S3 - Ep. 25 - Mary Holland

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how.

Much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gay.

We want to send you off in style. Do you wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it?

We scared her? Was it fine?

Mal porn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Ride with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgareff.

Hello, my friend Karen.

Hello Chris.

I just the second as you started talking, took a sip of my drink, which is my least favorite sound to hear when I'm listening to people on podcasts or the YouTube horoscope hero card reader who always drinks her tea. I literally want to scream and run out of the room. And I just did it myself.

It's okay.

We have to be scared of accidentally smr that we're doing on here, because let us not forget of the muffin episode where or donuts. We had a whole box of donuts and a lot of hate mail. Youre smacking.

We've eaten and we've drinken Starbucks on the mic so many times when we're in the car, as if nothing mattered in the world. This was pre pandemic.

Just smacking and slurping like we're doing fully work for a makeout scene in a teen horror.

And a teen eating disorder.

After school special, Very special, After school Special.

Very special. Rice Crispies advertised. I was eating the rice Rice Crispy bar, Remember that one. That's what made that one guy rolling.

Yeah, because there's the crunching and the snapping and the cracklings as well, it's the slurping. We it's funny. I realized this weekend. I had a couple fun gigs where there was a car scent and a car like a driver a professional where they're holding up my name. I'm not bragging. It's just very rare that I'm not ubering. And I realize it's funny because we have a podcast where we talk while driving. That is really something I've discovered. I do not want out of a driver from here

Baby.

Yeah yeah, I because I had two drivers, one this this woman in Cleveland. She was really sweet and then just started talking about Obama and that his middle names Hussein. And then the next driver, also a kind man, until we started talking about COVID and he was saying it was not a He'd done his own research, it's not a it's not a virus. I'm just like, can we just And I got mad, I'd like yelled at them and felt bad.

It became a yelling thing.

Well it's supposed to become a yelling thing because both of those times they were bringing up topics that Fox News has taught them. Here's how you can fight with liberals.

Yeah yeah, they Essentially, I just think that not everyone should have the Internet.

That's all. That's all. I just want it.

Well, how about the fact that you can do your own research until the end of time, but you're you've never got your doctorate, Like take your research and test it out at the local medical school that you can't get into. Well, how about that?

According to this second driver. A lot of the scientists that he looks up to have been murdered because they know, they know it's not a virus, they've been killed.

Chris, did you walk up to anybody holding a white piece of paper and your name wasn't even on It was just a crazy person you got into the car.

He was dressed nice, there was no leaves in his hair, he didn't have a wild eye. He was a professional driver with a lot of personal opinions. And I'm just glad it's over from now.

It sucks.

It's hard enough. Yeah, it's bad enough when they have bad COLOGNEA.

For that.

Wait, remember the time there was a time where there was a driver that came and picked me up. God, I wish I could remember anyway, because this was a while ago, and he talked the whole time. I had to listen to some of his original music, Oh on on, and then I as I was wont to do in like twenty fifteen or whenever it was tweeted about it, like as it was happening where I was, like, so if I end up in a ditch, I just wanted

Of whereas from that would have been way worse.

That would have been way worse.

But yeah, it was really that was very upsetting where I was just like, oh, oh no, you and you follow me on Twitter.

That's insane.

I'm sure I know what you're getting at.

I don't think these two people listen to our podcast, but maybe maybe they. But I mean what I say, and I'm not going back on my uh snapping at them.

You don't have to, although you are giving them what they want by snapping at them, but it's they also have you trapped, and they're telling you. Basically they're saying, I will believe anything that passes my face.

Yeah, it just made it. It made it complicated because I'm not kidding. They were both sweet people, right, you know, the people can be both. But speaking of sweet people, God, I'm getting real good at these intro segues.

Karen says, who your driver? Me right now to myself, just saying the same word twice.

It's just hitting.

It's Karen, do you want to?

She plays clubs and colleges all over this fine country that, thank god, is no longer being led by a person whose middle name also sounds a little bit ethnic. God forbid, Ladies and gentlemen, It's Mary Holland.

Hi, Hi'm Mary.

Hi Wow, yay, I'm so excited to be here.

In this car. Thank you. Yes, it's it's a nice car, right.

Oh yeah, Karen, there's a yield sign. If you could just play along, Mary, we do a lot.

Yeah.

No, Yeah, it's fun.

It's really fun all the different signs, and it's so fun when you drive reading Yeah, reading signs, it's so fun.

Yeah, it's the best part.

Most of our podcast was reading signs aloud.

People loved it, and we get back to it soon soon.

I'm very impressed that you could uh maintain. Did you ever find that the driving was uh, it was hard to maintain, like a through line of thought or conversation.

I find it so.

Hard to drive and talk.

Yeah, I found it very hard.

And we discovered early on that the Karen's able to multitask in that way.

And I think.

In my experience a lot of women in my life were able to do a bunch of things at once. If I try and talk and drive at the same time, I just felt like I was going to make us crash and Karen doesn't have that's god.

Well.

Also, Chris was for a long time our soundman and we were completely guessing at how to run the zoom recorder and get good sound. So there was there were many episodes that you can go back and listen to where Chris loses faith kind of like around usually the twenty five minute mark. That great, usually on the heels of something really funny or great happening with our guests, and then Chris was positive it wasn't recording and and then he.

Would that it was.

It was a lot of responsibility, yeah, for just everyone in the car, oh, for.

Everyone, Yes, and the pressures on Yeah.

That the episode that we always bring up is that the first time we had tig on who's married to Stephanie? Or yes, yes, true, I want to say troop partner is the word true?

Yeah, my troop my troop mate is what we like to refer to troops.

With an E at the end, with a new lot over it.

Wild Horses one of the great improv groups. And also, wait, did you guys do a podcast or just a live show?

We did do a podcast. We we recorded, We did.

Do some episodes in a studio and then recorded some live shows as well. So, uh, there are podcast versions?

Was the podcast great? Was the podcast non live version?

Scenes? Or were you just having conversations? We did do scenes. We did do improv season.

Oh yes, I got to cap it with a nice improv scene because you got to.

That's how you work through you know what you just talked about and how you process it creatively.

Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, like you're all sharing one brain.

Yes, wait, what happened in the in the car? I wo tig Oh it.

Was our most emotional episode. Oh okay, Oh we all cried. We talked about death. We uh described her wedding with Stephanie and people locking off the freeway in Mississippi when they were concerned about two women getting married.

It was just really important everything we talked. It was such a good episode.

I'm never gonna let it go. And I realized halfway through that something was wrong. I think the card was maybe sticking out too much. It recorded something, but it sounded under water. Admitting admitting now to Karen that I knew something.

What's up?

No, what are you supposed to do?

Though?

We're like half an hour in?

How do you do.

What do you do?

I have a fun game.

Let's go back thirty minutes and see which one of us can remember what we already talked about as a game.

It's a fun game.

Not that fun of a game.

Yeah, God, if you're being honest, it's actually not the fun of games.

Have fun of a game.

Mary, I've been watching You're in a lot of very funny movie. I'm a comic, but I don't watch a lot of comedic stuff. I watch a lot of crime and dramas, action movies for dads from the eighties, but all the you stole most scenes in Robbie. If people haven't seen Robbie, it's a Comedy Central joint with Rory Scovell. Mary's so funny in that Golden Arm, the arm wrestling movie I love so much, Oh my god, and I loved it, and uh yeah this is before I'm like,

But you know which you actually you're not merry, You're not just in but you co wrote it with Cleo Deval, who I leave directed.

It is directed it Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're really funny that the end scene. Everyone should just watch the things I mentioned. Just go to Mary's IMDb. This is usually a closing statement.

Take any of it, any anything, Just scroll and anything.

Yeah, and slam your finger down on your screen like you're spinning a globe on it.

That's Mystery vacation.

Click on the Voodoo Xerox printer and you'll listen a treat. Great, it's a wonderful skep for funny or die about a printer that comes to life. So it's really anything is to choose your an adventure and you're gonna have a great time.

Stands behind every single thing that is listed on her m Yeah.

Is there anything on that list that you you want people to steer away from? Oh my gosh, what's what's the worst thing you've ever done.

In entertainment?

Or moralists?

Oh? Morally?

Oh my gosh, Oh how much time let's get into it?

List all your sins?

List how your sins?

I oh man, I'm trying to think if there's oh, well, you know what that act that is very funny you bring that up because the very first thing I ever shot in my whole life. Was the worst thing I've ever done in my whole life. And there's a very funny story around it. The worst acting I've ever done in my life. I've done so many more worse things, like in the real life, but it was for It

You know, yeah, that's the only thing I can think of. No, that's one that's used all the time. It's used all the time.

But and the director had to like cast it and then re like shoot it the way they would. And so I got an audition on LA casting for us. They were reshooting a scene from Fried Green Tomatoes, and I was like, well, I got to do that, and so.

I auditioned for it.

I auditioned for both roles, and it was it's like, not just well, I guess this movie is very old at this point, I was gonna say, I don't want to spoil it.

Yeah, if you don't know Tomatoes at this point, that's on you.

That's on you, and that is on you. But it's the scene at the end of the movie. It basically is a death.

Scene, and it's a story. You know, it's between these two women who.

You know, have such a deep relationship with each other, and is a very dramatic scene.

And I was like, I was fresh from theater school, so I was in my feelings.

I was I was Oh, I was doing like emotional preparation and I was like doing movement work and all this all this stuff that I had learned.

To do from theater school in preparation for this scene.

So I auditioned and I got cast as the And now I can't remember the character's name. The not not maryor Louise Parker, but the Mary.

It's also a three.

Yes it's Mayor and not Mary Stuart Masters.

Yes it is.

Oh it is okay, great yees. So her character is who I got cast as. And on the day of shooting the scene, we shot all of the other actresses coverage.

First. I didn't know anything about coverage or anything, and.

I was just oh, I was given it every take I could have given it.

I was just serving up just way too much emotion.

And then and so by the time like it turned around and it was on me, I was completely exhausted and I was wrenching feelings from myself, which is so fun to watch. And uh, I like, oh my gosh. I worked myself up into a frenzy trying to like get there, you know. And then at one point we were like, uh, it was in between takes, and the boom operator leaned over to me and he was like, I just want to say that your performance is really beautiful.

And I was like, oh my god, thank you.

Like I was like, yes, yes, I'm so impactful as a performer. So that that short that she finished editing it and everything, and then she took us out to dinner, the director and she's she was like telling us about the shoot and she was like, oh, that shoe was such a nightmare. And we were both like, oh, really why and she was like, well, the boom operator was wasted and.

He was being emotional because he was drunk. I love it.

He was wasted.

I just want to add to that and say I love you.

Oh my god, wo is nice.

That's so nice.

But anyway, I feel like, I mean, the director and the other actors did a great job, but I was real rough stuff in there. So steer away from that if you come across it on Vimeo or wherever.

Yeah, just or give it a thumbs up for effort, because you know that's the thing about acting.

It's like, sure, being convincing is one thing, but what about just plain old effort.

Yeah, exactly, effortful performance, yes, and we don't we don't recognize that enough, Like there's there's actually not enough awards for effort, and there really should be.

If you're breaking a sweat.

Yeah I was sweating.

I was crapping my pants trying to trying to cry.

So it was great.

Yeah, it's very the difference between like because I studied theater in college when I went for the year and a half before I got kicked out for not going to any other class. But I really like live performance. Yeah, coming to LA and just kind of being like, oh, I'll go on some auditions having no experience or any I never took a cold reading class. I never took a scene class. I never took a like acting for TV class. I new fucking clue about anything, and it

Yeah, that's to hear you say.

Because you're good in things, Karen, are you someone maybe you're like me where you're like, I don't enjoy it while it's happening. I enjoy it when it's done, like, but during its work, it's like not, it's stressful and it's work and it's exhausted.

And it's also like I just think that you know the reason, like some people are good at it is because they are built to go. Of course you want to watch me do this, right, But I have like about seven problems just to get to the point where I'm like, well, I'm gonna do something. You know, I don't know, I don't think it's good and I certainly don't believe in it. But here, I'll do this thing you asked me to do. Yeah, it's like there's so

Dirt or whatever.

He's like, you're gonna love this. Join you.

Oh and he's right on the money, isn't it.

Oh my god, it's so true.

Yeah.

All third that yeah, got to I get and I'm someone. Yeah when I'm even no matter how much experience I get, the mantra in my head while I'm acting is do I belong here?

I'm not sure I belong here.

It's a it's a real min.

It's like a I think it's a stand up comic thing, where like it serves us as comics to judge ourselves because you have to be ready for a worst case scenario. But I think it really doesn't serve you as a as an actor, as a camera actor to be like have that look in your eye of like, I don't think so that's what I always look like. It's just like I'm not buying it.

I don't know why you, ma'am. You're in the middle of a line. Was that a lot of story?

What I meant was, can here's your change?

Sir?

Oh okay, now that time I bought it?

You're acting on camera. It's now a bad time to do crowd work.

Could I get where's the boom operator? I just people around me? Where is he?

It's so true you kind of have to self generate that the validation of like this is good or you almost have to shut off that part of your brain that is thinking about is this good or not?

Because you can really.

Go down a terrible, terrible spy, right and no one's going to give you that validation either, like, oh boy, no one's given it to you.

Yeah, that's what's hard.

There's no one that stops after each take and says hey that or laughs, I need to. I'm addicted to hearing laughter saying really the only sign that I know of that things are going okay.

Yeah, I just remembered I was gonna.

I was in a TV show and it was I felt horrible the whole time. I was in this weird panic where I was like, I just I won't be able to remember my lines. So then I just did it like it was I was mind fucking myself.

Yeah.

But then there was one point where I was in this scene with this woman who was playing my sister, and they the director called cut, and she goes, well, she's not and she did this super fucking rude thing what basically like that didn't work because of what she just did. And then I got so angry. And the next take and it was this it was like a kind of a dramatic scene or whatever, and the take I made all these choices and it was all completely just I was filled with rage, and they were.

Like cut, Oh my god, perfect.

Care and that was amazing, and the DP like leans over and he's like that was really good, and I was like I want to fucking kill someone.

I didn't give a shit about what was happening at all.

It has nothing to do with anything. It was like that was the one of the first realizations of like, oh, I like I get it now, and I am not built for this. I'm not like I get it. There's really good actors are the ones that like show up and they're like, oh, yeah, I know how to manipulate myself to get there. Yeah essentially, yeah.

Yeah.

It also I mean that I remember doing a one act in college where you know how when you're in college, Oh, I have another funny thing to say.

Well, I hope it's funny.

We'll see yeah, you know, you'll be the judge of that.

I'll lean over like a boom operator and let you know, okay, okay.

You know in theater school, how you're like you're nineteen or something and you're being cast to play like eighty year old you know people, or like a nine year old like I played a nine year old in Grapes of Wrath as like a twenty year old woman, And that's like what that's theater school because there's a limited pool of people that we're casting from, you know. But I remember we were doing a one act and me

And then I was like, oh no.

And then we did another rehearsal of it and my best friend I was I was like sewing or something, and my best friend said.

Stop doing that.

It was like a real moment between us, and it affected like I got so like what that The whole rest of the scene, I was like only thinking about that?

Was that real?

Was that?

And then afterwards the director was like that was amazing, Like I started got me out of my head.

But but on the on the note of playing younger or older when I also when I first moved to la and I had an agent and they called me and they said, hey, I'm just you know, we're about to start sending you out what. I just want to know your age range, like, what do you think you could play? And I was like, oldest seventy five and.

You just I need an oil pencil for line work on my face.

And you, yes, oh that's youngest.

I think eleven or twelve.

That's so funny. Yeah, I love it.

Theater wasn't that because I started with a wildly popular troop out of Montana, and I thought one of the uh, one of our rules was no kids. No uh well that's mentally deficient characters like you. That was a no no al ways mmmm yeah yeah. And I just thought that was like a rule for all of acting. But maybe that's just our troop leader Eva. Maybe I think that was just her and she was right, yeah, and she.

Was for improv.

It makes sense because you're if you're going to stand there and make up a scene, don't don't do a thing that's just going to make people insanely uncomfortable. Scene yea, get a laugh if you're if you're trying to play cutesy or make fun of this a deficiency, yeah, everyone's gonna bum out. And it's anti comedy as opposed to Marriott Juilliard who's like, I can't, I can and will play a child of the of the dust Bowl.

Oh, and you know, I upstaged the whole show. I was a child of the dust Bowl who had just you know, a real sense of imagination and was like doing doing all kinds of stuff upstage that pulled focus. I love it.

I loved the idea of this happening.

But all the other actors were children except for you.

Yeah, it was a really avant garde production and we didn't get great reviews, but you know what, Yeah, I know it was weird, but we had a point of view. Yeah that makes me think of the.

Not to just keep talking about. But I think it was the last thing that I believed I could do. And the reason I think, I think after that I was like, don't do that stuff anymore, was because one of the first things that happened, it was the first day of rehearsal, but it was it was for a TV show, but you know whatever, and we were just doing these rehearsals of the scenes and everybody else My

Directing move on her partner.

Yeah, And I think it was because she was like an expat and I think she wanted to show everybody else that she's not. But it's this thing, and it's really true. It's a complete sitcom thing from the nineties where if you're doing comedy and someone says something to you, you go you make a little exhale before you say your line to kind of show. And that was like, my I'm showing that I don't like what you just said or whatever. But I had no idea I was

I learned this from watching episodes of Becker or something.

Yeah for real.

Yeah it was sitcom acting, but it was that thing where it was like it was almost like she figured out the perfect thing to dismantle me entirely for the rest of the time.

It was crazy.

It was crazy, But then after a while it was like I started to realize, well, you're in this, so you better fucking like you know, like you're not going to get it from the boom operator.

You're not going to get it from her.

Everybody in the cast was lovely, so I was just like, well, just do what they're doing, like you'll be fine. Oh. I had to kind of like dig it up myself.

That's such an awful experience to have to like, oh my god, I so I can really relate to that.

It's like it it wasn't in front.

Of everybody too then oh yeah, oh yeah, god, it's such a no, please don't.

Yeah, And I think if I think if I were a true, like actor at heart, I would have been able to kind of like counteract ego wise, right, counteract that.

But it's like, but I think I was. It was just like in that thing where I was just.

Like, how did I get this barred? This is so exciting? And then it was like it was basically her going like, hm, I'm not sure, and then I'm like, oh, because I'm really not sure, so now we're all not sure. It was like that, you know, watching something kind of unravel.

Yeah, totally.

Luckily the other people in it were so good and so nice and so cool that it it that helped and elevate it, and I just you know, it wasn't It was a great experience overall, but it was one of those kind of things where it's like, yeah, you can't essentially, that's what I'm saying. You can't have a low uh you know bank of your confidence bank has

But I'm able to sort of like you.

Shove it away and you're like, I'll deal with that when I go back to my room and I'll cry, I'll hate myself for the rest of the night. But for now, like, yes, it's almost like you have to like just I don't know, uh, push it to the side because you It's definitely not a thing, at least for me, where I feel like I am full of confidence throughout the whole thing.

It's like I am dead in a part of myself.

Yeah, that's that's what's that's the way to put it. I think that's what people get good at. When I watch someone that is unshakably confident, I quickly realize a lot of the time that they aren't confident. They hate themselves like I do as well, but they were able to set it aside. And I've never been in the set it aside and get into full character.

It's tough to get into character, it is.

Oh, getting into character is so hard. You have to sit.

Yeah, you have to find a good chair.

That's that's the hardest. Yeah.

I want to start to get into this standing acting.

Oh yeah, not on zoom then no, full body stand up acting. Mary what was your first What was the first job you got in Hollywood where it wasn't a usc student film but it was actually like you were like, oh, this is a real one.

Where you have to sign up. Yeah, yeah, Oh my gosh. It was a Cascade commercial.

Oh wow, Yes, what was your line? What was the line?

I think my line was like, which I of course then played way too big and I was like, you can't put that in there.

Or something like that.

It was something about it was something about the dishwasher and that. I was like, oh, because my husband in the commercial, he was.

Going to put a dish in the dishwasher without having rinsed it.

These dumb commercial husbands.

And I was like, you cannot with I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And I grabbed and buy the collar and I spit in his face. And but the parasitic commercial is, oh, you don't have to rent it, you know, with the Cascade, you just put it right in, keep it dirty and all that. And yes, it was so exciting. I was just I was over the moon to be to be on a real set and to be Yeah, it was so exciting.

Did you have to sign something that said you would not be in any other dish or soap related commercial for a year and a half there like that.

There is Yes, it's like an exclusivity thing.

I think.

I I'm sure I did. Yes, any any sort of dish products I I could, and you know they were clamoring.

You to have me.

That's when they all start calling you on.

Paul Malive.

Paul Malive was really persistent, Uh, yes, I did have to do that.

And it was also the first time, Like.

The acting lifestyle is so crazy because you sort of you of course, never know when you're gonna work, and you you work and you get like a chunk of income and then but it's not consistent and.

So you're expected to figure out for yourself how to.

Make that chunk last. And you know, I learned that lesson the hard way. But it was my it was my first time like having that experience and like, you know, not that it was a ton of money or thing, but it was like you know, when I was a host of see in a restaurant or like dog walking.

And stuff, it was like, oh, you get little.

Checks on like a weekly basis, but it was thrilling to see a number one was larger than one hundred dollars.

Yeah, it did last a while, like it wasn't a national commercial that paid.

It was a national commercial. But I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say it lasted as long as I.

Just turn the metal in con because they.

Also like the narrative you hear.

And I don't know if you both experienced this, but the narrative you hear, like, oh, commercial acting is where it's at.

You know, you get on the super Bowl, Yes.

You're set for life. It's basically the narrative that I internalized.

It used to be that way, yeah, right, yeah, no longer, no, no.

No, it's just it lasts for two months.

Yeah, and then they when they take away the insurance and you're left with these car payments from a Honda A eight on record that you bought.

I don't know, it's just an example, Chris, you're crying. It's okay. It's my method acting.

That's the first thing I learned when I got to Los Angeles. It's how to cry on command. It had nothing to do with acting. It's just it was that's what the city did to me. Did you really was one of your first jobs at medieval times? For reals, I know you've talked.

That was my first ever job. Yeah, yes, oh it's a photography Wench.

Now that's you know, that's a problem.

That's a job where men it's they're playing along like at dix Burgers or whatever or Dick's whatever.

Where last resort?

Yeah, yeah, that place where it's like, here's your napkins, asshole?

Can I not? I don't want to play the game. Can we be normal? Thank god?

I'm so tired of this character. Were men just like, hey, Wench, it had.

To be awful, you know, it really wasn't.

And I because, well, huh, the whole reason I love Medieval Times so much. And I went my high school Merching band went when I was sixteen or something to the to the Medieval Times in Toronto, and I loved it so much that as soon as I went to college outside Chicago, and there's in Medieval Times in Shamberg, Illinois, and.

I was like, I gotta work there. I'll do whatever.

And it was it was fifty miles away from the town where I went to college in, so I was like worth it.

I will drive one hundred miles round trip.

Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday to get paid six dollars and fifty cents an hour just to be in this world.

It would be fun to be that character all day. I would like that.

Yes, yeah, I loved it, but I didn't really.

I also wasn't interacting with the guests as closely as sure.

Yeah, if you were interacting with them, that would be too close of a photo.

From the wench.

You have to from a distance take a good photo, is what I'm saying. My knowledge of photography is that you don't have to be six inches.

Away, and that's very true.

But what we would do, like the serving the serving staff would come by and they would like they would get you know, called on for drinks and stuff like that. So they were like getting uh called to more. And I do remember going once and our server was like, you can call me my name, you can call me this, but do not call me wench.

I know what I'm dressed.

Like, but don't you dare. Yeah yeah, so.

That word, I think is why I asked that. I'm like, that's not They have changed that, mabe.

I'm sure they have.

Yeah.

Were you in a different area like people came to get their picture from you?

Yes?

Well, oh so my job was it was a small staff.

There was like seven of us maybe, and what we would do is, have you been to Medieval Times?

Yes? I have a follow up story that I'm very glad.

I can't wait till I can't wait to hear it, hear you.

I tried to go one time, and we called ahead of time because I have epilepsy.

They were like, do you have strobe lights? And they're like, no, it's fine.

And then we get there and there's huge signs going no strobe lights, be warned. So we all like had to get We all like looked each other and just got back in the car and you know, went somewhere else.

Yeah, it was.

It was really disappointing, and I felt so guilty. And then like three people in the group were like, I'm really glad we're leaving. I'm really excited we don't have to do this. And I was like, oh, thank god. Yeah, I did it feel too bad? Yeah, all that sucks.

Yeah, they do like light a light show with some of the Yeah, it's but that's so disappointing that they weren't upfront about that to begin with.

You know, the strobe lights of medieval times are represented accurately and they are good.

That's fine, and they are and you know so and as you know, as is us taking pictures with cameras and trying to.

Sell you little key chains with your pictures in it.

But that's kind of what we would do is people would come in and we would take pictures of groups together. And it varies from like franchise to franchise, like sometimes the king will be out there or the queen and

Keychains.

As I mentioned before, there are keychains, and you know, the different size copies of the photo. We put them in packets and then we'd each get like a stack of packets and we'd have a flashlight and we'd have to go into the arena and try to sell them to people during the shop.

Flashlights, not a torch, that's what.

It's something about the photos being flammable as well as our costumes.

But but I was so bad at selling those packets. But because also.

There's like most of the pictures was like a child's head seven feet of like space of the backdrop and then a little table card in the corner.

These were not good photos.

But but you know, my cowork is sell a lot of them.

But I just couldn't do it.

So anyway, that was a chop. That's great.

Yeah, yeah, they should have a monitor so you just point at it, you know, like at a roller coaster.

Yeah, exactly.

It's also so wasteful because we would print them ahead of all, so like people wouldn't even say we want them.

Yeah, like it.

Was like part of the experience. I guess as you just get.

To well, I guess I shouldn't have framed it. My lord, I wonder.

If any cheap dads go and go through the dumpster at the end of the night and be like, here it is.

I'm not fans of yeah either.

Oh my god, it was twenty dollars. Oh shit, those packets were twenty dollars. That's Schomberg for you tell you what?

Thanks Mary.

Do you know like Jordan Morris and Hal Roudneck Yeah, h yeah, yeah.

We went.

So we worked for this thing called Fuel TV. It was like a skateboard snowboard network. But we had to do these pack these go to events, and so we went to Vegas.

I don't know if it was a Medieval Times.

It may have been like a a rip off of it. Maybe it was Medieval Times. But we just were going to interview some nights and be in characters standard yeah, yeah, being characters and do jokes and then put together an interview montage. But they wrote us into the show onto the act like we and we they just said, oh, you're going to be part of the show.

You and we had marks that we had.

I had to run in the mud in full armor and a horse like got up on its hind legs right above me, and that's where the strobe lights came. In they they shot red lights on them, so it seemed like a red knight, like from the Fisher King or something. Yeah, and then Jan had to fall fall and I had to lift him up. And I'm realizing now that they were messing with us because I had to run with Jordan on my back through the mud and I was sore.

I like pulled a muscle in my leg. They were probably laughing at us.

I had to a guy's fully swung at me with a sword and I had break up with a sword that they left in the mud.

It was insane and horrifying.

It was stunt work and we were not We're like, oh, you don't have to put us in the show, and they're like, oh, you're in the show.

It was so did you have a rehearsal or were they just.

Like like looking at a piece of paper, Oh, you'll run see this out there. You'll run out there, and that's when the first horse comes. There's an argument that's when you pick up the sword, then your friend will be on the ground. I can't remember the whole scene or the storyline.

Yes, I can't.

The fact that I had to run with Jordans in wet horse mud and poop.

Wearing. There was poop. No one warned me about that.

I can't believe. I, you know, rubbed it in my face for good luck.

Anyway.

It was horrifying, Chris, I was sure, I know, I don't know why. I you know, before a scene you have to rub the dirt on your face.

Yeah.

It was absolutely horrifying.

And I couldn't walk the next day, like the wow, yeah it was so I then.

You Sue, and now you own that I could have.

Yeah, now I could. No, I just got a free stein.

Of mead.

It's Miller light. Yeah, so scary.

God, what a crazy I'm so jealous of that experience. I would have. All I wanted was to get in that arena.

Yeah, if I did, you have to work up to it. Was it like if you started the photography lunch some day you might be able.

To right right?

No, No, there was no ladder.

There was from photography wunch, but I did there. The Lord Chancellor, who sort of is the n sea of the night, he was also in charge of casting, and so I would I would always, like, you know, whenever he would be I was like, oh my god, he's so glorious. And one time I was standing at the photo We set up a booth after the show where people can come and if they didn't buy the packete during the show, they have like another option before they leave.

And I was like I was inside.

I was like and she was like no, and.

He was like, well, I'm you know, we're looking for actresses to play the part of the princess in the story.

And I was.

Like, that's all I wanted, but he like gave her. I didn't say anything in the moment, you know, because he wasn't talking to me, but he gave her like information for an audition. So I think you can like get scouted, I guess to be a part of the show. I'm sure there are like regular auditions too, but it was heartbreaking.

You have to catch the Lord Chancellor's eye essentially.

Did you have to do people stay in character when there is the show isn't happening, like permissioner use the bathroom, my vassal, stuff like that, did you I mean, I imagine people staying characters.

Well, I really wanted to. I was because I was also like I was really into Lord of the Rings. I was like listening to the soundtrack to him from work.

So I actually.

Didn't have any friends at work.

I didn't like, I didn't talk to people. I sort of like showed up. I got like my corset and my clothes, and I just like, yeah, stayed in character, I guess whole time. But my character was it wasn't like a it wasn't like a super strong character or anything.

It was just like you know, I but I just didn't. I didn't ever drop out of it, I guess.

And yeah, you know, planned to go to tjive Fridays with anybody you know?

Right right?

Well, I guess I do that. During Halloween. I've realized it's not that bad to stay in character with your costume, you know, or I've done it. They have like a Renaissance festival here and I went with a group of people and they all some of my nerdier friends, and they all stayed in character. And so I'm like, I just got quiet. That's where I didn't want to do it. I just I'm like, no, I'm eating another period turkey leg. You know, I'm doing my part.

Yeah, I love it. I love that whole world. I just I just really eat it up. So, yeah, that was my that was my first ever job.

That's a great first job. What a kind of like what a standard to set, whereas like some people work at ed the Bevick's. But you're just like, no, I've gone back in time to take photos.

That's right.

No, I uh yeah, yeah that was I would accept no less. At that time, I didn't I didn't really understand how jobs worked. And I was like, no, no, it has to be fulfilling a fantasy.

Many job I work has to fulfill a fantasy.

And sorry, you were driving? Did it take you half an hour? Did it take you?

It took me an hour down and an hour back? Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's hilarious.

So I paid to work there.

Yet in many ways, now you're Mary. You're the kind of person that I feel like, I feel like I went to college with you. I feel like I've known you for a really long.

Time and I feel the same way.

It's really weird, but we actually I'm like, but did we first meet, like with me doing Askcat or the UCB show.

Yes, that that was the first time we met.

I remember we were backstage and you had written.

For Space, Yes, Space, Other Space.

And it was right before we were about to go on and you you mentioned that you were writing for that show, and I fell head over heels for you. And I mean not because of that fact, because then I, you know, saw you perform and do your thing and was madly in love and then and I think my favorite Murder was relatively young at that time, but Betsy Star was backstage with us and she was like talking to you about your podcast and I was like, what

For hours every week.

So I really feel like we have a very long, very long history.

But that means a lot that that it's a mutual feeling because.

I yeah, yeah, oh same sick well. And also, I you know, improv is the kind of thing I've talked about this and you and I've talked about this before, because I I feel like the improv and stand up are opposite, where improv is anything goes, stay in the moment, see what other people are doing right, And for me that is it's so scary and so horrifying, and I trust no one and I need to get the big laugh myself and I don't give a fuck about anybody, you know.

So I have such a.

Competitive kind of controlling thing about performing where stand up it suits. But my friend tricked me into taking an improv class one time, and I it cracked me open, where I was like, oh, all of that is like neurosis, and if you can actually play against that and give into anything could happen and you will be fine if you just trust this moment whatever. So then I got this appreciation for improv and what improv people do and when you're good at improv, what an amazing thing that is.

One of the more I did not expect it or know how self indulgent it would feel to be an ascat monologust and then watch your story come to life. It's like so self fulfilling.

I didn't.

I'm like, this is the coolest thing I've ever experienced. A share and watch your story come to Like I did it a couple of times and I I, it was so exciting, and I'm like, so exciting. Yeah, it's such a funny. I did not see it coming. How how it put me in a good mood for.

Yeah, I rested the year that because it is such an improv is such a collaborative art form. But I really loved the ASCAT format so much for that reason, where it felt like we were all working together to make the show, like it was the monologist and that was the improvisers, and we all like create it.

The show couldn't exist without either component.

And it was so actually called not a herald, but a a name.

It's an Armando, no Armando.

I just wanted to put in a plan, a seed that I do indeed have a training and improv and I was background, well, it's wallpaper, no, And I was bad at it because I, like Karen said, I would. I really noticed the contrast when I would when I moved to Austin because of an improv festival, and then

It was two parts of my brain. I maybe that's just me, but it.

Makes me think.

The first time I did that improv class, the first time, I because I just said no, I'm auditing.

Because I was.

It scared me to death. I was like, so sorry, you're saying I don't get to control everything, and like it was like saying basically saying, put your entire personality down that you have been cultivating for you know, twenty five years, and then good luck. I was like, this is horrifying. So the very first scene I was in, you know, I have to pick my action, so of course start flipping burgers because deep down. I'm not a

Turned my back. And it was Chris Barnes, who was the teacher, and he's like, hey, Karen, what are you doing?

He's like, you have to acknowledge a person came into your burger join or whatever.

I was just like, oh, yeah, I just did. I don't want to.

I don't want to interact with it.

You know, you're choosing, Yeah, you're choosing to basically ignore someone.

And the whole point of you standing there is to say, hey, what's up? Like, Hey, why are you in my burger joint? Yeah? And it was the funniest like it's just like, well, sorry, these are my instincts.

My instinct is to turn my back. That's who I am. I guess I have to.

Yeah, but in your defense, what burger joint you walk in and it's the cook's job to say welcome, And.

That's exactly It's kind of.

Like, yeah, he was snoozing on his part the why can I get something from you?

In the line? Cook, also get out of the kitchen.

What are you doing?

Yeah, why did you walk in?

And that it's so funny because you immediately went to flipping burgers. That the clip that they sent here, I just watched where U you all did improv on meltdown and every suggestion they're like apples and you all just start picking apples and what.

I don't know.

There was just everything you in Unison knew that you just had to do all do the same actions. No one was ever going to be the customer or even holding a basket of apples.

Ye, just the same everyone match match.

Yeah, this is because I also, like I taught after going through UCP and performing there for a while, I was teaching classes and with coach and stuff and and it's so it's it is such a crazy thing because obviously you're working towards being funny. Yeah, right, but you really have to you almost have to be like I'm not going to even try to be funny. Like we would encourage people to like don't worry about comedy right now. It's like just like, h be exist in this like space,

Yes, it felt very dangerous to be on stage but not be giving people anything to justify my burger flipping existence.

Yeah, it's just.

Like I can't just stand here.

Yes, I can't just stand here, and I also can't figure out what you're about to do, so I can't acknowledge you like the decision making.

And I think that was.

Really what my kind of fear was that all I did was learn you're afraid of it because yeah, it doesn't really work. So like the whole idea of going to these classes, and I really love Chris Barnes because he was such a good teacher and he was so just like that exact thing of you're not writing this scene and you're not in control of what the other person does. It's all just about how you react to what ends up happening. And you do that all day,

Yes exactly.

It's like it's not that big of a deal where to me it was all like, yeah, even if the stage is only half an inch above the floor, you're on stage, so you better be like, hello my baby. Yeah, given given a thousand persons.

You better Hello my baby all over that.

Stage because it's a catchy song.

Well it's so vulnerable.

I think that's like what it comes down to is like it really requires uh, you're just so raw and so exposed and yes, so vulnerable, like people will not laugh, is what I tell myself all the time.

But that is after.

I guess, like if you do it so much, you just get desensitized to that and you feel okay, I guess.

Being that kind of well, that's the that's where the power is because if you can, if you understand that getting vulnerable is what's going to bring something and like that that's people are in the audience watching you do it. Because even just getting to the vulnerable vulnerable part, like the first time I did askat with you guys, where I knew I was like, there's gonna be some like heavy hitters here and then are you gonna be the

Just like, are you fucking kidding me?

Like I'm trying to I'm trying to oppress these people and I'm trying to this and I'm trying to that. And it was like, Nope, you have to now be here and sincerely think of what this makes you think of and talk about it.

And you were perfect. You're perfect.

Thank you.

It was so fun though, because it was that thing of a different way of getting to the same results where it's like I won't be the engine and I won't be the writer. I'm just I'm just trying to, you know, get a bunch of stuff going. Yeah, they have something to.

Do, Yes, yes, can I admit something? Uh, there was there was something good. Let's keep this in not safe space. When I there was something that was acted out when I did my monologue and I added it to a joke because I knew it was never going to happen again. So they actually wrote one of my jokes. I'm like, oh, that's oh. It was about uh my mom dressing me up as a crossing guard and there being an actual crossing guard on duty.

That's what the real life side of it.

But the way they acted it out, it's like, oh, that would be funny if that was one of the things I was concerned about. I think kidnappers are something. I added that, and it was an idea got because I was like, oh no, I was worried about that. I forgot that until they reminded me, So it wasn't an actual theft. They just reminded me of my own similar thought. No, yeah, that's so fun.

Yeah, that is the fun part though. It is like you're kind of a part of something that has everything to do with you and nothing to do with you, so you can like, you know, I don't know, it's it's it's funny. And then there were some parts where like I remember one scene where it was like I really was just stretching and I was like trying to think of something, and I told a weird story about the first time I went to an Indian restaurant with my aunt and uncle in San Francisco.

We're all sitting cross legging on the ground.

Or whatever, and it was the it turned into it was almost like we're not sure what to do with this, and that became the joke where it was like it was like it was almost like I started realizing, like, oh, you can't fail in this world.

Yes, exactly, you can't.

Which is it's such a beautiful it's well, I love improvs so much for that reason, where uh, I think that's such a human thing to think, how how am I going to survive in this situation? And in a comedy show, the way to survive is to be funny. And you can be funny by like trying to out funny the people while you're on stage with But but the actual, the beautiful thing about improv is, as you said, Karen, like it has everything to do with you and nothing

I just sort of what helps.

Like release that is just being like I don't have to worry about any of it, Like all these people are on stage with me and we will figure it out.

It's like this blanket trust you have that no matter what you do, you will be supported. Yes, and it's such a it's so freaking beautiful. We get her to cry cry freaking beautiful.

Yeah.

Yeah, it probably helps that you're you're probably good friends with everyone in Wild Horses, right, yes, yeah, arguments.

You all know each other's brains.

We do, we do, and because the first part of our show is we just talk like just have you know, conversation.

Karen and Georgia did it at Largo. I remember that was such a I remember such a fun show. I have a vague memory of talking about PUBI care.

Vague memory.

Anyway, we can go back and listen to it's one of the episodes that we that was.

On our podcast.

But the but yeah, it's uh you after you talk so much about yourself and your point of view.

Yeah you do. You really do get to know each other so well.

Yes, are you? Are you back to doing live performing? Yes? Yeah, I'm back? Are you we'll?

Oh good? Have you all done a lot of shows?

I just got back from some fun shows and it is it is audiences are so appreciated and excited. Yea, and I feel that everywhere and that I wanted to stay that way.

It's a very good time to be.

Yeah.

Five shows. Yeah, I've been loving.

Have you done some Mary I have?

Yeah.

I actually just came back from doing some shows in New York and I haven't been to New York in many years, so that was so exciting to be there, but I totally experienced the same thing where it was like everyone, there's such joy. Yeah, to be gathered again that you feed off. Each of the audience is feeding out the performers and vice versa. And it's just it's so positive and happy.

Yeah, it's amazing.

And then I just go right into my COVID material. Remember remember this what's happening? Oh man, I thought we were gonna forget about it.

I'm here to remind you.

Yeah, everybody remember three months ago when these people wanted to hear these jokes.

I'm afraid you're gonna forget about quarantine and COVID. So I'm going to remind you. Do you have any plugs now? I have like shows because honestly, listeners, if you have the opportunity to see Mary Holland do improve in real life, you have to do it. It's the funniest, most magical.

You have to you have to go. Thank you, Karen, Yeah, thank you.

Yeah.

We Wild Horses.

We do have a show coming up May twenty ninth at the Dynasty Typewriter Theater in Los Angeles.

But it is cool.

What they're doing is they're doing a hybrid thing where they're live streaming the show and they'll have an audience.

Have y'all performed there? Yes, it's so cool.

But it's been a while since because for a while everything was live streaming, and I mean I was doing shows to have a silent void with the zoom participants or audience muted, you know, and I thought that was actually a good exercise, but I was getting tired of it. But a lot of people miss being able to watch shows from there, like those streaming.

I forget that.

Maybe the audiences we're enjoying those, and so it's cool that you're providing both.

Now, Yeah, that's yeah, that's.

It's It's very cool. So we'll do that on May twenty ninth, five pm.

Hey, hey, is it a nice Sunday afternoon?

It's a nice Sunday afternoon. It comes to roll in straight from brunch.

We'll treat to a show in New York City. It's like two in the morning, so it works out.

Yeah, So where's up?

Yeah? Yeah, perfect, And so that's the next live show I have coming up with Wild Horses. And then I am in a movie in a film that is that will be released on Netflix on May thirteenth, called Senior year.

Is Rebel Wilson in it? I read the paperwork.

Yeah, so that'll be that'll be fun.

It's a wild ride.

Yeah before the premise of that is so funny, could you just.

It's very funny. So Rebel plays a cheerleader who at seventeen had a terrible cheerleading accident and went into a coma.

And is she funny name? I can't even magine.

They had me at Hello, my baby Hell.

But then she wakes up twenty years later and she wants to finish her senior year of high school.

So it's that is it's a real fun that's awesome.

That is so funny to me. Yeah, premise alone, I will be watching.

It's great.

And it's written by Brandon Scott Jones, who's a brilliant improviser and writer and an actor. And so it's and it's got a great group. There's Sam Richardson, there's Zoe Chow. You know, it's it's a fun it's a fun group.

That's awesome.

I can't wait for it to come.

That's May thirteenth, May thirteenth, nice, put it in your cows.

Yeah, you're queen, you're quick cue you your queen.

You're cute.

Wait no, don't talk about please, don't talk.

About I'm glad you said it because I was. I wanted to yell it.

You.

You're so great, Mary, thank you so much for being for having me.

Yes, this was.

It was great to see you and you see your face and talk to you.

You too, and I hear your voice truly every week.

So so it's wonderful to get to see your face.

And Chris, so wonderful meeting you. It was a joy. I love talking. I'm talking with you.

You were terrific. And everyone watched anything Mary has been in it.

She just steals the show, except for that green tomatoes please.

In the dumpster that you found it in?

What is that bloom operator? Then then later became like David Fincher. Someone realized he was also getting his start.

You know, d see what he's doing now. Ceb remembers you maybe there's a friend.

She should maybe there's a friendship.

Yes, And maybe that was also a formative artistic experience for him where he was like, well, I know the kind of art.

I don't want to make. It's the kind that she's doing reenactment.

He became a seramesist after that.

Ye It's broken.

Oh Boy, thanks for being on May you've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

D y n Aar?

This has been an exactly right.

Production produced by Casey O'Brien.

Mixed by John Bradley.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Theme song by Karen Kilgareff.

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Thank you, Quo, You're welcome, Honk Hunk