S4 - Ep. 19 - James Adomian Pt. 2

Are you leaving?

I you wanta way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gagy a.

We want to send.

You off inside.

We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it. We scared her?

Was it fine?

Mal porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do your need you ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Hi? Is this still thee? Let me changed?

We we were actually yelling about have you liberals?

Now? Have you ever gotten in the wrong uber or lyft?

I've done, but I've had someone.

I'd let someone into my car in front of the old UCB because I thought it was a la.

Guy wow, and he thought you were the uber.

Yeah, but he got in the back seat.

Now I did that to someone and he was terrified.

Yeah.

And then another time in Austin, I was picking up the girl, my girlfriend at ATB, the girlfriend at the time at ATB, and I was waiting for her, and there was car in front of me that looked like my Mustang and she just got in that.

Car and the old guy driving.

Start. He just started driving.

Neither of them noticed, and I was just laughing, why is this happening? And they got to the corner and then she finally got out, and boy do we have a laugh.

I like somebody that's saying, oh no, but sure, I'll give you a ride.

And then he just starts grabbing at her.

Yeah. Well, she's like a Betty Boop cartoon.

No, we don't do this anymore.

He was from a different time, a simpler one.

Come on, sweetheart, we just won the wall.

Didn't And that sounds like my voice, so she just thought it.

Was me, grab her, grab her, grab her again.

James, I need to tell you this is something I remembered when you went and did your errand is my dad used to send me all of your Mike Lindell's sketches from Kimmel And he couldn't understand that it wasn't actually Mike Lindell, really he.

Thought, he thought, look at him melting down, Why would he do this?

And I'm like, Dad, I am telling you it is jameson dummy and I know him personally, and he was like.

It's crazy, this guy. He's making full of himself. And I'm like, no, it isn't. Actually, Mike Lindell.

This problem happens with my great uncle as well, who's alive here. He's always like, we want to tell me when you're going.

To be on TV.

We would love to watch you, and then I usually forget, but then once in a while I'm like, hey, by the way, yeah, you can tune in tonight. And then if I get the complaint the next day, we watched the whole show and.

We didn't see you. And then you're like, well, no, you saw the part with the pillow guy. Yes, I disagree with.

Him, and I was like, well that was me. Oh well, they should have made it clearer that that was you.

That's not the point.

The point is that it is unclear.

Arguably, though he's right.

If I was better at like the show biz, i'd yeah, the point would be, hey, that was me.

No, I disagree.

There is no I disagree in characters.

I think there's probably a lot of people that I think that's really him.

I think you have single handedly taken down the maga trend.

Because I need a right that's for sure.

I wish I heard that.

I wish mentioned I hold on, I'm on the top of a.

Glass You look, I'm looking through the clear roof of the thing. It challenge.

Hold on here, I just came down. I was trying to get out of Hollywood. I heard the strike was happening.

I'm not.

It looks like I'm on the top of a glass bottomed boat. But it looks like there's a touch of car automobile underneath. Is there a way I could swing around and get shy the darn thing?

You get in here?

We loved shift boy flipping.

I haven't I want a bender, I said. I passed out. I passed.

I had a white out.

No, I had a white out to Saint Paul, and here I have woke up in central Hollywood. Jimmy Kemmel, Jimber, Jimmy Krimble mussy, he must. I think he whacked me out up in the Manchone. I brought me out here. Try to teach me some kind of liberal lesson or something.

What have you been doing since, you know, in the last Oh, gosh, I've.

Been up to everything. I lost.

I lost twelve billion dollars yesterday. Oh, the Supreme Court keeps telling me I'm wrong.

Let me tell you. The Supreme court's going to learn a lesson or to what I've done with them.

I lost twelve billion dollars and then I gave money to my charity. What's my own charity? I give money to my charity. I said it says I would call it a shell corporation.

But it's a pillow case.

You just shoved some cash into a pillow case.

Look, that's what my pillow is good for. It's not just for sleeping on. You can also stuff cashing. You can put bricks in and use it to defend yourself when the deal goes down.

Rock in the middle of the big park.

Have you been doing a lot of park deals at night?

Well, we just.

Got done with the state fare up there in between cities, of course, and boy oh boy, you could camp out there.

People don't notice it. It's halfway between Saint Paul.

Men.

You have plush you got you could camp out there, and they go, hey, who is this? You're not supposed to be sleeping here. You don't know. It's not me. It's just my pillow and a stick.

Okay, hold on a second. I see a low rider El Dorondo there and that's seven eleven. I think I could probably score from him.

Hold on, I'm gonna roll out of a moving vehicle. Tell James to get back in.

Oh he's already gone and we lost you.

James is back that I heard all That guy.

Is a lunius on drugs.

I was.

I was standing on the running board on your car. Oh good you have. I know it's a tesla, but you have an old fashioned running board for the valet attended.

A lot of valet guys just ride along like it's a trolley and announce the different intersections.

Remember when it was like a car was such a grand thing that like people would welcome.

It's a rival at a place. Let us let us stand on your car for a while and help you get out of it.

Yeah, kind of brings that back on.

My dad used to drive Volkswagen Bugs and we that was the thing. It was like, don't tell your mom, but when you came to pick us up from school, he would let us stand on the side of the car, stand on the running board and hold.

On to the rolled down window because.

The old ones did have a little running.

Board, had a little running board because.

They didn't change the design since the.

Third right exactly. Unfortunately, Yes, that's true.

So we used to be able to stand vallet style, stand on the running board and drive around the playground owned and basically do that for thirty seconds.

Then my dad be like, seriously, you cannot tell you I.

Used to call it a Nazi porch for your car. Well, that's a lot of people know that. That's so great.

It was pretty fun.

I love it.

I love I'm bringing it back. I'm gonna install one on my content.

I wish is there.

I mean, why do they have couldn't they have just changed the name from Volkswagen to anything else.

To anything else. Yeah, it's an unfortunate history.

Yeah, and it's even to buy one in German would be problematic because you'd have to be like ein Volkswagen.

Yeah, it doesn't sound good. It doesn't roll off the tongue the cheery way. We're gonna get coffee. Do you enjoy coffee?

Yeah?

I'm I quit drinking it for the most part. I do everything else. But I have decaf so I can have calf whenever I want.

And you can also have the cake pop rule.

Yeah, and good news, they don't fully bake it.

It's just a stick covered in lard, died brown are we going to field pick Mike up again.

He said he needed everything's on his stick once he scored, he needed a ride.

No, there's a there's another drive through Starbucks ahead.

Yeah you. Oh wow, that's how you've mapped this out.

It is. I'm sorry to tell you. I do apologize.

Oh boy, I love.

There was another bit that I don't think makes it into a special about because it's local. And when you record a team stand up special, everyone even agents you no longer work with, come out of the woodwork and like, don't do any local material.

Dead relatives rise from the.

Grave and go, well, obviously don't do anything about Los Angeles.

Yeah, because it's not relevant to anybody, right.

And then it's so so uh And then I get, what if I do an Atlanta joke?

Or are you insane?

So I did I have this like bonus joke. It's about LAX because I grew up in LA and my whole life. Everybody disagrees about everything. The city's fucked up. There's many things wrong with it. It's a broken city. No one agrees on what should be done, and that's good. But there's one thing that all human beings agree on, and that is there should be a train from somewhere Lax.

Yes, and that's the one thing they won't give us.

And when I was young, I was like, when I was twenty three, I've been an a I guess I've been an adult for twenty five years. And so when I was twenty three, they opened the Expo line. No, no, no, no, excuse me, the green line, right, that's what it was, the green line. And they were like, uh, well, they won't stop complaining about this trained Lax, so let's give them almost And we're.

Like, great, a train in law on them.

If you look at the Thomas Guide, it looks like it's gonna go to Lax.

Where did it stop?

It stops, It's still there, it stops and else Gundo.

A mile short of Lax, Yeah, one mile short of Lax deliberately, and you're they're like, well, don't worry.

You can go to El Segundo.

And it's not even walkable. That means you to have to go on that.

On one one mile through the pedestrian forbidden underpass.

Yeah, and it's on the wrong side of El Segundo too.

It's not the part where you would leave your wallet, like the warehouse side of El Segundo, so there's nothing even do there and it's El Gundo, so they don't have well warehouse parties because they outlawed fun and that.

I just want to say, you man, the two fans that are a tribe called quest fans happy. Yeah, it's yeah, it's basically like trying to walk over the Bay Bridge.

And then you're like, well, maybe I can work with this train to El Segundo. At least where does this train originate? They were like, nor Walk. There's nothing in nor there's nothing in Norwalk. I grew up here. K Cal nine used to be in Norwalk. And they got out and then their attitude is like how dare you? The Los Angeles Registrars recorders offices in Norwalk and all thirty of the people in that building can get to

Yes, and the.

Expo Line goes from downtown and you think it looks oh, it's headed toward west.

It seems like it's going to the airport.

And then you're like, halfway down, you can look out the left window of the Expo.

Line and you can see Lax. You can see it. You don't just see the airplanes, you see the structures. You're like, turn here on Lobrea and they're like, no, sorry, we're going to Santa Monica. Oh my.

And you're like, is there an airport there and they're like, yes, but real people aren't allowed.

To use it, only Caitlyn Jenner.

So it takes you even further away from l A M. Yes, it just gives you a visual attempt.

You're stuck in Santa Monica.

Oh god.

Which you know, if we here's here's the here's the punchline of the bit I'm doing material here on your podcast, then no, no, I know.

But that's why I'm making it more conversational.

They're really good at only a seasoned listener.

No, but then if we were to leave here right now and drive to Lax from where we are, we would cross over four or five trains that don't go to l a.

X and where.

Yeah, they just take people of Santa Monica to go to the mall like that is a priority. I wonder there has to be a reason why they want LAX to be difficult.

Well, they're building the train. I know they're building. They're building the train. They have like the construction going. But I think that it's a Potempkin village.

Yeah.

I think that they're just doing that for show, for the Olympics, just to get everybody here, and there's gonna be a bunch of athletes and dignitaries and they'd be like, sorry, it was just all cardboard and would we've just been stacking wood for twenty years.

It's gonna be Somebody was talking about that where they're like, when we host the Olympics, there's gonna be an influx of like two million people.

But also apparently we're hosting the World.

Cup right before that, like a year or two before, and then there's gonna be influx of like one million people for that. We're just like, how is this town going to work in any way when that happens?

Oh? God?

Can is the World Cup just gonna be down at like the new stadium?

I don't know. I mean, can we.

Could just just maybe oh fuck, I get a move.

Out of LA I know, I know it's not good. Everybody needs to come to the valley just for like two years.

Just ride it out, huh, write it.

Out over Sherman Oaks. It'll be fine.

Yeah.

That That's one thing I noticed when I moved here. There's a lot of things in Los Angeles that are just built to be like, hey, if.

You can't handle it, go back. Quit chasing your dreams.

Even the price of a parking ticket will be like, oh, I have to go back to North Dakota. It is there's so many things here that will make you go home. And I think that's why it's like, well people keep coming here. Why make it easier? And I think the airport access to and from the airport is the best way to keep people from chasing their dreams.

Yeah, they're like, we want you to know from the get go that there's a few things wrong about the city, that there's some very wealthy people that don't want.

To fix it right and don't want you here.

And they really don't want you here except that they're gonna make money.

I'm so confused Okay, you know you know now, Okay.

Found and you found it. Karenarens defeated our efforts to obscure our coffee.

Sure, Caffean eyn choices. That's just any that's any generic villain.

Yeah, some kind of some kind of hot dark made.

I see, she's four of us once again, my favorite men of your and I'm not making you.

The wrath of con.

There is a long letter in here, but I'm opening a gift card that I received in Boise, Idaho.

Your podcast guests write letters to themselves.

Jordan's James at twelve.

This is yeah, this is oh, oh, this is there's a lot of specifics.

Oh, it's a fan letter, and to you as.

Well, Karen, Chris guest on the least.

Uh.

They say you better be funny, just kidding. I know you will be that. They knew you were going to be on this, Jordan. So here we go. Here's the purchase card. Thanks, that's not what they're called. Here's the purchase card, and then my chest opens for a fraudulent purchase card.

Hello, I'd like to buy eight hundred dollars worth of coffee.

Please, do you have your purchase card?

Yes, it's right here. It's worth a thousand.

What is the maximum amount you can put on a purchase card?

The most I've gotten fort Starbucks fifty?

No.

I mean like, can you put like twenty thousand dollars in the Starbucks card and smuggled across the border.

That's what you were doing at the bank.

Well, it was it was like I was like, well, there was some you were parked around the corner. There were some alarm bells that went off.

It is so funny. That is probably a version of that money money laundering.

What does everybody want?

Oh? God, they have? Oh yes, gonna have anything you want?

James, Yeah, oh boy?

Can I get a triple tall one pump Moca hot and.

Then all the Grande coffee hot with almond milk.

And a Grande coffee with almond milk?

Uh?

Get a decaf latte with almond milk?

Can we get a grande decaf latte with almond milk?

And then we're done?

Well, I'm excited to see your special. I was going to go to the taping. I have a good excuse. I can't remember why, but I knew it went on. I had an alarm go off.

James, you really go to the allsion.

It's funny. Nate Craig, our buddy was there. Always loves my old, my old seven years so funny, no notes, so fucking funny. Check this out. Got a bit of mine, so I could do better.

You know what's I've always known, but I haven't always known it. I learned because he was in the same house for seven years. He's very good at impressions, but he doesn't like that's just hanging out.

Have you noticed taken morph into people?

Sure, yeah, yeah, but a lot of people just don't do things in their acts.

Right, Yeah.

I believe in it.

Yeah, I can't stand behind it.

Yeah, I can't talk one of these types of guys on the stage inside of assuming some voice.

When I moved here, there was some I can't remember who.

It was like a new manager that kept almost by sending me messages and voicemails telling me I need to start doing characters. And it made me uh no, but he definitely knew her. This is I'll say her name after we're done.

This is a character that Nate and I do with each other, back and forth. It's like the California guy. It's like a deep California Beach. But he's just from any anywhere in southern California besides Hollywood or Beverly Hills.

This guy's from Okay.

Oh actually, hold on, this is Oh there he is, Yeah, this is he should get in here.

This is my buddy bro Me and he also knows Nate greg.

Sand on his feet.

Dude, what's up, dude, Serishly, you guys are fucking legends.

Dog, you guys are fucking legends.

Fucking driving around, I listened to the fucking pod, Dude, I'm from fucking I'm from fucking Seriously, I'm from Rodondo. But like I got cousins up in Manhattan Beach, like fucking everywhere. Dude, I wasn't Thousand Oaks last week, dude, fucking working on my truck, fucking trying to fucking raise my truck.

Got to lower my kid. Dude. You guys are fucking animals.

Whatever they're putting in the water, Dude, you guys are fucking huge.

Jude. I was with my buddy Eugene, and he's.

Got fucking cousins in all five covey he got he got Corona in Corona, dude, because he's fucking working, he's fucking working he works at he fucking he works at this factory where they take hats and they flip them backwards on people's head. And he got fucking he was in Corona, and he fucking got Corona. Dude, I had, I got Pomona, Corona.

Dog.

I know this guy, right, Yeah, there is.

Anyway fucking I gotta talk to a buddy over here because I gotta fucking I gotta fucking figure some ship out. But you guys are welcome to come by anytime. I'm just right where the ninety crosses the one oh five right there by, like Tyler's Surf Shop and Burger Sharks.

Dude, sick, sick, fucking keep it up.

Dude, do you have a little bit of chop in the works hearing?

That's detail work, dude, that's.

You wouldn't even fucking believe it. That's just fucking that's just a you know what, h you know, a nun a call? Yeah, yeah, So I fucking quit. But I got a fake drawing there. It's just a pabble I fucking picked up at this construction site.

Dude.

I think this is my bird scooter picking me up. So I'm gonna fucking get out and catch my bird. Fucking sick dog.

I can keep it real, dude, keep it real, for sure, for sure, for sure.

That is so many people that actually lived near that apartment we shared.

One guy had.

Like two limousines that we're supposed to blossom into a business.

Did you ever see the leopard limousines in that?

No, there was a this is a whole scandal, yes, because he like defrauded people living in them or something.

What.

Yeah, I think Nate knew someone a girl.

I've heard the story that.

Yeah, that, Uh, he left the sky roof.

Why do I the moonroof the sky roof, I'm from another the sun. Let's just the sun and not the whole sky. And also this girl's ship in it because he was funny and the guy was an asshole, but he is do.

He tried the wrong thing, so she got up out through the sun room.

Yeah, he basically he tried the wrong thing, and then they knew where he lived. He like abandoned them, Hey want to ride in my limo, and he took them to a party, left them, and then when she's back in the neighborhood, she.

Saw the limo and she shot into the sun.

Room, which because it was sick. It is super sick.

This guy had like four or five limousines that were like or more that were like leopard print, yes, and as his branding and Leopard limo.

And had to move them every street sweeping day. And they're not easy to park.

And it's venice which is built over like the canals that they filled in.

It's not made for cars anywhere.

No, there's no garages. There's no stacked garages like in New York City where he his part.

There's a few drowned people down there that we just built the road right over.

I saved his business card and believe it or not, it's called Leopard limos And uh.

Was the business card in leopard print? Yes?

Good?

Yeah, yeah, And.

So that's what I would have said as a consultant. And then why do I have a leopard print business?

Got to yeah, he he had that business failed.

I want to see him screaming at an auto body shop and going.

Like, it's fucking Cheta, it's fucking Cheata.

You ruined me. Yeah.

The leopard ones are more of a black horseshoe shape with a brown dot in the middle, whereas cheetah as a.

Fucking Look at this, I'm running a fucking business, not cheetah choppers.

All right.

Yeah, he thinks the animal and then finds the vehicle.

It's very difficult business plan.

He's like, well, back to square one, and it's just it's like a whiteboard of like different cats, different kinds of vehicle.

Yeah, he retired with beach bike because that's the last time we saw him. He was just walking a bike around with no tire and ripping roses out of our rose bush.

He had lost his mind.

There's nothing we would want to be cute to take Calco car hop into a Calico.

Car's only six dollars on the skift card.

Oh, they're like, ma'am, could you pull around to our secret driveway and answer a few questions than you?

Yeah? About the Starbucks card, Yeah, there's starbards.

There's suddenly there's like Starbucks security that shows up like at an airport.

Remember you all throwers to be using his.

Pike place regular coffee with almond milk.

I believe that's me.

Have you been drinking coffee today?

That's that's been the most exciting part of Thank You.

I'm not Oh that's I think. So you.

Guys, we are in a moving vehicle with an entire podcast recording equipment underneath the coffee.

I know, I I know you you're skillful.

Oh that was great, Jesus.

I thought someone was honking on the horn.

It's the honking hour.

Yes, I think they were honking over there. But I'll put this in my door. Thank you. I forgot I left it up there.

My brother once had a great idea and he said he wished that the cars could have like an unhonked when you realize that the person was not wrong.

Oh that's great to be like, Oh, sorry removed.

Have we ever talked about your brothers. I'm so fascinated by the adn't brothers. I've met zero of them.

I've met two of them. Oh yeah, and they're different from James. But one of them has the exact same voice. And at an old house you stayed at, I slept on the couch and he came in and I talked to him for like a half hour, thinking it was James, but just thinking you were a little off, like because we weren't riffing as much.

Yeah, yeah, there was no funny.

This back and forth isn't as good as I see him with like Josh Fadom or whatever, because you and Josh Fatom would pretty much do the most watchable.

I miss him him.

Yeah, he's I think he's still in Oklahoma.

Really, he did.

Our podcast during COVID from Oklahoma and it was so delightful. Just like, man, I feel like those are the people I definitely never appreciated being around them in the comedy world.

And it's like, oh, right, these are all the people I.

Get to be around, taking for granted, taking for granted, and then it's all kind of just gone.

Yeah, I don't know anyone. Now everyone went home.

And now we stand on the ledge of the future.

Yes, we the survivors, the community of what not, what.

Should have been? What? What is?

We did?

It's a science fiction story inspired by the works of Ein Ran.

It's all about me.

Get your torn clothes and stand on the cliff.

And read me.

First, your brothers live in Los Angeles.

Two of them.

Yeah, I've only met too, probably the ones that live.

Here, but they swap places sometimes.

Really, Yeah, there's always one of us that doesn't live in LA It was me and it was another one.

There was another one.

When there's an odd man out, where where does he always go?

One of my jokes is when I do like an Armenian show where Evan, I go like, I'm a quarter Armenia, but I have three brothers, so together we make one very unconvincing Armenia.

I had an experience in the Starbucks one time and there was an Armenian I would I think I'm safe calling him an Armenian gangster of some kind. He could have just been like in a really nice tracksuit with a very large necklace, or he could have been involved in some crime.

I don't There's also like, yes, there's also like gangster fashion.

There's gangster fashion. There's just like yeah, there's people or opposers. Who knows. But this guy was intimidating it tough. He looked very tough. It looked like it seemed like other people were intimidated, and he was being so like, let me get you this, Like he was paying attention to me in a way where I'm like, hey, I'm wearing boot cut jeans and no makeup. I don't know why I am drawing your eye. And then I was like, this would be the best movie.

In the world.

It's like the Armenian gangster that like falls in love with you for no reason and then so like, sir, I don't I can't live this life with you.

You are pitching so many good ideas today, and I'm sorry that.

I mean another green light.

You need any kind of Armenian representation, good or bad?

Yeah, right, well this sounds good.

Yeah, I like that one an unexpected and also.

You know it could the discovery could be, Hey, just because I'm wearing a tracksuit doesn't mean I'm a gangster.

Yeah, he's like, I'm dentist. I have a great practice. I noticed.

This is why I love it.

I also run track It's very appropriate that I'm wearing this.

Those were I don't know actually if they were a medium.

But the guys in tracksuits that hang out in the grocery store parking lot on Vermont, No, those are the guys I missed the most during quarantine. I was like, man, I would just love to see them just one more time.

They're there. They're back.

Thank god.

That there's a corner where a lot of tracksuit whereing men.

Hang out out between the Albertsons and the coffee Bean.

Yeah, it's just they.

It's like the the I guess it would be the.

Northernmost part of the parking lot.

They kind of park their cars all around each other and then like discuss things, smoke.

It's great.

Yeah, sometimes I try to hang out around the edges, like the wrong kind of pigeon, trying to hang out with the other birds.

Just poking your head around a little bit.

But you know, there's like different kinds of Armenians, the different time periods that they immigrated here.

Oh really yeah, so there's old schoolers.

Yes, there's the different waves of genocide created different like immigration waves.

Really is that's totally serious?

Yeah?

Yeah, wow, Yeah.

The oldest ones came even before the genocide to like Fresno and stuff, when they were already getting persecuted and stuff. And then there's like the Persian Armenians, the Lebanese Armenians are meetings for Turkey, and then uh, since the nineties, the Armenians from Armenia huh and that's uh, like other recent immigrants are like highest dancey, that's the word highest on is the word for Armenian, and so the highest dance the Armenians are the ones that are the recent arrivals and can you.

Spot the difference or do you know it well enough?

I'm not great, and sometimes I wait for people to self identify, you know, because sometimes you're like, oh, this guy's poor skaha, and you're like, oh, no, I was wrong, he's actually Armenian.

Armenian.

But you can tell if you know what to look for, like the way the music, the dress.

Sure where they put their folding terear on the sidewalks and like, well there's like there's like class differences too, about like how American they are for how many generations they've been.

Oh that's interesting.

Yeah.

The only thing I can do that with I can tell when someone started skateboarding really yeah, if I'm with.

A group, like like what decade they started?

Yeah, you can tell by what tricks they do?

What?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Well nowadays everyone, even young people are so well rounded and do their homework on YouTube or whatever. You can't even tell they do tricks from all eras. So now I have no specialty.

What is the what is like a dork the dorkiest old fashioned kind of skateboard tricks someone would do?

Oh, I do a lot of them. The I really do.

I'm not kidding, but oddly they come back into fashion.

Like see you doing it?

Yeah right, yeah, I'm setting that, you bet.

But you did enough evangelizing in Venice and now you're up.

Yeah.

No, it was very unpopular my pressure flips in Venice, But now they're coming back and the kids are doing them, so I'm back too.

A pressure flap, a pressure.

Flip rather, yeah, the rather than the momentum, like you're flipping it off the ground, you kind of you're it's you pressed on on it, much like you would play titty winks.

You know what I mean?

Do you know what tittaly winks is? Where you press the side of something to make it flip.

Oh yeah, dude, I heard you guys fucking talking about.

Dude.

I practiced that up on the fucking up on the fucking powder too, Dude. I was in fucking I was in fucking big Bear. I was fucking half tube. I was fucking half calf, half calf, half tu fucking bomb shredding down and I was fucking I was fucking six wings outside of tubular. And I fucking let me tell you, dude, there was no powder in fucking Arrowhead. When I was done, I fucking shot it. All over from Big Bear across the leg to Arrowhead.

Dude.

That's fucking sick, dude, I started back dogtown z boys, seriously.

That yeah, that's the one thing that I think slam.

If someone starts slaloming, set up up some orange cones and start slaloming with feet side by side, like how you ride a scooter appropriately, that would be the only thing where it's like, what's what's this guy doing? That's an old old Yeah, that's that's two schools too many schools.

Ago, dude, I fucking rough rugged, I do fucking rough rugged outdoor fucking snowboards. Uh in the all season dude, fucking hot weather, dude, no wheels, just down the brush dude, Oh high style like in the woods.

It's happening over here.

That's a bubble car of course, Uncle close, Okay, there's too much.

You gotta go check out this fucking bubble on you guys. Fucking sick. It's just like fucking burning man.

It just says the bubble bus and there's a website.

What a what a weirdo driving around with some gimmick.

Out that's my favorite. We realize it later.

Uh yeah, that it's so interest spring when the thing you're offering is just that you exist. My website is about Yeah, I'm in a I have a van and bubbles come out of it.

Yeah.

Do you want me to drive to your place?

I'll drive to the intersection where you stand from us.

For a small fee and a handful of liquid detergent.

I will anywhere.

I just want to congratulate James on your space work is so strong. The ust character that when you knocked on the window, I was like, I know who's back. I know who it is based on the knock.

I'm not kidding.

You said that was so realistic, Like anyway, yeah, ten.

Years ago, he's riding along on the fucking footboard.

I I almost I was in a panic, like we hit a deer ten years ago when Jesse Ventura was on the.

Roof and it was horrifying.

Yeah that was.

And when you listen to it, you can it really sounds like you did good fully work. You should be old timey radio show punching meat.

There's what you want to hear of the transmissions as anyone here, the transmission as a't coming through, I.

Can hear you he's here.

What kind of vehicle am I in you. Someone opened a portal. Someone opened a portal.

I was.

I was offline, off grid the moment I plugged in the mode, I downloaded my consciousness into the onboard computer.

It's coming through the spear. It's just like a foundation. I live inside the vehicle. Jesse face.

It's got to establish the foundation a third party.

It's a Max Headroom version of Jesse Ventur's face on the iPad.

On the iPad. That's a fix to the Tesla. That's fantastic engineering. Man, God, it's amazing how much Minnesota can you handle in one podcast. I know there is a difference. There is a difference. People say, oh, you can't do it, Jesse Ventura impression simply because Mike Glendell is.

Sucking up the oxygen. So let me tell you something, good boy.

I've been in the ring. I don't just fight with cotton, I felt. I fight with leather and turnbuckles. Nobody knows what a turnbuckle is unless you've been in the ring. From the Twin Cities, Yep, Twins turn turn Twin City turnbuckles. I'm from outside. I'm from I'm from Moose Lake. Does get it wrong. I was mayor of Brooklyn Park. Saint Paul is a dump. Saint Paul is a piece of garment.

There's a nice mall there though.

Look, I don't need a moll. Why would I need a moll. I've hunted predators. I've lived on the edge of death.

What have you been doing lately, Jesse?

Well, thanks, I'm glad you brought it up. Thank you for asking. Well, as you know, the two party system is broken. That's a given. That's a given. You've got two wings of the same bird. You've got. Let's you've got an office space and a modified garage in the same general building that's being put up for sale. The left hand does not know what the right hand is doing, and that's really difficult when you're trying to put somebody in a suplex.

What I've been doing is sitting down with people, community by community on a listening tour, where I sit down with them and I just make them listen to what I have to say.

Are you changing hearts and minds out there?

I don't what do you What do you mean Karen, that I'm supposed to change a heart in a mind I don't need. I don't need anyone's heart and mind changed. I am Jesse the mind Ventura. I had my heart blown out in the jungles of Central America in nineteen eighty five by the original Predator. It was cybernetically re engineered to allow me to run for public office. I'm a former governor. I am the body. I don't care if people change their minds or hearts. I don't mind

Mcmahn, do you still talk to McMahon.

I don't talk to ven Spicmahn. That's a valid question. I don't talk to vitz Spicmahn. You know why I tried to unionize the wrestlers. I tried to bring them together. And you know who ratted me out, Hull Cogan. That's why I'll never talk to all Cogan again. Either ratted me out. Vince mcmahn fired me that day. He fired me from wrestling, a sport which at that point I had not personally done in over fifteen years. I was only an announcer. I was fired from a sport that

Jesse.

I feel like you would really actually be the answer to a lot of the political strife that we have today if you were still in Well, what I like to do.

Is just dangle in front of the country and go, look, I'm still thinking about it. I'm four years older. I've said this five times already. I might be running. Am I running?

There's no way of knowing.

Yeah, what ticket would you run?

It?

Would you be? Why would I have to running a ticket just to get access to all the states?

And yeah, I suppose you're right, seem like, yeah, you know, you'd make your own partner.

You can win.

I have experience, you can win an election with twenty eight percent.

Of the vote.

That means I don't even have to be on the ballot on half the states.

Well, I totally vote for you.

Well, you wouldn't be able to because you live in California and I have no intention of getting on the ballot in California.

But we're going to win it anyway. You only need twenty eight.

It's sterling when Jesse Venturist says your name.

Look, I served in the underwater demolitions team with a kill Gariff. He was a monster, he was a beast. Let me tell you.

He put the kill and kill Gariff. I see it in your eyes.

Oh Jesse, we're so happy to have you in the car again.

Well, you know, I don't mind writing passenger. I'm just I'm heading from a Robert Kennedy Junior rally. Oh no, or I was just standing in the back trying to steal focus because we have largely an overlapping audience, and I'm heading currently two a Mary Anne Williamson rally, where I'm going to do exactly the same thing. Oh God, I I think I'm right. I don't think I think it's I think I'm just asking questions. I don't think there's anything untoward about asking a simple question. You're a

We go, oh god, oh sure.

I'm not in the special.

I'm not talking to James Adomian either, of all. I'm done with it. I'm not talking to him. I let him go and if he comes back back and I'll say, no, Jose, you will. We're not not going to know more friends with benefits either.

You guys are such a good pair.

We're not going to trade wrestling moves just because it's lightly homeboy rioting.

No more of that. Those days are long over. He cut me out of a special. Why because he said it was too much Minnesota. He said what he said was Jesse. He sat down to me and he said, Jesse, why are you in my house? And what I said was, look, I heard you're doing a special. I want to be in it. He said, how'd you know? I said, how would you know that? I didn't know? I said, I know.

Look.

Look, And when I say look, it means that I don't think that they're looking at the situation correctly as it is, and they have to look at it the way I see it. Yeah, I said, look, you need to have me in the special as a third party option, neither a setup nor a punchline, but a liminal space.

And he said, Jesse, I'd love to.

There's nothing I've done that's more popular than my impression of you. He said, Jesse has opened so many doors for me. But you're simply not in the news at all. You're not relevant in any way. Why I can't There's no way I could brute force jam you into a stand up, specially without.

It looking like a really ham fisted at tempted a man. Remember this guy, And.

I said, and I said, you son of a bitch. I said, you, flammy jobber. You look like you're made of yesterday's muffins. Look at that body, I said, look at that body, McMahon. Even when I don't talk to him. I still haven't drammatically. I talked to him in a grammatical rhetorical sense.

Look at that body on a McMahon, I think you, miss McMahon.

He looks like an egg McMuffin. God fell off a bird scooter. Well here I am, yeah, here, I am. It's stuff.

It looks like some red people ready to listen up on the left here.

Yeah, it's the it's I do some public service here.

Nice.

It's down at that. It's down with that fine and died. It's the five and dime five and died.

He needs to pull over. Okay, not at all.

I'm a Navy seal, and what that means is I'm not really a Navy seal. I'm u DT Underwater Demolitions Team. It predates the Navy seal in the same way that the Anglo's accents can be said to predate the current bridge. Well, there it is. There's my destination. It's spartan massage and spot. I'm jumping out here we go. It's time to tell them how to do a massage the right way. You'll find the bullet holes and you're working out from there.

I think he's such a coman companying his way down back.

He downloaded his consciousness into the tesla and then he got physically out of the tesla.

It was like this, It was this blue light that happened on the sun roof and he kind of materialized.

Wow, he just kind of turned to a giant salamander.

He is a powerful, powerful presence that man.

Yeah.

I don't know if you can see this, but he's uh, he's he's he's eating.

The raw dough at that pizza restaurant next to the spot.

He's not going where he said he was going. If you listen closely, you can hear him from here.

The thing I love the most about Jesse Mantures I never watched wrestling. I've literally seen him talk four times and that is one of my favorite things that you do.

And you aged him exactly nine years from the last time.

I was just lightly older.

Yeah he sounds a little. Yeah, he's a little congestic, Yeah.

A little. That is the thing.

There's different eras of Jesse Ventura. Yeah, there's like young as the announcer in wrestling where he's it's.

Like, wow, look at that move right there. McMath.

He really put that. He taught him. Who's submissive and who's dominant? And then now and then there was Governor Venturroo was like, I'll tell you, everybody could shut up. I don't care how beloved somebody is. Garrison Keeler could get stuffed. I'm Minnesota now.

And now now he's like he's like he's older and he shaved the mustache and he's he just looks.

He looks like when you see him now, it's like.

Uh, I look like the guy at the Laguna Arts Festival that makes the tied eye shirts. I look like I have I have an ayahuasca retreat. I don't need to do it anymore. I've gone down.

My path because he's a ponytail.

But I'm happy. I'm happy to guide looking. We're looking to find their shot.

You just look, Oh my god, oh I love it. Yeah, my jaw is sore.

What if you named the special? Uh, don't look for Jesse Ventura because he's not here, right, something like that.

I feel like, what would that? That's like, that's a that's a this. I mean this in the sweetest way. That's like a Mike kaplan. The Special is named after something that is not in the Special, as it were with an asterisk and a further title at the bottom of.

Languages math. Oh oh that was highly enjoyable. Damn, how are we doing on?

Uh?

Do we wrap it up without doing the drop off? That would be ridiculous.

Ring, that would be great. You know what, we ran a different kind of podcast that you know.

We gotta get that studio here.

Give you Actually we can continue with you in the car.

Well, we're close though we are closed. We're moments away.

We're cruising up on the location of the We're in restaurant heavan right now.

Yeah, and look Little Armenia.

Yep, welcome to Little Armenia.

Thank you. Do you have anything to plug as a wrap up? Is there any topic you want?

It's perfect.

Yeah, obviously I have a stand up special that it is self produced and also I'm going to pass on it.

And so that's so interest.

You can do any it's d I y you can do anything that a network can do, tru true.

So I can.

I can give myself notes and then when I address my own notes, then go, oh, you didn't address your own notes, and then use that as an excuse to pass on my own project, just like a network or yeah, sure, so that'll come out at some point in this.

Fall, and and do you think you'll put it on YouTube or probably.

You we've talked about just putting it on USB sticks.

Throwing it out an airplane.

It's not a bad idea to give someone a hard copy.

That would And but then but show up like a cyberpunk future where you're like and have stage some like laser cops to arrest.

You and be like and be like, this is the truth and.

Throw like fifty USB sticks out and one person will pick it up and like, listen.

To it the truth.

But then I have to get like laser taste.

Yeah, that's gorilla street marketing.

I would see.

I'm giving someone a really good idea because I don't have the budget to do that.

Do the RoboCop, so do not pick up any you don't pick up any of the USB sticks.

The universal.

The Universe system bus must be returned to its whiteful orders.

You were in possession author comedy. It's the future.

That's well, that's a great plug.

So yeah, that'll be that'll be out soon or censored. And here we are in Little Armenia. Appropriate it's appropriate at the moment. I want to plug uh. A couple of charities given the crisis happening there.

Yes, sorry, my sister's calling.

You see, they don't let you talk about Armenian stuff.

That's the crisis announcement alarm that happened to me when I was on CNN two.

She actually works for the government.

So backstory, catch Up attacked Armenia and ethnically one hundred and twenty thousand people from art SoC At this moment, they're still forcing out tens of thousands of people a day, and nobody knows who's surviving and who's not going to survive. Yet they had a kill list of four hundred people. There were thirty thousand children forced to evacuate.

No and.

Some kids have died, elderly women, men, and also many have survived and been forced into suddenly forced into the neighboring country of Armenia because it's illegal to enter Azerbaijan if you're an Armenian person. And so they've been putting this line out in the media where it's like, no, we could be trusted to have an Armenian minority, but also we did don't acknowledge the previous genocide, and we're going to kill people when we get out our hands

I would just ask people to educate yourself, follow what's happening. You can always follow their media network and all these I'm gonna name are on Instagram because that's I feel where people go.

Their media network z our Tonk Media and this is all spelled phonetically, believe it or not, their media networks our Tonk Media, Armenian Alliance Bridging the Borders a NCA, which is the Armenian National Committee of America, many other organizations, Hui Riggs, GALLAS, which is the gay and Lesbian Armenian Society based here in Los Angeles.

And there's many more organizations and everybody's helping each other. And there is a.

Charity push for i think it's called All for Armenia. I'm gonna double check. It's linked on the Instagram page. It's a joint fundraiser that people are doing on Instagram. It's basically supporting the refugees and survivors of this genocide that's happened in art Sock in the last two weeks.

And much like the first genocide, so many people don't know.

Yeah, it's kind of bizarre.

Yeah, it's all for Armenia and it's a coalition of a bunch of different charities. There's a fundraising link on my Instagram and I'm trying to put it out in other places as I'm able to. And yes, the media coverage has been abhorrent. Yeah, and non existence. The New York Times there was a nine month blockade, starvation blockade yea Turks of Azerbaijan cut off Armenia artzok can refuse to let in any supplies and periodically cut the power

Is that part of what it's about.

Oh?

Yeah, there's a very lucrative pipeline from Baku to Sehan in Turkey and what's now Turkey used.

To be Armenia, not Turkish.

But there's a huge lucrative pipeline that they built in the last twenty five years, and it's an oil pipeline taking Caspian Sea oil and gas. There's actually three different pipelines, but they run right next to each other.

And they take.

They're owned majorities owned by BP, British Patroyum, and then the other shares are Chevron and Shell and I believe SOCAR, the Azerbaijani oil company, and then a couple of other ones. So another thing you can do to help Armenians, which also helps you help the world, is boycott BP, Chevron and Shell people.

Nobody ever seems to want to do any play.

Yeah, but yeah, the same the same forces that are killing the planet are killing the Armenians's happening at the same time.

Yeah, that one is one that you can do.

It's just don't go to BP, don't go to Chevron Mobile, don't go to Shell.

What does that?

What does that leave behind? Maybe RC, maybe maybe Sinclair. Maybe you need an electric car like a Tesla.

Hey, I want Sinclair to be an Okay, when they have those the little dragon sculptures, it looks cute.

I haven't looked. I don't know if they're.

Good or it looks cute.

They're also killing a ton of peoph of course, it's the way of the world.

But ideally, you know, just.

Get out of your cars if you can stop driving. And you know, if you have a lifestyle where you don't drive much.

And occasionally you need.

To get a ride somewhere, have fewer people who offer those services like this podcast.

Do you need a ride?

Who are there for you know, last mile service for people who don't usually drive but for a while.

Sure, I'll take a ride car.

It's all electric and we only take two hours to bring you to the bank for a simple.

So what if it took two hours except us James, though I've seen you on Blue Sky because I can't be on Twitter anymore.

But I tried to get off, but then I was in the process of getting off, but then this Armenia crisis happened, right.

And I've seen you but on Blue Sky mostly posting about this and just going wow. It really bums me out that James the domain seems to be one of the only people or one of the only any place that is.

Talking about I don't like there are other people talking about it, but you have to like follow the people I'm reposting and stuff, and there's there are great journalists on the ground doing work who are there many Armenian journalists, many who aren't who are who are very close to what's happening and following it.

But yeah, I didn't want to do this.

It's like, I know it's not funny, and it's like I have fans and stuff, and you know, when your ears are burning and you're like I can tell people are like this sure isn't funny, and it's like.

I know it isn't.

I'm sorry, but also an a human being and no one else is talking about it.

It's important. It's important.

So you can blame the Turks for me not being funny about the latter day Armenian genocide.

Well, I like not funny James Adomain as much as I like funny James.

I like, I'm trying to get looking for an exit strategy, you know, on the industry, and that's.

Not what I'm turning it into.

But I really I mean it, and not in a conclusionary way. But we are in front of her place.

That's nice.

Thanks for dropping me off back here in Sherman Oaks where I live.

I miss you. I haven't seen you in so long.

I know it's been a while.

It's nice to see it.

It's great to see you. Care. I know you don't look at the road for a second.

I know, just for a moment.

Back of the head or nothing.

James don't. He doesn't want you to see the stars crying.

He's crying.

He's trying. He's like, you get out of that car. It's good to see you too.

I don't miss you at all.

Well, thanks, Do I keep the microphone? No?

No, they're expensive. You've been listening to Do you Need a Ride? D Y N A R.

This has been an exact play right.

Production, produced by Analise Nelson.

Mixed by Edson Choi.

Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett, artwork.

By Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar podcast.

For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Thank you, Oh you're welcome.

I'm so glad to come together in Royde, share in public transit, in small, locally sourced podcasts.

We must come together in the interests of Ronical Transpower Fund.

So that once again the bottom ninety percent will be able to have an equal playing field against the top one percent of the top ten percent of the top two percent of the let's say, five of seventeen percent of twenty nine thousand.

And that's just pure map.

It's hard to visualize.

You were right, You've always been right. Bernie.

Yeah, sick.

So it's his mic still on.

Oh I didn't even I'm that loud. I didn't even.

You know, it's okay, it where it'll still work.

They're good mics.

That's why you can't believe it.

When I was born in the late nineteenth century, they handed me a loudspeaker and I said, well, thank