S3 - Ep. 34 - Alice Wetterlund

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gage aid. We want to send you off in style. We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine? Now? Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgaret. I almost forgot the name of our podcast.

There was that that's weird, weird.

I've been doing so many podcasts lately, I forgot what my own was called.

Have you been so busy?

Uh no, no, no, I haven't been doing many podcasts.

That was just an excuse I made up for the unexplained.

I just I watched those excuses where you can look them up on the internet, because then you're just going to get what they call ethard if you do that, it's so provable.

Yeah, and I know you're done for.

Yeah, people are going to be like, you know what I've actually not heard you on any podcasts, and I have the Google to prove it.

I looked it up. No, you haven't. Have you been playing golf?

I played yesterday.

I'm getting ready for a tournament, so I have to not Yeah, in Montana, just me and some comics and then some old NFL players for the Big Brothers and sisters.

Oh, I think you've done this before. You've told some anecdotes from those Yes, yes, and so wonderful.

I played yesterday with these two fun eighty year old guys and I wasn't playing well at first, and then I had a little bit of weed, and all of a sudden, I was focusing. But weed makes me want to talk to people, and I was I think I missed my dad. So I just started talking to these old guys. And one of them was like, I can't tell that's a ball or a candy wrapper. He's trying to find his ball, and I'm like, oh, that's a rapper. I can see far, but I can't see close up.

That's the best glass eye.

Then I just kept complimenting his glass eye because it really was not.

Noticeable, not noticeable at all.

Yeah, unless he cartoon initially started darting his eyes around, I suppose then I'd noticed. But it was a perfect glass eye, and he was able to golf with only one eye. I mean, I can't imagine having no.

Peripheral I feel like any kind of medical complaint that you want to bring up, I wouldn't do it to people over the age of seventy.

They're always going to be able to get you.

Yeah, one or three or four up me yes, I uh. It was very embarrassing. It's just like when you try and talk about your mom dying and someone's like, oh, I know, my grandma died. It's like, well, that's not totally the name, unless, of course, your grandma raised you.

That's a different situation, right, Karen.

You know, here's the thing about everything is it's all in context.

It is.

Yeah, I shan't judge Anny's others. I'm not here to judge.

Shan't I can't and want and want from here on out.

Our guest today has played clubs and colleges.

So many colleges.

I mean, we got let's get out of the small talk, right because it's not. Oh okay, let's get into the bigger talk.

Yeah, we got fish, We got fish to fry.

Yeah, clubs and colleges all across this great land and Canada, where she also sometimes.

Shoots a TV show. Put your hands together at home, Clap to yourself for Alice Wetterland. Bye bye Alice.

Hey guys, welcome high, Thank you for having me.

Am I right, do you shoot a resident alien in Canada?

Yes?

I knew just by looking at some footage that it wasn't Colorado. Those mountains you.

Know your mountains man, I do.

I'm a mountain man on site.

Yeah, I knew it was a mountains on site, Yeah it was.

It's mostly on screen.

It's in Canada and Vancouver.

We shoot that show, and so that's where you've been going and living for most way.

Yeah.

Yeah, how is it up there? How do you?

How are you enjoying it up there? You know, Karen, I wish I could tell you I was having a good time. Oh, but no, what if I just didn't tell you.

I wish I could tell you, You're like, but I can't say anything for the rest of this that's I can't go on the record about how much I'm enjoying it.

I do enjoy the show. It's like the best show I've ever worked on and probably will.

Ever m It's the one that Alan Tudik plays the alien. Yeah, yeah, I love that guy.

He's so funny. He's really a nice person and wonderful to have. And then everybody else on the show I love. There's nobody is bad, you know what I mean, when somebody's bad. Nobody's bad. And like I worked well anyway.

Tell us names.

And there's just like it's great. But this town is not my favorite place. I'm a city person. I really like to be in a highly populated like zone where there's just NonStop like I like a store, like a place that has stores that sell like zines and magic mushrooms. And then also like it's got a hard boiled egg restaurant, you know, Like I just like there to be multi healthy, you know. And and and Toronto was like that and

Over, right.

Yeah, it's like giant buildings made for residents, but they're just empty and owned by at Yeah.

There also is a funny thing about how Canadians like promote themselves as like, oh, well, we care about our people because we have healthcare and we do, you know, and then like you go to Hastings Street in Vancouver and it's like, to quote Andy Haynes a Moon's Apocalypse, it's like the worst like uncared for population of houseless people with immense drug problems that like are just like that were in a mental hospital. They had like a facility to deal with all the people that had mental

Yeah?

I feel like they always act like they're better than us.

And that thing that happened is shutting down services and mental health facilities, is what happened in the eighties in California and why there is such a large unhoused population of people who truly do need help. They need someone to give them their medicine every day. There's a section of all basically all civilization that needs that kind of help. And when you shut that down to say, oh, we'll save on our taxes, you're absolutely screwing those people and your.

Yeah, and is that why you support Rick?

And the reason I'm here to do is, first of all, my friend Gwyneth and my friend Kim Kay both told me just tweet it, it'll be.

Fun, you can get involved.

But now I really believe, no more services for anybody.

It's every man for himself, knife fight in the street when everybody like started endorsing him. I was like, what a choice, right, yeah, because if you go to Gwyneth's like Twitter, because I hadn't like looked, it was all her like talking about like greening bitcoin, and you're like,

Right, But the.

Idea that you'd before Rick Caruso, when it's like he's a billionaire developer that we know, like those are the people that are ruining all cities because it's like just go and take money from other places that need it and build up into its busy obviously the Hunger Games. It's just it is so And then they tried to make it social media hit yah, and hey, you.

Seem so stupid. Do you can't possibly they're so out of touch that they don't understand how stupid they seem to the people that they want to impress. Well, didn't work. That's the beautiful part.

Karen Bess is like they're still counting votes for her, I know, like the gap is wide between her and it's like he spent so much of his own money.

Yeah, that's right.

Someone just entered the chat that two of my favorite cats and one.

What if her cat's name was Rick Caruso? And you know what I said before I knew the candidate. So this cat is actually great at Zoom because he really doesn't mind being held like in a certain like he likes he like doesn't mind this if I do this. Oh yeah, and he's really photogenic, you know, he just like, yes, he's beautiful.

Yeah.

I've seen this cat in other Zoom interviews because I was watching trying to watch clips of Resident Alien and I ended up watching a lot of like promotional interviews you did and your kitty is on your lap and pretty much him.

Yeah, did she blow up Vancouver in those interviews too? I mean did she really attack the city itself?

Yeah?

So it brings.

Now I didn't bring them there. I brought them to Toronto one time and it was a disaster. And the other reason it's like I can't go to like I can't travel within where I'm at. Like if I go and I'm working somewhere and I bring my cats, they're like really high maintenance. They don't you know, they like need I get screamed at the second I get home with like a laundry list of stuff that went wrong.

Him and he's like, okay, I forgive you then for hiding the other cat from me, And.

I'm like, it was you didn't look. He's always forgetting about one of the rooms. He's got like an acorn brain. He thinks that really like, well, I didn't check the White House. He thinks that room's the White House. That's not. You don't get it. Who's president?

Probably don't even know that either, cat brain.

I know who's president. I like that cat's markings. The marking on that cat's head makes.

It look like he is a little bob where the bangs are parted just on either side of his eyes, Like it looks like he is a mop top who got the haircut?

Yeah, it's edgy.

I've only had cats and white cats, and there's that's an all in one.

That's a great cat.

White cats are more rare.

Yeah, I don't know what. I just got lucky early on with the white cats.

I learned about that, Like when a cat is in utero, the way that the markings are determined is that there's like a certain amount of like pigmentation that's coded for that cat. And as it like spreads out from the like the back, the ridge is their spine and this coast are like randomly spreads out, so it's literally like it's being dripped with paint and then whereever it goes where it ends up.

Oh wow, isn't that funny?

Yeah, it's that Brittie just didn't have enough to get all the way to get all the way to close those bangs on the front. Yeah, and that's something I know and he doesn't know. Now, did you read that on your phone? No?

But I did.

I did read something recently, so my a friend and friend who is you would know I was talking to him about spiders, and I was like, did you know they're all girls? And he was like, who told you that? And I was like, well, they're all girls because the bigger the spiders that you see are big, and the and they're the male ones are small and you can't see him because they're so so small. And I was like very confident about this, and then like I had

I think with black widows on cartoon idea, you're on you're onto something because black widows the big, big scary spiders with the red hourglass.

You never see the boy black widows.

And oh that hour glass.

They're little and they're like, hey, nineteen fifties, whoa.

I like, look at the figure on that venomous legged, not in little the gams.

I am very attracted to black widowed spiders and that's my little kink.

I hope one day one bites me literally little. Yes, yes, let's talk about.

Our tiniest kinks. It's I like when there's like a vial that somebody wears around their neck.

Yeah, I M I'm not kidding.

For a little while, I had a real vial with real crack rocks in it. I can't remember where I acquired it, but I just kept it because I thought it was funny and I didn't think that Wow, if someone caught me with this, I'd be in trouble.

But I wanted to wear it as a hilarious necklace. I was young.

A hilarious necklace.

No one would ever stop and say, is that a vial of crack from a movie?

You're trying to bring it up. Yeah, does everybody have in their necklaces?

I'm always playing with it and dangling it. Oh, this old thing.

It's just cracks are in your jewels.

I really wish I could remember how I found it. I think I found it. There is any answer.

So speaking to like when you were younger and not as funny as you are now, Chris, I was bsically on a girl girl's weekend, and I'm a woman I'm friends with told me that her her friends got divorced. And I have two boys who became teenagers during the divorce and the guy, the husband is awful and is radicalizing the kids and turning them into like neo cons

How do you lure them in just with things like our parents.

Send them like sort of like a you know, like like in scared straight camps, you know, I don't know, more just involved or something. And then they get there and one of the classes is like this is what I conceived of, and I'm sure you guys could improve upon this. But there's like a stand up comedy portion where they perform at the end of the camp, you know.

And then will there be activities like canoeing and archery? Yes?

I was also thinking there be like men who like have been deprogrammed that would be like part of the council counselorship, you.

Know, right right, yeah, just like a.

Real Jeff Bridge's energy. Just like yeah, I was like, well that whoror you know, excuse me, we don't say that, you know.

Oh yeah, get them to say things and correct themselves in front of the boys, that would be a good massive Yeah.

It's catching on. So it's like a kickstarter.

Now, that's kind of I mean, that's what Bible camp was for me, except it didn't work.

It's the opposite.

Yeah, it's the opposite. Yeah, I think it's great. It's a great idea. You just got to lure them with activity. You got to make a brochure with beautiful It seems.

To me though, there's kind of there there's a problem solved right there where if the dad wants them to be neocons, then there's a great chance that went around the time of them being fifteen, they're going to be like, hey, fuck you and good then go to you know, start be theater students or something.

There's like a built in rebellion. Yeah, but there is this, like it's it's a greater issue of the like online coercing of like a whole generation of young men into becoming Yes, that's very real, and I want to be a part of undoing that, you know, Yeah.

Not just the dad, but online more is probably even a bigger threat.

You know how in like activism, there's like this whole thing We've talked about it in the past couple of years of like certain people having the energy for things that other people don't have, you know, and like not making all your black friends explain everything all the time because like it sucks to have to re engage with your trauma, et cetera. So like I feel like of women in the in living in like a rape culture. I'm not a survivor of like actual rape or anything.

I mean, I think you you like to touch right onto things when you do your stand up, and then you actually do make it funny. My thing is that I think the humiliation aspect of your camp concept is actually maybe gas on the already problematic barbecue fire that we're having.

My idea is true. My idea is take that the idea is that a lot of these kids like they get like really insular in this world and their ideas are kind of untested in reality. And then the busting out into reality is like an act of violence. That's when they end in the world. And then the justice system enters the equation and you know, enters the chat and like one thing or another happens. But like this would be an idea of like like the what's the

Yeah, turning someone stand up down by not laughing is a good way to do that.

But you we all do it so we all know what the experience of bombing can do to your soul. The humbling. It's incredibly humbling, and like, I honestly feel like more people should go through it because it gives you this feeling of like you're all the self doubt you could ever possibly muster in your life enters you know, into your brain at once. It's crazy and it's just

It's you make a big soft lunch tray.

Oh are you crafty? I'm so crafty. Yeah, I like super crafty. Behind me, you'll see the whole there's the sewing machine is here.

So you've been making clothing.

All my life?

Out all my life? Oh so soft? Oh got it? You put you put thumbtacks there by your elbow.

A craft still a bunch of thumbstuff, some tacks in it. And I'm like, it'll be fine, so close, I'll just work with it.

Yeah.

I really feel like everyone should learn to use a sewing machine.

I had a patch for my jacket.

And I I I don't even know how to go.

I'm horrified you're gonna want to hand so that though.

Yeah, Oh my dad did it on he just fall. He did a great job.

Patches don't eat. Sewing machines won't work for patches. You gottat you gotta hands.

Yeah, it went through the patch and this denim jacket. I can show you the final project. But maybe it wasn't good for the motor of the machine or something.

It was well, no, it's the agility, like to get around the little areas.

Yeah, yeah it was.

He definitely was working hard at it, but I was just My point is, my dad knows how I's use a sewing machine, and I should as well.

I think it would be cool to make clothing. I did not know that you did that.

Oh, I love I love it. I do it every once in a while, but I don't I don't do it enough. Like I did spend two and a half full days sun up to sundown working on a Renaissance festival costume for myself and my partner and he I had like bloomers, we had a matching and it was like the style what was sort of like Italian Renaissance. And I can probably show you photos, but it's just like it doesn't do it justice to be like I can show you the actual bodice that I.

May bring up most cast photo of the borgo. You're just like, it's just a.

Game of Thrones, hun all. So this is like this here is like the best part that I did is the bodice.

WHOA, that's amazing, amazing.

Yeah, it's like and then yeah, and I like spray painted these to be tarnished a little bit. And then it has like one of those skirts with like a split, you know. And I was so proud and I made an underdress. It's all there. I was so proud. I had pearls in my fucking hair and what happened may care a costume as well. He had one of those poof hats with a feather. Oh yeah, And I was just like yes. And then we got there and everybody's like, yeah, we also.

Do that, right, yeah.

You just you just basically got in the front door of just like yep, you're you're allowed to come in with them.

And some people just didn't and they're like we didn't, and so we were like we did too.

Yeah, and it was.

Just like, oh fuck, this sucks, Like we look like we're in Shrek. And so we went to the mall.

That is fully a Shrek dress when you just showed.

Yeah, And so we just took the outfits to the mall. And then did you get a big response at the mall? I like people there was like in Nordstrom, there was like two chairs with a small stool between betwixt them, and then there was a father and a mother sitting in the chairs and then the son like it balanced. It was. It was such a tableau that I was like, what if I thought this was royalty? So I like went up and I like bowed deeply to them. You know, you like got it. You know. It was just great.

That's a good idea.

Actually, rather than go to a Renaissance festival where everyone's doing it, everyone's going to have a outc costuming each other, just go to the mall check.

Out my TikTok for the listeners at home, because I did a TikTok and it was the most successful TikTok I've ever done. It was like eight hundred thousand views and like there's like a I think most of the comments are because people were worried because I was doing it on an escalator and they were just millions of comments of people being like don't you're you shouldn't do that?

What did you do it? Just like it sucked in the machinery.

I just went on the escalator and I pretended to like be from the Renaissance, and I like walked and thought it was a regular stairs. I like kind of without looking, go around the corner, and then the minute it starts moving, it's like and it was like nobody was noticing it in the mall itself. So the TikTok is just like what is this person? And uh? It did really well, and they were like do a series and I think I might.

That's a great yes of the Renaissance lady, Yeah in modern times, yes, yeah, yes, that's a great idea, so fun.

Yeah, when I go to a Renaissance face, I don't dress. I just ran to a snake and put it around my neck. No one messes with me while I'm juggling. I get a little tired of people that are actually scared of escalators.

Like I have a lot of friends there.

I love getting tired of that. I love that being here until you die.

On that it's done top here for me right other than you know, and then below that strife, struggling names top, but up top, these people hesitantly get on an escalator like it's going to eat their toes off.

I mean, so.

They've had most people have had a ton of practice, and they can't pretend they have it. And unless there's a storyline of like I'm from the forest, but for the most part you've done it before. Just take the second one. Yeah, wait, one, go to your I.

Think people are like kids, and I'm like, well, yeah, yeah kid, yeah, but kids are in danger by virtue of being stupid and small.

Yeah, I as if a kid falls down and their hair is suddenly on the escalator, then we have a problem.

I understand that if a.

Kid falls down and their hair is on fire.

Sure they're already They're already.

I've already got the hair fire.

I think we can all just walk away knowing we had nothing to do with it, and we don't have to worry, and we need to walk away, and we walk away these days.

Let those kids cool off, just walk away t k.

Ce oh ltk. Let those kids.

Let the kids still kids. Let's let those kids.

Let those kids just cool it down.

So else, wait, your renaissance lady in modern times is potentially the TikTok series.

You might do? Yeah, yeah, I mean it takes quite a bit of effort to put on the whole thing, you know, and get around, but I would it was very fun.

Could you rent a horse and go to a drive through? I just would love to pick Thomas yeakey little bit.

Keeth pitch on it, because I was thinking about would you do, like what maybe go to like a gym, but your dress keeps getting caught and just like you couldn't get what are you even? Like why are people doing things at the gym? You know? Like what is even that.

Yes, going up and beseeching people, I be seech you, who are you running from? And then they're like pulling out an AirPod?

Ye what Yeah, I'd bequeath your will? Is that what you did? You grow up to?

Modern day people like a security guardens be like many pardons, my vassal or whatever.

I did that a lot, and people either loved it or they had no time for it.

Yeah.

It was really funny to watch people like, like, were you in Los Angeles? Yeah?

I feel like people here it's either their tourists and they love it and they're like thank god someone has a costume on, or it's people who are like I got to get up at six for my own job doing this exact same thing.

Right, I'm going to keep but like I think I'm going to keep it small. So like, uh, let's start with like another mall, maybe drinking fountains, you know.

Yeah, just post up at the drinking fountain like you're in charge of the water supply.

No. No, I'll be going to the drinking fountain and the water comes out and it's like, oh, from where does it spring forth?

Yeah?

From how the kind we have to fill up your water bottle, you know, yeah, and you're just trying to figure it out.

That is yeah.

One.

That's like many scenes in a row from Bill and Ted where they're baffled by the technology of modern times.

That have to also, I have to.

Watch Bill and Ted so I don't just repeat everything Bill and Ted.

To do everything they didn't do. That movie was missing a lot of possible.

We've gone forward in technology since then so far.

You know what, screw it? I think you.

I think you too should go to a water slide in full renaissance guard. Yes, people will get it.

You're the missing character from the first Bill and Ted movie that they never talked to.

You're the Renaissance lady. People always talk about Bill and Ted, But what about what's the girl name that rhymes with Bill? Jill Phyllis and.

Meg, Meg, Ted and Meg.

If you speak fast enough, rhyme totally perfectly together.

Jill and Meg, Bill and Ted, like Nicki Minaj could make it rhyme.

I think that's terrific. I think, are you still playing baseball? Why aren't you playing a lot of baseball? I'm playing in a baseball You're playing in a baseball league. Inside one. Yes, it's like a.

It's like a I guess they're refer to as like beer leagues, sure, because it's adult drinking. And that there's wood bats, so we have that and we only have we yeah, pretty much only have wood bats. And then it's hard fastball overhand pitching. Probably our fastest pitcher is like around sixty eight miles an hour, and we have Yeah, I guess we have five five teams in the league right now. It's I love it. It's I've been playing

Oh that's good though, to stay. I mean usually we all just lose it.

Yeah, but I wasn't good enough for that to like be on varsity teams. Yeah, you know what I mean. I stayed literally the same skills.

You know how the game works, and you can, like you can get in there and participate, but no one, you're not going to bat home the winning.

Nobody's going to rely on me for the winning hit.

And there's a chance they might say, try to hit it toward her, and then you might surprise them with, actually, hey, I can catch.

The greatest thing about that is that no one can try to hit towards me because I am the catcher. Yes, brilliant mode the great I love it. I can because it doesn't bother my knees to be in that position for a really long time. Also, my boyfriend's the pitcher. So we're experimenting with this new thing where instead of like doing one, two, three signals, we just do like vibes, like we just sort of make like.

You know, oh yeah, because you can talk about it at home.

Yeah, And I sort of try to communicate like this, and you know whatever that means to you. You know, at the pitcher, you send me that ball and dragging my index figure across my neck, like does that mean the killer pitch? Or like you're in big trouble right if you don't, what does it mean? And it's for him to interpret and then give back to me. Is it work your experiment?

No, a lot of confusion.

No, we're actually we're starting our season next week. Oh, we'll see, We'll have to see it in action.

Yeah.

I knew you played baseball because we did a show once and you were fully dressed up for baseball.

That's crazy. I remember that was a really long time ago.

Yeah, isn't that strange how much time has passed. We're getting old and the earth keeps spinning nuts.

I actually played in a co ed entertainment softball league in the mid to late nineties, and I was on speed at the time. So I was really good because I had played high school softball. It's a big deal in my hometown. All the girls play softball and you you're supposed.

To be good.

It's a whole thing.

Yeah.

So anyway, I was like, where are you from? And where are you from from.

Northern California, from Pamama, and so it's like small town, you know, there's only a couple options and the girls. It's like girls are playing what are considered boys sports and being very competitive in them because you have as much attention and kind of pressure as the boys do. It's not like people people take it very seriously and get into it. So then you are driven to be like, either you want to go on to play in high school or you quit. And so everybody and we like that.

Like, hey, so you're playing second Boost.

That means there's.

More might come to you.

And I was like, I literally was like screaming at like these old like road comics. I'd be like, do not explain how to play second based to me? Like I was out of my mind because it was just so fucking It was like, why are you assuming that I don't know?

If I'm standing here.

Last night, my friend Mary was beating They were like playing doubles pool down here, and she was kicking their ass and the guy she was playing with was missing every ball, but he's still was going up and pointing to where she needed to hit on the ball.

That's She's like cleaning onto it, clean on.

Yeah, I'm winning, I'm better than you, and he still couldn't that obstacle.

You know, you would have loved this thing that happened last season and Resident Alien the they wrote a Baseball like arc into my characters storyline that where I meet the love interest in my in that season and in Canada, like it's just not that big of a deal, like

Have you been able to watch it yet? It's it in the second.

Yeah, that stuff is out already, that's.

We already is hilarious for you to watch. Is it just feel going through tough?

Because like we you know, I know that that was you know, fourteen to twenty eight hours of my time and then I a four seconds you know what I mean? Like, yeah, so much of it the scene is like me having dreamy eyes at this guy, and then other plotlines from other people from the town. You know that you cut back to one cool thing that like someone running one time, you know, and yeah, but I just remember that well, you know, and that's what most of the show is.

Also, that's such a weird thing of like baseball being so ubiquitous here and then you're in a place that everybody speaks English. It's very similar to your home country. There's not a ton of differences except for this one that's so beyond where that is the resident alien experience for yourself.

They made me practice baseball, even though I was like, just came from baseball, so I really anyway, So they rented out a field so I could do it, and it was the field we'd be working on. So I got to the field and I was like, huh, Like, I wonder if they meant to do this. I called the director or the head writer, Chris Up, and I was like, hey, it's a little league field, just maying sure that you wanted that because it's very small and

Yeah, no, I wouldn't even notice that, but I stopped after little leg.

I don't know about the big boy fields.

Yeah, big boy fields are red closer.

Oh, I've seen the stains on men's shirts after the Dodgers and the sorrow in their eyes they fell down on dirt.

Alice, do you want to talk at all about your podcasts or do you or do you not want?

Yeah? I want to hear yeah, okay, no, no, don't make me.

You have too while you have these other jobs we're talking about. So one of your podcasts is a Missus Mazel podcast.

Correct, Yeah, they're both on hiatus now though, so and and Treks has been on hiatus forever because basically Verona and Veronica and I wanted to change formats and we could never. We just Veronica and I are two people who are not the people that should do the thing, Like one of us need to be the one, you know what I mean, and neither of us are the one. Right, It's like a competition on who can be more late

That makes me think of when Chris and I first started, and it would be like what it was a bit of a like, first of all, who could get a person at the very last minute? And second, which is kind of hard for a let us pick you up at the airport stand up comic podcast.

Yeah, and it's it, that's what it used to be.

We like, that's a word we don't like to say anymore.

We can't lax is inaccessible, We just can't go there anymore. And also then quarantine shut it all down because then it's like, yeah, we're involving people in our air exchange. But yeah, it used to be the same way where it would be like, we have to do.

Another one, how are we going to do this?

And both people who are have both lived our lives. I think I free to say this about you, Chris, where we both have we're the kind of people that other people do stuff and then we're like, sounds good, follow that person absolutely, So we were extra frustrated where it was just like, well, okay, fine, now I'm the person saying to you we have to do this.

Okay, fine, let's do it. And then yeah, I've had that experience so many times. In fact, Sean Peerlman and I like a number of years ago we were like, you know, we both want to be writing stand up differently than we are, and we so we're like, let's do a meet up and like work like go over jokes together like in person, you know, because sometimes when you talk your jokes out it it impacts your writing. And that was a few years ago and we haven't

Yeah, I haven't seen Sean for a long time.

Years have gone by.

I haven't seen that anyone.

No one, ye just text a person casually and then not talk about the writing you're not doing.

I mean we we abandoned that long ago. I still want to do it. It is a good idea. It's I love, you know, I love other people's brains and talking and it always devolves into talking about like stand up theory, which is my favorite thing to do anyway. So sure, yeah, and the whole meals are right off. This was a business Goulle sing.

Yeah, you got to write with your friends just for tax purposes alone.

But my speaking on podcasts, my friend Heather do it. I'm pretty sure we least one of you knows her. She's she ran a show, uh for a while, and she's just like she has this really specific sense of humor that I love, and she started a podcast that is her it's a Patreon podcast and she does it in her home with a soundboard, and like it's very just her, and you know, the levels are all off, and it's like it's like a it's like a zene,

You know, you know, you know who has a great one is? Do you know Chase Bernstein?

Oh, Chase has one.

It's called Composed and it's her. It is one of the funniest things. Oh my god, see it is. She She starts everyone with writing a letter to the thing she's going to talk about, and the one she did on wordle so you hear like the sound effect of typing in the background, and she's like, dear wordle, wordle. I start that line alone. I like was laughing out

I love it. And Sarah, Yeah, I was talking to you, Chris about this Sarah Shaeffer's podcast. I think she's doing it with Caitlyn Jenner, No, Caitlyn gil And like the hard thing for me about that is that, like, I love Caitlyn gil separately also so much, and I'm like, but I don't love hearing two women that I love together because I feel jealous that.

I'm not You're left out.

I'm like, I want to be there with my friends. Anyway.

It's just something.

About a woman alone talking it is like it's just so weird and intimate and just like there's something fuck up going on and everybody's brain and I just fucking it's so I'm I'm like, I'm working on a script right now and I'm I'm on my last It's obviously terrible, and I'm fucking like gonna die when I finish it, and I'm gonna send it out and everybody's gonna be like, you should quit comedy, and I'm gonna definitely, so I have to finish that. And then the next thing I'm

And I can.

It's called Bimbo Summit, And she's got a free one on her Patreon that you can listen to called Addressing the Allegations, which is about my old next door neighbor.

Yeah, you're right, Karen, that I did. I don't know where the pressure was coming, didn't. We used to do this episode every month, Yes, were there? Okay, a whole month had gone by, and I guess you weren't in town. I did one and by myself, just to fill a gap, and I yes, at the end, I felt like I had gone crazy. But now we've gone through a whole pandemic of talking to ourselves and having conversations with plants, so maybe it wouldn't be as crazy causing, right.

I think that you have to be the kind of person that would pre write what that say, fifty minutes might look like, right, which I will never do. I will never do.

Yeah.

So if it was my thing, which I knew when I was going to pick you up, it was going to be my thing, and I couldn't take three seconds to pre decide just to bullet points. Don't just do this off the top of your head. You won't like it and you will have nowhere to go and nowhere to land. But I was like, no, watch this, I'm going to improvise this whole thing, a thing I definitely can't do and don't like doing it.

There's something about like the brain under pressure that is so fascinating to me that like I can, like if I have a really big stand up set coming up, like I can memorize the whole set, like word for word, and I cannot remember it when I'm in that space of like being because it feels like you're being assaulted with like the pressure is like whatever it is makes

I think it's the silence, Like I think in the immediacy, like when you're doing stand up, at least there's somebody somewhere giggling or supporting, But when you're talking into a microphone like this and there's no one else, and then you're just like, oh, of course this isn't good.

Oh.

I mean, I think it's reflective of like my mind state, which is deeply negative.

And it's funny to be also a comedian because we're just like people that but probably all of us in our lives. When we have a phone conversation with somebody who's not a comedian, or just a regular non phone conversation like we're just doing all the time, that person is not kidding word in edgewise.

Why why is.

It weird to do by suddenly a problem now exactly like our brother in law says four times.

Suddenly it's like that's my time, goodbye, Hey, hang.

This has been the kitchen. It's been real.

Every conversation that's.

I also think I have.

I know for a fact I have defiance disorder. So so it's almost like, if this is the thing I don't post, if this is the thing I'm supposed to be doing, then I.

Will figure out a way to fuck that up. Is that really a thing? Yeah, defiance disorder? Yes, it is writing that down.

Because it's a thing where you just can't have people tell you what to do because you can't, you then won't be able to do it. Okay, So okay, So I'm sure there's a more, much more like alcoholics by the book.

Yeah, in the Big.

Book in AA there's like this incredible passage that really actually might be in the twelve and twelve. It's my favorite line in all of the literature, which is when we boil it and it's like some symptoms of alcoholism and like alcoholic thinking is like the words are genuine alarm at the prospect of work.

Yeah, genuine alarm. That is amazing.

I love genuine alarm because I really described and it's just it's not like oh no, it's not even like shoot, it's like literally I got to get out of here.

Your hair stands up. Ye, you're hired. Yikes.

I used to call in.

There was a job I had in Sacerbaa, one of the first real jobs I ever had, and it was just like a coffee place, and the girl that worked before me hated me so much because every day she worked from like six in the morning until three o'clock in the afternoon, and I was supposed to take over from three on, but every single time, every day I would call up with a different excuse of why I

That truly us my attitude, yes, yes, for years, like why would you plan around a thing that you decided should be the thing? And then told me about, all right, you're going to rely on me because of your bike boyfriend.

You have to go on some weird couple's Kermit and Miss Piggy bike ride.

Sorry, I ruined your Muppet Show dream.

I didn't mean to.

And your feet even touch the pedals. What's happening down?

I just remembers the whole theater gasping because it was the first time we saw Kermit's legs.

Oh, those gorgeous legs. Oh, somebody, somebody, climaxes. Finally there's the legs.

There, it is there, they are.

Thank you so much for talking to us today. I love both of you all so much. I think you're so funny and good people, but mostly funny, which is what we really care about about this stuff.

The whole time. It was really good to tell you to thank you.

It was awesome. Thank you so much.

Comedy I loved You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D y n n R. This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Casey O'Brien.

Mixed by John Bradley, artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.

Thank you, Oh You're welcome, Hong Kong