S3 - Ep. 16 - Karen, Chris, and Blossom

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gay.

We want to send you off InStyle.

We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Malcorn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

To ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgariff.

Hello, Karen, just you and me? Huh hello? Hello?

Hello?

How do I sound? I sound? Can you hear the moody blues in the background, Chris?

Your recording from the seventies today? That's cool?

Yeah, yeah, I just just for the memories. No, I my neighbor, Well, he's not a neighbor here is It's an abandoned house. Oh, and has been for the whole time I've lived here. It's just a haunted house from.

The east side. That's valuable profit.

I'm telling you, my Yes, I am across the street from me is Angelina Heights. The historic neighborhood that boasts the most Victorian homes and has hitching posts for old bankers to ride home and on their horses from downtown when it was just this was a financial city, pre Hollywood. I'm painting a picture home and eat a boiled boot and be mean to their wife. But then upon and then on my street, it's old apartments that are kind of run down, which is why it was affordable. But

I don't know, though, how's that possible when.

Because he's doing it all by himself and he has lights on at night tarps. I think he's just reinforcing the foundation, replacing some of the wood. But it's slow work he is, and at night when I walk by, there's the unmistakable smell of crack being smoked, so it's like leisure. There's no I'm saying, he doesn't have a boss.

Yeah, you know his boss is Crack. Yeah, he has a boss, and it's a merciless and an unyielding boss.

More like a mind lord trying trying to get out early on your lease. With that relationship.

The idea that somebody would be renovating a house from the foundation up on crack yeah, is if this guy achieves anything at all, we should go and throw him aparty.

Cras doesn't give you your deposit back? What have I kept doing? I'm sorry, Uh yeah, no, he does get and I've started like forcefully saying like how's it going, and he's like pretty good, starting to get some work done. Like he he's there early in the morning too, with his shirt off with a wheelbarrow.

But one night the wheelbarrow was empty.

Yeah, he's on and he's talking to an invisible animal inside. You're a big cute little bear, aren't you. But one night his there was just a car back there, pinned to the fence. On the other side of the fence. Is these folks that all live together and they're they're like bodybuilder, personal trainer guys with money. So that house is nice. There's just these two scary haunted houses. But their car was pinned against their fence and they were clearly drunk, and I'm like, what's going on? Do you

Is it the only songs I can think of are Knights and White Satin?

You got your Knights and White Satin, you got your other one.

There's one other one.

Letters I've written, ever meaning to send, You've got That's the.

Same thing, more lyrics.

Yeah, I there. I for a little while was into the Moody Blues, but I can't think it's been long enough to where I can't remember any any of their songs right now.

I mean, look, Knights of White Satin is seven minutes long and an epic tale of I don't know whatever it's about. So that does kind of like, you know, if you don't have a ton of hits, at least your one hit is this journey.

You know, letters I've written, never meaning to send because I love is that the one where it's yes, sid.

Bringing the strings full? But you know what, it's good like this of two people acapella singing in and on a podcast. Imagine the real recording when you're on crack right, Oh my.

God, just whistle whistling along to an empty wheelbarrel. I just I it's so funny that I can't. It's it's good that we can't remember any but I I just my back starts to sweat because I know when people are relaxed listening to a podcast, that's all they're doing. It's hard to think of things while you're thinking of things and recording, it's hard to do you. People are yelling moody blues songs all across America, and.

Challenge all of America to yell one other time.

Someone in Germany right now in German screaming five different moody blues songs.

Being oh wait, speaking of which, have you seen that reporter that that six languages?

I was blown away, and also I watched it over and over. They were all spoken so casually. Was he just waiting for the day where it's like this is an emergency? All the other affiliates have shut down. The Al Jazeera in all these countries have shut down. What are we gonna do? He's like, well, I'll do it. I can speak all the languages. Does that help?

Can I step in? I also look like a doctor from the sixties? Would that be calming? In this basically lead up to actual war.

I knew you were going to say you were sexually attracted to him.

Because Chris and don't act like I say that all the time. But that man was handling terrible news. It's he created a distraction from what he was actually talking about himself, and which is horrible news.

And he was a handsome guy, well put together. Knew what he was doing. And he's working around the clock. Every other language, the sun was coming up or it was going down. The first one sun's out, twelve languages later, the sun is down. He's just on the German now.

And also the accents like not that I would know the difference, except for I've just heard people speak those languages generally, and the accents and the the like. You're right, there was a casual air of like confidence and geniusness. Obviously. I believe it's called being a polydact when you can speak multiple languages, which there's facets of your brain that are more open than the average Spanish.

And then Portuguese. Yeah, and I even I because I had a Portuguese speaking Spanish teacher in college and I never knew the difference. But I have been presented with it on a daily basis one time half my life ago, and you can say you can and forgot all of it. Fucking yeah, I remember my little patos are moi banita that means I have pretty shoes, and I like to rag about it. But I could tell that. I mean, he's perfect accents between those two and just.

And also is it was like you knew that if he misspoke because he wasn't. He was clearly on location, right, So he's just staring into a handheld camera. There's no teleprompter, he didn't write. He was by from memory reporting that news.

Even if there was even if he did write it out that you know that a long hand. Yeah, I mean I'm sure there was some. I've The point is, I've been on location and made do with a with an iPhone teleprompter. We all got our tricks in the business. I've done broadcast journalism. You know that about me? Sure, yeah, broadcast ural. But if you haven't seen it, it's just type into your computer. News guy does six different x.

It's not just the it was just.

He oh he put on a hat or a mustache. She really added flair to each character.

I am always really obsessed though, with people, whether it's a man or a woman that look like that, because truly, he has the most low key, classic good looks of a It's just like when a female reporter if she just had like a little blonde bob and was and just kind of had like a barbie face. We were like, what is it like to be like a catalog model your whole life? Not a not an editorial model, not a Vogue cover model, but like a catalog level model.

Yeah, that's that's a haircut. They forced her to have the news I it seems like and I'm just saying this because I just watched The Morning Show, which is very good.

Oh you liked it?

Oh, I love it. Jennifer Aniston's like a super good actor.

One.

Yes, she has told us this, she's amazing in it, but they it's clearly and my sister was in the news for a while and as a producer and just had the ugliest stories about every basically men coming in and changing your story, not even telling you, changing what you wrote, telling you what to wear. It is like it was a perfect industry for them to because that show is about the me too moment that we had right before COVID, Like they go through both those real

True, although these days it feels like commercial acting you can be a real odd ballface and make just as much money as the pretty people.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's kind of what I like about commercials. That's why I go in there and cross my eyes. Well I'm not kidding. That's why I grew this goddamn mustache. You know that set yourself apart, And because the minute I grew it, I booked something, and I kept booking things because I had, yeah, this, Oh you have a classic look. I'm like, yeah, I don't really prefer it for my real life, but man, that H and R

It's one of the best parts of living in Los Angeles, is it. People will people go on Twitter and be like it's starting now, and then you run to your TV. Yeah, And it's a shared experience of it's almost like watching a cop show that's real and it like I think we talked about this on one episode long ago when I lived in Burbank, there was a police chase I watched one night that ended down the street from my house. It was like they came up the freeway, do you

Oh wow.

And they went and they tried to with the police chopper overhead and the light on them. They tried to drive down an alley and go into a garage and the cops were everywhere. It was crazy and it was like watching it. They came up the freeway and took an exit where I'm like, well, that's right by here. Oh that's oh, I can hear the helicopter and then I'm watching my neighborhood on TV.

Yeah. I did that with the triple Doppler coverage of tornadoes in Texas. One time, it's coming up I thirty five and I'm like, oh, that's coming my way and I hid in my bathroom and nothing happened. But people, I think that's a weird part of police chase. People watch and they're like, Oh, I hope the criminal drives by my house. Let's go out and wave ToJ Simpson family.

That does happen sometimes, Like I've seen it where people go out and they they just kind of jump up and down and like cheer for the escapee.

Like they're in the background of a video game. Yesay, hooray, hooray grand theft auto. That's why I have my pixelated flag.

Yeah, or I haven't seen a good police chase in a while.

Yeah. They I just love that the newspaper, the newspeople. Yes, the anchor has to like think of interesting things to say, and it's that it's that subtle thing, always blowing a red light here. No, I guess it turned green at the last minute, so that was a lawful Uh. Well, there's really nothing to say. The cops are still behind them, and hopefully something happens to where there's a reason I'm talking like they did.

See sometimes do the thing where they go if there's a little bit of a puzzygo and again, this is a very very dangerous situation. Please do not drive up. Please don't come out of your house. Please again, this is oh and then they all have a reaction if like miss a car that was a shadow is this is dangerous, We're not. This is not entertainment.

This is very dangerous. That was I've spilled coffee on my laptop. I didn't want anyone to be alarmed. That had nothing to do with the Uh, I'm just changing my baby's diaper. The the the chase is still in pursuit. But I just noticed that what's in the diaper? So that was the exclamation I made.

Chris. Look at the face that I just brought into my zoom.

Oh man, what kind of dog is that?

Look at her? That's she's a Someone dropped her off at a night overnight drop off deposit box at a yeah, at a shelter in the desert area.

And I was just in the desert area and there's so many people that have little desert dogs, and yeah, it made me even more. I was hanging out with a Blue Healer and they're very smart. Like, if you're in a my friend had a Blue Healer, he's he's gotten a little older.

Sorry, really quick, we're talking about my dog.

Oh, I know it's gonna say all after listening all the things I love about Blue Healers and like, but yet those things pale in comparison to the dog you're holding currently, to this mutt.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say to this non denominational all dogs mixed into one dog.

Yeah, you go to dog, you're non denominational.

I'm episcopala.

Good my Methodists were allowed to talk.

Oh cool, see you a guitar mass later, like I'm putting her mouth up by the well you got it.

People. They hear in your voice if you're being if you're really selling it masks. Yeah, that dog clearly acts like thank you for saving me, and keeps telling you, well, well you're.

She gets a little stressy if she like she needs to. She goes from eating to peeing, to going on a walk to coming back and being given a treat. So like if I sit in front of the computer for too long, she has to do stuff like this. Yeah, because she just needs wins the night it's all okay.

Yeah, yeah, she needs little stimulants, little rewards.

It's cute and irritating at the same time.

Yeah, when you got that dog, was she like, uh, malnourished or or hairless or have a bad eye or anything.

She they took care of her, so they it was it's a rescue place called Blue Man Dog. And I thought she was old when I saw her pictures, I was like, oh, I'm going to adopt an old gal and give her a break. She's a year old. She just looks on it old. Yeah, and a little janky, right, that's the way I thought about me. They brought her, Yeah, they brought her to health and so she's she's nothing wrong with her. But except for that, she's a little shy.

Yeah.

And so you have to treat dogs like that, like you have to kind of leave them alone when they so when they're first adjusting, they can like, figure out what the hell's going on. They don't get nervous.

Yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, when I started feeding my old cat in front of my house, I thought the cat was ten years old. A foggy like cataract eye, bear, a bear, pink belly, oh yeah, a distended belly, a little ear mites like if you zoom in, like it's like from a Ren and Skimpy cartoon. And then and then all they did is look at his teeth and they're like, oh, this cat's only two. I'm like, oh, and after a few cans of tuna that I went back to its normal working. Yeah, for real tempering. He

Her because he was different now. But he is a big house.

He really is a perfect analogy for what happened to Venice Beach. He just became a rich Santa Monica boat person and turn his back on Dogtown.

Baby, that's the s ux sucks. Wait a second, though, but you took that cat like you got You took him to the bed and got rid of everything and got them all ship shape.

And put him in a in a pillowcase. I looked online. They're like, if you drown, that was the first plan. I filled a barrel with molasses. I was dip that cat in and seal the lid. But then I had second thoughts and took no I looked online. They said, with a cat, a younger cat, or it just said any cat, put him in a in a pillowcase and they will kind of act like they're in the mother's womb or something. Oh, who knows the accreditation of whoever

Ball tornado with stars and hashtags coming out.

Yeah, he just kind of stood still in there, in me out and I brought the cat in a pillowcase to the vet and that It was only then that I realized I had done something strange, because they were like, why why is your cat in a pillowcase? Like I found a website.

That's how you found out that anyone can make a website if they have like nineteen ninety nine and a Go Daddy account. So yeah, this you can't just be believing the first thing that comes up.

No, this was Go Daddy. This is before we all knew about the fake news, Karen, fake news.

I actually are with our old cat. I made a box, like I never thought to buy a crate for the cat, even though obviously you have to take animals to the vet, so you might as well invest because you're going to use it at least, you know, ten or fifteen times. Sure, I made a I punched holes, like, you know, pretty big holes. In a box and then put the cat inside, shut it, and that cat of all tried to shove

Why? A box?

Why?

Why not a store box carrier?

Why am I not good enough?

I well, at the pet store when I had to fly with my cat, of course I didn't want to because I forgot about those cardboard carriers. But my cat was pretty strong and and had been through some shit and I could see easily tearing through any box. So I got the top of the line. Like they it had a warranty, you know, it was like eighty dollars suitcase for cats, but the mesh it had a lot And within ten minutes on that fly and I sedated

You one thousand times.

Have I know, I know, but it we came to it so organically.

No, we did. This is the most natural version of this pass.

Yes, and this is me actually visually reliving it. That leads up to the point I never quite explained in the past. Twelve times I've told it why I opened the carrier. I thought my kittie was going to choke on the mesh hole. Right there you go, And if you want to hear the rest of that story, listen to our back catalog.

Also, I'm positive I've told the angus in the box yelling why story no, so no judgments.

You are telling stories to the same person who forgets all the stories he's told. So yeah, there have also been times where I'm retelling the same story to you, one from seven years ago, and I see in your face although you just did it, I misread it. Seems like you're hearing it for the first time. So I just keep going, Chris.

That's because I've studied as an actress and I have dedicated myself as a live performer Julliard in a way where I say what I'm saying in my head is my job right now is to as to be a listener and to say, what's good about this story that you've never heard before?

What?

How can you dig into this? And I'm telling you the mesh detail is was my entry point.

That's just good improv. That's you've got to hook in. Yeah, we we were born with that. Take that Emerson College.

We're it's natural. Yes, maybe we do negate, Yes, maybe we do not heighten and instead we get smaller.

We often we often deny each other's ideas or request. But I will know, But the fuck out of you. No, but you've said this before.

No, but I've heard the scorpion story in the boot already. It's what we do. It's what it's the glory of having your own podcast. You can it's your right to tell the same story over and over if it's your podcast.

Yeah, yeah, that's right, because what what what lunatic out there has just listened to all of them? The chances are of whoever's listening and remembers that story, it won't be fresh, and I will not have just listened to that one episode from five years ago. Well it's been years since I.

Cut to somebody behind the wheel with a single tear rolling down.

That a lunatic.

I'm not a lunatic. I just listen to this.

It's on shuffle.

I can't control the stupid content you guys put out.

She turns out, she doesn't enjoy it.

She forced. What if it's someone's like fucking job to listen to this podcast and they hate it? Cut to Casey, our producer, crime.

Single tear, single tear. That's great. Well you gotta keep listening, Casey. You got a lot of episodes back there.

You're gonna hear these stories, so many.

Many versions of the catades you. But again, to defend myself, that that story. He commonly goes down the Aids Avenue and I took a left turn on Mesh Boulevard.

That's right, because we had to build a called a sack on Aids Avenue.

Yeah.

Yeah, oh, I might have to kick these dogs out because here's a new thing. So I got some toys for this for Blossom, the new dog. But Frank, who has never cared about toys, suddenly I busted out to these of just kind of standard. They're basically like rubber tennis ball type of balls. Suddenly, Frank, that's his obsession and he won't leave it alone and he carries it around. Did I tell you this already where he walked out.

Yeah, that's she is, like.

All she wants to do is for him to do like tugle war on some toy, and he literally won't. He just stares at her. It's really cute.

That's so funny because he has to be like, Oh, I used to be just like you not long ago. Look, just while we were talking, I made a little butcher knife for my next kitchen. Oh well, it looks all it's because the foil is weird. Maybe it's not.

No, it looks like a knife.

Yeah, a little tiny knife.

Tiny.

Yeah. I just watched Halloween, say stab a little screaming actress with it. God, what a terrible movie. It stressed me out, but I I'm gonna work. Oh it's so scary, is it?

Though?

I don't like scream, I don't like Halloween. I don't like the just watch it. Then, I don't know, because I had I thought that. I thought that what's my favorite person ever was Jennie Curtis was going to be in it. And I was watching the rob zombie version.

Oh no, are you crazy?

Yeah, that desert rocker. I can't make a movie to save his ass. And it was very gory and just gratuitate, like I don't know, it's just killing. I don't like it anyway, this knife I'm gonna make. I actually ordered, I'm gonna make a little house and do the little skate park outside with little bags of cement and cinder blocks and stuff. I ordered the tiny construction stuff. So

Yes, I would argue, I would. I'm going to speak up. Sorry, there's there's a little background noise with them, Blossom trying really hard to get Frank to do a tug of war with her and he she won't leave it alone. A lot of paper on the ground.

But that's normal noise, so it's not moody blues.

It's fine, although both dogs are on crack. But I was going to say, oh that on behalf of the listener. I think it's my right to say, nobody would ever believe that your love of miniatures is insincere or a fleeting thing.

I think that a lot of people have been questioning my practice, and that it's like, oh, you made one bookstore, and now you think you can talk about miniatures all the time. You're a poser and a fraud.

They'll say, Chris, have you been spending a lot of time on social media?

This is sounds like I'll even talk to people that someone drunkenly said you talk down to people on the podcast. Do you ever do any research? I even interact with those people. I'm like, oh, no, I'm sorry, this is my first hate mail. And then she was like, it's okay. I was drunk. I listened. I listened to it a lot, and I'm like.

We're literally, first of all, whoever that person is, if you're listening, now, what the fuck's wrong with you?

What she said, you're a twat? And then I said, hey, what's this and she's like I was drunk.

I'm like, oh, oh, so that was kind of flirting.

That's no. I don't know. I think it was just strangeness.

What I was going to say is that seems like a borrowed criticism, because what the hell are you supposed to research on this stupid fucking show. Seriously, we couldn't be more random conversational. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're talking about stand up comedy, which we've both done like thirty plus years of research on it.

There's been a handful of times and It had to be in reference to one of the times we'll have a guest on and we just get oh, and your thing is called this or whatever. Like a lot of times we're pretty loose with that approach or I am, but other times we nail it. You know. I feel like with a guest like knowing a little bit and that turns into a fun conversation. So whatever, it's not an exact I'm.

Not it's it's it's not a science at all. It's just a conversation that gets recorded.

I know. I know no science, I promise you. I've only gotten one message like that. It's usually the sweetest people I know. I know. I was like, well, she must be from England. It just seems like an English thing to say, yeah rat oh, I'm good at accents.

It really doesn't make sense. No, no, but I do love the the at least there is a little bit of accountability that they that she said I'm drunk.

Oh yeah, that's funny. Well yeah, yeah, it was an old message that I was like, oh, I've never found this folder. But I do like inter I do. I do read messages and I do like saying thank you and.

Are your dms? Open.

Sure, yeah z yeah, no so far, no weirdos. That's how I know. No weirdos have ever come to shows because they know secretly that I got a dark side. No one wants to mess with me, I think, right.

They know your little knives, they know what you're up to.

Yeah.

Not five minutes ago. I was talking about my obsession with stabbings. So don't be coming up to me after a show with your drunken twat talk. Oh you know, I gotta It's a fine line, and once you cross it, it's karate time.

Baby. Do your research. You're talking down to people. Wait, are you sure listening to the right book?

Yeah? Yeah, are you? Are you trying to listen to the Daily or something? Yeah?

Your research.

But this house, I'm gonna dedicate a whole shelf to it. There's going to be a skate park, a little kids room, a sweet fan so that I'll make a guitar for so the kid. I'll have an electric No, no, just one of the many, many sweet fans. You gotta get on Instagram, Karen. You can have all the virtual relationships. But here's the thing. Once they show these are real people, It's not a lot of people hide and they're like, Oh, that person really likes this. It's legitimate. It's like a

And that I do that sometimes to people because I do recognize people, especially when I was on social media much much more kind of addicted to it, and I did remember seeing people over and over, people saying I love this, this is the greatest or whatever. So that if they came around the corner for our meet and rates, because also that it would make sense. Those are the people that then are like, oh, no, I want to actually I'll pay money to meet yeah, and then they

I know it's right, right, but yeah, sometimes people think that someone is answering on our behalf or something like I thought you had an assistant pretended. Yeah, not that right.

Although there are people that have me that there are accounts on Instagram that are it says my name, but it isn't. I'm not on Instagram, So anybody who has my name on Instagram is a fucking fraud.

Well, yeah, you got to look for that little check mark. Yeah, there's there's a Karen like fan site.

Sometimes yeah, God bless us.

Fun but yeah, it's it's the most important interaction, the one way listening.

Kind, the one where you have to d m your criticisms later, you twaks. I have to say it's a it's a really fun word because normally I don't like that that word makes me very reactive. But in this scenario where it's just a drunkard, it's like you're kind of sinny calling a man awa.

Yeah I know, I know.

It's genius.

Yeah, it's genius, and I'm pretty sure she's in England. So with the accent, call me whatever you want. Some of the words are great for.

Real, and which brings us back to that reporter that spoke six language.

Yeah, yeah, he could have been dropping with some of those languages, just dropping the sea bomb, boy, a lot of Not that long ago, I said the sea word a couple of times to jokingly, and you laughed, and it was but I was doing a character of some kind and I said it twice. I just want to apologize.

Were you playing a character on our podcast to say.

That, Yeah, you and I were doing two man improv. No, I just I don't know. Then I said it, and then I was like I probably shouldn't have said that. So I'm like, here it comes again, and I yelled it and then uh some oh my book my Brian, the guy that's been helping me, uh my friend that or he's my booker. He said, yeah, I listen to an episode you said the sea word twice. I'm like, oh, yeah, I do now quite vividly remember that. Sorry. He just was surprised because I didn't seem like a sea dropper.

No, you're you don't seem like a sea dropper. That word does make me laugh, especially when British people say because in England it's not a big deal. And I love that cultural difference of like, because I think I may have told you this, but there's an equivalent in Irish, which is the word fanny.

Fanny, Yeah, a very very dirty word.

And we were in Ireland and I was with Flannagan from Largo and I said it and I was using it, you know, the American way, and I was like something, Fanny goes.

You can't sure, fann't believe that you were using the American Oh, I sat right on my fanny.

But I said it full voice and he was literally like ducking down, going, stop saying stop saying it.

Oh wow.

It was so hilarious. Socially, it's worse than the sea word over there, and it's like I've heard that, I've heard it's such a juvenile. It's like a word for little kids in America, and it's like the you're in Ireland, it's you're it's literally you're talking about female genitalia that.

Yeah, oh yeah, and where it's like you get a spanking on the fanny boy. Imagine if you said that in Ireland.

You can't. This is now a rated X podcast in the UK.

Eighties Midwest Mom, spank and your fanny.

No, stop talking about it? Oh right, your book are is going to lose his mind?

Really? Wow? Wow? It's just isn't that funny? Where we come from, it's a it's a childish word for a butt. Yeah, not even the butt, not even the genitals of the butt, just the meaty roundness of the cheeks. Stop Jenny, Yeah no. I just want to make sure people have this clear, specifically on a child. No, no around child.

This is all out.

We're out.

We were we started being out when I started talking about Ireland, and we're out. Through this out.

I won't say the word. I'll just replace it with funny. Funny is basically saying bottom here correct in where we live, a spanking on your funny bottom, and I'm sorry of where you live. It's word that'll send you straight down. Hell, it's for jail.

Become serious. The government's going to have to investigate.

Well, I mean, there's a lot of examples. They also call a trunk a bonnet on a car, and the hood.

The trunk is a boot, The trunk.

Is a boot, and the hood is a bonnet.

Yep, yeah, just an elevator.

Yeah, I take offense to that as an Amish milk maid. How dare you, How damn dare you disgrace my hat?

Walk into this barn raising and tell me my boot is a bonnet. This is probably the best podcast episode we've ever recorded it.

You know what I'm going to say, in all seriousness, the people that like us are liking this the most because it's you and us old school riffing. We don't need no car with no fucking Yeah. We've been swearing, We've been taught telling it like it is. We've been retelling old stories.

Yeah, this is this is dinar at its finest essence.

Yeah, yeah, we don't need a car. We will be back in the car. We talked about that today at a meeting. But we don't know when it's just you gotta hang on. It's something to look forward to.

It's like a build up to the future thing. It's gonna happen soon. But when you don't know.

Karen's right, it's like a build up to the future thing. Get ready, get ready. That thing is out there and it's in the future, building up to it. That's fun.

Are you worried about the queen.

Have you heard about Mary Kay lately?

I tell you you heard of Jaffra products.

I haven't, and but I did see on Twitter someone was saying disgraceful thing about the queen, like someone not at all connected to the queen. So I'm like, whatever, I didn't dive into that work.

There was a rumor that she died, and then people were confirming that that was actually just a rumor. Then people were saying, well, too late, I already think she died or something because she has COVID.

Oh got you, And I'm dumb.

Talking about Queen Elizabeth.

I was literally and I think, you know what you can tell by looking into my blank eyes thinking of Princess Diana, and I'm like, like, they're going to fake those graphic photos. I accidentally saw that fateful night in the Tunnel.

Oh the worst.

Yeah, it was the worst, and I remember so many people being really upset. She was beloved. But I don't know, I don't know. I don't know that much about the Queen.

I don't know that you should watch The Crown. It's actually really good.

I love the Great Okay, same people, same people. No, it is the Crown and The Great are the same story making groups.

Oh I thought you meant same country. It's like you're simple.

Oh no, no, no, no, I am a twat you know, take it, watch it again.

Oh not sorry if we're from the specific place, they hates that word.

No, That's what was interesting about The Great is there it was just English, but they were all in Russia. It's just like, let's not make everyone do Russian accents. Well, just be able.

That would be odd. God, that show is good. I've talked to I love that ad nauseam about how much I love.

That El Fanning so good.

She's such a great actress. And those Fanning gals who grew up and grew up in front of the camera so talented that Fanning.

Everyone loves a Fanning gal. By the way, have you voted? I paid my sag dues, so they sent me fifty DVDs and one of them is, uh, you know, there's a thing that I have to fill out Nel Fannings on it. I'm going to vote best Actress in a comedy series.

She deserves it, she does, She's great, She's doing everything plus wearing a gigantic heavy wig that's also hot. And gigantic outfit and all of that in that gigantic dress.

And a painful corset she had. They hurt your ribs.

That's right. Women really suffer for boutique television.

And they used to have an ad for it on wends Wendy's tabletops. You know those old timey ad. It's a cushion, it's a spring that hides under your dress.

But what is it, Oh, the thing that you sit on. Yeah, it's a seat, but it's your butt. Yeah, it's like no spring loaded bloomers.

Well there was.

The bustle was the thing that used to tie to the top of your butt, so if you had a flat butt, your dress would still stick out.

But it was made of spring, right.

Not normally. But I'm sure that those tabletops and the old fashioned advertising that was lacquered onto them, because I have the same memory. It was all that stuff where it's like snake oil that'll carry your ills or whatever. Then it's like, here's a bustle that you can also use as a seat. It wouldn't be I'm sure it wasn't like and I and look, I haven't done my research, so I'm really being a twat about this. But yes, but I bet you that was like a fat or

I don't know, I'd love those old And by the way, anytime we're about to say something where we're not sure if we're rid or not, let's have this where twat continue to come up. I think it's so specific, I don't really know what I'm saying here. So at the risk of being a twat.

I didn't do my research, and I'm being a little I need to be a little condescending because it's my personality, so guess what it's twat time.

I'm sorry I didn't go to the little library and read through some micro fee. But yeah, I love those old timey ads. I tried to draw like that all the time. Are you unable to walk? Drink this and you'll be tap dancing? Or the old ones. Babies love the soothing it soothes their teeth. Turned drink seven up ads yes with oh yeah that it was coca cola because there was actual cocaine in that pour, A rowdy powder in that shit.

A nice pick me up in the afternoon if you were going to have your bustle with your spring in it and you sit down.

You know how babies in the afternoons need naps. Keve them a little cocaine.

A little cocaine.

Baby's ready for gramming? Am is it? At the very least? I do?

I do like because there was no legal limit to what kind of fake medicine people can sell back there it was, and so right, there was no any any oversight, and they used to have and this this is talk about not researched. I'm just kind of blabbing now, but there were there were the medicine shows where people they would drive around and they would land outside your town, like say Pioneer Days, and then they'd be like, this

Right. I remember that in so many like Disney Show, when my parents would drop me off of the movies and there'd be a double feature. It's some puff the magic drag. Did that have elixir salesman in it? I always thought that was an interesting dragon. Maybe Pete Dragon, not Puff the Magic. That's hard to keep. There was two dragons I had to keep straight as a.

Kid in the seventies. There were two major dragons. You had to pick a side. You had to pick your fucking dragon.

I was a Pete Dragon. Guy. You need that nauseating song.

Pete Pete Dragon is the first movie I saw in the theater. I have very dim memories of it, but I just remember the screen being gigantic, my looking at my parents, like, guys, this was a great plan, Like I was so into it. And Pete Dragon was the one that was It was live action and a cartoon.

Yeah, yeah, it's not. I mean we thought that cool world invented that. No, step aside, there's a new dragon from Hanolly.

That's no, that's puff the Magic.

Right from the same dragon and Holly a town called But yeah, I vividly remember that and that and that just the idea of going from town to town and tricking people into buying your snake oil. It's so funny. But actual advertising used to say things like cigarettes, These cigarettes are healthy, they make you live longer. I don't know, screw it. Let's say it like a Madman era dudes. Yeah, just lying, oh man, all.

Kinds of well. Also, yeah, like cigarette as you used to have doctors in them. That would be like, if you're going to smoke, try Carleton, you know whatever.

Right, Oh, I definitely recall one that said it's the kind I use, and it's a doctor. It's like, well, if the doctor uses it smokes.

Also, we just so my dad was in town, and so yeah, what you do mostly just sat around and watched what I called the movie festival, like a film festival. So we started watching all movies with Dennis Farina in them. So we watched Get Shorty one night, we watched Out of Sight another night, and we watch Sights.

It's so good.

That's such a good movie. But then we started off, we kicked it off and this was like, well, the first one was Heaven Can Wait, which someone on our exactly right staff meeting had recommended, and it is a great movie. It holds up perfectly. It's a Buck Henry movie. Yeah, it's such a good movie. But then we went from there to Midnight Run, Robert de Niro, Charles Grodin. Yes, you've never seen it is the perfect dad movie.

The more acting class I took in Austin. I had to do several scenes from that movie with Eddie.

Gosling from Midnight Run.

Yeah, it was so fun.

It's so I got such a good movie. It's written so well. But the point my point was is that in the movie Midnight Run, and a lot of those movies, but especially in mid I Run, they're so much smoking. People were constantly smoking, constantly lighting up and throwing the cigarette over their shoulder after two puffs, constantly taking cigarettes from each other. And it was the eighties, it wasn't like it was the fifties or whatever. And I was like,

Right, and I think it was Also it's it's with acting. It's a thing that you can do like a multitasking. I've business a little, but sometimes I'll just do a thing that isn't part of it, like scratch my elbow or do something, so you're not fully focused on what. Yeah, so it just you're doing a human thing. Yeah. Yeah. So it's fact it's easier to read a line if you're also making a sandwich, you know, because.

And the truth of it is, people don't listen to each other by sitting their stock still staring at you. It's like you're always doing something else. You're rarely actually focused when you're when someone's talking to you and you're talking back.

Next time I go on one of these cat food commercials or something, I'm just going to light up. I got to start nailing it, you know, I gotta get my health insurance. That's ironic.

I would light up, and then I would start zipping and unzipping your sweatshirt over and over, almost like you're like a little like like you're playing it. And then you're just like, this is what real people do. This is it's a fidgeting. It's real.

I do I do fidget Oh I hope that's okay, Well it's real. Yeah. My dad would have loved to have gone to your film festival. It was four dads you just mentioned. Yeah, you're just a Dennis Farina film festival. My dad might be the only person on his street that would buy tickets to that. He loves Dennis.

Dennis Farina is And here's the thing. You get to see this range because in Get Shorty, he's the biggest asshole. Ever, my dad was crying laughing. You know, by the end of Get Shorty, his nose is brooked, so it's like insane. And then he shows up and out of Sight and he's just like the chill dad j Loo's dad. Yeah, and he's real calm and then yeah, and he's also a big asshole in run as well. Yes, he can do it all, every kind of joy.

Always. I always expected him to be killing a lot of people in something. He looked like scary guy, so I really did appreciate him. And out of Sight if you haven't seen out of Sight, it's a j Low joint. Man. She's good, she really.

It is the most romantic movie, I truly believe.

One of our first first ten episodes, we talked about them dressing undressing across the room from each other. The tension, the Clooney j lo tension.

As our friendship, Hope calls him the Kloons because he did you ever see the movie The Descendants, that Hawaii movie where George Clooney's wife is in an accident and she's in a coma and he has to like hold the family together.

No, I have not.

It's actually a great movie. I think I believe it's Alexander Payne. I could be wrong, but I think it is. And at one point, George Clooney spoiler alert, finds out that his wife was having an affair with Matthew Lillard and Chip Pope's review of this movie was in what world would would you pick Lillard over the Kloons? Never

Stand him next to the guy that messed up Shaggy. And I'm only saying that because I would have been so much better. Why gay Scooby Doo. He didn't even try and do the voice. He didn't even try. He's like, so grow a goatee and just show up. Get out of your Lillard No for real? Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't like his Booby Doo?

Should anybody else wait? Who played?

Oh yeah, that's the one anyone else wrong from the Scooby Doo movie?

Why?

Yes, I'm glad you asked.

Freddy Prince Junior was Fred? And he's not a natural blonde?

Yeah?

Was he? Do?

Fred's he's sixty four and beefy Fred's on the husky side, and he's six he might be six six.

He barely can get in the van, but his and the circumference of his chest is fifty two inches and his waist is a petit twenty eight inch.

Yeah. Yeah, he has to get special tailored white sweaters as well, get a monogramed special neckerchiefs. Oh yeah, neckerchiefs who were chips?

Oh so seventies? So seventies.

Yeah, we've covered our entire childhoods here.

Yeah, we've kind of done it. And look we're right on the one hour mark. Chris nailed this ship.

I knew that it was time to look in a few seconds.

Do you have any other topic that you want to over on this one of our greatest and sothist episodes.

I believe that this comes out because I asked last time, I am going to be in San Francisco, California, California, the Bay Area. You might be familiar with growing up very close to this city. This club, it's called Cheaper Than Therapy. So just go to my website. I can't remember the address, but it is four nights, seventeenth to the twentieth what area of San Francisco. It's right in the mix of it, right in the thick of it.

I'm not Yeah, that would make sense, but yeah, I.

Think it might be. But it's called Cheaper than Therapy. You know, be on my website. That's all great.

Yeah, yeah, I think is it a your headlining or is it like a five person show or is it like.

It's just the deal me and hopefully some local funny Bay area comics. I actually will call John, the nice guy that books it, and see what. But I've done it a few times and.

It's great, great room.

Yeah, I loved it. At last time, there was no microphone and that made me nervous at first, but then it felt like I was stage performing. I've talked about this before too, but I was that was the show where I had to learn to like gesticulate and use my diaphragm and the theatery during stand up, and I walked away feeling like I was better at stand up because I wasn't just hiding behind a microphone like I. That's right, I come back to doing.

But they now have a microphone and a hell of a sound system cheaper than therapy. San Francisco, California, right some dates of twentieth You know, people in.

San Francisco are really comedically discerning, at least they were forty nine years ago when I lived there. That's where all the great people who were really like I want to be good at stand up comedy. And I feel like that has not changed the young people coming up

Yeah, as is, last time I met a bunch of great comics that I had never heard of. And it's a different scene than hanging out at the punchline or oh yeah. It was like kind of an underground type scene. And I can do whatever I want.

It's the greatest. That's very cool.

Yeah, it'll be it'll be really fun. And then I'm in West West Bend near Milwaukee in April. That's all I got. That's it.

That's too far out.

That's too that's too far out.

Here's my plug. I'm definitely going to wash my hair tomorrow. And that is my promise to you, Chris, you can and all of them.

There's a lot of pressure to wash our hairs, or at least shampoo it too much. Just get it wet and put some conditioner in.

No, I can't.

I have to.

My hair's too greasy. It'll it'll go all crazy.

Say I'm my dry scalp boy. I don't get oily. I don't get even combination, just dry and flake.

Is it dry as a bone?

Oh god, it's it's just like the desert. I looked last time I uh was combing my hair, I saw tumbleweed roll by on it. Oh no, And then a little, a little tiny went over a little a little dollhouse, cowscol God. We love miniatures on this program.

We support miniatures. If you haven't seen the PBS series The Miniaturist, it's so good. It takes place in somewhere in uh might be lapland might be Norway. Did you watch the Miniaturists series?

How it's you know, switch Bodies? What are my Friends said? And you're Judge Rhinold kind of freaking Friday.

This is my recommend recommendation to you if you're if you have pe access to the PBS streaming because they have good ship on there. And one of the series is called The Miniaturist and it's Anna Taylor Joy, who you know from The Queen's Gambit, the chest Netflix series.

It's so good.

She's great. She was also an Emma and she this is one of her first things and she plays this girl well. You just have to see its fourteen or fifteen hundreds Flanders or something some Scandinavian country. And I don't know them because I don't do research, because you're twat.

I I'll see if I have PBS, it's probably up in the smart channels next to Arts and Entertainment. That's right, I don't. I don't know. If I have those, I'm going to I believe it.

It's called The Miniaturist and that and miniatures are a part of the plot, and it's very fascinating.

I loved it because they kind of in hereditary. They they blew it with the miniatures being part of the plot. It was just a side thing, you know.

I'm sure they had to cut. They had to cut some of the greater miniatureist scenes because they had to replace them with an old lady being covered in coins and worshiping the devil.

Yeah, so that was. Yeah, that's a scary movie. I liked it. But in the end they're like, surprise, it's just the devil. I'm like, wait, I thought Tony Collette was like dictating things with her miniature stuff.

I know, I know, we should look that up and see if there was some kind of a I did. I think there was a directional change?

Yeah, because why is yeah, why did she then make a tiny little decapitated head of her daughter when that just had it's like uh, oh parallels, right?

Did she do it after?

Even in the beginning, there's like a miniature room and they zoom in and it turns into the teenage boys room. It's like, oh, it's all set up for this miniature world. Has something to do with this, this evil spirit world.

But maybe that's what they meant, and it was that she somehow had something to do with the fact that the girl's girl was beheaded.

Maybe because she got real weird in the end, especially when she saw her own head off. Okay, she is sorry.

Every Boilertown when she crawled up the wall and was up on the ceiling.

Oh, that's scary just thinking about it's so zip zip zip that movie. Oh yeah, I'm going to watch it right now.

Okay, all right, well that was fun. That was a great one.

Yep, we did it again. Have by doing it. You've been listening. Do you need a ride?

D y n A.

This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Casey O'Brien, mixed by Ryo Boun.

Theme song by Karen Kilgara, art work by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia dot com.

Listen, subscribe, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you, and you're welcome Mopps