always ate it and to a degree that would kind of like shake me to my core and I'd be like, I don't think I've ever been able to do comedy, which is like kind of great in a way where like what it?

What am I? How am I lying to myself that this place is rocking me to my core every time? Is it? The distance?

It was the the distance. The distance is so bad.

It's bad.

It was like an auto shop, wasn't it. There was like there was there. It was not It was comedy poison in many ways. It was not conducive to comedy in any way. So if anyone ever bombed there, every I feel like everyone did, it's not your faults.

If you thank you, That's what I was looking for.

I do remember that you'd be on stage and it was like fifteen feet before the knees of the people sitting in the front row.

Yeah, there was like a full end zone at least for you.

Yeah, And it would make you try to riff jokes about how uncomfortable. It was, which you know a lot of those people went to a ton of shows there. Oh yeah, so they'd all heard it where it's like, yes, we get it, it's the Star Trek, Judgment Hall or whatever. Like I do stuff like that where I'm like, they're like, you're not even using the right terminology. We're not going to laugh at this, and then I would just dig myself into a gigantic hole.

I'm actually glad to hear you say that because I always chewed it there. But I love the sunset or that. Sorry, the Franklin location.

The Franklin location is great.

Also.

That was when Harris died. They did like a little thing from there, So I'm kind of happy that it's like a tomb now that I oh yeah, yeah, I don't have to go back in there for the remember that weird night where we you know, where everyone remembered them. But yeah, it just was.

It was horrible.

It was not conducive to comedy at all. You know, I haven't found a stage for me that's conducive to comedy.

It's yeah, the dimensions aren't right.

This is too old.

What's he's working with a guy he's going to create the best stage for me. You kill it every night.

Elevated to eleven feet.

That's got exactly a seven foot not eight. It's got to be low. I gotta be backed into a corner.

I was just on a meeting today when we were talking about stuff like this and like whatever, and then I remembered that, did you ever see the Andy Kaufman show where he is. It's a talk show and there's people sitting in regular like talk show chairs, the guests next to each other, but then he is on a he's a on a desk that's on a riser that's like twenty feet high, so he's looking down at them from a desk that's up on this thing, and it is the funniest, best.

Visual of all the all time.

I will the YouTube that because I know YouTube too.

It's good stuff. It's good stuff. Crazy.

I didn't I know a lot of I'm a wrestling fan, so I like looked into Kaufman's wrestling stuff. Oh yeah, I should know more about him as a commedie. I know a little bit about him. I know that you know Jim Carrey, a Man on the Moon version of him.

I guess right, I'm sure that's the part he would want you to know.

I admittedly that's the first thing I knew about him too, and it didn't totally speak to me, you know, that he was wanting to wrestle women.

I thought it was weird and it made me nervous.

It is, it is very it's very I mean, I think that he's great and he's you know, a legend and everything, but he did seem like almost what's the nicest way to put this, I can't like, he seems like annoying intentionally, like an annoying guy.

Yeah, he's like a confronting performance artist type of person.

Yeah, where you're like I would see.

Him on Letterman when I was little all the time and just be like, I just don't get this, and I'd just be like, adults get this, I don't get it.

Yeah. I think as a non confrontational person, maybe that always scared me or something a little bit right to do us.

But yeah, well it is like that's what everyone always says about wrestling, like that's always.

The boring, tired debate is what's real and what isn't?

Sure?

Yeah, uh, and he was playing with that, I think is why he was doing it. Because that the who's the guy that actually hurt his neck? That Chuck Lawler?

Was that its name?

Oh Jerry, Jerry Lawler.

Yeah, yeah, that seemed real. It seemed like he really didn't like him, and I didn't know if he was in on the joke or not, and he was.

It was great at being They call it kabe, I believe, is the word for where they like pretend that they, you know, like they're that's their acting basically like they and they never a lot of them never back in the day, never broke it. So like he would go out and people would ask him about Andy kopan bike, I hate him or you know, like stand all the time.

But I think his neck injury was indeed real.

Yeah yeah, And they use stuff like that too. I love it, and I actually kind of love that in a way that he did like he was such a villain and wanted to be a villain and that is very fun and to wrestle woman insane, it's.

So hilarious and crazy.

When I worked at Fuel TV with your dough Boys with companion, why I'm going to use the word partner in podcasting, who.

Was so Grady always wrote the best jokes he.

Was funny guy.

Yeah, strange, yes, but every time everyone would look forward to his jokes.

We had to write like daily.

Monologue monologue jokes, and sometimes he didn't want to deliver his and so I got to read his jokes and it gave me credit, even though I kept announcing like that's next, by the way, But they sent me that show, sent me to the practice space for the Luchavavum guys, and I thought it was a good idea to let them throw me around the ring of little.

Bit oh Man Dan Oh.

I should have had a neck brace after that, they I thought the mat. I thought it would be a mat, not a plywood floor that they were throwing me on. But they slapped me in the chest at left marks. For days, they clotheslined me. There was and I wasn't good enough to know how to fake it. I was actually feeling for the camera and I really was hurt, and I was like, okay, this, although theatrical is very real, when it comes to how much pain I was in.

Was that I did a thing. I know the wrestler John Morrison, who's he's great, and he he did a show in the valley and it was like it's gonna be like a kind of a royal rumble type thing, but also you can also win by eating buffalo chicken wings. And he's like, so I'm going to like have you come out, and then you're going to go over to the wings and like starting wings and he's like and eventually I'll super kick you, which is like kicking you

There is nothing.

So the word connect it's really important in describing the super kick because it sounds a lot like a regular kicked.

It sounds like a stronger kick.

It's almost like an atomic wedgie. You're underwear, well, indeed, go up there. They don't have time to cut it first. Did you have a whole outfit on too?

No?

I think I probably was wearing what I'm wearing right now, which is a dark style. Yeah, so I had emailed earlier about I was maybe gonna be late. I got I have a bald spot, and I went today and I got treatment on it for the first I'll be open about this sort of thing. Why not. But they took blood from me and then they needled my scalp. So that's where I was. So I usually wear a hat, that's usually a part of my outfit. But I but I can't wear a hat because I might have a bloody head.

So I feel like vulnerable because you can't wear a hat a little bit.

Yeah, I always wear I always kind of wear one. I feel like a little I feel like I mean because I wear a sweatshirt and jeans and then without a hat, I kind of feel just like a little kid. I feel like messy if that makes sense.

That's funny, Okay, I had a big tunis ub. You gotta have a hat with a propeller on it. Yeah, it's funny to me too.

I feeling I wear a hat almost every day, and I'm not I was great, I don't. Yeah, And so people get upset when it or tell me I'm gonna go go goald or bald or.

Golfing, I'm gonna They're always like why you're wearing a hat? Are you going golfing?

And I say, actually say blood out of my business.

Yeah, but I had a like alopecia stress induced off center the size of a silver dollar, the old ones now those new gold ones, now you know the size.

But I didn't even know it was there.

It's not often I'm running my fingers through my own hair, but uh, the girl I sing at the time, it's like, oh, yeah, you have a bald spot. I thought you knew about it, and it was in the front center and I, uh, yeah, I went and got some steroids put in there, and

I said, it was probably stressed. What what is what caused yours?

I think I was wearing my I don't know if it was wearing a hat or whatever, but I always I think just maybe regular aging or yeah. Yeah, I truly wonder if anyone's ever said talk soupy in before. I hope, I hope you're the first.

I believe it was a phrase I heard at the pitch for Toush point zero, which I was at that He simply said, we're going to take things from the internet and get reactions from people watching it. And then all these Comedy Central executives were forced to watch two Girls, one cup and then watch their reactions to it. So it was a bunch of people that of course, I had never seen this. I think it's a fake video.

And then it did. But he was comparing it to talk to.

And by the way, I have a little connection to that is that the Birthday Boys got a sketch on Tosh point Zer at one point. I remember how you feature sketches, Yeah, yeah, of course, so this is like very early, like maybe two thousand and seven or eight. He put he put one of our little sketches on there.

I remember that.

Actually, it was a big it was a big deal for us back back back then.

That's so exciting.

Yeah, it was very exciting. I think that was like one of the first things we had on TV or something.

And what didn't that become a show? What what happened to?

Yeah, we did it. We did two seasons on i f C with i FC.

Okay, yeah, of course.

Odin Kirk came in and worked with us. And I remember when we pitched to like the president of i f C, she like was just like I love Breaking Back. I was like, this is great news. She just seems to love Bob and so I think he very much helped us sell that show. And anyways, and he was he was great. We worked with him for two years and he would always be like like They're gonna make a Sall show and You're like, yeah, right, and then he was like I'm going to make a Sall show.

He was.

He took off. But forever I was like, the Saw show really and then you know, and then it really and then it was gigantically huge.

So insane. That is one of my favorite like life arcs that I have observed because I've known him for a long time and he's like he so deserves it.

Is that talented. That's why mister Show was so good. Like those guys are so brilliant, but that piece. To watch him act like that every week is like, holy shit, Like it's truly watching someone bloom almost Yeah, so cool.

And you know he wanted that bad, do you like? Like, I think it's crazy that they never even got nominated for Emmys, because would be great to see Bob get kind of his his flowers.

And it has been cool to watch because there was a time where it seemed like David Cross was acting in a lot of things and then I would go to an audition for something where I was like, I probably won't get this, and he would be there. I'm like, how am I auditioning for the same thing? Why is he even here auditioning? Why wouldn't he just Bob or David? Sorry, yeah, Bob Odenkirk would be at these auditions for something that I thought he was way too good for.

And I love that all of a sudden he just became this household name. It's just the best.

It's crazy.

He told he was like, I went in for like a Marvel movie and I was and they didn't let me see the script and I read the script and I walked out and they chased me down, and I was like, casting is this and that'd be like come in and read and he's like, I'm not right for it.

I think that's also Bob is modest and in a lot of ways too, where I think he's just or like you know, he's just like reads the script and is like this isn't for me, just walks out.

He's like a he's this super writer producer guy that like is realistic and knows this stuff.

Yeah, why should I through this? There's no way you're picking me, which no one.

Should go through that process, as we all know, it's the more horrible process.

In the world.

I'm still so damaged from all of my I did so much crazy auditioning when I first moved to LA because it's like that's what you do and that's how you spend your time, and I am in no way built for it, Like I am so oversensitive. Yeah, and I didn't do the work, so it'd be like I wouldn't know the lines and I'd just be kind of like this sucked, and then I'd go in there still wanting them to get me the park with like that energy coming off me.

It's just awful.

Well, it's also so they give you so much stuff to memorize, and it's like unless you like truly have twenty four to forty eight hours available to like you have to read off the script. I mean like unless you're really really good at memorizing lines, which I know a lot of people are. Yeah, but just like come in tomorrow at noon, like you get that the day before, and it's like, memorize these eight pages, right, And then I would be like I was like working an assistant job.

No, They're like, how did it's like being able to cry on camera?

But yes, is sweating and trembling. How do you do that? You have such control over your body.

I hope you used that later on, like, because that's I feel like those are the kind of things in comedy. You're basically just like you just you stumble on good ideas by actually going through the pain of the real reality of the idea. Yes, hopefully at some point in your life you played this nervous guy.

I do one hundred percent play the super nervous guy, and I think I did just feed into that eventually. But it is that funny thing of there's you know, you go into a room and it's usually a little nice old lady and then I'm like the tripping over words and I can't speak. It's fucking horrible. It's the worst. It still is. It's even worse now without rooms, which is crazy because I would so much rather go into

It is the hardest things, especially in the last few years, where I got so used to just being on my own just read. I would record the other side of it on an iPad and then just read with my voice, so you can tell it's my voice.

That's what I've started to do myself. Yeah, do you do like that? It seems hard to pull off.

It is very hard to pull off, but it makes you practice it.

Yeah, yeah, enough to where the timing it's like, but it's inevitably there's a moment that's just rushed because I didn't leave enough silence.

Between my recording and so you're like rushing.

It's forcing this weird performance and it's all on you because you're literally the other person.

That was my issue with it, and I was like wondering. I was like, can I like a clicker to do the next line or something? You know what I mean? But I don't know. I can't figure that out. Yeah, i'd be a multi millionaire.

I'm sure that's the app that you need to develop.

Wait, let me ask this question, Yes, are you hungry or is there any errand you need to run that we could do well.

I had that giant tuna fish stuff. But I also I love food, So if you guys wanted food, I always like to get food. Dough Boys the podcast Nick Wigeran I does Nick who is like, I'm sure as you saw Chris back in the day. He's like very unassuming, yes, and then he'd like write sketches about like a brother fucking his sister or a.

Yeah exactly, I yeah, borderline. When I first met him, I'm like, oh, it's like maybe Mormon. And then he did that that monster mash thing that was about all the monsters having an origin.

Yeah.

I don't remember the lyrics, but I do remember watching it over and over.

The monster.

So they suck and they fuck, the monsters fuck and and then I showed up on Monday and we were all locked in a little room, he and I and Hal Rudnicks who I'm sure, and Jordan Moore was about. It was all UCB sketch folks, and and everyone we used for bits was UCB and Uh. I would just stare at Nick because I couldn't believe that that came out of this person I was looking at. And then once I got to know him, I'm like, Oh, you're just hilarious person. I think that was one of one

Yeah.

Yeah, I kind of peeked and then I focused on stand up. I'm okay with that.

Nick. Nick does not write anymore. He just he's he's a He's like, I'm a podcaster.

Now, oh really, yeah, he's good.

I want him to write, I mean just because I feel like it would like get him out of my life a little more.

Time, free you up a little bit.

A little bit I do, by the way, I do have to get I'll tell you all my skin ailment. I was at the dermatologist.

Oh sure, sure, this is my favorite ship. As Karen knows, I wanted to be a doctor.

Chris like medical a lot.

Describe the rash.

Well I have. He told me what type of XMO was. But on my hands, I get like a like kind of blistery exima. And it doesn't happen all the time. It happens. And he was like, oh it's cold. A lot of people are getting that now, that's what he said today. But like my my fingers will get like itchy kind of so like.

A philangeal psoriasis. I think I pretend to be making it sounds, the pronunciation and everything.

God, I can do it. I know I can do it without the school.

So that's that's that. Well, that was the big one. I mean my hair was the where they needled. My scalp was the was the big one.

And what is scalp needling? Kail?

So they took my blood which I still got the little bandage on, and they you know, they put in the little machine that spins it around and then they put it in a needle. They need all your head where on your scalp where the hair isn't growing, and then it like starts to grow back.

It sounds like stem cells, stem cell stuff.

Yeah, I guess, I guess so.

Yeah, And it's also I had that done too onificial for micro needling. Yes, oh yes, okay, very disturbing looking. I mean you don't feel it because it's all numbed up or whatever.

But yeah, I feel like that's a it's like an effective cure, right or an effective treatment.

Yeah.

Yeah, the hair is supposedly supposed to It takes like three treatments they said to do it. And I like, I took Propecia when I was in college, and I like,

Oh it sounds yeah, Are you sore now?

I'm like, it felt like my head was bleeding for like like a couple hours. Maybe it's like it felt like it stopped bleeding like fifteen minutes before we started doing this. I guess.

So they take a reserve of that blood and then kind of carry it onto your the movie carry not carry it, transport it over to you, and then pour it Surewin Williams style.

H yes, I guess it's in the needle I saw, but I also saw the it was like kind of a white fluid, So I don't know if that's like them spinning out the you know when they spin out the blood or whatever. It sounds yeah, yeah, oh the.

Plate the lit sweet Were you saying, like, do you have something to pick up at the So?

I do have for my X and I have something at this on the glenn Dale Boulevard CVS, which we actually drove near on the on our first little loop.

Perfect.

There, let's go get it. It's like a cream or so we'll see, we'll see.

It's medical privacy issue.

Oh no, please, we can discuss. I'll read off what.

The cream is.

We could discuss it.

I'm so glad you're open about this because I was going to demand what kind of doctor it was full disclosure.

Yes, doctor Kim. He's great dermatologist. He's in the Only issue with it, and this is what caused an issue for me earlier is that it's in like that like West Medical building and you know the fox lots, you know those towers. Yeah, yeah, it's just such a It took fifty minutes to get there. And then when I was looking at the time waiting in the room as they were about to needle my scalp, the time was just going up to like an hour and ten minutes.

Oh it's it's quite all right, Yeah, doctor. Sometimes they just assume you have the whole day.

Yeah he did, he truly, it was I was just kind of alone here for a while. He did not care. And also I never even go over that way, and my life is so in this area now that I never I was driving on Sunset Boulevard. I was like, I never see you know, I never see Sunset Boulevard.

What are these businesses?

I do a lot of What are these businesses where it's like I will not leave my house almost ever, And then I go outside, I'm like, when did this get built? And it's like sometime in the last seven years. Probably it's very possible that I just missed it, so sorry. The one on Glendale is the one that's in that little strip mall.

It's you would take you go over this bridge here and then you would take a left kind of the same way we went on the when we first.

Yeah, left on Rowena, but then go to the right.

Yeah, near near the Red Lion. That one great great bar Campbell. I'm looking for it. Well it be into two will being a container? Will we all get to try it?

I think everyone could try to.

Like you, I better reb it. I gotta reb it all over my body.

I was like, I won't need it too.

Wow. Oh yeah, good sir.

Yeah that is That was the guy that I've turned on my blinker and he was like twenty feet back and he sped up to not let me go.

In front of him.

Yeah, and then cut all the way over three lanes to swerve onto the freeway.

The what is this?

It's not the Shakespeare Bridge because that's the other one of the bridge that goes into atwater, which I don't know the name of this bridge. It's seen better days, like.

The rain is like, I'll get you.

I know what's the classic Jack Nicholson.

Movie Five Pieces?

Oh no, I know, Chinatown?

Chinatown?

Thank you.

That bridge is it's featured in it.

And there's these beautiful like ornate lanterns and it has seen much better days.

This whole area is well, it's a little nunnery convent that Katy Perry tried to buy. And there was that was there was and then that also was that one the Lobyanca houses right the murder of the Manson murder house.

One of the Manson What was Katy Perry gonna do with a nunnery?

She she was gonna buy the nunnery right next door to that Manson murder house. She was going to turn it into like her home, was the idea of it. But then there was like I guess one old nun was.

Still in there fighting her like in the press, like what is she? Why is she doing this to me? It was literally Katy Perry against a nun.

Yeah, and she has like that religious background, so I think it was like I don't know if she wanted it more because of that what.

She missed Jesus so much. She's like, I mean to live here.

By the way, I apologize in advance for taking into maybe one of the worst parking lots in Uh.

That's right, it is.

Really it's like up there with I guess, like I don't know a Trader Joe's parking lot or something. It's but horrible.

Yeah, they it's you know what, That's what we look for. That's our content.

Sometimes back when I would drive, I would just lose my mind and say, I'm glad those days are over.

But did you would you switch off driving?

I Karen is much better at You're a very good driver.

Thank you, Mike Mitchell.

I'm able to talk.

I really can't do it, and I and I have practiced since, like just having conversations casually.

Our brains. It's a guygirl thing. Its brains work.

I think you're right. I think you're absolutely right.

On the way home, I was like I'll do some scheduling on the way home. And then I was like, oh, I'm going like four miles per hour.

What happens when I if I'm writing with my dad and he starts telling me a story. We're on the freeway and he's literally going forty miles an hour because he's so concentrated on that, And I'm like, this is unsafe, Like, tell me the story when we get there.

That's cute and horror, you know, terrifying, Yes, same time.

Yes, what are we learning? It's just all men have some form of ADHD.

No women's brains are able to multitask because we have to take care of kids and fight off saber toot tigers and ship like that.

So it's like we're able to do it because because our setup is.

We have to do it. That reminds me of I just I always thought it was a man job to fight a saber tooth.

Well you're not there, hey.

That's just so my classic Flintstone.

Sits Flintstone's sexism. The best time bring it back?

I say, I mean, is it already brought back?

Probably a little bit.

Andrew Tait, That's kind of what he was trying to do he just loved hand of barbarish it was.

It was a misled fanboy.

The idea of families like having dinner and gathering around the TV to watch The Floodstones is very funny to me. I guess like Simpsons is the same thing.

Yes, but I don't know.

But The Flintstones was not in any way near the Simpsons in that way of like it was four kids, but they put it.

On at night.

Yeah, right, yes, Like it feels like there's a little more slice of life stuff I gets. I don't know. I'm sure they were just happy with anything that was.

I think the answer is, and I'm pretty sure about this. Everyone used to be a little dumber.

Yeah, and we have a vault and smaller.

Trist yes, yes, extra large. It's really tight on me.

I'll be right back.

Oh oh yeah, it's a prank door.

I'm so sorry.

No, it's okay.

I'm gonna I'll explain everything.

Oh nice, you don't.

I got a bunch of stuff.

You got snacks?

I got some. They all look weird. It could have been a bigger disaster. It was a ship show. And then I was waiting to did I close my door away? I think I did. I was waiting to get up front and there was only a couple of people in. It took so long. I was like, well, I can't leave without the cream. And then I got to the front and they don't the I don't think that the lady put it into the system, so there was no cream. So I was like, here's no fucking cream. And so

I'm willing to find right now.

And then some Cheetos buffalo like you get. And then I got some Reces stuff too. In the back here there's a couple of eggs and there's egs two ways.

Actually, mind if I what are sweet?

This is the best of all times.

And I'm afraid you came out creamless. Why did they smell that?

It's such a strong, delicious smell.

Oh yeah, but.

They're going to be upset.

Oh yeah, don't listen to this part.

Yeah yeah, don't listen to clus right now?

This delicious? Those are good.

I'm strong.

No one likes this, no, okay, I forgot.

Yeah, there's been times in the past where we just eight into the microphones and it's the only complaints.

We have the same issue on our podcast as people get my House.

Yeah, nobody wants to listen to that, but it is your podcast.

But there's also some people who love it.

They're freaks who like it, like those people they've go up to their cars and hits the tail pins.

My little addiction is there.

Our listeners. Mike Mitchell hosts a podcast called dough Boys. I don't think we've done any kind of pluggy anything that's okay, But is there anything in like you're trying and testing and discussing because it's all fast food, right, m So, what is your like favorite thing that you have discovered on that show?

Well?

Have you had any discoveries like that?

Hmmm, Well, while we were doing it, that Popeye's chicken sandwich came out, which was really good. Yeah, that was a craze for a minute there. I think things that I actually tried. The Oh, I know what it is. It's bon Chon. I never had bon chon before. I know not what it is. It's like a Korean wings place.

It is.

It's great, It's really really really good. I can't believe they didn't have the cream. I'm so upset.

Yeah, yeah, that's the just an end of day failure.

I think it's because we talked so much about what a nightmare this parking lot is, and I came right in and parked immediately, and then.

There had to be some sort of yea, there had to be something wrong.

If it's okay out here, it's not going to be okay in there.

The secretary lady was great, she had her her child was there and crying. There was a little baby in the office.

Oh take your sad baby to work day.

Yeah, so I think that like my cream. He was like, oh, by the way, like get this cream. He needs this cream too. So I don't know if I blame the baby.

I guess yet this world's problems.

These are I feel like Carolin, you said about the smell of these. If you, if you like, found like a dead body and opened up a package of Twizzlers gummies, it would I'm saying, it would take out the smell of the dead body. It's a hurry.

Wow, it's powerful.

It's powerful.

Yeah, this is like a grandma's popery dish. That is strong, but.

I'm I have a kind of a I'm obsessed with gummy candy and have been since like it first came out, because when I was in grammar school, I got a Hello Kitty like school kit pencil pack and there was an eraser in this like set that was I think strawberry scented, and it smelled so good, and then the texture of it, like I loved smelling it and then biting it and smelling it and biting it, and it was as if my brain was like, get ready because in two years you're going to be able to bite

It's I guess it's probably hard to tell people who were born in like the two thousands or even late nineties, like what you now eat, we could only smell.

Dreamed of this ship.

Yeah, you know, when I was a kid in the eighties, they used to try and make us eat erasers.

They made seem enticing.

I gotta tell you, I love I love these whatever the hell these are the twizzlerummies, the Jolly Rancher bites are I mean, they're they are exactly what we're talking about. They're edible erasers. I mean they're size of pencil racers. I kind of love them.

Oh I'm afraid I will too. I developed oh yeah, oh, and there's stuff in the middle.

Come on, and they're sour. There's a sour granular on the top.

Yeah, and they're real soft. Sometimes gummy things are a little too uh hard for my taste. They fight you, yeah, they fight me.

It's a lot. There's a lot I like them. I guess I've never grown out of like childish tastes. I still like a big slurpee or something I.

Never had as a kid, I didn't have.

My mom was a healthy person and I and I didn't get unless I went to a friend's house. But now that i've cut out alcohol, I am. I have such a sweet tooth that I need to contend with every day. And it's a new thing. That's and I'm having trouble. I'm having trouble with it, to be honest.

Just get give into it.

I have.

That's the trouble I'm having. I've not put up a fight. I've just complied, what's what's your go to in a movie? Are you?

Are you going? Because I am a I do a popcorn and uh with butter and like a coke. That's what I want. Yeah, I don't always do that.

You have to. It's the only time I drink coke is at a movie and I ate a lot of popcorn and I am I call me an old fart, but I do get red vines or twistlers.

Yeah, it just seems like what you're supposed to.

I like it.

I think it's a good choice.

I like to do popcorn, no butter because then I buy plane Eminem's and put them into the popcorn.

That is. Whoever introduced me to that, I was blown away and how great that was.

Yeah, I don't trust their butter pump, So I always go to the movies with a stick of butter in my pocket. And by the time you're like in the second act, it's perfectly suck.

You were ready to go.

Yeah, I just put it in my fist and squished it over the bucket.

I did this is I made. I brought up this point yesterday on my podcast, and I think it is a good idea. But if they sold little side packets of butter, like you know, like you put the butter on. But I'm saying like, if you're in the theater, you're like, there's not enough butter. Yeah, I don't have to leave you and go get I got this dollar packet or whatever, fifty cents whatever you charge.

How would you design that packet?

You know, some of that stuff seems tough to figure. I mean, I'm not exactly like an engineering type gut, but I think it would have to be plastic with like a tear off, which yeah, means that so many of them would explode. I'm sure, yes, And there would be a nightmare for like cleaning the theater too.

Yeah yeah, but that's already such a nightmare. I don't think it can get worse.

I worked in the theaternet was like we would just push stuff under the seats and then that's so many full diapers.

Like I've never seen more full diapers in my life than when I worked at a movie theater.

View my mom's brother, my uncle Kurt, worked He was a janitor at a movie theater for many years, and many times he slipped and fell because the floor was always riddled with grease.

It's horrible.

Yeah, and it's slanted. You know. It's a dangerous job. It is a dangerous job.

I actually have an idea for the butter the oil packet butter oil.

Let's see, please, we can go on on this together.

By the way, Okay, this.

Is okay, but we are stealing it from like a Larel home color kit because they do a thing on one of those.

To make it like as if it's more conditioning.

They have like a little separate thing that you have to snap off the top, yeah, and squirt it into the dye. That is like it's like nurturing oil or it's bullshit, right, but it's like a very specific amount. And the way they have it, it's like hard backed and then squishy front so you can control it better.

This is perfect.

I think we've done it.

I think we have truly, And they could probably use materials to get that like a little warm right, like norm enough to get on popcorn, I feel like, or.

Make it out of like whatever aluminum foil that if you rub it between your hands you can heat it up.

Yeah.

Just tell people put this in your pocket for fifteen minutes, yeah, until it's ready or.

People would think we're going to create a whole new cancer for people.

Yeah, is it so bad for you?

You might be owed money in the class acts and lawsuit against Pocket.

Butter.

I fell for Pocket Butter.

I was at I went to the Vista this Uh we get I saw a Mega Man.

It's I haven't been there yet. It's what's that place?

Like? It's fancy?

Right?

Yeah, they redid it. Quentin Tarantino redid it. And he was in there himself. I think, hammering away and ship. But I do think he is very I think he is very hands on. He is like So I was there and I was watching O Mega Man. I saw this like shadowy figure walk down. I was like, who is that? Like I know that outline and uh and it was Tarantino. He was in there watching the movie. My god, wow. Yeah. And then and then and then I went the next day and my buddy Mookie, you know Mookie.

Yeah, I haven't seen him in well over a decade.

He's doing great.

I think about him all the time.

Yeah, he went in there and he went into the coffee shop and and Tarantino was and there like, hey, we're closed. So they were doing some business in there. I guess, you know, like I was like, you know.

I'm smelling feet. Sorry, stay out, stay out, it's feet hour.

A copy of that when you brew it smells like feet is that's I think that is what he's trying to do.

That's what people need.

A lot of signature items there.

If you go up around here. I'm there. But I think you know what. I like that he likes feet. I think it's okay.

It rubbed me the wrong way, and then once I started thinking about it, I'm like, but what's more innocent and enjoying feet? That's when I was a little kid, that's what. And I'm this is going to make me sound weird. But when I was like in daycare, I thought that tickling a person's feet was what sex probably was.

But I grew I hear between the.

But yeah, I just once I grew out of it. My knee jerk reaction is to be judgmental, and I shouldn't be. So I'm sorry if I shamed any of you footsies out there, are.

They going to come at you in the comments and stuff like that.

I think it's like the advent of the Internet is when I realized that they are legion and like the footsies, they're everywhere and we just no one was talking about it.

I tell you, guys, is Nick will sometimes wiger as like you said, he seems like a Mormon and he's a freak. They'll sometimes like take his shoes off and like get his feet in a picture. And I think people do go not so far. There is a future where all comedians are just showing their feet and getting money from it instead of from comedy or acting work or anything like that.

Maybe I need to stop.

Just because my own feet looked like I kicked a tree doesn't mean I need to start looking for the beauty and.

Feet, yes, and let other people look for the beauty in your feet.

And I do mean on an airplane with a stranger.

There's too much judgment. There's been so many people trying to open me up, sentually.

To this world.

I think that you should take your feet on. I think everyone enjoys when their feet, when there are bare feet out of the plane. I think it's the perfect.

Time to do it again. I take your toes on holiday.

I mean, I'm giving you these, you guys, these wait and you can't leave us with all these trees I got it.

Well you can.

I want these.

I just.

I'm going to put a couple in my pocket.

You want you want these?

I want those?

Of course these for you.

Are you sure this is two different flavors. I can't handle all this flavor.

I just want to try one Buffalo.

Shima?

Is there some?

I'm sorry no, I'll just move up here, figure out the trees. Can that guy get past me?

You can get where Where are you from before you go?

I'm from Quincy, mass just uh south of Boston?

Okay, okay?

What's your real accent sound like I used to?

I remember my when I was at freshman orientation, They're like, say your name and say a little bit about yourself, and I started being like I might come from Quincy. And then the orientation leader was like, uh, don't do a character. And I was like, oh, this is my accent. And she was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Oh wow, she thought I was like. I was like, why would I ever be like, like, what's up all

Heavy, you really do have nothing.

Now it's gone away. If I get drunk, or if I'm like talking to them.

Yeah, apparently when I get drunk, I do sound I suddenly sound Canadian.

To some people.

But I asked because you you and some people are offended by it. I appreciate when people say sorry all that you say, you apologize. I apologizing and I am too, and I feel supported and i'd like to say sorry, I mean thank you.

I'm apologizing for my comedy a lot, and I'll do it now. Sorry, sorry about this whole ride. I apologize.

You made up for it entirely with this racist this so much.

Yeah, I used to tell jokes and then say sorry. Me saying sorry is how you knew the joke was over.

I've finally shaken that there's.

Another full egg here that's a different style egg. I'm steal in one of those style eggs. But then I don't know what happened to the other nowhere here somewhere.

I'm already because I've been mad at the Cadbury Egg since its existence, because I don't know what's in there.

But this is going to be peanut butter in there is it's as this is version of a caburry.

Fucking out of this recist egg is yeah, because inside it's not just a white you know, uh hiasis lotion.

It's the stem cell egg.

Maybe that's what got confused, Maybe that my my hand lotion is.

In my god egg is worth three and yeah, yeah, I'm sorry they didn't have your know it's all right, I will.

I'll call and yell at them.

Of course your voice really get in their face.

But thank you, thank you for the ride. This is great and here here you take these. If you take the.

Thanks you as a finalized Oh yes.

First of all, I would love you for you guys to come on, dough boys. We need to have you on. We would love to have it.

I would love it would be.

Together or separate, whatever you guys want, whatever, whatever you'd like, we'd love to have you. And then, uh so that's that my podcast I do with Nick Waigeren. There's a Patreon and then I'm on a show called Twisted Metal on Peacock if you want to check that out. What's that?

Yeah, yeah, tell us about that.

It's actually it's a driving show. I should have brought this up when I when I got in. It's like a based on a video game that was like driving where you just blew people up basically, and there was people know if by the Sweet Tooth, which is this clown guy and I drive around with him a bunch and it's like crazy kind of sci fi horror comedy show. It's great.

Oh my gosh, peacocky, it's on Peacock.

It's okay, it's on the Peacock. Yeah, and congratulations Joe isn't it was a wrestler and then Will Arnett does his voice and then who else is in there? Anthony Mackie and Stephanie Beatrice who's They're both great?

So wow, yeah, I'll watch it tonight. Please do.

If I'm currently paying for Peacock, I cancel and then I read started and then I canceled.

That's the Peacock. Under my feeling like am I paying for this an how or not?

But yeah, I wish they would just bundle it all together and we could call it.

Cable, which that I think that they are. I heard that they're what I like. I was told someone's going to buy Peacock at some point that was like they were like a Max might buy and stuff on your right.

Now we're just going back to where we're going back, and now.

We're getting paid less. That's just basically that's the result they took.

Over.

That's exactly what happened.

Yeah, well, I'm let's watch this show that Mike doesn't get paid enough for. That's we didn't was an opinion based just it's sarcasm.

It's the opposite. He's rich. It's a beautiful place. We're dropping you off, by the way.

It is really nice.

They're townhouses here that I live in one of these.

They're gorgeous.

Yeah.

Again, we're not too far off from from the murder house, which is kind of scary. It's a little ways away, but that's like up.

Around the corner that way.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, what murder Manson?

Oh that but also it's a Manson murder house. Then they tore it down, they reap because I saw this on like My Special Haunting or whatever.

But they rebuilt a new house and the new house is haunted. That's what I saw on one of those guys.

I always you know how much that would piss me off. Yeah, I tear down a house and then it's re haunted.

You'll never get away from this ship.

I just think of the ghosts waiting patiently at the construction site for eight months with their little invisible bags, pan stuck candy cigarettes.

Well, go drive by that. If you guys want to scare to end your night, I will.

I will.

I think that these eggs are googless. By the way, just to let you know, I'm not sure are the peanut butter ones, but I have no idea.

It says peanut butter creme on it.

There is good.

There's a noome lot.

Oh, it's creme.

Oh, I'm very excited. Thanks Mike, you were great.

You so much for having me.

Thank you, thank you for doing it.

Oh yeah, thank you. Sorry, sorry for the sorry for the me being late today and for the miscommunication. I'm horrible at emails, so I apologize.

Thank you for the apologies, and never stop saying sorry that I was raised. You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D y n Are Crunch Crunch Egg. This has been an exactly right.

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Our talent booker is Patrick Coottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff.

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Thank you, Oh, you're welcome.