S4 - Ep. 26 - Oscar Montoya

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send you off in style. We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared or was it fine? Malborn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris, our our guests today, Hi clubs and goes across the country.

We were looking for somewhere more dimly lid, for.

The full of fresh as treaty as possible.

Let's yeah, start with the normal stuff. What's what's in the bag and give it to us now. Oscar Montoya everyone put.

Hi, Oscar, thanks for doing this with.

Us, Thanks for having me?

Yes, Car, oh, thank you.

I have to get rid of it.

You have to get rid of it.

Why because Elon Musk is a straight up Nazi.

Like there's just no we it. You can't laugh it.

Off, like have you fought about and I've seen this like it's always fun to me. I there was a Bentley that put a Honda emblem on it, which is kind of the opposite, and I would see it all the time in Venice. It was really funny to me that that person did that because it was a beautiful car. And then they're like, it'd be funny if I pretended this was you could do that.

You could just put a Volkswagen logo on it.

Okay, perfect, Yeah, Just let everybody just ye be like, no, you're the one that doesn't understand I am not a white supremacist.

Why I decide whether or not I.

Then maybe don't put Volkswagen. That was a bad example.

That's the worst case scenario.

I think that people would get what you're saying, though if you covered it up, it'd be like, Okay, I get it.

Then you're like, oh here it's a Ford. Nope, that that one's bad too.

What all cars are bad? Carts are bad.

I look at the Calvin stickers out there these days, all.

Of them, everything was right, pee.

On all the cards. That's what we need for four.

That's what we all have to start doing.

For golden showers for the car guys.

Is that a high school soccer game or is it a leak soccer game?

It is it's like a high school. They have a game every single night, it feels like, and they are loud. They are loud, and they love to sing songs really about soccer. No turn turned out for what Oh Flowers Miley Cyrus I heard. I'm like, this doesn't feel like a high school song.

Wow. So not Josh Jams Volumes twelve. That's great.

Yeah, we loved your neighborhood.

Before you got in the car, we were talking about your neighborhood, but it was thank you.

The beautiful Uh what are what's that style of it ran? Victorian?

Yes, yes they are yes, Victorian houses. Yeah, there's a bunch of beautiful houses here very close by. They shot the show Charmed. Yeah, they have the outside door. I've never My friend was visiting from Chicago and she was like, you gotta take me to the Charmed house. She got and I was like, okay, I've never seen the show. Yeah, i go to what I assume is the Charmed House because I'm like, Okay, this is kind of big and spooky.

Why did you tell me?

Wait? So did you just kind of make it up? You're like, it must be this one.

Well, I googled, I was like charmed house, and it showed me the address. So I went and it's actually the house that was next door. It wasn't as impressive as the house that we shot. So I was like, this is the.

House you're talking about exactly where I live. And I when I do cameos, I drive around and I gave have a tour of these houses. There's the Thriller house, which has been burnt I think from arson, but someone every time I drive by, there's like a quivering curtain and there's someone that lives.

In there that doesn't turn on any lights.

Really why did they buy it? Then?

Uh, he's got good songs now, I think.

And then if you don't want people taking pictures.

Right, But on that street there are renovated beautiful houses, beautiful like one is all black with like gothic there's.

Like I think that's the one I took pictures of.

Yeah, that street is the street that boasts the most Victorian beautiful home.

There's a plaque, isn't there a Yeah?

And and hitching posts for horses are shaped like horses heads, you know, because downtown people used to ride horses to work.

Sure, come home.

To their drafty old house and yell at their family.

Maybe that's what you should do, is just buy a horse, the ultimate hipster move horse.

Like I've been seeing in my neighborhood.

A lot of dudes with cowboy hats and and and cowboy boots.

I think you should just outdo.

Them all and actually just ride a horse on sunseide.

Yeah, what are people going to say?

They can't say shit, They can't shit.

You want to be riding a tesla instead, That's what he'll say.

The funniest thing, though, is there are so many tesla's in Los Angeles, Like there's just it's nice to know that there's like twenty thousand people also in this very awkward position.

It's like, what are you a fucking Nazi?

That guy right there, Yeah, hey, and he's guiltier than I out.

Everyone thought the problem would be throwing away the battery.

But no, there's worse problems now. Yeah, Oscar, what's going? How was your Thanksgiving?

It was great, It was relaxing. I spent it with a friend who insisted on cooking everything, so there was no stress for me to prepare any food, and I just went and ate.

That was intering. That's a dream come true.

How was your Thanksgiving?

Mine was the same? It was.

I spent it with two friends who insisted on cooking everything, my dad and my sister, and I get away with so much in my family, but that one is the biggest that I really I do convey my appreciation.

But my dad was a.

Fireman in San Francisco, so you you have to know how to cook in a firehouse. You yeah, because you trade off different nights being responsible for making food. So if you suck, everyone will hate you and be mean to you. So you have to be good at cooking. And basically, guys learn from the senior guys all the good recipes and the good stuff. So my dad's a really good cook, and then my sister is really really good cook. So I just kind of sit back and

Honestly, that's the dream. That's that's what we want.

It's pretty nice.

Chris. What about you? How is your things.

It was.

I have never been responsible for the food, and I swear I'm not doing it on purpose, but I I ate I did the wrong thing where I didn't prepare my stomach elasticity, and I really was having problems in a guest. As a guest, I talked too much about medical things. I'm trying to avoid the specifics, but we all know what happened.

I had a little problem.

But Oscar doesn't know either of us.

I did I do that thing.

I do that thing where I'm like, good to me too, let's talk about diarrhea, and I did.

I'm sorry, as her, very sorry.

That's okay, but it.

Was the best. Yeah, I've I still have leftovers. I got this.

That's the one thing I usually you don't get when you're a guest, get sent home with leftovers.

So I really that is nice.

Scored this year, I've been eating Thanksgiving food for all week.

Yeah, for the rest of the year.

Yeah, it's frozen like a dead deer in my walking freezer.

More turkey, more turkey. I do love. I love Thanksgiving. I really love.

Thanksgiving as a holiday because it's well for me, absolutely no stress whatsoever. But I love the Thanksgiving dinner meal. I could eat that once a week. Yes, it's my favorite.

What is your favorite Thanksgiving like dish? Are you a turkey freak? Are you like a sides person?

You know what I am.

It's a it's basically a combination of that. I'm a combo bite make the perfect bite person. Oh yeah, and then I do that until my stomach explodes because you just keep making the perfect bite and it gets and you refine it and you get it better, and then you have a bite of your roll or whatever.

Yeah, just different shades of beige and I yeah. And the only thing that breaks through is the thing I detest, which is that cylinder car, that gelatinous cranberry.

Like disagree?

I love it. We that's we have to have it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say, Chris, you are the odd person out here because I also love a cranberry. I don't know.

What's wrong with me.

It's a deal breaker.

I don't like the juice. If someone spent some.

Cranberry juice, you're the most versatile of the juice.

For years. Because I know it is versatile.

Every other fruit company, they literally have franchised that thing past the point of spider death, like you.

Can get any.

Kind I know, And I guess my opinion changed on it when I stopped drinking copious amounts of.

Vodka with.

I am not I have had when someone really gets creative and knows what they're doing with cranberry, like where there's twigs in it and stuff.

I like that twigs, you know, where it's full cranberry berries with.

The shells and that.

No, No, that's shooting.

That's a bad decision, you guys.

So you're arguing rather than for homemade cranberry sauce, you want the gelatinous cylinder from a can.

Yes, the crime, lock me up, Chris.

That it's a shape like a can that you slice it on the can lines. So here's here's eight thin pieces and now here's a big fat piece in the midd because that's what the can shape.

Do do it?

Do you use it?

Kind of?

No? I don't like it, And I know our listeners are all saying that most people are on my side right now.

Please, we're going to we're gonna work social media for this one.

Yeah, like we ever have before. We're going to post a pold I guess.

And I've never I guess sound like the combination.

I don't need it as a condiment, like where it's like, oh I need a little cranberry on my turkey. I think other people if I did that, I would want it.

But I just it's all beige all day.

Really.

Yeah, like a like a group of people in a cult.

What's your favorite food, Chris food?

Oh boy, I mean I think and if I'd hate to just steer away from Thanksgiving meals, but I do believe it's ramen. Oh yeah, I'm a hot soup guy.

Oh my gosh. I know it's surprising.

I would to say when I need something brought to my house and I realized there's no food.

It's my go to, Oscar, what's your go to when you need hot food and brought to your house?

When I need hot food, I'm brought to my house.

I was brought to my house.

I'm a Thaie food sort of sort of person. Yeah, I like a pat. I'm a I'm a basic noodle guy. Yeah, a pets you or a pat tie is always my go to. It's delicious. What about you?

Do you ever in our neighborhood go to? It's Thai homesterrant of course it's name.

I love it.

There.

It's not a house stant it's a home.

It's a home.

Did I say house?

No? No, you know it's like the I.

Mean this house draw. Let's make this house drawn a homestrung. That's right, that's right, that was their mission.

I love it. And there's no one ever there.

No one is.

I feel like I'm the only person ever there.

Yes, I'm like, is this a front for something?

They're always happy to see me. If it's a front, I want to Yeah, a lookout. Just give me free noodles.

Mule for those people if you care so much about their cooking. I like type food because you can be doing all the carbs of Chinese food, but you're telling yourself you're getting all these.

Vegetables my god, yeah, totally right, right.

Just because there's something leafy resting on top.

Right.

Yeah, there's some sliced up carrot. So you're like, oh my god, I'm practically vegan.

Yeah. My brain does a trick where it's like, oh, you're eating healthy because it's not Chinese food. Yeah, weird, it's being a weird. What is this frozen and Incanto Disney on ice? Oh you are you seeing this.

This is new Disney. You have a podcast where you talk about Disney.

Reach yes, yes, wait wait talk to us about that.

Okay. So I when I moved to Los Angeles, I was very i'll say it, weirded out by Disney adults. I didn't, I don't, I don't really, I didn't get it. I was a little like gassholders, what's going on here? Because I'm from New York, so and like Disney people. There's not a lot of Disney adults in New York.

There's not a lot of Disney vibes in New York exactly. Yeah, that's actually anti New York vibes in my opinion.

I agree, I agree. So when I moved here, I was a little weird about by Disney dolson. I was like I Also, I was raised in Colombia, in South America, so I missed the big Disney craze of the nineties. I wasn't. I didn't grow up with like Hercules or et cetera, et cetera. So I've only seen two Disney movies ever. Oh and wow, So my friend Claire, who's the co host, took me to Disneyland to be like, huh, right,

Oh wow, that's amazing.

So I was like, why don't we just start a podcast where I watch every single Disney I love that movie.

I love knowing that that I that's amazing because any appreciation I have for Disneyland, it's just me remembering going on the Pirates to the Caribbean Ride or whatever as a kid, and I'm nostalgic for it, right, And when you go into the Tarzan Treouse, which used to be the Swiss Family Robinson one, I have vivid memories of being in there as a kid. It was really important to me that being said, I am not a Disney adult,

Yeah, well, we watched all of them mission completely. We finished it, and we watched every pixarm We watched every single Disney Channel original movie as well.

The first feature Fantasia.

The first feature is Snow White and really yeah, it's the very first animated feature film ever.

It is.

Yeah, okay, it's never been done before. People called Walt Disney a kookie crazy man for doing it, for doing it, for freezing his head, his frozen head directed.

It was the original premise of Frozen, but.

That's scary for.

Originally pitched this frozen head.

I fully agree with you, and I have known several Disney adults in my life, and at least one of them was also a sociopath.

So it is a strong vibe.

Strong vibe, and it also for a couple of them. I was just kind of like this. This to me feels like I had a friend who is obsessed with Star Wars and he was like when I was eight years old, I got brought to Star Wars and halfway through the film broke and he goes, So I'm now obsessed with it because I can't get that day back and that's his whole life.

But he knows it, he's fully aware of it.

I feel like Disney adults have no idea what the problem is and they don't want to know, and they're upset if you say that could possibly be why?

Yes, wow, you know, yes. I mean like it's it's there's like rings, right, It's like Dante's Inferno, right, and there's like the Disney adults who like, are the cis hetero heterosexual couples that go there. They were like, I'm his and she's mine, sort of like Mickey mouse finger glove pointing thing, which.

Here's a cursive embroidery on our hats.

Yes, exactly, exactly.

Oh wow.

And then you have you know, the Disney Gaze, which is another earth.

Oh yeah, you know it's a scene.

It's a oh it's a it is a scene, an aggressive scene. It's gay men uh in their thirties, usually bearish bearded.

I love it.

Who like, just live at Disneyland and it freaks me out.

But you know, because of the plush clad mascots are do you think any furries go there.

I'm sure they must sneak in some cuddles, but I don't think those costumes are furry.

I mean if I don't know, if they get.

That they all have an as flap on them. I don't know. You have to really look.

It's about crow, but it's seamless and easy to access.

Most of the kids don't know.

I was just built in.

It's the easiest way to get into the costume.

Now. But you're right, it's like, how much fur like quantifies you a fer.

Yeah, and is that would a free be offended that I would even suggest that, because it's like, that's not what it's about.

I don't I don't know.

I'd love to hear but true thinking about because I'm just thinking. The reason I even was able to say that was because I've recently accidentally slipped into an area of TikTok, which is just little children dressed as characters at Disneyland being spotted by the character they're dressed as. Yeah, and it is like the most immediate dopamine crying for no reason, like weirdest thing that I basically spent too much time watching, and now the algorithm things, I fucking love it.

Yeah, so I do.

It's almost like I shouldn't say such judgmental things about Disney adults because maybe I have a part of that inside me. She could be you can have that dormant gene reading to get activated.

We're in traffic right now, we're gonna have a hard edge to us. But when my nieces, who are now in their first year of college, when they dressed like little princesses and you can go to Disneyland and they get to meet all the princesses and it is they were freaking out, like it is the coolest thing that I would think I wouldn't appreciate, but once you see it, it's like, oh, this is pretty.

It is the key I'll never forget.

Also, I think that's based on when my niece was like five, we brought her to Disneyland or six, and she was obsessed with there's like a tinker Bell TV show that had a bunch of other tinker Bell was like the star, but then there was all these other fairies and my niece loved the like gothy bitchy one that was like bitchy and got right and we went we got in line to go see tinker Bell, but

Nora, but in a sweet like winky way.

It was.

It was beautiful.

There's a craft to that.

But the point is there are adults that also could still get trapped into that magic where they believe well, and I.

Think is there part of it maybe the appreciation for how like themed Out and like dedicated Disneyland is to providing that experience.

Yeah, yeah, it's that kind.

Of like that sense of escape that no child is disappointed on our grounds kind of fantasy.

Yeah maybe, yeah.

It is that which just makes me go, what disappointed you so badly that you need to.

Be doing this? Why can't you get high and.

Go to the movies like all the rest of us. They just be like, oh yeah, Barbie, I love that.

I mean yeah, if someone is a passholder, I'm like, how do you deal with the line There's never a day where it's not Maybe I'm in an ocean but I can't deal with the I I've only gone purposefully when it's raining.

It's the only time.

What do you typically do at the park when you're there? Are you a rights person? Do you like people? I love people?

Want you can tell Oscar has a podcast because he is hosting from the Back, I.

Feel like and I love it. I love that and I please keep doing it. Yeah, because it's hard for me to summon questions. I am a ride per I very much like the Indiana Jones ride, where there's an actor that's.

Like giant rolling rocks when he's running.

I always try and do my Harrison for It's good. Yeah, it's okay, but I have not every time I've been there.

The Haunted Mansion.

Is closed because that's right, a ghost mishappened.

I know, I've never never been on it.

That's wild.

What I know? Like Frog and.

Toad's why, Yes, when they go to Hell, it's just an understated hell.

Also not in the movie at all. You know. I went to the ride first and I was like, Oh, I'm excited to watch this Disney movie because they're gonna show Hell. Not in the movie at all. Wait, there's a what is the movie it's part it's okay, so okay, here something. So it's part of a of a package film, which is a movie because this was during the wartime where Disney was did not have any money, so they created a bunch of shorts and packaged them together and

It's a lot like the Stephen King book that has Shashank Redemption and stand by Me in it, but they're short.

Exactly yes, yeah, okah, good, I was really.

Going out on a lamp.

I can tell that your background is an improfit because you could have easily nobody.

When did you move?

I moved here in twenty fifteen, and I was sort of I'm from New York, so I reluctantly moved here for work.

Oh when you were a kid, When did you move to New York?

Like?

When did Oh?

Well, so I moved to the US when I was twelve years old. Okay, wow from Colombia. And uh yeah. I mean I'm from a village in South America. It's me It's called Palma, and we had no paved roads. It was very much like, Okay, this is a village. So when I moved to America, I moved to Queens, New York. And the craziest thing for me, I remember being twelve and freaking out that people had their lights on during the day. Oh wow, that to me was

You heard of you were right?

Yeah, you were just wasting lights. You're wasting energy.

So as a kid, that is making that adjustment, like were you just because like, for example, it makes me think of I went to.

School with a girl who grew up with no TV.

Yes, and on Monday morning after the weekend, all we do is stand in circles and talk about the TV shows we liked and whatever, and she just wasn't a part of it and just was checked out. And I was always like but sometimes she just stand there and be like yeah, yeah, whatever, and like did you have to spend a lot of time like kind of faking it or did you like actually say, I don't know what that is?

What is that?

Should I watch? Oh?

I like? So when I was twelve years old, I was going through puberty, I didn't speak the language, and I was gay as hell, so I stood out, Oh I love it. So I was like, Okay, as a little immigrant kid, I need to find a way to assimilate to American society, and the best and easiest way to do that was just consuming media at nausea. I still do that to this day.

Like in short Circuit, I'm done in number five, not from concentrate.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Earth Girls Are Easy, which is with Jeff Goldzoom, Geena Davis, Thank you, Julie Brown, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayne's and it's about aliens living in Los Angeles in the eighties. And I was very much like, Okay, I'm going to absorb I am an alien and I'm absorbing everything there is to know about American culture because the only we had a TV in Columbia, but it was black and white and we only I watched only two shows American shows.

Oh no, you didn't even get the original film.

So that's one where they're wearing leather jackets and you don't even get to see them run.

Yeah, and everything was like a little paranormal. There was like a paranormal arc. So that's that's what I thought America was.

Like.

I was like, Okay, cool, awesome, everyone's in leather jackets and they're either shooting each other or I.

Feel like I get it.

I get it.

Yeah, watch Nights.

They didn't have the Hoff in it, No, there was they were like ghost hunting and they were ghost hunting.

Yes, I love it.

Yes, I didn't know that. I've never spent the evening with the Oh I love it.

Uh So when I moved here, I was like, oh my gosh, I need to. There's like music was a big thing for me because I was like, because that's how we communicate. It wasn't even like TV. It was like listening to Lil Kim. It was listening to Next. It was Maya, you know. Like, so I was just its like, fully committed to listening to music. Watching MTV

Yeah, Yeah, hello, fellow teams.

Yeah exactly.

It's funny though, because all my memories only go back so far as to the day MTV started. Everything before that was just how to hold a fork and yeah, you know you got the important stuff, you did the right thing.

Yeah, exactly when in the eighties, because I was eleven or ten when MTV came out and we were so obsessed, Like when there were like family parties and we were all supposed to be playing outside, it would be like fifteen kids in the TV room with MTV on, and we would all just to be silently watching it, and like it was so revolutionary and so amazing to be able to watch music and like like take it in that way. We were obsessed with it, so like it is it is like mainlining culture.

Yes, absolutely, and it was the way everyone everyone spoke through the lens of MTV. I mean it's also like when TRL started, it was like it changed everything because that was just mainlining culture that was watching all the hottest music videos, listening to the all the new movies that were coming out, all the you know, interviews with people,

So that's how I got it.

A Christian artist on TRL.

Yeah, I mean she wasn't like like an Christian artists, Like she sang pop songs, but like they were all very wholesome. Okay, it's it's like Jessica Simpson was quote unquote Christian because you know that she was wholesome.

Any grant for the older folks, she's the og.

Uh bringing making the crossover.

I kind of like your biblical stuff more, I don't know. I like the old.

Intersecular stuff, which was like raise him up, wear red denim skirt, do your ankles.

That's a lesser known.

Serve your man, your man, everyone's sleeping with the wives.

Those are the best hits my.

I kind of that's a hard thing though at twelve, because God, you had to like really figure some ship out for yourself. Because like my sister is a first grade teacher and she every year has a whole classroom full kids who on the first day of school speak no English and on the last day of school speak perfectly English. And that's for like, I think it's one of the things she loves the most and is the

And especially in New York City where I mean, were you when you were a kid just hanging out in the city singing for the first time, like the.

In the streets.

On that cab.

It's just because I feel just when I visit there, I feel like, oh, I got to catch up with this city, motivating to be there, but I can't. I always think about kids that grew up, Yeah, what was it?

Like you know, it's so interesting because like when even in high school, like because I'm from Queens and people in New York City are so bound to their borough. Like, no, if you were from Queens, you were never hanging out in New York City. You were never in you were never in Brooklyn, you were never in the Bronx. You hung out in Queens. You found places to hang out

Because that's the one thing I realized every time I visit there. As as far as service area, it's not a big You can walk across the all of New York City and but it isn't Yeah, you would stick to your.

Yeah where are you from? Originally me Montana? Montana was like it was beautiful. I mean, I go back now and I feel lucky. But as a kid, I was I was.

Bored, and it was a lot of hanging out in basements and drinking too early and snowboarding.

Uh.

I am jealous that you grew up in New York City.

I want it's interesting. It's interesting because like for me, I always felt very jealous because I never had that sort of like I don't want to say small town vibe, but like, for example, I never had lockers ever, and that was like a big regret of mine. I was like, I want to go to a school where they have lockers. Oh, none of the schools that I want to have lockers. And I was furious, Yeah, well it's cubby shit. You know. My high school didn't have a sports teams, you know.

Oh.

I was like, okay, well, okay, weird. So I didn't have that that whole like sports culture thing. My college didn't have any sports, and greek life was banned in my college, so we didn't have like fraternities or sororities. I think that's for the best, absolutely, but I always think, like, what would it be like to go to a school, you know, that sort of stereotypical school. Yeah, lockers and sport you know what I mean? Like Friday Night like style.

Yeah, yeah, I remember seeing there was when I was like fifteen, on the cover of some magazine that wasn't that was a very famous national magazine. I want to say that it was like on par with Life Magazine, but Life Magazine was already gone. And I'll never forget. It was like the typical American teenager. And there was this girl sitting at a table and her mom was handing her a muffin and she was like like bangs and blonde hair and you know, just looked like the

Right. Also, you're fixated that thing that you never got to do that you thought was so essential to for me anyways, an immigrant kid, so essential to American culture. Yeah, because my whole thing was just like, oh, I'm here in the US, I am one of you, right, And there was always something that was like, no, no, not quite no, No, you're a little too gay to be an American. You're a little too brown to be an American. You're a little too weird to be an American. You know.

Here comes twenty twenty three. We're like, that's how you got to be, that's the best way to be.

And finally it's probably those coping with those things is why you're funny.

True. I mean, I guess, like the I think the requisite to.

Be they were in the right.

It just was a horrifying It's the scariest corner in all town. Is proximity to the scientology. Also is back, let's watch an Eli Roth Horne doctor.

Whatever.

No, but I wait, what was saying.

I totally forgot it was you were talking about the.

Basically, I think with being comedians, the requisite is having a point of view, a perspective, and I think there has to be some self awareness and I think being on the outskirts of society or like feeling like you were not completely a part of it sort of geared your brain into analyzing the world and how interesting the world works outside of your perception. And that's to me

Ye, you know, and you kind of have to.

I feel like I was doing the same thing, and it's that feeling of like, oh, you don't think I could be on the cover of this magazine being receiving

And you think about that girl with the blonde bangs and you're like, wow, what is your life like?

Yeah, you're like, what is your life like? Being the subject of so much hate from me?

It must have been horrible.

I don't notice you've had bangs? How did you start at UCB in New York?

Then I want here?

I did. I took a class in New York and I was terrified. I was a okay, So my story is I was a professional dancer. That was like my past life.

Wow, and what kind of jazz? Hip hop?

Modern? Modern contemporary? But I did. I still do some hip hop, but as a dancer, I was terrified of performing, and especially when I was you know, out in the world auditioning, we had to like, you know, freestyle and that was like the most paralyzing thing. I can learn choreography, but asked me to come up with choreography on the spot. I couldn't, so I would like not book anything, and it was freaking me out. I was like I need to get over this stage right thing.

Oh wow.

And my friend at the time, Christian Jacobs, who I call Chopper, was like, you should take an improv class and I'm like, no, I don't think so like, that's not really my thing. I don't know about that. He's like, no, it's okay. There's all kinds of people take classes, like you know, there's lawyers and then there's you know, stay

And it's great.

I left and then but you know, after that one class, I was obsessed.

Well you left, You left the class like you couldn't handle it.

Yeah, I couldn't handle it, but I was obsessed because it felt like a magic trick to me. I'm like, what do you mean you can do whatever you want? Like how is this possible? So for two years I just like was I went to see every show. I was just like obsessed with it. You studied it, study full of study, his book, all of it, all of it. And then after two years, I was like, maybe I should go back because like I feel, I feel like

You know, did you find your people there?

Absolutely? I found my freaks. Isn't that a errative?

Yes? It is.

You got to find your freaks no matter where you are.

That's so.

And that was a big thing about moving to LA because I had my freaks all like, all squared away in New York, and then moving to LA, I was like, I don't know anybody.

You just had a printed out pieces of paper with the photos of all the freaks.

And then I'll never forget you.

Did you freaks?

Did you go to the the UCB That reminds me of a high school and I imagine there being lockers there, but I think it.

Closed on sunset?

Yeah?

Yes, yes, I felt like every time I performed there just doing stand up, but I felt like everyone goes to school here and their arms across because they were they They're judging what I'm doing.

They're not are you serious?

Yeah?

I always felt there, specifically the one on Franklin I always had.

That's some of my best stand up memories.

And yeah, La, but but it seemed like at school, it seemed like a comedy high school.

Well, also, it was almost like the audience was in a set of an audience like it always looked goofy as hell where it's like why are all these people in these weird blocked off areas. Yes, and it looked like it looked like the Star Trek like panel of judges that we're gonna be like you have to go to the isolation planet.

Well, I think also with it just was like such a quote unquote real theater space that like, the audience just felt so far away from you, and anytime you were performing, you were like, is anyone out there?

Like?

Why am I?

What?

Do I feel like? I'm screaming into the void a place in Franklin, everyone's closer. You feel like, Okay, they're fucking on the stage, literally on the stage, grabbing your feet.

I loved it.

Yeah, it's great, but the Sunset place just felt so removed. It just felt sore.

Do you teach now?

I teach at Actually we're about to drive past the training center, one of the training centers at uc B.

I did. Really, it's over here, right here.

It's it's uh, it used to be a bar, remember bar classes that were hot.

That's what I was thinking about the whole time because I got my hip replaced, and I hesitantly it started taking bar methic. Oh my god, so it's the only guy in there, and I felt yes, uh, And then it got to the point where it's like, hey, you're getting good at this.

Would it became amazing. It's something I really was enjoying.

But then I moved over here and that was the only I'm like, Okay, eventually I gotta go there.

It's funny to think.

Would you ever do like ballet?

I don't know that I want to take on.

I am already like, get too interested in things, and I spread myself.

It's a bad thing.

I but I'm weird and I have to get good at things, and I'm I have to. I finally quit playing billiards because I was getting all sucked into that world.

No, I can't add dance.

Wait, how did you get into the first place.

Well, it's it's code for I would stringing too much. But yeah, Little Joy is right by my place, and I was going there a lot, and I've quit drinking and so I stopped playing pool. But I can't add dance to the men. I do want to go to bar method again, though, it just reminded me of you.

Can't because the ucb's in their training people.

I know you can do bar at the UCB.

Oh, yeah, can go there with All my characters are bar based.

Here's the bar you know, perfect form. The characters are just barbages, all the different barbages.

Chris, we've seen the skifts before. Yeah, we don't want to do that, but here's another bar. Have you ever thought about the barbage? That's actually nice.

My bar instructor has sent me a birthday card with note like you made so much progress, We're so proud.

Of you, like they were.

It was.

I was in with that. It was like a little family.

I didn't expect it because I just went there to deal with a therapy issue, like yeah, hip therapy.

That's kind of Yeah.

That's great though, but for you it's even greater because now you're teaching, but also.

You're going kind of back to your dance roots with your bar method.

Right. Yeah, it's in the rooms of the temple.

The smell is still there.

Is the bar up on the wall? Are there any mirror?

Lind?

Now they that all away, which is like, what the heck, what's the.

Point point, Well, do you ever do hot improv though all the time?

Yeah, gotta be funny and sweating.

What's your favorite part about Los Angeles knowing that it sucks for sure compared to New York.

I don't think it sucks. I don't think it's.

You're not allowed to contradict.

You can't think of the ocean.

Please don't argue, or I won't drive you home. Kick me out of this car.

What I love about I love My favorite thing about LA is that there's so many hidden, weird little places in LA that if you like dig enough, you'll find yeah, you know, and it's it's like ugly. There's like ugly places to laye. I love discovering some like bizarre little bookstore in downtown La. Downtown was like the ugliest place in the world, you know, pretty rough. It's rough, it's rough, but I love it. I love how like it just reminds me of like pre Jiuliani New York City, do

Yeah, in this area especially, it's I love being able to walk. I used to live at the beach and it was like, well, I gotta drive everywhere. I guess I'll hang out.

I can go.

In Marina del Rey, and I wish I didn't realize that I was missing out on this whole city.

Are you a beach person?

I guess I was for seventeen years.

But now being over here, I feel like I'm much happier.

Have we all seen the full moon yet?

Where is it?

If we wait long enough, a witch will stop silhouetted in friving.

I mean that's crazy looking.

Yeah, that's that's a cardboard, that's a lamp, that's a prop.

It doesn't look real. It does not. So what does a full moon mean? Like? Right, like there's some significance.

The sun is completely behind it.

Oh, I meant like you know about our energies or so, right judging by judging by this hen right now, none of us.

Should date scorpios. I don't know much better.

I dated a Scorpio for seven years. I know.

They're crazy, right.

They're just you know, you know, you know they're the cool thing about Scorpius is that they're loyal and they're horny as hell. That's fine, right, but they are vengeful typically. I don't know if y'all are astrology.

I release I like to be, but I don't.

There's certain signs I don't know about because it's not it's either not my sign or I haven't liked a person with that.

What's your sign?

Taurus?

I love a Taurus? Do you I love a Taurus? Wait?

Would you say your sign is?

I'm in aries? Oh yeah, what's your sign?

I know nothing about it, but I know when I tell them when I say mine, people go, oh, and it's Aquarius. Apparently it's the most hated. It's they're lying to you.

Aquariuses are fun, You're weird.

People only got negative what like people exhausted with me already?

No?

No, because I'm selfish. No, I'm an artist or what. I don't know what it means.

I know any time I read about them in a horoscope situation, it's like, yeah, well that's true.

That's true too.

There's something to this, but I don't have time for it. I have to play billiards.

Wait, do you know your other two year rising in your moon sign?

Yeah?

I know, I'm you're the rabbit. I don't know.

I am a tours sun Leo moon Sagittarius rising.

Okay, right, a lot of fire.

A lot of like please, ma'am, keep your voice down.

Action, Yeah, out closed.

I don't know.

I don't know anything about this.

Well, yeah, that's it.

You would have to kind of be into astrology because that's all the stuff if or be on TikTok, which that's how I learned. Oh really, because at first it's like, oh, here's I'll read your tarot cards, but also it has to do with your horoscope, and then they start doing things of like actually your sun sign isn't even about your personality. You need to know your blank and it would yeah, it would just kind of like change.

Months to month. If you need to know you're this, you're that.

Yeah. I mean it's all a scam, you know, but it's fun to think about it.

I mean, I sure do buy a lot of hair products and makeup on that thing telling me what my tarot reading is just like, ah, I'll buy more makeup.

Fine, It's like a leo, like eyeliner, whatever comes up.

They're so good at doing it where it's like the first thirty seconds is like, guys, I'm so tired today, and you think a joke is coming. You think they're going to tell you a good story, and then suddenly they just start putting on blush and you're like, oh, I need that.

That's I need that.

It's an astrologist person.

Well that that's kind of a I'm an exaggerate. They usually don't combine that many things, but sometimes they do.

When I started in Austin, Texas, and there was a place that was a it was a poem reader.

I think it was a couple.

Uh so one of them read palms and there was like a neon palm on the other side. It was a used car place, and so I always thought it would be like they're, oh, your lifeline, I see in your future a slightly used Chevy Burretta or whatever. I always thought that they had to and I thought that's the.

The ultimate power couple.

That's the best way to sell cars is to see it into someone's future.

Convince them that you have.

I will say, I have a really crazy story about poem reading. Yes, so I okay. I have to preface this story by saying I've had a recurring dream since I was five years old, yes, that I would fall off a cliff. And as I'm falling off a cliff, I always think to myself, I never made it to my twenty ninth birthday. Okay. I'm walking down the street and some lady stops me in the middle of the street. This is like when I was twenty two, twenty three and she says, I just need to read your poem

You have a.

Guardian twenty nine.

And I was like what and she's like, you haven't guardian Angel Looking up for you, and I was like, okay, this is too crazy. And then she's like, come with me, and I was like no, no, no, no, no.

You're wearing a necklace of human teeth.

Your hair is literally snakes.

My right arm has turned to stone. That's so because I say I'm not an astrology person or I don't not believe in it, I'm just I have no interest in it. But you think I would be After a similar situation like that, I was with a friend and a woman was coming out of a bar, not the method, but a drinking clay and she said, hey Aquarius, Hey Scorpio as she rocked and we both I was like, are you a Scorpio because I'm an Aquarius? Like we figured it out. Whoah, you fully live in my neighborhood?

Wait where do you live right around the corner from here?

What? Yeah, we neighbors. We are crazy.

Wait, just as a big finale anecdotally, did you make it past your twenty ninth birthday?

I did? That is also a really crazy story that I've told a billion times. But what not dying? But okay, so you know, like I thought I was gonna die, but blah blah. So I book a commercial where I have to bunge you jump, and I'm terrified of heights, right, But you know, when you're like struggling and you're like figuring it out, you lie and you say, yeah, I'm an.

Ext berday and you were twenty eight man.

I was twenty eight, yes, so I was like, oh yeah, I bunge it up all the time. So I book this commercial. We're at a park in New Jersey. They're like telling me what to do. And my birthday is April twelfth, Okay. We shot this commercial on April fifth, on my twentieth birthday, about to turn twenty nine. I go to this park and I'm like, I'm going to die. I'm going to die here. Yeah, And I'm fully like, okay, now I have to do I stop the commercial and

I've seen it, do you know what I mean?

Or And my dumb ass was like, you know what, I'm just gonna never mind, let's just continue. And if I die, I die, you know, I'll die exactly.

It's not just gonna come along any day exactly.

So I'm you know, fully being like, okay, this is the dam I'm gonna die. I make the PA take a picture of me, being like, okay, this is the picture that the newspapers are gonna share. It's on my Instagram. So if you go on my Instagram, my picture is there. And right before I go, the rangers come up and they're like, hey, what's going on. Do you have a permit for this? And they're like, yeah, we have a permit. They're like no, no, do you have a bungee jumping permit?

Holy shit.

And I swear, I mean I swear to god. I stopped having that dream afterwards, and I was like, holy fuck, I didn't get my SAT card that day, unfortunately, because it was in fact canceled.

But you also didn't get your big death.

That is the most amazing story.

That is incorrect.

It's wild, you know, and you know, like, you know, do I believe in the sort of Juju universe stuff? I have to. I have to because this insane thing happened to.

Me, you know, after that.

I mean, that is that is beyond wild. And also it's all those facts. But the idea that you went, fuck it if I die, I died.

Crazy is like I was willing to die for this stupid Oh my god.

And it's true.

They when I bungee jumped, they asked your weight and everyone had a different length of bungee and one girl lied about her weight and her friend was like.

Oh, you don't lie about your weight for this thing. It's important.

Like I think she normally was just undershooting it. Sure, but it is very that's so scary.

You gotta know this. You got to know these things.

I love that.

I'm so glad you're alive.

I'm so glad you lived to thank you. This was delightful.

What are telling what fully We're emotionally affected by that story.

It's the best way to close this episode out.

Do you want to plug anything? Do you have anything?

Oh? Yeah, well you know you can watch Minks on Stars.

I love that show. I'm so sorry we didn't talk about it. I love it.

Thank you so good, Oh, thank you so much.

I like the main guy is he's my favorite person. He's so what is it about that guy?

Do you like him?

Of course? I love everyone on that show. Okay, it's a dream.

That's very professional thing of you to say no, but.

It's really, it's true. It's true. I would. I would. I would give you the tea. If there was someone I didn't like, I would. I was straight up tell you M I n X, M I n X. It's about the first female magazine, Erotic Magazine, based on Playgirl magazine from the seventies. I played the photographer Richie, so I take pictures of lots of pen and there's a lot of penis on the show. Yeah, there is a lot of penis on the show.

It's such a it's like it's a really good cast. There's the main woman. Sorry, I never know anyone saying the main woman is this British actress and Ophelia such a good actress. I was so excited to see her when I was watching that and you bond Jake Johnson.

That's the ex ser for guitar player.

Yes, yeah, Jack Johnson.

Jack, that guy sings.

Yeah. So watch Max on Stars. Watch Dicks the Musical, a twenty four movie. I'm in it is there? Uh is there?

Peece in the Dicks like Private Dicks.

Dix is like there. It's about two guys who are It's a musical. It's a twenty four's first music. Oh wow, it's very fun, very stupid. And you can follow me at osimo o z z Ymo on Instagram and X I guess it's called now.

No you're gonna get off that ut a whatever? Yeah, exactly across.

And that's called the full circle Moment. Yes it is.

You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D y n a Hong Kong. This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Analise Nelson.

Mixed by Edson Choy.

Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff, artwork by Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar podcast for.

More information go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Thank you both. You're welcome