S3 - Ep. 24 - Irene Tu

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim, and give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send you off in style.

Do you wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it?

We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks And this is Karen Kilgariff.

Hi, Karen, Hi, Chris. How are you?

Can I be honest?

Yes?

When I asked that, I actually want the answer, and I do. Sit I'll sit down for hours. I got a lot of free time.

I had the one of those kind of mornings where I thought I woke up, I thought it was good mood, and then the first phone call set me into like a little like what's the word. I was like in a in a rut of like irritation. Yeah, I think I drink too much coffee. I think that's what it is. And I'm in total denial about it because I absolutely love coffee because I love white drugs. But I can't do them anymore.

Yeah, yeah, I found that coffee makes me angry. There's no other way to not anxious.

Not I am. I am quick to anger and rage, yes, yeah.

And it used to be well in my in my like TV, daily television days, it was required, like you, absolutely I needed an entire pot of coffee before I left the house because of the kind of days that I would spend and the kind of fighting.

Yeah yeah, you got a daily basis.

You gotta yell at people during meetings to get anything done.

On these it was just all yelling.

It was constant, constant conflict. And so now I think it's like I get up and I have one cup, and that's where I should put it down. But my natural personality is like eight more cups and we'll see how I feel.

Yeah, because who makes a cup.

It's people that get these pods and don't care about the environment. It's because of my love of the earth, and you know, I'm a total hippie.

I make a whole pot.

Yes, yeah. And then you compost those.

Grounds, I do, I swear I do.

I put them in the garden or I put them in my I sprinkle them into my potted plants.

I use the grounds. It's good. It's actually good.

Use those grounds too. Did you realize that as of jan one, we're all supposed to be composting by law in California. We're supposed to be separating our garbage garbage, and we're supposed to have a compost garbage.

I hope that they enforce that, and I hope they start with, uh, you know, you gotta put together all your cardboard, all the result.

You gotta get organized. We gotta get organized.

You got to get our garbage organized.

Yeah, yeah, that's it's very important.

It is.

Well, I just I just went down to the optometry to get glasses, and I realized the glasses that I like are from Michael Douglas in the movie Falling Down, just the partial wire with the dark frame on top. Yes, And this person was unfamiliar, so I kept one looking for a scene that was a close up of his face. This person had not seen the movie. I chose the scene where he has a bazooka and the little kids like, no, you got to pull it apart. That's the trigger, and

I'm not. I think they felt like I was angry at society.

It was almost felt like all of a sudden, I was buying a gun and they're questioning my you're.

Holding up a thing where Michael Douglas is just shooting people on the freeway.

These are the yeah saying my oldly racist things.

Yeah, it's like, oh, this movie is from the nineties, but I'm very cited for the glasses, can.

I tell you? And it sounds exciting because did you end up realizing did you guys come together and realize the phrase you were looking for is horn rimmed glasses?

Horn?

Well?

If I if it's a true horn rimmed, those come up to a point like a far side character.

And for girls, yeah, the girls one.

Okay, I guess that is what they're called. But this person didn't know that. They're like, oh, so like wiry but framey on top. And it's like, how long you've been doing this?

They said wiry and FRAMEI yeah, so like wirey down below and frame up top.

And they didn't even wear glasses.

I mean, you know, the obvious joke here is, sir, this is a Wendy's is that you just were in the completely wrong.

It was it's totally normal to buy glasses and an alley by a dumpstairs there it is.

Box of glasses. Remember the wasn't there like a box of free glo. I just had a weird flash. Sorry, this is not gonna be.

Worth it, but there was, like I'm ready.

There was free glasses that you could take and try on. At my grammar school in the office, oh wow, Like remember you got brought into a room for eye tests and hearing tests. Yeah, I.

On a fancy day. It's very vague memory. It's more of scoliosis and life testing. At my school, they didn't care if we could see what if you had a curvy back, hit the bricks, your freak kid, They'd say.

Yeah yeah, So I was like, yeah yeah.

They'd always for some reason, there's always an adult right behind me rooting through my hair or my back.

Get away.

It's time to suppress those. I'm very excited about our guest today. I believe she has a show within hours.

Which it's creepy. I looked at her schedule.

You did some real research today. I did.

Oh, I always do.

It's so weird that people think I don't do hours of painstaking research. I treat this like a college, like a like I'm a professor.

No, you you do, and it absolutely shows conversation.

Yeah, has said it shows, but I do do it.

Uh.

Yeah. This comic is so.

Cool, like cool in a way where I if I was like, Irene, we have to can you help me get rid of this gun? And we have to pick up a bag of money, I feel like she'd be like, Okay, yeah, we're the good guys, right, that would be the only question. I think I'm right about that. Anyway, she does clubs and also colleges all around the cold.

Yeah yeah everyone, uh Irene too? Oh kay?

I almost said, put your hands together again? Hi Irene, Hi, Hi, how are you guys? Am I right about that? Like in the green room, if at Helium I was in a panic and I said, can you help me out?

I'm in a I'm in.

A bit of a spot. We have to go get rid of something. I wouldn't say it's a gun, but just.

You would show me the gun later I would.

I feel like I just from and we don't hang out all the damn time.

But I feel like when I first met you that I already I know.

I feel like I know you well for how little we hung out.

This is true.

Yeah.

If you if you were like, hey, I need to get rid of something, I'd be like, okay, let's make a plan. And then you show me the gun. I'm like, oh wow, interesting, Okay, didn't expect this right from Chris Fairbanks, but let's do it. And also can we get this done before the show starts because I'm still trying to do.

My thought right.

Yeah, and you, I need to.

Figure out my set, so I can't. I can't just be driving to bridges and throwing guns off of them for you the whole time.

And this is you do have a set tonight in Austin.

I do.

I'm at Moontower yep, and I have a set right after.

A seven thirty Austin time.

Are you excited?

Yeah, I'm excited. I've never done comedy in Austin before.

So and this is your first obviously then your first show of the fest.

Mm hmm, yep. Just flew in what happens.

Thel Vita Room?

Where you at the it's not the Vita Room, and I also didn't look up where it is yet.

So well, i'll tell you it's not the I remember now. It's at the Cedar Street courtyard. Actually it is.

Yeah, you're at the Cedar Street I guess. I'm trying to figure out where that. It's where my friend Matt Sadler used to work. If he's there, you're gonna love him. Uh.

That's where I started comedy. I mean I started.

Oh yeah, I forgot until you just said.

I was like, that's right.

Yes, it's so.

I know all the venue and I've never been invited to that festival and it doesn't bother me.

No, it's fine.

Look I have they know I'm busy this weekend. I assume they checked my schedule preemptively and that's why they don't ask every year.

But I'm kidding.

It's You're gonna have fun though, it's it looks like a fun group of comics this year.

Yeah.

I think it'll be fine. But that is crazy that you're not doing it.

I never have. Yeah, it's okay.

It sounds to me if you started comedy in Austin and they've never asked you to do it somewhere in between there you pissed somebody off. Where the gun is coming from is this? Asked other people to help you get rid of weapons.

I had a lot of side gigs in Austin.

Money wasn't rolling in from comedy and so yes, I had a little crime ring and I asked a lot of comics to help me. And I guess I rub some people the wrong way because now they're bookers.

No, I don't know what it is.

I don't think I've ever pissed anyone off in Austin. I think that they just there's a thing about the the city you start in.

And I left there in two thousand and three.

I've developed away from in my time away from there, and they still think of me, maybe as the kind of skittish, nervous stumbling you know, I had no confidence. I think they still think I'm that guy. Maybe, but I worked their comedy clubs.

You know what, We're going to get Irene to ask a bunch of people tonight right after her first.

Oh that's all I'm going to I'm going to do my set anymore.

So Chris Fairbanks, huh, and just see what they say.

I'm just going to ask each person that I think might run the festival or even be a part of it, and be like, so, Chris Fairbanks here there's a beef.

Yeah, get ith Yeah, I don't know. It is a good question and something I'll think about tonight.

Irene. Let's focus back on Irene.

Yes, of course, Irene.

Do you have a pre show ritual? Because it is exciting to be at a festival like I remember one time for somewhere one of those festivals. I flew in and the plane was late, so I had to run from the hotel. I had to rush to the first set, and it was an awful feeling. And that's not what festivals are about. Is there anything that you do to like ground yourself? Knowing that festivals are a little extra, there's like lots of people hanging around. You might feel

I think I don't like to be rushing. That always stresses me out, so I try to have plenty of time before my set. Ironically doing this podcast.

Yes, that's why I was like, this is something that would make me nervous if I were you, not that I want you to get nervous.

No, but also it's like it's I think it's like a short set, so this is it's like it's it's like going to be like a ten minute set. So yeah, that is easy. And it's not like if I was headlining, I may not. I might have been like, can we change the time of this podcast?

Yeah, but no, it's and you have time because you're number six in a lineup of eight.

Is that true?

Because I looked at your schedule, Yeah, you don't do the Velvet Room.

You have no idea what your manager.

Now.

I was looking because there's a lot of shows at uh at that you're on, Like this festival has you work and like you have two tomorrow. Uh you know, one's a daylight thing. I maybe skip that if I were you, But you're going to love the Velvet Room on Sunday night. All these gigs, by the way, are weeks ago because we record in advance. But Irene was in Austin and you heard that she did great because she did.

Yes see, but please please text me my schedule daily because I clearly have no idea when.

And well I downloaded the app and I will I will forward the prompts to your number.

But do you do anything like, say, do you do shadow boxing? Do you do not talk to people? Do you drink two beers? Like? Is there anything you do for the people that don't do stand up and go? How do you do that? How do you get up in front of people like that? Is there anything like that that you do that helps you?

I generally will write out a set list, even if it's like the same set list as like the night before or like literally every day that week. I just will rewrite the set list in my notebook and then I stare at it in a panic that I'll forget all of my jokes on stand up, and then I'll paste back. I'll paste back and forth. Got to pay backstage, I'll usually I'll have a water and then I'm just opening and closing it and drinking like one sip at a time, nervously.

Yeah, recapping it after everything.

Oh yeah, click click click CLICKLI like, oh, but it has to be like one of the twisty ones. Yeah, it can't be like a FlipTop.

I don't like that.

So you do have a writer where you specify the things that you require.

I mean, I feel like they always have the twisty ones because.

Fliptops they don't work.

They got the little safety thing you're supposed to pull off a strip that's half the circumference of the brim and it just breaks.

So then you got to use your teeth as a tool.

And then you're like sucking it. Yes, that's like a baby.

Ye yeah, I don't like that either. I don't like the suckling. We went through this as babies.

Same with them. When they changed the Starbucks cups. When suddenly we had straw legislation that immediately outlawed straws. Yeah, yeah, it was amazing. And then there was just suddenly we had sippy cups at Starbucks, where I was like, yeah, I need to I can't do this. I don't know, this feels bad to me.

Yeah, for a while I just had to go, just give me the brim, Can you salt the rim? And just give me a cup of salty coffee? Because I can't get used to the snap.

But we have Look how far we've come.

Yeah, we were adults with sippy cups. God, that's so true. Of like a funny nervous I guess that's why I asked the question because there is something about the green room energy that every time I would interpret it as like these people are making me nervous, or I can't

Right, Yeah, yeah, totally, because otherwise if I don't do that, I feel like I get on stage and I'm just like scattered.

Yes, right.

And I think it's funny that you asked about it, Karen, because last time Irene and I worked together in Portland the green room, it was one of those situations where it's very god and there was seven comics in there.

Oh every night there was guest sets.

I had to go get my head straight in the showroom sitting with the audience where it was quiet, Like Irene and.

I both were like wow, oh more people.

There was just a lot of activity and it was the opposite of what a green room is supposed to provide, like, yes, I'm about to go up.

We both were like we both equally get.

Nervous and have to stare at our handwriting from five minutes ago, and new people are, hey, what's up?

Like you have to meet people?

The handshaking and this was during like we're still paranoid, We're gonna die because of spit like it was. I remember that being one of the more stressful green room experiences that we shared.

I was surprised you just didn't kick people out.

I I.

Have to drink a bunch of coffee and get mad, and then I go overboard and I'm like, everyone, get the hell out, Like Jesus, I have to lose it to that.

I wish I could more so.

Was it like local comics that were excited You guys were.

There some of that, and then and then friends that were doing guest sets, and then there was confusion and they thought they had a guest set every night or there was just a lot of people yeah in there, but yes, anyone that I'm now, I'm nervous that they're all listening together, like having their feelings heard. It was also people that wanted to hang out, and I appreciate that, but I don't appreciate it right before I get on stage, that's all, you know.

Yeah, somebody recently I was in San Francisco, like another comic and I was trying to tape a set and then they like wanted to have like kind of a serious conversation like right before or after my set. I was like, absolutely not, there's no way. I was like, we cannot talk right now. And I felt like bad, so I like texted them again like yesterday, and I was like, hey, like sorry about that thing the other week.

I one time almost started crying because and it was right when I started stand up, so I would have like real like full breakdowns every time because I didn't really have material and I kind of was like I've always wanted to do this and now I'm actually doing it, and I'm like fine, I'm passing fine at it, but this isn't like changing lives anyway. So it's like every single time it was so hard and no joke. It would be like three different people like hey where do

Right, Those are situations where there isn't a green room. You're just like people that come in that assume you work there because you're standing there pacing around.

Yeah.

Your friends who are there to quote unquote support you.

Yeah, are drag down.

I would prefer none of my friends and family come to my shows if that's the case, Like, please leave me alone.

On the promo for anything, there's an asterisk at the bottom and it says strangers only for me.

I do not. I've never want.

I've never understood when someone packs the room this is our first time, and then everyone from their office is screaming.

And I'm like oh, And then usually you watch all these people with all this hope.

Watch their friends struggle, yeah, and make it's the most dangerous situation and put yourself in. I just got to the point where I don't worry about it when I'm back home and Missulin and my dad and all my friends are going to be in the room listening.

It took a decade and a half for that to stop bothering me.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's fine if like friends and stuff will come to the show, but don't. Yeah, don't text or ask me anything day of the show that you can either google or ask somebody else or don't text me, like an hour before the show. Hey, I actually can't come. I don't care.

Yeah, yeah, I'm so sorry. They keep apologizing. It's like, all you have to do is stop texting me.

Yeah.

Can I tell you guys when I started. So, I started stand up in Sacramento, and I truly did it, I think like three or four times, and was then immediately in a contest. And at the same time that I started, I was going to the j C because I flunked out of sack State, which is not easy to do, and I was going to the j C

It was.

It was so embarrassing and so crazy, and it was just like it was so it was just one of those things too where you can't when I get nervous or anxious, it all becomes about control where it's like nope, you stop doing that, you can't do that or whatever. And it was like the most out of control situation that I didn't ask. I did not invite them, like they found out it was happening. It was it's making me nervous just thinking about it.

Yeah, yeah, I'm the same way.

But then all of a sudden, like a Ray talked about this, but being thrust on stage during the daytime between bands and there's kids, and I had to do that recently.

I'm like, oh, I have zero control here.

This is complete chaos, and it made me default back to my defense mechanism, ability to make people.

Laugh to survive.

Like it's how I used to get out of people punching me in the face when I was a kid. Like I'm like, oh, I have to make these people like me, And then afterwards I felt like young. I felt like going on a run. It was like an exhilarating feeling. So it's good to get out of that comfort zone. But I never will choose to. I want, yeah, so much control. Yeah, so I hope. And at a festival it's it's always there's so much fun going on outside the shows.

You probably don't have to worry about that.

Yeah, but I will say it's like for me, I like a festival, but it also I'm not an extrovert, so it can be way too much. Yeah, so I have to figure out when to leave the party, right, you know. I have to like show up, show face long enough that people know that I was there, and then quietly leave somehow before someone's like, hey, you're leaving. And I just have to like Irish goodbye every.

Yeah, yeah, always. I think it's okay to do that.

I don't think there's anything wrong with Irish goodbyeing. I don't understand why people treat it like it's something where it's just like, oh, I'm sorry, did you expect me to walk around and like kiss everyone goodbye?

What do you want?

Like? What are you talking about? I'll talk to you tomorrow, Like this is at the end. We'll be fine.

Yeah, that is one of my actually, my biggest regret in my career is that I don't leave the party early. I am there, the last one there, and I'm back flipping into a dumpster and I'm all of a sudden just hanging out with people that I don't even remember their names, and I'm like, let's keep going. I'd like, because we don't get to go to parties anymore. I mean, yeah, but there is a part of me that still wants to be in my twenties. That's what comedy festivals provide

Like, okay, I'll be jumping in the dumpster.

Yeah exactly, We're sponsored by a pot company. Hey, everybody, come collect your joints.

I was like, okay, I don't usually smoke these? Should I have three?

Yeah? Fighting a security guard? Now, what's happening?

I did?

I just recently like a tiny pack of cigarettes. I was given at a comedy show a dozen joints pre roll joints, and I'm like, well, they're so little and it's so well packaged. And I had one before golfing and I'm like, I'm I'm a danger. I don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm like, I still get in my head too much. I can't No, no, yeah, I don't want to get used to it.

Don't make me do weed.

We won't. Chris, I mean you started stand up in Chicago.

Technically, yes, I started in Chicago, but I consider San Francisco like my home. Me too, that comedy scene.

That's what I did because I start I only did an in Sacramento for a handful of times and then moved to the city.

M yeah, yeah, that's basically what happened.

Now was was the punchline your home your home club? Yes, that's my home. Look nice?

Is that where you did your last album?

My first last album, your daybut album.

It's My daybut album Wow.

That is Yeah. I recorded my album there two years ago, My Day.

Butt your debut. Yeah.

I think a lot of people, a lot of people have recorded their daybut albums.

Such a good room. They really they set it up perfectly. Yeah, it's uh. Did you guys both make jokes about the skyline picture behind you?

First?

I did half? I did not.

I always I never.

Have, will you not?

Are you against it? I just feel like people have done it, so I'm like.

Not not my Lombard Street. Uh, it's not that curvy, I always say, and then and then I and I quite tower. Yeah, I thought it was. That's more like the Tower pizza because it's kind of crooked. I have a bunch of Chris.

You're making this up.

I am, I know, I am, but I I can't not, especially at all. The heliums have that too, like a caricature painting of the city, and I have to say that's not what the thing looks like, because the crowd will go, oh, they made a joke about our city. Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's all you're gonna get because of the mural. I didn't open up. I didn't crack a newspaper before I got here.

Oh god, So how long were you in the city before you came to Did you then move to Los Angeles to the old Yeah?

So I moved to San Francisco technically Berkeley in two thy twelve, and then I think I left like twenty end of like twenty eighteen.

Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Nice, that's a good solid amount of times to be doing six years. Yeah, that's great.

What's schools in Berkeley? I'm going to reveal I don't know. Berkeley.

That's the one I went to. Is Berkeley?

Right? Right?

Oh you went there? My dad would be very proud of That's a good school, right, he really loves it.

What did you study?

I mean, it is a good school. I wanted to go to Stanford, and I will say this every time, still better they didn't take me.

Stanford's tough, though, don't you have to have like a five point seven gpa and like your parents have to both be the governor of California and stuff is so intense.

Yeah, or just like the smartest person ever, yeah right or something.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I was bummed.

I think I yeah, my parents wanted to lower my expectations for I was getting. They were getting the University of Montana sweatshirts and everything. When I was a young boy, I knew that's where I was going to go, right down the street. Otherwise I totally could have gone to Berkeley or Stanford.

You could have you just focused on a different thing. But Berkeley is an amazing Berkeley's an amazing school. I mean that's like, that's that's no, it's no slouch. Iving.

I mean I kind of checked out by the my senior year. I was like, I want to do comedy. I don't care anymore.

Oh did you decide during Yeah? Yeah, I kind of.

I started doing improve and stuff at the end of college and I'm like, wait a minute, I think I like this, I'm not going to be an art history professor. That's like what my all my study. What were you studying?

Yeah, so I majored in Asian American and Asian diaspora studies, and most people like become academics, like professors or whatever, and I didn't want to do that.

Did you say diaspora?

The diaspora, I don't know what that is. It's like when you move from like one place to another place. Oh, it's like the diaspora. So there's like Asian people that are like not in Asia, you know.

Oh, okay, isn't that funny that I've lived my whole life? And I swear if that word has been used around me, I was looking down at my shoes or something.

I feel like it's a very college word.

And I don't even know.

If I described it well enough, I'm sure I'll get a lot of angry emails that's like, that's not what it is like again, I checked out, Yeah.

I must repeat. I was doing sets at this point, Yeah, yeah, I.

Was doing comedy, all right.

Yeah.

There are words that are just for college and they never happen again, words like algebra or syllabus. Like I remember when someone first used the phrase syllabus. I had never heard that word, and I laughed at it because it sounded like an STD and then you never hear the word syllabus again once you graduate.

It's like, that's just.

A college word. I hate college words, toy do.

I feel like the quintessential college word is like heteronormative. That's such a college word.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's that's a good that's a new a newbie, but a goodie.

So what what was the thing or was there one thing at that time that made you realize stand up was a thing you wanted to try? Like did you see somebody do it? Or like had you always secretly wanted to?

And no, I didn't know, uh what comedy was like when I was a kid. I loved cartoons, but I always thought like I was gonna be a doctor or a scientist or like all of my family like went to med school or kind of did stuff that was like in that realm. And uh, long story short, I was number one a huge fan of Allen So she you know, started by doing stand up. So that's kind of how I do start doing stand up. And also a girl told me it was funny, and I was like, Okay, I guess we'll be a comedian.

Here we go.

Yeah, yeah, it's funny.

I think it is other kids telling that's what it was for me, other kids saying you should be a comedian.

I'm like, oh, that's not a job or whatever.

But if you keep hearing it from kids, they I just want to say thank you to everyone I went to grammar school with.

Yeah, yeah, thanks to that one girl that I had a crush on that said I was funny.

Otherwise I wouldn't be here, right. Yeah, you're like, hey, wait a second, she's got a point.

Yeah, I do think you're kind.

Of doing it for her, even though it's years.

Yeah, yeah, oh, I know. It's like we don't even talk anymore. But it was like I was like trying to press that one girl.

Yeah, I don't.

There are a handful of people that are I rotate between them all. That's the reason that I started doing stand up or someone inspiring me, and I don't think any of them know that they are that person to me.

Maybe I shoul write some thank you letters.

You should, you know, the main I think because actually, I well, I wanted to be a stand up because I because like right when I was you know, ten eleven twelve is when they started airing evening at the improv like on you know on Sundays where it would just be like, you know, twelve different people doing sets or whatever, and I was like, oh, I wanted that, so I want to do that, and I would just

Yeah, yeah, I just realizing there was a camp counselor or a volunteer at some religious camp I went to in Estes Park, Colorado, and he had like a letterman jacket with comic relief logo on the back.

And I remember like.

How'd you get that jacket? He's like, oh, I'm a comedian. I have no idea who he was, but he had whatever Arlen Williams, Yeah, he got some free schwag. But yeah, that is one of the people. I'm like, oh my god, I just have to get out of Montana. That's the first thing. But yeah, I have no.

Idea who that was. He's probably it could have been Steve Middleman. I don't know. It may have been.

Actually, it could have been Gary mule Deer. I mean, when you first decided you were going to do it and you went in, did you do open mics in the city?

Did you start in Berkeley? No, so I started in Chicago. I oh when I very first started. Yeah, I was in high school and I took like a stand up class at the second city.

Oh wow.

And it was like it was like literally me and two other people and we would just tell jokes to each other in like the classrooms really weird, and it.

Cost eight hundred dollars.

I mean at least three, you know, it was.

Do you remember when your first your first joke was or the assignment?

I remember mine.

I do not remember any of the first jokes I told for the assignments, but I do remember. It didn't really click with me in that class. Like I think we had like little writing exercise or whatever, but just the way it was taught like didn't work for me. So then I kind of was like, I don't really get stand up. So then I kind of started doing improv for a while, and then I went back to do stand up and then I kind of got it more.

Yeah it's hard. Yeah, I had that same trajectory. Yeah that's so. Yeah, Well that.

Makes sense actually, because improv like it's almost like everything's everything is accepted right if you're within the rules and

Yeah, and you're like, oh god, this is very bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mine was a similar that guy Matt Sadler that I said worked at your.

Venue where you have a show in about an hour.

Just a reminder, let's keep this podcast is going to be riddled with the schedule updates for you.

I but he it was one.

It was an improv festival in Austin, and I went with my Montana group and one of the clinics there was here's a stand up clinic. It was like a one hour thing like for fun, and I decided in that class of three people like maybe I'll move here. I've never had even been to a city with a stand up scene. That's what made it real. And so when I moved. That's why I know exactly where your venue is. When I moved to Austin, I because he said, yeah, if you move here, just look me up at this

I guess that's kind of true.

And so in a way, I went to the Velvet Room. You write down the street, you're gonna want to take a let. It's where your show is Sunday. It's kind of the main drag. Bring a friend. That area has gotten kind of sketchy. That's just a side thing. But yeah, you're you're performing where I first did stand up and I love that room.

I think you'll really have fun there. It's a great.

Oh that's amazing.

Yeah, you're gonna love it.

I hope I meet this man that you keep bringing. Oh my god, could you imagine I would be like Chris Bairbanks and he's gonna be mag who's that?

Uh Like, don't mention that name around here? We can't not during Moontower, not ring Moontower.

Yeah yeah, yeah, it's weird way to realize I've been blacklisted.

Yep.

Yeah, he might be around. I think Matt still does stand up. Yeah, you might see him.

I can't wait.

My eyes peeled.

Yeah, just keep your eyelids. Cut your eyelids off your face.

That's really funny though, that advice because the first contest I was in two contests, and one was a smaller one before the bigger one than I was talking about earlier. And the first one I was was just like at the it was basically an open mic that I went to. But then they were like, Okay, well now we're gonna pick the best one or whatever. And so there was Andy Kindler and then the Andy Killer was the middler that week at the club Downtown, and the headliner whose

I need that. Actually nobody ever told me that.

But it's kind of what that guld. It's basically it's essentially I think it's arguable the numbers in between, but it's basically he's saying, take your best joke and put it at the end, take your second best joke, put it at the beginning, and then basically within their order so that you have weak.

Stuff and recovery, don't go.

Into week stuff early. Like now I understand it. At the time, I was like, what a heck, Like I wanted to judge it for it where I was like, he's helping you so much, But he basically was like saying like start strong, yeah, and then get like if you have to get weak, get weak in the middle so that you've already built up a little good will, and then end strong again.

Yeah.

Essentially so they don't remember you as having been pretty good as opposed to just kind of like start strong, peter out, leave crying.

No, that is still what I do, but I cry in the middle and recover at the end.

I will say I absolutely did not do that for my album recording, would you do? I started fine, and then I think the best stuff is at the end of the album.

I think that that that's okay to ramp up like that.

Sure, yeah, yeah it was. It's like a roller coaster, you know. I think actually I do think it peaks like halfway through the album is my favorite joke, and then like at the end, there's like a bunch of jokes that I like, but the first like maybe four or five tracks, they're fine in my opinion.

Like where on that album favorite do you do? You have your Uh?

If I were a cannibal, newborn babies would be the most delicious meat.

I'm butchering the joke.

Yeah, you have the best baby eating joke that I know in the business.

Is that on?

It is on the album and it's right before the very last track.

I yeah, I loved watching you because we did a few shows together in Portland. It was fun to watch the because maybe at the time that was a newer joke for you, and it was like, yeah, it's.

I mean, compared to like the rest of my album, it is quite like a new joke.

Yeah yeah, but I watched it progress and the audience like, because if you talk about eating human babies, some people they're just trained to not listen to the joke part.

They're like, oh, I don't like those words together.

But then by the last night killing you were killing killing those babies.

Do you have cannibalizing babies on your setlist for tonight?

Yeah?

Yes, Yeah, that's that's my j and I do feel like it's the joke that if I tell it, audience members remember the.

Most I can. And I could tell that you were enjoying telling that joke, because that's a joke where for a minute you kind of lose the audience and you know that that's happening, and you know that you're looking forward to a minute later when you those lines bring you recovery, and then they like it. It's kind of fun to play with that moment and even milk that moment, like, let's see how long I can let them not like me so I can recover after this.

I kind of like that.

Yeah, that's it's like kind of my style. Of comedy, or what I prefer is kind of losing the audience for a bit to see if I can get them back.

Yeah, and that's fine. You know.

I'm like, I don't need you to laugh the entire time. I want you to be uncomfortable for a bit.

Yeah, you do have a few of those moments.

But I also think when you do stuff like that, it's because and I could I think that this attitude is incorrect for overall success and stand up comedy, So don't listen to me. But I do like that, And maybe it's being a female comic you have. I always had that thing of like I have to prove early on I am fine and I'm in charge, or they'll fucking like show no weakness, right you kind of they don't trust you automatically, they're worried for you, which means

Yeah.

Yeah, and it's you think that it's I was gonna say, my reaction was going to be like, well, that's just how it was in the nineties. But you can go to many different parts of the country and it's still the nineties as far as that audience is, like they they're still like think that they're gonna heckle you or get attacked, or that it's or the contest that we were talking about competitions.

I'm so glad that's kind of over.

There's yes, there's no more stand up competitions anymore.

It's not like.

A vibrato a confidence contest. I like where stand up has gone and is right now.

It's pretty gigory.

Also, I feel like with contests, it's like a certain style of comedy will always tend to do better. Yeh yeah, contests, Yes, you know what I mean. Yes, it's like I'm never gonna win a contest because I like to like kind of fuck with the audience, and they don't like that to vote for, right, you know, yeah, They're like, no, I want the guy who was like, you know, funny and likable the whole time or whatever, right, yeah.

Or the guy that one contest I was talking about. The guy that won was chocking. It was it was nineteen eighty nine, I think or nineteen ninety, so he was talking about the war and how great it was and let's hear for our troops and this he had a whole bit at the end that absolutely was like jingoistic and just playing on those heartstrings and like support our troops. So then he won, and everybody else is like,

Was it? John Morgan the Rage in Cajun No All.

I remember he had a very fancy silk suit on and he just kind of it was just kind of like he was talking to the people. It was Citrus Heights, California. He knew that audience and he knew what was kind of like going to get the applause going and stuff, whereas I was literally up there like singing like Annie and like how come I didn't win? We're just like no one needs your bullshit lady.

So oh god, I don't miss there.

Yeah, And I'll talk about him because I he was mean. There was a guy that used to come to Capsity every year and he had just won a lottery. So he had a lot of money because he had somehow won the lottery.

Whoa And do you know how much money?

I think it was millions and I think maybe his wife even won it. And and Martha, oh my god, Martha Kelly was featuring and she had and this was you know, early two thousands. She had an act and a demeanor that was easy for a Texas audience to like, she's not confident, she's not in control, and they kind of turned on her. And then he went up and he's had He's like, let's everyone just take take our hands and wipe the ar brow and know that that

And if you're listening right now, I stand right well, it's.

Like it was so mean because he kind of showed his colors. Because it's like, if you were a good comic, you would just start your act and that would make people, you know what I mean. It's just like, if somebody has a bad set before you for whatever reason, it's your job as the comic to just kind of like be the next thing. You don't have to like directly shit on people.

He did for a while. Now, Yeah, I'll never forgive him. I'm still mad. That wasn't a contest, But I think, yeah, those you don't see those guys much anymore, those angry old national anthem singers.

I've never seen that at a show. And you guys are both like, yeah, they sang the national anthem after I'm like, this is insane.

I've never heard of this. It's like pre Internet, you know, it's rough. It was tough out there, those those kinds of like well because also like now I feel like people have all seen great comedy for a sustained amount of time. So the people who rose up were like the people who didn't win those contests, but they made it to LA and then started like actually getting jobs, yeah, and were innovators and stuff. You know. That's that's the whole thing of like road comics versus like comments that

That's why I think. I mean, do you like this whole roast thing?

I like that kind of I don't ever want to roast anyone.

I well, I don't want to participate in a roast really because first of all, it's a lot of homework for.

Jo it's all burnt yeah this second, yeah, I'm like it's over.

It's like, Okay, I'm making fun of one person who I'm never going to make fun of again, and I'm spending time I'm not getting paid.

What is the point? Like that's dumb?

Yeah, yeah, it's mostly honestly for me, it's that I can like watch a roast and I'm like, okay, like I get it, but it's not It's definitely not my favorite type of comments.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe I'm on the fence about it because I do like writing mean jokes.

But well, the thing is to be in a roast or for most of them, like roast battlely type stuff. Then you have to get roasted. And that's my thing where I'm like, oh, I've I've lived my whole life to not have to hear what people actually think of me and then have that made into like extrapolaid it out into jokes that an entire audience can enjoy like that, it would haunt me for the rest of my life. I was ever in a roast battle, be horrible.

Yeah, I think that I just don't like that there's a winner and it might not be me. I went my whole life doing solo things, skateboarding and all that, and I didn't realize that I am very competitive and I but I just didn't like team sports. But I get really I would get really emotional during those contests and think terrible things, and yeah, I'm I just got to stay away from them.

Irene, is there anyone you're excited to see yourself at Moontower this year?

Yeah? Who's there?

Didn't look at the schedule?

It's okay, I'm forwarding it to you. Yeah, yeah, I got I got the whole line up here, you're I.

Mean, it's it's incredible. I even made it on the correct flight, do you know what I'm saying?

No, I didn't.

I didn't check the schedule yet because I was like, oh, I'm gonna fly in, I'm gonna do my one show. I'm not really going to do that much today. Yeah, so I was going to kind of check out more shows like tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday. I caught it, so I just haven't I haven't checked yet.

Yeah.

Just enjoy this city.

You're in a fun part of the city and you're gonna I would just walk around. I love Austin. I miss it.

But uh, you'll have to tell me if there's any good thrift stores.

Oh yeah, there, I can help you with that.

Yeah, I texted to me after you send me my schedule.

Okay, well I will.

I have a whole packet of things. Also, I have your lanyard here. Yeah, and you're gonna walk. I do have to go get that drink tickets, drink tickets and risk band.

You do.

Oh, I can't believe I have to ship this overnight.

Wait. I just had the best idea. But I think it's only for I think it's for a very specific group of people. But what if we invented a clickable top water bottle that you use all the time, that always works, that always clicks, that like it's not really doesn't have water in it. You can just take it almost like a fidget spin and that's your clicker. But it's it's your clicker that you just bring everywhere all the time. It's like, oh, that would be really comforting. You can have it, It's.

True you don't. You maybe can't even put water in it. It's just disguised like a barbasol safe.

Yes, exactly, a shaving cream safe.

You can put your schedule inside. Oh, the top is just a clicker.

That was an interesting the festival and boys that they they had no You had to buy a stainless steel cup and every I noticed everyone had it on a holster on their hip. And so at the end of the day there was no garbage on the ground. There was no cups being dispersed. You had to buy a cup and then people would get their drinks in. You didn't want to lose your cup otherwise you had to buy a new one, and so there was no trash.

I don't say that much.

I just want that makes me think of it. Bridgetown Irene shred Bridgetown back when it exists.

Yeah, I did it the very last year. Oh cool, it existed.

Wait a second, maybe that was the first time I met you in passing one time, like on a sidewalk very briefly.

I wasn't sure if we had met actually, so I couldn't remember.

I just remember being introduced to you, and you were very It was just you were just almost like kind of like it's like, okay, this.

Is cool, which also mean that's why.

It's also that side of Irene where I'm like, she she'll she'll be cool if we have to go hide this duffel bag, yes she will, or sorry we have to pick up.

A duffel bag and hide it.

Done.

I kept forgetting which job I'm doing tonight.

Please yeah, please keep drugs.

It's called being cool. That's Irene is cool in a classic way.

Oh well, thank you. Yeah.

I didn't remember if we had met, because if we had, I was like, oh, it's probably really brief because I know we hadn't had like a full conce.

No, we've never we've never even said like, hey, how were your like the idea that you actually started somewhere but then really your home places. Sanrancis goes like me too, but uh, it just made me think. So it could have been that last year of Bridgetown, which was such a fun year too, Chris, I think you're yeah.

Oh, I think that the year I met Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that could have been it.

But it made me think of that that one theater that everything kind of was centered in, and they're the upstairs where there was a pool table. They kept putting pizzas out on pizzas and dances, and every time I would put there was water obviously everywhere, And every time I put my water bottle down, I would turn around and then there would be like fifty two water bottles and I'd be like, oh shit, which one's fine? And

They should have had like markers to label them.

Yeah. Yeah, everyone has a little marker in a holster. I just want everyone to have a utility belt.

Too hippy for me. I don't want to just.

Be yeah, yeah, there, it doesn't it's not good for the silhouette, right.

I will say at Bridgetown that was one of the worst bombs I've ever had for me and multiple comics. There was a Bay Area showcase where it was like comics that used to live in the Bay or lived in the Bay whatever at one of the Bridgetown shows and literally we all bombed so hard, like not a single laugh. I'll bring it up to like like I'd be like, hey, remember that time we bombed a Bridgetown and like they'll be like, oh my god, like how.

Could I forget?

Where was that VFW was?

It was not a VFW.

I think it was like a bar, like a bar show, but but everyone bombed except Brent Weinbach murdered.

Yes, Oh wow. Do you feel comfortable naming other people who bomb?

Yeah? Bomb?

Who? I mean, that's the fun part.

Bomb the hardest name we all well, I think we all just bombed.

It was me, Andre Rolfo, j R. De Guzman and maybe I think there was one other comic and I can't remember who it was, but I just remember I'd like talk to JR. And Andrew about it and just just ate it so hard. Like anytime we'll be like, hey that one time, they're like, oh god, you know, it's just like PTSD Wait a.

Second, was it in that bar? That had neon like black light paint on the walls.

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

That. I remember there was a show where people it was it was kind of during the day and people came out and they were just like, oh my god, what just happened. And I don't think it was yours. I think it was another done.

I think ours was.

In the evening, but I don't remember the room.

You're talking about it.

We all have our desired setup, a short, normal stage, low ceiling, ideally to be in a corner, and then the room fans out to the audience who's in an elevated theater setting. But that room was just a pit, like a sunken bedroom, like a pit, so you're down lower than everyone and everyone was just looking down at you on the ground floor, and there's like a cat walk around. It was more like a dog fight situation, like where you would hold or chicken whatever kind of fights you go to.

Chickens or dogs usually is what I end up at.

But that's yeah, it's not good for comedymedy.

Yeah that was.

Yeah, that was It was net part of the theater, like there was a big, big room and then the side room was the neon room, and it was just everyone came out yeah, white as a ghost.

People suffered. People suffered in that room. Also that I feel like that year. I think that was the year that Gallagher showed up. Yeah, and he was on Andy and Matt's Probably Science podcast and he immediately started saying offensive things on purpose, and the audience is like, oh, and then it just kind of kept going and then we were like, oh, this is just a crazy old guy now.

An angry guy that had seventeen HBO specials where he used to joyfully jump on a trampoline couch and now he will just list all the different races that are a problem or you know, like he's really it's.

Sad that it was sad, and also that it almost was like kind of a early warning of that thing what was happening to people where it's just like, oh, you've been left alone with your like the bad websites too long, that kind of like, oh, you know how it is with these fill in the blank of it pretty much anybody besides a white man like that crazy thing where and he's a comedy festival where the average ages thirty five, where it's like, who are you talking? To right now like it was rough.

I think he felt because I did try to calmly talk to him and let acknowledge that I remember who he was and that I watched all his specials, and.

Then he was like he was it was the problem.

I think he thought everyone he was there as a joke and everyone was there to shit on him and turn on like he thought that he was a punchline because he kind of became one because he was.

Being a dick to everyone.

Yeah.

But the most symbolic thing about him being.

There is he had a hat that had what his hair used to look like attached to the brim of it, and they put it over his patchy, existing gollum like hair.

Wait, did he was it for a joke?

No?

No, he had like a pay hat, yeah, a two pay hat.

Yeah. It was just yeah, just to have for the old looks. And I just.

Remember that thing happened in that neon room also, so it was I was like, well, I hope I never have said.

Yeah, that room you're scarred by just velvet paintings for life now and any kind of black light.

Yeah.

I don't think I went to the neon room.

It was all I had one of those rooms where you're like, oh, I didn't know my clothing was riddled with I hope toothpaste. Yeah, oh god, why is it right up front?

Yeah?

I think that Also that year people say Andy Dick running from the cops. There was a lot of like famous people. Everyone was acting crazy. I think maybe it was a full moon.

I was jumping into dumpsters.

Yes, it was a fun, dramatic year that.

We're just describing. Fun.

True. I mean I want to I really wish that you had already done like three days of this festival so you can be telling us festival gossip right now or something like somebody did a thing. Would you mind like writing stuff down after? I would?

I mean I am usually the last to know any festival gossip because I'm so boring and like a square and I'm I don't drink, so it's like, oh, I don't get the fun like drunk stuff. But if I hear any festival gossip, oh, I will be writing it down and sending it okay please?

Yeah, Because I mean since Quarantine, it's just been so dry with any truly, it's like anything at all. It's just like does anything happen anymore?

Just give us something, make something up. Also, you're not boring. I remember I said you're cool.

Oh I know, you know I'm trying to make boring cool.

Yeah okay, I got try and merge those words.

Yeah yeah, I mean so when I when I describe myself as bold, I'm not saying it is as a bad thing.

I think it's cool. I'm trying to turn it around. I'm turning it around the person that leaves first and is kind of like, well, have fun, you guys. That really is the coolest move you can make, where it's just like, yeah, I don't need any of this.

Oh yeah, it brings me so much joy. I'm like, I don't need any of this validation that people are seeking. I'm going to go back to my room and do what I want.

To say, like later Nerds, and then you take off and go into the bathroom like Phonsie and wait it out alone.

Comb your hair, just moisturize, you know, do my whole bedtime routine. I'm trying to look young. I'm trying to stay young.

Yes, yeah, okay, not to drastically change the subject as we near the.

End, what moisturizer do you use?

But let's just everyone whatever, what I just use the hotels?

Why why was why why was he always in the bathroom? Why was Phonsie why was that his office?

Was that a joke?

Uh no, not just wear the mirror where he'd comb his hair and he'd have meetings you know.

Oh yeah, he'd bring people in there and they'd chat shed out by the toilet.

Yeah, because you couldn't do it in a booth. There's no rules.

Private it's private time. That's why.

That's right.

I don't know, he's he made a He made the toilet cool though, And that's what Irene's doing with being with being boring.

That's what I reins doing with the lotion that you get from the hotel, which is so hilarious, Like I'm gonna do my routine and then it's like, what moistureser do you use? You know? Whatever's there that fucking weird little thing of like the moisturizer that somehow is dry as you're putting it on, Like.

Oh, yeah, you gotta watch where you put it.

Got it?

Oh there it is, Yeah, that'll leave it.

Oh no, I'm holding it up to the camera.

That's good.

This is this is the lotion that came with the room.

Is it pretty good?

That seems like a good brand, that seems there I've never heard of the ingredients are on it.

You'll know tonight. Yeah, as you watch it.

I feel like in most nice hotels have pretty good lotion decent.

A lot of them don't anymore, and I think that's because filthy men use it to mastrobate, not to bring This isn't a dirty podcast, and it's not usually something Karen and I talk about, but I have I suspect that is why, because sometimes I need lotion and it's not in the room to masturbate with, and it's not in the room anymore.

They've quit giving it.

They're like, oh, there's two shampoos, there's a place to put the lotion, but they just add extra shampoo.

And I'm not going to make that mistake twice.

If that's what you're going to be abusing this lotion with, and we will.

Then you shampoo, you shampoo, use.

Up moisturizing shampoo. That'll work. Yeah, that'll wait, that'll be fine. I just remember there's been times where going on the road and being like I want to make this bag. I want to make as much room as possible in this bag, and so I'll go, Oh, the hotel will provide. And then so I will always let the hotel provide my shampoo, because that's just like and it's gone. But

No, you're right, the soap's fine, but from there, at the softening of your tarsues, that's on you. We gotta take We're grown ups, we gotta take that shit seriously.

Really, I mean, you're correct, I should be using priceier lotion and stuff, but I'm Asian, so I'm riding this out. You simply don't have to. Yeah, and you know should don't raise it or whatever.

Wait, did you just make that up?

No, that's a thing.

Somebody said that before.

Well, I mean, I'm not saying I like it, but if you just came up with it right in that moment.

No, that's definitely somebody's joke.

Well, you have to go, you're you have a concert in about an hour.

I love that we put all of our all of our festival wishes and wants on Irene were just like I remember a time. Yeah for being a guest on our podcast today. Yeah, a great time at Moontower. Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah, I hope I don't bomb again.

Like you know, you're gonna be just it's gonna be so fun because it's been years since anyone's truly been to a festival like that one. That's a big one, and you're gonna have so much fun. I don't even need to tell you. Even if you want to go home early, you're still gonna have fun.

Which I will, but don't not super early, like you know, hang out for seven minutes so you can take a cu couple notes for us.

Oh yeah, of course, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna hang out for like thirty minutes to an hour and then I like it.

That's it. That's the way to do it. Yep.

Well have fun on my behalf.

Say hi to Austin, and if you run into Matt Sadler, tell him thanks for making me start.

Your whole career. Yeah, I'm gonna be like, thank every Christopher Banks says, oh wow, thanks for everything.

Like ninety nine to like three, just say thank him for that.

I got it.

From here.

I remember telling him yeah, and then I left skip Town.

Well, yeah, have fun and thanks for being on our show.

Thanks for having me. I love talking with you guys.

It's great. Great to actually get to talk to you.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, we'll have to do it again. Yes, for sure.

You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

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Thank you, quo, You're welcome.

That's what we do.

I do that every time Irene like and I'm a grown up and I make that sound