S3 - Ep. 8 - Gareth Reynolds

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we.

Want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send.

You off inside. We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgariff.

Hello, my friend, we've had a little break. I hope you had a nice holidays.

I did. My family came down here. What did you do for Thanksgiving?

Oh?

I just went to this neighborhood flophouse with some sweet people that made amazing food. Maybe the best Thanksgiving food I've ever had. Okay, but I should have left with some of it. There's no way they ate all those leftovers.

Did you know these people, Chris? Did they know?

I went last year, same group of pals, neighborhood friends that are all orphans and U and it was great.

What did you bring?

I didn't bring a lot to the table. To be honest, I brought some tequila.

But I, oh, that's huge for a lot of people.

It was huge for me because I think I'm the only one that drank it. But I was going to bring like a side salad. And she did say, we have plenty of food, and boy was she right.

There was more than enough. Should have put some in my pocket.

Did you tell anyone else you brought tequila or did you do the thing where you kind of kept it down by the side of your leg.

Oh, it was requested either bring a salad or some beverage. Some adult beverage, I believe, was the phrase. And I went for the ladder. And we don't need salad.

I'm saying, did you let anyone else have tequila?

No?

I kept it in a bag and I kept it in a holster that I made for and I wore a long jacket. So you know about my Thanksgiving trench coat. No one's taking No one's taking this for me.

Yeah, I didn't share it all right, your selfishness trench coat, Yes, keep it all inside.

I shared.

I shared, and it was a wonderful time and we did the traditional thing where everyone went in a circle while the food was in front of us, and we said what we were thankful for.

And boy, I really blew that one.

Usually I do pretty well with the you know, prayers and grace. You know, I'm a spiritual man, but I oh couldn't think of anything to be thankful for.

I had to like make something.

Did you say all the delicious food that everyone else cooked for you?

Yes, that was basically all I said, thank you for this food, Let's eat it, you know, Jill, that's plenty.

What do they want the fucking ten hail Mary's come on?

Yeah, I think they just wanted me to open up a little, be a little more personal, and I just I'm so closed.

Not with that leather jacket. You can't it is.

A leather duster. Yes, you do know that.

When the shotgun underneath it. Yeah, I'm gonna go roll on the major holidays.

I'm gonna rob the strip club from Beverly Hills. Cop. Do you think I'm a nasty girl?

Yeah?

I am under this coat.

He's pretty nasty.

That's my uh cocking a shotgun sound effects? You know that I respect the work of the guy from Police Academy.

Yes, yeah, Winslow, Winslow, Michael Winslow one time I did. Michael Winslow was his person's name.

Yeah, his human name, his human being name.

I was on radio with him once and he did both. Robert Hawkins and I were on together, and we kept assigning him different food frying in a plant and a pan, and there was a difference between the bacon and the sausage.

That he did. He's very talented.

But the width, yeah he did. He did a thin sizzle and then a thick.

Like a love sizzle. Boy, he's good.

That's what audio is all about. Now let's introduce our guests.

I'm so excited. What a what a relief knowing that he's our guest today.

What a joy? What a light carry? This is going to be.

It's just going to be so fun and effort was fun riffing. See now I'm building it up, building it up.

Here's the thing. None of us have to wear leather dusters during this record. Yeah, that's what I appreciate.

We have nothing to hide. I'm drinking my tequila in front of you, have hidden it in.

Coffee that I made.

You know, our guest from the Doll Podcast. A lot of crossover fans. You already love him. He was a writer on Arrested Development, which I had no fucking idea. Everyone put your hands together for Gareth Reynolds.

Hey, everybody, a lot of pressure on this appearance, but I'm ready. And let's just say, Chris, what hilarious. That reminds me of the time. I'm sorry, there's a lot of pressure and I'm just not.

No, you're fine, right into it. You know it's funny. My step up used to call it tequila. Well I did.

I don't want to talk about a step Sorry, go ahead, Karen, you were you started, someone started, Let's go.

I swear you gout.

We may have gotten off on the wrong floor.

You know. Bacon sizzle, it's different than sausage.

We already talked about that. Damn it.

That's okay, It's okay.

I said it was going to be light and fun, and I'm already pissed off and off that.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Gareth.

Do you do many chat shows?

Yes?

You mostly do the doll up and then just kind of fuck off and do all your own things.

I mean I'll do some, I don't really do a lot.

I don't it's sort of like I don't get asked to do a lot, so I sort of play by those rules where if they don't ask me, I don't say, hey, I should be on and then I do mainly fuck off and do my own things.

Yeah, I subscribe to the same school of thought. Yeah, yeah, but I found that I'm being offered fewer things. And I think over time, if you don't ask, they don't they don't tell, they don't tell.

See, I told you i'd make this episode fun and light right away. No, I know, I don't get asked either. I definitely feel like people aren't like, hey man, please, that doesn't happen a lot.

It seems though, like you're doing a lot of stand up and I'm happy to see that because I enjoy when you do that.

Thank you and likewise, and I am. I'm doing a lot of a lot of stand up comedy. And let me tell you, people are over the coronavirus stuff, so.

Yeah, they're back to heckling. I've noticed from everyone's.

Videos everyone's gotten real comfortable, real quick.

Yeah, they are bath ready to chat.

It's showtime for fucking everyone.

Yep.

Yeah, But I've noticed a lot of because there is a lot of heckling in people's clips lately. No one knows how to act. I saw a group of friends the other day. I screwed up. I went to kind of hug one of my friends and I fully elbowed his wife in the face. Perfect, And then as a second thought, went for a high five and I linked fingers with him.

Wow, just like eighth grades holding.

The handstiff, yeah, and then yeah, and then I closed out. Third guy grabbed his fist when he went for a pound, So you know.

Maybe no more hand stuff for you.

It feels like just hands to hands to the side, go back.

To my chest pumps, yeah, chess bumps.

But I was working so well for you, Like, yeah, I feel like you had that down.

Everyone knew if you were entering a room, run look the fuck out.

Yeah.

I think a lot of people get scared because I am running with my chest out like angry pea cock.

It's a hard way to meet someone, it is.

Sorry, quick note, Chris, please write down or Gareth. I guess you guys can fight it out.

Sure, Chris, you should do this. I can already tell it's a better phject for you.

Just the idea that the way you went in the pandemic was not chess bumping, but chess to everybody that you meet.

Well, you know, I saw Fauci's talking about how we should start chest bumping. Yeah, that's the safest way to greed.

Yeah, ladies, stop pretending that you're not into this.

We're all making sacrifices. Ladies, we're chesting. I'm sorry, everyone, get them out.

We're making the bit work.

First of all, your arms are down, so your filthy, filthy hands aren't involved. Yeah, and everyone knows when you chest bump out of fear for knocking teeth with someone, you turn your face to the side, there by alleviating any potential Spittle's terrifying move.

It really is.

It seems like it's dangerous.

It almost is like a vintage Jansen bathing suit ad or something that you're just kind of up. Your chest is up. Maybe you're doing a bit of a thirties dive, but you also have like finger waves in your hair at the same time.

I'd buy that.

Whatever it's for, I'm buying it. Is it for chest bumps, I'll buy it.

No, No, it's more bathing suits.

I'm in I have money.

My point is none of us know how to act yet, and I see it in people's heckles. But when you do stand up in the clips, I've seen you approach even annoying drunk outbursts with kindness and you you do engage it, which is risky, but you you're nice about it, and it really works. And it's a reminder that that's what I need to do instead of shut the fuck up, as there's someone here that can kick this person out.

Because I also I would I would not show up in that duster with the tequila. I think that a stage presence wise, it's just a move. The people are already a little worried, you know what I mean.

Yeah, it's very dust till dawn stand up over and I think it's over.

Yeah, I don't know.

It just goes well with my I'm bringing the mustache back and everything because I feel like it commands authority over people. And a lot of people were walking all over me the last couple of years when I look like a hippie, I had no respect. A threesome would be walking on the or a group of three, not a sexual engagement of an orgy way.

Either way, I get.

I get approached on the sidewalk by one of these orgies, and they make me just I'm always it's just they can tell my face when I don't have a mustache that I'll go ahead and step off into the street into a fucking puddle.

You have to yield for orgies, Chris. That's not about you. It's some personal Those people are all I get deeply intertwined.

You're right, they're in the middle of love making.

On the sidewalk.

I've seen you go with that group orgy stuff with a chest bump, and I think it's that move.

Then is it's just not we It's not great.

Hey, I told you I need glasses. We said that at the top of the show. I can't tell what they're doing.

I thought they look a costumed horse.

They look a beige tenth.

Someone really opens up in here, way bigger.

Than it looks.

By the way, I'm in terminal three. Are you guys close?

Yeah?

Yeah, Well, thank you for letting us pick you up.

You're going to meet you you're near okay, great, we stopped pretending, Gareth. People know that we've what model is this vehicle? You don't have to pretending and don't mind if I do.

Yeah, and if you're going to pretend, please do it more realistic.

Got me all this burger king just you're picking me up. It's room so good. You can't all the difference between this and a regular whopper. You have that, yes, if you need it.

And then natural integration.

When we're done, we'll do a little uh foli where and you can win slow out some car sound effects.

Well, I actually in the most random crazy I one time was on a podcast and I just said as a joke that I did better sound effects than Michael Winslow, and it led to people tagging.

Him and I'm, oh, god, this is you know what I mean.

Sometimes when you see the tag, you're like, don't that not please don't help.

And he was he's not busy, so he saw it.

It ended.

We started dming and we started talking about maybe doing a fake sound off and.

Did he know that you were kidding?

And yes, I I had to be very clear to as soon as I saw people, as soon as I saw he noticed and that he followed me, I was like, hey, just so you know.

And then he's a sweet man.

We were going to do a sound off thing and it seemed like he was looking at it more like an appearance.

Then let's do something dumb together.

Yeah, but it did result in one time he left me a voicemail.

I missed his call. He called me from a random number.

I didn't know his number, and he left me a voicemail and that I do not have anymore. But it was crazy. And we talked on the phone once and it was also crazy. He was just like he was like or it could be like Yoda, like I do the phone, and I was just going, sir, I just try a little baked.

It for I'm just trying to have a conversation with this strateger. It was a police academy right in.

Yeah, we've all met these people that did stand up from a certain period of time on where basically that was the personality. It was aggressively, narcissistically and or just compulsively. Yeah, I don't know your act, your bits, your quote unquote persona all the time to whoever. And I think the progression of stand up, which I think is good in that way that lots of people are just much more natural and comfortable on stage as themselves. But I think

I think in his case, he's just trying, above all else give people what he thinks they want.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

But let's see a couple of sounds that Garrett.

I mean, you built it up so much.

Let's hear I don't know you're a helicopter.

Can I assign some Yeah, that's how I would like to do it. That's otherwise people think I have plants.

And that was random that I even said that. But here's my helicopter. It's very far away, but it's very good.

It's that.

Is that a helicopter on TV with the sound muted.

That's pretty good.

Here's what I don't love is that he's doing a pretty good one. I don't love that move. I'm the plant. Yeah came there. It was like the start of man.

I didn't want to blow into a microphone a lot of people. I learned that with my uh robot voice, which I'll do now. Sorry sorry, Actually, honestly, I think it's better for you to go.

Now. We need a robot driving a helicopter.

Yeah, what would that be?

All right? Bro bot? How's that?

It's a bit ducky, bro bought, Well, I do the duck thing. So it sounds like two voices at once. That's what I should call it. Here's the two robots, two voice because of one No, one's a robot and the others a duck.

And there and they're just saying stuff in unison.

Yeah, adults swim well, I mean that's what this podcast for. I think in a way I have an idea one of the ducks can be rich in swimming coins.

That's what I love that is you can tell you've worked in the business.

That's a green Yeah, appreciate it.

And it's not wet. It's just so many coins.

Oh it's not.

Well, then we're gonna need to talk about how what the coins are.

At some point I think they're no, it's like.

A ball pit, but coins.

But even for cartoons, I'm having trout. You're the artist.

But I again, I feel like I personally like the coins a little looped. But once we get.

There, yeah, yeah, let's make the decision on the day.

Let's do it on the day. I love that love Yeah.

Even as a child, I knew that when Scrooge McDuck dove into those coins, he would have broke his little duck neck.

You gotta lube the coins.

I think if there's one thing people should take away, it's that the coin should be lubed.

And by the way, that would sound.

Like, oh, that's the lubing process.

Of the coins. Because I don't want to talk about I don't.

Want to talk about it too much. I don't I don't like to dissect the sound effect.

No, you don't need to do.

I heard that sounded like junior high farts sound.

No, No, that was the splooge, the receptacle that does the lubing. And then and then that was the them coming out of the coin.

Well, they eat, they come out in bunches. I don't know if you're yeah.

Yeah, maybe not like a laundromat.

Yeah, exactly. It's like come out of where there's a there's an area, there's a there's a loubing hole. You know what, I'm gonna get chest buck if I'm not.

Careful in the coin pool. Yes, there's a.

Good Lord, there's a bunch of loubing holes. I can't get through the whole of it.

Okay, this is definitely a late show sound effects act.

Oh yeah, I'm last. I don't.

Yeah, you don't want me at the eight? Good lord, there might be kids there.

I'm at thirty. Yeah, that's what I'm farting coins.

Yeah, that's when I open for you and do my lighthearted helicopter.

Yeah.

It gets them warmed up. It really loves their coins. If you will, Oh, I won't.

I won't.

Let's get this audience's let's lose these coins and then afterwards I'm selling greasy coins.

You want to new coin is a coin, small sack of coin loop coins.

I'll sign it for ten.

Gareth, when's the last time you were at LAX. Yeah, you don't have to be specific about whehere you were going or anything.

Uh, that would probably have been well, first of all, I'm going there tomorrow morning, so early, but I would say it's probably been about I think it was maybe New Jersey. I flew to New Jersey from Lax probably about two months ago.

Oh okay, so you've been there in this bad construction phase. Yes, of insanity, yep. Where it really is the movie Children of Men, but at Lax, the.

Level of completely giving up that it feels like everyone in the airport has done I mean, this is like I did not have a high bar for airports before the pandemic, but this, it now is at the point where I'm like, I mean this like we just need bars and then it's a zoo I mean like physical it really is.

Like I also, I had.

Someone at my show because they talk about how they sanitize them. They're like, we're taking a lot of precaution. They have like leaf blowers with like you know, some weird whatever sanitizing fluid in its.

Exactly.

And and then I asked them one at my shows, a flight attendant.

I was like, are they doing that? And she was like no, because.

Every time I get on the plane there's like peanuts still on the seat.

Yeah.

So I'm like, how meticulous is this process where I still see like check crush checks mixed like in the little divots.

Yeah, they're just putting on a show.

Yeah.

So some people come in and just wipe the air with a rag.

They aren't even touching anything.

They're they're making cleaning sound effects.

They're just going clean clean.

Being rinky wrenky bean bean shine shine Yeah. Yeah, No, it is. When was the last time. God, you're good, you were there. I'm very good.

But you, Chris, don't downplay the robot duck helicopter thing that.

I can do the helicopter louder Karen do it.

Then if you can't, let throne, let.

Me adjust my levels. It'll be in a minute.

Here.

Oh okay, okay, wow.

I have bit in my mouth.

It's a little boggy.

Yeah. Like, take a moment to prepare. Just give yourself a chance.

Like I did when I lubed the coins. I took a beat, I got there and got it right.

Place yourself in the coin bath.

That's a problem with all my performing. I tend to rush myself.

Oh sure, I think they landed forts landing.

See Gareth knew that it was landing, So that was a great helicopter.

Had landing the two counties over.

I didn't. I didn't adjust the sound levels.

You see some foliage move a touch, but yeah, they're not in the same county.

No, it's like the super rich people area and like upstate New York where they all have like castles and then everything is four miles apart. It was a helicopter land on one of those.

Estates on the set of Sash.

Yes, Grammar's pad or something exactly.

Clearly we're all saying the same.

Thing to Grammar something like that.

The last time I was at Lax, it was nighttime. I was picking my sister and my niece and her friend up and they were coming from Southwest, and I was driving my electric vehicle that was that only had thirty miles left, so I didn't know if I was going to be able to get us home. And this electric vehicle is new enough where I didn't know how to fill it up anywhere else besides at my house,

Yeah, yeah, you got to jump over.

Yeah. So I call my sister and I was just like, no joke, I'm on like one percent in this car. You have to walk all the way to the end because I have to pick you up, and then we have to cut across five lanes of traffic so I can get into that, you know, like United Terminal five.

Getting anxiety cutoff past episodes.

And like right, and it's like, you have to get that cut off because if I got stuck in the long loop, my battery would have died mid fucking Lax because the traffic was so bad. It was literally like parked cars. And we made it, and we did it and we got home with no charging.

That was crazy.

It sounds like a good episode now, but.

I do realize you weren't recording this pickup, but I like the way it ended.

You guys can't just do regular pickups anymore.

No, I'm out always recording.

Did you get it? We could pipe me in a post.

I'll zoom you into the post.

Yeah, I don't. We don't.

We definitely don't miss going to Lax.

I paid uh more than two hundred I think close to three hundred more dollars just to fly out of Burbank, which I'm not bragging, but that's how much.

Hands like someone's loubing his coins.

I like to swim, all right, I just I don't want to go there.

No, I'm mainly Burbank.

I try to do Burbank every time, even if like there's a connection, it just it.

I mean they really, it just is.

It's been the worst forever and somehow every year I'm like, it's worse.

It's getting worse. Yeah, it's getting more somehow.

Did you see the story of the lady that got caught on the I can't remember what airline it was, but she got caught nursing a cat.

Oh, I just read that. That happened like two days ago.

With her human nipple, with her human Chris nipple.

Which makes the question can a man do that?

It doesn't, It doesn't make that question.

But we're all kind of curious that a man is a cat going to take a man's nipple and do that.

This sounds like it feels like, yeah, this is your crazy story.

Does it work on guys?

Yeah, Karen and I both are here.

Would a seven year old cats to be able to would you need to get a kitten to do it?

Or would an elder cat is to figure it out?

Almost said elder catsman, an elder.

Catsman, Senator catsman.

Yes, I'm awake, now what you want?

Did you or did you not nurse this woman in his little hammock? Yes, I'm awake.

I think this case.

Claused, that's what he could say because he's a cat, and other.

People like that.

I know you guys don't like wordplay, and a lot of comedians are above it. But everyone at home listening just really enjoyed. I consider this case, claused.

I'm at home listening and I'm loving it. I see, I love alter ego.

You loving every mid of it. But what what is going on in someone's head when that happens on a plane, Like you could do that at home? Like but you know, like I'm sure people do weird creepy ship, but to feel comfortable enough to have a cat on a plane, and then I've had gone through that enough times where you're like, an, I'm gonna breast me.

It's it's the being, it's the being in public that makes it so exciting.

Yeah, I think that's.

That's the thrill. You're right, they don't do it at home. They can only get off doing it on a plane. Two other seats in the.

Mile High Club, people fucking in bathrooms. They're at home they rarely have sex at home.

That's right.

They need to be up there, baby.

They need to smell up blue water in the toilet.

God, the water at the barbershop, you know, is it really? People know that same water, same tap.

I went to visit my dad in Montana, and I stayed for well over three months.

I stayed for a dangerously long time. But you for a while, you were you moved to Idaho.

You're back right, Yes, I moved to uh, Idaho for one full year like a sitcom pilot episode how to Go?

How was that?

Act three?

It was interesting, I'll tell you this. They like it when your lawn has kept really well.

Uh.

And you were not in Boise, Idaho, which is I was.

Right on the edge pretty much.

I was between Boise and Garden City, and and it was just like I was like when it was all when the ship was all hitting the fan. I was paying more in my apartment than I could for a house in Idaho, and I just was like, it's gonna this is gonna fuck things up for a while. So I just rented a house and I went to Idaho like a real like a writer who was like, I need to figure out a script, which was not what I was doing.

No again, I get it. That's actually a good way to sum it up.

Like you you were pretty productive in that in that scary house wherever it was.

Maybe, I mean, I was definitely doing shows like once a week, and I do think they really that in the long run, it did sort of help me just talk in about nothing for as long as I wanted.

There was some lesson than that.

But I also was just like just going to Hot Springs and just like chilling the fuck out. And yeah, I mean yeah, very like very lucky in the sense that I was still able to do do work from there and not need to go anywhere. Yeah, but yeah, I was really just like was super strange and super awesome. And the people in as you probably know from Montana, like the Californian Exodus, the middle of the country is not loving it.

Did you have a license plate with you at California?

Got it all swapped right away because I knew the deal, I even and I had a couple people who like my neighbors, who saw my California plates, you know, within the ten days that I didn't have the idols and they were they were coming over and like you know, kind of sizing me up. And I felt it very much so. And the guy who lived in the house before, Like the first day I came there, like, people are coming over and they're like, you moved, so Jack's gone.

I was like, yeah, Jack, Jack's gone. I guess I don't know.

You don't know Jack, Yeah, you know Jack?

And they're gone, Really well, do you know where he went? And I'm going no, And so apparently there was a beloved man who didn't say goodbye to anyone who left the house, and I just always was in his show and it never was able to get out of it.

They thought you were some California hit man and you took care of Jack.

Yeah, there was oh most I'm talking about five or six groups of people over the first couple of days coming over. Is there an address like that level of like I'm like, I don't know, I don't you know more than I do.

What if it was Jack from the Jack in the Box commercials just sitting in.

All the doorways were shipped like the international logos.

By the way, I was starting to think it was.

It really seemed like it was a house design for someone that makes a lot of sense.

You're just walking through keyholes.

I mean, if we only lived in the era where we could do a Jack in the box cribs and it made sense.

I just.

Jack from the Jack in the box being like, here's my better French fries, just full hack.

Yeah, where's my job at SNL seventeen years ago.

It's only hack when you don't when you do it the lazy way. But you could take that. You could start one place and then by the end, the head is off right. By the end, we reveal that the real Jack is Sean Penn or something, you know what I mean. We could really if we give this two weeks, guys, we can get some great ideas.

I can't wait to bring this sketch all the way to Lourene Michaels.

He will wish. The Sean Penn reveal is gonna be pretty big.

I think it's gonna be big.

I think that's gonna be pretty big.

And we're talking about Seanpenn twenty years ago, Hotter Pen. Yes, time machine Pen, time Machine Pen.

And this seems weird. And I'm not bragging, but maybe a little bit. You know who I've been told I look like twice in the last month and sayah, a young Sean Penn.

Whoa Yeah, someone said that.

I take offense because it's like, oh, because I got a big nose. But if you read between, if you just I think it's a nice compliment.

Compliment.

Yeah, he's a big movie star.

And Karen agrees, we bring up that a steal of Sean Penn and just figure out what's aside. Right now, if this is a.

Compliment, I don't agree. I just am like, hey, the people are saying it. Everyone's difference.

No, you're right. Now I see it, and now I get it. It's like, oh my god, is this jeffs As I look at Christal.

I think when they say young Sean Penn, they mean the one that's yelling is my daughter in there whatever that movie?

Is my daughter in there?

Miss Dick.

Remember when Billy Crystals sang this musical number at the Oscars and and he like sat and Clint Eastwood's lap and it was really uncomfortable, and he's going Miss Dick River and I was like, oh man, what happened?

Guys?

What? But let's take that and make it work. We have two weeks to rewrite this sketch for the Oscar Okay.

It's hard.

I feel really down about the premise so far, but I'll try.

Yeah, and it's it's Billy Crystal now that's casting it.

Yes, so not a lot of numbers.

I don't feel good. Okay, Yeah, for sure.

Current Crystal. He's going to insist on blackface. He's going to justify all of his Sammy Davis Junior characters. It's going to be incredible. It is, and we have to write around it. So we have to make it so that the fingers are pointing back at him and.

Not at the writers. I like the Jack in the Box one more.

It's not great. I sorry, I just need the money. Guys.

Also, we have to get this time.

I'm not excited about working with Billy Crystal in this capacity.

I'm not gonna lie.

I feel like there's gonna be a lot of ideas coming our way.

Yeah, well right, we have a file for his ideas. Yeah, we have to stay flexible. But I think this is a great teaching moment.

It's definitely learn something.

This is why this is the reason that I can't enjoy most entertainment is because if it isn't really good, I begin to watch it like I have to solve it. Have you ever had that experience where like I just start watching things of just like like this, this dialogue is so bad, and then I it's as if in some kind of like an inbox in my mind, I now have the assignment of we'll fix it. Like does this make sense anybody? Yeah, I guess because I'm being critical.

Do you think that's amazing? And I do sort of. Do you watch a lot of scripted TV? Yes, yeah you do, so I don't watch that much scripted stuff. So but when I was watching squid Game, I was enjoying it, but I was going, what's this? Where's the twist? What's my twist gonna be? And then when it happened, I was like this, see I could I All I could do was picture them like convincing themselves that this would this was good enough to see it through.

Yeah, I was just hoping the ending and the surprised this is a dream.

You didn't really watch watch this piece of shit? I did not.

I was like I'm so tired. I'm so I hated it. I am so I'm so tired of fucking guns.

And oh, you're right about that.

I'm so tired of guns and everything. And I'm not trying to make a weird it was just and the dialogue.

People were riveted by that back and forth.

I will say I enjoyed.

I enjoyed the some of the dialogue, the part where I was like, everybody, could we not have maybe taken another crack at this where the elite rich people in the mask?

Yeah.

Yeah, the off camera things were just like, oh, what do we tell them? It's nothing like that. Come on, let's buy a man so much money it's falling.

I felsted in Korean and read it and I liked it more.

Yes, I think that helps.

Yeah, it helped. It totally helped. I'm right now I'm watching this. There's a new and it's just on Netflix, but it's one I'm halfway through, and it's one of the best things I've ever seen. It's called the Power of the Dog and it has Benedict cumber, bunches of oats, cumber banch.

But cumber bench. That's a thing where I watched cucumbers from.

It takes place in Montana.

It's like a New Zealand movie, but it's I'm so into it, and it's just very subtle human interaction and you're it's like an edge of the seat thriller.

But it's just so far.

People talking, and I had to pose it a couple of times. There's no guns, there isn't even fighting. I I just highly recommend it.

Hold on. But why did you have to you paused it purely to absorb it and go thank you Jesus.

Because it was making me anxious, like a action movie or a bunch of gun play that is required and everything. Now it was it was doing the same thing to me where I'm like, oh my god, I can hardly watch this hush tone conversation anymore.

It's just good, very good directing.

I'm of course not explaining it well, but I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but everyone.

I want to see it.

I heard, oh yeah, yeah, And it's the Jesse h Plemmons and and Kirsten Dunce that were married in Fargo, so it's like them.

Still but and in real life.

Oh really, I did not know that.

Okay, oh, tea time is hot tea time?

Wow, I got none of us knew that.

They meant on fargo bitch, by the way.

That would sound like spilled tea.

Yeah, it's gripping at a high rate of speed off the counter.

Okay.

I think the subtlety your The difference here is your guys sound effects are so quiet that they're.

We're realist. We we like to do real ones. Yeah, we have that, we have that in the back pocket.

Yeah, we got duck Robot. Someone drown with duck by.

Oh this is ducking duck bot.

If we'nest listen to my new album duck bot coins.

Have you invested in loob coins yet? Because there I know that people think it's you.

Know, that's that's the one that everyone saying has got the heat right now.

It's got the heat. It's going to go up up.

Yeah, absolutely, no doubt.

That's what a bunch of guys and backwards hats told me.

A lot of heat around lube coin.

I do ethereum bitcoin and then most of it's in lube coin right now.

Good.

Yeah, again, I do reposodo and I don't know what were we talking.

About duck bots doc, but dock bat.

I was trying to look up. I just watched a movie starring Benedict Cumberbauch. It is not on Netflix though it was on Amazon Prime, and it was called The Electric Life of I think George Mills or Miles And do you know from the Victorian England there were those paintings of cats and it would be like cats in a kitchen cooking something and they had really big eyes.

Yeah.

The guy that was the artist that painted those cats. Before that cats were not household pets. What he fucking made cats were like rodent in the alleyway and he basically he had a cat that him and his wife adopted that was like in their area and they made it their pet and brought it in and loved it, and everyone thought they were fun looking insane. His wife

To wait and your things called the what's your thing called Chris power of dog boy.

So he's doing dog and cat stuff.

I think power the dog, power the dog.

You're right, Yeah, he's doing all this dog and cat material. Well he's not doing guns, and he wasn't English and this he he was a Montana He is like so many cowboy uh like tough guy cowboy that's only has that and they manipulate with it. He's so manipulative and the character is so and I know he's never ridden horses and been.

A ranch hand.

Did you man, someone who's spent time in Montana bumping chess?

Did you feel like he pulled? Is he pulling it off?

That?

It's maybe the reason that I'm appreciating it now I've oversold it. I'm appreciating it so much that on a more than a river runs through a level it is very Montana.

I don't even think they probably are. It's probably in New Zealand, you know.

But they's so good. He covered for it. He's so good, he really is.

And did what what is the one that I would maybe do a doll up on the one you're talking about, Sharon.

Yeah, you should. Actually, it's pretty fascinating because he it's so for some reason, I have no Wi Fi on my phone. That's fine, nothing nothing, no machine works that I haven't. It's so frustrating, but I from memory The Electric Life of Louis Wayne of Lewis Wayne. Thank you, I'm saying George Mills, Hey, I.

Got real powerful WiFi here from the neighbors.

Yeah, chess bump, virtual chess, thank you.

I'm still running towards you. People are running from your chest bump.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just want to.

Say hello to you. I know it seems a passive, but it's only filled with love. I've been sneezy. Come here there.

Uh yeah, watch that The Electric Life of def Lewis Wayne.

I will watch it. We're done with this episode.

It's good.

I'm not gonna watch it as quickly as Chris is, but I'm gonna try.

I'm watch.

This weekend. Maybe i'll try this. I'm sorry I didn't Saturday.

It would be better than Sunday, but whatever.

Yeah, sure, yeah, well Sunday's yes, Saturday, definitely Saturday.

I'll be finished by nine pm tonight.

You can go, Chris.

Yeah, Chris is quite a window to watch this.

By the way, yeaheah, don't have a lot to do?

Yeah, you do. You have to get on your helicopter.

There, he is like and quietly. I think you might have a sheet over it. It's very it's very cool.

Courtyards over, it's three to five courtyards away.

Lord, with the quiet helicopters, it would be a good invention. Sorry, I just had.

To know you're right.

But what would the loudest helicopters sound like? I guess the question. Don't you miss the old days, Karen?

Yeah, I sure did. I wish i'd been more grateful.

Yeah, I don't like those loud ass coal powered sky trains.

That's fair.

Will you tell us a little bit about the YouTube series you did in the pandemic with your mother?

Yes?

And will you do an impression of her if you feel it comes up naturally?

Start with an impression my mother? Uh?

For like, when I told her I was going to have lunch with a female friend of mine yesterday, this was what she did?

Oh? And has she uh? Does she is? She?

Is?

It? Is she single? And I go, no, she's married?

Oh all right, so very British and uh and basically you know, there was nothing to do during the pandemic. So I was like, and my mother's been on the dollop a few times and people like her. So I just for a couple of times, I thought we could just do these like little videos of me just kind of interviewing her. I'd actually thought of it a while ago because she would just tell me stuff and I would just always be like, not only fascinated by my mother's life as a child, but also as my mother

Her and her sister would be like.

I mean, you know, they're like in their seventies, would be like climbing over a fences go and get free potatoes or asparagus. My mother was talking about this asparagus like you don't understand, it's absolutely the best despair. And I'm going okay, and then I went sar and I had it.

I was like, I'll tell you what, this is really good asparagus. Yeah, you're not lying?

Is she in?

She's in Yeah?

Where you're England? Wisconsin? Right, Or is she in England?

She's she lives in England.

Was she ever in the States?

Yeah, yeah, when I was a kid.

Yeah, when when her and my father were still pretending that the marriage worked.

Sure, we all lived in Milwaukee.

And then when I went to college, she pretty much left, maybe like three years after I went to college, went back to England.

Yeah, was it?

And this is just a shot in the dark, but did she leave around the time you got your tattoo?

Don't know well to answer the time I question, yes, but I don't. I'm not really down to sort of try to connect these dots that haven't do it.

That's a are you guys? It's terminal three? How where is there?

We're coming up?

I see a car that looks like you guys. I'm wearing I'm wearing a top hat and a cape.

Can you see me?

Oh?

Oh you did? Yeah, I'm doing mainly magic now.

Yes, I took a back seat mostly magic for the best.

Absolutely. A lot of people feel really relieved by the move.

Can I ask the.

Question when your mom when you did your impression of your mom? Was your mom? Uh being? Was she afraid to offend you by being direct enough?

Yeah?

I think, well, I think she yes. I think she didn't want to be overt. But my mother's my mother's demurre is never like. She's not very good. She doesn't do that very well. I can tell where she's going. But she was definitely she didn't want to say is it a lunch date? But she wanted it to be a lunch date. So she was like, is she Is it possible that you could is she? Uh?

Do you sexually attraction? Do you have you? Can you kiss her?

Yeah?

Could you kiss her?

And no?

One would be mad?

I see.

Yeah, she wasn't worried that you were going to commit adultery.

She just wanted it.

To be if you could steer her maybe do it committed.

Yeah, you'll get in far too old, throw every kitchen sink this problem.

Does she want you to provide a baby?

No, thankfully my brother's taking care of that. I don't even think she's like wants it in any other way than she's just like, come on, weird man, find find some balance.

Weird man, enough with the cat toys.

My dad wants me to he wants another baby happening.

I'm actually I met one of your sisters in oh yeah, or Spokane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and she was delightful. Yeah, I'm so glad that you guys met. She thinks you're the best she was.

Is she single?

And is her marriage a rocky at all?

The problem?

Could someone sort of eeke into it?

I'm ever a long silence that can't be broken for some reason.

Oh, Goffey never shuts up.

I'm sad to say, Gareth that she is happily married and nothing is ever on the rock?

How'd I do?

How is that really good?

I thought it was great, almost like a royal element.

I can only do royal or drunk ex fucking like military Statham.

Guy, that's a great Sorry, that's a guy the chopper.

Yeah, not the pilot.

Yeah, but uh no, So she.

Very yes, very sweet.

But yeah, I definitely came from a place where she's like, you know, I mean, wants me to have someone. She's following that all. But she had a horrible divorce. I don't know what she's pressing me.

That she knows the difference, she knows the lack, she knows what it feels like. She wants her son to be happy and have a full life.

Well it's not happening if I can get my cat sucking for my teeth.

That'll be about.

Why don't you show her that cumber bench.

Yeah, I'll take her out to the cumber bench. I'll just have jose on my teeth.

Mother.

There's something I need to tell you. This has been going on for a while. Happy actually prove my friend's name was cat. Oh, this is perfect.

You should marry a cat.

Did you say this is perfect on purpose? Chris?

I did.

I didn't want to commit to the multiple.

Rs I saw in my mind.

You didn't have to. That's why that that's chemistry. I know how many rs are in this.

I know what the he's doing over there, and I'm yeah, there we go, there we have it. So I didn't, having not watched the series.

I'm sorry, can we should we stop her hand down? And you want to handle it? How do we want to handle this crisis of the episode.

Just a quick explanation of what you guys would do in these videos.

To contain it in words, but it's so vast. Basically, I would just in the eleventh hour come up with something stupid, like my mother had a hedgehog that she was feeding. Yeah, these were like the things. It's just this, these boring English things that just fascinate me, and I pine for my life to be sort of revolving around how do I what what should I feed the hedgehog?

Would just say the craziest shit.

And then the inside the behind the scenes of pandemics. I don't want to, you know, peel the curtain back too far. But my uncle, who's never liked anything I've done in my career, started watching his episodes, like to a point where family members were going like, hey, just what's going on, Like he would be showing it to strange so he like hollywooded out in his own weird little way, like it was all just so delicious. And it went on for basically a full year, and it

I love it.

That's so sweet. You got her friends on and she was surprised that they were.

There, My friends. I would like friends.

Of mine that she got flu your neighbor the Los Angeles.

And not you and not you.

Took a lot to get her here during a pandemic, but I wanted to surprise you with.

Your friend say hello.

She could have been on zoom too, but I flew around looking.

It's only two windows. Isn't that amazing?

Mom? She used to be two literal windows away.

Now, but now this window zoom zoom window.

Gareth being raised by a British woman, do you feel the meat welcome around like three pm to have a cup of tea and eat cookies and candy, which is to me the most magical tradition of that country and culture.

Yeah?

Well, certain, certainly the mid afternoon, Nash absolutely, and I stopped drinking tea probably about a year before the pandemic, and then not through the pandemic. And then I went back like two months ago, and I realized that I am English because it is alcohol, like I am an alcoholic. With tea, I can have none of it, but if I'm going to have it, I will be like funneling it, like it'll be like a binge tea session.

So yes, to answer.

Your question, I can't imagine not having tea around three.

What's that like, Chris?

Why sound like to not have tea around that tent?

It's just utter silence, that's exactly right, just like a helicopter if there's a helicopter.

In the neighborhood very quickly. This is how I knew I wanted to live where my family in England lives. Once when they saw a helicopter and they couldn't get over it, and they were all just like.

Oh, look at it, bloody helse fly it all over there.

Isn't he Oh it's so look at all the trees are all shaking. Listen to the wind blowing from the helicopter. It sounds like it's a force of nature, but it's actually just the breeze. I think I can't really tell the.

Chris, are you just putting your mouth on your microphone because I.

Can't do it into a mic. It's a it's a it's a live action trick.

Well, okay, let's book the theater. When Karen what, yes, do you guys have the show calendar?

Let's use think the theater.

I say, let's do End of Jan twenty twenty two.

Writer.

Yeah, Dynasty typewriter, Dynasty typewriter show. Oh god, Dynasty typewriter or a different typewriter.

Yeah, true, Legacy typewriter. That's like Santa Monica. That's the Santa Monica location.

Legacy. Just it's almost be fun just to open that, just to see what they do Whereica. It's way different.

Jamie Flan, Yeah, let's go, Jamie, you want to.

Cat it just turns into a knife fight. Oh terrible.

I do love that theater though. It is like, here's here's why I believe in me flam because he saw that theater and went, this is a perfect size for comedy. It is literally this very slight grade to the audience. The big it's a big size audience, but not crazy. It's just like a packed house. It's just a perfect theater for stand up.

It really is.

And it's also like it's cool like the backstage is cool, Like everything's just kind of cool. It's and they've got like a room with records and ship. I've spent days in there. Yeah, wow, like me in there.

Yeah, I think I'm pretty sure it's on it there. Hey, what's the best gig you've done? Like, where have you gone lately? Where you're like, oh man, christ Fairbanks should come here?

Well, my first gig back. And that's how I that's the way I know. Obviously Chris wouldn't love it. Christian do this one. Christ would be here. They have great people here. Christian come here. My first show that I had booked, it ended up not being my first show back because I I can't remember, but it was Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and I did one show and it was like I was there. I should have been

Yeah you don't wearing flower shirts the whole time in Kansas City.

Yeah, well that's but that's how I felt. Though I did want to be I was just like, you know, in Hawaii they have play like.

You just can't.

I've never been there before, but everywhere I was, like, in Hawaii, they have a lot of the food trucks, there's a central But wait, what island were you on?

I was a Maui.

It's so funny.

I always ask that and the answer means nothing to me.

Yeah, Oh, it means so much to me because I've never I don't know every island.

Have I mentioned this before a lot of people don't believe me. There is not a single snake in Hawaii. What no snakes?

That's right? Here was this one for four days?

Yeah, you're in the grass.

Che This is why we test.

But that is a gig. You should definitely do that Hawaii gig.

I'd never been to Hawaii, and I know Maui's like people, but I was like, holy shit, that was the best. Yeah, but you know, I was a Comedy on State. That club is the best.

Yeah, it's maybe the best.

Yeah, I would put it right up there, no doubt of.

All the comedy specific clubs.

Yeah, where this is Kansas City.

That was Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin, the capitol.

And then I was in Connecticut and it was let's just say, it seems like they don't get huge crowds where I was at. But they had these two enormous screens on the side of the stage.

Yeah, where they had me on.

This isn't that great.

It was, but I was like, there's like thirty people. I was like, we all, yeah, it's Madison Square gard.

Yeah.

Sure.

It took out a very sort of.

Like sad, like turn them off, please, please turn these off.

I had one I open for Daniel Tosh for years and they just wanted to see him and I would struggle, but it was good for me to be in like Vegas at a big theater and I would usually eat it.

Really but.

Yes, every time he has no idea on stage, he has no idea. His opinion is always well.

One time even I agree, Oh my god. I did very well and they very much liked me. And so I went to the top of the theater to see what was wrong and it Yeah, there was a screen that was zoomed in, catching every subtlety of a person's face.

And even if I'm at the Hollywood Bowl, you know.

Watching Van Halen or whatever, I'm watching those screens. I'm not watching the little blurry guy on stage. I'm watching the big screens. I think screens are great.

I thought you.

Said, Dan Halen for a minute, and I just can't stop thinking about it.

Got a brother that no one talks about a music.

He's like, he's kind of a bluegrass type of guy. Yeah, Jan Halen as.

Much as well.

Shit, we did a theater in Las Vegas that had those huge screens, and unfortunately I had bought a dress because George and I decided to wear wearing black dresses at our live shows, and so I wanted to be wearing a new black dress, and so I went and grabbed a dress and I think it was like the gap outletter somewhere, and I just get got my size, but I didn't try it on. So then we get there and I go to do the show and it is like rated.

Like r y oh, it's like a duili or mash or something.

No, just was a like a very deep v plunging. It was just strange, and so every time I would turn my head it was just like my huge boobs on the screen. I was like, says, I can't perform at this. I didn't want it to be this way and I'm not doing it. I'm purpose and there's kind of nothing I can do about it now. It was just it was so it was a nightmare.

Did you realize before you went out or when you were out there where you're like, my goodness, what's happening?

Oh? Before I was trying to do a bunch of stuff, like I was like, I need to get where the V stops. I need to actually bring that up three inches like it was because it's like it's just it's the kind of thing like a kind of a tall, skinny girl could completely get away with. But like you know, chesty girls learn early, like you don't want to be like, what's up Blos Vegan around Fairbanks?

He'll run right into that.

Yeah, you know, I like the buf.

The big ones, like Chris, I'm trying to do a live podcast.

You see me running, puffing out, I'm jumping. He ran here from La. Oh I'm I'm so out of breath.

But I sall have enough for the.

Helicopter for part of it. Yeah, that's like when you should have TVs. You should because you have so many people there. She was just like, do you want to see this guy you could see right in front of me, bigger there he is. If you want the bigger one, you can show him and it'll register.

Even sometimes when a comedy club you're performing and there's a monitor next to you with your name, I'm embarrassed.

Yeah, like, why is my name? Then?

I mean, we're really shoving me in their faces here.

And taking a strong stance about you the headliner, look at him.

Let him go, Chris, And there's his name.

Face it said Sean Sean Penn.

There he is.

And Chris, when did you cut your hair down?

Because the last time I visually saw you you really did something impressive over the.

Yeah, and I'm really the minute I cut it off and Karen was telling me I would probably feel better, my life got better. Yeah, really, Yeah, it's like a fable. Yeah, it's the opposite of Samson. I've gained my strength from getting rid.

Of the hair.

Now a beast if chained between two pillars, they would topple my friends.

What would it sound like the.

Dog was under there?

I hope that dog's okay.

I'm dying.

My last wish is.

To get air lifted out. Oh do you want to nurse a cat?

A conch with the human peanut butter of a high fruit grossed polume.

I have a helicopter.

Bring it in, kude, What would it sound like a helicopter?

What it sound like if a quiet helicopter landed on a dead dollar far away?

Oh? Have I ruined the episode with my helicopter?

We some of the hell are you kidding me? It's a genius rum.

Don't you pull this to tours ship with us? Chris, It's not happening.

Noakay, Chris, no way.

Well I yeah, it looks like you've been having fun out there, and I'm excited not to join you because that'd be weird if we both did the same show.

For you to join me, it would be a booking issue, probably.

Well potentially, but still. We'll have our name on monitors.

You could split sets.

Yeah, we'll have our name when they'll know what's up there because we.

Have exactly you each do twenty two minutes.

It's simultaneous, exactly.

I'll call Flappers and get this figured out.

Really honestly, we're really ready to go, and Flappers is the spot.

This is where we're going to launch this time, absolutely launch these guys too.

Quiet helicopter that would the back to back, like, I can't wait till he's off stage. I can do my d Danny Halen stuffed might as well sit as well?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love Dan Daniel Hayden.

It's Dan Halen.

I don't want to jump in it's Daniel Hayden's a different guy. I'm not allowed to talk about him on shows. Oh yeah, it's okay. You can edit that out. Put the chop, put a chopper sound over that.

At least that's.

That's the.

Yeah, And you can still hear what they're saying because it's so far away, it's so quiet.

It doesn't cover.

It sounded like bad audio. I fully heard him.

I heard him, and I was irritated. Is that how you censor?

Yeah?

I heard him and I was like, I'm sorry, it's not very good cover. Speaking of good covers, have you heard of sit.

Hell of a cover so good?

Is there anything you want to plug?

Yeah?

Or is there a final topic you would like to finally address on yeah?

Or anything conclusionary?

Wow, there's a lot of pressure at the end. I don't remember there being this much pressure at the end before, but.

There was a ton of the beginning though.

Yeah, where do you.

Think people learn to what's the most important thing?

I think what they've learned is that if you believe in your sound effects, that's what matters. You could sit think of Michael Winslow, but before he started making his sound effects, you know, he was probably there and his dad was probably like, oh, be quiet, just play with the fire truck. I'm watching the game. And he was like, someday I'll use this power for good. But he probably had to hide it and sort of keep it to himself.

With him and his mouth. Don't Chris, don't take it dirty.

And I don't do it, Chris, I'm.

Got a rib remove.

Do you know what I'm talking about? That I'd like helicoptered out if possible.

And then eventually he found he found his audience, and then it was just the wind in his sail that he needed and that would sound like and that's very good and and and I think that's what matters. If if you believe it's good, it's good. Have nobody's gonna buy your sound effects. Until you buy your sound effects.

You're right.

I'll be a Flappers tonight at eight thirty and there's a nine to forty five.

That's a quick set.

It's not good.

I do twenty two. I'm waiting for my other half. No that that would be my final topic. And you know you can listen to my podcast The doll Up and go to garethrenods dot com for all tour information. To go to dollar podcast dot com for to information there.

Hey, I'll just pay you for an uber we give want to do the shoe? Can't you know what I mean? You again?

I have a cape and a hat bag. The bag has a cape too.

I can't believe you put a cape on your magic bag.

This Tuesday night traffic.

It doesn't look trafficking from where I am, so, I don't know which terminal you guys are in.

A pat Do the cut? Do the United cut through? Karen? Circle around? What we're stuck? How much does the car have? Does it have enough?

Karen's out of power?

It hardly has any obvious Do you hear that it was bacon frying?

Yeah?

Car one hundred percent died. Did you put bacon in the charge, Karen?

Yeah, real thin strips.

It was a bad idea I know doesn't.

Know about she doesn't know take the over please, I'll take the uber now.

You get I'll take the uber. The car was running on bacon. You got to figure that out, misskill Gareff.

Please I will, I promise, Lord, but.

We'll rebook you and actually record an episode soon.

Let's do one I'd love to be on.

That will be something fun, it'll be great.

We'll look for something to look forward to. Ladies and gentlemen. Excited you've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

Dyn Aar.

This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Analise Nelson, engineered by Stephen Ray Morris, mixed by Ryo boun Theme song by Karen Kilgareth, artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's dynar Podcast.

For more information, go to Exactlyrightmedia dot com.

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Thank you and you're welcome.