S2 - Ep. 72 - Billy Wayne Davis

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style.

We want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Malborn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride.

With?

Karen and Chris.

Welcome to Do you need a ride that? It's Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgariff.

We just just listened to our theme song. I'm going to pretend it's like a radio station. We have to actually listen to it beforehand. But I just I just listened to an episode, the last one that Billy was on. It was almost two years ago. Oh and it was really funny. We're really good at this. We were good at it, we're still good at it. We've the element.

Yeah, we've changed as people. We've been through some shit, we've grown up. Were our car forced out of.

The car, Yeah, we were forced out.

But I remember very clearly driving around in circles in Billy's neighborhood when we recorded that episode, and it was fucking hilarious because uh, he is a great guest.

Yeah, they he There are some memorable quotes and that's why I watched it again or listen to it again.

I want.

Well, that's why I brought up that you have to see it's on. I know you don't do a lot of instagramming, but I put it on the do you need to ride Instagram? These girls there, their mom had them learn our theme song with their piano teacher and they perform it and it is it is the best thing ever, Like I think they took it upon themselves to learn it. But it's the sweetest. And her name is Lou.

Just like Chris in the future. Yeah, just before you post something like that, go ahead and said it to me personally on the phone. Oh really as a sharing technique of a friend, you know, before the digital song. Oh I got you.

Oh I thought you meant me to get approval.

Yeah, I'm you have to see that because I want to see it. I'll see it. Yeah, it'll just be approval paperwork before you instagram and well it is the best. Yeah, Lou Lou a toggy. She forced the piano teacher and the piano teachers like, hey lady, this is G and D. There's nothing happening in this song that your daughters are going to benefit from musically.

Yeah, yeah, they she said, they conned their piano teacher and learning.

Oh, they wanted to do it. It was the mother controlling of it. Maybe it was a gift. I don't know.

It made me very happy, And then I listened to the episode. I was reminded of poo Billy is. You know it's been a long time. It slipped your cotten.

No, we need to get billy centric because it's important. Well let's yeah.

Yeah, well, you know, it's kind of like comedy. You don't start telling your jokes before you get on stage.

I know.

Sometimes it's showing the green rooms.

Better than.

I have more fun than the greenroom than I did.

I'm in the green room for sure.

You're hearing the voice now of our guest today, Hillary Wade Davis.

You I did. It was hard enough to say, like, do you guys just only do this podcast with me? Is that like the.

Basically that will be trying?

Like you guys are doing really well financially, on it. I'm like, I didn't know that it was just me. I thought I was a guest.

No, no, no, you're the guest, and we have you on once.

It's a good calling. It is good. Yeah.

Yeah, he loves talking Billy. Tell us where you are right now, and maybe lightly describe the background that you've used today.

Oh, that's the background is the Redwoods from a quarantine trip I took with my son. I just wanted him to go see him because they're special. And the drive from LA is pretty pretty amazing. It's all of calls, pretty much all of California. You see though as a he's like ten or eleven. So I was just like, you should see how cool this state is. I know people say it's bad, but it's really kind of cool.

I have to be reminded about it all the time, and especially.

Those man you get the avenue of the giants and suddenly you're seeing things that you almost can't COMPLI you can't.

It's I have a friend who's been to the Himalayas. He hasn't like climbed or anything, but he's been to like Nepal and around there, and that's he said that he's like there's a similar feeling there because you can't comprehend truly. Your brain has a hard time comprehending how big the mountains are. That's what I know. And it was like I was like, well, now I really want to go there, like really bad. It's just like it

Oh well, but you could also see the movie twenty twelve Storring. I believe John Cusack because in the beginning, when the big tidal wave comes, it comes over the super tsunami is coming over the Himalayas. That's like one of the just so you get the sense of how destroyed the earth is. So you could rent that if you needed to. That's how I do.

Most of my traveling is John Cusack movies. I've never been to gross Point.

Oh you got it. It's it's just like the Redwoods. Did you go?

Did you drive there's a Redwood you can drive through or maybe it burned down.

I think there's a couple I've never been. I've never done it.

As a child, we went through it and a Volkswagen bus.

We as an adult, I went through with my accident Volkswagen bus and we got snay.

Karen always perfective, perfect, it was the perfect thing.

I just went right above him. But it was because it was a Volkswagen. It was like one of those camper van Volkswagens, so it had extra stuff on the top and it was super embarrassing. Luckily I didn't believe it was going to fit through, so I got out and Pete drove through and then was stuck and was having to like gun it and kind of like and then people who were coming out of the gift shop. It was a thing. It was really hilariously embarrassing.

But you also got to say I told you so, which is like you got that show and then get to get back in like in a relationship that was a huge that's like one up and him just then like it's just.

Think of Yes, it was gigantic wind for me.

Yeah.

One time I got out of the car my friend we put our bikes on his Super U. We were kids, we were like nineteen and drove to like Oregon and he made me get out and just to see if he could go into this parking garage, and I was like, yeah, you're good, You're good, and it's not. It just went and bent handlebars and broke one of the bikes. I'm like, oh, I guess I. I was right there looking at it happened.

Yeah.

I'm a terrible friend and horrible navigator.

I did that once when we were I'm from I'm from northern California. Billy, you may have driven past my hometown as you went up, because after a while there's only the kind of the one road to go up there to the avenue of the Giants. But we used to play against a football team that was out into Mallis, which was almost to the coastline. So it was like a twenty minute drive and it's all just you know,

They have round headlights. Everyone knows that about the Coast.

Big old old shirt, and I was positive, yeah, just immediately, ticket lights. Ticket completely busted. That was the kind of thing where I'm like, I didn't have a different ride home because I would have absolutely taken one because I was the biggest loser in that car. After that, it was bad feeling.

That is why was he driving on the wrong side of the road.

Shit? It was like, yeah, exactly. He was kind of showing off like he was probably sixteen, so he's like, I'm the one driving the car full of kids, and then you know, you're just trying to have fun out in the middle of fields, so you got to do it.

Yeah, we used to. Yeah, there's a lot of back road driving where I'm from, and one of the things people would do is like turn off the lights because you know, there's no street line. You're just in the middle of nothing out where I grew up. So it would just be I. Anytime somebody do that, I'd be like, I'm just going to jump out a car. I hate this.

I hate Yeah, yes, that's straight out about like.

I don't even trust you driving lights on and then you turn them. It's just like this is.

Yeah, you're seventeen. You can't be trusted with with everything going the way it's supposed to.

Your problems are we're going to die to night?

Yeah, we're going to die at night. I used to when I remember all the boys in my class when they got their license, the big thing was they would come pick you up to go do something, and then they would drive like eight because again I lived so far out that it was just these wide open two lane roads that you would be driving back into town on. So they would come down my road and go like eighty five and think that we'd be like slow down,

So I'm not that impressed.

Exactly because I don't have to go to a drug deal with you after this, so it's not that big.

I just I mean, this one's tragic, so I'm gonna I'm gonna preface it. But I remember, yeah, that kind of dumb road. It's it's like in Righteous Gemstones when he said car pranks the first time, like like they ballied over because it's such a Southern stupid I was like, that is the way he said it to his wife and she accepted it like it was a normal thing. I was like, that is just a very I remember these two older kids when I was like in middle school.

Like fuck, yeah, yeah.

Where it's that kind of like why are you one of the fair Baxes from Montana? He's like, what is wrong with you guys? And you're like you ski down a mountain with just plastic on your leg. There's just different kinds of lunacy.

None of my friends were like risk takers, but the fact that we were all in shitty used cars that were decades old driving in the snow, yeah, up to ski areas and for no reason that all the hood would fly open and bend over the snowboards on the roof rack and we wouldn't be able to see. Just shitty car things would happen. But we were driving like old people like, I've always driven really slowly with my chin on the steering wheel. I've always been scared of death.

It was a Bronco too. It was a six cylinder, but it only oh that's only had four cylinders that really worked. So when like that right there. So my grandpa was like, hey, we can get that fixed. And my dad was like, no, we're good. And my grandma, I remember my grandpa doesn't. Oh, you're smarter, and you look so because I was an idiot, that's really smart.

Yeah, he kept it.

He kept it for you. Oh yeah, but I wouldn't do any damage and I couldn't get it fast enough to fuck anything up.

And then yeah, it was like having a governor.

Oh yeah, and I had to put oil in it like once a week and then it would shoot blue smoke out, which is really fun. It was.

I have never had a car until my last car. I've never had a car where it didn't require me to have sawdust on hand to put over my oil spills.

That's just a normal thing. You saw.

You have a piece of wood in the garage that you saw to make sawdust to sprinkle on the oil.

Puedal fresh sawdust. Oh in the morning, are you kidding me?

That's a smell.

Ever, I had a close I also had a Bronco. I love those cars. I love those cars. Yeah, I had. It was kind of an in between when I was like in my late twenties and I loved I bought it from like a friend, so bought it for almost nothing, and I drove around, loved it, thought it was cool. But when I then got a good job and got like an actual new the first new car I ever bought was like, you know, when I was whatever, thirty or something, and I realized how loud that fucking Bronco was.

Bunch of fucking I don't notice that cars did that until my current wife, she has a nice car, and I drove it for a while, but I just didn't need one for a while. And then I rented one on the road, like if you're busy, you don't really you know, unless your dad it gives you need one, need one like once or twice a week. And I was like, math doesn't add up. But now I have

It might yes, it must be some like extra sucky rubber at the top that pulls the windows in or something, because when you know, it's like when you don't notice or care. It's no big deal. And the second you fucking know the difference, it's like, I can't be in those cars something.

There's a hole in the car, is what it's Yes, yes.

It's badness. And then then it's driving me insane.

And you know, when there's a hole in the car, you could get sucked out. I just you know, if you go fast enough. I had a friend who would shout into the road.

He had a hole in his truck and he was just ash that truck, a hole to the ground. You can see the ground.

Yeah, this is oh wow.

Man, I thought Montana was all rough.

What do you.

I mean?

I just forgot where I came from.

It's been too long.

Yeah, just living this life of luxury. I've actually been looking at the new Bronco. I might get my car broke. Oh it's it's just ya.

I get the New Bronco. Yeah that's cool.

It is cool looking. I get so excited about it.

My dad's against it, and I don't like it. Oh now, yeah, I can't really tell me why because he's adamant about it. He's like, I don't like it. I don't like it, And I was like why, Yeah, not because like a friend of mine has one, and I went and because, like I said, I have one. So I was like, I left a party of it. Can I go look at your car? And h He was like yeah, here's the keys. And no one followed me. It was just me. I was just on the street there to the party,

I think dads just want stripped down, simple trucks that rattle.

Yeah.

And this new this New Bronco, a lot of the ruggedness is taken away because there's a there's a backup camera and he did.

See kind of on the inside, like he said, it feels like your sister's cube car she had, is what? And I was like, okay, you mean like there's like a liner room. It looks like there should be.

I might agree with him, I have to see it first if it looks anything like a scion or something.

On the inside. It feels like that, which is cool because it's like roomy and feels like like a box you can kind of move around in.

I okay, I like that. I like a boxer can move around in and you can put all your smaller boxes inside of it and they with it.

Right, it's moving in the box in my box delivery business that I've been.

And they're all in their four wheel drive. Thing is called the goat or something like that where it's like that kind of like that.

I don't know why, Oh, is it can go anywhere?

I was that's animal. Yeah, I just like, that's not an animal that we're lighting. Goat.

We perched on the edge of cliff so you.

Can if we need to. I don't care.

I feel a true Bronco ownership pride, even though it was truly like four cars ago. When I saw the new one, I was like, yes, and I'm like, you already have a car, don't worry about it. I was too, Yes, Yes, it was kind of like weirdly like, oh, that's a club I'm actually in. It's really strange. I kind of forgot about that, the my Bronco face. And it also anytime I see that OJ footage, I'm like, that looks good, especially when the freeways clear and it's just that white. They are beautiful shot.

Yeah, it does look like a white stallion leading other horses, is what it does. You think about that is the way they were all in form Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is like it's like, yeah, is this some vehicular Kentucky derby.

Here's the can we.

Just say as a as this. I don't want to say I've never said this out loud, but like I used to be like, I can't believe people are cheering when I would see that footage. But I've lived in l a for like seven or eight years now, and I, without a doubt, would be on one of those bridges being like yeah, ago, Like I now, it's like it's just something the city does. It's just like a you can see, you're, well, he murdered a lady. I don't care. It's still kind of fun you get into it.

It's kind of yeah, it's not really about it was separate from that. It was a different thing. It was separate. I don't know how it was that no one.

Was, yeah, almost cheering for the murder. They were because he's running from the cops, and everyone kind is that it's the l A p.

Everyone was just like get away, get away.

Get away, get away. And also I think there is this thing of like this is the biggest story in the world and it's happening near me. I'm going to go watch it happen. It's happening near me. Like, I think there's a lot of narcissism in that cheering. That's kind of that's kind of just like group participation of like this is my life.

It is this. You know people that like go up behind the TV reporter and it's like, hey, yeah, it is, like but it's a bigger Yeah, that is very true.

We are because they're not realizing, oh, you're on the news as the dumb ass now. They're just kind of like what a you know, there's no real self reflection that.

I'm blowing it.

I waved and crossed my eyes. It was embarrassing.

I think that's how Yeah, well, now you know how a comic feels on morning TV. Just every time they put us on to you, why is whose idea was this?

This is this?

This is not going to be Let's put nightclub comedians on in the morning on TV. Yeah, that's our audience, that's who that's who's coming to hear us, hear our thoughts about our dicks.

Yeah, exactly in the morning news. I just did a reason before I went to Portland, and I said so many inappropriate things in a row.

I don't know.

What's appropriate and what's not on any of those shows.

Yeah, you're rewarded for inappropriate behavior, words, stories, and ideas constantly, and then suddenly will you put us in the realm where it is not allowed? Now, what are we going to talk about?

Especially after you ask what kind of things will we be hearing at your show tonight?

Like, well, nothing I can say, right, I cannot.

Yeah, actually write it on a piece of paper and slip it over.

To you, specifically the news I did. I have to say this because she's a fan of our podcast, and she was really sweet and.

She laughed the whole time.

At the end of it, I just felt like I had been saying a bunch of inappropriate things. But it was on their website. I watched it, and I think it's just a paranoia. If you're listening right now, thank you for having me.

On the morning. On those shows always still up hostages, like they got into the business to be like I wanted to be a reporter, and now I have to interview this lady about her yarn dog, and then in the manner just like, hey man, I'm kind of on cocaine, so it doesn't matter. And you're just like, I do you need me to rescue you because this is not what you wanted?

Do you want free tickets to my show and out im here? Come on, come with me.

I can promise you, but it'll be similar. There's free chicken fingers where we're going.

Let me pack my bag. Yeah, what is a yarn dog?

Did you picture? Probably the same lady I.

Did, Like yeah, yeah, that she used to do macrimaina owls and now she does more of a three D yarn do.

But she wants to go on TV about it too, that she's made a bunch of them, or she's made them, you know, out of it's like partially yarn, and it's also dryer like she's been saving for thirty years type of you know. It's human interest stories what get us through it is.

And I'm into it. I'm into it. I love craft.

There was one in There was a guy. It was called the Heartland series is the East Tennessee w b I R t V Channel ten news in Knoxville, Tennessee. Is Bill Williams. I have a they made a DVD of all of this stuff. I loved him because like he would go and he was like, today, we're gonna talk to a guy that makes fiddles out of old forks, and he would make it interesting. So it was like a q ole house yes yes, no, yes, yes, but

For whatever reason, He's down the perfect combination. It made me like I kind of like to talk to people, but I really love to drink, which makes me love to talk about At.

The time I found out was like a feature act. So I was like that sounds like my ideal life where you don't really have to travel down far.

This is it still is.

What a great job it would be to have a show like that where you just like that dirty job Skuy where you just talk to someone, you get lit up, you get drunk, and then you you know, you make chairs with him in a factory.

It's like tail sleep during the night.

Yeah, and have a normal job during the day.

Yeah, I wish I had a Dayvatel daytime type show.

Yeah.

It was yeah decent that gave me a DVD with his autograph and it is spribble.

But I was like, man hammered, there's really I feel like there's nothing better. I love watching local television when I'm out of town and other places I love, especially Canada. Canada has the weirdest best, like the people and the tone and the vibe is what. Like we were at the what was that festival? It was me, Michelle Buteau and Ria Butcher like hanging out the whole weekend and

It was like, when there's like fifty of us, at this point, I don't I'm just gonna be in my room. This is too much of us.

It's too crazy. Yeah, it's too crazy. It's going to get out of control. But at this one, I yeah, I definitely would go back to my hotel room and be like, let's take a look at what's going on on this local TV because I would record it on my phone because there was just like there was a game show where people had to guess what like fake personalized license plate and figure out what the phrase was.

Why there's comedians out there that we'll never hear of because the government gives like the art so much money, so that like if you I met it, especially live in Seattle, I met like a lot of Canadian people that would trickle down illegally and then come back up or whatever this so I learned how they and they're like, yeah, I can't really be down here because I'm I've done this program where I have to do art and the

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. It didn't have to go through a series of executives and my sister knows.

How to fill out grand applications and now I have a primetime TV show.

Canada check it out. It's talk Yes, no, it is. I love it.

There was Have you ever seen the Miami Local News? It's art?

It is like watching it lately?

Is I just because I'm like you like any Like I'm going to turn it on as the two soon Local News. I love all of it because it is all it's a mix of like the actual stories and then you know, like three people were murdered near the courthouse today, and then you're like, and strawberries are in the season.

You're like, yes, yes, it gives you, yeah, experience.

In what Miami's right now, Like like Michael bay is the producer of the Local In saying like Aaron was like, is this a sketch? Show, and I was like, man, I don't think kid is Aaron's my wife. She traveled to the times.

When I letter, oh, you're on the road with your wife right now, I just checked because of the heat.

It's also like she's a fancy lady and I'm early on in our relationship. She said she wanted to do the road, and I took her on what I considered the road, and she was like, this is not and I was like, I didn't thank you.

It's not for I mean this. There's plenty of female standup comics who contradict this, but honestly I did. I did colleges. I've done clubs and colleges all over this country. When I did colleges, the couple of condos that I was in, I was like, I have to get out of this now. And I was just like a middler. That was like opening for when Margaret Chow would go

I know that you're talking about St. Paul Minnesota.

Actually, do you want to guess, because Christy your guest is Saint Paul.

Lol. Comedy club in San Antonio has a tough get to.

Oh yeah, yeah, that's a good example.

Neither of those two.

The uh what's the other.

Mall club.

Sacramento, it was tough to get to. Yeah, it's but it is a weird one to it.

Yeah, you walked down a hallway plastic pasta Claire's Children's Jewelry and mattress.

This is where we're art wise, this is the most appropriate. This is where we're It's like mattress store, comedy club, that's where we're at.

Yeah, it's in a strip mall called how About Ardie because it's at the two. It's at the corner of how An Arden, So they had to make a little phrase for it. Oh yeah, that's a sacrament.

Mall.

It's called how about art the how About Arden like strip mall or whatever. That's where we used to that. They had the TGI Fridays where we used to get drunk on Fridays when we were in college. It would be like, we're really doing it, just like the name sings, and.

It was Fridays because they gave you liked me sign my name after every shot.

That is fun.

It was fun.

Yes, they also had a guy fiery uh. A fusion of text and sushi called tex Wasabi was right across the street from that. It's closed no reason. Yeah, it was like a sushi roll with nacho cheese on it. And of course I ate there because it was walking distance from the SEC with the punchline there.

I just had to.

I'm like, I guess I'm gonna eat here.

Here's a a sad depression makes a lot of food decisions on the road. We're just like, I don't know, yeah, that'll feel good for ten minutes.

Sorry, Karen, did you reveal where you were with your.

Okay? Oh of course I know.

That's another actually amazing room to perform in. Just a nightmare to get to the best.

Yes, yeah, the condo, the I can't I don't think so.

Yeah, I've never been in a condo. Situation that wasn't scary. It's like, please put me in a clean hotel room. It can be in Nashville, a holiday in.

A townhouse and it's like two stories and it's like next to people that actually have invested and bought one two so you can't be like crazy in there. And I think texted me like a month ago he's going, He's like, you could tell they were like they're like, just stay in the condo. He was like, you could tell they were doing that part of negotiating where he was like, I don't know to check on this. He was like, hey, what's the condo situation. I was like,

Too.

Nice there is in multiple condos when that because it's not as common anymore that you're in a condo and they give you some broken down van to drive to and from the show, but I recognized it as Brendan Walsh's handwriting. There was always because I guess he's on the road so much. He was leaving uh, like mayonnaise jars in the refrigerator door and on the top he'd say it would say some come, a lot of com no come, and so so someone would buy like gross, and so they'd buy a new mayonnaise jar.

And then the next time.

I think I was in Tulsi, he just kept writing how much come was in each so there are seven of them. Every comic had to buy it because comics only know how to make sandwiches.

I guess, can we just really quickly talk about what the why does Brennan Walsh hate the world? So it feels like he's oh.

You always always forget that part of him where like, yes, there is like a tone where I'm like, he is just like mad sometimes. And then I was like, oh, yeah, he is from Philly. That's just like in them because you have to have it to survive.

There, I'm going, I'm going there.

I just true something there and I'm I'm already nervous because when you're performing for the audiences in Philly, they kind of interactions with anyone there. It's great, I've met terrific people, but an audience there is kind of like make me laugh, asshole, and they have their arms crossed and it's so intimidating.

I don't know why.

And there's I've seen bumper stickers there that say like Philly is funny, and a lot of the like homeless folks in the area. When you're walking at the club, they have jokes. I think there's like a hey, I'm I'm funny too, element Oh for sure, Philadelphia.

So you have to like be you have to get come to their level of appreciation, Like I'm not just going to take You can't just read a Heathcliff comic and make me laugh. You got to really bring it. Yeah, they're trying to let you know.

I think it's hey, you have to have a sense of humor to live in the city, or you will be the meanest person on the planet. So they're all kind of like, hey, we're pretty funny because it sucks here. So because we like. Michelle Balloon's there and she explained she's like a great way to define the city is that people just park wherever they want, and the city tried to police that and they just kept doing whatever they wanted. So the police don't even like those park

Like yeah, it's like it's like like the Philly version of the illegal fireworks on the Fourth of July in l A.

That's my favorite. That's another La thing I love is like just watching and I'll just laugh every time. And Anon's always like why do you always life? And because all of this is illegal, that's.

So they have eighties. People are setting off eighties a week before the Fourth of July.

Just not only can you hear fireworks within feet of my windows, I've been woken up by the discharged like cylinder of a rocket hitting my roof, like actual firework, like rockets have landed on my roof. Probably still yeah, sure, yes.

There was a real good picture of a palm tree on fire from this past Fourth of July where people are just like why are we doing this? Like just like two palm trees ones on fire. It's just like fourth of July.

You just described the best like tourist T shirt that just says Los Angeles and it's a palm tree, a single palm tree on fire. I'm going to draw it, yay, and then we'll find out what I do with the drawing.

Printed on the shirt. Thirty three thirty three thirty three. The whole the idea came out of this podcast. Yeah, yeah, we have hey, and it'll be a big money.

If there's one thing I know about my years and the T shirt business, the big money is about to roll in.

That's true. Yeah, someone set off, like the the one the mortar ones there, they'll set them off during the day sometimes, and one day I just this man set it off, and you know, the whole neighborhood was kind of like god damn it because it scares everybody a little. Yeah, and this man, yeah, this land. Yeah, it was like it was literally like two in the afternoon and everybody was like I was just like eah, I was like

I was like, that's the.

Way to handle that. It's like it's just like you can't even there's one wait till dark so we' can say it if it's going to scare us. So it was like, that is a good.

Point the daytime ones. Yeah, it's what is this about? Because you can't pretend it's about what a firework is? Only four which is the visual? Yeah, which is lighting up the dark.

And if you're if it's before eight pm, you're not lighting it off because you appreciate nurses. You're just being a dick. I I bet, yeah, I don't. I don't understand the loud the fireworks thing. I never did, Like I drove like an old man when I was a kid. I never wanted to shoot off firewall.

I still one.

I love. I love him so much.

Homes to Crustal, Tennessee every fourth of July. I take my son's They know how to shoot, probably earlier than they should, but they understand how to handle fireworks.

And yeah I don't.

Yeah, I'm shell shocked from a second life or something. And but yeah that was in I like the sparkle man.

I'll just sit and hold a battle rocket. I have like the sixth sense at this point, and you need to throw it them like it's not time, and then I'll just throw it and hit something like that youth, my youth.

It's part of the charge of being like, we're not supposed to be this close to gunpowder and everything else that's in there. And when I was a kid, we loved it because of course being out in the country, we would all go down to the creek, our two families that live next door to each other, so there'd be like twenty people in the creek that only we normally played in. And now there's all these adults holding there like manhattans, and we're just fucking we can do

Somesense I found at home Happy Independence Day.

Our family's ears is more nice. There was a family across my grandpa's field, one of the fields, and sometimes, you know, we were friends. They had a pool, so we would go over there. But during the Fourth of July. We would be on my grandpa's deck. They would be on their patio across the field, and we would shoot fireworks at each other. We moved all the KALs out

I almost want to change my stance. I like a projectile. I like a rocket. I like the bottle rockets go in the water and there's somehow waterproof like the Wicks days lit.

Have you done that where you can let them go?

But I just don't like loud, sudden fire cracker like like M. E. D's, I don't get that shit at all.

And also not on the day like on for the July you wouldn't you'd expect it or not hate it.

But I can tell you, Karen that in the golf tournament I did in Montana that the team I was with, they were these barbecue guys and they got incredibly drunk. One of them shot a handgun while we were into the air because I sunk a putt. Another one shot with bottle rocket went off behind my legs. They started driving balls at these geese. That's where I was like, guys, don't get the peace. There's no reason. They're like, oh yeah, we we just eat animals are for eating. We didn't, okay, we won't.

Kill the geese, but they were. I had so much fun with them.

What I just described sounds like a nightmare, like I was being held hostage.

Depends.

I have never last so much. I have done and we ye and we would have we would have won if they were giving out moonshine at h tea box. They got so drunk at the end they couldn't even stand up until then. But we got fifth place. We did okay, But these guys. They were insane. And I haven't been around a bunch of unpredictable, crazy mountain men in a while.

And I do have.

To say the fireworks wear a delight. So I anyway, long story short, I have to change my answer.

Well, it's context, Chris. It's what you're saying is it's context. So if you're sleeping less, no, I hate you're drunk golfing, yes, with some with some mountain men fire say.

I'm gonna say this, and I say this to my uh twelve year old a lot who's entering seventh grade. Is he you know, he tries to say stuff and like shock me and do all that, and he knows that I'm a comedian and you know and all that. Yeah, but I don't get shocked a lot. I'll just be like, yo, there's a you need to watch say and stuff like that, or you need to watch memes like that to certain people, because I was like, there's a time in a place

What you think. Yeah, yeah, exactly, there's no it's not hard and fast rules. That's such a good lesson to teach it, which is yeah, you can like because I I remember when I started, I would always try to make my dad laugh, and I started to realize it was contextual. So if I whispered a certain thing in church, he would start laughing. He couldn't and or you know whatever.

Dads give you early lessons in how audiences are yes and yeah, yes.

Yes, and then there's a lot of like this, especially like but women sometimes they'll laugh at stuff. Within the next day they will not laugh at that, and I think that's a hard ding for children to understand. They're like, what happened right, A happened between yesterday and today that you're not aware of. Yeah, yeah, and I'm not gonna is what you need to do.

Yeah, this is one of those context lessons that you're really going to.

Need to be a seventh sense that you develop for you don't develop.

Yes, yeah, And I guess I'm that way too, because ninety percent of the time I do not want a bottle rocket shot at my leg and for it to go off behind my knee. But on this day it made me giggle and I thought I hugged these guys three different times.

I had the best time a gun and someone they shot a gun in the air.

Course I'd be like, hey, motherfucker.

No, I was just like Oh, you guys are so crazy that I'm scared. You know, when you're nervous laughing or you think you're going to die, so you start laughing, carrying, you laugh when you're about.

To That's that's all I do.

Yeah, right, this was I think I'm gonna die laugh like a defense mechanism.

Prison. Well, then you get worried. You're like, oh, do you know the sheriff for some shit man? Like I don't, How do you? Why are you so cool?

You get away with this? Yeah? You think my judgment about the guy that had the handgun because of the combination of things. That's a guy who doesn't normally deal with guns at all, who's having his own kind of weekend. Don't you think a guy that's like it, Because usually the kind of people who bring handguns with them everywhere are all about like it's all about how you do it and what you do and what regulation.

There is that guy, Okay, Well, then there is the guy that has a gun with him at all times and you never know it and you're like, how did you get a gun in here?

Yeah?

And he is very good with the gun, but in a sloppy way that everyone house is like, I don't like it when he has the gun, but he is the guy that after Simonshine is like, hey check this out, man man may am in and it puts it back. You've had a gun, He's like, I've had a gun on me since I was eleven years old.

Night I was.

I was warned the day before that the guys I was golfing with in this tournament would shoot a gun. I was told they would. I think that they with them. It was, Hey, this guy's coming from Los Angeles. He's a comedian. Let's show him a fun time, I guess, or scare him. But I I just jumped right on board because there are parts of me that are that way. But all the others, celebrity, all the other people in this golf tournament were NFL old football players.

They that's a different lifestyle.

Yeah.

I was the only beta male in this whole tournament. I think like I was the only not tough x NFL football player. It was all football players and three comedians, and I had so much fun and I had to do stand up for them all. It was the best ally before or.

After you're just giving us pieces.

Of this and before yeah, before.

Stand up before and then a round of golf the next day.

Yeah, that's even better because then they're like, how you funny man in the shooting at Yeah that is there, yeah yeah yeah, yeah he talks out. That is great.

Yeah that is That's a good I had.

The opposite where when I went from the Cannabis podcast I have called grown Local. Do you see that drop?

Thanks real smooth.

Almost twenty years in, I'm getting all right at it. I still feel a little sick when I do it.

Thanks mom.

But uh, we went to the Humboldt County and like at first we didn't really know and then they kind of really let us in, but it was like they kept trying to, like, I guess because they thought I was from LA and my partner's like my coast as a grower in Eugene, so they had no problem with him, but they were just like kind of weird, like I don't know if y'all have tricks and stuff to get up here and all, and then like we just like drove up through their gates and stuff and that, oh

I'm like kind of yes, yeah, yeah, you can't say that.

Yeah that's my cold. Yeah that's what happened with my golf team.

Yeah.

They they found out I was from the next town over and they're like, oh, well, none of thatssary.

Yeah, I'm like it anyway, do it all, do it all over?

Yeah, well then they show you more. Then we can pull out this stuff and hey, that is I.

Have a taser. Why that's weird.

I looked at your website because I I was just led there today. It was uh, but you're doing like a weed church in Denver?

Oh mine, I was, man, I forget I had yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, didn't care about it.

Oh finally we can talk about.

Yeah, I'm doing a special in two weeks. It's at the International Church of Cannabis.

There we go International Church. There is a there's a problem. I'm I'm doing a show that night in Denver. Also, if you're listening right now, you gotta go see Billy instead of me. Don't go to my show. His is an important album tape.

Wait, yeah, here's You're a special.

There's two shows, so you can go to Chris's and mine. See that.

Heads up Denver.

Oh wow, okay, well I'll see you there is my point.

Yeah, come hang, I can't.

Yeah, I'll shoot a gun off during the show.

I wish that would be fucking great because we're doing two.

Sets, so like, you know, congratulations.

It should be cool. I've got a really talented director who's done a bunch of heat. He got to start editing. He did American movie and a couple other things where I was like, holy shit. And then he saw a set idea and was like, hey, would you ever want to work with me? And I was like, yeah, man, you're really talented that we don't get approached by those people a lot.

What's the American movie about the guys that made that horror film coat not what was it called coven? Coven?

Yeah? Not the guys from Minnesota or Wisconsin. Chris Smith was a dress.

Yeah, yeah, that's a hilarious movie.

This guy, he was the editor him and Smith edited together. Cool and then yeah, now he's a director and he was like. I was like, well, I have this weird idea for to do the special in this spot and he was like yeah. His eyes lit up and I was like, listen, there's no money involved in stand up because he like drinks, commercials and ships, so he's got like money. And he was like, oh, this is cool. I want to you know, whatever they want to, we'll work it out. I just want to do something cool.

What's the spot? What's special about the International Church?

It's a church, it's cannabis.

I think it's cannabis.

Yeah, using cannabis because of the stigma of pot in marijuana. Yeah, it is uh. It just looks like a normal church on the outside and then you go on the inside. And they hired this I think Spanish artist. I think he's from Spain to do the inside and it is.

Oh like Goudy, like Goya Goudy.

Watch guys forget his name. As soon as I said, like, you don't deserve to be around him the way you must announced that.

Well, yeah, in Spain all the cathedrals, or when I went to play in my Orka, it was all I think goudy.

Yeah, I think you're right. I don't know if this is a but someone that does that, he's.

A contemporary artist. They do the modern artist. He just follow him on Instagram. He just did like the Lighthouse somewhere in Europe, and it's that's I did a set there five years ago and like four to twenty, you know, one of those you know, they were doing a thing and I just remember walking in and like, oh man, I could I could do something fun in here visually? Yeah, and then fast forwards six years, you know. That's how.

And it's only called a church because it used to be a church or is it a religion?

It is a I can't. They have fire filed the correct paperwork and they're referred to themselves as the Elevation, So it is a practicing church that you can wow.

So you're doing like a cult comedy.

I don't have. I don't want a cult. I just want people to pay me money. Yeah, uh, to talk about traumatic events that happened to me.

Well, Denver is the only place or the first place where I in the audience I openly saw people ripping off full sized bongs in the audience, like.

Yeah, like just bong reps.

I'm like, oh, so you let All it means is they laugh at jokes. A second or two.

Late, man, I did a show it's not at a label place. It's not open anymore. And I knew it wasn't because the guy who owned it had bunch of neck tattoos and he said he figured out a loophole in the law. And I was like, you're you're tattoos. Let me know you didn't. Just let me know that you're courageous. More than anything.

It was an art grant from Canada.

Yeah, but it was a thing in Colorado. And what would happen was it would be that thing where they were hitting the dab so you do the joke. It would take an extra beat for them to laugh then because they were all so used to hit their like daboholics. Then after they laughed, they would have to cough after that, so there'd be another bead or two after the laugh where I was like, Okay, this is a different type

That's amazing.

It was, I mean it was a good I mean it was, you know, over one thousand something dollars for what I did. Was way you know, I'm sure as far as I'm illegal, it was like all in fives. Well, yeah, you guys.

This is.

Yeah, that's Clevi Corpus Christy.

Yeah.

I mentioned this before, but that at the end of my show, they said, we don't have enough money right now, but we will give you this gun and you can sell it. And it was like a chrome, shiny gun in a feltline, fancy wooden case. And I was like, I don't want to have that though, because I feel like that's illegal. In retrospect, I'm like, yeah, take the gun and sell it at a pawn shop.

I probably keep the gun. It's probably worth Why don't they go fucking sell the gun. You're looped into some weird.

Yeah, I know, I know, I don't want to usually because they can't move it.

It's like it's like when they used to try to play Dudes and Cocaine. Yeah, and they and you're like, it's because you you would have sold it, if you could sell it, They tell you work man, it's.

Yeah, yeah, I'm not kidding.

The green room there a it was they had a Scarface framed poster and on the TV was the movie Scarface playing. And then in the end, of course, they tried to pay me with a gun. I think it was a last minute fixed Karen. I think they're like, oh, we just realized so and so took our money. Instead of killing him with this gun, let's give the gun to the comedian and then we'll just beat him up with our hands later.

Yeah, really like we'll implicate him in some crime. Yeah, like there everything about that. It is just like, I know how but you sell the gun and you came back with the with all the cash you would have.

You would be proud to know how quickly I turned the gun down. It was like, oh no, no, no, no, I'd rather just not get it.

There was a guy.

There was a guy, and I'm not going to say, well, he's not there anymore. But uh he would pay you your check. And then he was a legal gun salesman, like he had his and he where is Kansas? If you can which city?

The city in Kansas? It's in the middle, is it of the word Kansas? And the man okay, okay, it's.

It's the literal middle of America, the literal mid continent. It's just Wichita. I'll just say it's the weirdest, sure, weirdest town in America. But the guy he would pay you, he's so fun like a true character, like one of those dudes like, man, you're awful, but I've never met anyone like you, and I can't. And he uh yeah. Every single time he would talk up some gun he had and stop the whole week, and I like talking

Yeah, yeah on an airplane? Yeah, what the rifle. It's such a fascinating like subculture in the stand up comedy world of like the gun trade. Yeah, gun show loopholes.

I don't know if they're trying to sell it. But one time I went bungee jumping and trucky and at the end, which is already illegal, they had they had scopes to see if a train was coming, and we had to gather all the bungeee whatever we did.

Our jumps in.

At the end, they're like, anyone want to shoot an uzzi? They had an uzzy like from a movie and they were shooting it against a stone wall, which just made me think it was gonna ricochet like in Legends of the Fall, and he.

Hid one of us.

But I'm like why, Yeah, what a weird ending to a bungee jumping experience.

There was families.

There, well, I mean that is was like the adrenaline cherry. If you're if you're if you're legally bungee jump and you're like you know why we'll top to stay off shooting a newsy Yeah. Yeah. When you put it together, you're like, kind of makes sense. Yeah yeah.

I think I was the only one triggered by it, and I did not mean to make that pun.

If you signed up for bungee jumping at a thing called bachelor party events, then it makes perfect sense.

It was.

They were called as seen on MTV. I think that was their title, Different.

Ways to Kill Yourself, Dot go sign up. Are you guys excited about the new Jackass movie that's coming out? Just totally? And I know you are, Karen. I Something about that trailer got me good because there was a time where I did cry because there was a time where, of course I love Jackass, but then Wild Boys was the show. It was Crisponscious and Stevo, and it was just another version of it. But like they go went all over the world and I used to my TV

Yeah, it's just yah. Speaking of Mall, the Mall Comedy Club in San Antonio, that's that's where I watched.

There was a movie theater across from the comedy club.

That's where I watched the first Jackass, So that was I had to be twenty years ago.

That was, Oh my god, there's the WTF with Johnny Knoxville. I remember when I've moved Aaron stuff in my stuff, you know, there's a couple of records and the shirts that I had at that point. I mean, my dad were driving the U haul to LA and I played that because Knoxville's from sea from South Knoxville, it's like

Books are made to make for guys like me. That is what it is, though those guys few Like it's the guys you went to high school with worldwide, Like every person feels like that about that group of dudes. They're they're not agro, but they're doing fucked up ship. They're not you know, they're like, they're not the guys that are going to pull the guns out. They're you know, they're the guys are going to do the thing that makes the guy that pulled the gun out drop the

Who climb that tree and put the rope up in the top of that tree. Aren't those dudes?

And those dudes, yeah, yeah, they're the serious ones. You guys are tourists in the danger game. These guys go there every day.

Climb to the top of the bridge to make sure it's secure.

What.

Yeah, I was around Pontius one time. Is with that old XM studio in La.

Am I pronouncing my boyfriend's last name wrong. I can talk about it even, let's take that again.

Like it was very briefly, you know how like you're leaving the studio and someone else is coming in kind of to record stuff. It was one of those m things, and it was like three or four minutes. And at first I didn't know who he was. I was just like, man, that guy seems like fun. He's got like a fun vibe. And then I was like, oh shit, that's the dude.

Stuff.

Yeah.

We saw him at the Gymnasium all the time, and I experienced him to be sweet, alsome, genuinely yay Chris Pond.

Yeah, yeay. I picked a good one. Yeah, you're did. And he also looks exactly the same in that trailer. I was like, oh my god, like everyone else aged and he's just he's just laughing with that name. Big face. Love that guy.

Yeah, I'm excited for that movie before.

I know, we have to wrap it. And it's because of my zoom. But I do want to say, Billy, you have some of my favorite merch of all time, the T shirts you make. I thought that's what you're going to talk about on your website, the T shirt. I'm not good at business, it's but you are good at making merch and like the just go look at Billy Wayne Davis's I guess is it Billy Wayne?

No, that's the someone grabbed it and said on it and it's really expensive and I'm just have it. That's not itw tour dot.

Com, tour bwd tour dot com. And then is the merch on there too?

Yeah?

Shop around? So when when this episode airs is when you'll that's the week in Denver you're recording your.

Spect August August twenty eight.

Yes, yes, it's webs buy some shirts, go watch them do comedy. I thank you, Billy Wayne Day.

Yeah, we love you, We love you, Billy, thank you so much for being here. You've been listening. But do you need a ride? D I N A R? It's like literally nine eight are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you clean. Give us time and they turning on and Gabe.

We want to send you off instart. We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it. We scared or was it fine? Mal porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need with Karen and Chriss