S3 - Ep. 5 - Aparna Nancherla

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gage.

We want to send you off Instart.

You wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Mal porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do your need you ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris?

Welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgariff.

Hello, Karen, my friend.

Hi, how are you?

I'm good, h I just put the bumper back on my car.

Did it fall off well back when you had a Honda? I don't know.

Towards the end, one of the reasons you wanted to get new cars because you're the lenses of your headlights were gray and yellowing, and they get cloudy, like an old cataract eye. So I ordered, yeah, like an old salty sea I and I ordered new headlights just on Amazon. I looked at my car and there's brand new headlights and they were a one hundred and something dollars, so I ordered them and to put them in. So it's the bulbs and everything and then in one piece of

I had to jack it up.

I had to buy all these little plastic but I saved thousands of dollars.

It is you emotional dollars.

I really I did my brakes.

I did which with a friend, so my friend I watched him do it, but I bet I could do it.

Now there's there's the real answer.

Yeah, my friend did the brakes, and I stood there and said are you okay? For two hours and then yeah, but I'm ready it. It looks great and I was gonna sell it. Now I like it and I'm just gonna drive it the end.

Here's the thing about Hondas, and this is supposed to be a driving podcast, so it is relevant.

They all have an emotional connection the last seven years with this Honda.

That's right, people, The car aspect is missed. Yes here Now that we're all on Zoom, so we talk about cars, so we have to bring cars man introduce our guests.

Yes, But the thing about Hondas is like, there's no reason to sell your Honda because that thing is solid gold and it's going to run until the earth ends, truly.

But in that same conversation, some old, salty, foggy eyed old man will come up and say, but the resale value, and I'm like, okay, but if I sell it, then I.

Gotta buy a new car. And then now it's not a time for that.

No, it isn't no, no, there's no keep a Honda if it's not screwing up on you in any way.

Yep, wait until here's what I did.

I kept my Honda until I got t boned and the whole thing was totaled, and I was lucky. I walked away with my life and then I went, okay, I'll get a different car this time.

That's when I did it.

Yeah, but getting Tea owned sounds pretty cool.

It was oh what I'll tell you. It was loud, it was fast, and I got to know my airbag.

Oh wow, I think now it's a good time to bring our guests in.

Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, you've seen her at clubs and colleges all over the country, but most recently, you've seen her starring on The Great Norse, Oh, which is a wonderful animated series that's on Fox that's brand new or very new. I should say, please welcome a Parna Noncherla.

Hello, how are you? Hi?

Hello? Hi, Hi guys. How's it going?

I'm great? Good I was.

I was like nervous hearing that story, my car accident story. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, it was pretty intense.

Yeah, I seriously have. When I go to sleep, I try to think of good things. I think about h skateboarding and golf and and girls I want to kiss. But every once in a while, a terrible t bone accident where the airbags shoot shards of metal something I've been getting mail about. I got to replace my airbags. I haven't done it yet, but I have. I'm so scared of car wrecks and so traumatized by the one I was in.

They're horrifying, they are.

Have you guys, this is this is going to tie in. Just have faith. Did you guys see the movie Hustlers?

Uh?

Yes?

With ye yeah Jalo's Hustlers.

No, yeah, okay, okay, there's a well do you remember that scene where the main character has a dream where she's in the backseat and the car has no driver in it and it's just cleaning down the road. And I was like, is that a common dream people have, because that.

Is I used to have it all the time.

Really, I had that.

Yes, I had that dream.

And it was the roads and where the town I grew up, and so it was out in the country and it was just this It was middle two Rock Road. It was a downhill, probably a thirty degree angle, and I would be in the backseat of this big Bronco that was racing down this hill and I'd be talking to somebody and joking, and then I would look.

Forward and no one was driving.

And then the rest of the dream would be me trying to get into the driver's seat to put on the brakes, and it was so fucking scary. It would be fun and then scary immediately. And when I finally told someone about that dream, and I had it for months, they were like, your life is out of control.

It's like shit, I really don't like people deciphering your dream analysis.

Thank you.

I people always want to do that, and it's and it's and they're all supposed to mean something. I don't want can it just be a ridiculous dream that everyone.

Has I'm in sometimes it can't uparna. Have you ever been in a car accident or like, do you have any of these kinds of stories.

My first, my first and last driving lesson with my dad was he wanted me to just do loops around high school. That's a classic, you know, first driving scenario. And then he decided I was going to drive home, which was like maybe a five minute drive back, but we had to turn into like a main busy thoroughfare and I was like, I'm not ready for this. I could barely handle an empty parking lot. And he, you know, as many dads do, they were like, you're going to

House that was on the other side of the road.

And then without even putting the car in into park, I just got out.

Of the car and then your dad was in my Yeah. Yeah, there's nobody of the drug.

That is.

That is when I learned that I have. My impulse in emergencies is to flee.

M M yeah wow.

Yeah.

Get out of the car. That's the thing that almost you almost died in. Walk away from it.

Yeah, just walk away, walk away.

Especially before it hits the house. Get out of the in the front yard.

I guess you don't get in a bike rack and then just lay there holding onto the handlebars.

You guys, get it, you guys.

Yeah, yeah, this is a car podcast.

Yeah yeah, I mean we're not done. We're not done talking cars. I mentioned the HP cast.

The first time I got behind a wheel, I associate with the sickening crunch of a white picket fence.

It was a white picket fence.

Oh that's just an all American fence.

Ah well that's wait.

So did you I mean, what kind of trouble did you get into after that?

Was that like your dad's insurance or yeah?

I think it was my dad's insurance and I don't. I think we paid for the fence repairs, but all the only other thing I remember was making cookies for them and taking them over and feeling like somehow it was really dark and dirty that I was like, here, let me just give you these cookies and we can move past this.

Yeah, yeah, that's funny.

Will you be bought with me cookies?

Yes?

I mean I think I was fifteen or something, but I think I just still didn't have any concept of real world consequences, like.

I was a sheltered suburban I you know, yeah, sure.

I mean I took drivers at in high school and we had to watch these.

Boring horror movies. Oh yeah, fake blood in them.

And then at like the middle of the day you would drive, was some driver's head teacher. Yeah, and he for some reason our guy, and that was it was snowy.

It was in the middle of winter in Montana.

We were on a side road, an icy one that was like convex like it was a round not a flat road, and he pulled the emergency brake to see what we would do.

Oh no, no, yeah.

We were driving along. It was just like just going along a road. It's like, why also, we're going up to Blue Mountain the middle of nowhere? Are you gonna murder us? It's just me and my classmate. We both just got brand new porcelain braces.

We don't want to die.

And he banked on the parking break. I'm like what I remember, like why did you do that? And being fifteen and like you're wrong, you're a bad teacher. The car went in a ditch, we had to wait for a tow truck and everything. I'm like, you're so dumb, but.

I was, so he crashed the car.

Yes, it's trying to kill us. There was a cliff on one side. Oh my, my dad has a story of going off that road, Like it's classically where teenagers die since the fifties.

But if you think about it, that would be a really good crime because it's like, oh, it's obviously the student's fault, right, why would it be the driving instruct these newbies.

I guess if the teacher was a murderer and he just wanted to kill teens, he went through the trouble of getting a job, so yes, then he did find an interesting loophole.

But I have a feeling he just he was drunk or something.

I mean, because that's he's not training you for a scenario that ever happens. Right, you're the one that pulls the emergency rate right, not the passenger.

I think his idea was to pull up for a second to get me sliding, so then I would He wanted to see how I corrected, but no, I'm so mad at him. Still we were went in a ditch. Sorry, that story so long, but it just all came flooding back to me, vivid memories of that negligent teacher.

I'm going to tell you vivid memories of our semi negligent driver's aad teacher because in our small town, I went to a private school or the Catholic school, i should say, and the driver's ed classes like the actual in the car. So that's driver's training was at the public school. And so you had to go and you'd get matched up with some kid you didn't know, which apparently was my greatest fear, because I couldn't sleep the night before. I was so scared of like, it's hard

Wait, is this kid even from your school.

Well that's the thing you don't know.

Oh god, that sounds that makes me nervous now I know it's right.

So stressful.

Yeah, it's stressful in that what you have to do.

But then it's also stressful where I'm just like, what if it's a bull, what if it's a cue boy?

And what if this?

And so I was like out of my mind. I show up.

It's my friend Patty Leoni, who I've gone to school with since sixth grade.

I was like, oh, it's you.

Great.

So then we get into the car at Peddlum High School and he has one of us drive.

I think Patty drove first, and.

Literally we drove two blocks to the donut shop and he's like, well, I'm going to get some donuts and some coffee.

You can come in if you want to.

And so then you spend an hour at the donut shop with him, where he goes and sits with his friends and eats donuts and drinks coffee. And we just sat there and had a donut and hung out. And then he gets you back in the car and then you drive a little longer and then you're done.

He was drunk too, or hungover. Oh, you need to have your coffee. Huh rough night.

It's like he's that's he's starting his morning literally by like just driving, like okay, turn around here, all right, stop the car, We're going to get donuts.

But a part of you grew up you're from Washington, DC, where you like from the city.

Did you have to learn to drive and know?

I was from the suburbs.

Oh, it's just easier to tell people the city because then you seem cooler.

Yeah yeah, yeah, like you're a lobbyist or something.

But I do I do feel like the people I knew who grew up in like cities proper, some of them still don't know how to.

Drive, right, Yeah, either become a stressed out driver person ye, or you just don't. Like there's so many New Yorkers I know that never they had to learn to drive here.

Remember Paula F.

Thompkins, a grown man, he had he learned to drive like a decade ago really.

Because he's from Philly.

He took trains everywhere, and his dad was a train conductor or worked for the trains. Very big on trains.

Yeah, yeah, that's funny.

Of like in his family, they were like no sign of mine will drive a car?

Why does every person need their own personal little train?

You started stand up in DC? Also, right, I did?

I did?

Did you do the first annual Benson Ball?

Yeah?

I did?

Is that where we first cross pet?

No? No, I just weep.

But that was another time. We just were passing and I didn't know anyone yet, and I was wow, just you know in that that's we were probably in the same room back.

Yeah, I remember every all the local comics were so excited about that because it was like all these big weeks from LA coming to our little town.

Oh wow, Yeah. Who else is Aaron Jackson? Is she from DC?

Aaron Jackson's also from DC?

Yeah?

Yeah, I worked with her the one time I did the improv there.

Mikeigli is from DC.

Yeah.

Yeah. There's a bunch of Rory Scobels from there.

I mean, he's not from there, but that's where he starts stand up.

Okay, that's I remember meeting him.

Yeah, And he'd been to it stand up like six months and I'm like, why is this guy funnier than me?

He's funnier than everybody, you know what it is?

Though, Here's the.

Thing about Mary sco he is you should definitely hate him because.

So funny to be funnier than me.

Yeah, Rory Scoville has what I call the hilarious accent. He reminds me of Will Ferrell, where it's not what he's saying, it's the way he talks. It's just like that is he is a man who is tapped into this the hilarious absurdity of life or something where he's he's just kind of ribing you, is what it feels like.

Yeah, how is that an accent? But yeah, it's his accent. This is about to be funny.

It's the way he talks.

It's a manner of speaking. Yes, I don't know what it is. There's a little drawl to it, but it's mostly just like I remember watching him do that bit where he's going by the grocery aisle and I was like, I was laughing so hard, but in my mind I was like, why is this so funny?

Why is this so funny? And it just like it's him.

Yep, yep, that's it.

It's the comedian. That's the funny part.

Yeah, wait a minute, I just realized something. It's not the material, it's the brain in the mouth.

A part of how did you first think you wanted did you stand up? Or who did you see? Or why did you get that idea in your head?

Great cue.

I think I I honestly came to stand up very uninformed and uneducated, like I had seen a hand, like just a tiny bit of it growing up, Like I think I knew Seinfeld was a comedian and Ellen DeGeneres.

That was my range of experience.

And then in high school I was friends with like a guy who was just like a funny guy, a class clown. I was like, like, I like what he's up to, but I was pretty low key, so I just kind of observed him from a distance. I was like, Okay, let me see how he sort of operates. And then I I think he gave me a Mitch Hedberg CD to listen to. He was like, you're gonna love this guy is really funny. I thought he was so funny. And then I think he was like, I'm going to

Yeah.

Do you think you were lightly in love with that class clowne?

Oh yeah, I think I was lightly in love with all men for many years.

You were just Woever, I just noticed that you said you were from a distance watching how he operates, and I'm like, yes, and I never say that phrase.

No one should. I'm sorry I did.

Yeah, but I think even I think it's that thing people say of like oh I just want a guy who can make me laugh or something like. I think in my teens, I was very much of that mindset where I was like, he made a joke, Wow, he's got it all.

Yeah, when people you know, in someone's bio, it says, I like a sense of humor. I always want to go, oh, grow up, that's for teenagers. Don't if you don't know how annoying and sick of me you will get.

What I love is that you would.

I always see that where it's like, that's what girls always say, and then guys are just like, yeah, hot girls only.

But I have all these jokes. Hold on a second, don't count me out yet.

I know. I feel like guys it's like the opposite. They're disappointed you are funny or trying to be funny.

I noticed that with my sister.

She was a little older than me, and she told me about all of her dates, and I just thought that every guy probably had a huge crutch on her and they were always intimidated by her.

Being smart and funny. Yeah, that always puzzled me.

Well, I think it's the kind of thing that now I think is funny, but it used to enrage me. Is when guys it's clear they don't expect you to try to be funny or ye, so that when you're doing it, they'll like, there's nothing where someone someone answers a joke with an honest like a direct, plain response where just the second that I have an exchange like that with someone, I'm like, I have to leave right now. I can't expose myself to this anymore.

Yeah, that guy, I can't believe he didn't answer sarcastically.

Yes, yeah, I don't want to hear your sincere goddamn thoughts.

That's not what I'm here, that this was a date were doing.

For some reason, I have like this bias about this's gonna sound weird. I have a bias against models, like I think none of them have a sense of humor, Like, even if they have proven otherwise, I like my mind refuses to believe. It's like, you can't look like that and be funny or know how to think something's funny.

Yeah, I've noticed that really really, really good looking people can still learn later. They didn't have to establish it to survive while in school, right like I did. But later on it's like, wait, you pick this up in your twenties and thirties or something, because I have met very funny, beautiful people.

Yes, yeah, no, they're out there.

It happens all that day. I'm time these.

Days, especially in Los Angeles.

Yeah, now, especially with social media that's the kind of thing I love about the dawn of social media and Twitter and stuff, where all those that I told myself to make myself feel better or comfort myself, it's like.

I'm the only funny one in the world.

And it's like you're in the middle of all the funny people and look at there, look at them these days, Like these days with TikTok and everything, it's like you see those front facing comedians where you're just like, oh, that's a good idea, that's funny.

Wow, you have no pores.

Like how what is life like for you? It's it must be amazing. It's like all doors open, God, congratulations.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think Also when I started comedy, it was like pre YouTube, so I think I just I didn't have any references or like I didn't know how to seek out comedians that I would be into, whereas now I feel like it's sort of all at your fingertips and like you're saying, like you can just be like I like this, and then TikTok will be like here's seven hundred more examples of that for you.

Yes, yeah.

Or there's like when u seb started, it's almost like all those people that wouldn't have been able to be the self starters that would go do a stand up like open mic. Suddenly we're like, but I do know how to learn, so I can take a class and maybe I can tap into something. It really I think it's really good in a lot of ways, like the amount of people that learn improv and and can actually

To me, the biggest obstacle was mailing VHS tapes or even DVD. The fact that I had to do that package these VHS tapes and DVDs to send them to clubs. That's what's I'm jealous of everyone that's like, Eh, here's a.

Link, are you gonna book me?

In the email that I sent the link to the thing in good, it's done. That took ten minutes. I used to toa that go to the post.

Even the idea of someone like putting in a VHS tape to be like, let me see what you got. She's down so bad.

Yeah, it's like from antiquity, that idea. It was so long ago, and it was like, but it was when I was young. I also remember getting in trouble when I started stand up in San Francisco because I had started in I started open mics in Sacramento and did you know, a handful of shows and then got into a car accident and my mom made me move home because she's like, I don't know what you're doing up there, but this is the third car accident you got into,

I never did that.

And I think Paton Olswealt has just moved to town too, and he was like, yeah, you got to call around and I was like, eh, no, it was disgusting, that idea of like what I'm not going to ask for anything, like they don't know who I am.

He's like, no, you have to, like that's part of it.

So when I went to do a set at the Holy City Zoo, because I hadn't gone and like paid my you know, dues or like gone and tried to meet anybody, I'd just gone and like stood in the back or whatever there was, apparently it was like they were mad because then I got booked on a show. It was that weird thing where I was just like, how is this the way it goes? Like how is this the way shows get booked? It just seemed so strange. Yeah, and embarrassing.

It's embarrassed.

I still like fell embarrassed.

I feel like I have a.

Career in this business or it's still do and I've never I won't ask anyone for shows and it's wrong and I should, but I don't because it's humiliating.

It's humiliating email if.

They don't get back to you, then you feel bad for days. Ah.

Or you have the people that are kind of doing shows so that they can wield that power over people. Oh yeah, you've met those people where it's just like what's oh, this is a personality type of like no, maybe you can call me back, you know, or email me in two weeks maybe I'll have a set for you then, or it's just like no thanks.

Yeah. Yeah.

It makes them feel like they have a career in comedy because they're making decisions sure, yeah, yeah, putting people in categories.

It's like, yeah, I feel like every show now has a producer, like a go between, so that you don't have to the comics don't have to directly deal with booking because we all have such good people skills.

Yeah.

Do you guys remember the commercials.

I think they were for the Art Institute or some technical school where they go, Hi, i have a career in the music business, but I'm not a musician, and then they go back to like fixing an amplifier or something. I always think of that I have a career in the comedy business, but I'm not a comedian.

And then they call.

Someone, yeah, you can't do my show for another month. The answer is no, Oh man, I want to go to the Art Institute and learn how to judge other people. Even in art school, the fact that there was a major that was artistic criticism. There was a oh, I know how to talk about art. I don't do it, but I know how to talk about it, and I've studied it and I knew people that academically.

It was really interesting how they.

Saw They could talk about the evolution of art through the ages in different parts of the world for out, but they can't draw paint. And I'm like, why would you be so interested in something without actually doing it? Now I respect it more. It seems like I'm talking shit about art history majors or whatever, which I'm not.

Chris, I don't want to get those.

On.

This is a powerful group you're attacking.

Yeah, they are out there with their corduroy, fucking elbow patches and their wild eyebrow hairs.

Part of when you moved to New York, did you have like a good kind of like stand up situation going in DC and then you moved to New York or did you.

I think I actually I moved to LA first.

Yeah, I remember.

Yeah, I was there for just under two years, so not that long. But I had done comedy in DC and then I was dating Hamhampton.

Time and you guys moved in with our friend Harry. That was so long ago. Yeah, yeah, I remember when you rolled into it.

Oh my god.

Well you were on shows immediately and you were funny.

Yeah, I think we were. We were just trying. Yeah, I don't know.

It feels so long ago, but I feel like when you moved to a new scene, you're sort of just like, I better put in put in my FaceTime at all the shows.

You're so good at stand up and I miss seeing you do it.

Yeah.

I feel like I haven't been on a show with you for multiple, multiple years, but it used to be pretty normal. We kind of you were immediately in the mix.

Is it called the Yeah, I think it's called Yeah.

You were in the mix right away with two ex'es.

But then I moved to New York for a writing job, so then I've been here much longer.

Yeah, I haven't seen you for a long time. I just see you on things.

You know, what if I was just avoiding you this see.

That's what it is. Did I did I offend you? Are you an art historian?

Writing job?

Did you get it was a totally biased?

Yeah?

Have you come out?

Yeah?

Yeah, so I moved for that, and I will say if you moved somewhere with like a job or something, it definitely helps open some doors where people are like, oh, yeah, you're here for a reason, I can make some space for you.

For three minutes.

That was such a cool period in time. He and I did some show in San Francisco for like MMA fighters and Raiders football players and they were great.

They loved it. They were so sweet. They have an outlet.

And then I think it was a few weeks later I heard that it's I think, didn't Chris Rock see him and like immediately say you're great? Yeah?

I think so.

I think it was off of like his one hour show yeah that he was doing. Yeah, I feel like that's the that's such a Hollywood story though, right where it's like I think Chris Rock saw my show and he was like, I'm going to make you a stuff.

Yeah.

I think that was the first I had heard of that actually happening. Since you know when you first start and you're like, oh, I'm going to just for laughs, that's where people get handed of sitcom or whatever it is. No, it isn't, that doesn't happen. You just care about it happening in like that eighties or whatever when there was twenty five comedians to choose from.

Yeah, but with w Ca mal Bell it actually happened.

Yeah, and I remember you getting you being a writer on that show.

Yeah, it was fun.

It was I guess maybe it's sort of followed the Daily Show model where it was like you could write and perform on it as well, which was which was cool that he let us do that.

Yeah, you did that with Guy Brenham, right, Yeah.

Yeah, I think Guy was there starting the second season.

Oh got it.

But yeah, it was It was a good bunch of people.

I do think it was a lot of Bay Area people who started there who yeah, were obviously friends with comaland but it was a nice sensibility.

Yeah, that was a great show.

And then basically you got to get set because you kind of had a job nee people, you know, like you got to Yeah.

I mean, I guess it's like when you start, you just need that one first credit, and then it's sort of like, oh, now that I have something hosts can say about me, I'm better.

Yeah.

Wait, clubs and colleges all over the country doesn't isn't as good as.

I don't ever stop saying it, Karen. It's funny and the right people get it. And you've done colleges, and I'm sure I have no I don't know.

About you guys, but colleges always pretty hit or miss for me.

Oh, I find them predominantly missy.

You do, I always say hit and missus.

This is plural.

I some of my worst stand up memories are getting booked in colleges when not only did I not have an hour, I barely had half an hour, and thinking that I could kind of like do what I thought would work was which literally at one show and I was in a tiny room that had carpeted walls. It was almost like an acoustic music side theater at this some college back us.

Yeah.

Yeah, because when it's silent in the room, you want it to be in a sound.

Proofed room, you have the energy to get sucked into the material on the wall.

Yeah.

I hear the layers of silence.

Yeah, just like all laughs get sucked in the carpet. And I was in a full sweat panic. And at one point I said, how about A Q and A. Does anyone want to know anything about Hollywood? It was half sarcastic and half just like I don't know what to do anymore. I burned through every half joke I've ever written.

And I it seems like a weird plan B to have. But no comedy clubs used to do that. They'd have a Q and A with some soap star. I remember, like even in Austin, they're like, oh, there's a special event this week. It's a guy from Days of Our Lives and then yeah, and there'd be a line out the door.

Oh yeah, because their fans are like really loyal.

Yeah, yeah, and they want to know when's your twin with a goatee coming back with your wife's ghost.

I don't know, I've never really watched it.

So I actually learned that lesson working on daytime television, daytime talk shows, they had a packet, like when anytime a guest would accidentally or there'd be an emergency and they would fall out and they'd have to the booking department to have to replace.

The guests really quickly.

They'd have to go in and pitch like, here's all the people available. And I remember like there are certain people that they would be like, well, we could get so and so I would be like, are you talking about Marlena from Days of Our Lives?

And I'd be like, is that a good booking?

And they're like, look at the Q rating And they actually had a packet and it was celebrities rated an order of audience popularity and number one was like Riba, and then like the top fifty were totally like Sprinkle with all soap opera stars. Yeah, so the best thing you could do was start on a soap opera and then get like a TV series or like a movie because those people, everyone will tune in for them, All of their fans will tune in on a.

Talk show for them. So like that's how it was.

That kind of thing where I was just like, oh, this is actually how Hollywood work. Yeah I think, yeah, I think I know how it works. And it's like, no, you have no, you have no idea. Soap operas are like bread and butter.

Yeah, well, it's like apparent when you mentioned YouTube. There was the realization about a decade ago when there is these YouTube billboards around town that just had some you know, like you said, some kid with no pores and uh it says two million, oh yeah views or whatever, and it's like wait a minute. I wasn't supposed to be in dark bars the last twenty years. Are supposed to be on the computer, yeah, or you're supposed to be

There was one period of time after I lost my job and I went into a deep depression and I just truly, for like eighteen months, laid on the couch and watched every episode of ncish okay because they have what seemed like hundreds of seasons. I mean like it just kept going, yeah, and it is really entertaining. Mark Harmon is a delight to look at and listen to.

He's handsome. I acknowledge that.

He's handsome from like the seventies. He was a quarterback in college, I think for UCLA. Then he went on to like be mister hot in movies. Then he goes on NCIS as like the Salt and Pepper Daddy in charge of the Navy investigations.

Salt and Pepper Daddy, and he has.

The same reaction to people could come in and be like four people were beheaded over at the naval base, sir, and he'd be like, let's get over there, and then he throws it you, son of a bitch, and you'd be like, I won't take that from you. It's all the y and if you're having a hard time in life, that kind of consistency is really soothing.

It like worked for me.

Wow, it worked.

Yeah, And I feel like, yeah, soap operas are the same way, Like, even though it's high drama, it's all within this certain range.

Yep.

You're never going to get someone coming in just like I don't know, Yeah.

I guess those formula shows where you just watch it, Like The House House was like that, where it's like, oh, we don't know what's wrong with this person.

Fifteen minutes into this story.

We've tried everything, and he's like, I just because I spilled my coffee, I realized there might be a clog and a weird artery. And they're like, you're a loose cannon House. Are you drunk again? And then they're like, oh my god, House was right, and then they apologize to him, actually.

You're wrong.

The test came back house you're wrong, and then everyone to get all freaked out and then you know, then eleven minutes later they'd be like it.

Turned out he was right.

Yeah, like oh thank god, thank god, oh god.

Yeah, there had to be some like push and pull.

I also think when you're like depressed or you are kind of stuck in a loop. So like, if a show is essentially just groundhog dang itself, that's yeah, You're like you're on the same page as me, yes, because it's like every day it's like, oh, life is hard and I hate myself, and then the show will do the thing and then we'll do it again tomorrow.

Oh that's funny. I get it. See.

That's how I got into the Kardashians. There was there was a Kardashian Marathon and I was on that couch. I bet you I'd finished up in Sais and I was like, what am I going to do? And this Kardashian Marathon started and I started watching it purely as a hate watch of let's see these Yeah, and literally twenty episod later, I was like, I just want to be with them forever.

Again.

They're very even keel.

They don't really even when they're fighting, they don't actually raise their voices or have any passion or emotion truly, they're just kind of like, I can't believe you did that, and their face doesn't move and you're just like, yeah, why did you do that?

It goes down easy.

Have you guys ever seen it's on YouTube?

But the mom, whose name is Chris, Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, she way back when she was married to Ojay's lawyer, made a music video to the tune of I Love La by Randy Newman, but instead she'd say I love my friends, and then she would get people to turn to the camera and go, we love you. They she would just get and Ojay was one of them.

We love you. Yeah, all these random celebrities.

She's just like just looking at the camera and say you love me, say we love you. And it was all these celebrities because she wanted to showcase that she knows these celebrities.

And with a catchy song and she's singing.

It opens with her running on a treadmill singing the beginning.

Please just watch it. I can't even think about it with U.

It exists, and it's real creepy because it's it's oj with Nicole I Believe, like we love you like it was during that era and her husband was about to be his lawyer a couple of years later, and the kids, like Kim and all the kids, they're little girls in it with little matching dresses and they're like, we love you, like.

Holding huge solid.

So they were.

Yeah, I'm saying it wasn't botox. They were just born that way.

Kim is a visionary, I mean, sorry, Chris christ Jenner is a visionary. Yes, yeah, I mean Kim is too in her own way, but Chris Jenner, I don't know how the idea that she knew enough to be like, sure, we're just some random family, but let's get in on.

This reality show thing. Yeah yeah, why shouldn't we.

So she right away she's like, I gotta make a music video. And this is pre YouTube. She's like, I'm gonna make it go viral. She was licking envelopes, putting that VHS side and.

Sending it out.

Somehow someone uploaded it at one point, and I'm sure she'd be embarrassed about it.

It's don't you think though?

That to me smacks of it was someone's like fortieth birthday.

Yeah, yeah, they're like, you know what would be fun?

Yes, yeah, but it was a gift to herself that she filmed her celebrity friends all turning the camera and saying we love you on their new steam Bay editing system.

That is a specific anyway. Oh that's so.

That is really visionary too. Even know that you could be reality famous before that was.

Its right, Yeah, I think she and her kids kind of invented it. Right.

I can't think of a big example other than.

The Osbourne's kicked it.

Oh sure, I.

Mean the Osbourne's were the one that I was like, in my mind, I was like, oh, reality show, that's quote unquote bad. And then I watched the Osbourne's and I was like, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen, Kelly Osborne saying to her brother. Her brother said something about a black guy having good rhythm, and Kelly Osbornd goes.

That's racialist.

I said it for like five years after it was the funniest, best.

Thing at least with that show, though he before all that was Ozzy Osbourne.

At least there was that establishing practice.

Yes, yes, right, there's a reason you were supposed to be interested in the home life that was a good show.

I think that just reminded me.

I think Jack Osborne was one of the the first celebrity sighting I had when I moved.

To La Oh. Where was he perfect?

He was at Swingers Diner, Yes, and I didn't recognize him. I have terrible celebrity recognition skills. But someone at my table was like, he knows Jack Osborne And then they were like, should I go say hi? And we all everyone else at the table was like, no, you.

Don't do that.

That's not cool, and they really were like struggling with their decision. They were like, I should go, I should go say hi, And I was still like trying to understand who Jack Osbourne was.

Yeah, Swingers. We used to go there quite a bit with our friend April Richards.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And one time this guy was there who had this really great outfit on and one of the parts of his outfit where he had these white polka dot pants on and the polka dots were like a pastel different colors.

Yeah, I was there for this. I remember those parents, were you here for this?

So she got up and was like, hey, dude, those pants are awesome. It was Chance the rapper. He was like he was like I designed them, and they had this whole conversation and I watched it all happen and I was just like, this is That's exactly how a celebrity interaction should go. That the celebrity likes because you're not coming up and like freaking.

I don't know what.

It's like. You're talking about something specific and you're being sincere and authentic, and then like they get to talk about what they want to talk about. Yes, and then you just get and then you peel back and go eat your tuna sandwich.

Oh my god. That sounds like a masterclass.

Yeah.

That's for anyone in LA wanting to connect.

If you want.

If you see a celebrity, just pretend you don't know they're a celebrity and get really excited about their pants. Yes, and that's how you become friends with famous people.

Are those talkers? Everyone proud of their pants?

But I'd screw it up and say, are those bugle boys?

Oh shit, they don't make those anymore super loud? Do you peg your bugle boys? Pegging used to be something totally different.

A different thing.

Yes, you would fall and roll your pants?

Is that your favorite celebrity siding that you ever had in LA or just your first.

I think my favorite one was Fred Durst.

Oh where was he?

Cheebo near meltdown?

Yeah, I wasn't a big limp biscuit guy.

I wasn't either.

I don't like the rock rap hybrid that was coming out at early two thousands.

It was big, it was.

But one time I had an interview at something and he was one of the I had these jokes and I was trying to get people to tell these skateboarding jokes, and of course no one wanted to do it.

I didn't want.

To see your red carpet job.

Yes, yes, that yeah, yeah it was. It was thank you, thank you for doing that.

I just showed up unannounced, No that I was supposed to be there. It was a red carpet thing. Thank you, and he was. He took it so seriously. He's like, I think it would be better if I memorized them first.

Can I come back?

And he went off the red carpet and Fred Durst wait, is that the killer?

No? He did.

He did a comedy.

Robert Durst came out.

He changed all the jokes to be very dark. No, Fred Durst went and memorized them all and then he and he nailed it. He pretended to be a cheesy nightclub comic and he had all the jokes memorized and he's like, how was that? I'm like, good the thing started. No one's here anymore. He wasted all his time. I'm doing my little thing. And then they didn't At the bottom,

No, it isn't. That's Fred Durst.

It's so embarrassing we did him Durst so dirty?

Sorry Fred?

So wait, did you did you talk to Fred Dirt?

Yeah?

Would you say? No?

I think it would never occur to me to actually approach a celebrity. I think I just I'm like, there's nothing I could say to them that they haven't heard before. But also I wasn't a big enough Fred Durst fan to have anything of note to say to him.

But I do remember he was wearing all white.

Which I thought was very brave, at a restaurant, and he had a huge posse. He was like at a table of like fifteen or sixteen people, and I was like.

Yeah, he's surrounded by musicians, so he doesn't make a fool.

Yeah, I guess so I recognize anyone. Yeah, yeah, but I think I mean, this sounds condescending, but I think I was like.

Oh, good, he's still out.

Now you've seen him.

Now he's got like this kind of blonde, wavy seventies game show host hair, and he wears like big orange sunglasses and dresses like he's golfing.

Whoa, and he does all.

He's still he looks very much like he wouldn't be making limp biscuity music and he still goes out there. And uh and you know that's the all for the Nookie or whatever his song. Sure wait they have faith. Yeah, yeah, he's big in their comeback because he's got this hair. He grew out his hair and he's like, people got to see this my hair.

Grow Now that's the reason story.

Yeah, I didn't know I looked like the host of the dating game. But yeah, I oddly I know exactly what you're saying. I'm happy to see he's still out there, even though when he was young, I wasn't happy to see he was out there.

I also like in La when you see celebrities and they're wearing all white.

That's such.

It's like because I used to see Giovanni Ribisi all the time in Los Felis, and to the point where one time I was already at a Farfalla on Hillhurst and he walked in and looked at me and went like that. I was like, I was already here, dude, I was here first, No way. Yeah, But because we kept seeing each other, I think he thought I was stalking him, and it's just like this truly is by chance. But then it's like, how am I stalking you? When

But it looks like.

You're in a costume.

To just like throw on some jeans and you'll blend in perfectly.

Yeah, it seems like a funny thing to wear all white, like a rich person would wear all white.

That seems like a cartoon.

But it is like, we don't want to wear white because you have to laundry again, it's a sign of success.

It's so unrealistic.

I get coffee on these pants, I throw them away.

They're them in my fireplace.

I don't think I own white pants. I think my confidence is that low.

Yeah, I didn't, and I know I don't because I was. I could have used them for my Halloween costume. I had a lab coat. I'm like, where do I get white pants? Well, don't own any time to get some, time to get some.

Got to wait? What were you for Halloweenabarna?

Yeah? What did you do?

I dress up?

You guys?

I know, my god, I had people over though I had a Halloween party, but we didn't. Oh, I guess I had a creepy mask. My boyfriend got us bull of creepy masks. We each just wore a creepy cat mask. But they were like dollars store cat masks. So they were even more horrifying because they were probably repurposed from like, you know, paint, like people painting or something, and like, I don't know, like home, I don't even know what I'm saying.

Do you guys remember the masks?

They're plastic, and they're kind of transparent when they have a mustache and eyebrows and everything from it on them. But you you put it over your face and you can still see your face underneath this.

They are so creepy.

And I remember my grandparents coming over when I was a little kid, and I remember them walking in and they both had these transparent, these translucent shells of another face over their face and I was like, I'm gonna die.

They are murdered. This is a it's still and I have a photo of it.

It's the scariest photo ever that that is the creepiest mask.

We have so many.

Well, I would argue because one year my parents got this is such a seventies thing too. My parents had my mom was wearing an alien mask and my aunt Jean was wearing like a it was a monkey mask, but the monkey looked like it had been through.

Some shit, so it was just like and they walked in like hi girl. The most upsetting. It's so funny.

We have pictures of all of it too, And my friend Amy actually did a painting because there's we have a picture of me wearing the alien mask and my sister wearing I think the monkey mask.

But like little kid bodies but adult size.

Sounds so scary.

I just like a fun fact about the Mike Myers Halloween mask is actually William Shatner mask.

Right, You get like a mold of Shatner's face for something else, for Star Trek or something.

Yeah, and then you like sue them.

Oh really, that's great.

He doesn't love to play along at all, but it is kind of genius that one of the scariest masks ever is just William Shatner painted white.

He sued them, but he's known for ripping off songs like rocket Man and blurs common people.

I love my friends, we love you, okay, I love you fine, we love you.

Say it with more meaning.

It's like you can tell the Kardashians that you're for Christmas.

Got one of those recorders, Yeah, yeah, recorders the phone on it.

Yeah, you're just like, well, Robert will come over to your house and we'll just record you real quick.

It's just for my birthday video.

Yep, oh my god, that is what it is. I I encourage you both and everyone listening to watch.

Yes, it is. It's very entertaining.

If I if it's not online, I will find it and somehow please post it.

If it's not online, you're going to find it anyway. Right at the library.

People know I'm on the social media, you'll just check in with me.

That even stresses me out now, Like I can't imagine what was like in the nineties, but now when people are like, oh, let's just make like a video real quick, I'm like, immediately so stressed.

Yeah, I got a shower and do stuff. I gotta put stuff in my hair. I can't do it now.

Yeah, I have showed up to so many podcast recordings and that's when I find out that the whole thing is also being video where I'm just like, I didn't do my hair, Like I realized that's my job. But it's like it's understanding this audio recording. Yeah, where it's like I would have put my eyebrows on and done my whole thing, but now I'm just here with bad hair.

Fine, let's do this.

Like I it's so crazy, And then it's like lives on the internet forever, so frustrating.

Yeah, I was trying to explain it to some recently where I was I didn't I didn't get into comedy to do boomerangs, but that's what I feel like I'm paid to do.

Yeah, yes, yeah, you've been doing a lot of voice work on animated show, Like were you on Bob's Burger's too?

Yeah?

Yeah, Yeah, that's a gig where you can just show up in sweats and not worry.

Yeah, that's the whole that's the whole cell on is like, you just show up.

They don't have to see your face.

That's great, it's the dream. Well, you have a distinctive voice. I'm really you never notice if someone has a voice for that can be used in animation. But I'm just now realizing you have a great voice.

Oh I was gonna say, I feel like everyone on this zoom has a distinct Oh.

We should all be successful in the world of animation, that specifically us.

Yeah.

So basically you guessed it on Bob's Burger's. And is that how you got the Great Norse.

I think that's how I was on their radar because it is by two Bob's Burger's writers. So I think that's how I sort of like they were familiar with, like my voice and.

Yeah, yeah, and how is it? Do you have some anecdotes you want to tell?

I mean, it's funny because a lot of our recording has been after pandemic stuff, so it's all been like over zoom, and it's been a little odd in that way of like I've recorded so much of it just in a little booth in my home.

Sure, oh wow, that's even more. Yeah, you don't even leave the house. It's the past.

Yeah, which is great.

But I think it's funny to do like a family comedy and then be like and everyone recorded by.

Themselves separately and alone.

Yeah, but I just don't know how they edit it all together to make it sound like coherent. I still don't really understand how to do it.

Yeah.

Now we're finally like doing group records again, where it's like you can play off of each other and yeah, but for a long time, it was just like the director being like, Okay, give me that one more time, and you're like, okay, could.

You tell when you watched that it wasn't the same?

No, I mean that that's the thing. They're like really good at making it seem cohesive. Editors, man, I know, yeah, unsung heroes.

Have you ever seen the audio editor the way when they go into like a line of audio where they can go in and pull it apart and go in and pull it apart, so they can literally go in and like take a noun out. I mean like I used to watch Eban Schletter do audio editing all the time, and that thing where it's like if you do something, they can like take the piece that you just recorded and then they basically stretch it on the screen and

Like how did they used to do it compared to how they do it now.

No, even when we're editing my comedy special, I was like, I can't enunciate. It's like I have marshmallows in my mouth. And we went in and made it to where the words sounded. There was a strong consonant there because I mush mouthed it. Yeah you know whoa yeah, magic, Thank you editors.

I've always been saying this, the real heroes are behind the camera.

Yeah, that's so true. I'm not an actor, but I work in the movie.

Business and the knobs Yeah, yeah, there's gotta be knobs. Yeah, my friend and I used to always do that. There was a light table if you're at a light table, and I was just I was drawing pictures for t shirts. But it's like, I'm not a fashion designer, but I am in the clothing business. We used to always act it out. It's my favorite do it at home. It's a fun thing to act out. You'll see, I haven't seen the commercials, so I guess it doesn't make sense.

Parna.

I always see the tweets of the butter Boy comedy show in North City. It always makes me really happy because it's usually a bunch of people that I really like. You do that with May Higgins, right, the great May.

Megan Higgins and Joe Firestone.

Oh, she's so hilarusly.

Funny, very very funny, and it's so nice.

It's like one of the main shows I've been keeping up with in terms of live performing. And it's just like a weekly show of hanging out with your friends and then seeing some very funny comedy. So it's like a Brooklyn show. And it used to be I guess Kurt Browneller and Kristin Charles's show, like way back when it was called Hot Tough, and then it became why it's the next show it was night Train and now it's.

In the iteration of Butterboy with us nice and is it is it at the Bellhouse? It's at Little Field. Oh okaych is like kind of a sister venue.

I guess, Oh okay, awesome.

I was just see I would see those tweets and I'm like, I wish I could go to that show tonight because it's always like you know, it's always a bunch of really good people.

Yeah, yeah, I see that with New York shows. I'm noticing that. I'm like, lately, like, should I have moved to New York when I panic, oh, half a year ago, it's too late. Now I live here, I have a garage.

But I feel like Deli has shows like that. Like I remember even before I moved to La in DC, I was like, yeah, see like show posters from and be like.

Oh, what's it? Like? Yeah, yeah, show in Glenda.

There's plenty of parking.

Like it does seem so exotic if you're outside of a scene to be like, wow.

Now, did you guys do zoom shows in like the in Quarantine.

We did for a while, like our producer Mariann Ways, she was like one of the first people to like immediately get a Zoom show going, and it was definitely interesting. I don't know if you guys did a lot of Zoom shows, but it's I did, very much its own thing.

Yeah, separate from comedy.

It's separate from joy, the feeling of joy or happiness. It's like it's got its own little category right next to sucking really bad.

Yeah, but yeah, it's different. It's different.

But it was like some.

People would come in and very much it was like they were just doing stand up, Like they would have a whole setups, a fake brick.

Behind them, and then other people would be like, we're just going to talk to you because this is humiliating.

Right, Yeah, And honestly, I will say it put me in a new Habit was stand up where I'm telling more stories and I'm not I used to be into one liners and that's kind of not the way I'm thinking anymore. And I think it's because of the last couple of years. I'm just now realizing that. Yeah, which, you know, everything happens for a reason. It's the point God, the Lord, when he works he's.

Ways or mysterious.

Chris is doing the Bible party.

I think it was First Corinthians. Just kidding, I don't know.

That's only my friends.

Hey, Jesus, I love my Lord. He was he loves me. He's on a cross, he loves me.

Oh sorry, visual I yeah, it's also I've realized a partner my Nieces. Your mannerisms and you you remind me of my nieces where teenage.

Yeah yeah, there, they would like you a lot.

I'll just say that if you ever met my nieces, I would just kind of watch you guys interact because you they remind me of you.

It's what I'm saying, and.

That actually makes me think.

Have you guys ever had that where someone's like you remind me of another person and then you're kind of distroyed.

Oh no, yeah, the world.

I wasn't saying. I wasn't saying that this was an example of that.

Yeah.

I feel like children are pure and faultless, but I feel like when people are like, oh, my friend is just like you, like you love each other, it makes you feel like, yeah, you're a copy.

Yeah.

Here he is next to his eighteen wheeler. That's like, oh great, that's.

At our live shows.

Sometimes we meet people like there'd be a greed at the end, and every once in a while it would make me laugh so hard, or sometimes it would just make me stand there. But there would be someone that would come up and go, I'm just like you, I'm a total bitch.

Who it would just be like, awesome, great.

It's the thing where I knew what they were, I knew what they meant, I knew what they were trying to do, which is basically say I relate to you, yes, and I think everything is fucking bullshit and I'm not afraid to show it or whatever.

But it's a totally different thing with them, just like.

There she is the bitch, I relate to you, or yeah, that word.

It's different for other people.

It's like, yeah, it's to me, it's always been a really bad word. But what they're telling you, it's like you don't put up with people, and you let them know that they can't overstep. It's an empowering version of it. But in my house, you can't say the B word. It's up there with the C word.

It's well, you know what it is. It's just I can myself a bitch all the way. Oh yeah, and I certainly will act like a bitch, but you're not allowed to say it. You're not allowed to just high five me and say it. But it's that, it is that kind of thing where I think it's learning that I'm not interested in other people's impression of me. It's just like, yeah, I don't I don't want to know. It's hard enough without getting some honest, uh, you know, feedback that I didn't ask for.

Yeah, that's that's funny because that reminds me in therapy where it's like sometimes I'll have like a low opinion of myself and my therapists.

Will be like, talk to you yourself the.

Way a friend would talk to you, And I was like, I really don't want to see myself through other people's eyes either.

That also.

Also bad.

Before we wrap up, I want to know about this the holiday comedy that's going to be on Comedy Central.

It's like a.

Caper movie about I guess usually a holiday movie would be like Christmas, but it's the new.

Holiday of well, it's called Hot Mess. Holiday right around the Corner is coming out on the eleventh, and.

It's great to see you. Yeah, and it's so nice to talk to you. I mean to really actually get to have a nice chat with you.

It's very fun and I want to see you do stand up again. So arrange that.

Oh my gosh, likewise for everybody.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

I'm looking I'll come to New York and do your show.

I've invited myself. How do you like that?

Yeah, please come on through. Please.

Look that's a self book right there.

See. I just learned to ask for a things.

Yep, you got to.

I'll send you a tape you.

Ain't even ask. That's even more of a power movie.

Yeah, I'll be there. Hey, I'm going to be in Town Billy in December. I'll just scoot on down on a train, you know, I don't drive. Thank you for being on You were great.

Thanks guys, thanks for having me.

Listening.

Do you need a ride dyn Air. This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Analise Nelson.

Engineered by Stephen Ray.

Morris, mixed by Royd Tanaka.

Theme song by Karen Kilgara, artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast.

That's d yn Ar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia dot com.

Listen, subscribe, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you, Ellen, you're welcome.

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