S3 - Ep. 43 - Patton Oswalt

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Claim and give us time and a terminol and gay a.

We want to send you off inside.

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Tell us all about it.

We scared? Or was it fine?

Malcorn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need you ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgaroff.

Hello my friend Karen.

Hi Chris.

I did uh what everyone should do to get in a good mood, to get ready to podcast?

I uh, I watched the news and it just put a spring in my stuff.

What are you doing?

I'm judy glad. I'm so glad.

I don't have a job where I like, you have to stay abreast of current events and then write jokes for Jimmy Fallon or something.

What do we do for the Putin Dunking booth? We have to have jokes like I don't.

I'm so glad I don't have because it really bummed out and then uh so, then I watched stand up Others two specials that are amazing right now. One of them is really convenient because it's by our guest today. The first one, though, She Wang has a great special that i've I've I've watched it twice now, just because it is light and like well written, observed it like observatory jokes.

You know, he wrote it up in Griffith Park.

It's light and easy.

Is it like a croissant of comedy, Like it's real airy and buttery.

It I yeah, it flakes, It flakes when you pull on it.

It takes jam well.

Yes, yes, it's absorbent.

I when I watched it, I was like, well that it's He's It's what I was doing because of everything I wrote over the pandemic was like COVID related or shut down related, and I was like, well, no one wants to hear about that anymore. So I was like, I gotta I gotta do what Shang's doing. Then I watched Patents special and then I just realized.

No, you can. You can do those jokes. They just have to be really good.

Here's the thing that here's a mistake I made coming up in San Francisco. I would see Patton a lot because we moved there, I think within months of each other. Yeah, And what I would do is watch Patent on stage and go, I have to do what he's doing, and that's.

Impossible to do.

And I would sit down in cafes and sit and then write a topic croissance and then I would expect a chunk to fall out of my brain and onto the page. It was so ridiculous. And I've done it for so long watching him yea. And it is such a setup because no one's brain works like that, and also he works on it really hard, so you're not going to get the chunk when you're sitting in the toy boat going like I'm as.

Good as those guys act, and it's like you're not going to get it all at once.

It doesn't.

It actually takes years to do.

It this way.

Yeah, And I'm not going to try and do it his way, but I Patent's special made me want.

To just work harder at that writing, and anyway.

It should make you want to work smarter. So that's actually we should go.

Over all, like more efficiently.

I should multitask while making my writing my jokes just.

If you can lean, you can clean. Was supposed to be the message you got out of guns.

That ispcial. So I don't know. We'll talk to him. We'll talk to him about it.

He's we can do it right now, yeap, our guest today, Karen.

Has played clubs and colleges this great country and he is here with us now and we're honored and we're thrilled because we don't get to see him that off and it's Patton Oswald.

Everybody.

Yay, Chris, Karen, thank you so much for letting me be on the podcast.

Yay.

Of course, career are allowing you, you're allowing it.

Finally, by I sent my letters. I was persistent, paid off, dang it.

Persistent and polite. I said the two piece of stand up comedy.

And here comes the third be so there you go.

I'm sorry we did that thing where there's that couple of minutes where Karen and I riff.

It's in parentheses.

We're required to do it, and Patten's just sitting listening to us talk to him and he's unable to chime in because we haven't introduced him yet, and it's got to be painful.

I'm sorry. We did that.

Yeah, you haven't. Haven't passed me the clunch as it were. God, that was that was. That was such a nostalgic. When you said the toy Boat cafe on Clement, I remember us sitting in either the toy Boat, the Blue Danube or the Javasaurus all on Clement, and we'd be there all day with our notebooks, bitching about showbiz. Why aren't we on TV? Why aren't why are our careers going nowhere?

I would give anything to have that.

I mean, I speak from current experience. It is pretty great.

Well what I loved at the time, which really funny is literally most most of us had been doing stand up comedy under five years, right, and yet.

It was like, this is fucked.

Why aren't we famous where it's like, hey, how about you write more than five minutes of material exactly?

Yeah, yeah, but.

It's not all crowd work and talking to your friends, yes, in the in the weird little balcony, yeah, or.

Talking about a shitty gig you just did in Lode. But you're only doing a bit for other comedians who all agree how bad the cask and cleaver is in low Dye. How come this isn't getting me on Letterman because you're you don't have a eight million friends watching Letterman that all know your shit?

So why don't you write a joke?

Local jokes get local works. So long, so long to learn it?

Wow, I remember, look, listen, if I can extend the mutual appreciation Society for just a little bit, the I remember it marveling at you watching your bitch because whereas I was always about I've got You've got to engage the audience by exploring every possible facet of this, and you got the biggest laughs out of you would begin a story, but then the comedy would come from you openly disengaging with what was going on in that story, going, and then I just fuck fucked that. I don't want

And that's what's funny. And it was fucking hilarious.

I just remember you just going whack, like you you boiled down this woman's rant. You to the word quack, which means and then Karen switched it off and the woman wasn't there anymore.

I had to walk away. I was getting one more ticket that my dad was going to scream screaming thought it was so funny. Also, those were the times where most of my comedy came from just ripping off things

Oh god, but it just it blew me away how you could engage people that way, because then you would see people go, fuck I do that, like I Actually, it's actually more real that you shut down and walk away from a situation than if you stay there and say a bunch of smarmy things of the person, because in real life that doesn't happen. In real life, you're like, get this person the fuck away from me. I'm just I'm not here anymore.

Goodbye. Oh god, was so great, so real.

I literally have no memory of that bit.

Oh my, but I knew you wouldn't.

Just when you said the word quack, it was like, oh that's what that woman became to her.

Just it was perfect.

Yeah, I can't do it.

I'm trying my hardest to get Karen to start doing stand up again, Paton, I'm gonna do it.

Like she doesn't have enough else going on in her life.

She's like, I know, just gotta add to the plate and exhaust yourself.

Yeah, exactly.

I would love to do it if I had some sort of like a spine of an act that I could like go back to or whatever, But truly I just don't. I it feels like that kind of thing of like, what would I want to say that I haven't said on my fucking nineteen podcast exactly?

Yeah, that people literally when when I say I had to, I will say in my special, there's a bit about me about my elliptical talking about how I've abandoned it, and it has It's like that guy got on me once and I saw that he had and when I originally bit, I said, oh, he downloaded a podcast.

What's he listening to? Oh? My favorite murder?

And when I said that, it got such a massive round of applause. It actually threw the rhythm off of the bit story into a podcast because your your cultists are everywhere. And also they felt a little let down when I would mention it and then go back into my bit and they're like, oh, we could have just talk about that, but oh okay, you know, like they oh, so I had to literally lose the name of your podcast in that bit.

That's powerful And then you got a standing ovation with the mention of blue Apron commercials backfired again.

Yep, yeah that I love that detail. Yeah.

The only reason I keep asking Karen to start doing stand up again is to validate me. I get all this time, like it's one hundred percent okay. If you don't want to do stand up, I one hundred percent support it.

I want to do stand up because I want the like applause and glory and attention. Oh, I just don't want to write bits that will be good enough to get me that. That's the problem. Is it? Like I'll stand on stage and quackity around all day long.

Yeah, it won't.

It won't be good.

People will be like, Oh I kind of liked her podcast before, but not anymore.

Oh, she's losing listeners. She's losing listeners.

Don't please talk about murderer. I don't just stand there like this. We don't care what happened at the laundry mat.

Paton, Like I was saying, did you feel pressure when you're talking about the lockdown or COVID or have jokes that you wrote during that time? Did you feel pressure that they needed to be did you feel the audience go I don't want to even hear about the topic uh, I you.

Know I'm gonna I'll be very honestly. I didn't write anything during the lockdown. I didn't get anything done. I cannot write sitting down. I have to when i'm in it. Like, as Karen said, if I'm in a toy boat, a toy boat, jesus, I'm very well. I had a toy boat built in my office. What if I was like, who's the guy from the Simpsons, John Schwartzwelder who he would always write his Simpsons scripts at this specific booth and his specific diner.

And then I think the.

Diner like stopped allowing smoking inside. So he had a replica of the booth built in his house.

But that's true.

Yeah, he could sit in and smoke and write his scripts. I'm swear to God. Like he was like, this is where I do my best writing. So I built this booth in my house.

Let's yeah.

But I mean I have topics and ideas and I write down maybe where it can go, but I can't work it out unless it's in front of an audience.

I don't go there blank and riff.

I know what I want to talk about, But for some reason, my writing happens on stage so I had to wait until I could go back on stage. And at that point it was the only time we were talking about the pandemic and COVID was in the looking back in the like it was that feeling of well, we all made it through, and how is yours? Because mine wasn't good. I didn't do a good shutdown. I didn't do a good quarantine. I really went crazy.

Yeah it really worked that. Those were my favorite bits of yours.

Yeah. Yeah.

I embraced how completely unproductive I was, how zero personal growth, how there was absolute physical collapse. There was just an immediate disgusting weight gain. Weird, like I lost track of time. So I would like, I would like to take what I thought was a nap, but I had actually would sleep for eight hours, or I would go to sleep at ten o'clock thinking I'd slept all night, and I'd wait open as it was eleven pm, Like like everything was off. I was just a friggin' wreck.

It's time travel naps. I did the same thing too.

I ordered and then not what the good quality, just ordered weird rubber bands that I'm supposed to like stand on a ball and lit like all the exercise equipment exercise. Oh yeah, and I did for like three days. I'm like and even was like, yeah, I'm starting to notice results, and then just I'm one of them.

Couch now strongest memories, I think right at the beginning, when the shutdown was coming, it went from like a kind of a weird funny thing on Twitter to like, this is really happening. And then I just remember standing in the kitchen staring out the window and going, this is super weird. No one's ever gone through it before. You might go crazy. Yeah, don't be like, just don't be mean to yourself. You can do whatever you want. You can eat ice cream, you can never move, you can whatever.

Just don't be mean to.

Yourself, because that's when I really fuck up, is when that voice in my head starts going like yeah whatever. So I was like, yeah, it's ice cream time. Guess what saltan straw. We're about to get to know each other really well. Flavor like delivered ice cream.

Oh yeah, Oh I had my boxes from Jenny's coming.

Wait, I just the whole.

Like they would they would announce a fall collection and I would be like, purchase entire collection.

I don't even like Caffey flavors. I just want. I'm a completist. I want the whole collection. I want them.

Yeah.

How did you have that wisdom that early though?

Because I have the delusion of I mapped out what I was going to do, the amount of writing I gonna do. But you, I guess you just embraced the fact that, wait a minute, this is not going to go well for anyone. You're one of the lucky few that knew that going in, so you probably suffered less trauma.

I think the people who are trauma raised, I think people who had like a sudden death early in their childhood or weird like big life shift kind of things. I mean, I think I've always been that way a little bit, where I'm like when people are like, no, we have to go do this, I'm the person that's always like, we absolutely don't have to do it.

Just wait and see how we don't have to do this. And then when the like.

Rule breaker kind of like not rule breaker, but just I got to see things early on where it's like these adults are faking it. Everything is a little bit everyone thing's a little bit fake, And so you don't have to be so worried about this stuff. But I knew that like the impact, because we'd already been through so much shit with this fucking Trump stuff in January sixth, like our realities just kept getting broken every day. So

The yeah, gaya, Earth's gaya or the mass unconsciousness or some know ivor something.

There's like a there's like a there's like a some kind of a person that tells you to journal where it's like we all share this same awareness and.

We all creatively draw out of.

The same awareness pool. Anyway, I was like, the awareness pool is fucked. Like someone just poured a bunch of less into the awareness pool.

That's a great way to think of it.

Like I was gonna sit in the sun for a little bit. I don't need to get in the pool for a while.

Yeah, And just like so if we're if I'm going to be locked into my house with basically just two dogs, one of which then got lung cancer, where it was just like I was just like, Okay, this is gonna get really hard. Okay, well, and I just kept doing that where I was just like, okay, so nothing else can matter. You get like if you need to eat ice cream for dinner and that somehow is your maladaptive coping mechanism because your dog has bone cancer, go for it.

That is at least a two year APO.

Yeah, that's why I was.

I don't want to say the word thriving, but emotionally I felt just fine because there wasn't this looming. I don't consider myself competitive, but the fact that everything stopped for everyone, this weight was lifted off my shoulders, and it's like it doesn't matter what I do, no one's

Yep, Yeah, no one is fully thriving.

I didn't realize that's what drove me other people's thriving.

It was a psychological version of that comforting nihilism we all had in the eighties of yes, we're afraid of a nuclear war, but if it happens, we all go like, there won't be people that won't like in other words, we'll be lucky if we get killed immediately. It was this weird like, hey, if when I see the missiles, I will actually relax, like there's nothing.

I can do.

I'm actually every decision has been made for me for the rest of my life.

I can relax.

It's so funny that that was a fear from a fear from my childhood in the eighties, hiding under your desk, and just today watching the news, I was like, wait, where will I go. I guess that could still happen. I'll go to my garage. That's all that's a cement box. So yeah, I just have to undo the padlocks.

Caring.

You just reminded me because I was talking about this the other day, how you remind me of Kirsten Dunst and Laars von Trier's Melancholia, where it's about the world ending but the one person who handles it all with grace and dignity is the suicidally depressed character who's like, I'm actually ready for this, exactly like that. The other woman's like running across the golf course with their kid, like trying to survive, and Kirsten is.

Like, ah, here we go. She's watching the sparks come off her hands, about to be.

Cooked alive, Like she's the one person who dies pretty because she's ready for brids.

Yeah, just don't fight it, just don't struggle. Well. Also here, this is a very melancholia esque. I remember watching that movie in the theater. I was in Chicago at the time, and I was just like, wow, I'm really relating to this.

That was the feeling.

Also, looking out my kitchen window and I have a really lovely view of the valley and there was not an ounce of smog. It was clear, yes a belt, it was like gorgeous nature. And I was like, this is the kind of thing that might make you go crazy because that's not normal, and that's really creepy and you're going to see it every day and it's going to slowly get under your skin, so keep your eye on not actually liking that, like I was doing that kind of stuff of like here when I was wiping

I was cleaning.

I was doing a big book purge the other day. Oh, this is so pathetic. We have all these cookbooks which we've never opened, and right when the pandemic started. God, this is so embarrassing. So I have a book that jet Tila gave me one hundred recipes you must try before you die, and he's just this great cook and I had bookmarked right at the beginning of the pandemic the recipe for apple pie.

I was going to teach myself to make apple pie, and.

I was doing the book perch and I took it out and there was the bookmark, which I bookmarked it and never opened it again, never blocking nothing.

It never happened.

It was just this weird little marker of another thing I did not do.

H delusion delusion distraction though. It was almost like it's when something scary is happening. Me and my sister and I always do this first where it's like okay, well, it's like that your voice goes up really high and you're like, I'm going to make an apple pie.

That's what I'll do.

And it's just like that's your version of kind of like action panic, where it's like, yes, this will do it, this will fix it.

Yes.

There was a great Onion headline the week after nine to eleven, and it was just like, not knowing what else to do, Mom bakes American flag cake, which is exactly it.

That's you.

Oh my god, that the panic, the panic chores and the panic joking when things go wrong. Yeah, that's that's very real. I'll do a load of dishes that don'll make things better.

I like sweeping, and it's like what's that internal voice.

I've never spoken like that before in my life.

This will do it? Yeah, like that?

Oh my god. Yeah. There's a great, little, super micro budget science.

Fiction film came out in twenty fourteen called Coherence, and it was shot for fifty grand over five days in this guy's house. It's just eight people in the movie, and something starts going wrong with reality. There's no crazy

Especially me and my family, Like if someone's on their deathbed, we all do at least ten minutes. Yes, and some of it I think I wish I had written down like, soff, it's good, but that's your coping mech So.

Your dad's like bring me right up, just do a quick bob.

And spend long on the intro, no credits.

I mean, it is so comforting though. I think if you're from that kind of family, when things are shitty and someone looks across at you and it's like when my mom had Alzheimer's and my sister, Oh my dud. This was my dad's recurring thing of she makes it easy. She'd be like doing some insane thing across the room where everyone was like in a panic of like because my mom was so her whole thing was like being

There was just a lot of.

Like obviously it was just the looks craziness and my just with a big smile turn of me and my sister, she makes it easy. And that's like we were. There were constant bits. They were constant, constant bits.

Yep.

When my mom was in her facility with my sister and I laughed so hard the whole time and then felt terrible on the drive home.

Yeah, like why did we just laugh?

We were the only people laughing in this sad place of pea puddles and shaking and horrible.

We laughed so hard. I can't.

Oh, I know the choice, you don't.

You don't have a choice, and you need it has to be with those people that get you that you don't. I mean, it has to be like close people, but that you would never have to go back and explain anything to I.

I spent a day with my mom once.

She was kind of like over the line, way over the line, and I didn't know it.

Yet because I was down in l A.

And I spent a day with her that was madness and it was truly it was like a horror movie. And when my sister came to pick me up, I started crying and I was like, I want her to die, and I was doing it like it was the fucking you know. It was like to tell you something, she I think, and my sagter goes, you don't think.

I've looked up how to kill her and I had been like sobbing, and then we both start laughing.

She's like, yeah, I fucking think that every single time.

That's not of.

Course you do, like what are you talking about? And I was just like, thank fucking god.

Yeah that was read of her to say, actually.

Yeah, that was saying she kind of saved you. She gave you a lifeline there.

Yes, to go like, yeah, that's something horrible, but also yeah, I don't know.

That's to me.

That's those are the funniest times because it's the it's heart wrenching, lye funny.

Yeah.

I think Amy Poehler told me once when she was on SNL and either her mom or dad died but she had to do the show and then go to the funeral the next day. But she had just gotten the news and it was really tearing her up, and she goes what saved her was when they were in dress and she was starting to fall part. John Hamm was the host. It was his first hosting time, and

It was so perfect. Is that amazing?

Yeah? He was really going out on a limb with that, Joe Yeah.

Because boy Yeah, yeah, so wrong.

And then they went on to do John Ham's John Ham Did you see.

That sketch Jesus Christ was.

I was like, this is the dumbest, best thing I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah.

And he, you know, when they pitched that to him, he just even before they he was like, yes, we're absolutely doing this.

We're so doing this.

And then when he when he talks about the my name is spelled with two ms instead of one M, and that John is with an H and mine isn't feel like a.

Dumb ass yet he's He's just God, he just nailed. He's so funny. That drove me crazy. That's like, that's like.

Elizabeth Banks and Alec Baldwin and it's like, hey, hot or funny, you just pick one.

You don't get to have both of.

Those for real.

That's for realists.

That's just so irritating.

You should have to pay for this somehow, this is not good.

That's funny.

I remember the first time he was at UCB or something and he I was like getting upset that because I couldn't stop looking at just the way his face is shaped, and then that that face was being funny and I'm like, well, then actually fuck you, Like oh yeah, yes, so many, so many lines and that that face that his very funny and they're yeah.

They're a Tina Tina fadus.

He looks like a he looks like a cartoon of a pilot, handsome pilot, and.

That's what he looks, think like.

It's a kind of handsome that makes you angry at him, like something bad that happens to you and dare you?

He also gets the extra sheen of being on such a good show that it's it made him more beautiful because the show was written so well and he did so many amazing things like it's it's that kind of thing where like his his what's the what's the word for it?

It's like his jaw.

Like I was still in my own little world.

Show like his grade you know, like grade A, honey, He's just like just grade A across the fucking board.

Ye my day, you clowns looked like clowns.

Make up?

Did it? As a service to people. You know, when you walked on Sam, that's a funny guy.

Yeah.

And if you were accidentally handsome, you just fall down more. It's our clown make yourself ugly.

Oh that's great.

So Patton you are Are you allowed to say where you are right now?

Oh?

Yeah, I'm in.

I'm in fabulous Steambathy Savannah, Georgia.

Which ring over again.

Yeah, you know what things I tried again.

I tried fresh with a new wife and boy that went she went over to just ran off, went on vacation with Colombia, ran off with the street musician. It's it's a spiral, you know. Just hey, look a hot eighteen year old Columbian that that is a wild animal celebrity that you can't get. She's like, she's like, fuck your IMDb. I'm leaving with wand.

I'm out.

I'm doing this mini series in Savannah.

It's set in the Civil War, so I get to wear this massive fake beard, huge wool uniform, gun sword hat. Just basically I'm in my own personal sauna all day on this set. I've been here since July and uh yeah, it's it's been quite an experience.

Wow.

Yeah, it's so fun to be in period wool when it's like one hundred and two with a.

Humidity of urine. I did that. It was like an extra ind of Western.

When I first moved to Austin and they made T shirts the day it was one hundred and fifteen and I was wearing layers of wool, just sweating through it, and I'm like, I don't think I have what it takes to be one of these acts people.

This isn't gonna happen.

No, No, I can't do at least.

When Karen did her TV shirts, she was hard to go over to Scotland where it's it's nice, right, yeah, and you could you can dress like for fall weather and it's not uncomfortable.

That's right.

I told my agent at the time, it has to be above the Greenwich the Greenwich line, because I can't handle anything.

Even France a little too spicy.

Yeah, a little bit during during Thulmidor. It is a nothing in the mod to the ekdu.

I will do Scotland, I will do Iceland. I will consider Greenland.

I did a movie in Iceland and the day that I got there, we flew into reykievic and then We drove an hour outside of Raykievik to this little like sportsman's lodge in a town that I don't think had vowels in it. It was so out on this glacier, and so the day that I got there, someone said, hey, walking on the glacier is really beautiful if you need like a walk or something. I wasn't going to be shooting for a couple of days. I was like, all right, like I need this. I needed to clear my head.

So I go for this.

I'm walking on the glacier, no headphones in, don't have my phone. I'm just like, wow, I'm actually cut off.

This is great. And I was really feeling energized.

And I see this speck way in the distance, like someone's walking towards me, like a mile away on the glacier. And I keep going and the beck gets closer, clo closer, it gets it to me and it's Sean Penn. He's like, oh, hey, Pat Like, hey, I guess I don't escape Hollywood no matter what.

And then he just kept walking.

And then we were shooting the movie together, but I didn't know he was already there. But I'm like the one person I see out on the glacier.

I wish that he was not in the movie, please. I was like, he wasn't even in the movie. Yes, Jean penn on a.

Glacier comes up and is like, this is actually my glacier passing.

That was like, hey do you you are? You coming from where the bourgeois pigs? I'm really lost. I just went for a walk and holy I think I took a wrong turn. Am I still on Beechwood?

Where is this so weird?

Yeah?

I almost said something dumb. I think believe it or not, you guys, and I'm not.

I thought, well it was that for uh Sandman, but you probably didn't have to leave your house to do the voice of that ing.

Thank god I was able. That was something.

That's the one thing that came out of the pandemic from my panic was I built a little voiceover booth in a corner of a room because I was like, well, this is the only way I'm going to make money. I did one online show, like they remember they were trying to do those online stand up shows, and I had a slow motion panic attack and then I had like three days of genuine, I don't want to say suicidal depression but like existential gloom of If this is how comedy is, then I'm not a comedian anymore. I

It's just a thing in a corner.

I can hang these acoustic blankets around and then just do my voiceover it.

That's it.

You pulled over the divider that you threw your slip over normally, and that's now your voiceover booth.

Yeah, I know, yeah.

I watched it happen one night and then I go, you know what, give me a blanket on a string and I'll.

Just tay you do it. There you go, good acousta.

That's so funny that you immediately found a plan B solution because I just kept doing panic inducing zoom shows.

I did.

I did one, any of them, barely got through it. You did sixty of them.

I did. I kept doing them. I didn't.

Yeah, and I would lay in bed with my eyes open afterwards every single time.

I don't. Sometimes they were fun, I swear to you.

I did one and it was a friggin' nightmare, and I had I thought. I was like, was I crying on that at the like I literally crying? Oh God, I hated it so much. Yeah, yeah, Now did you do so many of them because you're thinking I will get the knack of it if I keep doing them, or you just did it out of panic?

I know I was.

I really felt like this is going to be a thing, and I better get used to it, because God knows.

How many years we're going to be doing it. Wasn't that far off.

And like the third or fourth when I did, they had trust to fifteen trusted audience members that were also let in to the room and you could hear them laughing, and that was enough for me. And the drive in shows where they're honking, that was enough to just have a piece of it. And I wouldn't panic during those ones, and it was like a little glimmer of hope, but.

No usually fetal position all night baby.

I saw one.

This was one of my favorites because people were playing that online game what was it called Chris the like Villash Quiplash clip, and I was on a show where me and Chris and then like five other people were playing quiplash, right, so you're basically in like a joke contest of hack jokes, and Chris fucking immediately just began to destroy everyone.

All of his jokes were actually funny.

Most people would just do like, you know, a dog's huge dick, and then it would get all these points from everybody.

Else, and I was like, what the fuck is this?

But every time Chris's answer was funnier than everybody's and actually good. And then at one point he thought his internet went out, but it didn't.

We could still see him. It was like his side or his audio or something.

So then he just got up from like where he is right now and went over to the doorway and.

He just started doing pull ups on a pull up bar really angrily.

And it's one of the funny yeah I remember that I've ever seen, and we all thought you did it on purpose, and he was not trying to be funny in real life.

I really thought I was alone.

Finally, Okay, that was the little window where I was working out like I was. I hate saying it, but I was thriving. It's like you said, it's some of the best joke writing. I had it was I was. I was doing my chin ups. Wow, and now everything's picked up again, and.

It was just it was the best.

The idea though, of like as a bit basically being enraged by tech and then going and just doing like ten pull ups is so funny if you were being fished.

So human.

I also remember at the very very beginning of the pandemic, like zoom had not become the thing yet. At the beginning, there were nine different platforms and every new show you would do, they would go, well, on our show, we use britt blah, and what you have to do. You have to shut down these things and you got to read, and it was just like and you get like some of them would suck up my computer and I would get all angled and I was so oh. That also gave me all this anxiety, like I don't but I

It's just a two guys with guitars and a drug shit, you know.

So I went out of my way not to be that cranky guy, but inside I was just enraged and terrified.

I did. I got angry during a lot of them and then felt bad.

I was like, well, I just panicked and got mad at Forest Strangers because I didn't like the game show they invented.

It was all these weird variety like we're.

Doing a trivia game show and there's a buzzer. Yeah, if this is going to be painful, let's also make it complicated, right, ye oh God of those shows.

Like I did Dave Holmes Show, which I love the Friday forty right. So it's just like it's it's topical comedy and then whatever it it just dragged like in this way where I was like you'd say something, you'd know it was funny, no one would make a sound.

Then you're like stop saying stuff You're not funny.

Like in within the structure of the game show, it was just like you I absolutely lost the will to live.

It was just like why do I do this for a living?

Yeah?

And and then you then you like hit leave meeting, and then you're like, wait, why did I do that?

What am I doing?

Yeah? It gets all the craziest. And also just the the day you.

Would try to get up like today, I'm going to start fresh, and you would try to eat a healthy breakfast, but then the day just turned into a weird connected string of snacks. There wasn't really a specific line for dinner. You just kind of ate until you got tired, and then you went to bed. And then then I added drinking to that, which was not a good idea because again,

Four hours later? How much have I been doing?

Like you don't have to because you.

Don't have to go anywhere, so you don't feel like, oh I'm getting hammered because you're just you can just walk five feet and go to bed.

Yes, oh man, Yeah, there was some bad days.

At one point, there was a day where in the middle of my house by myself, I yelled stop eating cereal.

Because I it was just at a house plant.

It was just my go to solution for everything.

It's just like, I guess I'll eat more lucky charms, the worst thing I could be eating right now. And it was just like, stop doing this, what are you doing? Then I went into my I went into a real swimming phase, which actually was great. That's good, but yes, that was much better. Wow, but still a little surreal because it was I was alone. So that was the part where I was just like, just be careful with this isolation part because that's what gets people, right.

Not good? Yeah, no, Well we're bumming out all the listeners right now.

Remember when you were lonely?

Yeah, no, we were sad too, and we're going to continue to be and remind you of it now. You were once sad, even if you were happy an hour ago when you did the with Janine Garofflow the.

Tour for the The Ratitude. How many years ago?

What's that now? Please don't say over ten, but it's fifteen. It's fifteen. Holy shit, sorry, Earth time. It's a malleable concept.

I don't know if to tell you fifteen years ago we went on that. That was my first big movie tour to promote.

That was your first like starring role thing, right.

Yeah, And I remember we were in these little towns where we would also do stand up and then you know, go do all the press and try to and this was like still sort of pre internet, like I think there was MySpace.

Maybe.

One thing I do remember is we had to go do this event, a screening and press event, and it was on a Sunday evening and we were going to miss the last episode of The Sopranos. So we asked the hotel we were at and they were so nice to us. They video taped it for us and then set a VCR up in our room. However, no Internet, no Twitter, We just knew that the episode was set up in our room. They went go up there, hippy. They put out little little bowls of popcorn for us in that suite and drinks.

Yeah.

So we're sitting there, Jeana and I just watching it in my hotel room, and then you know how that episode ends, right, it just cuts to black, and we freaked out, thinking, oh, there's VCR cutoff or something, just like because it literally cuts off mid lyric in the song and nothing happened. And then we didn't wait for the credits. We just like shut it off and called down stairs. Something went wrong with the beast, you.

Know, yeah, and this popcorn is stale.

But then we I think we ended ended up having to call a friend and have because the person at the front desk was trying to explain to us no, no, no, it's supposed to be like that, but they weren't explaining it very well, and we thought, no, you don't know what you're talking about. And then we called a friend of ours like no, no, it literally cuts off, and but.

For like an hour we were like we missed the last second of the year.

It was.

It was so I remember that so vividly that we were both in that room together.

And I never watched it until Quarantine.

I finally finished Sopranos, Oh where people could stop getting mad at me at parties, but you you have you let me open for you guys on that tour like in Salt Lake City and Austin and and I. It was that was during a time where I had nothing going on and.

You liked, like a three stooges bit I had that didn't ever work.

You're like, I like that three stays bit, Do you want to go on tour for the And it was so I had never done like, uh, you know, standing audience music venues like that, and.

That's right, Yeah, that kind of cross kind of really started that for a lot of ALLT comics. Let's go to small rock clubs, and I was like, that's a great idea and we just ran with it.

Still all I want to do, and so anyway, thank you for that. I needed that at that time, and I always think about the fact that you did that for me.

Well, and that was my Okay, that was my first time ever in Salt Lake City. And first off, it's a beautiful city. Yes, it's a Mormon on cliff. What was really weird though, is it really did stay true to the whole idea of well and you know, Mormons they don't drink alcohol, they don't drink coffee, and and they don't listen to secular music. And there was that one block. It was the equivalent of Salt Lake City's Red Lake District, where it's just jammed with coffee shops,

People break dancing.

The pastor from footloose, standing there, going get away, walk out, No, don't do.

It, watching eighties romantic comedies like oh, but I just remember the coffee was so strong. It was like, if we can't, if we're going to go, if I'm going to go sit and have coffee, it had better be worth it. This stuff was ain't dinner. It was so strong. Never forgotten that weird Salt Lake City, Red Lake District.

And I remember that audience being great. I love audiences there.

Yeah.

I just read an article that some fancy chef just said Rat Tattoo is the best food movie ever or the best like chef movie ever.

Did you hear about that?

Yeah, well, Anthony Bourdain said we were the most realistic movie about a chef and other chefs that I've not to brag, but when I go to nice restaurants, this chef will come out and say hello.

He's like, oh, you're the rat from the move.

Yeah?

Yeah, and where's my extra bread basket? But I've got I've become very good friends with people like grand Ackets who does a linear in Chicago and they were a little and friends of mine who are chefs who've worked in the business. Like there are all these little details that they got so right. Like there's always a pot of potatoes soaking. You gotta have potatoes ready. You can't be peeling them when someone orders them. They got to

Oh, yeah, and in the animation the floor was all warped.

Well, they built This is how crazy you know things are at Pixar. They built an AI program to like build the floor and to make it, you know, to imagine what it would be like years of.

Stuff hitting it so it would be warped.

But then at night, when they were rendering the background, the pro graham would go in and meeting out all the tiles and flatten and they had to teach it like don't wreck your work. We need this to be uneven and fey.

Yeah, so they'd have to type in water dammage again, this.

Is not correct.

Oh that's so cool.

I hate humanity and life.

Everything.

It's getting a mind of its own.

The audience wants to see the floor if all humans were dead, show me all the humans dead floor.

The animation program kills itself. Damn we made it too smart.

Yeah, yeah, that was really It's very gratifying to be I mean, there's there have been some really good chef films that get like like Big Night and and Chef that really get the world correct.

Burnt and Burn Forget, which I watched like four times in Quarantine.

I don't know why, but I loved Burn.

Is that the one where it's all one shot or is that a different one?

No, that Burnt is the one with Bradley Cooper where he's just kind of like, you know, cool and on drugs and he's a chef, And I think I just love the idea of like I to me, I think chefs are more exciting than rock stars because they actually can they can do something.

Useful in life, you know what I mean.

And it is really hard what they do and how they do it every single night is really hard. So I'm always like, don't we like s you're friends as chefs? How do I get to be a friend? Because that, to me, that just is so it's so compelling. But

I learned all this from Chef's table.

Oh yeah, I didn't know stuff.

For half the times they're not even tasting their food, that the food is secondary to they're having a meeting they're on a date there, you know the food, you have broken your soul putting that stuff on the plate, and there's like, all right anyway, and then that's oh, here's okay. Here's a very embarrassing example of that. There's a restaurant in Culver City called Nanaka that was run by this you've been in Nanaka or you've heard of it.

I know of it from Chef's Table Chefs Table, yep.

And she is a friggin genius and I've eaten there many a time, and yes, it's always different every time. And she the first time I ate there, we were done with dinner, and then she came out and was saying hi, and then she goes, do you remember me? I was like, uh, I don't think, so she goes, I ran a sushi restaurant called Azamie on Melrose back in the nineties. That was her first restaurant, and it was down the street from the Yes Zami that was her first restaurant.

Holy that one, I had friends because I don't my friends, because my friends who were lived within walking distance of that place were like, we have found a secret, perfect restaurant that no one's in.

In a minimum of the windsholes and it's amazing.

Yes, yes, well okay, I.

Just got it to visit the embarrassing part and then you can tell me, because let me tell you my embarrassing part, and then you tell me what your cool friends did.

Because I no, no, that was the whole story I had. That was my story, have nothing else to add.

Every Wednesday, I would go to Golden Apple. I would take my lunch break on the show's where gold to Golden Apple, get my stack of comics, bring them to a zombie, PLoP down, order my faves. And she was given to me, and she goes, you always had your head in a comic book, and I was eating the best sushi in the city and didn't know it because I was focused on you know, what's Batman doing?

You know?

And like like when it wasn't like she got she was as amazing as she is at Nanaka when she was running a zombie. The guy that yes, I think she trained under Maxu and he says in chef's table, like, well, yeah, I trained her, and now she has surpassed what I've done. Like he's kind of admits that she completely eclipsed him. And I was just there just reading my books and didn't.

That is an amazing chef movie. Nicholas Cage plays this I forgot about it chef. He should have gotten an Academy Award for that movie.

But he plays a chef that is clearly like you said, Karen, they they kind of risk their their mental health doing what they do. And he's clearly someone that has gone off the deep end and he lived now he lives in the woods, but he's this legendary Portland chef that no one ever cooked better than. And he lives in

Is a sea I can't there's so much I can't spoil.

But it's that idea of the reason he quit doing what he was doing is because I've reached this level of perfection and no one understands what I'm doing.

So screw this, I'm gone.

Yeah it's and there are cooking sequences in that movie that you're like, I can't believe I've seen this.

I'm glad you reminded me about because I did start watching it like during quarantine, and now maybe it was a bottle of wine or something, but I fell asleep.

I didn't ever finish it.

And watch it again.

Yeah I will.

So the woman that owned that sushi restaurant, was she calling you out on like you were reading comic books the whole time?

And I no, I just because I had.

Brought so many people to Nanaka after I watched that Chef's table thing. I put in a call and I waited a few months and finally got to the table. And so I was bringing all these people and I was raving about it. But I think she was doing it more in a humor way, but it's like she she was doing it in that tone of like welcome to my life. Right, I had that place and half the people didn't know what they again, we didn't know who we were eating sushi from.

Yeah, next love, just next level. Also, I really like, I like the idea of a comic book nerd that sits down and then ask the book the question, what's Batman doing?

Batman comic book prepared to be enjoyed.

Yeah, I just oh god, it's so pathetic. I can't eat it. But yeah, that's that's the story of my life.

Yes, and that kind of I think I have such a wild respect almost well. Also because Chef's Table I think is such a perfectly made TV show, Like god damn, yeah, so perfectly made. But on top of that, I'm the kind of person that literally went it every night at six forty five when I realized I have to provide dinner for myself, I'm surprised and upset every night.

It is.

I literally am like verge of tears when I can't figure out or like it's like I guess I'll just eat cereal again.

Like it is.

It is a mental block. So to watch people go like it's easy. My cousin's like this, my cousin Stevee. It's like it's easy, Gret you have garlic. Look, you have garlic, and you have this, And it's like stop explaining it, to just make it don't.

I can't do it.

You hate it up.

These people that can do with they can make something with whatever is there is so beyond my imagining.

It seems like they have superpowers. I don't understand it for real.

Yeah, yeah, and like it's going that's happening now with my daughter. My daughter used to be and I.

This frustrated me, but I didn't realize the advantage I have.

She used to be a very picky eater, so she would have like a bit of grilled chicken and some broccoli and mac and cheese.

So all I had to do was learn to make a few items.

And now this past summer her palate has exploded did and I have to like.

Learn how to cook things.

So right now there's a lot of door dashing going on, like so you want to hang on and I call at and then that comes in. But I have to learn to like cook other items, and it's driving me crazy, Yes, because it.

Discuss how do you do that?

It sounds like we need to take a cooking class, that's what it sounds like.

Yeah. Well, the day the.

Day that the day that the shutdown happened for COVID, the day before the day that that that Friday, the thirteenth, I had scheduled a sushi cooking class in the downtown market and but but we we.

Suddenly found out there's this virus.

And I was like, maybe we shouldn't be handling raw fish with a bunch of strips.

It's like it's not gonna market.

Literally, it was literally, I'm taking myself into the vector of death.

And I just said, yeah, we're going to cancel this. I'm not doing it, like I got so fack.

That reminds me of the acting client prepared this scene from Chasing Amy for an acting class I had on the night of.

Nine to eleven, and I was the only one.

I showed up ready to have my first kissing scene with a guy with graces, and I was like, well, Shirley, we're still gonna have the class, right. I memorized the lines we started on ours no one else, No one else came.

I used to take cooking classes all the time at the New School in Culver City. I did a whole four week tie cooking class and then a basic skills class, all of which I've forgotten, you know, like knife skills.

Had a liked a pair and bone at chicken.

I forgot all of it, and that's where I met jet Tila, who's a really good chef. But yeah, I should start doing that again because it does. I remember it being very good for me mentally.

Yeah right, me too. And that was one of the things during quarantine. I got just through HelloFresh and having ingredients delivered to me, and I'm like, well, these are going to go bad.

If I don't at least try and use.

And now I'm not intimidated at all, just from learning basic things like Karen said, like you have to have all of oil and butter and an oven that doesn't.

Blow a fuse. So I got a toaster oven.

The point is I learned to cook some stuff and it feels good to.

Like carry me, is there an item you can cook?

Oh?

Yeah, But if you don't impress someone, what did you do?

I mean Karen's had parties and.

I've oh, yes, I can make an appetizer. Yeah yeah, I want.

But see, but it's this stuff and you're probably familiar with this too. My mom had all kinds of like Campbell's soup based recipes where she called them door slammers. And this is why I can't cook because my mom for real, my mom was the head nurse at a mental hospital. And then she would come home and it would.

Be seven thirty.

She would have called early to say, please clean up the living room before I get there. She'd get there, we hadn't moved. We're still wearing our Catholic school uniforms laying around and she'd be like, thanks a lot, and then she'd have to make dinner, and she was bitter and she didn't like it, and she was not a good cook. So then you know, forty five minutes later, the driest chicken breast, minute rice and Brussels sprouts that you couldn't eat even if you were meant to, yes,

Can cook anything.

So three days a week, dinner was a dream, and the other four it was truly.

My mom'd be like, we're getting Chinese. I don't want to hear about it, and may'd be like, we're all for it. Yeah, please, no, there's no fight here.

Yeah, yeahh call the one weird Chinese restaurant that we have in town. Did your Chinese restaurant in the seventies and eighties did it have because ours had the American menu on it for because it hadn't white gone white? So you could get a hamburger or a slice of pizza for the one part. Because I don't eat this. Just get me a hamburger.

I don't want to some grumpy uncle. Yes, yes, yeah, mine, add that too. The Golden Pheasant. You'd go, and there's a corner with American favorites with a little American flag and a cartoon of a guy with a rifle.

Just get me the spaghetti and meat both. I know it's I know it's Jeff Ward. I don't care. Give it to me, did you Okay? I have a question.

I haven't done this yet. In the lobby of this this hotel does not have a room service. I have a kitchen, but there's like snack foods, none of what you're healthy in.

The lobby and it's you know a lot of oreos.

Yes, but they do have a couple of microwaveable dinner things. And one thing they do have and I realized, I haven't had this since I was a kid. You just mentioned your mom cooking for you with a minute rice and the Brussels sprouts. They have rice serni down there, and I haven't. And I used to love ri serni when I was growing up. It was and it again the unhealthiest thing eight thousand you know, grams of sodium something. But I because I have this nostalgic memory of it

It was clearly all chemicals.

There was something like, oh, the nostalgia didn't let And now I've been debating since I've been here. Do I go prepare myself a rice ERNI? Will it not be the same thing? Well, I bet it won't be. I bet it'll be a massive letdown.

And do you have a kid, because and you're both gonna think I'm lying, But I have prepared rice in the coffee maker.

That base gets pretty hot. You put a little bit. I've made rice.

Wait, I've prepared the coffee pot.

Just the coffee maker base is like a hot pot. I've used it many times. I've used it on frozen burritos. I've cleaned up my masks. I forgot now that you said there's a kitchenette, So I'd like you to ignore what I'm saying. Don't try and make rice in the coffee maker. Use the kitchen atter. If I've prepared some meals on the coffee maker.

That's if you want up doing and you're staying Kinta and all you have is a coffee maker.

Prince has a recipe for hobo chili. You canfe.

You mix it up in the pillow case.

You take three creamers, you cut a hole in the corner and squeeze it out.

Is it a shower situation as you're a tub because.

You've gotta get naked, You're gonna go.

You got friend, You're gonna get one leg of the ironing board.

You're gonna get in there, open.

Up the mattress, crawl inside, scream at the top of your lugs. Uh yeah, that's yeah, you can. You'll be I would get rice, Ronnie, just for nostalgia.

I would try it if I was if I was you out absolutely used that to justify any any insane combination of things to eat. But I bet you they took out the MSG which is big, yes, seventies plus for right.

Well, you know they've changed.

They've probably tried to hip up the spice combo, right, which, like you know, if you get a if you get like a top Ramen, it's the exact same top ramen from the eighties. They've never changed it because they don't care. And I think people always buy it no matter what exactly. But I think I bet you Rice a Ronnie was like, you know, we have to update some somebody inherited the company and made everybody try to get here.

Yeah, we've we've gotten some furiously written letters that it is not indeed the San Francisco.

Treat there you go, Yeah, top ramen. That's what San Francisco in the early nineties was. For me, it was all top ramen, top ramen.

Top ramen.

Oh I may I remember we came back from a bar one time and I was with my friend Matt and friend I can't remember the guy's name, and we were super drunk and I was like, well, just make us top ram and they're like how and I'm like, watch this and they couldn't believe it that I just I made three at one time. They thought they were like, wow, this is amazing, Like it was my recipe where I'm like, yeah, you just triple the water. It's really easy to be a bunch of It's exactly the same as making one.

And top ramen and microwave burritos were my go to when I got back to the apartment at two am and like, oh, I better put something in my stomach or tomorrow is going to be bad, Like I better soak up some of this booze.

Where is something really greasy or salty? And those were my go tos.

Yeah, you know I knew I was.

And Chris, thank you for being patient because I can't talk to Patton without always walking down memory. I know it was such a specific times.

We have so many formative memories together.

That I know us.

This is like the Margaret Joe episode where it was I want to just see you guys go down. So yeah, don't worry about me. I'm just I'm watching and listening.

Okay, I appreciate it. Thanks, don't leave, don't leave. This story is so good. There was there was a grocery store up the street from when we lived at Clayton and Waller, and my rent was three hundred and fifty dollars. Yeah, so I would take some of my I wo'd peel off some of that gap paycheck and walk up the hill because there was a gourmet a gourmet grocery store at the top of the hill. I had no business being in there. I couldn't make anything. They had like

Going to make make this special?

And it was because that's San Francisco was so food oriented that like taking your money to buy like a tall and then a bagette was not weird. No one would think you were like being snobby. There was like, no, this is this is good bread and it's right up the hill.

It's a bit much that you're riding in a bicycle with it barking out.

Of a basket, but I put my bet on every single time to just stomp up the hill there. It makes me laugh, Like we were living off the fout of the land in the early nineties.

We didn't realize how good we had.

We really didn't realize that that was the last time that you could live on the fringes and not have to grind twenty four to seven. And now you can still be a young struggling artist, but you can't. You don't have five hours to just daydream, like, you better be working four jobs, and you better be instagramming, and you better like something, and you got to have your little tip jar out on your Twitter feed like it's non stop because there's no one coming to help. There's no relief.

There's no bagettes in your future.

There's yeah, and every three fifty a month, fifty's rain insane.

I mean, we had three roommates, but it was a it was a first floor Victorian.

Yeah, I just I just went up there and I was walking, we were walking the daughters through the neighborhood because I I down the little guide, I'm like, that's where the Grateful Dead lived, That's where Charles Manson lived, That's where like just pointing out all these Victorian houses and so yeah, that that but yeah, that you can't do that anymore.

No, Charles Manson had a nice house.

Yeah, well, I mean he lived in one of those problems he was. You could what I'm That's what I'm saying. You could be a struggling musician back then and live in a nice Victorian you know, a great musician, exactly, a great struggling musician.

I lived with six or seven other murderers. But we have turreted. We have turrets.

Yeah, yes, Oh the Wayne Scotting alone, the fucking Wayne Scott And don't even get me started.

Uh your how's your your com?

Uh?

Is it minor threats?

Minor threats? Yeah?

I have a yeah, yeah, Ago, how did that end up happening?

It?

Uh?

This my writing partner, the guy that we I wrote modoc with for Hulu. Uh. We I had this idea for a Batman story basically, and then it hit me, why because I've written for d C and Marvel. But I'm like, I'm busting my ass writing other people's ips. Why don't we just do a creator owned thing and just stay in control of it? And so we went to dark Horse, which is a smaller company, but they let the creators own their stuff. And it just we just ran with it. It's just and it's doing really well.

Yeah.

I didn't know you had already written comic books, so you already were totally in that world.

Yeah.

But but the world I was in was, you know, d C. Hey, do you want to write a Batman story? Hey, do you want to write a you know, an x Men story?

Hey? I'm like yes, obviously.

But doing something from scratch, from the ground up, was completely something else for me. And it really really was like, Oh, I get to control this whole world. I can out, I can do flashbacks within this world or side stories. We can slowly populate this this imaginary place.

It's great.

And you must have said to yourself, hmm, what's Batman doing right now?

That had to be something where you're imagining, like the fifteen year old version of yourself looking into the future and thinking, oh my god, I end up being so cool.

Well, or thinking back? What really helps when you write comics. I think when you write anything, you flash back to your fifteen year old self and it was like, what was the cool stuff that I wasn't seeing that I wanted to see?

And that's what you put into your work.

Oh right, I don't think show this.

And then so you show that.

I mean that that's the whole basis of Star Wars with George Lucas watching Flash Gordon going well, shouldn't don't the aliens like get together and have a drink at the end of the day camp Like just throwing those scenes together were amazing, you know.

Yeah, oh wow, and you remembered those things that you wished for when you were.

I remember that, like what happens when a superhero does this or this and all that kind of But of like, comics now are so expanded, Like like I my comics reading, it's such a tiny slice of superhero comics and the rest are just these amazing stories about the world and about people. There's these writers doing genuinely incredible speculative that there's a great one that I'm written now called eight

It's called the Billion Genies.

Eight billion Genies, and god, it's so And there's another one. This guy, he's Elliott Kannan. I know I'm mispronouncing his name. You sede Be a Daily show writer. He wrote this amazing comic called Maniac of New York.

And the whole basis of the comic.

Is in like nineteen eighty five New Year's Eve, a Jason Vorhees type. This mask guy they call him ok like homicide Harry or something like that Maniac Harry.

He's got a hockey mask on.

And a big coat and he pops up in Times Square on New Year's Eve, kills eighteen people. The cops shoot him twenty times, he doesn't die, and he disappears, and then every few months since then he pops up in Manhattan and kills a couple of people with his machete, and Manhattan just adjusted to it. It's like, well, there was a maniac Harry siding tonight in Chelsea, so maybe go home early and otherwise the weather this weekend is going to be great, and it's ridiculous as it is.

Or overturning Roe v.

Wade and then suddenly it's like, let's raise money to have women shipped out of the.

State where it was overturned.

No, let's fucking grab weapons and go somewhere with that. Like, no, don't turn over that quickly. Heet so fucking frustrating, or.

The current ignoring ignoring that COVID is still here, and everyone decided it isn't that that's another here.

Yeah, but it's showing you how. And this is a scary thing. People will adjust to anything, to anything. They someone I forgot who tweeted it was like when I saw the those avengrous movies with a snap and half the people disappear and then then everyone comes back and life it just goes on, he goes. I thought that was so ridiculous until we went through two years of COVID and I'm like, oh, yeah, that's exactly what we would do.

Yep, or four years of Trump of this man just making a mockery of leadership and like encouraging fucking being racist and being pieces of shit and being rapist, Like what the fuck kind of life change, It's like, it's almost good.

We had a quarantine.

After that, it's like, everybody, take a deep breath for two years, let's really think about some stuff and like, let's get strategic.

Sorry, the twenty nineteen it's going to last for a while.

This is going to be a long one guy. Yeah.

So that's that idea of how quickly can you adjust to things? And again, it also makes you think back on history, why didn't Jewish people immediately leave Germany? Well, why didn't we? Why didn't I elite immediately leave America? It doesn't seem to be getting any better. But I'm hanging on. So you know, there's that very chilling phrase. I forgot who said it, but it was like the optimists went to the gas chambers and the pessimists went to America.

Yeah, it's like, how optimistic should I stay? You know, it's a little and I.

Have friends that are very openly just like they're putting it on their Instagram.

Here I am.

I'm up in.

Vancouver looking at property work from up here. There's there's acting work up here. I'm fine, yeah, and I'm like, what the hell am I doing?

Well?

Thanks for being on the show today.

Well your last episode.

Good luck fleeing. I wait for you for a Oh there's by the way they're saying.

Is I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

We just watched Karen get mauled, and you know they're like, well, add another thing.

We just adjust. Come on, we got it.

The rabbit dog mail chip.

Is a wonderful service that us.

And let's not forget about blue Apron, Blue Apron Oh.

What kind of doggie do you have?

Blossom.

She's just a little terrier, you know, mutt that I just got. I thought she was old because my other dog, Frank, is fifteen and he had to go to the vet today.

So she's by herself for the first time.

So I had her locked out for like the first forty five minutes, and then I heard a single solitary cry, so I was like, fine, you can come in, and a of course, so she does this thing or she gets up on the desk and then there's nobody in this neighborhood really, but every once in a while somebody will walk their dog by and she goes fucking berserk because she's like up on the desk, like this is my spot, I'm watching out for everybody.

So she was being cool for a while, but then then a dog walks by. She's like so adorable. Sorry about that.

No, that's cool, that's that's awesome.

There's a science fiction novel called The Man in the High Castle, and it's where the Nazis have won World War two and they have. Yeah, so Germany and Japan have annexed America and split it up into two territories, and everyone has adjusted and they're just trying to live

Wow.

Rather than being the reality of him being the USO Fast.

Show next week year, he basically becomes like this this outlaw vigilante type.

It's really cool.

I got to read that or watch the show, or do something other than enjoying the soundtrack, which is a great soundtrack if you got to hear Beck do some uh some standard classics. H But yeah, I'm excited. I I'm going to get I hopefully I can redeem my one hundred dollars coupon that I still have for Meltdown. Wait what but I know I never redeemed it. I know, I know I never got it. But I want to get your comic book. And everyone should watch Patent's new special.

We all scream right.

All scream right Netflix right now.

Yeah, I'm halfway through. I'm we're going to hang up and I'm going to get more of you.

Well, I actually have to go because and this is actually happening.

I just got a text.

I have to go down to the lobby and get COVID tested because I am shooting tomorrow.

So that is where I'm going when we get off this podcast, I'm going to get a swab up my nose.

Who well, well, I can tell just by talking to you that you're one hundred percent.

Oh yeah, I've become a doctor.

Like a lot of people, I've become a doctor in the past couple of years.

Yeah, you're fine, you're fine.

Well, thank you for making time while you're on the road. That was very Yes, that's a real pain in the ass.

I'm a big fan of the show, so I'm glad I finally got to do it. So thanks, guys. Is my first time.

And I know that you took a hiatus for a while.

You weren't doing it for a while, right right, Yeah, yeah, because you know why, because during COVID no one needed a ride.

No, no, they did not need a ride.

And so we hope today you've enjoyed this ride to your to your hotel where you're clearly hiding in Vancouver.

Yeah, exactly, taking a ride down to my COVID test. All right, guys, than great to see you.

Yeah, see you too. See you guys, you've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

D y n a Are This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Analise Nelson.

Mixed by John Bradley.

Our talent booker is Patrick Cotner.

Theme song by Karen Cobertt, art work.

By Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Thank you well, you're welcome

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