S3 - Ep. 27 - Tig Notaro

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. You give us time and a termino and gay, we want to send you off in style.

You wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine? Malcorn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need you ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgareth.

Hello, my friend Karen.

Hello Chris.

Oh oh, I didn't know you'd take that tone with me?

Oh yeah, all the way down, just a lower tone to Chinatown.

Yeah, all the way down.

And they took it downtown and.

Bay Area and back down. I went to see a concert in the desert.

Let's hear about it.

We okay, so at the beginning this you saw my we we were going to go in together with this on this story.

On this, well you go first, and mine's more of a tag. You actually have a story.

I mean, well, that's building this up. It's it's gonna need I hear.

It's unbelievable racing.

This story is reliant on your tag. I just want you to know that ahead of time.

Okay, that I'm gonna beef it up. I'm gonna embell it.

Please beef it up ahead of time. You can add the beef whenever you see fit.

I'm gonna sprinkle beef on top like a taco salad of your story.

Oh now I'm hungry. I went to that. I don't I'm not a desert person. It was very hot.

I went there for a memorial of a more of an acquaintance, and I was in a house with people who very much knew each other. And then I laughed suddenly and went to this concert. But the drummer of super Chunk, one of my favorite bands, had gotten COVID. So I saw an acoustic version very in the very hot desert, and add the beef whenever you want. It was not a band that I that. They were uncomfortable. They said from the beginning, Wow, this is h I sure wish we had a drummer. He feels fine and

Uh drama, Maybe some behind the scenes drama from the tone.

Yeah I could.

I could hear some arguing and things being said that go back, go back dozens of years. But it Actually they do have an album that is acoustic, and those songs were great, but I want to sing along like it's nineteen ninety three.

Super chunk Is can do whatever they want to do. I think they're very talented there. I wouldn't think of them first as acoustic.

No, no, they are allowed.

I wouldn't say punk band, but I overheard the parking attendant described them as a punk band from the seventies, and I wanted to correct him, but he was busy parking cars.

Yeah, he's not into details. He's more about, you know, big swings, right, just general information.

Yeah, yeah, and he it was. It was a swing and a miss, but it was a big one.

Well.

My only kind of lightly spiced ground beef that I have to sprinkle on top of this salad right now is that I had. You told me that you were going down to see them, and I was like, well, I get to see them here in Los Angeles. I don't even have to drive.

Oh you had me, I did.

I didn't want it right in your face. Thrown in when we were already fighting.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was a bad fight last week.

It was such a terrible flip chunk, What.

Are you a drummer? With COVID all of a sudden, So I was going to go see them at the Terogram Ballroom Sunday night, which I think was the night after you saw them in the Desert, and then the show got canceled, and I felt I was really excited to see them. It felt very like it's time to revisit the past and healed those old wounds as stand in the Teargramd ballroom. But once I saw on Twitter they were like, we're so sorry, we have to cancel.

Yeah, and I did the research that let them know they shouldn't do a second show in Los Angeles because the one in the desert. They felt, obviously, let's not do this in the big city.

Yeah that's well, because that's hard. Suddenly you're all like you're supposed to be fingerpicking.

Hey, they did it.

Jams total jams.

They were great. But yeah, it's just it's let's pretend we're a different band.

Yeah, it's probably not satisfying to them, especially having waited to go on tour. You're all excited, you're finally on tour again after the pandemic. Yeah, and they're like, oh wait, it's still the pandemic.

Speaking of waiting for satisfaction, Hey, we have a guest today that is a dear friend of mine and yours mine. I'm very excited and have her back. I used to keep her to myself in a tiny house. Everyone put your why do I want to say, put your hands together, clap in your houses that as you listen and at your office desks for today's guest, tig nataro.

Thank you, Thank you. There's enough of me to go around. Easy, everybody, Everyone sit down, relax in your homes. There's enough of me to go around.

The irony that we didn't introduce you by saying she plays clubs and colleges all over the country is pretty amazing, because we say that about every guest and you actually, technically you do play clubs and colleges all over the country, don't you.

Well, I mean, if I can be specific theaters.

Yeah, yes, you can.

A lot of these colleges have theaters on campus. I just won't let go of the fact that you stopped doing colleges.

That we all stopped in two thousand.

Well, you know, I didn't go to college, but I did go to colleges to do comedy all over this country.

I was my intro was going to be today's guest hasn't been to college?

Put your hands together for too, guitar.

You know that'll be the new catch all intro today's guests. Didn't go to college for anybody? Anybody? Right, everybody?

Yeah? Is that your dog? Or did you leave your door open?

She does have that vibe right of like, hey, I'm recording right now. Well this is my new puppy Blossom. Oh hi Blossom, see hi. Yeah.

I love thinking of you being that casual that you would just have left your door open and a dog came in and started looking you and you're not miss a beat.

Just kind of be real calm about it.

I was gonna say, Chris and I basically lived like that with our doors open and stray animals would walk into our house and then we own them together.

I think that you.

I had the kitty come because I had my side doors. I had my own doors, so I can leave in the middle of the night and take I had a.

Door too, Chris.

Yeah, but you would have to go.

You couldn't leave, like get out of bed and roll out the front door and play in the street like I did.

I was letting you on that one. Yeah I didn't. I yeah, Yeah, welcome.

I'm gonna one up you. Uh, yeah, I would. I was letting that kitty in probably for a longer amount of time than you know, that kid. That kitty was coming into my bed given me.

I think now's the time to tell her how much time it was.

I know what this feels like. Honestly, my son Max called our family together and told us, I think it's time that I tell somebody this. I think it's time you know this. And we were waiting and he said, when I I was a baby, I used to eat our baby toothpaste directly from the tube.

How old is Max?

He'll be six in June. But the fact that he's been holding on to this and finally announced it gives me hope that there's not terrible secrets, you know.

What I mean? Yeah, that is so sweet.

He threw his own little toothpaste intervention also too.

Baby toothpaste is really delicious, have you ever It's sweeter and like kind of more flavorful than adult toothpaste or it's bubblegum flavor.

Yeah, well you're trying to lure you into brushing your teeth and not eating it though.

No, but I have.

I've tasted a little bit, but I just just a very small amount, not enough to where I had to announce it to my family that I'm eating toothes of toothpaste.

Yeah, and it's become a problem.

Yeah, guys, I got get this off my chest.

I just like that he felt like there was a safe amount of time that had passed, or it's like, I think I can go ahead and tell everybody this now.

Way, it was Stephanie and Fluff and everyone was in different rooms in the house, and he had everyone we have to meet in the living room in ten minutes.

Well, and there's two more cats. We have kitty city over here. Now we have kitty Kitty City is in full swing over at the notaro.

Oh, I can't how many cats?

Three it's Fluff, Skip and Linus.

Do you ever call that cat, and then he picks up the phone and goes, Kitty City, Can you hold please?

Well, it's just constant. We have so many calls at Kitty City.

They're not.

Nobody's that calm when they answer the phone at Kitty City.

If you aren't already doing it, and imagine a cat that is an old timey operator.

Yeah, just at a at.

A board, a button board.

And a little paw pushing down Kitty City. Please hold Kitty City. Can you hold please, Kitty City and never get back to anyone.

Yeah, every call is left hang if that if that visual, If you aren't able to see it, you're like you're left brained or something. You're missing out because that is a cat feverishly typing. Is I'll never get tired of it, I'll tell you that.

No, yeah, be it.

A mean tired of any cat doing anything?

Yeah, I get tired of him dying on me?

Yeah, on you, actually on you?

Yeah?

Except why it's my chest, the race thing, the resting place midnight easy.

The elephant graveyard for cats chest. They all go there secretly.

Just wake up and a dead cat's on my chest, like breakfast in bed. Here we go again, this again. I try and lick it back to life. Bathe it you know what I mean, lick it.

Bathe like a like a mother the nice way.

Yeah, the mother with a mustache.

And they do exist. They do exist.

It's gonna be me in a couple of years if not now, if I don't stay on top of things.

Yeah, really, Max, This next big confession is like, you gotta shave that musta. He gathers the family around Taga. I have to tell you that I think of you like once a month. Oh, because for many reasons, but because there is a ro card reader. It's astrology based terro readings. They look so similar to you except for their Russian accent. And every time I go they're really good at reading tarot cards. But it's always a bummer.

Please do I take I not to one up. Karen.

I think of you every day because on my wall there's a poster of a teenage Tom Cruise.

If if, if you do, you have nearby some wayfarer Bandra Ray band or band.

Ray I they're downstairs, and I feel silly because they are my favorite sunglasses. And I feel like one of those people that looks like a celebrity that's trying to feed into it more. And you know when people do that, ye hear that you look like someone, then you just and I'm not trying to.

Do it, but Karen, I, if you ever see taking a pair of sunglass, just the smile you have like this, you can morph into Tom Cruise and there doesn't need Did.

You see by chance the the the movie I was in Army of the Dead.

Of course I did, Okay, can I asked some questions about it?

Okay, I was going to say, that's a real there's some pictures of me where I'll show you on zoom and our our listeners. All of a sudden, it's the three of us.

Welcome back to you.

I took a bit of a break, but no, I I was a little alarmed how much I looked like Tom cruise in this Uh, you know enough to wear right.

There's something there's a top gun factor that's.

Happened a little bit.

Yes, flat suit that yeah? Wait?

Can I just ask really quick when that trailer came out? I am sorry because I only saw the trailer, But was it me cod? Was that pre COVID? Though? When that came out? Would I have seen it in the theater or did I see it at home by myself?

Nobody has seen it in the theater? Oh the trailer?

The trailer?

Yeah yeah, yeah, you saw it alone by yourself? Is that what you said?

That's because I have a memory, and maybe it was just because that's how people were talking about it on Twitter. But when you appeared in the trailer, I felt like people cheered, But I guess that was just in my house. But it was just like you kind of you're like halfway through the trailer, right, you step in and you have like a fucking grenade launcher or some gas can.

I have a gas can?

Yeah?

Yeah, And it wasn't If you close your eyes and imagine, like maybe a hypnotist brings you back to that moment, you realize the crowd cheering is just blossom barking.

Or snoring.

Oh wow, perfect timing.

And I was just I had that kind of like a quarantine psychosis where I was just like, yeah, yeah, I'm just see people everywhere. Yeah, she's done it, look at her.

Go thank you, house plants. You've been terrific.

Yes, well, if I can just follow up everyone thinking about each other.

I think about both of you.

I don't know the exact amount of times, but it's very frequent, and I'm sure I've probably said it to you both, and you probably both hear this from many people. But you are two of the funniest people living on the planet. And I was thinking earlier about how of course you both connected, you know, like, of course, of course, of course, of course you know. And well, it's true though,

And then turned to his.

Wife and we just went through the greatest hits and then I showed them the the Rastafarian bit that my brother hadn't even seen. And anyway she was she was dying laughing.

Oh that's because that being in that situation where someone's trying to uh sell a person and they're just it's with videos they randomly find, because I'm always like, well not this one, not.

This one, hold on, they're funnier in person.

No, this is long. Yeah.

I do it with dying with Henry Phillips to people all the time, and me too, pull up a random kitchen video and I'm like, that was good, but you got to.

See one of the classes.

There's a better one.

And then they're like, when can I when can I lea the room.

You know, the best Henry Phillips video is You and Your Fucking Coffee. When he goes, he brings his big coffee cup and he goes to vote in someone's going, you're right, so perfect. It's the most perfect comedy video. It's You and Your fucking Coffee and all he does is go and spill coffee everywhere because he's the guy that won't not bring a gigantic mug of coffee everywhere you go.

It is and that's one of those stories where if you shared it with somebody to go, oh, okay, yeah, you're like, no, you got it.

You got to see Henry Phillips. It's the funniest.

But to be to follow it up, my brother did say, and you're right, that guy is not the funniest.

Verst all that I love. He's the best. I love that.

When he was doing that sports talk radio program, I called in and just revealed I think he probably had to know.

I don't know about sports sports sticks Papa, but I do I do know how to talk around subjects.

I'm very good at that.

If there's something that's supposed to be talked about, I can veer away from it. So I'm perfect for I'm perfect for a sports talk radio show, and this is my audition.

By guys, please please call in and cast Chris on your radio show terrestrial only.

Please Drive Time Classic, Clear Channel based. Well, I love your brother, and I love you Tick.

I love you, and Karen, I love you, Thank you, Tick.

I love you Ti.

And I know there's a while that I should apologize for where I texted you weekly telling you that Stephanie and I couldn't stop listening to your album.

No No, I never apologize for that.

Yeve at the Bootleg Theater. We couldn't stop. We could not stop.

It really mattered because I will tell you this, Okay, it's hard enough to put whatever you think is good out and stand behind it. But guitar comedy it's rough. And so you're this thing where you were just like I need to tell you it's getting crazy or whatever. The enthusiasm it was just like, cause I give Chris shit about this all the time, where he'll be like it was a terrible audience and I was eating it. I'm like, you're wrong. I've seen you do this to yourself.

Every time, it nailed it, nailed it, nailed it.

But with something like that, we were like singing songs. It's just very vulnerable in a way that I kind of it's incredible. Didn't understand it's incredible.

It's incredible.

Thank yeah, yeah, yeah, that meant a lot.

Did you discover that album recently, tig Or? Are you talking years ago?

When you first years ago when it came out and then I turned Stephanie onto it and her head exploded, and then I mean to this day, we still reference it or sing the songs to each other. It's such a part of our lives, and it's just it's really one. I don't always enjoy a comedy album, just like I don't always enjoy a comedy special, but man, do I

Yes, oh my god, you both do that.

That's why I wouldn't when you say guitar comedy, we all think of parodies. We think of like, uh, playing along to joke telling, and you there's enough feel heartfelt moments that I that is kind of what I walk away with them, Like that business the Business Situation song someone posted that I love just the details in it.

It's not necessarily jokes. You don't have jokes in the lab.

But I think also the important element is that with I mean, you do so many different things, Karen, and if you are one of those people where the audience can rest assured that they're in good hands, so whatever it is that you're doing, you can sit back and go, this is going to be incredible.

You know what I just realized.

I think that that you have a calming tone to your voice that I don't have. I think I sometimes my voice brings people anxiety. You don't know where I'm going to go with a sentence. You do have a tone to your voice that people know it's going to be.

Okay, thank you. You know. I think I'm doing an impression of my psychiatric nurse mother, where everything is a little bit like, let's bring this down. Everything's fine. It's that. But it's funny to hear that, because, of course, my experience of doing comedy always was like I'm going to get on that stage and I'm going to fight these people one at a time. Like it was so aggressive and so.

And you would I saw you do it one at a time. You kick their teeth in and kick them out the door.

We all fight, you all, and you'll still laugh with my jokes. So it was always that's a very nice It's always good to hear other people. I think that's a thing on comedy that's so hard, and I think coming up in the nineties, no one ever was nice to anybody about their sets. It was so competitive until we all got to la I think, and people kind of started to realize like, oh, we have to be

We're fine.

I'm fine, I'll get mine.

Yeah.

It does not have to be a fight anymore now, and it isn't. Things have changed. Even skateboarding was like that. There's like a tough guy thing in the early nineties, like a territorial thing, and it it. I can always draw parallels with comedy and skateboarding, and people love to hear them.

But that's why he's doing it again. Come gather around, Yeah, get Chris's panel. Chris is starting his panel.

But yeah, it's it's kind of gone away. We're in a better place. The nineties were terrible but great for music. Mm hmmm, well it's true.

Yeah, I just mind and the sentence with thats too.

Oh in general, when you're playing drums, you look like.

Just a kid.

You we're like turned into a child on the ground. Your smile, you had like a look on your face that was not normal, one of your Tig character faces. And I'd seen all of them. All Tig and I used to do in our tiny hat is do little characters try them out on each other in the hallway, and then we go to our quarters and that was the show.

You'd go into your doors, I'd go in doors, side door, I'd go through the wall.

Amazing.

Every one of my favorite memories is at Sarah Silverman's roof party and for about a half an hour, wasn't it the three of us doing bits where we were pretending to end conversations and jump off the roof over and over where we were just kept finding spots where we're just like, oh my god, it's crazy. I have to get up at seven thirty. I'll see you guys later, and then just run towards the My.

Favorite the TIGS done many times is at a party that isn't her house.

Maybe talked about this before, but the bringing out the old file.

Again, Yeah yeah, why not? Ninety's number five sixty two. I've done it twice.

Yeah, but yeah, if you're do this at home, if you're listening or in your office, if you're ever at a party and you don't live there, just go out and announce, all right, everyone, I'm about to go to bed, so ten more minutes.

That's my favorite. Tag has a lot of party jokes, and that's the best one.

Hey, everyone, I just want to let you know I'm going to bed in like ten minutes.

When it's nine thirty.

People will start cleaning up. And then where it gets around that you don't live there, and.

It's just yes, But my point is always, I don't have to live there to be going to bed in ten minutes.

Now, which at least it's going to be my room.

I was serious.

I drive by our little house all the time, Tig, I just want to look at it.

Yeah, it looks great.

What neighborhood it was in Venice.

Abit Kenny area, Yeah, Abit.

Kenny area, when it still had an edge to it. Now it's Rodeo drive basically.

Yeah. Yeah.

Do you remember when I had I had like a fever. I was sick for like three weeks, and a plumber came over and for some reason this is kind of graphic, but the whole our pipe burst, and like the neighborhood we were on sitting on the neighborhood's.

Sewage and choice.

He was like, he said, yeah, and we loved it.

I was addicted to this stuff.

I'm like, I get so much good, good thinking done with this one hundred and four fever. But that was yeah, we were I was sick because of all the yeah, the just airborne bacteria that was.

It was. Maybe it's good we don't live there anymore.

Yeah, yeah, but the was the story about the plumber coming over.

It was I mean, you know, I was hoping you'd add some spicy beef to that one too, which is gross to talk about when you're talking about a broken septic system.

We were basically just using under the house as our toilet.

Yeah, along with all our neighbors.

Yeah, oh noah, should we go to commercial.

Yeah, and really just take a deep breath on this whole idea.

Yeah.

Yeah. When I was little, we had a septic system at our house because we lived way out in the country, so I guess we weren't on the city sewage line. And I have a very early memory of standing in the front yard and my dad had taken the lid off the septic tank and we were just watching shit and stuff go by because he was because it was like clogged up and stuff, and just being like, oh no, like it was a right and we had toilets that would back up all the time, becau because it was a septic tank.

Well, I mean, what else are you going to do in a small town but watch poop roll by?

You get out here? That much else to do. It's Saturday.

Their children gather around.

We're gonna watch the septic tank churk, a hair comb.

Flushed a comb, My old Dolly, my new Dolly. Dive worth it, totally worth it.

Yeah, septic systems. No one knows how they work, but they do.

And we'll never know. Yeah, there's a couple of people who know. Yeah, they people. They work for the city. You got to get them on the phone right now.

Hello, city controller.

Is this a sketch show?

It is?

It's called it's called call people. Instead of having a punchline at the end of us, you just get on the phone.

Chris, you said Tigg had characters that she did in the house when you lived there where there's some other ones that should be brought up right now.

Well, Uh, there's the character that is leaning against a wall in a kind of uncomfortable position but kind of all the weight against the wall. And this is also a person that says it's time for bed.

Yeah.

A lot of these show time was at night before bed.

I love bedtime.

Yeah, And the jokes, celebrate and the jokes that preceded. So she lean against the wall and it's hard to describe because it's physical comedy. Then you go all right, well see you later, and stay in that leaning against the wall position as she would just go walk all the way to where we're So if you're like leaning against a wall like a cowboy, and it's like all right, time to go to bed and then stay.

Hold the position, hold the position, and then go about your life because that's just the way you stand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, laying in bed like John Wayne leaning against a wall.

But it's just a pillow.

No, do you do you have a dance background? Is that how you could do that kind of physical comedy? Yeah?

I do have a dance background. I was in ballet once when I was four, and I've just really used that for years.

Yea with my comedy career.

I get asked that all the time if I have a dance background background. My mother actually was a ballerina and I, uh, yeah. She signed me up for ballet when I was four. And then the class would all get together in a circle and put their hands behind their backs because the teacher would go around and put a piece of candy in their hands.

Uh.

And the teacher stopped doing that one day and I was like, I'm out bye. Yeah yeah, see yeah.

It's it's yeat slowly preparing that child to know that they have to stay unhealthily petite in a career. Right, Okay, you know what candy was like, it's over. Now, it's over. You forget it. Now, stand on the tops of your toe knuckles.

In your knuckles, yeah, your toe knuckles.

Yeah.

I was just going to do a visual, and I realized that's bad podcasting. But a lot of these children, they make them stand on their toe knuckles.

What if I just kept saying it.

Well, I was going to start talking about toe foot and toe health, which drives stuff to be crazy. But I've gotten very into foot and toe health. Oh are you familiar with like the barefoot world, like barefoot movement where you see people, you know, maybe you see somebody walking around bare feet, or those like shoes that have little toe things to put your toes in.

Oh, the toe shoes.

Okay, everyone's yes, everyone is like this this guy with the toe shoes or this one walking on stage with those shoes on. It's it's for a reason, and let me just insert my commercial here. It's fascinating if this interests you at all. As you get older, you know how your toes get all mangled. You see people with like toes shooting off in different directions. Yeah, sure, yeah, just like ginger root. Yeah, shoes these days are may Everybody's like, I need support, I need to get shoes

Yeah.

Not, it's because it's you. You live life to feel better and it's not a fashion show, right.

It is not.

I it is to a certain age. Yeah, and then you're like, oh my god, my back, oh my god, my toes, oh, oh my god.

So you're saying I have to start wearing tevas or birkenstocks.

I would just say, look up the barefoot movement. There's barefoot shoes aside from the little toe slots you put your toes into, look into it. It just it makes a lot of sense. I'm just you know, glad Stephanie isn't here to hear me bringing this up on the podcast.

She'd get a set. She's just like enough with the foot.

And so hell, I I have a thing.

It's the off because there's also people that enjoy feet in a in a scandalous way. They have magazines of feet, and they pay, they pay for pictures of feet, and I'm not sure shaming that, but I'm the opposite. I really don't want to see your toes, even if you put time into them. I just let's let's just keep them covered.

They're not a great When people do have really I guess nice feet or whatever. I feel like they're just so lucky because it's a hard thing. They're just you're you're already behind the eight ball in terms of what you're gonna get right. It's just not odds. Are your feet are going to be kind of gross?

Yeah?

I just unless you take care of them, unless you go barefoot, everywhere, well not everywhere.

No, there are barefoot shoes that just give your foot a little bit more room up front where the toes are. And I don't always wear them, but I do have those now and I just have more awareness. And I'm sorry that I just lost a lot of your listeners over toe and foot health.

No, I was more afraid that you were saying that you have to go bare foot foot in a city where people spit on the ground as if it's their job, or spit their gum places, or like when growing up in the country there were always long gravel roads. Oh that, like you know, you just simply that wouldn't be a choice. That would just be hell and we take you forever to get up the road.

Yes, and that's why you put on a barefoot shoe.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm mistaken thinking you're saying barefoot. If you can do a shoe that's like it.

Oh, yeah, you can be barefoot, or you can wear a barefoot shoe which gives your feet room.

You are talking about those shoes that are little toe gloves.

Those are some. Then there are others that are not the little toe gloves. Please don't get upset, Please don't I am furious. I have never been so upset.

There are.

You can be completely barefoot. You can put your foot into a foot glove, or you can put on a shoe that's normal looking, that is a quote unquote bear foot shoe, and it just gives your foot a little bit more room where your toes are so they can split, spread out and do the work they're supposed to do to stay healthy.

So in order to provide that kind of room in a shoe you are describing like a classic clown shoe, those the clown knows.

Yeah, sorry too, Scott.

That really is good.

That's when it takes many A lot of people don't know about her sound effect works.

Horn character, horn character, nighttime horn character.

That's all that character does.

That's all awful.

But yeah, so now I'm imagining.

I guess maybe I can get an insol that has little compartments that will separate my piggies.

Piggies hate to be separated, but it's for your your best interest, especially for when you get older and you don't want to collapse and fall over because your feet are all like this.

Yeah yeah, oh yeah plash or fascy ITAs. Yeah, well, somebody's got to go to the market.

Well, you know, the little piggies did go to the market.

Yeah, the only one. Yeah, then another one laughs all the way to the bank. I think we never know that which job is for what? I am someone that even my I'm just a tenderfoot. Uh, And I cannot Like when I go back to Montana and there's any river, hangout or anything, I gotta wear shoes. I will, even even if it's round, polished gravel and I'm barefoot, my knees knocked together and I just faint face first into the water. Meanwhile, my friends can tap dance on glass.

Yeah, but fainting face first into the water sounds way more Montana than tap dancing on glass. So it seems.

It's just how Cowboy ends the day.

Yeah, it all sounds very carnival to me. Who are these friends of yours? Who are these people?

I'm it is like a circus act. All of my friends are able to walk on gravel and I am not. I react like everything is a lego, and I just it hurts so bad. I have the worst, most tender feet. I gotta do something to toughen them up.

Yeah you should. How about you just take a razor right to those the bombs of your feet and just do crosshatching.

Yeah, like a cutter.

That's a really good idea.

It really is build up the scar tissue. Something's got to do it. So you think a razor is.

The way to go.

I mean you could do a razor, you can do a kitchen night.

Okay, well I'll get started box cutter, just real quick.

Ju Yeah, just get it over with. Take you during.

You have like multiple podcasts now I have two, and that's like more than one.

That is I can't fermit. Yeah, tell us about them?

Yeah, sure.

Well I have a weekly podcast, an advice podcast, where I try to give earnest advice and then a lot of times it'll go off the rails, of course, because I realize I'm I don't know what I'm talking about. And then I also have a a podcast called Tig and Cheryl True Story where Cheryl Hines and I talk about a new documentary every week. And and yeah, those are the those are the two podcasts. Don't ask Tig is the advice one, but those both sound great.

What's the best advice that you've heard yourself give? That you actually we're like, oh wait, that I led It is good, you know what.

Honestly I don't know or remember, but I will say the advice that I do always give people, which is something that stuck out to me. I heard. I heard this bit of advice. It's not my own. I tweaked it because it used to be very specific about a particular person in your life. But I always say that the best gift you can give anybody is a well

Yeah, it is, and that that can be applied to so many things, like living your life, even if it means they live their life so much they don't have time for me. It is you are looking at someone as like they're happy, and that brings me peace, or they're doing everything they can because there's so many so great, Yeah, so many people.

I think of that.

I love that they aren't doing well and that it's they don't they don't realize that it's affecting other people.

Yeah, it's it's complex, but that's what I always say to people.

I like that.

That's a good one.

What about on the other podcast with Cheryl Hines? What's the what's a documentary you've watched recently that you wish everyone would watch or that you just loved? You don't have a documentary podcast with Cheryl Hines?

To you, I don't even know Cheryl. Such a good brag though, Yeah, No, Cheryl and I have been pals forever.

A long time. I remember I was living with you, like we were both just not much going on, and you how did you become friends with her?

Again?

She saw me do stand up and she we've been friends ever since. She came up after just cacklin and what have you, and we just have like non stop silliness in our relationship. And so the documentary is just a jumping off point to chat and whatever. But I really, you know, I'm probably thinking of that that a fair Nose documentary right now because my wife is watching the series, and then she went back and listened to my episode

Told me to watch that.

Yeah, it's Chicken People.

It's so silly. And then Donut King. I just watched Donut King.

I heard of that.

Yea, it is so.

Great and it's not what you think it's gonna be. When I first heard that we were going to be watching a documentary about donuts, it's like, great, I love a donut, man, is it? It's a it's a great documentary.

I haven't watched it because so many people have described it enthusiastically telling me to watch it that they just tell me about it, and I'm like, well, no, I don't need to see it.

No, it's it's worth It's so good and it really surprised me. I'm also always a fan of like The Staircase. It's you know, we I mean, I never get over that. It's it's kind of like the go to.

Yeah, I've watched that twice.

Yeah, it's just so good. And and you know, there's another documentary that I really love and it's so weird to say that I love it because oh and obviously you're a true crime person, Karen, but we would never cover this particular one. But it's so devastating, is dear Zachary?

Oh God?

Like I it's you know, I always tell people when they say, why wouldn't you if you love the documentary, it's so weird to say I love the documentary. But when I say, it's just so, I truly had to stop like three times and have a serious boohoo.

Yeah.

Actually, Chris, you and I lived together years ago when I watched that documentary, and but yeah, I just I love a twist and a turn, you know, That's what I really love. And sometimes when documentaries will be just very much just straightforward documenting something, I'm like, yeah, it.

Was good, it's fine.

I of going in and just being like, where is this gonna go? You know?

Can I ask have you seen the documentary Tickled? Yes?

Yes I have, Yes I have. And we did an episode of that as well.

Oh good, okay, April Richardson and I saw that in the theater and there was only about six other people in the theater and when that movie ended, we all turned to each other strangers and went.

Holy fuck.

Everybody in the theater went crazy together as a group, like what did we just watch? That was insane? It was super funny. But I mean that that movie is like, it's unbelievable. It is.

It is completely unbelievable and not what you think you're going in for. And that is my favorite documentary.

Yeah, they watched I mean, not.

Tickled, but I'm saying that type where it's just like.

Whoa, whoa, especially because the guy because I went and saw it at the Silent Movie theater place and afterwards, Nathan for you, Nathan Fielder or whatever his name is, interviewed the filmmaker and he talked about how it was strictly going to be a documentary about these weird wrestling group like this HERB tickling groups like they were wrestling teams, like that's an interesting sport that the and you watched

On that, but that is that usually is the thing.

I look for in a documentary, like where they're like, well, now it's about this, Yes, our world.

That's what's incredible. Yeah, when you feel I hate when I'm watching a documentary and you can feel the outline, you can feel where they put in like uh, like where you know the director is going, hey, why didn't you do this? Or hey, sit here with your friends and have a conversation and you know what, just that

Huh?

Yeah?

And during during the Q and A, the filmmaker talked about how that weird the Ticklemaster guy who no one he was pretending to be all these people he would show up at screenings. He's actually a fan oddly of the of the film, and he would ask questions really like he's like, I I don't like how you showed me in this. It's kind of like a negative light, but I do like this about Like he would compliment it even though it was about him being a villain.

Like he he described it like.

The guy actually said nice things, and he would show up and heckle and be insane because.

He's a he was a crazy guy and he has the money to travel around to give basically to all the screenings when it first came out.

He was like, I'm looking around this room right now because he very well could be here. And then that added this element of fear with everyone watching. It was such Yeah, I feel really lucky to have seen that. Also, the new Jimmy Savile uh documentary about but it's it's it's very gradual. You don't really see it coming. I mean they allude to things, but it ramps up in the end. Again, it's a tragic documentary, but it's so fun to watch.

We're about to to I haven't seen it yet, but we're about to do Bad Vegan.

I don't know. Oh, it's great, Okay, but it's but I will say this without giving spoilers. I found it. Uh. I like, maybe and maybe this is similar to what we're just saying, or maybe this is another type of documentary where you kind of can't figure out who you whose side you're on, or what you're supposed to think. I like that when it's not like here's the poor people who are being exploited by the Ticklemaster, and here's the tickle Master that we can't he's out.

Well, I mean that's what the staircase was. It's like the way it flipped back and forth, it's so crazy making or you're just like, wait.

A minute, this could be anything. Yeah, totally.

But oddly with that movie, I had seen the Unsolved or the Forensic Files episode prior, so it kind of was spoiled for.

Me for which one for the staircase.

It was, so what is just not to go off on the staircase? But do you feel like that guy did it?

Yeah, very very very very much.

I do too, because well, I don't think it's Owls, because he's definitely not.

But I'll so in the beginning when it was when it was like a Forensic Files or whatever, those other episodes where they would cover it the first time around, when they covered it, they presented it as he definitely did it, and this is what happened. And then there was another there was almost like the reboot reapproach where it was like he's actually been railroaded or whatever. And then it was the reveal of what happened in court, which was them saying he has had homosexual affairs with

You know, what I thought was so interesting that Cheryl pointed out on that episode was that I completely missed and I was like, there it is. There's the proof. There's the proof. But she said, imagine because when he called the police after she was found bloodied by owls. Yeah, but I guess that's an I guess that's an internet theory. Or no, it's in the it's in the documentary.

His neighbor. His neighbor got attacked and then basically came and suggested it. And then then then it became okay, right, okay.

So they have the audio of him calling the nine one one and they he told them, what, my wife fell down the stairs and come quick that type thing. Yeah, and then the obvious thing of first of all, if I found Stephanie at the foot of the stairs in a pool of blood, I wouldn't think she fell down the stairs.

But Cheryl said, can you.

Imagine your loved one is at the foot of the stairs in a pool of blood and hanging up the phone saying come quick, Like you would stay on the phone?

What what do I do? What do I like?

If you were in that real moment, you would be like, I'm not going to hang up the phone from the path. I wouldn't be like, oh my gosh, my wife fell hurry click.

You would be like, what do I do? What do I? What do I apply? Pressure? Do I? What?

What do I do?

I don't want to see this is this is my lifeline taking to this person. And when she said that, I was like, oh my gosh.

Yeah, that's great fucking point, such a great good point. Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Yeah, you don't hang up and then start cleaning up the place because you're a neat freak.

No, I want to stay on the phone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can I say what my moment of that was? And it was because at the same time that that series was on Breaking Bad was on and in like I watched that series and then and there was the part and I think it was like a couple It was like maybe the second to last episode or near the end, and he was he I think it was when he was out on bail and he was awaiting that trial. And and let's just say this, that trial was fucked,

Look over here, look over here.

Yeah.

Well, and maybe that's fake, but it was just to me, I went, oh, my god, that's the exact same action.

Yeah, there's so I mean, there's obviously so many gaping holes in that story. I also found it very odd when the the attorney gave up on his Michael's trial. And I was saying to Stephanie when we were watching it again because I've watched the series probably like three times, but I said, the way he's sitting on the couch with his kids and just saying, well, he's moving on from the trial, he's not going to rep me anymore.

Yeah, please, what do we do?

What do we do?

If you were innocent, don't you think you'd be like, hey, can you turn that fucking camera off? Like this is the moment of my life. There's more effort, there's so it's very performative, which also doesn't mean anything really except for this is the way we all go through the world going am I getting a good vibe from this person? Or do I not like this? And things like that.

If something happened to Stephanie, I wouldn't want anything in my house or anything going on. I would just you know, there's no world where I would. I mean, I don't even like to show my kids' faces on the internet. I'd much less be, you know, parading somebody through our house. And but you know, of course I still like everyone else, probably probably everyone else, wonder why those kids of his I believe he's innocent.

Yeah, because they were likable. That was what he had going for him. As I watched that documentary, is like his kids seemed It's like, why how would he have raised these normal kids if he was this monster? That's what kept me going. But yeah, at the end, he's like, well, I've run out of ideas. I guess I'll go to jail.

That's such an admittance of guilt. Could be like, no, no.

What now what now what? Someone do something?

Yeah, because I'm free and I want to make sure I'm free and I did not do this, and so now what is next on the agenda?

Although, and just to Devil's advocate, because we also we did on my favorite murder talk to that lawyer of his. I liked him. I liked him a lot. He's super smart, and we had him on. But I was like, so did we totally get it wrong? And I said, is there a ton we don't know that wasn't in the documentary.

The other woman in your life fell down the stairs and died, you did it.

When it came to that part, I was just like, I'm sorry, Like I don't how you know, am I? It's just so middle class that we never had. Second story.

Now I have in my office and I've always have in my hands when I do a podcast is a gavel and you know what guilty.

Guilty guilty, that's actual.

Yeah, I have a gavel always when I'm doing a podcast in my hands.

You've always wanted a courtroom show?

I have? Can I just tell you one more documentary to recommend in case you.

Guys are listening, and then I have one, and then I have one.

Oh okay, okay, what do you mean in case we're looking for him? That's what we do with our show. You're like, we're not open to suggestion. I'm sorry.

My very favorite one is God damn it, no, I'm not gonna be to remember it's it's the one. It's called the Cruise about Timothy speed Levitch. He's the Gray Line bus bus tour guide in New York City. Did you ever see that one? It's black and white?

It is.

It's truly one of my top three documentaries ever, and it is. It's unbelievable. It just is. It's a step one man. Shut up. I also love Watership Down? Was that a documentary?

We're still looking for documentaries.

The best?

But yes, I think of all time that it is my favorite. That is so weird and bizarre as cat dancers. Oh yes, you've seen that, Karen, I love and I did not. I mean, they allude to what happens.

It's but it is. You got to see it, Tig.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it is hilarious and mysterious and everything that I think they were trying to make that Tiger King out to be. Like every time everyone was freaking remember Tiger King fever.

Good Lord, that thing was huge.

Everyone was talking about it, and I just was like, cat dancers, cat dancers, enough with the tigers.

Cat Dancers is the best. And that's all I'll say.

Cat Dancers is amazing.

But you got to watch it, tig It's so.

Even if you have to find it and pay money, good hard earned money.

To see it, worth it. Also there's the Errol Morris documentary, all of the Errol Morris ones, but there's Mister Death, which is unbelievable, like unbelievable Errol Morris. Mister Death, which is about the guy. He's a guy who has basically made the electric chair or like refurbished. You have to see it, and that's he he like updated it. And then the other one which is about pet Cemeteries, that's

Wait and there's a temple grand in one the that came up with the the hugger, a comforting way to slaw cows, which was the reason I got one of those autism blankets, a heavy blanket. That's basically what they do is they put a heavy blanket on a cow.

It's sad, but it's.

Very You squeeze them and they feel warm and comfortable in the very end.

And then you kill it.

Well as I know you are, and you're the reason I still dabble with it.

Oh good, Yeah, you should dabble, dabble away.

Well, I live in an area where dabbling with veganism is just a hop, skip and a jump away.

Usually I jump.

But yeah, I'm I'm I'm trying, tig, I'm trying to it's taking.

We're all trying. We're all trying. We're all goddamn day every day, we're all trying.

To take you and hit the road and cheat on with some chicken fingers. Anymore, you are one hundred percent.

I was real sold on the chicken finger menu diet for I would say the first fifteen years of my stand up career. But no, And it's funny because people always ask that of you know what about the pandemic?

Did you cheat in the pandemic?

And it's that idea that I'm vegan against my will, that I'm like waiting till no one's looking and I'm just going to go via a cheeseburger. And it's the you know, after I was so sick many years ago, I just shifted my diet so so much and learned so much. In fact, during the pandemic, I got a plant based nutrition certification.

I know, yes, I love that.

And I've helped my next door neighbor who had high blood pressure and through the pandemic we would zoom weekly and he didn't end up having to get on medication. I've helped comedians and anyway. So I'm like, I I can help you too, and I can help it truly, I mean, I am sold on it.

It changed my life.

And there's no moment in my life with the knowledge that I have that I'm ever thinking, well, I'll just get a cheese ball, a wheel of cheese, a wheel of cheese and some beef.

Yeah.

I've been sold on it ever since.

Your peals, your Beth and Rick, who I missed a lot but he got healthy.

That way he cured his cancer with raw.

Food, and I was like, I believe it and I'm sold. And then I still go out and get my wheel of cheese.

I know you do, Chris roll it all the way home with a little stick. Yeah.

Yeah, But I did for a while think I want to to start what I want to do. I did a streaming episode of talking about plant based food and showing people easy recipes and stuff. But I was thinking of spending a good part of my time consulting people on zoom. And then I was like, I don't know, I don't know if I can do that actually, but you know it's people are so interested and they're like they have a foot in, and I just want to be like, there is a way to do it without you.

Well maybe I'll come over and you can just teach me and then I can see your children's grown up faces.

Yes they are gigantic humans now, but I would love that. If you ever want information, let me know.

I will.

Let's all go stand in Tick's kitchen and have her I would be thrilled real well. The idea that you got certified is impressive. But it also is like, oh, she means business like this is this is a true interest and like.

I hadn't had an interest like this since I started stand up. I got so into it and it's so fascinating when you find out the power and the healing power of food and and then it just becomes this puzzle of of just connecting everything to heal or to boost or help or h It's it's really fascinating and it's it's a very basic idea, but it's like if you put the wrong gasoline in your tank, the car breaks or dies, and if you put in the high octane, it'll it'll run.

And that's why I'm one hundred percent interested. And I really want you to teach me.

Because you look great.

You're like energy. You look like a kid again. You look like you look like Tom Cruise is a kid.

Again.

Well, thank you card reader again, Well thank you, and you both look wonderful.

I mean, I we set you up to say that.

Yeah, but yeah it's been we're we're out of time.

But I was so great to see you again, my friend Tiggoty.

Yeah, thank you so much for doing this, tig thanks for having me. I can't stress enough how much I adore both of you, and and hope that I can see you in the flesh again. I am in my kitchen, in my kitchen, I will I loved it. I would love it after this, Please do any plugs. I I'm doing a bunch of tour days and and then you know, the road goes on forever. But I'm at tignotaro dot com and I have very unreliable social media out there as well, but tagnotaro dot com. You can check out

You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D yn A. This has been an Exactly Right production.

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Mixed by John Bradley.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

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