S3 - Ep. 13 - Moses Storm

Are you leaving? I you wanta way back home? Either way we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gay. We want to send you off instat. We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?

Melbourne?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do your need ride?

Ride?

Do you need with?

Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgarow. Hello, my friend Chris. Today I had a beehive removed from my backyard.

You had I usually I had something ready, You had a beehive removed.

The reason I busted into mine is because you always do yours. I think the B news is breaking I feel like a bee hive removal is breaking news. So I just ran out first with it.

Did you up to this point have some sort of a B problem because of the hive? I imagine you did.

WHOA. It's just that I had to get my trees trimmed, and the tree trimmer said, I'm not doing it if that beehive is there, And I said, I get you. I'm on your side, sir, So I had to have it removed before they would go and trim trees.

It's pretty presumptuous of him, though, because what if you were a bee keeper and you were trying to make your own at home.

Honey I was wearing the whole netted hat.

Yeah, of course.

I don't know why he thought he could impinge on my life that way, but I started to think because he the man came to my door and said, I got the queen, I got the honeycomb. Everything's out. It's going to take a couple of days and then the bees will be gone. And then I was like, what if that's bad?

Right? Yeah, you don't know about bee hierarchy. You take the queen away?

Well still, so they don't they're not going to stick around, But like, what if bees? I don't know. It feels like it might be bad luck to lose bees. Oh yeah, yeah, what do you think.

I think it's the very end of the world thing. We need to appreciate all the bees that we find, because it's been years now that we've just seen them limping on sidewhile and you should have embraced them and taken them into your home. He wanted my opinion, You got it.

Fuck, here's the thing I can rely on you to tell me the truth about basically, if I thought things were bad, now just wait to see.

Now that the b is yay, I have to bring in an environmental twist. Well before we bring in our guests, I want to talk about the person that visited my house right before this. A man peeked in my window. Oh, and I guess he couldn't see me, but I was looking right at him. And then he hung a flyer and I realized he was the guy on the flyer. Why it was Kenneth Meggia. He's running for La City Controller, not comptroller controller, and he himself did his own flying.

Okay, he gets my vote simply by the fact that he showed up.

I do like that. I do like that he hit the streets and did it old school, like a cutco knife salesman. However, it says his credentials are eleven years of auditing experience. Now that's not someone I want peaking in my windows. I'm a little nervous, but.

He's the if he's going to be the controller. Isn't that the perfect experience?

Well, it's I think I'm going to get audited. Now, Why else would he be peaking in my window?

You saw your unfaid taxes laying on your on your desk.

I just yeah, I just have a giant stack of papers with an I RS please ignore sign on top.

I'm screwed in the in the ignore pile.

Well, you know what I didn't ignore is my links to screen our guests HBO Max Comedy Special. They call me the best segue or in the business. Not even know if segs a world where it's it's a whole.

World, it's a world that you live in.

It's out now, and after you hear him on our podcast, you're going to want to watch it because I find him to be one of the most talented comedian minds working today. You've seen it at clubs and college in college so many colleges, Yeah, a.

Trumbling amount of colleges. It was a really bad college I did where.

No one said your name.

It's fine Storm.

Talking everyone Moses Storm.

Every time I started sign to Moses Storm here, but they for promotion. I think it's like right after the last comic standing, which I was like, let's try to hide that credit. But the college to promote the show that was happening, because it's just like students, you know, they don't really do things. They spray painted my name

So it was the hands down worst promotion. Is my name on a on.

A mattress borderline accusatory. Yeah, there's an element. Yeah, you don't want to be involved.

The bad guy's name is actually on the mattress. This is gonna be easy. I know where he lived.

I know I did a college once in a I believe Arkansas. It was I was incredibly terrible. It was outside in like at night outside. I was standing in a gazebo. The children were over on a hill. There was a sign that had my name on it, and about twenty minutes into my absolutely silent set, one side of the sign with my name on it just kind of fell down and then I went, you know what, guys, I'm going to take that as a sign good night.

Everybody was killed part of your name. Oh, that's so sad. It just went outside.

Is insane that anyone would think that would work. But that's all we did for the past two years.

Well you paid for that gazebo. Yeah, you got to get for something. Jazz bands, did.

You know going in?

Because sometimes I'll go to a college and they're like, we have you in the corner of the cafeteria where we make echoes.

Sometimes you kind of know.

Sometimes I'll show you a photo now and you're like, Okay, this is a paycheck, So I'm going to stand on the top behind the civic and yellow.

I had no warning, and it's they're not actually allowed to do that because it's so bad for comedy, as we all know that you it has to be indoors. It's like contractually whatever. And I remember standing in a very florally wallpapered tiny bathroom before I went on, almost having a panic attack because I was like, there's no

Right?

How long did it take to figure out you weren't doing announcements?

It wasn't like.

Coming up in the spring because it's all freshmen, because if you're you know, crushing in college, you don't have time to go to some comedy shows. It's all freshmen who are people are like you a hook up with college girls know their children. The eighteen year olds are twelve. They're in my mind, embraces this is a child, and they are anxious.

If you're out, you.

Don't want to be alive, and you're nervous because you're not with anyone that you know. It's the worst environment for a community to thrive in. And then this they usually have students bring you up, so they haven't built the show yet. It's just someone coming up who doesn't want to be on stage but does all the announcements. They'll say usually your full buyout. They'll say your name first.

It's my favorite when they when you they they just google your name and find a bio. From the very beginning of your career.

He got anything, anything, flew as a credit anything. It was like he was he was he tested for a pilot. So you didn't get a job. Karen, you are lucky enough to be a successful podcaster. Did you have to do any of the outdoor or zoom shows that we all did in the Lockdown?

I did a.

Couple of the Chris and I have talked about it because I did. I agreed to do one because Chris was doing it. It was like Quiplash. It was you know, so it wasn't out it was not outdoor, it was zoom. I did a couple of those, so there was it was game base. It wasn't like doing a session.

Sean O'Connors was right.

There was one by one of those guys, and then there was another one that Louis Katz did.

Maybe yeah, yeah, it was. It was a lot. There's a lot of duel whiplash shows.

There's some quip slashes, which I thought, it's a game, so that's fine, But that then I just went, I don't what am I doing. I'm let somebody else have that.

In the middle of doing all these zoom shows. I go on Instagram and I see Moses performing in the middle of the beat in the water, in the ocean, diving in the waves in a wet suit, people with tiki torches laughing. Yea, the breeze, the life giving breeze of the ocean.

You can't say tiki torches with my face. You need to verify. That needs to be qualified. Show.

I saw the ocean. I did a show at the ocean, and it went exactly as well as you thought. And I thought it was funny to wear a suit the whole time.

Uh. And then I I was like, I just need to fit in.

I need to get so I jumped in the water right before this, Like I was like, said hello and jumped in the water, came back and then you know how like sometimes adrenaline will take over. Even you have the flu, you could perform. You could catch your breath. You're not tired anymore once you're on sta age. Not the case. The entire set, I was so so cold is the middle of winter, and I couldn't catch my breath. The entire set in a suit in an h and with the fabric is just made of different rashes.

Yeah, you've done some impressive physical The last time I did, I had the pleasure of trying to follow you at the improv, but you would just you would were you up in the rafters. It was like, oh, I fell more performance on Saturday Night Live where he's up in the You were up in the rafters and then slid down the handrail perfectly like mid joke and landed and did the punchline right. It was really impressive physically.

I'm a jazz boy.

You were a jazz boy.

You always work out, though I did follow one story off of the new improv, like their upper level.

I fell one story right on my hip.

You're kidding. When was this?

It was pretty early. I was very excited to be back indoors again.

It's pretty early on and I was trying to get back down and they're they're new. They're the staircase that's at least the second worce relatively new, so the booths that are behind it are.

Not bolted down.

And I was trying to get one foot on the back of the booth so I could eventually climb that very loose and then just fell one story and then I had about six more minutes.

Leapt, so I wasn't going to bail. So I did the rest of the set.

Did you like, it's fine? I'm fine.

Yeah, I have like maybe three more years before everything is going to be unhealable. It's just going to be like, oh that, Yeah, I don't have a left tip anymore.

One time at the old Luna Park, which no one knows it anymore, but they had this kind of old fashioned stage where if you walked up to it and stood there, it was probably like mid chest on the average person, pretty high up. And I was doing this show and I was the host, so I ran out. No one introduced me, They just go go out there. So I saw there was a doorway with like long tinsely stuff in the doorway, So I go, oh, I

Were you in Did you feel the full impact of the pain while you're performing or was you got off?

You're like, it's it's it was.

I mean I only did. I would say I just did like five minutes and then introduced the first person and got backstage and was like, I have fully sprained my ankle, but in the moment, I didn't feel anything, because I was like, you have to you have to go back out there. And I somehow turned and like it was really high. I just like propelled myself back up.

Right because we're so desperate to get that attention. That was like a mom lifting a car off her child, or like my three minute set. I mustn't laugh.

I could jump.

I can't lose before me.

I could jump twice my body height. I broke in a foot jumping off the stage at It's the it's the hot tub.

Stage really yeah, the Virgil.

Yeah, you jumping off that one. So after I didn't feel so after and I had worked the next day, so I was limping in every scene. Uh yeah, that was That was a bad one because it's the foot, so it doesn't really healed if you keep walking on it.

And you're like, you need this job. Yeah, did you work? But I had a lot of people at the show too. That's a hurt. Yeah for twelve see you tomorrow. Yeah as much a work, No, I was like twelve people.

Yeah, oh that always makes when you're injured. It's so fun when there's a dozen people there to just add that extra kiss of evaluate your life in this moment. One time, opening for Daniel Tosh, I was drunk on stage. It was fifteen years ago and it was at the Punchline in Sacramento. They just had one step up to the stage. There was just a box that someone had made it was not adhered to the floor. Yeah, and

It was to be at the show. Broke me to this and I just got.

Off stage out of embarrassment, and my heel stepped on this box and it barrel rolled under me like a log and one of those challenges you see on ESPN. I just landed on this box and it broke under my ass, just all sides of it. Oh and I and then I got met. The audience kind of laughed and then I yelled at them for laughing and then just had to walk through. It was the worst and I would Yeah, I was hurt all week.

I was like that that happened at the Punchline, a chain of comedy clubs, like one of the biggest comedy club chain there is. They don't have one step up to the stage.

It was just a free floating box and cross your fingers and go heel first into it.

At the quality that is a comedy club that all the furniture would be sound. Did someone from the club come up to me, You're gonna pay for that box?

Chris?

You might have snapped your heel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

During Daniel's said you could hear the slight hammering of me fixing it in the green room while crying.

I always feel like shit.

When I broke a clock at Helium in Portland, climb over that wall on the other side of the walls the glass clock. It sounded way worse than it was, but I bought them a clock. They were very nice about it. That made me feel even worse that they were so polite about it.

But yeah, it's target got the movie clock.

Yeah, they are historically the most polite comedy club in America. It's okay that you broke our things. We're Portland, Chris.

I feel like you're you've tried bits and auditions. If you ever had to clean something up, that's humiliating. Part of any bit is having you do some big thing in the room and then you have to clean it up.

Yeah, sorry, I knocked all these papers off your desk.

Yeah.

Oh look, that one's my headshot that you won't ever look at again.

Uh huh, already in the notepile.

Did you have a job at Conan?

I was, yeah, I was like floating Boy. It was never a job. It was just like that boy around. We don't we don't know what you do. We pity you and we want to do something with you. So yeah, I would host. I think the main job was running all the shows so it would warm cone it up for the tour because he had been a while since he had done live stuff. So the main job was hosting anything that that would help him get prepped for

I want floating Boy to be the name of your It's much.

More magical than just what it is. I'm like that guy that's around.

And then people were like, oh my god, you're gonna take over Conant. You're gonna it's like, it's not the Tonight Show. You can't take over Conan. There's no such thing.

It's a person's name.

It's his show.

Yeah, boy, one day they're going to manufacture a suit that looks like Conan and you're gonna climb into it and pretend to be him.

I'm gonna run Conan. You're never gonna address it.

It's an odd enough name where I could just house the show and no one whatever asked why is it called ConA for eighty years down the line?

Did you start as a PA? I mean like, were you on the staff somehow?

No?

No, JP Saul, Chris Red and I performing at Meltdown and asked us to do a pre show at Comic Coide, which meant we performed out side on the roof.

And we did that.

It's a twenty four hours show that would happen with like anytime, like, oh, the cast of teen Wolf is in and around the area. It can't be on the real show, but they could go up from the roof in San Diego.

Jesus, did you show up and you were like, what, no gazebo?

I was. I was ecstatic to be there.

I was like, shit in my pants, so nervous Christmas, I guess bullshit. He had options, he was I got a Chuck Lori show and then yeah, we interviewed people in the sun and then Conan would come up there with us and just sort of tell people like this is a fig and don't tune out, and that went well. So I got to do the show, and then ever since then I just had worked there just as a performer, hired hand, but now I never I've never done it actually like productive work as far as I move anything.

Yeah, he just obviously likes you, which is which is cool. I am It's a panel and I don't even know if this is It's a good thing to bring up because, as I recall, it ends with a video, a visual which we had a bunch of Indar special. Yeah, but you can blow it a bit, can you. Yes, I am going to blow it. Can you just talk about the tapes that you recorded over that.

This is a very real story.

So we were not allowed to watch TV growing up, extremely religious growing up, so any TV was like that is the devil. So the one thing we were kind of allowed to watch was musical performances because if my older brothers learned music, that would be a way to praise God. So sometimes my mom would let them record late night shows because of the musical guests that they would have. Oh, that's how I found out about Conan. I got addicted to the show and needed to wait

Yeah, oh god, that's the best.

So they enough people complained to the program if it tapes are damage, and then it got so bad that eventually the program they yeah, contacted my mom.

We had damage of the tapes.

And the reveal is Karen, I don't know if you've saw it on ConA and he's like, and I have one of the tapes here, and it's just someone giving like a lecture, a boring science lecture, and then there's static, and then it's Conan and like in a cowboy costume dancing. It was the best.

Sorry to question it, but you knew was a subscription model after the first time, and you kept doing it.

Oh no, I mean this only this only happened, Like you.

Have to just say, like, it takes such a while, such a slow program. It's just like a woman in Pensacola that's running the whole thing. So it took a while. For this to catch up. It was now if it was like even like what Netflix was in two thousand and eight, Oh my god. Yeah, be found out within a week. But no, such a slow program because it took multiple students complaining. I think some kids probably didn't even complain. That's homeschool. You're obviously being neglected. Put these

For homeschool kids primarily. Yeah, which you you were homeschooled.

Uh, that's generous. It is no school essentially.

I think I learned how to read and write officially at sixteen slash eighteen, and then still struggle today, Like if I do a table read now, I'm like, I know it's scripts under locks, but I do need to look at it before.

Get Well you didn't you say in your special that you just found out that you have dyslexia.

Yeah, so.

There's so much insecurity around not being able to read and write.

It's the most embarrassing thing.

So I just I'm not interested in it. That's word for me.

Focus. It's not a good one.

You're right, So, yeah, it took me a while to be like Okay, now I'm actually putting the effort in to learn how to read. I've gotten hooked on phonics off of eBay. It started a rudimentary that's hard, that's hard, but your shaving and you're listening to hooked on phonics.

But it's so.

Then I then I officially got tested by my therapist, recommended a psychologist, and then did a series of tests and I'm found out not only my dyslexic, but I'm also dysgraphic, which is the order of things. So if you were to tell me a phone number, I couldn't then transmit that into a written So it's the two worst things on top of the worst education.

Wow, that's so because you've made up for it in another way. You seem to me to be a high functioning brand person. And that's something that was worded in a way that I'm admanding that I'm not high functioning brand.

High functioning word person. You are me to do good at words.

You're a high talking quality man.

Yeah, it's possible with technology to not be entirely literate, because there's things like there's programs that can read for you or just but double the work in I can't cold read a script. I'd have to memorize the entire thing. So I because I'm not gonna sound it out if I do those bad like MTV clip shows where you read a telepropter, I come in the day before and I memorize the entire entire half hour script all the blocks.

Did you do that kind of secretively or were you just openly, Like I have a reading thing that.

Once you got a name for your disorder, this guy's the limit I'm mean mentally unwell.

Where I can be up piece of shit. Yeah.

Yeah, the liberation of having a name and of the disorder has been It's great because now I can just tell producers up front you know, hey, I have this disorder and you can't discriminate.

Yeah. I think I shoul probably see what I have. I'm pretty certain just looking back on my life that I have some version of add Would you guess that, Karen? You know me about you? Yeah? I think sure, Yeah, so I should be taken well.

I have a feeling though that most people that go into comedy is there's something about us where it's like we just first of all, we need to feel special and different. But it's because we are special and different. So whatever that kind of thing is, it's like there's nothing more independent, self sustaining, kind of like self propelling or whatever than stand up. Like no one can tell you how to do it. No one can tell you

Yeah, I just I one time working I'm making that World's Dummas show. I would get so overwhelmed by everything, and someone said, here, try this adderall It'll help you focused. And I've never felt more normal before and everything was easier for me. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm someone that maybe requires this pill. And that was five years ago. I haven't looked back. I have never you. Yeah, I have not. I've taken it once in my life and that that was one of the best days of my life.

Yet, I because it sounds like you do need it. I think for people that actually do need it, you don't have the mass slash cocaine effect. We're like, yeah, I'm going to clean my closets a normal I'm focused now I can read this next.

Yeah, and that terrible come down.

But right right, are you afraid of having a dependency on a drug?

I'm afraid that, like Karen was saying, if I end up taking something like that, all of a sudden, the urgency and frantic energy I use to do stand up will be gone, and I'll no longer be funny, you know what I mean?

Very possible. Yeah, very similar to me being afraid the bees are going to be taken away. If I'm scared the bees are taken away, and now I'm not funny.

Yeah, that was the secret to everything.

That's that's twenty feet down a hill away from minus. Yeah.

I never watched that movie with Tom Hanks where all the bees come out of that guy's mouth. What was what was up with that? Oh?

I don't know. I just know e from the mummies it's all the bugs bees.

Oh you're talking about the Green Mile.

Yes, thank you. Oh bees fly out of his mouth, and I remember ceasing to watch it after that moment.

You might need that at all.

Yeah, maybe I do.

Maybe I do, And you need it right now the thing is now.

Yeah, I don't know.

I didn't like the way it made me feel. After I was like, this is not good. It's whatever the benefit I would get from reading. It's different for everyone.

Moses, will you talk a little bit about your childhood. I know you don't want to, like, yeah, blow jokes from your special but at the same time, it is incredibly fascinating how you grew up.

I mean, it's like what I'm working on now. It's part two.

We barely scratch the surface in this special, just because it's at a time and I'm I don't know. It takes a lot of talent to make some of that stuff funny, and I'm just not talented enough as a comedian to make it work.

Very religious parents.

They joined a doomsday cult in the nineties, and it.

Wasn't the famous one.

I don't think they never They had a name called The Way, but then there's a way more successful cult called The Way, and so they just dropped the name and they never renamed it because they don't believe in themselves. So then we for most of my life, there's three families in the cult, a lot of kids in each of the families, suspect that they just had kids to

So so that was your first performance.

First performance, it was exactly like a college show. Outside yelling at the.

Top of my loss, people ignoring you, not.

Really comprehending what the words you're headed for. Hell means, I just know that mommy wants you to do that. So I remember, I mean, people hated us.

You're yelling. You're people like I'm a Christian. You're like, no, it's not Christianity. You're gonna burn.

So people would spit on us. They throw a beer at us, which like what even if someone's saying you don't like something, that's a kid. Yeah, they'd moonas. They were very much on you when you tell them that they're going to die and it's all over.

It's a slippery slope mooning kids. I've never done it myself, but that was a bad choice. But they were, I guess.

But hey, we got to go the spring break.

You grow up through Daytona Beach.

We got to go to Lallapalooza, the outside park of.

Wait.

Really, so, was it like you kind of strategically choose places where yeah, big groups.

It was really on what we could afford, which is not a lot of travel. People like you got to go everywhere. It's like we'll spend a lot of time in Florida and North Carolina and Ohio. And then yeah, I would try to be around bigger events or we would stick around another week if something was coming up.

It's something as small as a festival.

Lose is probably the biggest example, but sometimes it could just be a fun run for the cure. But out to this day, like this, Branana got cancer, You're gonna burn?

Oh God.

Basically anywhere there was a crowd, we were there and it was about it's called witnessing, witnessing for God anywhere and everywhewhere. So if you're at Walmart, the idea was like you're you would just feel this push on your back, your mind go and you have to give someone, uh some neon track. It was a religious pamphlet that I had no idea what it says and still doesn't know what it says, and uh yeah, you just have to tell them that they're headed for hell.

And then I had no backup from there.

So as a kid, did you you just kind of went through the motions. It's you probably weren't like a hardcore believer in everything that you were being told to do.

Right, Ah, we're terrified. I mean, it wasn't so like brain dey go to the motion. It was just like, oh shit, yeah, I guess I'll do this. I don't want to be in trouble. And then all my siblings are doing it and we're isolated from everyone else.

So that's your entire reality.

There's very little barometers for like, hey, this isn't normal because those kids they have Christmas and they go to school. Once I got to I don't know, eight nine ten, you started looking around like the kids are in school, We're not allowed.

To talk to anyone. This is odd.

And then you see your just your parents get to yelled at at a grocery store, not even for witnessing sometimes sometimes just for shoplifting, just bad behavior and not paying rent at a campground. So early on, the people that are supposed to be your authority figures. Very early on, it was like, oh, they don't got these are people that do not have me. So then the paradigm starts to shift. You start to think a little bit more

Well the hell thing is just as being raised Catholic, obviously very different. But there's that thing where it's kind of like but the rationale that they give you does hold up for a while where it's like just walking away doesn't feel right because there is you know, the understanding is it's all throughout your life. So it's just like that idea of totally turning your back on a thing that was built in is a hard thing to do.

That's hard to be. Like, I was wrong for so long.

It's scary, and it's scary now to not have any set faith thing of just being like, are you dieing?

There's nothing, so I don't believe in nothing.

I'm I'm mostly not annoying Bill Maher a man in the sky who Yeah, it's well that helps.

A lot of people out. Yeah, yeah, what do you know? Coffee bread?

But I wish I had something in my life, like I wish self help work done me, like I wish Eckert totally was something that was like, now that makes me feel good.

Echo totally though the simplicity of that, I don't you know that like sit on a bench and stare concept, It's like I need I do need more directions. Sorry.

It is a privilege of the ranage too to be able to sit on a bench and be present meditate. If you're a single mom with five kids, you to yell that there's not a lot of time to meditate.

No, not at all, or even have any quiet at all.

Yeah.

I think I think a lot of self help is geared towards people with a privileged life, and there's nothing wrong with that. But when you become privilege, your problems are less. It's more interesting self worth. What am I even doing with my life? You have time to examine those other things. But if if the landlord is at your door, if there's a threat, if there's like, oh, we can't go in that room because the one of the rooms is overtaken by mice and roaches, which is

Ald I?

Everything I want to follow this up with is from your special and like Karen said, I don't want to hand.

I don't care. I don't care who cares.

The most memorable thing is that your mom died all your kids all the kid's hair blonde. So to confuse the landlord that there was only one kid if I make them all look the same, and to make it seem like she was a natural blonde. Look, all my kids are blonde. So those two reasons, I don't know which is better.

This is true.

That was the first time I did that second part of the joke because we had all these stopdowns because so many things went wrong during the tapeing. The first part of the joke where it's supposed to end, is my mom died all five of her kids blonde because she didn't want anyone knowing that she herself was not a natural blonde, right, even a cereal killer on that run, But the law would be like, that's too much.

I'm not going to gone girl my kids with hair dye. Now.

In the process of setting up the special, I ran everything by her because I was like, what is somebody that didn't sign.

Up to be in the entertainment industry?

And even though it's my life and my experience, I think there is some sort of responsibility that you have to be like, hey, I'm going to do this. You're not going to be embarrassed on a giant streaming service, but let me ed to tell you what I'm doing. So then in that process of talking about the hair days, she goes, oh, yeah, but it wasn't it's like about to take a special She goes, it wasn't just because of that.

Yeah, sure I was.

I wanted not people to not know I was a fake plant, but we were about to be evicted from a one bedroom apartment and I was trying to make all you five.

Kids look like one kid.

So your mom wrote that joke, Yeah.

And it was just the fact, like I could never think of specific that would top that of.

Like, well, that's like when you're at that carnival. It's like that is it?

That's a genius?

Yeah?

Is your mom now out of that belief system or as.

That for her there's like a tether to the past of that. I wonder how much she belie leaves about it. But I think as far as the cult leader James, I don't know she's in contact with him. I mean, one of the really genius things that the cult leader did is that she was never in You always keep people at her arms distance of you, never are accepted.

He's never like you were saved.

So it keeps you wanting his affection, It keeps you wanting to try harder, send him more money. When her grandmother died, she gave him all the inheritance money. Oh wow, So it's she was never accepted. So maybe there's something liberating in all of us kids being like that guy wasn't right.

Okay.

I remember he came into the house and he humiliated you in front of all of us and said that you don't need to listen to your mom anymore.

She's she's a witch. She's going to burn. That's not right. So I don't there's some scarring there where.

I think she's still if he came back, it was like, you're accepted, she sheould go back.

But I think over all, no, she's leveled out. She's remarried. She's in an.

RV again, but this time a company did the conversion.

And yeah, I think it is one of the nuns.

Yeah, oh good.

And she's spending her sixties just apologizing to everyone and trying to make up for the past and trying to be.

A really good grandma.

Yeah, and a lot of people have scars in the past and they're still taking their time to come around. But overall, yeah, she has learned, you know, thirty years later from her mistakes.

That's great. I mean that that's rare.

Yeah.

I do know that she has to be funny though, because the trying to get you guys on America's Funniest fone videos is a job, a serious ideet, like, we have to take this seriously as a job.

That's what's so funny is the stakes are so high. So one of our jobs growing up mainly was dumpster diving and then selling the junk at a yard sale that was pop up sometimes other people's front lawns because we couldn't keep doing the trailer park. No one wants to come to a trailer park, so we would just set up on other people's yards. There's that grass right before the curb's yeah property, this isn't.

Technically your yard, sir.

Yeah.

People are very confused, but you're out front and they're like what the and people are like, can you use your bathroom? Like no, so, but one of the jobs that we had is uh and that's just one of them.

I have maybe four other bits.

Is she would aggressively try to get us on America's Funniest Home Videos Rest in Peace, Bob Saget. As a job, she would write these bits or be something that would happen organically that she would try to recreate later. Like my brother found in one of her brawls. He's like, look, mom, knee pads and in her head like that's the height of comedy.

She was like, say it like you just thought of it. Say it like you said up before.

So we spent two days trying to capture that bit.

And then one from the special is that we're going to be making cookies in the kitchen all of us kids. Kids are so messy, and then two year old me, A lot of the bits fell on me. It is like the youngest, the smallest one. It's funny if the littlest one one does something. I was going to drop a bag of flower reaching for something to the land of my sister's head. But uh, the nature of having children and trying to stage bit uh, And I don't think it's spoiling it.

It takes a shit ton of takes to get it.

So great and you're just staring at your mom the whole time. Now, I don't understand the joke.

It's like a great who's on first mold me? Like, I don't think if I sat for a thousand years in a room could write all the ways that the kids mess it up.

It's such an.

Organic, pure just like they want to do good but they just don't understand. And you start to feel her frustration at a certain point.

Off like fucking do it. Yeah, I was really happy that got cleared. It made it in?

Did you is money? Is there money to be made if your video gets on America?

Thousand dollars? Oh exact? But we never did that.

We just got the appearance fee, so she was going for ten grande it.

You made it on.

We made it on.

But that's not a win for how much time we put in. Because she watched if you do it Hit in the Nuts video, we rud study it. This is like one show we were allowed to watch you do it Hitting the Nuts thing. You're just gonna be put into a montage. You don't want to be put into a montage. If you're on Last Comic Standing and you do so little bit, you're gonna be putting a montage on your own.

Story original concept.

Yeah, right, So.

She's like, it's gotta be something with dialogue because they have to stop do they got to cut the music, So we try to revolve around that. The one that she was a little anxious about was like, oh, the flower bit, maybe there's enough. That's why she's trying to get the lines right of like mom, Mom, can I help?

But then they just took it.

And they put it essentially the cold open montage, just like, damn it not eligible.

That is such a like as we're sitting here though, now I'm thinking of all my favorite Americas videos because they're the good ones, are the greatest things ever right there. I mean like I can think of ten of them right now. That really was a brilliant chance.

It's it's like what TikTok is now. I mean, the most interesting things are on there. It's like, yeah, it's nice to sit down and watch, you know, breaking back, but just something is so entertaining about something.

That's real to it happened. It's uh yeah, it's just it's us. It's it's rare moments that it's us. Yeah. So they were essentially YouTube before YouTube was a thing.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh man, that's genius.

Yeah. So your your mom.

Was the opposite of my parents, who were always like enough and already like just.

That got you into clowning business is that you were taught to not to be serious.

Well, I have to be serious. Just that. It was kind of just like the classic line of my dad's was show off time is over. So it was like for like they could take it twenty for twenty five seconds and then it stop. So the idea of having like that was my dream as a kid, to have a mother that would be like, let's all get together, we're getting in the kitchen, we're going to do a bit like that idea was what I thought I really wanted so badly.

Show Off is over such a deadline, such a bad line, so you'd use that.

Multiple I think we ever got this.

It's not a movie, so don't make a scene.

I was like, m it will work.

Play my dad, just give me the light.

That's what I got it.

Like, oh so like a two minutes or five minutes? What does that mean again?

I forgot you're nursing and he's giving you the light.

Wrap it up.

That's what was hard about the driving shows is that that's how we know how to get off stage is the light, and people would flash their headlights, just have their running lights right, So constantly people are like, get off.

I don't know why, but I loved those shows, the ones at Irvine that I thought they were going to be terrifying, because the sound of a horn beeping is not if.

You've only earned that in the context of idiot, get out of the way, it's very hard to reprogram your brain.

To now process that as a positive sound. I'm doing good.

We've never heard a symphony of them, you know, honking and unison and all of a sudden, that's this pleasant thing. I loved it. I did not expect to enjoy that, but it was great.

You should put out your special as a driving show.

But in like five years from now, people are well over it.

That was a pandemic thing. No he did this.

Now, yeah, he's just got addicted to cars honking.

Yeah, it was hard watch those ones. It's like comics. I really like. But the ones that happened they Amazon.

Did car shows and then they added laughs on top of the hanks. So now thenks just like stakes for people that like you know, it's like a good hour they did for all cars.

Never figured out the audio.

What are your interests? Southern comedy? What could you spend hours talking about?

Started skating.

It's the same thing of like you could be a loner, right, you know, you could get good out on your own and then had stopped because you're just getting hurt, and then in the lockdown, just trying to do more things that match my face. Learned how to surf in the lockdown and really like that.

Okay, I find scary.

It was like a way to get your adrenaline out because the ocean I scarcely shit out of me.

Yeah, me still to this day. I started skating a lot during quarantine, getting back into it because I had my hip surgery and everything. But surfing, there's something about my I think it's the fear of drowning more than sharks. I'm just so oh me too. And I've gone surfing probably fifty times, and I feel like I'm not any better than I It's the most frustrating, difficult thing I've and there's.

Times you really get held down. Yeah.

I needed it in the in the lockdown because one it took a four hour chunk out of the day. Yeah, it's just to get to the wetsit all the shit, so it's eating time and it forced you to stay present because it's just wave after wave. Yeah, there's some really big days that probably shouldn't have been out, but you get held under it for quite a while.

The wet I can't. Whenever I'm taking off a wet suit, I'm like, there's no way, this is how you're supposed to do it, right there. I the the the times as a child when I take try and take my jeans off and I and I keep my shoes on out of laziness, and then you're just you have to call your parents in because your shoes are will not go over your your or your pants won't go over your shoes. That's what every time taking off a wetsuit feels like.

It's this is a fuse show. By the way, Karen, this is what we do. This is exactly the fuse every shoes show.

It's a surf complaint. Complaint.

I've ever been.

Feeling too good about your body put a wet suit on. It's the shape that you are, oh stomach and taking it off it's uncomfortable. I like it is very embarrassing. I pulled my shoulder just getting it off.

I hurt my back taking getting the water. Yeah, you need dis soap. That's the only way to get around it. Cover your body and dis soap.

Surfers are not chill. Part of it was the lockdown, but that has not been my experienced. The amount of fights that I've seen out there, and every grown man looks so stupid trying to fight on a floating board. But there was very hostile. Yeah, there's only so many waves and there's too many surfers, so everyone's cutting everyone off.

Yeah, it is. That's one of the main reasons I never got into that skateboarding. Never had that, Hey, this is our turf. Maybe in movies where there's like a skate villain, like in Paul Blart Mall Coop or something, but there it's mostly pretty inclusive and surfing. I've I've had grown men take a swing at me and I don't even know why because I was in their way and I'm just, oh, I'm just trying to not drown. I didn't know that you were right behind me trying.

To catch the way finite.

It's like stage time, you know, there's only so many waves at the right shape, at the perfect time, at that certain moment. So on like escape Market, it's always there. You can just go in the next turn. Yeah, you could be waiting three minutes, so you could be waiting twenty five minutes for the next wave.

A really good point, Yes, because like you.

Just wasted twenty five minutes because you're an idiot and you.

Didn't look left. So I got it. I got a little hostile. I didn't take a swing at.

Anyone, Yeah, but I did do some very sassy eye rolls.

Yeah, I got the message of you again. Yeah.

I do love that idea that it's counter to every uh piece of propaganda about surfers with hey man, that's cool.

Yeah, not at all.

It's like Silicon Valley tech bros out there talking about NFTs.

Yeah it was. It was also out there.

My favorite quote is Kyle Kanaan's. He was like, surfing is like falling off a roof and having the house chase you. I always thought that was because, Yeah, waves are just so powerful and like you said, they hold you under. I I'm terrified of it.

You never go to the beach.

I feel like we live close, but we never go and an hour in la is not close.

Yeah, right, Oh, I.

Used to live two blocks. I lived in Venice for years. I'm embarrassed that I didn't become a surfer. I serve for like fifteen years, and I'm well, I could walk down there. I am the owner of surfboards, but I just never I don't know.

And now it's the whole thing.

It's like, I want to work out for an hour, and it's gonna take an hour to get down there, thirty minutes changing and up hour to get back. And now traffic is back, so it's even worse. Yeah, it really kept up.

So surfing is your main thing.

It was in the lockdown, and I think that's what I want to be known for. Yeah, and it's not a surprise. It is the first time I've ever done it. But people just presume I already do that. So and then even people in the water, they would let me go because this guy's going to be good, And then you see them get.

Disappointed in real time. Why do you struggle?

Why do you have that hair?

Right?

You have such surfey hair. Your hair looks like a wave.

But ever since I've been like working on the special and then I you know, I had to edit the whole thing. I did all the graphics everything for it. So there's been no time I haven't done anything.

I watched a Yeah, your preparation, it seems like they left everything, including finding all that stuff to paint white the stage. Why was it? Why were they so hands off or is that kind of.

I was asking for a lot, so I had to be prepared to do a lot. If you get a special, what is provided for you is there's gonna be a curtain, there's gonna be three per right, and there's gonna be a jib camera that's gonna swoop in on your texting jokes. But I wanted not that camera. I wanted fancy, fancy me me film cameras, and I wanted a set.

That I want to build that with double as a screen.

So yeah, granted, they sure they could do more, but it was like, I'm asking for more, so I'll.

Put the work in to do it.

So I built the set, but I had people helped me out too, the actual crew guys help me screw things in.

Well.

And it's amazing. I saw your model for it and everything, and you going to thrift stores and buying all that stuff and spending a lot of money on what appears to be junk. Yeah, but really, really it really worked out. It really looked amazing.

Yeah, it's funny that I used everything my mom taught me. Everything I was running from, as far as collecting junk off the streets, haggling with people.

It always means be so uncomfortable.

Just in the process of putting the special gather came around to even more for giftness.

Just having to set this up. I did learn some skills. They're not you know, it's drifting, but still skills.

Beautiful full circa.

Yeah.

Yeah, and you didn't have to tell anyone to go they're going to hell.

I did. It's healthy.

They didn't make the behind the scenes footage, but I'm sure going to hell.

Yeah the whole don Kirsty with that red hair and skin, that's a sign, that's a sign.

Well, well this is awesome. Yeah, thank you so much for being here with us.

Yeah, yeah, of.

Course, thank you so much for giving me a ride.

Yeah, I'm proud of Yeah. Yeah.

Just so you guys have completely abandoned the hull hook of the show.

Yeah, for now you can't do it. And now we'll addicted to not being in a card. But we will. We'll be back in the car soon and you can we'll be back.

Well, we just can't get in the car and then be like we know for sure we won't give you.

Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah right, we will dramatically change your life forever.

Just like in the beginning, Chris is like, we can still do it in the car, and we were me Chris and Stephen were all like, yeah, we can still, It's fine, and then there's like, no, no, it'll take one one time and we'll give it to one person and then we'll totally regret.

It immediately backtrack by thoughts like steal, like an open air cheap the audio.

Shot, everyone's into the Yeah.

No, I appreciate you having me.

Yeah, I'm doing anything and everything to you know, should I get the word out about this special?

So yeah, well you give me a show.

At your official plugs. I don't even think they've said the name.

It's called Trash White and it's streaming on HBO Max right now, and it's yeah, the story of my whole life. And you see all the stuff that I built, all the all the junk from the streets of Los Angeles.

Amazing stage.

It's great. It's it's stand up, but it's also like amazing storytelling. I haven't even you. It was different than what I've seen you do on stage. It was it was really a special said a better word than special, Well it is that. No.

Yeah, I'm just so happy that people have responded to it so well, because when I watch it, I hate it because I just I'm upside down on it. I mean, I've been involved in every single detail that all I can see are the flaws, the things I wish I would do better. But people's response to it this week in a non humble bragway that has blown me away, and I don't know, maybe like it a little bit more.

That's so great. So yeah, trash right on HBO Max with Moses Storm. Thank you for being our guest today. Moses, You're the best man you've been listening to. Do you need a ride?

Do you y are?

This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Casey O'Brien, mixed by Ryo Bound.

Theme song by Karen Kilgara, art.

Work by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and on Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n Ar podcast.

For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia dot com.

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