S2 - Ep. 8 - Picking up Karen from LAX

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style. You wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks. I'm at a lax in the ninth circle of Hell or terminal three, I meant, and we are picking up my friend Karen Kilgariff, who is usually she chimes in right now, it starts talking. But of course, for now she is a guest, an upcoming guest. But once she sits down, she that role will actually transfer to co host and she will be pulling double duty, as you know, a guest and a co host, which

I'm sorry I yelled at you. Okay, we are.

See if I can see her.

Steven, are you with me?

Hi?

Here with you?

Yeah? I forgot. Sometimes I forget and then I hear your your faint baby like breathing.

You breathe, you breathe like an angel.

I'm very soft. I've been sleeping in the back this whole time. Not really, but yeah, we're keeping an eye out for Karen.

Karen is.

We've already witnessed a car accident on the way here.

Yeah, that was horrifying. Classic T bone with a classic Corvette. Everything about it.

It seemed okay, they.

Seemed okay, they seemed in shock. Yeah, they were just sort of The guy was just sitting there taking it in.

Oh, we just passed Karen.

Oh really yes, Well let's just put it here. The amount of stress that the airport brings me is notable and noteworthy, and that means the same thing.

Do you think that Karen saw us?

I just fixed it here.

Boy, Oh there she is. Oh wait, totally that was a bizarro.

I saw definitely saw Karen's doppelganger. That's hilarious.

Hi friend, Hi, Oh here's your mic.

You are we recording? Now?

We are? We are?

It's I can't believe we used to do this all the time.

I know, it sucks.

Shit, it really is worse than I remember. Okay, there's so much to think about.

There's so many fucking people, and.

Now there's a way, and so sorry we're late.

That's okay. There's so many people and there's now construction.

I mean Jesus, and the way here. On the way here.

Because of Riesa and La Rains, there were cartoonish potholes that were literally as deep as they were white, like one foot square foot potholes where your tire would just get engulfed, like you can't hit it, or your tire will know I was dodging it, like lava or some kind of a video game like Leaping on the avoiding alligator heads.

Hold on a second, I think avoiding po potholes. I was gonna say potheads. Avoiding potholes wouldn't be a good video game. It's like a driving game. But then all of a sudden, there's just like a huge, horrible pothole.

Yeah, just realistic. Yeah.

Sometimes there's shallow, yeah, and sometimes they're like deep pits that like it sounds like your tire pops.

And you have to obey traffic allows you can get tickets while you're driving. This is a great video game idea.

Isn't it fun? And what if you also on the side isn't fun? Also, your bills are listed on the side, so you can worry about those.

Oh yes, yeah, and just.

Still three hundred dollars.

Yeah, yeah, you can just check and see when you have to your taxes are due.

All of a sudden, what's upcoming?

Oh, your mother's calling?

Oh oh oh, I'm going to drive into this pothole. Okay, I do have a couple pieces of news from the road dinar.

Yes, of course. How was your trip?

Oh?

It was great and really fun. But the fun part is so everybody. That's why this episode is late, because because I, uh.

Am just coming home today and you had been gone for sometimes for six days.

I think my dog is going to be very mad. And I was gone right up till that point. Guys, we're road comics, we're road comeds. We are doing the circuit, and there's nothing we can do about I reliant on it. Although right before I came out, I saw on Twitter the hang in there kitty that you put Did you photoshop that? No?

I just found a little image.

Oh it was good. It looked real good. Okay, So this is from so I've been on the road with my favorite murder. But of course we meet people and then people always say, I love do you need a ride? So in the meet and greet from Okay, We've done four So I think this was Please forgive me Carrie and Amanda. I'm pretty positive.

This was in Pittsburgh, Oh, Okay.

Which was the best we had, like a weekend of the most fun shows and the most like it was Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Indianapolish.

Yeah, I like that area of the country.

It's people are so smart, they're so like ready to have a good time. It was Saint Patrick last night, Saint Patrick's Day, Indianapolis, and we were totally prepared for it to be a shit show, right, and it was one of the best shows we've ever had. Yeh was amazing.

I think that I get the false because I based so many cities on the comedy club. Yeah, and I don't think the crackers in Indianapolis. And for the longest time I thought the neon picture behind me was Hitler. I know that, uh that Charlie Chaplin and Hitler of course had the same mustange should say, very hitlery looking. Charlie Chaplin, that is behind you a cracker?

Did they give Charlie Choplin like long things, because that's not the same.

It's just what.

He's doing with his arm, just straight up killing the king. No, I'm kidding, it's just they ca they just leaned a little ad off feet and yeah, you don't like that, I mean no, one doesn't right now announced now as a podcast, we really don't like Hitler.

We fucking hate Hitler. He's the worst. He's the worst. His followers suck.

He's the king of dicks.

Yeah, because some of his followers are still around.

He's the king of dicks. There they some of his Yeah, let's let's not go into Nazism.

Oh yeah it will. That's halfway podcast.

Here's the good news, here's the exact opposite of Hitler.

Yes.

In the meet and greet Pittsburgh, I met a woman named Carrie who grabbed my arm and said, please don't stop doing do you need a ride? And then I grabbed her arm set back and said, we won't, but it's going to be late this week. Yeah, yeah, so please Carrie forgive us. But she knew first she always at least she knew. Yeah, other people didn't know. The other people may have panicked. Carrie was sitting back in

Oh that's so great.

So that was from Amanda. Isn't that the nicest gift? I was like, ooh, yeah it is. And we could utilize that today. Yeah, not during after the podcast. Yes, ye's util of the fucking lies about it. I'm out of my mind, by the way. Sorry, No, I'm so fucking tired. I think I slept for two hours last night.

It's okay. It makes for good.

I think it makes for because your brain is its back is against the wall.

Your back's brain is against the wall, that's right, And.

It makes you blurt, it makes you admit things you didn't even want to talk about.

And I can't wait to get into it.

It's podcasting gold What are the darkest things you did on your trip?

So much dark shit? Oh my god? Oh it went it went so dark. No, it was actually beyond delightful. I'd never been to Pittsburgh and it is a lovely town. Have you been there? Done comedy there?

Yeah? I was suddenly mugged there. But I'm not going to blame the whole city. Okay. I enjoyed the people at the shows.

It's just did someone just lightly reach into your pocket and take your money?

He had a shadowy thing that could be a gun, but even if it was, I didn't want to.

I just gave him some money.

Oh good.

And then well, you know I always go blue, but it really did that happen? And then after that I shouted my pants and as a joke, Greg Barent, who I was opening for at the time, had they just had at the Kiosk where they had sundrys at the hotel. They had something called oops and it was a little puck but oops and it was emergency underwear. No, And we laughed at that, and he bought one and threw it in my bag and then I indeed, I indeed needed the oops later on, I didn't see it till I got home.

Oh that's crazy.

So yeah, I'm I got plenty of sleep, and I just admitted that I shirded my pants.

I listen everyone in there. I think everyone's done it.

I think so.

But just walking around after mugging, like usually you have to be driving or in some.

Well, I guess I was.

Yeah, it was.

It was an adrenaline scared out. I bet it isn't too weird that I'm wearing sunglasses. I can't Did you injure your eye?

Or were you winking at me?

I just lifted my sunglasses and gave a wink.

Can you remove your sunglasses? Just to make sure you're still Peter Falk?

Okay, check, No, it's so bright out here, it's like it's killing my eyeball.

Well, let's make you feel better. If we're both dual dual Roy Orbison.

We're dual douchebags here in Los Angeles. What have you been doing? I have been moving. I found a place that after applying. I applied for one place that I thought was great, but it turns out it was just a.

Man who figured out the code to the key box and pretended to be a realtor. No, I think he sent me an application. I filled it out, and then he tried to open credit cards in my name. No, so I alerted the credit bureaus and the UH rental place stumbled upon that same apartment legitimately for rant On Zillow.

That's what tipped me off.

And then he had even stolen their logo, like they were called Stern Realty. He called his son Realty or whatever, and he had the balls to use their logo. But he showed me the apartment, but all he had was my social Security number in my address.

But you can open credit.

Cards with just those two bits of infos. Yeah, yeah, there crucial anyway. So I've been I went through the ring or looking for a place, but I finally found a place in Can we pause it for one sec?

Yes? Yes, you you had an interaction with a con man. Yes, like it wasn't you. It wasn't some you know, like blank person on the internet. Guy showed you the.

Apartment, he didn't show he Maybe I am a little to blame, but this the one I legitimately got worked the same way. It's just go look at it and there's no I will email you the application.

Oh okay, so he didn't. He wasn't there walking walking me through. That's great.

He somehow learned the key to show it was in a lock box and he knew that, so he went and saw it himself and memorized the code. I'm sure it happens all the time. Uh wow. And I talked to him on the phone a lot, though, and there were some him having the address wrong was the first indicator. It was like, I went to five five eight and it was not the house. He's like, yes it is. I'm like, no, No. I talked to the owner and they said five five nine. I'm like, well that's a different address.

Yeah.

But you know, you got to kind of kick kiss these people's asses. It's like a job interview. And I'm like, oh, honest, mistake.

That's true. They do have it over you, especially in LA these days, yeah, where it's hard to find an apartment, like they have all the power.

And this the place that I got. I squatted in the rain. I'm like, I'm not leaving, here's the money, here's the application. I want this place. And I think another guy was approved for it, but I came and took it away. So I'm a jerk too. We're all terrible people.

I mean, look, it's it's a doggie dog out there in the apartment.

It is a Michael Vick dog fight out there. And I and but I love this place.

Should you go over there?

Should I not go on the freeway?

It's so stopped, It is so very much do this way, okay, even though it's dangerous and scary. Oh my gosh, everyone's going so fast. I'm that person that is in the Oh look.

At me go.

This is horrifying. No one cares about me. They are all going so fast. I'm sorry that I've put us in this state.

No, no, no, I think I feel I did too.

That was just you guys median triangles where you're oh, I'm surprised we didn't have to lamb into a couple of barrels of water, you know how sometimes you have those orange barrow But I was, man, that was an adrenaline.

Are you all right? Well?

You know that I we're in more danger of dying with me behind the wheel. That's been a step.

Long established Stephens. These are for you. These are all the live shows Sorry, it's not a present. Sorry. The black one is the one from last night. Vin says, you should have all the other ones. Okay, awesome, thank you, love recording.

I got a gift cards. Yeah, so I started. It's this apartment is very roomy. It's got a giant It's plenty of room for me.

Sorry, did.

I echo park? So I can.

You're coming from the east side.

I'm in I'm in it, baby, Chris, I'm in it.

I'm I'm It's intimidatingly hip and happening where I'm at.

Awesome.

I walk around.

I'm like, I feel like everyone's dad. I feel like everyone's in their twenties. And I'm like, oh, I'm not. I should have done this ten years ago, right, it's not too late. I'm just by all these hip eateies.

Yes, you love eateries.

I love eateries.

I love being hip, and yeah, it's just the best.

But I did have The moving process was going up forty stairs like a walkway of cement stairs staggered groups of six to ten stairs.

But so my refrigerator, things.

Like that were who moved those? I hired a moving boy. There's a moving boy that lives he's a young young boy with a strong back, and he owns a sprinter van. He's actually thirty one, okay, but he has the energy of a boy. Because man, did we we move and then we moved every thing up these stairs and it was a lot of work. I was sore the next day, like I'd been beat up. Oh by a group of men. Oh, look at that Mercedes just over the media. Yeah, he drew, he decided to do that.

He did.

Actually, I'm okay with it now that I'm looking at it.

It's kind of cool. Yeah, So that was a bad as Mercedes.

So the first day I take out my garbage, I realized there's an alley behind my apartment that I could have parked and moved level ground, moved everything twenty feet.

No, yeah, that's heartbreaking.

Yeah it was.

I just laughed.

Okay, good.

I had to call and tell the mover. You know, there's an alley. That's horrible. I didn't know that there was an alley, a wide paved Gary level level street on top.

Of the hill. So I live on a hill. I'm that's fine.

Around my trees. I'm nowhere near a street except for that alley.

That's great.

And it's quiet, like I'm in a cabin somewhere, yet I'm in the middle of Angela.

That's beautiful.

I'm so excited.

Is it an apartment? Is it like a freestanding building?

It is an apartment, but it's connected to one other unit. Okay, so it's got a little corey or three other it's like a horseshoe shaped three units. And I have my own garage. I have my own garage.

Oh so okay, because you said that about having Stephen like switching cars, and I thought you.

Meant in my new place has a garage. That's how impossible it is to find a garage. You can be looking based.

On I need a garage, never find an I need a garage.

Yes I did? And did I find one?

Yes I did.

That's your new podcast. Do I need a garage?

I'm gonna do it in there alone.

And just yell yes over and over.

I'm so excited. And I've just been running around in my underwear. There's no roommates. I don't live with another grown man.

It's just the.

Best, but I do miss I've gotten lonely a couple of times.

It's you know, it's a solitary life sometimes, but it's good to get used to having fun living alone.

And doing things like playing Solitaire on my computer.

Yeah, which I got to get into, right you could.

Also you have to and also you have to listen to the song Solitaire by Laura Brannigan. I don't know why the the hiccups all of a sudden.

Yeah, I'm will hold it against you. It's a bodily function. You actually made the hick noise kind of like Andy cap Oh, I'm.

Really drunk.

Those even if you quit drinking those those some of those airlines personnel. Why do I always forget I don't want to say stewardess because because the language attendant attendant, the language keeps changing and we have to evolve with it. Otherwise you're gonna make some skywaititress pissed.

Whoops. Oh oh, here come the letters piling up around us. Inside the car, they were.

All saying, this is what I want for Christmas, Danta.

Oh this is the wrong car. This isn't Santa's car. Sorry, so I beg you. There's people who listen to this podcast who are like, it's I don't care when you chew them. I don't care. When you swallow your weird book right, because you treat me I'm not professional.

I almost drive into a freeway median again to scare them out of you.

Yeah, trying to scare me. Just try to scare me verbally? What can you think of.

Ten years at best left to live?

Karen? You know that funny that make me laugh? I was pretty much figuring that anyway that was based Please, that was based in reality. You're not seeing the future, No, no, not yet. Someone should tell me I have to wear white jeans outside today?

That was Labor Day.

When's Labor Day?

Is it Labor Day? White jeans before Labor Day? And then afterwards and just all the time.

I did see and I think it was in retaliation of Saint Patrick's Day. Yesterday I saw a group wearing all white. They were all just dressed like Andrew WK oh cool. And I think that it was them saying, hey, we don't like green, we like white.

Or it could have been a bunch of bakers just hanging out after work.

And I'm like, and I you bet I pinched them all.

It's so fun.

Can you imagine if you actually pinched people in twenty nineteen, if anyone had pinched you yesterday.

You would have sued them.

Call HR yep.

So this is over not the human researchers, but the lead singer at Bad Brains.

Call HR.

Right. If someone's like this, like giving you the pincher fingers, you just scream times up, motherfucker. It's a bit because look, pinching needs to be out out of the culture entirely. Little kids don't like it. No one your hot secretary does not, does not like it, never has and.

I don't even the only person that likes it is that grandma who wants a piece of your fucking cheek meat.

Yeah she's not the receiver though.

No, she's the giver.

She's the giver of pain.

Does it feel good to pinch people? I guess no.

No. If I think backed, I don't know that I've ever pinched. It doesn't feel good to pinch people. But I will say this because you can't feel it. It feels like no matter what you do, you're not you can't pinch enough.

Someone pinches you on the weenus. You know, your extra skin on your elbow called the weenus.

Did you know that that's when its call?

I did not weenus?

It seems like a little kid peepe name, but it's your loose elbow skin. Oh you can pick Yeah, I can bite that shit.

You won't feel it.

You know what's funny if you I'm saying Patrick's say, you're not wearing greenal bite your weenus this off. I kind of enjoy it.

And emmy of me.

I had a boyfriend once who who used to who once told me, he goes, you know, you can bite my knuckle and I won't feel it, and he would be he would just go, like the round, so I'll let me bite as hard as I could on his knuckle.

Really the skin, yeah, the skin, not the bone nothing.

It was like he would curl his index finger in and then like on that first knuckle, just bite down.

And he felt like you need it. It's like, oh I can oh boy, oh boy, yeah, I'm not sure. I love biting knuckles.

It's funny. Now. I don't know how it came. It made sense at the time.

You've been on a that says I love it when you have no sleep because you start talking about this knuckle biting stuff, you're deep dark seek.

This is how dark kick.

I used to bite my boyfriend's knuckles.

Someone needs a nap. Scandalous.

Yeah, really seemed normal until I just said it out loud and I was like, oh, that's right.

No, I I love that antecdote.

It was an offer from him. It wasn't my idea. Yeah, But then once once I did it, I was like, yes, I'm.

Going to do at this time.

No, this honestly was like two years ago.

Oh wow, it's very recent. Oh it's the same though. It's like a mini witous. There your little knuckle skinned flap. Yeah, I imagine an elephant, since you know how your knuckles look like a little elephant knees.

Yes, I bite.

Elephants bite each other on the knees.

Oh would't that'd be cut? That would be the most.

They're already enjoyable enough protecting their young, getting concerned when baby I will go down a spiral watching elephant babies tip over and the parent going, oh, no, are you okay in helping them them up? The human parents barely do that.

I know. I know. There's and also elephants look like they're like sad and understanding at the same time, So then there's this kind of it's a there's a built in poignant seat. Even if they could be two total asshole elephants. They can get worst people in the neighborhood.

Right, you can still be like, h you know how you can judge people by their eyes. Elephants you never know in that mouth are they smiling? Are they sad? It's like a mona Lisa mouth.

It's so true. And also when they grab a head of let and then they feed it to themselves.

They grab heads of lettuce, oh, with their own nose. Yeah, their nose.

As a well as a feeder.

Their nose is a fifth feeder.

And some elephants paint with their nose.

That's true, Chris. And this morning on the show, we have one such a bit. Maybe Yeah, if I wasn't hiccupping, I give you my newscaster character.

It's great. It just sounds like we're hitting potholes.

You know what's funny. We were in Indianapolis. The woman who came to pick us up from the theater, her name is Hannah, and she's the first thing she said was sorry about all the potholes. Then I realize I remembered when she said that that someone else made talked about how about the potholes were in Pittsburgh, does everyone.

Work for the city there, Why would you?

I think this is a national infrastructure issue where like these things aren't getting taken care of.

The way they You see, everyone's been hit hard precipitation wise, be it frozen, be it wet. Yes, it's extreme weather immediately effect. So wherever you are right now, we are sorry about your specific cities pothole.

And sinkholes, which I get every time a sinkhole opens up in any city across America. I get tweeted too.

Sinkholes across America have been swallowing buicks and other cars.

It doesn't have to be a.

Buick, any car American made, dammit domestic or foreign, foreign or domestic enemies.

I used to snowboard on a live volcano known as Mount Bachelor in Bend, Oregon.

Which is it is such an obvious volcano.

The top of it has a cone shaped hole from the recent well one hundred years ago at blue shit, and there's like any day now it's going to blow again. It is not a good idea to have a ski area on this mountain. That's what all these smart scientists say. Yeah, but you you could be traversing and going kind of slow and just fall into a sinkhole there was, and you'd be surrounded by rocks and steam from volcanic activity.

Are you serious? Yes?

I saw it happen and had to pull a friend out.

And there was you saw down in there and it was volcanic inside.

Well it was rock, you know. There was just no snow down there. It's where it's just bare dark volcan type rock. Wow, the mountain is a volcano. I mean people have died that way while skiing. Ye, fallen sinkholes. I think bachelor. I not a bachelor, but I heard about it happening at Tahoe. Yeah, oh I bet. I mean these sinkholes. It's an issue in this country, and it's an issue on the streets. We'll bring it back to what we were talking about.

Piece in the streets. Everybody peace out. Let's come on, Hey we should I'm going to look and see if there's a Starbucks we.

Can oh yeah, yeah, we can utilize our new card if I think there's one coming up on the right.

Really, you know this city well enough? Where are we?

Oh, Alhambra girl, No we're not.

I don't know what the parts of town.

I just wanted to say it we're nol Hombro.

I had a show last night in Arroyo, and I typed Arroyo and it looked like it was three hours away, and I'm like, oh man, I'm going to some desert community. But it's just the name of a golf course in South Pasadena. Oh, that's okay. It was a fun time.

Oh good, Yes, you did comedy there on Saint Patrick's Day.

Oh yeah, I got a little juice Lucy and I did some drunken jokies night.

Yeah, it was fun. That is fun.

Yeah, okay, it's.

So fun to be around you drunk like this.

Wait what.

Wait are you I'm not drunk?

No, no, where, You're in your new apartment.

Yes, let's talk about it more.

I guess I want to ask this question correctly, but like, are there comedy shows that you can just run down and do the nearby?

Totally?

Yes, I've never The very first show I've ever walked to was Good Heroin on Friday Night. I've never walked to a comedy show before. I love that in Venice fifteen years. Even the handful of shows there, they aren't walking distance. I can think of a handful right now. Off the top of my head that are now I could do somersaults. I wouldn't even need to walk.

Yeah, because also there's the and if you go up the street, there's there's the one at.

That bar, a Little Joy.

Yes, yes, I could walk to Little Joy.

So far, I've gone there to see if there's a show and then just handed me a whiskey. I've been celebrating being in that part of town.

You should a little too much.

No, you should. I am in dangerous proximity to some very fun watering holes. Now that I'm in the thick of it, we're going to see big things from Fairbanks coming from Eco Park.

You better get ready for our banks to really you better get your signature hand ready. You better get all your shirts ironed.

I do believe you mean my autograph?

Yes, thank you, Yes, that's what I'm in.

Do you ever have.

Karen?

Karen, never eat at.

A place and then when the waiter a waitress comes over and says can you put your autograph here?

And you have to correct them, But you don't.

Right because you're like, no, I would like to give someone my autograph for christ sake.

If they say that, I just yeah, you just do it.

You say with pleasure. It's why I moved to this town fifteen years ago with nothing but a smile and a dream.

With pleasure, Virginia Slims, Should I do it?

Yeah? I think good? You could? You could go to the right right, Yeah.

You're yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just like kind of driving like a madman.

No, we just go straight up. So it's fine.

It's so funny that i'm it's every time i'm being I realize how much better you are. You're really good at podcasting and driving.

But it's because women are Our brains are built a multitask because of the children.

It's true, the children. You never you got one on each breast. You're making an.

Egg and driving.

Yeah, it's dangerous. Why the unicycle in the kitchen?

There's too much nursing around these eggs?

That mother, Well, I'm a terrible mother and a terrible husband who made me that green god? Oh god, I stop at green lights.

You're stopping because you're making a point. Okay, everyone, hold on, because I'm about to tell you that I press.

On the brakes whenever a sentence has a period, like, what the hell is wrong with me? Oh? Because that's dangerous to it looks like I'm giving that guy a chance to turn.

And then I'm like, never.

Mind, no, never mind. I just remember. I remember I was driving.

I was gonna say, who made me that? I'm a terrible husband?

Drawing? That was an intricate you. You wouldn't remember that.

And this, look at these nights. It's right here? Who made me these bookmarks? Jackie? Thank you for the bookmarks?

Let me see. Just pick them up and look at yourself.

Yeah, there's Dina.

Oh these are beautiful. I'm gonna take one because I need a im reading. I just started a new book.

I just bought a book and it's for It's called Strange World, straight god whatever. It's a book with the word strange in it. I read the jacket and I'm like, that sounds like it's for me. And it's for the reading level of a seventeen year old.

Strange World.

Yeah, I think it's called strange World. Oh no, I was in the stories I showed up. It's a good heroin early and I'm like, I should buy a book.

Well, that's good.

I have these bookmarks, and I have a reading chair. I have a big apartment. I could read.

Oh I didn't realize you're going to be like that.

Now I am going to be like that. There's scary to notice a lot of changes around.

Here, Karen, I'm picking. I think I might pick this one. With the Barn, I.

Have like a fainting couch.

I have a chase lounge. I might be laying on that fainting Yeah. Well, whenever I get the vapors.

Hey, Jackie, I'm going to take I don't know if I'm yikey, are you listening, Jackie, I'm going to take the barn bookmark because I love it.

But that doesn't say Dinah on it.

I know, but I'm on the podcast, so I don't need.

A reminder of that my podcast.

Okay, you know what I mean? That's very right.

And the times that I've worn my own Dinar shirt or Fairbanks shirt, people will call me out and I'm like, what it's what, It's a shirt I designed. I'm not I'll wear my shirt designs. But sometimes if they have your name, then you're a little you're being a little weird.

Well yeah, I think that's the that's the thing where I think people go like, I love your thing, and so here's like, here's what I would wear, but I'm going to give it to you, right, even though then I want to go, but I'm not going to wear a thing of my own thing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm from the nineties where you would literally man or woman be beaten up for wearing a thing of your own thing. You had to like act like you didn't care in.

The in the just on the heels of the late eighties, I think it was actually it could have been ninety ninety one. My friend Ian Lovely, who is from Loveland, Colorado.

Really my dad worked with a man named Tom Lovely, really good friends for years.

Ian's dad is named Tim Tim Lovely. Do you think Tom Lovely is Tim Lovely's long lost brother?

I would love it or maybe very close brother, and we just have never made this. Lovely is not a common name, and a really good one. I'm going to go ahead and say right now that Tom and Timmer brothers. Anyway, there, kid, Ian was my buddy. Okay, so Ian's basically my cousin.

Anyway, go ahead, Ian, your cousin was an amazing skateboarder.

He's a funny friend.

He was like in those in like the eighth grade, and he would get at the fair you can get a photographic picture of your face like they and they would emblazing it on our shirts. Green printed on our shirt. So he just had his hair was green. He had a picture of him on his shirt with green hair, but he was wearing a white shirt in the photo. So it's just a floating head of what what's directly above exactly the same had genius and for some reason, it what's the funniest thing in the world.

It is. Yeah, it's like how when STEVEO on the Red Carpet revealed that he had a tattoo of his own face on his back.

I mean, that is such a that then that that's like, well, that's premeditated, almost narcissistic, that's crazy.

But it's a celebration of the celebration of your face.

He did it as a joke.

And it's it's a big face. I mean, it's ludicrous. I just love that guy. He's so just like, who gives a shit.

I like him more and more now he's become a total sweetheart and he cares about things.

When I met him, he was very drunk.

Yeah, and and my friend Ryan used to do things with him, like when he was farting flames out of his butt or whatever. Ryan would be jumping over him on a skateboard. Sure Line's from Montana And we met them at the Rainbow Room and Steve O was having drinks and buying food for everyone, and then we went to at the Key Club. We walked down there was a pimp and Ho tall I think you told me about this, yes, where he just started peeing on the red carpet and Ryan was filming him and the pea

They're celebrating, they're doing it.

They have working ladies under them that they probably slap around.

Yeah, it's not the greatest thing to celebrate, but at the same time, you don't pee.

On there are other people just being no God, And I remember watching him p on the red carpet with his shirt off and on his stomach. He had a a crip and blood tattoo of theater masts, like a sad face and a happy face. But one was the crips and one was the bloods, and it was they were intertwined, and maybe it was showing them together.

It was just a comedy tattoo, right.

But there was in I know that there was Grip and Blood affiliated fellas of course standing right there and watch and they were going to kill him until one of them was like, oh that's this is a guy from MTV or what like, And then all of a sudden, I just watched his fame get him out of being murdered. Yes, and then they carried him off and he got to go in for free. And we didn't even get entry. I didn't get to go to the pimp and hoe Ball, but I don't think I wanted to.

Well, yeah, I think that he would have felt a little bit out of place.

Problem.

I love hose.

It doesn't matter. They don't want either. It's not your time, white boy.

What if I'm a John?

What if I'm any John's invite into this pimp and hoe ball.

Having money? Like how did a classic John.

Thirty five dollars walking around.

At a sucker suit like John here read it for some hoes.

Ready a promenade with the pimps on the hose. There's in the nineties. I really fucking hated promenade, Like yeah, yeah, that's how I've watched.

He's standing in between.

Yeah, waving. You're waving cash like you're at a parade. But listen, there's on a couple of different websites there's they've been doing that for a while, and so they have pictures of those from New York City in the seventies when it was like the real fucking deal pimp and balls.

Yes, yeah, that's not a phrase I'm coming up with. I hope no one thinks I use the word.

We thought you organized this, We thought this was yours.

I early on did the social media, but it's back in the flip phone day. It's all I did is text some people's beepers, guys, show up, please show up, and don't come strapped.

I would always say, in all caps.

Don't come strapped. But the thing I was going to say is it feels to me like that is a perfect example, separate from what the event was. Steve O was in this position, and I think it's why celebrities go crazy because they the world becomes unreal because they can do whatever they want, right because he has a fucking crip and blood tattoo, theater mass tattoo, which is

I am really impressed with his recovery and how much he's changed. Like he went from getting a smiley face tattooed on his back from a bumpy car.

Right, he has like a.

Indian ink doorbell motor prison tattoo on his head.

That's a joke.

I mean I have a joke tattoo also of a band aid. I mean I got a little Steve o in sure.

No, I'm not saying I'm not good enough.

And now he's I'll go to his Instagram and he's like he went to some foreign country. He found a dog on the street, brought it to the vat and it's his dog. Now he saw these like feral dogs. I can't remember where they were, Venezuelas, Colombe, but yeah, he just need that's his dog now and he was sleeping in a tent with him like crazy jackass stuff but out of sweetness.

Yes. Also his face and I know this is very like his face is the face of a boy I would have loved in third grade. Yeah, I can't explain it, but like, so I used to watch that the show.

Are you going to talk about eyebrows?

Now?

Have those eyebrows that's concerned elephant eyebrows that Timoth has? Or no, Timothy?

No? You know what I want to talk about is the show that him and Chris Ponchas did.

A mild Boy.

Yes, I was. It got me through like it got me through some very dark time. Really, yes, because I just stumbled on it one day and it was like I was like, what the hell are they doing?

Yeah, that's the show he was doing during this Pimp and Hobaalt. That's what one of the pimps recognize him from.

Okay, because it was that show was amazing. They were the perfect combination and they really I think the first the reason I started watching it the first time is because he was supposed to be bungee jumping off this really tall bridge and he didn't want to do it, and they were just making him do it. He was really mad. It was so funny. And then he did it. It was super scary. I think he he bungee jumped, but it was like just around his ankle or some

I around my ankles. They asked me how much I weighed. I was like, wait, if it's that close, I don't want to I'm one fifty five. And he's like, oh, okay, that's the They had a bunch of different lengths and strengths of bungee.

Yeah.

We climbed up onto this train trestle.

It was so illegal that someone on a scope was looking down the tunnel to see if a train was coming, oh and the other direction, and a train did come. We had to gather everything and hide under the bridge. But it was I dove off. It was connected to my ankles and I dipped. They said, do you want to dip in the water. It's four hundred feet and I and my head, just my head dipped in the water. And then and then they gradually and I didn't want to do it either. It was horrifying. It felt just

I would how you do the second? Right? Again? That's nute.

I hope I haven't told that story before, but no, I've never heard that was And then at the end they're like, who wants to shoot Noozy? Where we sh Trucky, California?

You were just were you at like a white trash camp?

I was, no, it was very Yes, it was the entire town is, yes, but you know they got some trash mixed with that class. Listen, there was snowboarder people. You know, my old mind. Oh okay, And but yes, I did not want to shoot Newsy. I just want to put that on record.

Yeah, I think that's good. I think that's a good call.

Yeah, an automatic weapon against a rock wall. That's how that the wife died. In Legends of the Fall, remember.

They shot news Ye?

Why they shot? Was it Legend of the Fall? Yeah? It was Brad Pitt just married this beautiful Native American woman and then these guys shot these bootleggers or someone shot against this wall and one ricocheted and killed us.

It was so sad. She went, oh god, oh no, I know.

I didn't mean to ruin this episode.

No, no, you didn't. You just ruined Legends of the Fall. Why was the freeway so fucking pact on a Monday morning? I was that commute traffic?

I don't know, but it really took its toll on me emotionally. And Stephen was before we started recording. I was not.

I didn't have any chill.

Oh no. And I apologize Stephen. Sometimes I'm only in a good mood. Wow, wear podcast.

That's why I podcast. Yeah, just so I can enjoy myself for that one hour a day.

That's how I was last night.

I was not wanting to do stand up.

I didn't want drive to the show. I didn't. And then while I'm on stage, I'm like, this is fun.

Yes, it's just it's just our weird personalities.

Wow. How close was I to hitting that bus?

Not? You know you were about two feet?

Yeah?

No bit, Yeah yeah, I don't care about this car. No, go ahead and hit me your big yellow bus.

Especially now that you're an east side or where who can walk in your cool shoes everywhere?

Oh god, you're right, I do I notice while moving that I do have a lot of cool shoes.

Mister cool shoes is what I call you.

Behind you that you could do anything, but don't call me mister coool shoes. One of the better things about actually moving was throwing away a lot of things.

I needed to do that.

And it's a cleansing thing, you're supposed to do it.

What was the hardest thing to throw away?

The drill that my mother gave my dad. But it doesn't work, and it had a it's an old drill, and it would shock.

It would literally shock my hands like it was dangerous.

Yes, I had to like take the cord and wrap it around the drill to make it work. It's like, okay, this is a liability.

Yes it was.

It was only protected. I didn't have let black electricians tape. I was using white masking tape. No, it doesn't doesn't keep you from getting electrocuted.

No, I think it might encourage it.

I think it.

Taunts electrication, challenges it to So you.

Got rid of the drill. I think that's good. Your your mom would it would be looking down saying yeah, good call, yes, yeah, don't we'll fucking electrocute yourself. For Christ's sake.

Oh god, I just realized sound nowhere her. I have her ashes somewhere I got unpacked. Still I still have to unpack everything.

Is it? Were they her in your apartment?

I don't know.

I don't want to talk about it. I don't I know.

I'm sorry.

I think they are.

They are.

They got to be. I moved everything and you have it. So how many boxes do you have left to unpacked?

I still have my the base boards or whatever of my garage lined with with unessential boxes. Okay, bookshelves, and I still have to do my walls.

I'm gonna.

I was watching True Romance and Michael rappaportd pit in it have a Hawaii wall where it's just a wallpaper sheet of a photo of.

Like and I found one online. I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna have a Hawaii wall.

Yes, yes, that's the best idea.

And in my room I found a evergreen, hazy forest photo and I'm doing that in my bedroom.

Oh wait a second, I'm.

Just gonna have this apartment that's built for someone to come and trip on mushrooms man.

Yes, dude, let's go draggling man. Also, but also that sounds like fun for a party too.

Oh yeah, yeah, it's as soon as I get to know my neighbors. I think there's some young kids that live across from me that I think. It seems like this complex has been people that have lived there for years. Yeah, like O g Echo park folks.

That's cool.

And then so I made sure to introduce myself to everyone and befriend all the pit bulls. Good, and I think that I'm okay with the neighbors. I think that they like me good. Like, Hey, I'm Chris. I just moved in. If you ever need some sugar or you're making a pie.

You don't, don't overdo it. I shouldn't have Oh they're all diabetic.

If you ever need anything, oh am I about to provide examples.

And then they're like every time you were walking up the front walk, they're like, oh, look at mister exampless here.

Yeah, yeah, hey, mister sugar pie, fancy shoes. It's the kind of guy that's ruining this neighborhood.

I think it's exciting that you're in such a new social situation that you didn't have even in play before. Right, that's very cool, Like you always forget that where. Yeah, I've lived in a house. I've had my old, racist, crabby neighbor on one side and my cool neighbor on the other side, and that's it. Like that. I love the idea that that could change.

Yeah, yeah, I am going to miss my room. I am going to miss my my my courtyard. People. They're like sad to see me.

Go.

Sure, I do want to have a party and invite all of them, like a housewarming thing. And my neighbor Sylvia said I should register. She's like, do a registry for your party to get toasters and stuff, and like, don't you have to be getting married?

Yes you do.

I think so too. But she's sweet and suggestion.

You know what she is.

She's actually hiccups.

You done. I switched mine over to you.

You can do that.

You can transes because I tried to do that with my Spectrum wireless bill.

Can you switch this over to my roommate?

That's their new commercial. Is easy as giving hiccups to the other person in the carless.

Wireless handon over hiccups.

You know how easy that is? And then seven examples from mister examples. I wish I wish there was a drive through Starbucks near here.

Oh yeah, I thought we were.

We were on the street we were on, which turned out to be this is Fairfax, But I thought we were over on the part that turns into Highland, which then I knew where there was one.

Since we are close to halfway ear if not more, do you feel like we can make it all the way home? Yeah, yeah, for sure, because you don't want to. I bet you don't want to take a nap when.

You give me, Yeah, I don't. I actually don't want coffee. I'm addicted to going to Starbucks.

Isn't that funny?

I just want to go there. This morning I went and just out of tea because it was like it was fucking five in the morning. It was, you know, five point thirty in the morning, so I was like, I can't drink coffee right now. I should be sleeping, so I got a tea instead. But it's just the ritual of it that's funny.

I think I am. I am guilty of that as well. I do go there and I'm like, wait, I don't need coffee, but it'll give me my leg shakes, right, and they'll be kicking around.

And you have to remember, which I think a lot of people. Coffee has really been shoved down our throats for hundreds of years. Tea is really the shit. It's medicine. It's like herbs and like plants and shit, and it's good for you.

I've been meaning to get into tea.

Let's get you into some east Side teas.

I really oh some of those east Side tees. I love Eastern tea medicine.

I really want to though.

I've been meaning to do that. Yeah, And I've been meaning to buy picture frames. There's a lot of things I'm going to start doing.

You must have a list, yeah, a moving list. It's so hard to move. I'm glad you have gotten it done.

Yeah, it was a it was a you know, I was I had a place I was just going to hand move into the next unit, and it didn't work out, and so I uh suddenly had to find a place.

I was under the wire.

Yeah.

I did it in like ten days, and half those days I.

Was on the road.

So I'm amazing.

I allow me to brag a little.

You shouldn't because I remember you saying that, but you were right or left here. You could go straight.

I think I will go straight.

You should and actually we'll go over Laurel.

Canyon, which is pretty Can my car handle it?

I think? So you drop it down into second gear.

Yeah, yeah, maybe I will. I met eighty percent oil life. It's that worth mentioning.

Oh no, it's just okay. Pull over.

At one point, my neighbor and one of the neighbors I won't be seeing, she had me jumpstart car, a car that her son often slept in, and I didn't ground. I didn't. I forget how to ground a car when you're supposed to take I don't know. Anyway, it blew some fuse and so all my lights on the dash, everything alarming is of the of the brake system, the break, the break being on the abs, whatever that is.

They're all lit up.

They're all lit up.

Just learn to ignore them.

You're taking a left hare I am, indeed.

Yeah, yeah, that's you know that. I've driven lots of cars over the years that needed to be jump started, so I've had lots of experiences with jumper cables, and one time, standing there, I was just kind of like who I was waiting for the other person. They hooked it up and then I was like saying something and I just let the two hit wow, and was like, got this huge jolt. It was hilarious. But then I was just like, okay, anyway.

Your hands were on the rubber or was it.

They didn't, Yeah, because I think it came through a little bit because they can't touch each other.

No, no, no, that's the bad. I've never done that.

Yeah, it was pretty strong.

I'm bad at I'm starting cars. I think I just I'm like green or that's green. I think green is evolved. That's not bad. That's how bad. I do red and then red, and then I do black, and then I put black right on the post and there's always a spark and I kind of WinCE a little. Yeah, but nothing really bad has ever happened.

But boy, it's scary.

I may have done some damage to my car's computer, I'll be honest.

Yeah, I wonder if they can just reset it. If it's one of those kind of things.

I could reset it by simply welcome to car talk. By taking uh one of my battery posts off and just letting the battery be unplugged for a little while.

That'll reset.

Okay, if you ever need to reset your car's computer, go ahead and none do the battery take that from me, a guy who doesn't know shit.

And do it for sure.

But I've been meaning to do that. I haven't done that.

I feel like I've been gone so long it's like tripping me out.

It has been.

All these apartment buildings look beautiful.

It's you.

They've rejuvenated them over the past week. Oh, looks so nice, reve renovated, rejuvenated.

You know. So I'm also looking for a new place to live. But you are, yes, but just taking it real, easy, peasy, like you're a homeowner. I know I'm going to own a different home.

Oh that's great, I know.

I'm excited.

Is it because you have a swimming pool and you feel like you don't.

Use it enough?

Into it?

No, my dogs won't, George, I've tried to pull her into that.

Sonarzing that they don't want to swim. I thought all dogs kind of were interested in water.

I would choo, especially because she's like a hound. But I think she had I think she had a bad water experience, like as a puppy. I think she was like alone on the streets in Hesperia, which is where she was found. I think she had bad experiences and has a weird personality has a puppy.

Just fell into a deep puddle.

Yeah, nobody pulped her. Then I just start crying.

You need some sleep?

Why did anybody helme?

My point being, dogs get traumatized.

No, what was it before? It was? Oh, looking for a new house. Yes, like I love Laurel Canyon. This is where we're driving right now. But he's just listening, just passing Kirkwood. It's so pretty and it's like seventies la and like when you go up into these side streets, there's some houses that are just like it's like Neil Young style, like Joni Mitchell shit, and it's cool.

Yeah, like hanging over this street. Yeah, but it wouldn't be that fun.

I was supposed to live no traffic, well not on Laurel Canyon, I think, because this traffic never stops but up like talked away except when it rains, which now we know everything's super weather, Like Laurel Canyon will just be one big mud slide and you kind of can't do.

Any example right there.

Yes, it happens all the time. Wow, I know.

So, so we're you're not going to move to this area then?

No, I think I'm gonna I'm not sure. I'm just kind of wherewhere it's.

Hard to do it by I mean, I looked at places in your area. I looked at tried to find other places in Venice. I wasn't opposed to staying there, and it just kind of worked out the Zycho Park place.

Yeah, that's great.

I'm real excited.

Sometimes I feel like things that when it works out the way it does, it's just that's how it's supposed to be. Like it's less about the choice you have and more just what's going to come up right and serve you up.

And nothing makes me roll my eyes more than when someone says, well, it was meant to be. But oftentimes that really is the case. And also sometimes it just it is what it is, even though when people say that I want to throw a firecracker.

In their mouth, it's true, But then it actually is what it is.

At the end of the day, it is what it is. The same old, same old.

Look, all things being the same, what's that one? All things being equal, all things considered, all things considered, I'm terry gross.

Oh, just terry disgusted. That is gross.

Now look at these potholes.

I am dodging them. We have invented the best video game. Yeah. Oh, I just got another parking ticket. Taxes are due.

Wait a second, I never paid that parking ticket, and now it's three times more expensive.

And that's why I'm losing power on the road. That's such a video game thing.

Losing power, Yeah.

Or that you can't buy a sword because you have a heart condition?

Zelda?

Is is that how that game went? I know nothing about any video game.

Yes, well, all of my knowledge is from early Nintendo, which I still have in the box with the gun and a copy of Duck Hunt. It's where it's a lot of money. Anyone out there looking are you?

Is it in now? In your new garage?

It is?

It is so No, I'm just going to break into your new garage.

They you don't know the address, lated friend. But in Zelda, yeah, he would go to a store and buy things like a shield or energy or oh okay. And I think that if he didn't have enough health, you can't go to the store. It's kind of like when you have the flu, you don't go clothes shopping. Yeah, it very Zelda was very true to life.

Yeah, I was going to say, what kind of store is that? Macy's.

No, it was.

I played the store owner in a live action It was called The Legend of Neil and uh and I get arrested by Kyle Kanayan who is a elf cop.

Huh uh.

It was a do you remember Legend of Neil Stephen Damen. It was very funny. I enjoyed it. Well, it's a guy. The TV show movie it was a Adam Film's series.

Web series.

Oh, a web series, I see, yeah.

Early Comedy Central Internet.

Yes, terrible. That was you know in one of the shows was that was on that channel, Jimmy the Pimp, And it was about a little like freckle faced white child, redheaded boy that was a bait, like a child pimp.

Wow.

And I remember when that came out and everyone's like, this is so funny. I'm like, it is not funny.

Are you talking about the movie Problem Child?

Kind of look that kid?

It was like urban. They were trying to be urban about Problem Child, which is offensive on about sixteen different levels.

Yeah, or one big one. Yeah. Wow.

I'm am I wrong to say that. It seems like everybody has trimmed back all of their foliage, Like everything's seems very nicely in the.

Six days you've been gone. Yes, I think there's been some ooh told.

You that man escaping total total modown over there.

I combined landscaping and mowing into manscaping. What do you think I love.

It's not a new word.

It certainly is.

I just came up with it.

Oh, I remember the old one.

It's me getting painfully waxed.

That's right. It's nice that you do that, though it's.

For the others.

It's for the visitors.

Welcome well, Christmas welcomed Lasered into his pubic area for the visitors, like a welcome for the paying customers.

There's a couple because I like to have people stand on my crash new bits.

I write that one down. I would write that one down if I were you. That's fun wonderful comedy everybody.

It's funny.

Yeah.

I always think of good jokes when I'm passing cops. Yeah, they put the heat on and then I deliver.

Yeah. Then you're like, guess what, I'm gonna kill you with comedy? So it's not real.

Yeah, it's not a recorded threat on an.

Officer that you've mad.

That wasn't That wasn't smart? O, Come on, everything we've done is fine.

Everything we do is great, positivity.

We haven't talked. I'm sad. Do you get sad? Yep, I do too.

It's very sad.

I miss like we miss our friend Brodie Stevens. He's the best. That's I just want to say that right now. Yeah, because I'm sure a lot of we haven't podcasted since he passed, and it's very sad. I didn't realize when someone dies there's the initial Like I saw picture posted of him and right away I was like, oh, he committed suicide. And I felt sad that I thought that, yes, and then and I felt sad that I was right.

Yes, when I'm reminding.

Myself to be positive and everything, and it's just so ironic that he was struggling so much. But hey, we're thinking of Brodie Stevens the end. I don't want to bump people out. No, I know saytimes I'm a bummer, but it is important well mention that it is really important.

But also I think also that idea. I think what makes it so touching is he was a person who struggled so much. With his mental health, struggled and struggled and really tried. And so yeah, his comedy, he would yell positivity and positive push and all this stuff, but it really was real because he needed to do that to get through every day. Yeah, and that's it's that's how a lot of people feel, and it's important, said. I don't know, I acknowledge it. I just think in retrospect,

Yeah. And I was the happiest I ever was to see him. Was I had When I worked at Fuel TV, I interview this skateboarder that was throwing a pitch that robbed her dick guy.

Yeah.

And so I was on the Dodger grass like I'd never been to the stadium, and I don't feel like I belonged there. I'm like, I should it should be illegal, and I'm here with a cameraman. But I always felt like we shouldn't be somewhere, right, but we had the credentials to be there. And then I off in the distance. I hear fair ranks and I look over and Brody

Yeah, that's that's him in a nutshell like he was. He had all these passions and it was comedy and baseball and you know, talking about his career. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what I found. Yeah, and it was I don't know that. The thing that got me was they retweeted that. The next day after he died, the Arizona State baseball team had a moment of silence before their game.

So did the Cubs, and they mentioned him a couple of times, oh not in a press conference and during a game. I don't know what his connection to the Cubs is.

I don't either, but it's that kind of thing of people. I don't think anybody understands how important they are to other people, Like it just makes me. It's so painful because it's like Brody would have loved it.

Oh yeah, he would have loved people. Yeah, he would have liked to know. Oh my god that they mentioned him. Yeah yeah, and thereon he went he played for them, right, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah it's uh it is too bad. Bad, it is bad.

Also, I uh just were lightly touching on bad things.

Sure, sure, we almost did in Alzheimer's podcast in the.

Beginning, I know. Oh sorry up there at that light, you're gonna go right, Oh thanks, yeah, that's right.

We had a lot and let me in. You got it, you got it?

Really yeah, of course you want to be on a like follow that guy?

Yeah?

Oh yeah, where after him?

Now?

Yes, what did he do?

Follow him?

Get him?

He just The thing I was going to say is I saw this video this morning on Twitter. I retweeted it because these students they were having a vigil for two there were two teenagers that were killed in the christ Church shooting and the school that they went to in New Zealand and the school that they went to, they were having this vigil and these kids broke out in a hakka.

Have you ever seen a hawka?

Mary? Hakka? Yeah, it's the coolest, like and I was on the plane crying, like there was something about it where it was like.

It was like, it's a powerful emotional. Yes, it's the most powerful emotional certainly of dances or whatever you want to call it.

But I'd only seen it ever with kind of connected a little bit with like sports or like we're really strong and we're going to get you, like almost like a kind of a you know, almost like cheerleading. But obviously this ancient and cultural in a morning situation, but in a morning situation, and in that situation where it felt like it felt like they were going like fuck you for doing this, like it was such a it's

That's okay.

You have to see it. It's And also, you can't get teenagers to give a shit about anything. And there is a group of kids that's like twenty kids, and then the group just keeps growing and it gets louder and louder.

I don't want to sound like the opposite of an old man, but I think young people are better than.

They used to be.

They are for sure, they.

Really are.

Aware and I'm not talking about not looking at phones, aware or whatever.

No, they're like awake. They care about what's happening around them. Well, but also because their parents paid attention to them, so they think their opinion matters. So then they go, oh, I care about something, and it matters that I care.

Yeah.

Where I literally didn't vote until I was like twenty four, yeah, or even thirty four.

Yeah. There are times where I see kids filled with self confidence and I'm offended by it for some but it's because I was raised to not you know, be not exist, you know, be heard, you know, make sure that because that's also can be an annoying thing. Like everyone listen to me, I got something to say. It's like, who wants to be around that? It depends on the situation.

You have to always in every case, you have to be cool.

You gotta have a balance. You gotta be chill, you.

Gotta be cool, you gotta be you gott That is the worst fucking song. You gotta be hip, you gotta know you're right. It's the best song, now that I sing it out.

A little bit.

I bought that Becausette type Karen. I bought it and I was well into college.

Did it make you feel positive?

Did I just I know I liked her? What was her name? I think?

I think right? Yeah, there's also the one you can meet me by rail? Wait remember that one? Oh No, I don't care how you get there.

It's is it a Bonnie Raid song?

Or is it just where your voice was similar?

I blurted, I did stand up, and I well, we kind of change the subject, so I don't no, no, I would do it. Well, you teared up just now and then and then we started talking about other things, so I didn't. I want to go back to that. You can stand up and I I did again?

Oh, because you did a brody.

I said, yes, voice I had. I always liked doing an impression of him. And JP, the JP from Conan was there. It was like a fun show and I wanted to do well on it and there was a very good audience and it was going very well. And then all of a sudden, his voice came out of my mouth and then I started crying, and I'm like, well, this isn't the time for this.

There's something that.

I'm realizing is when I'm on stage and I'm doing stand up, I am emotionally available. Yes, or I may have to make myself that way.

You're vulnerable.

Yeah, and I didn't know that. That's man. That's when I should audition for. If there's ever like a dramatic film were have to cry, I should do stand up during the audition and then say okay, I'm tear ready.

Yes. Well, also because you know that's like church laughing, where you know, stage crying is not allowed, so then it adds pressure.

You're so right, Me crying while doing stand up is church laughing. It really is. That is what it is. It is exactly what happened. A lot of people didn't notice. JP said he noticed, but.

It went away.

I'm like, oh, I sounded like my friend.

Yeah, then.

You know, not that brody and I were. But that's the other thing. You're like, oh, I should have hung out with him more.

Right, But it's like, but nobody hangs out with anybody now, I know exactly outly, we don't hang out with each other unless we're podcasting or doing a comedy show.

I thinks are about to change because I live, I don't live. I'm not sequestered to the beach anymore.

True was good?

Why was I a retired boat man for so many years.

Yeah. Well, also, like I find this with looking for a new house. It feels impossible because I've lived in my house for almost fifteen years. Yeah, it feels impossible to live in a different house. But I keep thinking, No, I want to be different. I want to not be the person that lives in that house anymore.

I want to be different. What do you want with your new plays?

I want I want to finally feel whole. No, I want to pool, and I want it to be small but with high ceilings and that's kind of pretty, and also just a little bit of way so that it's quiet because my house now is so quiet.

Yeah, okay, how about exposed rafters?

Do you like those?

If they're there? Fine. I kind of like like a little bit of hilly, like Laurel Canyon, but not off of Laurel Canty because it's too restrictive. So a little like the hills would be a dream. But houses are so fucking expensive.

Yeah. Yeah, Like it's crazy. I guess right now it's not the best time, but I don't know how to follow.

Them on the market.

It's the market's going down now, is it, Yeah? Because people people aren't buying.

Man, it's been maybe they'd be written they because everything it was very expensive. I found an okay place, but I got those hills. Yeah, I got the sea, like, well, it's coming close to nine foot ceiling.

Really, that's nice.

Once you go, once you go to eleven, you can't go back. You don't go back, you can't.

Well, there's something I truly. I lived in an apartment in when I lived in Silver Lake, and it was like thirty foot ceilings. It was one of those ones where you walk in, then you walk down a flight of stairs. Yeah, and oh.

The lady is struggling with so many things.

That dog almost tripped her. Frank did that to me in the crosswalk once. I almost kicked him across the street because he he walked in between my legs in a crosswalk and I was like, are you trying to kill me? Oh?

Yeah, I guess they just don't realize.

No, they don't, they don't know.

They don't know it was dog.

Should I keep on describing high ceiling? Do you think we're done?

I'm a big I'm a big fan of I am.

So are you a ceiling fan?

Yes?

Yeah, only I can still Oh shit, oscillating, you know, it's a good joke. When you make Stephen make a noise.

He just made it man noise, boom boom.

I don't I'm sorry.

I don't believe that Ed McMahan sounded like that or whatever he yelled, Daddy, like.

No, I don't think you did.

Actually, I didn't want to go, Hey, how long do you get to be in town?

And because you're going.

To need time to focus on search, I needed to block out a few weeks to to.

Oh, I've been doing it in between here and there because I don't have a time. So it's not like I sold my house or gave notice or anything. So I can do it whenever I want.

That's great. Yeah, that was the I was against the wire or whatever you say when because my roommate's fiance was moving in and time was of the essence. It's like so hard to time that, Yeah, but I think it worked out as best it can. About after this, I go to my old place and move the washing and dryer out, put it in the alley with a free exclamation point works exclamation point sign.

That thing will be gone in one moment.

I believe so too.

I don't think it'll be littering for maybe a couple hours. Look at this, here's your home. Oh it's so beas down under the it's gorgeous. You know what, I'm going to make it really special and go into your driveway.

Yes, thank you so much.

Another classic episode adhering to our original mission statement of using the terrible fucking airport.

Yes, that was an airport episode if you've ever heard one.

I wasn't taking it well. But I'm in a good mood now.

I mean I was also in a bad mood. But look, this is when you deal with things at six to eight in the morning. Six seven eight in the morning. What are you supposed to do? It sucks.

Well, I'm in a good mood now, but we're gonna stop podcasting and then I'll go right back to feeling like shit.

Now, cross your arms real tight and drive home.

You got right.

That sounds dangerous. You've been listening to you. Wait, would you like to plug anything?

Yeah? I don't have a plug plug, but we have merch that people should put my coat over my microphone.

People like those enamel pins.

Yes, we have enamel pins of our heads of it's Chris Fairbanks's original drawing. We have a T shirt with our heads and dinar. It's really cool merchant. We're really excited about it. So go to the exactly Right website.

Really nice smugs and one of the mugs is for being in a car, because you know, we have a web, we have a.

This a website.

This is a website.

You have a talking website that takes place in a car. So you can get our website based podcast mugs smug for driving in your car. Oh my god, I almost had a stroke. That took so much brain.

But we're starting a website. And then you can also look at the Exactly Right Network, which is a netwhere we just started. Yeah, a lot of new merch yes, and new shows and also exciting things coming up.

Oh, I'm excited.

What's that new? The new show with the guy that it's.

Called Jensen and Holes murdersc and you met him on during a tour or yes? Do you have any upcoming shows?

Not? Not really, I'm just going to focus on moving. I'll probably think of something when we're doing commercials. Oh, wish that i'd said it. Oh I go the Dennis for a deep cleaning on April twenty ninth.

Great mark your calendars. Everybody you've been listening to Do you need a ride?

Do you like?

And a art? Are leading? I? You wanna way back home? Either way we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim, and give us time and a termino and gay. We want to send you off InStyle. You want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you ride?

Do you need with Karen and chriss mm hmmm