S2 - Ep. 73 - Naomi Ekperigin

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send you off in style. We want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Need to ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgarriff.

Just because my name is listed first, that in no way means I have top billing on this podcast. And I just now realize that, and I wanted to just say it to you.

Karen, Chris, thank you, very generous of you. I would say you have top billing alphabetically, and you have top billing. If we both had to go do a set right.

Now, which is of course my recurring dream in nightmare in COVID.

Well, I would assume you and I would do some sort of a mixed nuts improv duo thing, which is something I thought you and I could always do.

That would be a huge fix for me in reality.

And then this dream where I keep like kind of waking up in the dream to somebody going, oh you out, you're on right now, you have to go, And then I'm like, I haven't done a set in four year? What are you talking about? Why am I booked on this show?

Yeah, that's the dream I have about where I have to get off the road because I forgot a math class in high school and I have to go back to high school.

Very similar classics, classics? Should we bring our guests on?

I see what? Are very excited for our guest today? Karen.

Ladies and gentlemen. You know her.

She plays clubs and colleges all over the cold of colleges. She has I think sixteen podcasts herself. She's a writer, she is a comedian, she does it all. She's here for us.

Now. Please welcome Naomi eck Peragan.

Chris, why were you scared to say my last name? A real last minute? Everyone sees through me.

I am horrified by any series of vowels and consonants.

Yeah, it's okay, It's really pretty phonetic, except for the hard g and.

Sorry did I get it right or.

No you didn't, but I knew.

But it was just so funny because he was preparing to do it and this Karen, Okay, he's not going to try it. I, as you know, usually I introduced, I introduced myself first, and then Karen.

Then there's a lull where I improv uh. And it's always the weakest part of the podcast. Although Karen, I don't know. I have told you this, but a lot of people have said it's their favorite part.

And then it's your your improving.

Yeah, people keep asking about that, but just talking talking, I am myself and continually speak and then and then ultimately Karen usually does the intros.

But yes, I would have said Jin.

At the end of your name. I didn't even need to tell you that I want honesty. I want this friendship to start with honesty.

I would have said, Jim do yeah, I think you have no choice, so you have no choice about the honest.

It's so true to see it.

She's going to make it happen. And I know.

I say I want honesty, I say I don't want debt between us. That's something very important to be with friendship. I can't like like I have to pay you back or like, if you treat it, I'm treating the next time I will remember, I will write it in my calendar. I am treating from the I don't want debt between us.

Well, consider us fiscally in love.

And actually you have the one up on me because we I'm the last person who canceled between the two of us. But it was four years ago, so I think that it might be the time might be running out on the statue of limitations.

Oh yeah, I think we're totally a reset. I think anything before twenty twenty that doesn't count.

So now we're fresh. Now, you know, until pretty one, we're fresh. It's three fresh, and I had no idea. You guys had past beef about a cancelation. Should we get into this.

Let's well, all I'll say is Naomi and I'm well. We met at the All Jill Comedy Festival in.

Yep A Lady. It was Lady Times, Old.

Jane, Old Jill.

I got my nursery.

I'm from Stacy.

Yeah, I know where it is.

Yeah, sorry, Curious Comedy.

Yes, yeah, I love that place.

Everyone's friend Stacy who runs it and is the greatest.

So Naomi and I were staying at the same bizarre uh motel that was in an abandoned office park over by the airport. Nobody else was staying there, I think, but you and I.

Yes, absolutely absolutely. Now is that because you and I both refuse to share rooms with people?

I assume so probably.

I assume they were like, oh, you want to be by yourself, You're going to be right by airport.

How's that?

How about you go to the Diva motel and go stay out there, And we're both like great. And there was a ballroom dancing competition in the lobby.

Remember that?

And I fully forgot that. That's so true.

There was a store. Did you look in that store with me? Or was there somebody that we went?

You will shop that on your own, you brave the steward.

It was like, let's get leantards with fire on them. But apparently you weren't. If you weren't in the competition, you couldn't actually shop at the store. I think whoever went in there with me, it may have been a brandy posey type of person like La Girl comic female comic.

We got kicked out.

Of the store.

I mean it was like those people were like this isn't a joke, so you can take your tourism elsewhere. And I was like, that's kind of perfect.

For ball Are you pointing at items in the store and laughing at them?

Probably?

I mean a lot of vendors, if I can call them vendors, you can are offended by you pointing and laughing at their retail.

Yeah, there are also exactly I was like, not necessarily vendors. I'd call them artisans. Okay, these are artistans. They're making these things. I guarantee you ballroom outfits are made by hands like.

Artists, absolately hand threaded, I mean boa like feather boas that are sewed around the wrists and neckline.

I mean, I'm just pulling this out.

Of what I can remember from Literally this was six years was it?

I was gonna say even longer than six. I was like, that's amazing that you have it so fresh. I lived in New York back then, so that would have put it at least four years ago. If not, I was gonna say like seven or eight. But it's also like, because I think that was one of my first festivals, even like that was the first time I had been asked to do something and so can you imagine. I really came in hot saying no, I will not be sharing a room, and I was like, you should be.

Happy to be invited.

But I was like, but this, I'm very particular when I sleep away from my home.

And this is why I don't do festivals.

It's right, it's not. I'm not here to camp out with my girlfriends. I'm fifty. I've done this a bunch of times, like I had, I had the fun ones before. Now I want to crossword. I want to go to sleep exactly when I'm tired. And no, that's not I'm not really actually festival material, even though they're my favorite.

Yeah, Chris, are you an active senior? You strike me someone who's having fun out there in the streets.

I was gonna say, yeah, the last cruise ship festival I did, which lets you know I'm a senior.

We shared the smallest room.

With the bed The beds were scooted together and the toilet kept overflowing. It was just scenes from plain strains and automobiles, and it was so much fun.

I don't know what you why you two would.

Want to miss out on that character building.

This isn't a towel underwear.

Great comedy.

It also makes me think of that we did spend a lot of time waiting on that bench, which is another retiree thing to do, Another active senior thing to do is like two ladies facing straightforward waiting for their ride talking about, you know.

The co we were too old for this ship.

Well that was a thing because I knew you were way and I was like, oh, are you part of the festival. And I just also feel very grateful that I met you in that setting because the impression on getting you, Karen, is that you only like about seven percent of the populace I got.

So I've feel like I met you. We were both there.

We should have been sharing a blanket, our legs were, but like we were meeting. Were like, we're both in this situation you met and the fact that we're in this hotel means we have a similar sensibility, right, because we've been put in this hotel because we are difficult.

Okay outright, I don't live in I don't know why I put the bench in a park and you're surrounded by pigeons.

This was a bench at the hotel.

Yeah outside the hotel, Yeah, right outside but it certainly had a pigeon energy.

If if I had a feed, they would have.

Come, you know, entirely. They were waiting right around the corner. But maybe this staff had them beaten back enough, so it's like it was bugging people. But this was the place where and I think I told you about this name me at the time. But I really enjoyed getting up in the morning. It was such an odd We were like off a highway but then also down a road, so there was nowhere to go. So I would get up in the morning and I would take a walk around this business park and get high, like waken big.

It was the trippiest.

I would walk up there and just be like they just left it here, like no one goes to this school anymore. It was like, maybe may not have been to ride. I don't want to be busting them, like they're going out of business. I'm sure they're doing great. But it was like a University of Phoenix style actual business college that was no longer.

And I was fascinated by it.

Were either of you in that show Corporate?

Yes, I did a hot minute, you know, I did a hot minute.

Yeah, that's where they shot. That was like a closed down.

It was so creepy, just a vast expanse of empty desks. And what made it creepiest is it seemed like people left in a hurry. They left behind like that is like you have to get out of this building today Gaslak style. There's like, yes, expensive cords. I saw a watch on a desk. It's like, where's the owner of that's watch? Is he okay? Why was he fired? It was had something to do with two thousand and eight and the.

Yes, That's how it felt to me because this place, the parking the parking spaces had names on the right.

That's the thing I was obsessed with. It was just like it wasn't like this slowly you know what.

It made me think of it like not in any real way, of course, but it was this kind of thing of like we all think that if a business, like a business.

It has a big build.

There's a big building in New York somewhere where this business is, and then there's other franchises or whatever. In my mind, those can't go away because they're in these big buildings, and it's like it's all fake, like it all can come and go very quickly with no one expecting it.

Like it's a little scary.

Is it's so scary?

Just off it's like cubicles in place covered with rat poop and where I need to know where these people? And it was it was one of the main mortgage home mortgage companies that famously had something to do with the fall of the market. Oh god, people are going to know I'm not that fiscally in love.

Your whole brand is gone right now, Chris, You're alone up.

Fall of the the you know, all of the market. Yeah, the market.

Rates spell the money, drop the money.

It's safe for me to say that two thousand and eight. I don't need to get any more details.

No, we were there, we know, we suffered through it.

It dropped.

What have you done any shows sadly in quarantine or.

That you've loved well girl, Okay, So I just just a couple of weeks ago I shot a Netflix half hour in New York.

Wow, yes, oh, congratulations, thank you.

But I had two months to put this thing together after not performing for fifteen months. So when you talk about your nightmare of like you have to go on now, I was very much living in yeah, And it was that feeling of of course the opportunity comes, there's no way I'm saying no.

But it was literally like, I don't know how it's gonna happen.

I don't know we're gonna just we're just gonna reach out to any person who's ever said they ever went to a show and asked them for stage time, whatever you can find.

Yeah, And I was just like I was.

I spent two months like out and about I feel like right before the Delta burke, and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna get up as much as I can and then flew to New York and that's all stuff, you know, I wouldn't have done if not for Netflix. I think I could have not that I don't misperforming, but I was certainly like, none of this is worth dying for.

That's what I's finger it out. None of it's worth dying on a ventilator for.

So I'm happy to stay in the house and watch a streaming program.

Yes, yeah, and even.

If everyone's vaccinated and then they're checking credentials or whatever. It's not worth dying on stage for, you know, being totally out of practice the last time I did stand up. It keeps feeling like it, did you know, fifteen years ago? I feel like a kid again. It's so scary. I leave every set drenched in sweat, but I love it. I also like that feeling. But it's weird to not know what you're doing.

So Naomi, when it finally came to tape time, you get two shots?

Right, yes, yes, Chris, you've done this. You've done a half hour.

I've just done little spotlight things.

But yeah, oh okay, sorry, I absolutely see you was doing this, but I chose not to.

But you get do you get two shots? Two sets?

Yep? Two sets seven and a ten, seven and ten?

And how'd they go?

Like?

Can you just walk us through?

Like fire? There's one line I missed in both shows that I did. Remember. I missed it, like I realized I missed it two mornings later when I woke up at six am and a cold.

Sweat shot out of bed and said, I don't think I said it.

I don't think I said it.

But the first one, the seven o'clock when it was funny because the ten o'clock is where my friends were coming, Like I knew people who were gonna be there, but the seven was like fire, and then ten o'clock was a little and then I kind of got in my head so that I just started saying random shit, you know, like because if it wasn't a taping, I would have gone off of the material and been like, what do

Okay, sometimes she gained the COVID nineteen and you have to accept it. And I say what I say right like, it's like what it is.

Well, and having seen you a lot, I don't see how you can miss because what you do on stage is so authentic and real. Like I've watched many sets of yours at that festival and since, and I'm always trying to go like every one's while I can go, oh, that's a bit, but most of the time.

That's what it feels like.

It feels like you're kind of leading a chat that no one else gets to talk at, which is like perfect right, and so it is.

I'm improvising, I'm yes and myself.

It's like the best type of improv chat.

Chris so Low.

First of all, thank you so much, Kieren. That is the highest honor.

Okay, You're one of my favorites.

That is the dream. Literally anytime.

It's so funny because I'll be like, why are people paying attention to me today?

And I'm like, Karen Kilgarrett told people I existed, done the follows.

The follows come when KK comes through my whole career. It's Karen doing that for me.

But Chris, you I saw you.

You were at the one of the last shows I did pre Pandemic at the Improv Lab and I had never seen you before. And my dear partner, Andy Beckeraman is such a huge fan of you and I and I saw you and it had to.

Be January February. You were giving me Christmas sweater vibes.

There was a fun number one the actually Christmas you know, but it was like a thick cable.

I'll have a series of sweaters that I that I really wear too much of during the.

Hot yes, And I was like, oh my god. And I just remember because it was one of those shows where you know how the Improv Lab can be, or just any clubs in general, right, that can be really kind of.

Like they necessarily there for you.

Yeah, right, yeah yeah, And there was something about you where you are just such a goof troop but also so very like grounded, literally like in his body, do you know what I mean? Like Chris is like he's gonna stand there. You want to go on this journey and you better figure it out. And he got this audience in a way that I was like damn because I kind of got up there and was like love me, you know, I'm leading for them, you know, like really an overdrive, talking too fast and stuff. And he just

That's it. That's the stuff.

Thank you so much. That makes me feel great.

I performed in that room a lot, and that was why I felt comfortable in there. I think a lot of people like for some reason, that room can pull the energy out of your soul, like immediately, and I just I just felt comfortable in there. I will I still do terribly on the main stage, if that's a consolation.

The main stage.

I have to say this is I've had the best shows of all in the in the improv main room, and then I've had ones where I'm like, oh my god, everything I've ever done is a mistake. And I've also behaved very badly when those sets went south, you know what I mean, where I'm like strangely attacking the audience and they're truly like, hey, look we're not experts, and we actually don't care that much. We're here to talk to each other, drink these drinks, and you're the background.

I would have to get up there and be like, it's me the guitar act.

But then in a room like that, they all just give over to you, like it. They're like absolutely leadable, yes exactly, you like take up the whole thing.

Well, Biss.

Situation is my favorite song. I like to have it in my head all the time. It's on a mix mix that lifts me up because it just really hits it just a business situation, like and you know, who is it?

Who is it?

Chris Pope's clapping. It's from the live album and I just like I was, like, that's clapping, and then it's just like so good and it's just like, you know, your voice is a gentle dream. Yeah, that's beautiful. And I remember because I was what I saw you do at all, Jane, you know music, because I didn't you know,

And also because I think the music is so well done.

Like there's nothing I can't stand more than a musical comedian who can't sing. Oh these hoes be out here without the harmonies. It's like stop, just write tweets and said, you know, like that's how you insist on doing. And I think when someone sounds good like you're you're inclined to focus on it.

You know you're not going to just be like, oh this this Jack a lantern thiswe I agree.

Yeah, I well, you try and convince Karen to lay down another music album. I keep I want to start a band, whether even though I only play trombone. But maybe she'll listen to you, Naomi, maybe shall listen to you. I think that music it means to happen.

Again, guys that I loved doing it, but there is and I know I've talked to both of you individually about this. When you're up there in the middle of a song, you cannot get out, you have to finish it.

It's the worst. Even when they love it. It's the worst feeling in the world to me.

Because I like the idea, like I want to show people like, hey, look I thought this thing up. I want the credit, and I like I want the hard laughs at the jokes where they are. But sometimes there's like vast deserts between laughs between like good feelings and when it's bad, it is the worst. But I think like a room like the Hollywood improv because there's such

What are you doing right? And that's that I have to remember. Yeah, you're the star. You are, You're the star. We should be talking about comedy so much or should know.

I wish you.

Guys, we could do this podcast back when I actually needed a rat because I always need a ride because I don't drop in la.

We will podcast that would take me places.

This is the dree Well we promisedly will in the future. Yes, yes, And my my sister is a very big fan of you. Naoi like uh she she watched Megan Gaily and Spokane and through her got introduced you and she listens to everything you do podcast wise.

She's a really good man. She's brought you.

Up many many times and you would like her and one day.

She has great taste, she knows her comedy stuff.

Yeah, I've I'm like, should I go see this person? I'm like, I'm it's not my favorite, but they've been doing comedy forever.

I think you'll like them.

And she's like they were very She don't give a perfect synopsis of their strong points and say nothing negative.

Yeah, oh that's very Now I like her. She's strength space. Does she a social worker? She is a teacher, a librarian. See strength Space. You have to you've got to focus on the good to.

Bring more of that out. Yes, that's good.

I've noticed, well, she's found a lot of good in you.

And I had to let you know.

Thank you what you're saying, Lisa, And she listens to your and Megan Gaily's podcast about Lifetime movies.

Do you want to talk tell us a little bit about that.

Sometimes someone comes to you, okay, sometimes a corporation comes to you in a pandemic. It says, do you want to do a podcast about lifetime movies? And you say, you mean what I was already watching absolutely, And then say, why don't we add a white woman to the And then I call Megan gay because I say she's the whitest woman I know, whitest woman I trust and got her in the loop, and I'm just really glad we

Believe in being on time and doing things right? You know? And she does and we love that. Yes, yes, And if it was up.

To me, we would just watch thrillers. We would just watch murderers, we would watch nefarious Husband's okay, but we also have been watching we had. They have a Royal movies, like three movies on Harry and Meghan, a true trilogy.

They have William and Kate.

We're gonna be doing some Christmas movies like every now and then we'll do a romance. But literally, I'm like, I want to watch The Killer in my Backyard, So I want.

They're so funny and so like, I don't know what I see a lifetime movie.

I say anything as possible, because it's like this person wrote that thing, and then somebody bought it, and then they shot it in a weekend and then it's like everybody got a job.

I mean, it's a beautiful thing to see a lifetime movie at action.

Also when they jump on this is because my sister and I are a little bit obsessed at this point with the Christmas movies because it really does like almost like cartoons on Saturday morning when you are a kid, and you know, for us in the eighties, it has this feeling of like, oh, I'm home for the holidays. It's kind of like we're busy and stressed because there's things to do, like top line, but right now it's

It is.

It is the most beautifully formulaic yet varied, you know what I mean. So you know that you're going to have this successful advertising female executive who has to go back to go through her mother's old cabin always she drives in and they're decorating the tall, tall pine.

Tree in the city square.

I mean, it is.

It's the kind of thing where if you want to be cynical, you can, but if you give into it, it's way better. And it's like it's a true kind of a journey where you're just like, yeah, what like if you kind of I know, I think I go with it of like I what if she doesn't get him?

What if the guys she ran into in the mug store. Doesn't Oh my god, less he's a doctor. What if he doesn't like her or whatever? Like, you can really go with it, Yeah, and I do.

That's one thing I'm good at now is giving in to programming like that, like I will while I've been watching Disney and Nickelodeon kids shows just for the right because it's so many jokes.

It's yeah, yeah, those shows are good.

They're like thirty Rock for kids, and I'm I'm really I get sucked in and I tear up at certain things, like even like Toyota commercials, but you just.

Got to own well, Christopher, Honey, that's different. Yeah, Toyota, that's something else entirely Well.

I could go over all the reasons, but we've gone down that road before.

H Yeah.

I love that.

You guys are actually the official podcast of Time.

I didn't know that. I thought they jumped on later from the beginning. You were approached by Lifetime.

Yes, that's how it started, they initially, and I was like, and again, it's funny just because I joke, like, I wasn't watching Lifetime movies at the moment, but those are such a big part of my childhood Lifetime movies and like, you know, because it was basic cable so we had it, but it was like a little adult but obviously nothing really, but you know, it's like a teenager. I'm like, oh my god, my god, look at that sensuality and murder, like it was a big deal.

And yeah, I would watch those.

And so and especially you know, we're we're all at home anyway, I was like, yeah, give me an excuse. I've been sitting in the house watching anime for a year. Let's shake it up. Yeah, bring some Lifetime back and so.

And there was part of it when you're younger that's like, this is what you're going to be faced with as a grown Wyes, yes, yes, So either you're gonna be the perfect like you're gonna be the perfect model bride that then when you and your army husband get home, you're suddenly you know, he's he's gonna his eyes are going to turn to black ink and you're in serious danger and here we go, or you know, or you're going to get a career and then you're gonna go

And also like can I please all I ever want?

I was like, I'm obsessed with large kitchens, and that's Lifetime's fault.

Every movie.

It don't matter what she do. She had kindergarten, teach it. She a big city executive. Marble countertops, okay, at least one, sometimes two kitchen islands.

Yes, I love it.

I love when when the job is just struggling a welder artist and then they have the nicest apartment I've ever seen.

I know, but there's something about a big kitchen.

I've never lived in a place with a big kitchen really, like you know, my own, where it's just like room to maneuver. You know, more than one person can be in.

The kitchen and it's not you can immediately picture them like taking pasta in a calendar and throwing it way up in the air and like nothing's gonna get it's not gonna get on anything because they just have room to do it.

Yeah, an is train utilizing an island in any way, that means you got a fancy kitchen face it, Yeah you do.

And that's Lifetime, baby, that's me.

Every girl's got it, got an island and it's aspirational.

It's an aspirational show. And then is it couple's therapy? Yes, your podcast with Andy?

Yes?

Yes.

So now we will have our you know, guests, people we like on and we will answer relationship questions, talk to them a little bit about their relations We recently had Patton Oswalt and Meredith Salinger on. Sometimes we had a couple which is a cute, fun time. But then Lance Reddick, we love a Lance Reddick speaking of corporate who played the Scary Ball. Yeah, he is so nice and tender and you know, wonderful comedians. I wish I

Yes, what's the best piece of advice you guys have?

Like somebody said to you or you've come up with on a show.

Okay, Well, one of the things I have said over and over is anybody worth your time will not have to be convinced. And that is when these people be coming in here talking about like, oh I like him or her, or they aren't paying attention to me, whether it's a crush or we're in a relationship, and like they're not making time for me, And what do I do? And it's like you have to leave nobody who is your person is gonna need to be coaxed into showing up for you?

Yeah?

Good god, it's simple.

But also, and I say that to somebody who gave a lot of hoes a lot of time, you know what I mean?

They were the best Chris, did you gives a lot of time?

I mean, let's get there with I am looking back and seeing that there was a lot of condensing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, always.

Yeah, that's a hard one to learn because, well, especially if you're like me, where the people.

I like the most are the ones that do not give a shit? Right, you get into that thing because I listen to what's that thing?

It's called uh uh it's pheromones. No, sorry, sorry, it's how it's the way you bond.

So it's like anxiety or secure.

Like anxious codependent or.

Secure.

Yes, yes, yes, attachment like the attachment theory.

Attachment theory, and I learned about one of them is if you have an anxious attachment like tendency, then the people who have there's one that's like basically like no thanks attachment, and those people give you feelings that you begin to mistake for the feelings of love because it's actually anxiety because you know they're not going to give you what you want, and you want and it makes you want it more.

Yeah, I have that right.

I think everyone has it a little bit. It's that thing of like it's the person is a crush that then somehow becomes a rock star the less they care about you.

That's interesting. I never was that way, if anything. I think if you liked me, then I would attach to you, you know what I mean. I was like, oh you like me, we in love now, And then they would very much be like, oh no, I changed my mind, like if that happens, or like I would like a friend like I needed you. I'm not here for anybody who seems disinterested.

I don't.

It's already like enough, I think I don't like me, so I don't need somebody else not liking me either, Like I can only be in one battle at any given time, and so I need you to kind of be on board. But it's not enough that you just like me, right. I was never taking the time to think, do I actually like them?

Right?

You know that's a very I think that's a lot of women deal with that, where it's like the flipping that question of like, wait, what if this was my choice and I'm not sitting here like waiting for my dance card to get filled. It's really that's a tough one. That's like emotional maturity.

I think, I know, are there of you in relations I am now, I'm just I've really been finding myself the last year and a half and I feel good about it.

But now I'm very Chris.

You turned to the side as you were saying that, and it looked like Beethoven Z No, there's still.

A way error here, and I was looking at myself totally dark.

Oh you turn to the side and because of your backlighting, yeah, it goes Yeah, sorry, this is bad podcasting.

You gotta do a screenshot real quick post.

This, Okay, click here, we do it, and I'm gonna tak Penny Stilouette.

Hold on, holdn wait, turning it.

Okay.

There it's a dark silhouette and there's the reveal of my pa and you're back.

It's great.

It's great to have reveals on podcast. Zoom reveals on podcast. If you want to see what Chris looks like, you have to pay nine to ninety nine to go into.

The unlock these pixelated images. Enjoy. I've been, Yeah, I've been. I've been outdoors a lot.

I've been golfing and skateboarding and doing things that make me happy and I feel good. And it's okay that I've been not dating, but yeah, yeah.

Yeah, saying golf is your girlfriend and that's fine with us.

Ex I love Lady Golf, and.

Yeah I don't my Lady Gulf.

I'm just worried that I'm going to keep it's going to stay this way for me, I would buy some decision in my brain where I'm like, well, I'm old, now, time to start building homes for pigeons to visit me.

Yeah, you know, because I'm into miniature You.

Do love pigeons.

You brought them up twice now, and I know it's that pigeon energy.

You've got some pigeon energy about you. I have the same, Chris, I have the same feeling where like when I went home in May, like and we had to go to a family function and I'm cousins who are like, so I've been dating anyone lately?

And I'm like, you mean in the.

Past eighteen months of quarantine for the global pandemic, now, I haven't met anyone yet, Like, how dare you like? I've been spending my time getting like just packing on the pounds and really watching every single thing on yeah Netflix.

I mean, there's been a couple of close calls, but that was just the mail carrier coming to my door. Other than that, no relationships have been presented at my apartment on a hill.

I did have some some exciting likes on Twitter, but that does that count as a relationship? I don't think it does.

Well, what about postmate?

Know, I had one, like I knew he had got in bed when I had a repeat postmate and he literally goes hello again, and it was something about the way he said again that I felt was savage, brutal. Yeah, and pointed Okay, too much shame murder.

Hello again.

Yeah, there was a taco bell guy. Uh, there was a taco bell by my college. And the guy just knew my name, Hey Chris, and I felt unhealthy.

Yes.

Then he asked me about old bags of marijuana for him. I did didn't have to sell them, and he said if I lost it, we'd be in big trouble with some guys in Saaba. So I did not do that. I did not become a drug dealer. My freshman year car across the counter truly, really next to the microphone that announces food orders, like, I'm like, quiet down, you're the worst recruiter for drug activity.

Oh my god? Was this the abandoned business college Karen was talking about earlier? I believe close.

It's a it's a rapidly depleting uh.

Liberal arts college.

But enrollment is down. You didn't need to hear that update.

It's down.

It's not doing well.

To be honest, it's not Oh you weren't serious.

What we're saying is worry. We're saying worry. It's not cool. Things aren't going good.

It's a college I care about. I want them to do better. Go to the University of Montana. I do you enjoy sculpture or ceramics? But were you in Montana?

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm from Missoula, Montana.

You're from MISSOULI. I am from Missoula. When did you meet your first black person?

There is a lot of white people there, now, I know. That's why my sister pronounced it's white. By the way.

Uh oh no, it's a big breath before it.

Yeah, I would say eighty percent Caucasian.

I maybe I'm wrong.

Someone good Yeah, but yeah no.

But like seriously though, like were you was it?

Once you left Montana and then you like went to do an open mic and you were like that black guy's talking, Like when did it hit you? No?

I think, uh, well, I'm not going to defend the whole state or or no.

You don't have to defend them, genuinely curious.

New York is one of those liberal towns that want so badly to have culture that they'll bring it in, uh in a way that other parts of much like Austin in Texas. And that's where I ended up moving actually is Austin, And so I finally lived in a city and got to be around different people and it was really important to me right away, and my dad told me it would be important to me and wanted me to get out.

But I do like going back to Missoula for those streams.

In the mountains. Yeah, of course, not beautiful. It's You're not in trouble for me, for I know, I know I'm not.

You're real, very defensive.

Why people be delicate? Okay, shake it off. It's not your.

Fault, you white. I put it on myself. That is not something you put on me. It is living inside of me. I'm sorry, Naomi. I didn't know that you grew up in Harlem. What was your favorite part about that?

Oh?

Yeah, do you have a favorite?

When I was growing up, Harlem was just such a neighborhood and it was, you know, it felt a little like I will walk around to the corner store to the bodega in my pajamas and like there was no judgment there, you know what I mean, Like I liked it. There was one bodega where there was a bodega cat that I was like, this cat is my pet.

I would go and like pet the Budjaca.

All the daggas have cats, I know, but like I feel like they have them now, but like when I was little, you know, the only ones I could go to right because it was like I had a two block radius.

I'm talking like ten years old when I could go and I would be like, I.

Get to go over to the bedeka with the cat and then I would just like sit in the back and pet the cat for a good ten to fifteen minutes, and then I'd buy like a soda to justify my time with the cat.

And then could you're in where you lived, could you not have pets? Oh?

Is it a family?

No?

Specifically like I so my mom I had like a turtle, I had a hamster, every like small little apartment pet, you know. But my mom does not like cats, and so she was like no cats absolutely.

So you had to go to cat store. You had to go find the cats out in the street.

A great cat.

Like looking back, it's like, thank god I didn't get ticks, you know, like it's a potaca cat is anyway some I feel like now they get taken care of, but back then, it was like, oh, that's just a random ass cat.

I love, Yes, I always have. I grew up around them.

But they're when everyone at Bridgetown in Portland. Went to some cat cafe where apparently you have hope and beverages, coffee, hot drinks, and there's cats. Cats just crawl around you and you pet multiple cats that didn't appeal to me.

No interesting, I see that. I definitely see the fleas and the ticks that you mentioned.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, and also I think the people that go there are so obsessed with the petting and the cats that I don't know how much they're having, Like a big old latte with foam right there on the table.

I bet you that they there's like the focus is.

The animal's peak.

I would hope.

So I want to go there.

Now, make a rule where it's like you go in there first and have your drink after you watch your.

Safe to assume if I get the focus lid cats, they're probably out of business.

Now.

That's you gotta buy the beverage.

There alive, and it's all alcohol. It's hard alcohol that you have.

To buy just drunk.

My favorite thing when I lived in New York, and this is because I grew up in a in a very small and kind of countryish town in northern California. The idea that there were bodega's on the end of both ends of the block was the It was just like, oh, I could like truly roll out. There was one that was closer didn't have the good cookies.

Than the one at the end.

It had like the gourmet stuff, and it was just like this is true bounty. Like it blew my mind because in the way I grew up, you'd have to ask to get something, and then it'd be like, we're not going into town until blank, yes, beholden too, adults going to town, which is so fucking Laura Ingles Wilder. So when I was actually finally in New York, I was just like, first of all, for just I didn't need to do anything. I would just put in my my iPod and just walk, yes, walk for blocks and blocks.

That was the greatest.

Yes.

I mean, I was taking the bus to school by myself at age ten, and that was I was going from Harlem to the Upper East Side and that was the city bus, you know what I mean, Like my mom would she would walk me sometime, like she would walk me in the beginning, like to the stop and she'd wait and then after a while she was like, Okay, I'm gonna watch you from the window and like make sure you get a set off. And then it was like,

Because of the whole not driving, because I am used to just.

Taking my feet or like as simple as exactly like I want to iced tea or I'm out of something at home, I can walk a block and grab it, you know. Like when I was in New York, I just kept going to Dwayne Read Too, which is three blocks away, because.

I didn't have.

When I was like, oh, I need to use my card as supposed to cash or something, and some of themdiggas were like, what you're what you're buying is four dollars and I will not let you use a credit card.

So I was like, I gotta go to dwayde and Read. But I went there like twice in one day.

Like it was just like grab it go like and that is something I missed, and you know now it's like I gotta do a target run. Yes, and I know La is allegedly a city, but to me, it's just much more like suburban with all the sketch of a city campy.

It's so hard to walk to them.

I feel really lucky in growing up in a town where it was pretty safe.

As a kid.

There was always the classic white.

Fan kidnapper situation, and everyone was weary of that. They would announce everywhere who got kidnapped that week.

I'm not even kidding, but no one. And then I found this article.

By the way, twice I was in the paper, they would see me because I dress like a crossing guard. My mom made me a stop sign and I orange vest, and so someone at the Missouli and thought I was cute enough to go on the cover two different times.

I saw this clipping recently.

It said Chris Fairbanks walks to packs in elementary. His parents are Lynn and Jim, and he lives at two ten Cans. It had my street and my parents' name.

It had the kidnapping script on the front page.

And they were just like, for lack of we don't know what else to say.

Here's I guess to let the reader know that they had permission to post my photos.

So, hey, we know his parents, Lynn and Jim.

Here's their address if you want to ask, ye, don't worry about just giving kidnap her some sweet sweet bait.

It's completely Chris. I'm your father Jim's friends. Oh, he's in the hospital and your mother Lynn can't come.

That's the that's how they do it. I would have done how they do it. I would have gone would hey, I'd be the president of a bank. It would have lit a fire under my ant that I regret never getting kidnapped. God, I'd be successful.

But if someone did really have that, you had the businessman's edge that.

You lack now because you trauma.

Protected unkidnapped life that I just kind of haven't achieved that much.

I do the bare minimize.

Sometimes I wish I was taken to I'm like, Liam Neeson's daughter is doing so well, now you know what I mean.

Like after she got ages, she's gorgeous, she kept it together.

Okay, she got professional, and she's like, we gonna I'm gonna be a grown woman.

And I was like, I love it.

Oh, I love the movie you know what she did.

She got mad, She got mad, and then she got revenge. I now I'm now, I weirdly am missing New York. I lived there so long ago and I only lived there for a year, But it really was because I grew up in that time where like I saw a Goodbye girl at a very young age, like that idea. I was convinced my parents were gonna get divorced my whole childhood, and so I was constantly preparing for, like when my parents get divorced, I have to live with

Like.

I was obsessed with that idea that like, I gotta make it. That's how you make it there. You have your comebacks and you read your books. I was obsessed with it. So when I out there, I was I was always like walking around.

And then you throw your hat in the air.

And pretend you're in Minneapolis.

But that's so funny, though, because when you say that like thinking you have to like have that like attitude. My theory untested is that you know, when you think of a tough New Yorker and like New Yorkers are mean or whatever, that's actually not a native new Yorker. You're meeting someone who has moved to New York who thinks that is the exterior. I think actual New Yorkers are very nice because you know, anybody you talk to could attack you.

Yeah, I mean like you're chilling.

Warm, and in New York is like baby, go first. You want to go first, you want to push, go ahead, you want to like yes, like after you, sir.

I'm not trying to die and full. I was told don't make eye contact everyone. I made eye contact with everyone. Everyone in New York is always friendly. It's such a myth that there's like a hardened edge and you can't like connect with people. I love being there. I'm always in a good mood there. Why haven't I moved there?

I don't know.

I also find that then I'm assuming they're native New Yorkers, because there is like when I would go to Dwayne Read the people who wrung me up. I would go there a couple times a day too, because I knew I needed stuff, and I also knew like if I was feeling like homesick or lonely or anything like that, that I would have a conversation with that cashier. That's something we would have an exchange if I made myself

Where I do it, yeah, New York.

The one girl she had it was like a young a young woman I would say, like early twenties, but she had a big pitbull with her in Duane Reed and the dog was chill, but he peed on the floor and literally.

She was like, I'm sorry, he pee. And the girl doesn't say a word.

She walks back, goes to the drawer, I mean on the shelf, grabs paper, towel from the stores inventory. Okay, oh is it, hands it to the girl and it's like you clean up your dog pete. Like it's not a situation. She's not like gotta got a manager clean up aisle. She was like, here's the paper towel, handle it all right, but like she just walking care of it behind the behind the register. And I thought it was so funny. I was like, do wa to read it your house like she's our.

Clean up, clean it up, take care of your take care of your business.

Clean it up. I really need that woman to have cleaned the woman.

Yeah, the dog owner cleaned it up. Oh definitely.

She was.

You know, there's no way you can like hide that. And it was already I feel like she was already rolling the dice bringing the big dog in.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, because he was a little you gotta get a little red vest. Gotta put a little red vest on your exactly.

He was not ware the vest. That's say, sir, who are you serving?

Excuse me, sir, sir?

I called.

I think pimbulls are very much sirs, sirs and maths mm hmm.

They're formal. I was walking up. Can I just tell one more New York story much.

I love it so, but I was walking up I believe Seventh Avenue one time, and.

It really was.

It had the feel of that like when TUTSI, when Michael's out in his tutsy outfit, like I'm real, it's really working.

Everyone's buying it, you know, And it's that like in.

That certain time of day when the crowd on the New York streets are four across, like people are, people are moving up and down these streets on mass and you're just kind of like in a group going with it, and you're keeping pace and you're one of the city people.

And then this girl who.

Had just come out of kind of like a TJ Max type of store, who was holding a big glass thing. It wasn't a mirror, but it was like a big piece of piece of like friends a little bit because she walked a couple steps and it slipped.

Out of her hands and it dropped, and everyone on.

The street froze, so literally like ten people all stop in their tracks to make sure they didn't get glass on them or whatever, and that everyone was okay and kind of looked around. And then the girl who was seemed like she might have been new to town.

She was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

And she's like looking at the people in front of her where the gas glass kind of smashed. And then this really short old lady who came out of nowhere steps into the center and goes, no you okay, I fucking lost my mind. And then they all just started kind of like picking things, you know what I mean, like taking care of business.

But the old lady was just like did anyone else see her?

And that.

Whenever you're in New York City, you're just suddenly in a scene from a movie.

It just exactly Yeah, for real.

People are hilarious.

She hears the glass shatter. That old lady like her job is to be in places and do that. So she hears a glass shatter, she makes quick run to that intersection, you know what I mean, Like she's like, okay, I.

Gotta go in there, make sure people are okay.

I gotta check. I gotta check everybody. Yeah, I genius.

When I first was in New York for Premium Plan it was two thousand and.

Three, I knew it Premium Blend.

Did I already talk about the garbage leaping there? Was just the garbage.

People were on strike and there was garbage everywhere, and it was hot, and I was excited about being on TV for the first time, and maybe I'd had some drinks. But I was jumping off fire escapes into piles of garbage all night. I just was leaping into garbage. It was so funny. It was one of the funnest I like to leap. People know that I like to leap into trash bins. This is too quirky.

You're a man.

People. They're shocked at first.

And then if you saw it, I swear you I'd win you over with my trash leaping. But one of the last leaps, it seemed like just a pile of hefty sacks, like black bags. But there's a trash canon there filled exclusively with fish remains, oh sales, and.

It poured on me. I just fish cuts.

And I went into a bar as with Joe Angrigioni and Sepra people and I just covered in fish, like He'll lifted the cat. And I went in and people are like, it sounds like fish in here, and I just done scales.

Oh what a disgusting story. But god, I love that city.

Okay, when it comes to trash jumping, though, my concern is that there's going to be something hard and sharp in the bag and you're going to be in pale.

I thought, please, no one, some ninja that just quit his job, don't throw away your sword today.

Could just be Or how about needles.

I mean, like, let's true why we stay away from I was in my twenties.

I was like needles, Bring them on. I was not scared.

Now I'm scared of driving over certain sharp, sharp litter. I'm afraid it'll go and threw my car into me.

That's you like a rebar.

I have nightmares about it.

Hey, But back then, at that.

Time, we drove we drove over an aluminum ladder on the frame.

Oh my god, yeah what I.

Think about it all the time because it was this kind of thing where so we were on the freeway

Yeah, so it like landed on the ground.

Oh yes, it was like it was kind of flying.

So thought I thought it was coming through the windshield force sure, and we both had to just wait to see where it landed. And then so it went like bounced down and then we were just.

Like and it because it's so light.

Yeah, it didn't.

It just got smashed.

Wow, Yeah it was. You'll see it, Dann.

We you live in Los Angeles now, right, Yeah, these freeways are lousy with discarded ladders and not kidding.

You will see many. You'll be like, what this is a thing.

Kind of like stray cats and Texas people don't care about cats. There no offense to the entire state. But there's ladders everywhere. They just fall off trucks and no one can just wait over. They just keep going.

See about driving and like stuff like that, Like I can't take it if a car in front of me, you know, it was like that pick up or just open back where they have stuff.

Oh, I'm not riding behind that car. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Like, I'm like, we got to get to the sad or in front of it because someone'll come back. I'm gonna get him paled. As you said, the rebar fear. That's how I feel about open restaurant hatches in New York, walking down stream, my parents falling in to the hatch

A deer and the ambler pierced him. Oh boy, that terror, that's terror. Yeah, And this is why I don't drat.

These are the stories that stick in my mind and or why I don't ever want to get behind the wheel.

Yes, it may because you didn't drive in New York obviously.

No. I got a license at twenty one just for a job I had, But it isn't like, yeah, I never really drove.

After that overwhelming place to learn, even just turning left and in an inner section you have to go to the outside of town and learn to.

Don't get me started on these left turns are a death sentence.

It's a death sentence. It's a left turn in Los Angeles is a death stone.

It's ridiculous that I'm even comfortable with them.

I can't, I can't, I will never.

And but at the same time I do want, obviously the independence and that feeling of like like I always feel like such a fucking loser at part like a party of event Where'm like, can I.

Ride back with you?

You know, like I'm just like girl, you too, Olf, It is this is very high school to be.

You get real close like that, You get like real close, you know, do you mind real quicks?

Like about that?

Gilse, Well you did. You did get very close to my face, So I guess.

Yes, I guess yes.

But the beauty part of like of the and it's there's also a very bad part about it of like the gig economy, but the uber lift element at least makes it so that I think so many more people take those, you know, those things because then they can drink, and it's taking like drinking and driving off the table entirely.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, it's not as great now post pandemic, or you know, as we kind of at the tail end stuff work it out. Yeah, you know people that as people should not have, you know, accepted Prop twenty two or no of the yes either way to one we did was wrong. Yeah, yeah, way, and but you know that. Sorry, but the Supreme Court is bouncing up.

Yep, yep, yeah, I know, thank you God.

But then also, Carrie, you know it is every time I get in a lift, I'm rolling the dice that I may be murdered. Okay, yes, when I get in that car, before I close the door, I make sure to feel the inside to make sure that that handle has not been sawn.

Off, because that's what they can do.

Yep, yep, Okay, I'm making sure that my locks work. Don't you put a child lock on my situation. I'm grown and like that's the other layer of it too. Again, I've taken so many I am I've lived to tell the tale like nothing has happened.

You know.

I've had a few, like just either weirdos or a guy. I've had a couple of road rage people where it's like it shouldn't be doing this work, Like one guy literally like swerved and stopped and started yelling at the other car, and I was like, I'm gonna get out if you're about to start a fight, you know what I mean, shouldn't be here if you're gonna fight with him. But nothing has happened. But it always just feels like, you know, nine times out of ten, the driver's a guy,

Yeah, yeah, I talked to strangers online or get into strange cars.

And now you do it both with one app do it.

Both voluntarily all the time you pay to do it? Yes, which is the one time. So let's all say our favorite worst lift or uber stories if you have them.

Because I just have two quick ones.

One was a guy immediately put on Christian music and tried to sell me The Lord, where I was just like.

Oh, wow, bro, I've heard about all this stuff, like.

Don't worry, I know about and but then he just kept Christian music blasting the whole time, which was just insane. Another time, a guy came and his truck that I think was lifted three two four feet off the ground.

So I had to.

Like the door open, and I had to grab like the inner handle and like pull myself up into kind of like a half lifted like truck.

And it was. And then once I was inside, so I.

Was like, that was weird, Like what would you do if it was a person that couldn't have lifted themselves or whatever?

And then I turned around.

His mother was in the back seats, like you know, therese like a truck with like a little almost like jump seats behind. There was a lady behind it was I don't I don't know if he was he had to keep her with him during the day or she was. They were doing it for seeing she was fully alive. She was she was alive, and she was thriving in that back seat. This was what was beautiful. I think that was so nice.

That's good, that's good.

Do you guys have do you guys have bad lifts wies?

Or did I just drive down and remembering suddenly now there was a woman that I think was having some sort of a mental breakdown.

She was just being very, very very quiet, and then she said.

I just figured she didn't want to talk, and I wasn't making a weird face or anything. And then she said, I feel like you're angry with me. And I was like, I'm sorry, are you talking to me? She's like, I feel uncomfortable and scared of you. I thought she was like listening to a yeah, a language tape or something, so I was kind of ignoring her like this, but I was getting really nervous and I can feel my heart racing, and I said, I don't want you to

And she did. She let me out of the cabin, so I called and I left the message.

I don't think anyone ever got back to me, but she was she should not have been driving, and it was scared.

She was distracted and it seemed like going to wack.

But the other time, this old guy just introduced me to Alan Partridge Roger and we have Alan Parsons, sorry, and we listened in my Yeah, I was like.

The whole family Parsons.

And watching TV.

He does stop.

He hung out for a half hour and just we talked about music.

And he wouldn't leave and it was off the'clock, and I was like, I love that guy. I want to hang out with that's sixty something year old guy again. But again, you have their phone for just one day and you can never call them back forever gone.

I had one recently, one scary so I was I was working. I was shooting a small part of the show on Staten Island and didn't wrap until like eleven eleven thirty pm. They were calling, like the production was calling me an uber. So the uber coms I live in Harlem. Harlem is Staten Island. When I was getting there, it took about forty five minutes, which I was like, oh, not so bad. Going back, it was like almost it

A door handle sawt off situation.

I was like, oh, he's taking me to somebody else. Why are we going to another state? Why are we going to another state?

Okay? And then I was like where are we going? Like you know, I got I.

Tried to say something and at one point I called I called Andy and I was all like just talking to him about something and I was like, yeah, i'll.

See you did the did our child eat yet? Like I wanted him to know I had a family, Like I was trying to personalize myself, you know, from him. And then literally it was like I'm.

Terrible at geography and like from Staten Island, I didn't I realized that New Jersey is very close and to avoid the traffic, we needed to go into.

Jersey to go up and around.

Yeah, I was like a good twenty five minutes before I realized it. And then when I got and then we got there, I go, I'm so sorry.

I doubted you. Yeah you knew what you were doing.

Yeah, you know, just because he's a good navigator doesn't mean he's not a murderer.

Well he was also like cold too.

He was like really like you know, he didn't say anything, So it was like already the tone was set in a sarky and because it was so late, and I was just like, so that was like reasonly. And then one time in La I had an older man driving, probably in his seventies. I think he even told me that, and I was he was picking me up from work or taking me to work in the way like universal

Yeah, well, well, well.

As he drives, he proceeds to pull up his wife's YouTube videos. Oh, hands me back his phone so I could watch his wife because she is a very funny comedian.

Then he pulls up his reel.

So now imagine an old man trying to drive and search the internet at the same time. Oh boy, And then he gives me his phone. I'm like, don't you need your phone to know where to take me? Like you like directions on it? And he's literally showing him and his wife's like they're like acting reels.

And I was like, oh, this is sir. You should keep your phone. You never know when your agent might be calling.

Wait.

That one was in La. Yeah, of course, oh, thank god. It would have been worse if it was if you were like a JFK.

And then then it was like an old cap driver that's like, I've got a dream.

You've got a real I just someone like that.

There is a senior comedy YouTube market out there.

I know because he said she started stand up. He's like, she just started doing it a couple of years ago. She started like a seventy and I was lady, no, I don't know.

They're doing the open mics in Austin would bring out when I started there, they'd bring out these characters that were really unlikely comics, and there were a few like seniors that were like, I've always wanted to do stand up. I wrote ten minutes of material and they'd be around all year and they'd get really good and then you know, of course die but I'm just kidding, or they just stop showing up.

I mean, people die. Let's talk about it.

No, No, you're right, you're right, it's real. It's a real thing in this country. We're afraid of death.

Yeah, open micers die all the time. Yes, let's face it.

You can hear them right now.

Booked comedians, you guys need to face that open micers fit are.

They're at risk in a very real way, the older they get, for WORSA. Here's here's what I love on this show. Off times.

We try to keep we try to keep time, and every anytime I look, it's always like, well, be like halfway done.

And that's what I thought was going to happen, and.

We've gone over. Of course with you, of course, I love you so much. Name, I are adore you so hilarious.

And Chris, I adore you now too.

Yeah, I agnore you as well. I'm glad you I did not I thought you were still in New York. It's great that you're here. Let's be friends when it's safe too.

Yeah, let's all go meet outside somewhere. Yes, and just yeah, I have an iced tea.

Let's I have an eight year dinner.

I owe you.

But still hanging on my personal debt wall, my friendship debt wall.

Oh, it's so long. That was back when I used to act like it was. There was a quarantine, but it was just at one house.

Because I you were like, I don't go out.

I have to meet outside at a safe distance, and it was like it's twenty seventeen.

She's what a visionary she do?

You do?

You can feel it? Is there anything you want to plug?

Oh? You're Comedy Central half hour? When's that gonna air?

I don't know when the Netflix half hour airs, but it will be sumheretime in October, is what we said about. I don't have an exact date, but just like, look out for it, guys, because I will not stop talking about it, so don't worry.

You'll find out.

And as always, yes, listen to the pods couple's therapy. We're always having fun. Okay, and it's I noticed not a ringing endorsement, but it is. We're having fun. Come join the fun, call us, ask us your relationship questions. I will answer them. Yeah, And I love a Lifetime movie. If you don't have to watch the movie still like the podcast.

That's sometimes that's the best thing where if you've seen a Lifetime movie, you can throw some some I always call them airbuds. You can throw some air buds in do the dishes, and it's it's just people hilariously retelling you a Lifetime movie essentially and being like, here's what is amazing next?

Like that's the best part about's.

Familiar with any of them. You already know the plot formula.

Yeah, exactly, exactly, and you're just having fun with us. You know, it's like I watch so you don't have to. That's another way to look at it.

Two amazing comedians watch it so you don't have to, and then make it what you wish you could make it.

As you watch it.

Next time you're on me, you will be able to drive you somewhere when it's convenient.

So much and save up some errands. Get a little list of a united place. Do you need to go to the nursery? Do you need to go to the Americana?

Like? Maybe just go to the vet.

We'll go to the vet and then we'll sit in the parking lot wait for me able to get her shots perfect.

You know that'll give us a good hour. Yeah, I like, just wait in the parking lot of Miwawk Alley.

Just some hot car energy car energy so good for.

Carson energy too.

Oh I love that, very similar energies.

Thank you for being here, Naomi, You're terrific.

Yeah, that was awesome.

Thank you so much.

You have been listening to Do you need a ride?

D y n A A? Are are you leaving on you on your way back home.

Either way, we want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and they termino and gay.

We want to send you off InStyle. You wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Malforn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need ride?

Do you ride? Do you mean with Karen and chriss

Mm hmm, yeah, you'll never make the cheerleading squad now, Stephen bad news