I leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gage aid. We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it. Re scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride?
Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
And this is Karen Colgaraff.
Hello, Karen and our We're in our cold, blustery homes.
I had to put socks on.
I had to wear. It's one of my old sweaters.
I mean, what is this is Los Angeles? It's supposed to be eighty degrees.
It's so funny that one week ago I was complaining. I just wanted it to be cold. I wanted to rain, and the minute it does. Also, you remember my boring lizard story. It's a Western fence lizard, by the way, Oh you looked it up. Yeah, there is one of those, and then a little black gecko, and they are just waiting outside my door, and it's because it's warmer in here than outside. I want to come They actually want
to come in, and I was not. I was gonna leave and get coffee this morning, and they're just waiting. One of them tried to go in the crack when I opened the door, and I just gently scared it away. Like being locked in my house by these desperate lizards.
Let them man cut up a little apple or something.
Part of me want for some reason, I'm okay with a lizard once they're in the house, but I don't want to be letting in multiple because no of the fear.
If they if they're bringing friends, it's going to turn into an insane lizard party exactly.
It's it's a classic tale. It's a and I don't. I don't want to step on them. That's my fear.
Yeah, No, that's that's a good fear, because then you will be murdering a little friend.
Yeah. I was traumatized by the disembodied layol. That was layol. Okay, let's start over, I said, layol instead of tail. Take two, Take two, disembodied tail.
I thought, because you looked up the western fence lizard, that it's actually called a layl and that type and the genus my new knowledge as an ick theologist, that's fish.
And a lot of people say salamander, but that's an amphibian. Just so you know, it's not a reptile. I've done a lot of research today.
Guys, this Lizard podcast is probably one of the best versions of this podcast we've ever done.
It's just the best way to start.
It's going to be us and a bunch of nine year old boys talking about lizard.
Get your jars out and don't forget to poke holes in the top.
Show your mom.
No, don't show your mom. She'll get mad because that was made for Berry Preserves. I'm very excited for our guests.
Today as am I. She's played clubs and colleges so many country. We both know her from the comedy scene, from the podcasting scene, think pretty much any scene. Yeah, she's there for it. We know her, we love her. You're about to please welcome ros hernandez Hi.
I don't make a scene wherever I go.
Okay, Chris, do you know about the raccoon man? He like feeds raccoons hot dogs in his backyard And there's like videos of him with like what seems like hundreds of raccoons climbing on top of him.
That could be you. He sets up camera and he's got a huge following.
You can lizards guy? Does? Is he local? And does he let the raccoons in his house?
He's not local?
No, But there is like a video I saw one time where the raccoons are like looking in the windows and it's honestly a horror film, but it's I don't know where he's.
Located, but you know, I don't know many inspiration.
All you need to do is watch this video and I'll send it to you both of a little raccoon on the back and riding a swimming dog. Both of them have rehearsed it and they're both in on it and it's the cutest thing you can And a wet raccoon once they're furs all tight because they're wet, and you realize they have tiny little hands like a monkey, little thumbs they can I swear, there's little fingernails.
They have like human hands.
It's the hands that pull me in with these wet raccoons.
My father had a raccoon as a pet what seventies. He also had a monkey as a pet.
Yeah.
And one time we.
Were driving and there was a mama raccoon with baby raccoons on the side of the road and he had me get out of the car with him, and he's just like, I know what I'm doing. I used to own one, and I was like, get away from them, and luckily nothing bad happened. But yeah, he's real comfortable around raccoons.
Wow, And is there any.
Reason we shouldn't be. I think in the back of our minds we all think a raccoon as going to leap through the air and tear our faces off.
But right, well, they're very confident. Like I've told this story on this podcast easily twenty times, so I swear I won't do it again, although I can dog or yes, they like trying to come in. I thought there was a burglar at the back door, but it was actually a raccoon trying to jam his way through the locked cat door so he could eat the cat food. Right, And when I got back there, I turned the light on and kicked the door so the raccoon would go away,
and he just went. His body stayed where it was, and then it's just his upper body leaned back as if to say, what the fun? Yeah, like I was in the rock.
No confident. They act like a professional wedding crasher, just like, Oh I belong here, I know the bride.
Right to my house.
I just I forgot my key. I was just trying to get in through the cat door.
I live here. You do know where roommates, right?
I washed my hands in this water bowl.
All the time, they've duplicated your keys.
Have you ever seen them like wash their hands or wash the fruit they're about to eat.
Oh that's the cute, those little hands.
I know it's the hands.
I can't stop looking.
This is my first time wearing these glasses, which are full on comedy glasses. These are the Jimmy Glit collections. They're large, black frame glasses, square, I think because I'm six foot one. I think I thought like, if I get the world's largest glasses, it'll.
Make me like a little bit more petite.
But they're just like falling off of my face because they weigh eight pounds.
They're huge.
They look good. I really like them.
Yeah, they look very high fashion. It's kind of a New York. It has a New York.
Yes, it's like what's that woman iris iris app full. Yes, that's kind of how I feel with these big, huge things on.
Your iris apples, Like niece, yes state, who's come down into the city to live in her apartment.
Yeah, uh huh, like a little wreck babe breaking in the back door to get your glasses.
They are fashion glass. They would maybe become comedy glasses if you wore them on stage, like I'm I need mine. The other day, I couldn't read my set list. On my set list, I wrote down some jokes and I it actually was a problem. I had to do old jokes because I was looking at blurry.
Oh no no, But I don't.
Want to wear glasses on stage because any glasses become comedy glasses. Yeah, that is, even if they're not Jimmy glicky.
Very true. Also, but I think I remember, I think Brandy Posey was the first person I saw to have oversized like reading glasses or actual glasses as opposed to oversized sunglasses, right, And it was kind of shocking. But I was like, but Brandy's the girl that I've always known to have the pastel hair first, or the shag haircut first, or she's very cutting edge. So then I
was just like, well, this is what's coming. Like I basically took the cue and I was like, okay, well, I'm like twenty five years older than you, so I can do this in a little while. And I just got these glasses. And when I got these ones, I thought they were I thought they were.
Giganticl it's got great glasses.
We've done our work.
Yeah, I just went the regular Michael Douglas falling down frames. They're horn rims.
Yeah, well they're great.
Yeah, I love them classicat Yeah, you guys, I have to tell you, I've been listening to you for since I don't know, a long long time, really long time. I feel like, Okay, I saw this movie one time and it was called I want to say, it's called rock Star, and it's with Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston and Mark Wahlberg is in this cover band and then the lead singer of this famous band I forget why, but for some reason he's not in the band anymore.
And then Mark.
Wahlberg gets like, you used to live his dream. That's me right now, Like I'm Mark Wahlberg in rock Star. I'm like, oh my god, this is my opportunity. I'm in the thing.
That I listened to all the time. This is crazy.
I've listened to you guys like I remember one time I drove like across country or something and I just listened to you guys for our Really, you you've.
Been in my ears a lot.
That means the world.
I thought we met when you were doing your show at the improving your.
Well, you guys have both been on my podcast about going But yeah, I think maybe I had already met you guys, But tell my listen. I can't remember, but I don't know. I always think about My favorite episodes are Chris's Dad and Karen was it your niece?
Yes?
A long time ago?
Oh my god, so funny.
The family episodes alone.
Yeah, we need to revisit Chris.
We're talking to an actual listener.
This is I know. I feel like I want a sweet steaks or something.
You're sweet. Yeah that I really appreciate that.
I love that. That's you're actually a dinosaur. Yeah, I land on dinosaur.
I'm a dinard die hard.
That's better diehards, especially if you say it like that you're mad about it. I'm a die hard, God damn it.
Yes, so rods have you officially you are no longer going by Ros dres False, which I always love your stage. Was there a lawsuit? Did you just grow tired of it? Please don't say you don't like Ross Dress for Last the store anymore.
Yeah, that's funny.
I never really was a fan of I always liked the name Roz a lot and.
That yes another glasses.
Yes, I don't know. I just love the name.
I feel like it's just very like strong, no nonsense lady.
And then when I started being a drag queen, I was like.
Ras and then I just like one day I was doing Golden Girls Casita del Campo and somebody said the name Roz and then I was like ros Driz Felez and then I just like stuck. And then it just kind of I just started like getting paid with that name, like I don't know, it just like became a business. And the only time I had been to Ross Dress for Less was I bought a walk like a cooking walka time there. I've since been there a few times. But yeah, it's like kind of misleading because people always
thought I liked the store. It's more because I didn't have a lot of money to like buy fancy clothes. And so I was like, oh it sounds it makes lets people know that I don't I dress cheap, Like everything I wear is from like a thrift store.
When I'm skinna know you got it at Ross. I uh day. Plus, if you're not going there for betting, for this is a commercial right now. If you're not going there for bathroom betting pillows and like you said, walks and kitchen supplies that you didn't know you needed, shower caddies, underwear single pairs of underwear that are out of the package and just hanging on a hangar. No one, I know it's from Ross and maybe from the floor at Ross. They don't have people there cleaning up. It's
just mayhem. But I live near one, and I knew the day.
I knew that.
On Wednesdays they got their shipment of things from like pac Soun, like the skateboard clothing, like things I'm interested in. And so I would go there and look at Jews. Sometimes they'd have a Nixon watch. I'd go in, I'd look where, No, they don't have anything today. I'd leave empty handed. Most of the time. I'm just a real Ross head.
And but you can get some deal.
Yes, it's hard. You can't argue with Ross No.
Then I then I became like a I guess like full on trans lady like two years ago, and so now I just go by Ross Fernandez, which is funny because I've been dealing today with name change, like legal name change stuff, which is so annoying, and I was thinking. I was telling my friend that I was changing I was dealing with the name change stuff today and he was like, so your name's no longer Ross dress for last, and I'm like, well, like, is that what I'm changing it from?
That was yeah, yeah, I think because people, I mean now thank you to RuPaul and his industry people are very aware of the game of drag queen names of the kind of funny fun you know, like it's about something or whatever. And to me, honestly, your drag name was always my favorite because it's really funny and it's it is like that thing where you're kind of like, yeah, what if, what if I'm going to be the discount version or what if? I like, yeah, that's what I'm.
Yeah, It's just it was also really hard to spell, and I can't tell you how many times, like either a flyer had my name yeah or wrong, or someone would bring me on stage because it's it's also, to their credit, not a real last name, so I can't blame them for spelling dreadfu less wrong. There's also a thousand different ways you could spell it, so it's easier. I mean, Hernandez is my real last name, and so I just go by that now and then I don't
really do drag. I just mainly do stand up in podcasting.
Yeah, that's kind of an amazing stuff, like a trajectory. I don't know. I think you might be the first person I've ever met to go down that story arc. I guess so, and I should we should talk about this for a second because when I saw you and Sam at the Lady for Lady ten year anniversary, Ros and Sam were to the first people I saw when
I walked in the gate, and I literally looked. And also it was that thing where it was one of the first parties I'd been to in three years or whatever, so I was kind of like, and be cool, but don't be too cool and did it. You know, I was doing all that weird shit you do as you walk into the and then I saw you guys, but I recognize Sam, but Roz. I was just like, Sam is standing with this beautiful business lady, like who is this?
And then so we start talking and I do that very like anxiety based thing where I literally was like make it over to them, like all you have to do is make it there and you'll be safe. So I like land and just start talking to Sam, and then I figure he'll introduce me to you. And then finally when I stop like rattling on, I look over and you look at me and then just kind of like kind of tilt your head and you go, Karen, it's ross that. It's the funniest, Like it was what.
Your hair is so sure, it's it's that a foot and a half longer, smaller than your hat exactly.
You had like a very tasteful chignon and like a beautiful kind of fancy sun dress. And yeah, I was just like I was so embarrassed. But then I was also like, oh wow, but I didn't really I just didn't know what was going on.
I know, I haven't see you guys in so long, either of you. Yeah, but yeah, this is me. It's been good.
I've been doing so much more stand up and it's just like, everything just feels so much better. And I don't know, I had a fun time being a drag queen, but I'm just there's no more glitter. I'm picking up out of my like saying, you know, there's no rhinestones. I constantly step off and there's a lot of plus, it's way less.
It's like being in a you know, being in a band and going to stand up and realizing you don't yeah, costuming, meeting with other people, rehearsing.
I was spending like two and a half hours getting ready just to go do ten minutes.
Of free stand up.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is.
Not a good business model. That's how I was living up until the pandemic.
So how have your sets been?
Yeah, I think good. I don't.
I feel the best I've ever felt amazing stage. That's like, I just I don't know, everything just feels so much better.
I think that. Uh, there was a lot of people just kind of like.
Because you know, I would do like the improv and like clubs and stuff, and people would just they did not know what to do with me, with my gigantic wigs. Now they have to deal with these gigantic glasses and that's about it. But yeah, it was just a lot, I think for people to take in, and it still is sometimes but I don't know, it's just it's just I don't know, it's just better.
Yeah, it's harder to people don't expect you were in full character and now you're being yourself. Of course it feels better.
Yeah.
Yeah, and they could say my name. Yeah, it's great.
People immediately are able to pronounce your last name and spell it correctly. It's pretty calm.
How serious are you about acting? Because I just watched Three Queens and you're really good in it. Everyone is three. I just watched it. I well see, I'm telling you it was I mean, the Joe were great. It's I want to see more of it. It seemed like a pitch for it, a show about you being bank robbers.
Right, Oh my god, that's so funny. Yeah.
That was a short film that I was in. Every Yeah, that was fun. I mainly have done like a lot of like campy drag queen theater and stuff like that, which I really love, like like Golden Girls and like Peaches Christ and like all these like parody plays and like silly things like that. But I started taking acting classes over zoom during the pandemic, So I don't know, I'm kind of getting out there a little bit, you know, pop up in a commercial or something here in that.
Yes, wait, can you tell me what, like is an acting class during the pandemic like an acting class on zoom? Is there still like the intensity Like is the teacher really intense? Do you have to do scenes from your like off?
Yeah, I took so many different acting classes during the pandemic, so I have like a wide variety of different teachers. I was just like I had so much time on my hands. I literally went from being a drag queen five to seven nights a week to just nothing, and so I was just like I have to perform and do stuff. So I just took like a ton of acting classes, and like some of them were like they send you the sides and then you have to do like your own self tape and then everyone watches it
during class. And then a lot of them were just like acting over zoom, which is also really hard. Yeah, I still am not like I like podcasting over zoom, but like, yeah, I was asked not that long ago to do a stand up show over zoom I'm.
Like, yeah, they're still lingering zoom comedy shows. I don't want to do them ever again.
Wait, have you guys had any ghosts stories since then? Whatever happened to your ghost?
I was going to ask you about your ago. I'm it's been kind of uneventful here. I just had to paint shut my haunted ironing board door that still I avoid. I've covered it with photos and personalized the door, but I will not open it because that seemed to be When.
Do you think it's gonna help you?
Guys?
Can you synopsize this? I've never heard this story, Chris.
No, Well, I heard about your the ghost on this podcast like a couple.
Of years ago.
Oh yeah, Chris was sorry to call you, but he definitely told the story on this podcast that I'm now on. I really and then I was like, Chris, you have to come on mine.
Yeah. Remember Caromen when I first moved in and there was a lot of bumps in the night in my kitchen and then I realized things were As I was hanging up curtains and things like that, things would go missing and I'd have to go outside and say, please put it back where I need the paint tape so I can finish and then the tape would be there. It seemed like I really got the impression it was
a kid that was hiding things and trying to be funny. Okay, but it was really scary, and it was right when I moved in, and it was very noticeable, and I thought I was going crazy. The lizards, it was the whole time, multiple lizards and a trench coat.
It's just the lizards.
I must have just been listening to you tell that story and only hearing the nouns and thinking of what joke I can make of, like ironing board. Now I got nothing for that, just classic comics listening to.
And then Karen has the most epic ghost story of all time as.
Well, which I mean, so I've been doing this.
Podcast for like four years or something, and I always tell people, you know, ghost stories don't have a shelf life, so you could people could go back if they wanted to hear Karen's when you were on. It was when I was recording in my shower because the pandemic had just hit and I didn't know. So I don't think it sounds the best it's ever sounded, But that story is so scary.
Thank you. I'm very proud of that story, and I was actually thinking of it. I remember when you got booked and then that that is my uh, you know, my memory bubble of you. It was like, oh, well,
here's all the memories of ross. The time I stared at her straight in the ice and pretended I didn't know where you know that, and the time I was on our podcast, but I was actually thinking about what I could sign up for on the internet to look at old police cases in Sacramento to figure out if that crime actually if a crime happened in that house.
On the Yeah, I don't know what I don't. You're going to have to retell your ghost story too, because I do not know.
What the quickest version that. Yeah, that's true. I've never I definitely never told this story on this podcast because it would take fucking forever. But essentially, when I was in college, I just dropped out or been kicked out. I lived in a house with three girls, and weird things started happening. But we were all so kind of like drunk and living our narcissistic lives that no one was really tracking the fact that, like anytime someone spent
the night and they slept on our couch. They would complain about people doing the dishes in the middle of the night, like we never, we never all looked at each other and went, why do people keep saying that? Because we just for like all theater students that were like, listen to me. And then one night, my roommate was sleeping on the couch in the front I'm sorry once I start, I can't stop telling the story. But she was sleeping on the couch in the front room, and
I had this really scary dream. But it shouldn't have been scary because it was just a mom and a daughter standing on the front porch of our house and I hear them talking. So I went out of my room to go see who was at the front door, and then I observed them talking to each other and doing that scared me really badly. And then so I woke up and I was like, what a creepy dream.
I opened the door to my bedroom onto the front room where my friend is sleeping, and I wake her up, and she wakes up with like a start, like huh, And then I go, are you okay? And she goes, oh, I just had the creepiest dream, and I go was it about a mother and a daughter on our front porch? And she started crying and goes, how did you know that? And like freaking out and we had the same dream.
So then basically I was home by myself like that next weekend, everybody went home and I was in this house by myself, and I got hugged by a ghost essentially, yes, was.
It a motherly or daughterly hug?
No, it was it was like. My theory is that I was in the pis like the room or the position or the area or whatever where I think the little girl was because the arms were really big that went around me as I laid with my back to the room, staring at the wall with my eyes really wide.
Wait, but then, who do you think huggs you?
I think I think the man who owned the house hurt hurt them somehow, like I think.
They thought Joe Biden.
From above and behind At the same time. It was, yeah, it was. It was very weird and it was very specific. So it was like it was the kind of thing where and it was just a creepy house and it was just bad vibes basically all for a year. But before that, I of course, always have enjoyed scary things and creepy things and that can't be true type of things, but I'd never experienced anything to make me go like
ghosts are real or those experiences are real. And then that happened, and then just ever since then, I'm just like, I believe anyone who tells any kind of story like that, Yeah, because it's very common.
Yeah, And in red respect, I think I did experience a lot of ghost things and just ignore them, like you said, out of narcissism or just not being open to that. But what does surprise me is now that I am open to it, I can't get a goddamn ghost to give me the time of day.
I know that's my experience.
Once I had a podcast about them, they're like, we don't want to be on your podcast.
Don't talk about it.
I only like converting non believers. But once you're into it, they're like, yeah, whatever all I did is burn some sage and this kid ran back into the ironing board door. Maybe I'll open it up. They still Halloween, but I.
Mean, I wonder if that's what it is. It's like if they're looking for some kind of acknowledgments. Or tension or something like that. That's the you gave them.
You got to play hard to get. Yeah, you can't be too thirsty. They don't like it.
They don't.
That's what I've found. But yeah, because I mean, I've done so much ghost hunting and like looking for contact and ever since I started this podcast, and it's hard out there. It's hard to get a ghost to give me any attention.
Did you go Have you gone to like those places that are famous, like a famous bed and breakfast that's haunted the.
Most haunted place?
Isn't every place the most haunted place in all of America? Yeah, I've been to a lot of different places, like Queen.
Mary that haunted that boat.
Yeah, I've stayed in like a haunted bed and breakfast and god, so many different places, like different houses, like people have invited me to.
I hope, I hope that there's good.
I'm always like this is They're just gonna be like a man in a bathrobe, Like yeah, I don't know, but yeah, like I've had some things happened the past few years, but like the creepiest oh my gosh, Okay, I did stay in a haunted bed and breakfast and I did leave in the middle of the night, just by yourself. No, I went with my friend another drag okay, and he was like not that into this was probably god like, probably like at least three years ago now, was definitely
before the pandemic, and he was not a believer. And he literally just like fell asleep when it was a reasonable time to go to sleep, and I thought we were going to like stay up all night and be like spooky. Yeah, and long story shore, I believe that
I had the blankets over my head. I was so scared, and I believe that I felt somebody take their hand and like pull the blank because we were in like the haunted room, yes, like the actual like what and I felt like somebody take their hand and like put their fingers underneath the blanket and like pull it over like over my head, like from over my head, like you know, pull it off my head.
Which is classic. I thought you in movies.
I thought it was my friend. So oh, so I like helped him, you know. I was like I'm still up, you know, and I pull over and he was sounded. Who So that was pretty terrifying. I don't like anything that's like that, like physical touch but I'm also I
don't know. As time goes on, I've heard I've literally heard like thousands of ghost stories, and I've talked to like experts of people from those TV shows and just like all all kinds of people, and I get more skeptical of my own self, Like as time goes on, where I'm just like, was.
That in my head? I knew it was haunted.
I don't especially if someone your friend is sleeping next to you and not experiencing it, it'll make you doubt. Because I had a similar ice skate in a friend's basement in Minneapolis, sleeping on an L shaped couch with a comedie Isaac Whittie. He knows this story. We were both had our heads in the same corner of the couch and our body is going away from each other like an L shape, you get it. We were talking, but he was falling asleep.
Slumber party.
Yeah, we were totally having a slumber parties. We were laughing, We're like, Okay, I'm really going to go to sleep now, and then we'd someone would make a hilarious fart noise and another hour of getting Yeah, it was that. We were doing all the classic kids but then he goes, hey Chris, and his he was down by my feet, like I'm like, why are you on the floor? And
I was like, what are you doing down there? And He's like what and he was bat He never had left where I just heard, hey, Chris, down by my feet and it was so obvious and clear that I ran. I ran upstairs and I went outside the house. I couldn't even be in the house anymore because if I pulled washed over my body it was all the things that you see in movies, like my neck hair stood up and but I it was the scariest thing ever. I don't think I mentioned that on your podcast, goes.
No he did it, because I remember you also talking about painting a place in Austin.
That yeah, wow, good memory. And that was a that is a if you're like looked up haunted ghost tours. That corner on Congress in sixth Street, I believe is like the Driscoll Hotel, which is famously haunted and Kitty corner from that was that place Buffalo Billiard's. I was painting and that was all classic sing Peripherally, something went by me and not paying attention because I'm on a ladder painting a starry night ceiling and just blowing on
my neck like all the ghost hackiest ghost tricks. And but like Karen said with the dishes, I heard it was Christmas time. I was painting Christmas stuff on the windows also, and I heard people partying, like drinking, cheersing. And then the manager of this restaurant showed up at like ten in the morning and said, sorry, I locked you in. You can come and go now if you want to go eat something. I just can't leave anyone here alone without locking the door. And I'm like, oh, no,
there's people decorating in the next room. And he's like, oh, yeah, no, there isn't that's sight. You heard party noises. I'm like, yeah, multiple people partying. He's like, yeah, there's place that's just really haunted and that. Even then, I'm like, oh, you're lying. But then he told me all the little things that he had to deal with in this like dust, a layer of dust on the table and he had to go turn on a light and then the dust would
dissipate all of this stuff. I'm like, yeah, right, But I was getting so scared because I wasn't open back then to this kind of thing. But yeah, that.
Is a famous What was the place called the.
I don't think it's there anymore. Buffalo Billiards was the downstairs bar? Yeah yeah it was so I painted. Yeah yeah, good drag name.
Yeah it was it haunted by the guy from Silence at the line where'd you fuck me?
It put in the basket?
Yeah, there was little lotion baskets throughout this place. It didn't make sense, but yeah, very scary, very scary.
But yeah, I'm like Halloween just ended, and I mean it's still we're still going.
I was literally today.
It's just like researching haunted places for an episode I'm recording tomorrow. Like I'm just I'm fully in this world of ghosts that haunted places. Yeah, but it's like a sad time for me. Like the week after Halloween. It's always like, don't forget about me, guys, Like I'm still I'm still doing that.
Hey, I was doing it all year, I was doing it in April.
I'm doing it because I get real popular for like six weeks and then yeah, yeah, don't forgive about me.
Have you gone with like ghost hunters that have like equipment and in.
Full and stuff. Yeah?
Really, yeah, I think it's I think that stuff is fun. I mean it's like fishing. You just kind of like sit around until someone's like I just heard something like I didn't hear anything, and then everyone kind of freaks out for a minute and then go back to sitting around like you know, it's.
But I think it's fun. I like going.
I just like going places, like being invited places I like.
I don't know.
I like because I like to watch those shows, and mainly just because I like to see like Middle America and places I will never actually go, Like I like to.
See these little old saloons and stuff. I think it's fun.
That's what I love is the stories, like when they're like my friend lives in Jerome, Arizona, and it's this really oh that place right, it's very haunted.
Yeah, and there's that house.
There's a it was a hospital and then they had a wave of whatever, you know, cholera, one of those horrible like eighteen hundreds diseases. Everyone in the town dies and then all the babies were left like by themselves. Did you hear that one? So it's like it's there's this one.
Place that is it's now a hotel.
Yes, When I went there. It was not it had not been redone, but it was like the most haunted place in Arizona. Whatever. I'm not sure, did you go there.
I did go there like a year ago, and okay, oh, I was recording, yeah, a video. Yes, I was in the bathroom by myself, and I was just like because I thought the bathroom was interesting because it was like there was like some old timey like I don't know, shower or radiator, I don't know what it was.
I have the video on my phone and I heard and I have it recorded. I could find it and play it for you.
There's a voice that I've I've had people from those TV shows listen to it. It sounds like it says I pooped here.
I swear.
I love when they have jokes.
I swear this was in a bathroom and the voice said that you know what you're looking at me?
Funny and play it.
I'm I'm gonna find it.
Find did it? Play it? I love that.
I just love the idea of a place being haunted by babies, like at night, you just here crying, and that's so scary scary.
But I there's a very good chance I'm combining two stories. But that's I'm almost positive. Do you remember that rose from that?
I remember the baby story. I just remember that it used to be a hospital, but maybe.
Well, it was like every like people in the town started getting sick and so then people had to go to the hospital. But then the people at the hospital were dying, just like the patients were dying. And then after a while there was just like abandoned babies at the hospital.
It's a horrible so such a cool town. It's like almost like Cobblestone or something like. It's like a little village up in the mountains, and everything is all about ghosts, Like they've got ghosts dealers going on. There's like a restaurant I think it's called the Haunted Hamburger like everything.
It's just like I was trying to think of it, Yeah, the ghost Hamburger place, Haunted Hamburgers?
Was it good? What were you doing there?
I just went there as an Arizona traveling visit. I think I was doing stand up somewhere and someone told me to go to Jerome and told me to look at that hospital, and just driving by it and looking in the windows, I think I saw a curtain move because of an oscillating fan, probably, but I was freaked out just driving by it. Yeah.
Yes, I also used to watch those ghost hunting TV shows because, like you're saying, they would be like, so this steel mill was active in you know, eighteen twenty nine or whatever, but then this thing happened, And it's always like what I really think, I like is this kind of like you know, the history aspect of it, where it's like, horrible things have been happening to like towns and groups of people for years, and like, because we're also bad at processing trauma and bad at talking
about our feelings and stuff, it's always just like and so ghosts, but it's just like you know, if half your town dies, you know, you're it's like, yeah, there's gonna be residual horror.
Yeah.
I think about like people today, how they might be different ghosts, because I like, therapy was so stigmatized for so long, and it's like you hear about these ghosts where it's like they roam the halls looking for their lover or whatever, and it's like if you went to therapy, like I'm sorry, but like you might you might get over and then you won't be stuck roam in the hall like.
I don't know.
Yeah, you wouldn't have jumped off that turret at that weird hotel tell the first place because your husband cheated on you or whatever.
I mean.
It all is like it's tragedy upon tragedy.
Yeah, okay, wait a second here, Oh boy, I pooped.
Here?
Did you hear.
I I pooped? Let me turn this up. Oh yeah, I heard that.
I love I love that.
It was very strange. That's proved. It's more than you'll see on some of those TVs.
Imagine being lost in some sort of a spiritual purgatory and the only thing you needed to tell someone is where you pooped. I mean, what a terrible existence. What a someone that's.
Or it's like a you know, a cowboy pervert who's just like I need. I'm going to tell any woman that into this bathroom about my poop. That's gonna be my y lifelong and into death passion.
What's that? As?
Sorry?
That's what I That was in Jerome, That was in the Postome Grand Hotel. Oh wow, yeah, I went there because I went to Sedona, which is a little slice of habits.
Yeah.
I love Sedona and it's not far from there.
That was my trip as well, Sedona Jerome.
Sedona is amazing. We see pictures of it and stuff, but when you're actually driving through and then like this side of a mountain is just red stripes, like you you truly look like you're on a movie set. Yeah, it is the craziest thing to actually be there. I do love that place.
Yeah. I've never been a desert person, like I like trees and bushes and grass. It's just me. But Sodona will turn you into a desert loving person because it's so beautiful. Yeah, I know.
And it's like you go and then you're like maybe I need to buy a bunch of crystal.
Yeah.
But if I.
Left there like like this with crystals, my hands were full.
Yeah. Well because the people there, I mean, that's that kind of place where it's like there's the hum and there's people there who are specifically there to be spiritual and they're kind of experts. So you know, if you're just wandering into like what you think maybe a candle shop, but it's crystals and there's some you know, unbelievable spiritual crystal expert, you're like, well they have to get this because they're this is what I need and they're telling
me about it. This is like it's almost like it's privileged information.
Yeah, you have to. Yes.
When I was on bridges podcast, like a couple of weeks ago, I was telling the story I went on a UFO sighting tour in Sedona, which was so cool, and I believe I saw UFOs. What did it look like a little dot in the sky that move?
Was it daytime or nighttime?
Nighttime?
With night vision gog you had the goggles and they gave us goggles and they said, you see that, that's a plane, that's a helicopter, that's a drone. And then you'd see these little things and they would like move crazy and they would flash when you'd ask them to flat. We had little flashlights. We were flashing at them and then they would flash back. I've never seen a plane do it.
Wow, it was really cool.
That's very cool.
Yeah, what did you bring Bridger on the podcast? What gift?
An old wig?
Just an old haunted wig.
It is definitely haunted by drag brunch pass.
If you put your ear up to it, you can hear a Celindian song I used to do. Yeah, I just have these.
I've got so many wigheads with gigantic wigs on them, and it just so happens. I hope Bridge isn't hear this. I got to make room for other things. So it worked out perfectly. And it was right before Halloween, so you know, it was a gift.
Why but he loved that though. Did he go crazy?
I think I think he did like it.
He posted a really cute video of him with it on, and so it went to a good home. Yeah, and now I just have about seventeen more I got to find a home for I'll take a last Yeah, I'll just start to rescue.
Yes, just giving them out. What I love is last year for Halloween, Bridger was a woman who was having a terrible time on vacation, and so he was wearing he was wearing like a I'll never be able to remember the name of the designer, but Lily Pulitzer. He was like wearing like one of those dresses where it's like the real cute it was like to the knees
cotton print. And then he had a purse and he was wearing this this funny but very realistic looking wig and then this kind of like sun hat and I think he made it look like his face it was sunburn. It was truly like it made me last so hard and bridger, like just in regular life is so so low key, like the lowest key. But it was like then I saw him in that wig, and I'm like, oh, that is allowing you to have fun, Like it's allowing you to be this other thing.
Yeah, and it's so fun totally. You know.
That's something I learned my whole life, is wearing wigs to get me to being my real media. Like when I was a kid. Okay, so when I was a kid, I was a professional clown. It's a whole nother thing we could get into if you want it. I was a professional clown. What was your clown's name, Rainbow the Clowns. Yeah, and not just in June. I did it all year,
all year when I was ten years old. And then I started doing like theater and stuff wearing wigs, and then I did drag and like, I just feel like, wigs, Where's something I did to like help me come out of my shell. And now I'm like, Okay, I'm out of the shell and they need to leave.
They need to get out, they need from you. Yeah, they did leave.
Yeah, thanks so much.
Yeah, Wiggs of my my friend. He's his pro skateboarder, justin screwbing. He uh, what were we? It wasn't Halloween. Everyone was in a car. It was just a costume party and he was in deep character and he said he has to be wearing sunglasses otherwise he can't get into a character. So he felt safe behind sunglasses. And he was just turning into like someone's fun like Jimmy Buffett uncle I think basically was, and he was so
I I didn't know how funny he was. He's like, oh, I can only do this any character, any costume if I'm wearing sunglasses. That was his version of them. And he also had a wig on, like a Muliti wig. But yeahs I was going to try that. So I wore sunglasses on this last costume as Elvis.
But I still, oh my god, that was so good. The toilet. I saw how you made it. That was incredible.
Thank you so much, Thank you so much.
I went last minute as Lisa Rinna, which was really fun. I happened to have the costume just laying around the house. Nice perfect, pulled it together and I felt good about.
It would you do did you do like a rooshy, very tight dress or did you do her more casual?
Well, okay, so the reason I was inspired I was just looking through social media and she had just recently.
She was at the Bravo convention and she.
Was getting booed and she had on this orange like suit. And a couple months ago was out a good Will and I saw this orange suit and I was like, oh, I should buy that. Maybe I can turn it into like a pumpkin outfit or like, I don't know, do something with that, something fun, because that drag Queen's still in there. I like to take things and dazzle them
or whatever. And so I and I forgot about it, and it was also too big on me, and so then I was like, oh my god, I have a Lisa Rena wig, because of course I have a wig because I used to do Lisa Rena number though I used to wear like prosthetic lips. Oh but my prosthetics dried up and I don't have those anymore.
I was going to have, of course them in there special liquid or whatever.
You gotta keep them incubated dres just next to the bed.
I keep them by my bad night.
Living water. Oh why were.
They Lisa Rena because apparently she's the villain of Real housewis of Beverly.
Hills this season.
That sucks. I like her.
I always did. This was me so I did some.
God yeah it was based on this was her outfit?
Oh my god, nailed it?
Did you?
Great job?
Thank you?
So I just overdrew the lips, which you know, it didn't feel exactly right, but sorry exactly.
But it was it was close, you know, it was Halloween.
Did anyone boo you?
Nobody bowed me?
But she she posted, so that was cool. But then she did But then I noticed that she posted literally hundreds of so then in my mind it became a competition of like who did I?
Who did I do it better than? Yes?
Nice? It's always a competition.
It's always a competition. L a.
Instagram. Yeah, they actually stan Ley Serena message and say, I know this is classified instment? Which one did people like the most? Was it mine? When you reposted? Because you don't get that information? Pick a winner, big winner?
Wait? Did other people do the orange suit? Or just her? In general?
I saw a couple of orange I did see a few because it was kind of an iconic look. A couple of weeks ago, there was a lot of I guess she has an eminem. Now, so there was a lot of Lisa Rena eminem's.
And shea prince.
She wears a lot of animal prints, and so I saw a lot of those costumes.
Yeah, Lisa Renna has a signature and an eminem based on her I guess, so, I don't know, or one of the sexy cartoon candies.
Sure, yes, she's like a sexy emina.
Okay, she is.
The green one based on Lisa Rena's.
The orange her her eminem is orange. Kind of has a little Lisa Rena hairdo, which some some hairstyles are hairdos.
I don't know.
I can't describe. I don't know what the difference is, but that's a hair doo.
Don't you feel like the difference is height and if you have to pull pieces out and put like hairspray or gel on them, so there's like a fixed element.
Yes, that's what I'm curst thought of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well you nailed it.
Wait, Chris, I just wanted to hear because I've heard about the Elvis on the toilet costume in the build I heard about it weak of So just do you want to give us a couple highlights of the actual experience of walking around as dead Elvis on a toilet.
Well, once I figured out that I needed suspenders and a basically an elastic girdle, so it was wrapped around my waist, a white elastic thing that kept it because it ended up being heavier than I thought it would be, and then suspenders that I just covered with Elvis's pajama shirt. It was it was really comfortable. I just could not, ironically go to the bathroom all night, so I just
held it. Yeah. Yeah, but what I saved till the last minute and only spent an hour on was carving the foam legs with this hot knife, releasing the most toxic fumes into my brain and into the ozone. I'm sorry, but it was worth it. The end. The end product.
That's drag, honey. Yeah, welcome.
It was so fun. Yeah, I'm like, it made me want to become a prop person, Like.
Oh, I know, prop person or foley artist are the two jobs that I want.
Both of those are so fun to.
Yeah, just put shoes on your feet and crunch around and gravel.
Yeah, just like walk around.
Yeah, yeah, that was.
So fun to me, Like I got too coconut shows. I'm a whrse Like it's.
So fun, you know, I really I really love when you can pick out fully where like somebody's walking across a parking lot, but you're like, oh, there, there's no way feet would make this much noise. They're just there're soone just laid this in. Yeah, that's my favorite. When I'm like, I'm so good at show business. I can pick yeah, when they've laid in fully.
Work.
The movie the movie Cruising, Have you ever seen that with al Pacino? And he plays like a gay He's like it's like very gay, and he's like a serious what is it? He's going undercover to catch a gay.
Find a serial killer who's killing gay man.
Yes, And it's all very leather, like everyone's wearing leather. And in that movie, it literally sounds like someone has like a balloon and they're just like like every time they move it like eat. And then he has like chains on him and it sounds like someone just I'm picturing someone with like keys just like jingling in a sound boot.
It's fun.
I would just love to that credit at the end of a movie leather squeaker leather.
Seakers, and the Academy Award goes to Yes.
I met a fully artist one time at a at a party and I just had so many questions all night.
I would talk to them and she was like, it's.
Not what you think we're We're not just like sitting with toys, yeah, playing around.
Yeah.
My version of that job is from like forties radio programs like that would be so much fun, be like a fully artist on War of.
The World's In the nineties, there was an La Times ad that used to run before the movies at the Arc Light, and it was like basically different jobs in show business and basically it featured there was one about two fully artists, a man and a woman, and there was some part where it's like someone's head gets chopped
off and then they drop a head of lettuce. Oh my god, because that's like the same noise as I had a dead head hitting the ground or something like that, where you're like, it was like two minutes of watching people actually do their real show business job. So everything I know about full your work is was whatever was contained in that ad.
So it's just the Arc Light the art.
It's going to come back though, apparently that's gonna say. I hope. So it's bored.
Yeah, someone's bailing it out.
They say someone bought it. Yeah, but right now it is literally boarded up, and walking by it is like the saddest thing.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like a lot of people don't want to They don't know why things feel different since the pandemic.
And I think it's because the Arc Light. I think a piece of la is missing. Yeah place.
I spent so much time at the Arc Light. It is my absolute favorite.
And it was the kind of thing and I think this might be true for like, I don't know if like people who get sober, people who like you're maybe trying to not hang out with the people you were hanging out with and were bringing you down or whatever. The Arc Light is like easy fake socializing where you
can meet one person to go see a movie. But then if you go there like Friday seven, in that gigantic entryway, there's the chance you're going to see someone you know is like a fucking celebrity, I e. Colin Ferrell.
Yeah, the eyebrows alone.
One time I saw oh what, Oh I can't I can't think of his name, but I saw him.
What's that? I love his word?
Channing Tatum. I saw Channing Tatum.
There. That's a good one.
You're right. Every time I've gone to a movie there, I'm like, oh shit, was I supposed to dress up? I'm wearing sweats. This is humiliating.
Also, one time I went on the weirdest date and I ran into, of course, five people I know, and every time I would see them, I would like leave the date to run up to them, so and like, I'm like, I have ten seconds till he catches up, and then I just like say hi really quickly and like I'm in a hurry, and then he would come but like you see everyone you know.
Yeah, I just loved it.
I loved it.
Oh yeah. And then someone the works there like comes out and gives us speech about the movie you're about to watch.
Oh my god, I do that when people come over to watch movies. Go Tonight's feature is going to be presented one hour and thirty three minutes, and it stars al Pacino.
Because what's this squeaky leather killer? You always are showing cruisers. Cruisers.
I have so many I can't deal with when you get what is that called like living when you're living, no living vicariously, you know, so like I get vicarious shame very easily. So if people try to take a big swing in public, or you know what I mean, like a young person who you're like, you can see in their mind that they're like, this is going to
make everybody. And that's the vibe that those arc Light employees would have when they would be up and like hey, everybody, welcome to and it would just have this energy of
like a needy camp counselor. And I would I would literally like curl up in shame or I couldn't, like I would need to clap and like be nice because I was so afraid people are gonna be laughing at them and like that idea where they think it's great and cool or whatever world they're in that I coming from a comedy background, I'm just like the cruel, mean, horrible things people could be saying too or about you right now, it's overwhelming.
No, but see Nicole Kidman is laughing all the way to the bank.
That started bad and now it's become a thing where people stand up when that ad comes on and salute it. Or to come with people, throw to people, do say it along with her. Oh wow, like now it's a thing.
Yeah, well, I just watched the other I'm still watching all the classic Halloween. I'd never watch so many moves, Bobba Doo, all these movies and people. But the others it's very sixth sensy. But she's great. Let's just appreciate Nicole Kidman right now from BMX stand she's great.
But yeah, she's been great since she was like seventeen.
You know, I never paid attention. Yeah, she's terrific.
She's good. She's good, right, she's good. Future.
The huge advantage that I noticed is she's very narrow. That's really what you need to be a successful A list actress.
Then you can make it through any doorway.
Yeah, success shoulders hips, all of it.
Just to be making it in Hollywood is just a series of narrow doorways. That's what they told me right when I moved.
You do you have to turn to the side, get them.
Yeah, you're not gonna make it with that profile. Kid.
That's why I got these glasses so I can look more.
Narrow, make the glasses big, and then by comparison, you're very very much.
You could give me any advice in those glasses and I will.
Follow it, especially pr based to.
You need a promo pack and you gotta send down some vhss go to lightning dubs.
Oh my god, Yes, we need to assemble a packet.
Yeah, packet.
I miss lightning dubs. I miss the arc light and.
You got to roll those down to the end of your nose and say things like no such thing as bad press to anyone anytime? Yeah in Chipotle? Yes, yes, all right, Well, Ross, do you have anything you want to promote or like make sure we First of all, please listen to Ghosted Ross's podcast where people tell real ghost stories. Obviously she's going out and doing field work and doing the investigatations herself. But then also you know, people come on and talk about I'm.
Cutting myself in dangerous I get possessed any moment.
You won't, though, because you're open to it. They only possess deniers.
Yeah, I guess so, but I hope you get possessed.
There's a pot I always talk about, like, I don't you would think like a ghost would want to possess me.
I mean, yeah, come on, in these.
Glasses, like I would be a fun person to possess.
Yeah, they all want.
To be hasn't happened yet, Yeah, I mean the podcast is called Ghosted by Roz Hernandez and I've been like the past about six months ago, so I changed it.
You used Toeak called ghost of my ros Dressfals, and I changed to ghost of by Ras Fernande's And once I hit like year three, I was like, this is so hard to find people with ghost stories, Like it's so hard, and I still do do that, but I have on more comedians now, and I like research like famous ghost stories and we like look at hank eBay dolls because people sell eBay dolls on or they saw haunted dolls on eBay, and so we like, we do like all this silly stuff, but then people still do
tell real ghost stories.
And yeah, it's like.
Both of you've been on a famous people, comedians, experts, listeners, all kinds of people.
We just talk about ghosts. And I'm on Instagram.
Oh and I recently started using Instagram and like posting clips and stuff and it's been fun. I don't know why I wasn't really using it much for all these years, but yeah, that's at roz Hernandez.
Well, beautiful, we love you. Thank you so much for being on. Thank you so much for listening and then being on.
Oh my god, this was such an odd that's so flatter here, the sweetest ye, thank you. And it's always a good sign. When I look down and I think we've only been talking for a half hour.
I know.
No.
We we talked about the ghosts that pooped here, we talked about the lizards.
We talked about a lot of things.
And even that sounds like enough, but then there was more. Let's talk about all the things we just talked.
Let's re talk about it.
Oh and I'll be at clubs.
And colleges, yeah, all over this fine country.
And thank you, Yeah, Ross, you are the best. Thank you for being on. Thank you you've been listening to Do you need a ride? D y n Ar? This has been an exactly right production.
Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.
Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast. That's d y n Ar Podcast.
For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.