Are you leaving on?
You wanna way back home? Either way, we.
Want to be there.
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gay. We want to send you off in style. You wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Malcorn? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need you ride?
Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks And.
This is Karen Kilgariff. Hello, my friend, Hello, my friend. At the end of twenty twenty two, I have.
Here in front of me your new pickleball paddle.
Oh the best paddle, it says on the box.
I believe it's a Apparently, Jamie Fox, the actor egat multi talented celebrity, is weighing a pickleball and he makes those paddles.
Jamie Fox did not send us pickleball.
It is his pickleball company. No, it's just the paddle. I mean, I might as well show it to you. Yes, please, it's cool, it's in there.
It's pre dude, I'm getting that I'm going to get that from you.
It is for you, and I'm not going to take credit for it, because it was they were giving them away at this golf tournament I did, and Hannah Drake Littman, who works for the Heart Foundation, sent me. Because I didn't get my trophy after I won, I left because I was sad I didn't win the chipping contest. So it's really a present from Hannah. But because I was like, I don't play pickleball, I was thinking about myself, but I was in my head because I was golfing. Anyway,
Hannah sent you this, so it's from her. Hannah I together. It's a dual gift.
Oh are we supposed to share it?
No.
She just was listening to the episode where you and Dave were talking about, Hey, we should start playing pickleball, and so she's thoughtful and said, oh shit, oh yeah, and you just for a second here, I was going to take credit and I backed out. And that's what Christmas is all about. Like you were going to say you got.
It for me, I was. I was going down that road, that that bumpy road.
Of lies to very You know what though, what a what a tempting road that is to be like, hey, look, you know I listen to what you say, and I was thinking, what would you like most for Christmas?
I could have got it, would have done that, and then I realized we talked about it. So I went and I purchased from Jamie Fox personally.
Trunk the trunk of his car.
I'm trying not to turn down though it was Roads of Lies, good healthy.
Also, if Hannah listens to the podcast, then she may may have heard you get to steal the credit, and then then she would probably go to Jamie Fox and say, not only should we not have given this, but now you have an enemy, right, an enemy.
In high places? Oh boy, that would be Yeah, that's it was out of fear. I get backed out.
I think it's smart. Whatever it takes for you to not lie, whether it's fear, future repercussions and recriminations from Jamie Fox, any of it, you don't want it.
No, No, he's a man I've always been scared of.
Quite muscular.
My very first writing job was on a sketch show called Hype Into Sorry in two thousand and in the year two thousand, I believe, and god damn, it was so long.
Ago.
It's so funny. But we were on the Warner Brothers lot and we were over by kind of on the back end in those none of this matters, but I can just see our offices because they looked It was just so exciting to be going on to a lot to have a writing job. It was just like I was like, Oh, all my dreams are coming.
To travel your first staff writing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And at first I had to take the bus there because I didn't have a car. It was right after or I had to stop driving for three years when I started having seizures after I stopped drinking, so I was taking them the bus. I would have to walk over to Kowanga and wait there for sometimes between fifteen minutes and an hour and ten minutes for the bus to come to take me over basically Kowanga Pass and over Barram to the Warner Brothers lot. And Jamie Fox used to have his show where he was a hotel,
like a hotel Bellhop. I think is the board for it, which I used to also watch on the WB and his shows. They wrote that down on the other side of the building that we were on, and so I used to from my office watch him pull into his parking spot and come into the building every day, and it was like the fun thing that we got to do,
like a star. That never happens when you even when you're on a lot, it's usually just boring other people on the lot, right, unless it's someone exciting, like a right you love a certain executive producer and they're walking Yah.
Almost never been the best behind the scenes decisions.
Look at it suit a look at his The budgets this guy puts together are unbelievable. But it was Jamie Fox pulling up every day and Jamie Fox sometimes like then we started doing this thing where you would figure out a reason to go walk by the stairway because he would be coming up it, and then we would just go to pretend to wait for the elevator or be walking by holding two scripts or whatever, like got to do business over in this area. We had no business on that side of the building at all. It
was really exciting. And he's like, Jamie Fox is one of the most talented people on the planet.
Even forget like there's a video going around right now where he's doing a Trump impression better than anyone.
Better than anyone, and Snoop Dogg.
It's like one of those shows where they're in a studio all in a semi circle and they are laughing so hard, and I just forgot. He's this impressionist, YEP singer actor. He's got it all and he's.
A hell of a pickleball player and he's so he is passionate about pickleball the way Dave Holmes and now I am.
I His name was thrown around with these paddles so much that I'm one hundred percent sure there no one would just make that up because no, someone said it and I'm like, what, no, what, and then everyone kept reinforcing it.
So I have to get that for you before I leave to go up north for Christmas, because.
Everyone that I drop you off there's like San Francisco forty nine ers gear, there's a lot of heat. I just have it in a box here and I'm embarrassed and I see it and then I'm like, I'm a bad friend.
I'm just I've just been holding it for you.
I love that though. That's kind of fun. It's almost like the you know, the year in review of gifts that you've gotten. But I'm excited because the people that I know that know how to play pickleball and know the rules and know where the lines are are all in Pedaluma. So I can just basically call Adrian. My sister's found Adrian and be like, hey, do you want
to play pickleball on these mornings? Because and then I can learn it from the people I know who know it instead of like, because Dave and I were talking about, well we should just go and we should find courts and we should like in La. Yeah, like that's so intimidating.
Yeah, it is. It is. I need to be told.
Like I subbed in a kickball game last week, and I don't know that I've ever played kickball. I was assuming it was the same rules as Little League baseball, but it's been since I was a child that I did that. It was so much fun. I had so much fun and I felt like a kid again. And it was a team sport when I haven't done a team sport in years. Yeah, and I felt it felt amazing. I really enjoy It's very important to do like an activity I think.
And team team based because you when you do your individuals, you then attack yourself and you have lots of big feelings whereas if it's on a team, you have people to balance it out right.
At no point, even when I missed a catch or didn't know what I was doing and I threw the ball in the wrong direction, I wasn't hating myself because there's a team there. There was also you just are more inherently more supportive of everyone.
And it's and.
It's also kickball, like it's kickball, which you can say that about golf, but golf is like kind of a businessman's game, and so I'm sure there's lots of things that come up, whereas like if you fuck up and kickball, you're like, sorry, I guess I'm not in third grade.
Yeah bye, Yeah, I had no expectations. Well I did a little bit. I'm like, what have I run? And my legs don't work and I trip. I was so scared that I would just fall down for no reason.
But it didn't happen, just like all of a sudden. All of a sudden, you're like, oh, it turns out I can't run at all.
Well, it is.
When the ball is bouncing towards you very quickly, it is very hard to kick it. I will say I thought that I would be way better at kicking it. I was like missing it and almost doing a Charlie Brown onto my back, which brings me.
To my next subject.
Oh, Okay, have.
You been rewatching any of the Peanuts Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday specials?
I personally have not. Charles Schultz is from Santa Rosa, so like it was his hundredth birthday a month ago, I think, and so when I was up there, they were having all kinds of like memorials and talking about him and what a legend is and everything, and it's very much ingrained. Also, my sister, being a first and second grade teacher, shows her class both of those at the holidays, so I kind of do it vicariously through her. So I'm always like, hat, did you show him? Did
you show him the Thanksgiving one yet? Because I think I've told you this. My sister on Thanksgiving shows her class the Thanksgiving one and she makes them popcorn and eminem's all the stuff that they have at the Charlie Brown feast that Snoopy makes them she makes for the kids, which I was like the first time she told me that, I burst into tears because I was like, I just realized that's what I've wanted to do since I was like six years old watching that special, Like, how's fun
is with it? They're doing, do what they're doing, what they're eating, like live, you know, Live Linus's life, Live Peppermint Patty's life. Although can I just say first, first, we'll do the Thanksgiving special. People have pointed this out on social media. I find it absolutely jaw droppingly horrifying. Franklin is sitting on one side of the table by himself, and he's the only black character, and they have him on one side and there's like six kids on the
other side, and it makes no fucking sense. It makes no fucking sense there.
I mean, that had to be a mistake. There are so inclusive of them, they're sweet to them. I was paying attention to that. That was just bad art design. Yeah, but who I'd like to speak to the artist. What was the mistake?
What are you doing? Yeah, he's one of the gang. But it's like, that is the weirdest thing. Yeah, it's the weirdest thing to me, unless somebody fucked around like photoshopp did or something.
Yeah, I don't know.
Oh wow, maybe Oh so you saw you saw still online?
Yeah, I think I would have noticed that.
I think so much, Louise, do you mind looking to see if that's real? That Franklin sitting on one side of the Thanksgiving fee stable by myself.
I mean, as if there isn't enough depressing the It bothered even as a child, it did. There's an eerie like sadness too. It's not just the music, but the fact that there and everyone always talks about this, but no adults around, no parents, No one mentions their parents.
They're they're making dinners by themselves.
Yep.
And Charlie Brown says the most, I hate my life, what is my life?
Good grief? Oh bru.
Like he is so down on himself that I can't believe that was for kids.
I know.
I was laughing so hard at how openly hard he is on himself, and everyone's so mean to him. But then right in the end they're like, you're a hero, Charlie Brown. Yeah, and it right in the right in the very end, he's happy they save it.
I love it.
Yeah, it's so funny. Also, Linus is like the baby. He has a blanket over his shoulder. He sucks is them. But he is like a German philosopher, the shit, he says.
I did not.
That is something I forgot or didn't notice when I was a kid. He totally says the most poignant, perfect things. Yep, he's so smart.
Literally, as a kid, we're all we're all just like, hey, look a dog and a birder friends, Like, no one is picking up on any of that adult stuff. It Actually, as a kid, though, it did make me feel uncomfortable that they were by themselves and that it was always this kind of thing where I'm just like, I'm sorry, it's Thanksgiving, and somehow this group is just just they're all by themselves. That doesn't make sense that the parents are like, sorry, we went on a cruise for the weekend.
Oh, someone asked me to do stand up on a cruise?
Are you going to do it? No?
I can't. I mean I don't.
I'm a little bit of a A cruise ship is just a float, giant port it potty that serves fish.
I can't.
I'm scared that that's one thing that I've like, my brain has changed.
I can't be on a cruise ship yet.
I just can't know that it's actually it can be very claustrophobic, especially if you hit any kind of slightly rough water. It's very to me scary. But wait a second, that just makes me think, because we should come back to this Peanuts Christmas special. Before we do, let's just se quick take a right down the alley of there is a movie. Have you seen Triangle of Sadness? No? Okay, did you ever see the movie Force Masure? Oh? Yes, yes, that yeah, same director. Okay, I just watched it this
past weekend. You have to see it. Okay, speaking of what you just spoke of without any spoiler's okay, it's you're going to love it.
It's crazy, and I actually wanted Triangle of Sadness to be some Peanut special.
I didn't know about it.
I really like a dinner bell and they zoom in on it and it's.
Just it's really round by himself and.
It's just kids eating together, no conversation, no music.
Triangle of Sadness.
I didn't even I didn't even realize that perfectly perfectly capped it up. Wait, sorry, Onalisa, you just tell me what this says?
Yes on aalise please.
Basically, yes, He's sitting on the other side of the table and Genejols says that that her husband didn't have anything to do with it. It was the director's decision. They think that it wasn't any ulterior motive, but I mean it was the time, so it's very possible that somebody did so. Because was it from the late sixties? Does it say or the It was like a sixties originally, I think, But still well.
Just as excluded. They are so hard on that. It's not that kid's fault, pig Pen. That he's dirty, that's his parents, wherever they might be. Of course they're never mentioned, very true, but I knew kids like that with a cloud of dirt around them that were smelling, and it always made me sad because it was just like maybe their parents didn't have a watcher and dryer. Yeah, they are so mean. They bring up that he's dirty all the time, and he's a sweet He also says sweet things.
I was really bothered by pig Pen, the way the kids treat them. They are so mean to each other. Lucy is so mean.
Lucy's Superman, which I always loved. We love her because you know, she's a self actualized woman, which back then
was very refreshing. But there's another one that looks like Lucy but she has a ponytail and she's she's always like get out of here, Charlie Brown, like she is the meanest, but she's not like a main character, and she says the meanest shit, And I think, yeah, I think they're That whole thing was like I think Charles Schultz meant to represent like kids don't have it easy just because they don't have jobs and shit, kids go
through shit that's very real. And I think that idea, whether it was conscious or not, of like this is where all your problems start, you know what I mean, So you might as well give kids the respect of what they go through, you know, as they go through it.
Yeah.
Yeah, And it's so insane that Lucy was a therapist, but she did it for nefarious reasons, and she would try to get Charlie Brown to admit certain things. It would just be like, you know, it would make you feel better if I held the ball and you kicked it. And he's like, I guess this is helping talking about this, and then she pulled away. He land and he didn't land flat on There's times where he landed on his upper back, like near his neck, like it.
Was a dangerous prank.
Yeah, and but the fact that she was doing therapy for people. I just it was so that kind of a cartoon just wouldn't be made now unless it.
Was no although you know a lot of the stuff that Lucy that we you know, we judged Lucy for we then thirty years later celebrated Johnny knoxall for right, you know what I mean, And that's just delightful and boys being boys. But if Lucy does it, she's a.
Vicious I mean in Triangle of Sadness, it's a it's a peanut special.
People don't talk about Lucy.
Actually Staples, Charlie Brown's nottsacked to his leg, which.
Jackass they were the og jackass nus jumps off that weird two foot wall they're always walking by. I was always obsessed with those backgrounds because I started to catch on of like, oh, that's right, they can't just make new backgrounds all the time as people walk around. That was like a thing because we just watched so much televisionist kids that I started like going, like, you know,
in Scooby Doo when they run down a hall. And I said this once to my friend's sister, Picture plant, picture plan, yep, And they're just it's like whoa, whoa. And it's like, first of all, how long is this hallway? This is why are we still going? Is fifty yards long? There's only two things in the hallway, and it repeats all the way down like all those kinds of things where that's how much TV. It was like we were
I was getting picking apart the background. What do you know what that's called, like with the base layer of the cartoon cell that they put the character.
Oh sure, I mean I would call it a background.
Sure, Oh yeah, background makes sense.
And then they would just scroll over that one, drawing over and over and we all noticed, we all know that it was lamp chair.
Lamp chair.
Okay, but then you did you moved on to the Christmas special? So you already watched it or have you not yet?
It is that one is sweeter, Yeah, that's one is less dysfunctional. And I don't know why, but it made me cry several times. I also, I I'm not are you a Christmas person?
They? Are you a Christian?
What is your relationship ship? Like with christ Karen?
I think he's really hot and I love how good of a listener he is. Yes, I have a very strong, lifelong relationship with Christ that I keep private. Imagine that Christians of the world zipping your lip about your relations.
In all seriousness. Yeah, me too, me too, right, yeah.
You know you know, yeah, but that's special. I love Christmas. I love I love waiting around to feel the Christmas Eve feeling, and sometimes I don't get it till like February. It's really weird, especially if, like you know, like losing your mom. There's these things that kind of like come as speed bumps where then you're kind of like, is it wrong that we're having Christmas as Oh, this isn't the same, right, And you kind of go through this
weird you know thing where you're processing Christmas differently. But like we were, where was I? I was eating with my friend Albertina at the Astro Diner last night and that comes on in the background and I go, oh, this is my first Christmas jingle. Christmas Carol or that's the word I'm looking for, right, Yeah.
I mean yeah, Christmas music, sure, Christmas music, Yeah, Carol's are you know?
That's door to door. It's very intrusive.
That's more of that, didd it. This was like a straight up Christmas song, and I go, oh, it's my first Christmas song this season, and Albertina goes, oh, you haven't been leaving your house. I'm like, oh, you're right, we're like well into the teens here. But it was the first one i'd heard. And then I was like, oh, and then they have a little I just noticed they
have a Christmas tree here. Like I'm so not an outside person right these days that the Christmas spirit has not hit me because I'm just in this room on this computer.
I might be more of it because I'd been listening to Christmas music at my apartment. I made this isn't a tree, but I did make a thing with my plant stand nice.
Oh there's so little Chris put little white lights. Are those icicle lights? Are they poist?
Set point setia as it's spelled and as my mother pronounced it.
That's pretty.
Last night, the Improv had a Christmas party and I kind of went there hesitantly because I knew it did be packed, and I wasn't sure, you know, I was worried that I wouldn't know anyone. It was the best hanging out with Bill Dwyer. He was so fun and funny. I was wishing you were there because it was so much fun and everyone was in such a good mood.
Wire is we should have him on. He is truly the funniest kid he is.
He's great, and he's always in a good mood, and he always like wants to riff and play games, and he makes me feel like a kid again. It makes me think of the first time I met him on the road featuring for him, and we were just inventing games in the condo, throwing frozen peas across the room into the He would open the freezer and I'd throw frozen peas and he'd try to close it before I could get it in there.
Frozen pie's were everywhere. We were laughing.
We weren't been drinking, we were just I'm like, this guy is the funnest.
He's the truly the best. He also has one of the greatest jokes where he's like he puts up his hand and I think at the time he was married, but so he had a gold ring on and be like Bill Dwyer and then he'd pull the ring up and go Bill Dwyre at the mall. Remember that. Like, he is truly one of the best comedians if you have a chance to see him, you have to go see him.
He's so hilarious. He often says, Bill.
D Bill at the mall, and he's kind of turning at the waste like a weird automaton and showing everybody him being single at the mall. He's he's And also we used to work. One of my very very first any kind of comedy writing jobs was on like an internet comedy news show. It was crazy. Me and John Matta and Bill Dwyer all work there. And Bill was the first of all his jokes. He would just write
like three pages of jokes that were the whole show. No. I was sitting there trying to put ideas together, like feeling so terrible about myself, and Bil dwirts jokes were just like, okay, well there we go. That's that's all we need. He's so good. And then he would do stuff like one time he was just gone for a while and then I hear him out in the hallway. He's like, Karen, hey, Karen, come out here for a second.
So I go outside and he's not out there, and then I look up and he's holding himself up on the between the wall and the ceiling like Spider Man, like to scare me and it just purely to do it. Like and this is a man that had like three or four kids. Yeah, he wasn't. He wasn't like a college student.
And last night he was wearing a black velvet sport coat with a red like nice dress shirt underneath a what looked almost handmade a knit Misfit sweater, a black with the giant Misfits skull. Yeah, he couldn't have been work but Christmas y. He was Christmas punk rock last night. I was like, I'm looking around, I'm like, no one is cooler than him, because I was close because I had my new glasses on, which, by the way, I lost last night. I'm trying not to beat myself over it.
But they got to be in the improv somewhere. Yeah they are. They're They're somewhere. They're under I'm after this. I'm going to go find them. I'm not going to worry about it. But bil Dwyer was the cool his style wise.
He was. He was the winner last night. We had so much. Damn all these faces of people.
I really, even when I do comedy shows, you're not hanging out like that.
No, you're just always coming and going are like, yeah, wait, name other people because this is I miss Bildwyer so much. Who else was there that I would have find me see?
Even people like Greg Hahn is this ex marine Like he's huge, like Gary Golman, but he used to open for Daniel Tosh back when I was doing it, and he's the goofiest, silliest comic ever that doesn't use his impending stature. He's just ridiculously funny. And I was so excited to see him and tell him like, hey, I'm a big fan of yours and I always have been and I just wanted to tell you that, and he really appreciated it. It was just all the It was a everyone was in a good mood and saying sweet
things to each other. And that was one of the first times, like you and I when we were podcasting over the Quarantine, we were like, I promise I'm going to go to parties. I'm going to appreciate being there. I'm not going to say no to things. Last night I finally felt like, Okay, everyone is on the same page with enjoying being around each other. It was just it was just, I mean, even Aaron Pooler von Shannenfeldt, the first booker that liked me there was there and
I was so happy to see her. I was Zoe Friedman had been there. It was just the staff there. I wanted to see Eddie. I want the text bartender Eddie because I haven't seen him in forever. Craig, the bartender that used to bartend during your show with April. He was there, and he's so funny and fun.
Oh so nice.
Yeah.
I just had a lot of great interactions, even with comics whose names I don't remember because it's been so long. I was still hey you, I'm so happy to see you, just avoiding names.
It was so fun, it was that's awesome.
Yeah, really put me in the Christmas spirit, which is why I asked.
You about your relationship with christ.
I went to see Jonathan Richmond last night. Do you care about his music?
I don't not care about it because I don't know who he is.
You.
I bet if you heard a song you would because he's been around since like late sixties, seventies, and he had that song road Runner, road Runna Donna, and he has the song and I want to take his place straight And it's a song about like this guy's a stoner and I'm not a stoner and I want to take his place.
Well I can.
I don't recognize those songs, but I can tell the way you're casually singing them that it might be right up my alley.
Okay, So you know in the movie Something about Mary, there's a troubadour guy that walks through and side guy.
Yes, okay, it's him.
And so he's been around forever and he got this kind of like after Something about Mary, there was like this peak of like this guy or whatever. But there's of course he's like a musician's musician, so there are people that have been following him since day one, and he is truly his music is so listenable and it's so perfectly done. And he's opened with the song that I couldn't tell. I think he was making it up
on the spot, and it was he was talking. He just started talking about like like love is in the air, but you you have to be available and you can't numb out, and we've all numbed out and it's this whole thing. But he does it really kind of like over dramatically. It's just it was so delightful and he started exactly at eight o'clock. He's seventy years old, but he's like but you wouldn't know it. You'd think he
was liked. And he's got like a he plays guitar and it's like acoustic, and then he's got like a percussionist on stage with him that most dude plays like, I don't know what the instrument is, but I would say bongo's be in the but it's not. There's a drummer that's really furious it's not, but I shouldn't and can't Secca. Well, it's like he's just percussion. So he's
just like the he's backing him up. And he has a song called Dancing at a Lesbian Bar that was his closer, like everyone knows that one that.
I've heard that I've heard.
Yeah, it was just like but it felt it was that kind of thing where everyone was very quiet and listening so hard, and he was doing all this stuff and being very like it just felt like actual art. And one of his songs was like people have no shame, they they steal everything, and then he just goes into a Santana riff, like at first you think he got a song stolen from him and that's why he wrote this song. And then he just basically ends the song
by ripping off Santana and it's so funny. Like and anyway, the show ended like like at eight forty five or eight fifty, we were in the car by nine o'clock, where I'm like, this is exactly what I am talking about of going to a concert where it's like it's almost like you get just a direct injection of like beautiful artistry and somebody who's authentic and cool and original, and then you just get out.
Of there's you wanting more. He doesn't over to stay that. Well, it's funny that I hope that it part of you. I mean, you can feel however you want. But you do that to audiences too, and everything you just described i've seen you do.
Uh, thank you. So I.
Don't I don't know. I know you're taking and you can take a break. I mean, my dad said, no, I don't paint. I'm gonna paint when I'm retired, and he took twenty some years off, and sure enough, you've seen how good he was when he picked it back up. There's no I'm not adding pressure again. But you you're very good and you do that also, and you yeah, your songs aren't comedy songs necessarily, but you're funny in between everything you just said about this guy, you're a truebadore Karen.
Well, but there's something, you know what it was, I think I got to really appreciate because there's people and that I think. You know, when you're left to your own devices, you tell yourself a bunch of shit that you think is like reality, that you're not being, that you are prote do a thing you actually can't do, or whatever evil voice I have in my head that's
always just like, don't do that. It's super embarrassing, and watching him do that where I'm like, oh, this is where I got the idea, Like listening to this guy and watching this guy or watching someone like Daniel Johnston, watching people who are like I don't really care if
I'm the best guitar player in the world. I have this idea and I think you're gonna like it, and that energy itself will work like you can that is enough, and you just have to kind of execute that in a way that where it's very difficult, that you have to be vulnerable enough to kind of like then give people that no matter what they're gonna give you back, which is this guy has been Jonathan Richmond has been like essentially doing that thing around people loving him or
you know whatever. He doesn't give a shit. He's I've seen him three times over the last twenty years, and he is the same every time in that energy of like he likes to put his guitar down and just dance around and people kind of go like at first, people go like whoo, like they're playing along almost like comment on. But then after a while you're kind of like this rules, like this guy loves what he's doing.
Yeah, I would though, I would like I just was imagining if you put down the guitar and started doing that. I mean, I'm not it just seems out of character for you, but the visual of it just made me happy.
You started like like a ma like my mom when she had some wine, like started essentially just.
Kind of hands and hips, hands and hips.
Hands and hips, paper, Yeah, plant table, plant table, just run.
Like Scooby Doo down around the stage.
Well, I mean it's funny because I saw you throw it together at the last second. One of my favorite songs you did and I'm biased. Of course, was for our podcast, but you how did you ever do a long version of the my favorite murder.
Song No I Meant To? And it was like, I think the that's so funny because that show was supposed to be a placeholder, but it was this thing where I was just like, I know what I want this song to sound like, so here I'll just give an example. And then basically George was like okay, and then it was like and then we just were like now we're doing it now, like now it's happening, so we're not going to go back and find we're not going to
buy a song or you know what I mean. And yeah, So then I think there was a point in time where I was like, I should write that as a whole song. But then now it's about it's almost like it's just a sting. It's just like a little intro. It isn't I don't think it is a whole song.
Well, there is a artist she's I think they it's Texas. So she's Female Artist of the Year in Austin, but she's married to Guy Forsa Forsyth. This an artist, a blues guitarist that I remember went back when I lived in Austin, and she did. She sent me a message and sent a link to a full length version of the song, and it is haunting and sounds like it's from True Detective and you have to hear it.
I it's is that in the box with all my other shit?
Yes, it's one of your gifts.
But she sent a message and I and I finally read it. It's like, please have Karen listen to this. And I listened to it and it's so good. But she said that on some podcasts. You said, I don't know that I could recreate what I did. I don't for my favorite murder song.
Yeah, because it was like I always use a capo because I can't do bar chords. And then so wherever the capo was is a mystery. I'm sure someone could figure it out. And then I know I was doing a little hammer thing. I mean, I can only play five chords, so it's it's probably a to see something like something minor. Maybe I'm not.
Sure, but I think you'll love here. I'll send you Jazz becaud Of it's her name. I'll send you this song, please, du I would love to hear it. Yeah, I mean My point is you inspire people as a musician. You should do it again if you want. That's all I'm saying.
Geez, yes you thank you. Of course that's nice. I like that idea. It's you know what it is. Music is just like when people get it right. And I feel like this is why so many people love to do their own music. It's because, like it is such a very specific kind of expression and it is so fucking fun if you do it, like you can do it by yourself and have a really good time, but also the more people that do it with you, then there's this like insanely powerful communal thing. Did I tell
you about that? I did Brian, I did this show at Permanent Records Roadhouse and it's called bring your Own Cover Band, I think, And so we went and we did. They wanted to do PJ.
Harvey and Brian Cook and those guys. Yep, yeah it's.
Brian Cook and Wood sure yeah Rick Rick Wood. Does Rick have the same last name as Andy Wood? Anyway, all the Wood, the entire Wood family is there and they're playing woodwinds. But we did win Wood. We did PJ. Harvey songs, and I love her. Of course the very big deal ninety, Like I had all these nineties feelings where I was just like, oh this there's some big
ship yeah memories here. But one of the songs they were like there already picked a couple that they wanted to do, and then I was like, guys, we have to do Kamakazi. It's like the fucking coolest song of all time. When I went to rehearse it them, it is like, now I think the drummer's name was Charlie, Shit, I can't remember. He's super nice and an amazing like he's a touring drummer. He plays with Belinda Carlisle, he
plays with like all these fucking cool people. He's like the real deal, and he goes, I don't even know how to say it, but what he's like, this is in six six time or six one time. It was some insane rhythm that, of course all those guys were good at because they're really good musicians and they kind of know how to do it when we were practicing. But I picked it and I literally was like, I don't know where to come in, Like I didn't because it was this kind of like you have to hear
the song PJ Harvey Kamakazi. It's so fucking heavy and awesome, and we rehearsed it and we only got to like rehearse it three times on one night, and then I was like, hey, are we gonna rehearse this again? And Brian's like, you got it. It's gonna be fine because it's like they they're already doing eight other songs and they don't really care, and I'm like, fuck, I picked this.
I have to get this right. And so I just listened to her version over and over and the night of we went into that song and we fucking nailed it. And it was it felt like I could fly, like that feeling of like I know when to start, I know this really well now I'm actually singing it. It was so fucking cool in this way that I can't explain, and it's very much like, you know, it's almost like what do they call that, like rock rock camp or whatever where people go and pay money to be an
aerosmith or whatever. That's what it felt like. But it's like my friends who are also comics or musicians that like to hang out and do it. It was the It felt like the best thing I've ever.
Because I remember you being kind of nervous for that.
I was fucking shitting. I kind of was like, should I tell them I'm sick or have COVID because that idea where it's just like the beat was unlike anything and I never even noticed before because of course it's her song and her doing it, and it all is just kind of like, oh, yeah, yeah, I get it, and then once you sit there and it's like you're getting counted in. I can't explain how. It was almost
like we were doing fancy jazz. It was so hard to follow anyway, and we nailed it night of We nailed it, like to a t. It was fucking rap.
I did a version of Red Red Wine that went from Neil Diamond to ub forty and that was in my early isn't reggae.
Hilarious if I do it? God days?
But I was so nervous, and I wish that we had rehearsed more because I had the same feeling with my college buddies when we went and did those punk songs. I'm like, I can all I have to do is be confident on stage all the things you were telling me to do.
Confidant, A confidant all.
I have to do is to be a friend and a confidant to these golden girls of mine. That's and I felt to do all these old punk songs that everyone there recognized from skate videos and they're singing along and I look back and these are friends of mine that I was all scared and lived in the dorms and met all these guys in college. It was there were times where I'd be screaming, singing and I was my eyes were tearing up. Yeah, it was windy and we were outside, so that was part of it.
Shit.
I also was very emotional for me.
And we're we're doing shows again on my birthday weekend in February.
We're doing the.
The slalom and we rent at a house and we're going to rehearse for three days. And I'm not scared this time. I'm just excited. So I have had a taste of that.
But yes, it's it's incredible. It is like the fucking greatest but also sorry, a bank slalom, what do you mean?
Yes, it is one of the oldest snowboard contests. It is a long, kind of rugged slalom course with big burms like the walls you know, like race car walls that are beveled up, and it's very fast and difficult, and it's a snowboard contest that's gone on for like almost forty years, if not more than forty. Where is
it at Mount Baker in Washington. Yeah, so we're running up there and we're doing two shows and it's going to be packed with people that I assume snowboarding and skateboarding are enough of a crossover sport that I think people.
Will know these songs.
Yes, I'm nervous, I'm also excited, but I really I want to consult a voice coach. I got to learn at least what I'm supposed to sound like and get some tips. It's got to help. What do you think should I do that sure? Or should I just practice?
Well, you can do both, but I think the most helpful thing anyone ever took my friend Don Cummings, who's the best singer, and he can play the piano and sing and it's so impressed. But he's like, you have
to be breathing big the whole time. He's like, your your gut is like a bellows and you're just filling up with air and pushing the air back out and that like thinking of it that way, because when you're nervous and you get excited or whatever, it's all tightening and you have to figure out how to stay loose and relaxed. Yeah, which is very hard because that's it's like the paradox of performing, where like that's the one time you're the most harvis. It's so vulnerable to sing.
It's like so much more vulnerable than comedy. People don't understand that. So it's like, so now you're your most vulnerable and then you have to be at least as relaxed as you can possibly.
And I know I wasn't doing it one.
I sing from inside my skull, I go no further down than my neck, and all of my vocals come from my nasal passage and I pretty much hold my breath in between lyrics, so I already know I'm doing that wrong and I'm also screaming. But throughout a show I started to figure it out. Like at the end, I'm like, oh, I sound like I know what I'm doing right now.
I could, yes, because.
You just need the practice, but also I wonder I bet you On like YouTube, you can look up vocal exercises and vocal tips like vocal singing, singer tips or whatever, because people have that knowledge to give.
Yeah, I did watch some video that have me doing like grumbling didgeridoo, like singing in my throat. Yes, I don't know what that's for, but I did it and it did help, like prime my vocal cords before the show.
And it's a mink of Australia at the time, which.
You always is relaxing. It is, I mean, snakes, gigantic spiders, relaxing stuff.
Yeah, kangaroos with razor sharp punching claws.
Coming up over a hill as you're trying to relax and have a picnic. Now you're fighting a.
King and their kid is staying all of it from the pouch.
And then you're like, do you have the time to listen to me wine?
Yeah, we should do old there's Old Green Day in some skate videos prior to Dookie. Yes, and I wouldn't mind Billy Joel Armstrong, I guess all of Green Day. I'm not a huge fan anymore, but they did a cover of some misfit song and I watched it over and over and over. I just realized they are like an amazing band. But it's just not something I grew up. Well.
Also, they were one of those first kind of like a punk band that went to child or.
Something, did they Yeah, Oh he's like a trained musician, Like yeah, yeah.
Like I just thought knew he was from the Bay Area. But they went wide as a punk band, which of course everyone's like you're a phony. And it was the nineties, which was the worst era to live in maybe ever, ye with that kind of shit that Kirk Cobain like if you try, if you lift a finger to try, you're immediately a fraud.
Yeah, people notice you're trying.
Yeah, yes, And it's like those guys. Comparatively, they were a great band, and they wrote really hooky, great songs, and they got a lot of shit for just like being popular.
Yep, totally, that was That's the most anti punk thing you can do, is have everyone like you.
Yes, that's right, that's right. Well, Well, I like this idea of ourt that we're basically going to on this podcast transform our years long comedy careers into brand new.
So lead vocalist, you know I'm gonna get and I read these messages, I'm going to get a lot of them that insisting you and I collaborate. I'm not read. I have to fail on my own first. So the answer is no, Karen, I know that you. That's where this was leading. Do you want to do a duo?
Are? I can't handle your intense snowboard punk rock righter.
It's just a different vibe mine. I'm doing like a lil style.
Your street style does not match up with my art teacher crocheted vest PJ. Harvey covers. We'll get there, though, We'll come back around. You should actually, once you do that, you figure out you should tell Brian cookie you want to do one of those, because yeah, Brian and Andy love doing like any and all songs.
Yeah I was they we were talking about it and I just didn't follow up.
But yeah, I do want to do that.
Because they also do Guilty Treasure, which is super fun. That's what are you?
Yeah?
Yeah, that one is my favorite.
Guess of course why I picked UB forty.
Of course I when Red red Wine comes on, I don't have to be on a cruise ship. I will enjoy it anywhere, but I have to be very private about that. It's famously song people don't like. I guess, well, I feel like.
I love Red red Wine.
It's here's the thing if you were if you were a teen or preteen in like nineteen eighty two, that thing was our like Brown Eyed Girl. It was on everywhere all the time, like it was constant and you couldn't get away from it, and it was this weird kind of like it was. It's just so funny. Culturally, it's such an odd breakout hit.
Yeah, my sister had their albums.
Like to me, it was it was a cool like English band that yes, you know, knowing about the specials and madness, I kind of put it in that category. But the video, that video was always on and it was insane to me because he's singing about this this woman that he's in love with that is cheating on him with this other man. But it's the drummer of the band. So during the shots where they're actually singing
the song, the guys just behind them drumming. But then they go to these scenes where she's on a date with him, and I'm like, just turn around and yell at him. He's the drummer. They just should have hired an actor out think it was very confused. They should they must have made up because now we're singing. They're singing the song together. He must not be mad anymore.
There's a band that I absolutely adore and they're kind of like a they're like a comedy band out of Ireland called the Rubber Bandits, and they have a song called Roshane, I Want to Fight your Father, and it is the funniest fucking thing you've ever seen. First of all, these guys wear plastic bags on their faces and they pull out the eyes in the mouth. But other than that, they have a very tightly tied plastic bag on their head.
That would put me on.
Edge if I was watching, because we all know that is classically how we lose children. Apparently, yes, well, you're not supposed to wear plastic bags on your head.
No you are not. You're not supposed to. Doesn't look good. It's disturbing. But during this song, and it's kind of like they tried to make it like it's a it's a little bit of almost like an R and B kind of jam song. It's a very good, funny song. But at one point he's singing and he says something about I'll pay for your tattoo or something, and then
in the video in the video. The girl's leaning on the thing getting a tattoo on her back, and when the camera comes around, she's getting you be Forty tattooed on her back in like foot tall letters, and it is the That reveal made me laugh for like five minutes. I was like, that's the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen. She's she just wants you be forty across her back. It's so obscure.
I love in excess. The more time passes is mare, I reave visit old songs. I have sort of a crouch on Michael Hutchins because I want to be him. I want to crawl into him and live him. Sure, but he's dead. I know he's dead, but in my mind he's still alive. I was at a cell phone store one day and this guy had I just noticed he was tattooed all over was script and I was reading it and it was all his whole body was covered in excess lyrics.
Oh whoa.
Which at the time, I'm like, that's you're crazy. He's like, no, it's my favorite band. I don't think it's crazy anymore. I think that guy's awesome. But at the time I was like, wait, there's no way you're that into an excess.
It's a huge commitment.
Yeah, all the songs on his arms, I mean it looked good. It was written like in typeface. It was like, oh, you are covered with information. You're like a digital prisoner from the future.
You're you're digital prisoner from the future. If they made prisoners b liner notes in the future.
But yeah, I'm what I'm saying is I'm going to get a big in excess tattoo on my upper back.
Okay, good, that's that's what I wanted to hear. This wrap into that's your Christmas gift to yourself this year.
Yeah, give yourself some self care.
Bill Dwire, Oh I miss him. Also. I ran into him, you know, five years ago or something like that, wherever it was, and he was exactly the same. Here's what I love people like that that are just like, especially in la where people come to this town and you know, have great things happen to them and then have horrible things happen to them, and it's like it is a very difficult life to be like I'm going to be a comedian and try to make my way. It's fucking rough.
And Bill has he's been like a game show host. He's done it all. He's so so good. Actually, that just reminds me I was going to write this fucking pilot that he I wanted. It was called The Bill Dilan Show, and it was poor man's copyright, although I've already written this so you can't steal it. But it was a guy who.
It was recorded. That means, yeah, great, I own it. Yeah, it's copywriting.
The digital copyright is taking place as we speak, yes, but it was it would be bildwire. And he plays the host of a variety show in like nineteen seventy two, who thinks that Lawrence Welk is a current host and he thinks he's competing with him, and so he's a local LA variety show host thinking he's like, I'm going to get him this week, and he doesn't understand that the shows are syndicated and they're from like ten years before.
And no one telling why is no one telling him he's not voicing it in front of others.
It's basically a behind the scenes chaos show of what it would have been like to work on a variety show in nineteen seventy two, when like the director, like the opening shot is the director. You hear the god mic where the director is telling a singer on the stage like don't take another step you're on and then it's like, because you know, do you remember on the
Lawrence Welsh. This might be a reference that no one gets, but I was obsessed with Lawrence Well from childhood because my grandmother used to watch it and she'd be like, come in here and watch it with me, and so like oftentimes these seventies sets were like it would be a big, wide stage and then a woman standing halfway up on a staircase that goes nowhere, big curtains as
far as yes, exactly, big tall, glittery curtains. The orchestra's over on the side and she's singing you know, moon River, but she's just on this weird staircase to nowhere, and it's all very dramatic, and so it's like she's her eyes are fully dilated because she's completely on some kind of.
Pill phancing pills.
Yes, yes, and so she's kind of and they're like, don't walk up those stairs. And it's the director and he's calling the shots, but he's drunk in the control room, like with a big.
Glass of brown liquor, a simpler time. Everyone's smoking, Yes, everyone's smoking the entire time. And Bill Dwyer would be Bill Dillman. He's the host, so he's like, because wouldn't you be the perfect like seventies show host.
I did you know that?
I was on an MTV reality show called Seventies House where they took these kids and moved them into a house. They took away their flip phones. It was a long time ago, and Bill was the game show host. Like he'd come over and they'd be quizzed about seventies TV shows and inventions, and if they got them wrong, they got kicked off.
And I just came over as the neighbor.
I had a transiam and nunchucks and my hair was huge with a mustache. But Jimmy Walker was on it, Gallagher was on it. Natasha Lajero was the other host. It was like and he was so he had a long, skinny mic. I've seen him be a seventies game show host on MTV and he was amazing at it.
He's the fixed. Yeah, he's Bill Dumman.
And because we met him together, Bill and I more in the Loss of Gallagher. Just last night Oh, well, we talked about how much he really didn't like being on that show. Yeah, he did not enjoy himself, and I understood. I understood. They made him wear a hat with hair stapled to the inside so it looked like his old hair. That didn't probably make him feel good.
Then don't take the fucking job. Here's the thing, it's the word no.
Get to be honest.
I know he just passed, but he was so mean, he was so mad. Yeah, but God rest him.
I hope he's well. That's the thing place emotionally.
This business it breaks people. It breaks people, it really does.
It's hard. It's not an easy run. But we're doing okay with it.
We really are. And I think in twenty twenty three, this is when everything's going to change. Oh really, when it's all going to come together.
I'm going to go ahead and just just a plants safe. Twenty twenty four is going to be my year. I think I need another.
Just for me personally, just one year of prep. I get it.
I think as as humanity we will all blossom in twenty twenty three, But for me personally, success will come in twenty twenty four.
I'm just putting it out there. I think that's safe. One year buffer nice, yeah, perfect.
I think for for twenty twenty three, I'm going to become very limber. That's my thing. A lot of stretching.
I think that's a good idea.
Yeah, I need it.
Do you have rollers? Do you have massage guns?
No? Okay, okay, I'll get those for I'll ask my sister for those for Christmas.
Because I've been Yeah, I think it's very it's very important to just dig those into your problem areas.
Oh yeah, to loosen it up.
Oh yeah, yeah.
But even just a basic, you know, touch your toes kind of show. I just I do it sometimes when I go into the kitchen, like wait for water to boil or something. Then I'm just like, I need to be doing this consistently and for an extended period of time.
Yeah.
And I never have everyone I know stretches before they skateboard or do anything.
I just go and do it.
And anytime someone has lovingly come up behind me and put their hands on.
My shoulders, they are horrified.
Their hands retract immediately and they're like, good lord, You're like a knotted up stress ball. And I'm like, yeah, I know, I'm sorry yeah.
Then don't put your hands there if you don't like it.
I start, oh my god, driving here.
There is a place in Silver Lake called Pilates Punks, and so with an ax and I slowed down, and sure enough it was a plates class and everyone had purple mohawks.
I almost drove the car off the road. So maybe I can.
I assume they're listening to punk rock two, which seems like it would defeat the calming purpose.
But I mean, no, pilates is supposed to be calming. That's yoga. The pilates is like you're doing some serious stretching and extending of your spine right right, So they're just kind of like, yeah, muscles, because sometimes they do a thing where like you have to lift your heels off the ground and then lift your head off the ground and just stay there for three minutes.
It's hard. Yeah, it is hard.
And I did it a little bit here and it was easy to like cheat and look like you're doing it, but I was not doing it all in my core or where you're supposed to be focusing on. I was just like, you know, using special my own little fallback positions.
And they I think they could tell I was cheating.
Yeah, it's easy to cheat in there and not do it properly, and then you don't get the benefits. I would leave not sweaty, and everyone else would leave sweaty, and I'm like, I'm doing this wrong, and.
They're like, you're only cheating yourself, and then you can turn around and go. If this was nineteen ninety one, you'd all be fucked. You could never name your business this. Everyone would throw molotov cocktails through your front window.
They are very punk rock at Pilate's punks oh darts, screaming about the queen, and I, uh, okay, can you hear? There are my neighbors, and I live up on a hill, so it hasn't bothered me too much. They bought a gaggle of roosters, and famously I thought that roosters only did that in the morning.
But they do it all day.
Yeah, they think at six am all day until and it's dark right now and they're still roostering. I believe it's the proper crowing. They're crowing, yeah, and they will not stop. Why do people have roosters as pets?
That's all.
I just watched a TikTok about how good chickens are for like eating compost and they get rid of a ton of waste and stuff. But it's hard in the city because maybe they're stressed out or something. Yeah, I don't know. I can't hear it though.
Okay, good, Well that's because I got a good mic and I'm using my proper vocal exercises.
You're drawing deep rell, a lot of heavy breathing.
We've got We've hit the hour mark.
We're good.
I hate to leave it on such a floppy dud with that rooster business.
It's like, hey, you want a non sequitur.
I got lightheaded this rooster business started coming out of my mouth.
I'm like, why the hell am I going here? You know what, I knew you couldn't hear the roosters.
I couldn't.
Why bring them up?
Well, you were just trying to You're just trying to find the button. And we do have to allow we have to allow for the art to come in.
I can't believe how much time has passed. You're you know, I mean, it's just the two of us, but it was like you were a fun guest today.
Jump to a what if you button? What if you button? It with your new Year's a new Year's resolution.
Okay, I am going to therapy and I'm gonna see if there are certain pills that I could take that make me consistently happy.
Well, if you find out, will you let me know?
Yes?
No, I think that I've gotten enough messages being diagnosed by everyone but doctors about this ADHD business, and I think that people are onto something the more I think. It's the reason I set aside my three hundred dollars glasses last night. I do have trouble focusing and the times I've not recreationally but just had a bit.
Of an adderall.
I am a winning, high performance version of myself, and you think that that would.
Be a clear sign that.
Maybe I should have it on hand. But honestly, that is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna I'm gonna find a therapist.
And that's a great idea though, I mean, whatever they prescribe you aside and whatever the results, that's huge.
I tell other people to do it all the time. When we do our ads, we're telling people therapy is and I haven't.
I'm admitting that I'm admitting.
It to you and better help and everyone I'm I'm going to do it and I mean it, and you can even follow up, I promise. Okay, it's important that whole area.
Cut that whole area.
Sorry, I didn't mean to lay a big one on you. Now, what's your what's your resolution?
I have to mind stretching, Okay, Like I think that really has to be and I like this idea. Both of us are picking out of the comfort zone things right where it's it's a scary thing to like figure out how to get a therapist or to actually sit there and be like, all right, I'm actually doing this
thing because it's vulnerability with mine. I think it's like I want to get to the point where then I can go take a class and not feel self right, not feel really anything, just kind of go do it and feel fine, because right now my comfort zone is the only place I feel like I ever exist except for like working stuff, but anything else I'm always like, oh, I can't go to that. It's too oh I can't whatever,
And it's like who gives a shit? Like that idea is getting to be It's just like I want to work on it without the excuse of it's supposed to somehow be exactly perfect or like comfortable for me where it's like I'm not comfortable doing physical things really anymore, and I need to get back to it because I used to take pilates classes three times a week, like that was the thing that was just like, yeah, you have to do it. You have to like move around and you remember.
The older I get it felt good? Right, yeah, oh my god, okay, yes you do that. And both the things we're planning on doing is caring about ourselves and that will make us better people. Even I'm just gonna have I'm not even going to have expectations.
I think just doing those things, yes, well makee.
It'll be like an adventure. We'll both be having doing an experiment on ourselves.
Yeah yeah, okay, it's going to be a great twenty twenty four.
You know what it is. I'm gonna start stretching so that I can get ready to consistently play Pickleball's that is my detailed one.
I well, I have your paddle.
It didn't come with the big yellow whiffle ball, but I did see it.
And I can get my hands on one of those.
Yeah yeah, well I will drop this off before I leave Friday awesome.
Perfect, I love that. Okay, great, all right, well then I'll see you soon. Thank you all for listening to us. Whether you've been listening for I don't know, has it been nine years, or for this last year, if you just joined us, whatever it is. Our audience is growing and we're not doing anything to make it happen except for that you guys are coming to listen, and so I just wanted to say we really appreciate you as
an audience. You're some of the nicest, warmest listeners and it's such a it's so fun that we know there's people out there that listeners talk about pickleball. Suddenly we have the best pickleball paddle in the business. Like that kind of support, and Chris gets it all the time when he does his live shows. It's just so lovely. So thank you.
It's been every time I do a show and I meet you guys, it is it. I get emotional. It's we are so lucky that you are all amazing people. And yeah, thank you very.
Much, and thank you Onalis for producing this show with us and for being here and supporting us. And you've been doing it for a while. I don't think we've ever. Thank you on Mike Guest, thanks now, thank you so much. Thank you guys.
I seen that was way better than that rooster shit right.
We can pull out of any rooster hole you dig for it.
I'll be like kicking eye, like a chicken and a breadpan.
With doe picking out doors. Happy holidays, everybody, Happy New Year.
Happy New Year. You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D y n are? This has been an exactly right.
Production produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choy. Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.
Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Thank you, Oh You're welcome.