S2 - Ep. 7 - Kara Klenk

Are you leaving? I you wanta way back home? Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. I give us time and they termino and gay. We want to send you off in style. You wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about every scared or was it fine?

Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you mean.

With Karen and Chris?

M Angeline's behind us? Angeline's behind us. This is start recording even.

I'm recording, welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgaro.

The car is very close.

But the one behind us, which very close also is a is a pink Corvette driven by the one and.

Only Angeline Stephen. Can you get a picture? Pure Oh, I'm so excited.

People get there.

She is there. She is famous.

Lookou Angeline. My belief system growing up in LA in the nineties is that it was good luck if you saw Angeline, is it?

Yes?

That's what me and my friend Laura milligandibios I believe. Was a purveyor of that belief, and we would just always say if you saw her, something good.

Was gonna happen.

I like that just mainly because I like pink so much more than green. I don't care about this Saint Patrick's dale aprechaans to everyone they pinch you for not wearing green.

Come on, paink, I'll wear you're you're anti green, I don't want not.

I mean there's certain when you are wearing like an army green or something, and it's within a plaid pant, because you know how uh plaid pants and kilts. But yeah, I'd rather wear pink. It's my point, and I'm glad that's the lucky color for me for now. On this person, Yes, they are the worst. Sorry, So it was a terrible What do you know? It's a car riddled with dent What a surprise.

That car cut in front of me and then took a right turn in front of me. So I just slam breaks on. Sorry, I was so loud.

Will you will you not make me sound like a monsters even on.

That moment, I'll make it sound very like, oh yes, we stopping now.

Oh my god, so scared of I'm scared.

It was weird how for a minute, Karen had an English accent and seemed very concerned. Would tell me the story of Angeline because I don't know anything.

About her now.

She's very mysterious and essentially she had a sugar daddy in the eighties who would put up billboards of her, and she had she was one of the first.

I would say.

She was a revolutionary and trailblazing in the world of getting a ton of plastic surgery in Los Angeles.

Right.

So she had big, circular fake boobs, and she had kind of a very round baby face. So she had a real, like a blonde Betty Boom eighties blonde Betty Boom feel. She just would drive around in this famous pink corvette and just try to be famous, right, And so she got famous for like at the beginning of Eddie Eddie, every Eddie Murphy movie in the eighties, there's a shot.

Of an Angeline billboard.

Oh wow, and it.

Kind of symbolizes like the emptiness and frivolity and you know, sin based like setup of Los Angeles. Yeah, I was trying to sound smart, but then I really did.

Know you're preaching to the choir. I'll start with a real catchy tune and then I just kind of faint. I but that's so common now. She was like one of the first. You know, not everyone always says Kardashian, but people that just create fame for themselves.

Right, she did it. She did it, but by flying in the millboard.

That's right.

She grassroots campaigned it in a way that I respect.

And also she had that thing of like she had.

She was very like lingerie based, and she wasn't necessarily an actress. It wasn't like it didn't seem like she was trying to get parts in movies. She just wanted renown it seemed like. But now, because she's probably in her mid seventies, like she's been doing it for a while, so she's in her either late sixties or mid seventies.

She wears a.

Like a veil across her face, like a Disney cartoon of the Middle East style harm.

Veil, kind of like like Michael Jackson did in the end, and they have a very similar note. I mean that sounds but if you do enough plastic surgery, you get that pointy pixie kind of transparent skin. Yes, picky pit pointy nose, tippy pit pointy.

Nose Wow, Tip Tick tick oh Man, Tieker, Taylor Tinker Smith, Darya Oldman movie No So, but a lot of people.

I like how almost everyone celebrates her, because if I think about it, I think it's kind of sad when someone is then just wants to be famous. That's like part of the thing that's wrong with this city. But with her, for some reason, it's cool because she was doing it first.

And also it's honest. I mean, that's the only reason people are here. They're here to make money. They're here to have power over other people. They're here to be famous, They're here to be worshiped.

You're right. Those are the four reasons.

Those are the four agreements. Read the fucking book. If you don't believe me.

It's what I was chanting to myself on the plane on the way here.

Let's be honest.

I drove you drove in a truck the whole time saying I want to be famous.

I want to have power over people. What was the fourth, third and fourth?

I want I want it with little to work.

I want a shasta.

If I'm good, people will come to me. I don't have to leave the house and ask for things that that's.

The longer one.

That's the truer one.

Yeah, they should come to my door, ring the doorbell. I'll decide if I want to answer or not, and then even still give me things.

When I moved here, I did not want to move here.

It just lined up to where the person he's dating, and then the manager.

It's like, well, I guess I have to leave.

I was actually enjoying myself in Austin, Texas. I bet that was the one thing all of the comedians there actually said. So, I'm not going to Hollywood. I'm waiting for Hollywood to come to me. That's just not that just doesn't happen, it not. I mean sometimes now more than ever, I suppose.

Well especially it's those people who said it in the nineties were real, yeah, visionaries, because you know it was going to take it some time, take us some time.

I'm sorry, that's my Italian mago coming out.

The one thing you love, the secret to Pizza cross. You let it take us some time.

Something's going on.

Well we haven't gone to Starbucks, I know, so there's some real verbal issues.

We all heard Tinky Tiny tailor, and it's because I haven't had my cafe.

It really mellows me out.

Gets me and it gets you focused.

And or makes everything worse.

And really charges it up a notch. Oh oh, I know where there's a drive through. We're fucking going to it. Yeah, that's right down the street.

Oh my god, I'm so excited now.

I live my life Starbucks drive through to Starbucks drive through. That's all the time in between is time wasted. I just want to be as a Starbucks drive through.

We should just But can we just spend a day working there? They're always so happy. I would today, I because you know I've been there today already.

Do you know this about me?

Yeah?

You know this, I've told you guys. You can smell it on me. I rink of coffee. I'm covered with some kind of a pre made frozen sandwich.

Dust because they come with a powder.

Oh man, oh that's gluten powder.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's meant to swell you up.

It's meant to swell up your glues and I, uh yeah, they're just they were so happy this morning. Everyone was like and there was kind of a stressful day. There's people waiting, they were being impatient, and none of these workers broke character.

They were so happy.

Yeah, and put me in a better note, I think.

Can I suggest the reason is because they get benefits there.

So a lot of those people have insurance.

They have the peace of mind to know that if they fall down and hit their head on one of those metal counters and split it the fuck open. Oh what's going on here that they will Hollywood Boulevard is a buzz ladies.

Oh, right in front of Jimmy Kimmel's El Capitan Theater. Maybe Maroon five is doing a street performance on a Chevy soundstage.

The book's going on this stupid town.

It looked like a circus. Actually, it.

Looked like people pretending something was going on. There was a pretent.

That's what Hollywood is, Yeah, people pretending something's going on. The only thing missing was animal abuse, so there might as well be a circus.

There was definitely a guy kneeling in the middle of the street with a white, sorry a yellow reflective vest on because he was somehow on the safety team.

Right, Well, it was there.

You know that a lot of these safety teams pray before a big function.

They've got to pray, pray.

Well, you know, we've got to pray just to make it to day.

I used to practice the too legit to quit hand.

For some reason, that took me a long time to get the it's two and then an L and then then two, too legit, and then and then it's just a two and then an L and then a two and then an L and then you do it no, thank you, karate twice around?

Yeah, yeah, too legit, too legit to quit.

I think I always would start it and I'd end up accidentally doing the cut it out full house, which is way less, and.

Then putting the L on your forehead and being a loser. That's like a trip.

Oh, there's so many things people used to do with their fingers that I'm glad are gone.

Wait will you text our guest and ask her if she has a Starbucks order?

I will?

Can we have some?

This is just a quiet time, This is just a quiet Can we get some texting music?

Can we do?

It's probably real fun? And while we're podcasting, we just you tasks?

Was that proceeding.

As we're recording? It's oh, good good. This is such a one stop shop.

I'm happy to provide any kind of instrumental hold music. I'm a big fan of kind of pointless instrumental.

Yeah, and it will be royalty free. That's right, because it's coming from your musical brain and all.

And every idea I have goes like this, do.

Well like you're coming back from commercial on love Boat episode an especially romantic one.

Now I can't remember.

I like to reveal my age and also exclude most of our listeners.

But just talking mad love Boat.

Get out millennials if you don't know what love Boat is, and it absolutely was a real show.

Every you guys don't know this, but every year I secretly do a Christmas pageant thrown by Fred Willard. It is filled with stars from yesteryear and the sweetest man I've ever met.

It's I'm sort of kidding, but I do do this show and it is Fred Willard's Christmas paget.

Yeah, and Isaac from love Boat was on one of them. And he's the nicest, most NonStop happy person that just laughs and says sweet things to people. I can't remember his name, but Isaac from the love Boat. Ted, you're going to know it.

I'm going to know.

God, she's going to know what everybody.

Because also, you know, it's really cool there it's Ted. Give me a second because I used to have all those guys. Fred Grandy was the was Gopher That was mine, my sister's favorite show.

We were obsessed with The Love Boat.

It's like and he goes like watching.

Yeah, points to the camera.

Yeah, especially in the beginning.

Yes, yeah, they in the open opening credits.

But he also is in a James Brown documentary because he is from South Central and he is fucking talking about black civil rights and it's like nineteen seventy and he is a super badass in this and you it's the weirdest thing because everybody else you see speak is just a citizen that lives in South Central that's like things have to change. And then all of a sudden, here' fucking Isaac, a young Isaac from a love Boat who's like, guess what, everybody, it's the best.

I can't stop liking that guy because immediately he was like, what's your story, Let's be friends, and I'm like, I sir. And then later on someone said that to me, but I didn't recognize him because it's been so many years.

It was just a sweet man, Stephen.

Have you looked it up?

Ted Lang?

Thank you. I would have never thought of that last name all I could think of was.

It's a cool name.

Anytime the name Ted comes up, the next thing that comes up is Fresca, And then a picture of his head remains for the rest of the day.

I might as well get a tattoo of it, just.

Forever, a tattoo of remains of the day.

Yes, of Ted Knight's head.

Okay, check this shit out.

Oh wow, I've always wanted to go to this one.

Really. Yeah, that guy needs to move up and grow up and show up.

And when I look at you, I throw up into this line.

Okay, here we go.

This is good, good work.

Thank you.

I told you you're a good driver.

Oh thank you. No, it's high fucking time.

You're very good at it. You're very good at it.

Thank you. You know.

Can I tell you I was yelling at my dad move up, you selfish dick.

Yeah, there's plenty around there.

Yeah, he's he's just choosing not he's not paying att Yeah, he's.

On busy being online ordering more. Our son hats, several son hats.

My sister and I are very critical of my father's driving, and because he is like he does the thing where he pulls up to a red light and he goes past the first white line, and he goes past the second white line.

Fire he just does like.

Yeah, he pretends like he can do whatever he wants, and it's like, you're not driving a fire truck.

Did he used to drive the truck?

Oh yeah, he not only drove the truck for a while, he was the tillerman, the back guy.

My brother in law.

Oh really, yeah, Well we must have talked about it. We must have talked about this because my dad took it.

Out very well, may have, but I have no memory of it.

Really. Yeah, because my dad, driving one day, took out a bus stop with the tiller, got loose and it swung him on the tiller into a bus stop.

It's the fun part of the story. How many fatalities there were.

I don't think there were any fatalities, but people did definitely get hurt, including my father, really and he was involved in a lawsuit because the city was oh no, you know responsible, or you know, involved, because they it was their equipment that failed.

Always in a making line of what ends up being a terrible situation. I'm sorry about those people. Well, enough time has passed.

I yeah, it's been a long time, and I also think I should maybe have brought it up.

Oh. The point was my sister and I always give my dad shit. Dude, we always give my dad shit. But one day I was realized because he really is just like the most selfish, insane driver. And then one day I realized he has both a regular driver's license and then whatever the truck driving licenses because he has to.

Oh wow, so he's.

Actually much more qualified than almost everybody I know to drive cars. But we like never stop criticizing him.

I'm sorry. That's a theme to mash. What's the Starbucks theme?

Starbucks a commercial?

I don't think they have Starbucks. Yeah, no, you're an American bar Starbucks. It's the tourist theme.

But Starbucks, yeah, they never You're right, that's interesting. They've never had one television ad.

Right, they do sometimes at Christmas now, like when they launched they never did.

No, they just started bringing it out in the streets of Seattle and it was immediate hit.

People love burnt coffee, myself included.

That is the secret, isn't it.

I think it is.

There's many different types of beans and they over bake them. Yes, is it a baking process roasting? I believe famously it's roasting.

I think it's roasting. It's a combination of the two.

It's braised.

We had sometimes we are lucky enough to stay in fancy hotels when we're on the road, and they see hotels and hipster hotels, like there's a lot of them in Austin, and they love to give you not darkly roasted beans in the coffee, but very light and blonde roasted beans in the coffee when you order like a coffee pot.

And it's truly the most disgusting product ever.

You like it dark?

I really need it dark? Yeah, Italian style.

Yeah, Yeah, I hear you.

I do, I do, I hear you. That's something I say all the time. I want to sound terrible.

Yeah, we are caroclin kits our guests today.

It's okay. Have I let just a little cat squeak out of the bag I do, just squak it out of one little kit, out of my bag of cats.

About out the guest bag of cats.

When I think of bags of cats, I think of the opening to Gummo, where these crazy kids are riding around on BMX bikes. There's Metallica music playing, and for some reason they have bags of dead cats. Isn't that horrifying? Yes, it's kind of documentary style. But I don't think any cats were harmed.

In the making of that fing No, but I bet you that was real roadkill they found.

Yeah, they probably didn't have the budget for making fake dead cats.

It's so much easier to come across real ones.

Those are so expensive because they're made of chinchilla.

Do my stories always be Are they always sad?

No?

That's my stories?

Oh okay, No, yours are fun.

Yours are fun. It's you know, kids with cats?

Yeah, exactly. Who doesn't like to be young and have friends?

Now, that's the scene that stayed with you in Gemo.

The scene that stayed with me in Gemo is a little boy in the bathtub eating spaghetti.

Oh no, if I remembered it, it would be nothing. You know, plucks at my heartstrings like little boys with spaghetti and the kid on the bus that I've talked about with a little bag of spaghetta.

Oh, yes, that's the best.

Just he's a real person, he's a real boy, he's a real Jason Statham. Yes, I feel like I always say about that kid because it was so weird.

That in so embarrassing for him that he had to be bringing home school lunch, Like he had to ask for it, he had to leave school with it, he had to get.

On the bus with all his friends.

Yeah, and none of them they're like, yeah, sometimes some of my friends have to bring food home.

It really bummed me out. It will forever.

Here's something I suggest that might help you. Yeah, local schools, if you go in and say I would like to pay for some school lunches this week, they will provide free lunches for kids.

You can go in and be like, here's one hundred dollars.

However, many school lunches that pays for and you can do that for like underserved communities.

That's a great idea, isn't that the best?

They were People were doing that on Twitter for a little while when people started learning about how badly funded schools are and like kids that when you shut down a school or people go on strike, there are kids that then don't eat all day because they're not at their public school being fed.

Like that's the reality of some kids in this country.

And so people got kind of weir of that, and then they started making those donations and it's really one of my favorite because it's like small and local but very effective. You could really help people.

You're so good at this every time I start talking about dead cats or you just bring it right to an uplifting public service.

I mean, I feel like it's my job to stay ready and then you tell your dead cat story. Boom there I am with it. Some kind of vague charity. I love it that no one can prove exists, but truly does. But it couldn't be more vague, and I couldn't be saying less of an organized thing.

Yeah, but anyone can go and say, hey, bring me to lunch, lady, I got a bag of money.

It's as easy as that. You don't even have to go to a website.

You don't. Yeah, but if you go to a local school, know that if you are a single man, don't go storming around, right, Maybe knock on the door, see if they let you in. Don't go near the playground at just be chill. Send a check in the mail. That's the best case scenario.

Right right, and do not make any eye.

Content in the mail. Please.

I don't even know how you do it, but please. Yeah, Kara said, it's fine, she can wait, it's.

A beautiful day.

And does she have an order? She said, no, thank you, that's bullshit. No thanks, I'm good Stephen the US, Yes you Hi?

Can I get a Venti vanilla latte hot.

Hot vanilla l okay?

And can I get a venty iced coffee plane?

And then she ice coffee? And you want what do you want? Yes? Two of those? Please?

Actually correct? Yeah, Okay, I have to stop. I've said it before, but I really am stopping drinking mochas because they're just there's no need to drink coffee hot chocolate.

Oh right.

I mean I don't know until because I always have my Bland sugarless. But then when I have the real deal, I'm like, oh man, this is a slice of cake that is in liquid form.

It's the most delicious, but it's like, you know, I'm gonna start saving this for special occasion.

Yeah, or just taper off with the pumps.

Well I do.

I only do one pump anyway, But still it's too much milk. I said this before on Twitter one time I yelled stop drinking milk to myself in my house.

But like, I just don't need to be taking in milk all day long.

When I was a kid, I remember a doctor saying, please stop drinking so much milk. I was having a problem with my throat always being I was always having to clear my throat, and he said, you're drinking too much milk. Wow, isn't that crazy? That's a real memory at least. But is it information?

You know?

I mean, did you do it and did it work?

I don't recall. I think I just had big bad consoles in. They're trying to blame it on the dairy industry.

Okay, but do you still how's your dairy intake now?

Zero?

Real?

Oh?

Because of your bones and whatnot?

Yeah, because of my bridal bones.

I'm going to get there myself.

I go almond. I go almond.

M hmm.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's just too thin for me. I need the full, the fullness.

Wow, she's a she's a Starbucks model.

Yeah.

I think I was taking her photos. She is he her manager? Or is that a disgusting relationship?

Ya?

Holly?

Would I fully respect a person that can wear gray yoga pants in public? I mean that's a fit She's probably a fit model, you know, fitness model or Instagram model. Yes, but it's one thing to wear black yoga pants in public, which pretty much everyone does full range. But if you're gonna wear also a midriff shirt and then gray yoga.

Part light gray, kelly gray.

Just just flirting with white, I mean you might as well wear white.

Just do it, girl, Yeah, next time.

It's just any amount of spotting, like I'm dripping of the coffee. Please know that, yes, please, you know that. That's what I was talking about.

I thought you were getting menstreul.

You know, I say my period jokes for the end of the episode, much like a sentence period end.

Oh no, oh no, we gotta.

Get car clinking on this ship, all the good stuff.

I do feel bad that we are making her, but like she said, I gotta I gotta stop feeling bad all the time.

Well and also, yeah, if she's told you she doesn't mind, that's one thing. If she had answered and said, I have to be somewhere, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's not really like that. I think she's a chill person.

She seems the chill if. That's one of one of the many things I like about her.

But you know what I'm gonna do.

She's very funny and she's gonna be good. I am going to hilarious. I say, she's going to be great at this.

I bet she is. No, No, she's she's a born chatter. And I'm going to get her a bottle of water.

Yeah. Just even though she said I don't.

Want anything, I'm going to say, you do want something.

You need to hydrate.

We're gonna actually make her feel bad about We're gonna call her dry.

Yeah I saw you coming from three blocks away. You were so dry. Lady, get out of here.

It's gonna be great.

Now. If you we may have talked about this, right if you could drive any car, like any price car, what car would you drive? Oh?

I don't it's gonna it makes me seem boring. I just like, well, okay, you know what I really want right now? After trying to snowboard and realizing you cannot have two wheel drive nice, I want to have a four wheel drive Subaru?

Is that?

Oh?

Yeah?

Like the new kind that's the best. Yeah, they're nice.

I just told Lizzie Cooperman to get one of those because she was trying to find a car.

I mean, I like, hey, you know what I've noticed because they're electronic? Do you teslas not need to have license plates because they never have license plates? Is it because they have no emissions so they don't have to play by the rules.

I don't think so that would be great because then you could crush into things and drive away laughing and no one would right.

No, that's why I'm asking. That's what I want.

Do you think they're on the back and you're only seeing the front with no license plates?

Yeah, I'm seeing the back with just like a bear car with no plate temporary. I think you don't have to get go through the emissions and everything, but you of course have to pay street TAXI.

Street and you have to stay pay street prices for street credit.

Maybe it's just the type of person that gets a tesla is like, I don't have to play by your sin.

I bet it is.

I have a space car and I'm rich. I'm rich. We are getting our drinks.

This is this is quality podcast.

It's well, you know what, there's always lulls. Why shouldn't the show people should? Yeah, not always. Sometimes we're non stop firing.

Sometimes well you know, when we're up in the hills of Burbank Man.

Yeah, it's something about that air. It just keeps us going.

It's magical.

Now we're on the flats, there's a lot of you know, the flats.

They wear in the flats, there's a lot of exhaust, a lot of civilian, a lot of pedestrians.

It's hard to like keep your brain flowing to me obstacles. Look, got those bananas old?

Those are old bananas.

Yeah.

Boy, the window on when a banana is appetizing to me is getting smaller and smaller.

It's short, It's true.

I mean, there's the brand new bananas that are bulletproof.

Can I actually add two bottles of water?

Else?

Pay from separately? You want them separate from this? Sure, if you can add it, that'd be great. Okay.

I am a person that has garbage in their car and I just throw it down in the past, I'm admitting that right now.

I just have garbage in my time. I just throw it down and sometimes I let it sit there.

Yeah, I let it sit there for days, care till it smells weird.

No, no, it's never perishables.

Oh oh, thank you, thanks great?

Here output that somewhere great, terrific. We're off, Thank you.

And why did I think there was a gas pump in the back and we were driving off.

Because that used to be a gas station. That's why.

Yeah, I was having the flashback of a memory of a person that got gased there once in the fifties.

That's right, you were embodying that person. Filler up, mac.

Can, Yeah, yeah, hey mac boy, this street that's even gonna be audible, right?

Oh look, oh it's lodged.

It caused me to have this inn esophageal spasm.

The Lower Highland has some real cement problems everybody.

I'll say it, and I guess it is caused by the swelling and shrinkage of heat and cooling.

Where there's weather that fine with water.

Yes, And it's such a gorgeous day because it's been raining and now the sky is bright blue and the clouds are big thunderheads.

See the mountain, Hollywood Hill Mountain. What is the hill?

It's the Hollywood Hill Mountain.

It is the Hollywood Hill Mountain. That is crisp.

It's vibrant, looks like it's been through some of the Drama Filter on snapseed, one of my favorite filter apps.

The Drama Filter. Describe that to me? How does it make? How does it change?

A long time ago?

When when NICKI Glazer is doing were like photography on Instagram, and I would all of her photos look beautiful.

I'm like, do you own a camera?

She's like, no, It's just the drama filter on snap seed, and I've taken the reins. I apply that to a lot of my landscapes and I'll be damned if I don't get tons of compliments.

That's the snap seed filter snape with the drama option. There's a lot of options on there.

You're gonna want to go straight to drama.

You can save the other options on that app for your mama, dramas for you.

I bring it everywhere to relationships, yep, drama.

Oh shit, you know where I'm going back up to that sucks? Oh where I have to change. I'm going back up to that nightmare that we.

Right right out there we already hadn't.

Okay, so we go over here to get her.

Well, it's part of this podcast, especially when we are going to the air word. Well, isn't that awful trying to orchestrate the time? It would be impossible.

That was the worst.

But today is we are adhering to the old plan because we are picking Kara up from what I'm assuming it was a Hollywood.

Meeting, oh, on a Sunday.

I mean, no one goes to promotion in Hollywood just to have brunch with a friend. That is the epicenter, and that's that's where Seacrest goes in and out.

True, that is true. She must have an a dish or something like.

Yeah.

With the access TV less, she's going to be crest Own.

God, Ryan Seacrest is the king of this town, isn't it.

He's doing it all.

He looks a little weird lately. He's finally started.

To age, you know what.

He also we were just talking about this the when you get plastic surgery face.

Uh oh sorry, I wasn't talking.

It wasn't with you, Oh, I just was talking about somebody where After a while, if you get enough plastic surgery, everybody starts to look like the joker.

There's no other way to look with classics.

Yeah, he used to have like a smile, like he is timidly smiling. I kind of want to show my teeth. But now he goes all the way. Yeah, like he really flexes that face. He uses all the muscles.

Yes, even the ones that you use normally for frowning. He uses those for smiling smiling yeah, yeah, yeah, And.

Then well it's funny my aesofta deal spasms that I've been happening.

That's where I'm eating and I go to swallow and the.

Food remains in my chest and then both pecks. It feels like heart attack, and it happens every other time I eat. Now they are going to put botox in my That's that's all real.

Yeah, I mean a soft age deal spasms is such a funny reference.

But then it's actually happening.

Yeah, yeah, you know me.

People are like, oh you look, you look out for your age. I'm like, oh, you should see my insides. It's nothing but and so I'm getting botox where I'm old on the inside, I'm getting it.

I mean they'd say, either that or a balloon.

What if it gives you crazy Beverly Hills divorce divorced face.

Yeah, just on the inside though.

So it's more of your attitude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know I already have that attitude.

Girl.

No man's gonna hold me down again.

No way. You're a real cougar and a mouth.

That's fun guys.

Oh, I wonder when sometimes when people are driving unnecessarily fast. They think other cars are going to be like, oh wow, I wish I had that kind of confidence.

Yes, I think like showing up.

Yeah, they're like, who is that? Oh, here's for massa great? Yeah, who is that? Who is that danger seeker that I want to be like so much?

And I'm just like, actually, most of the time, I just want to yell slow down at the top of my lungs.

Yeah.

And he deserves it because he was a Honda CRV that's not a performance vehicle no, and isn't equipped for sudden things that might happen in.

The road in the least.

And this is fucking La where dumb people live and drive, So you can't ever go fifty because there will always be someone like throwing a bag of cats out in front of you or whatever.

Yeah, that's one of my better cat bag stories. It actually happened. And correction, they were specifically kitten.

Yes.

Oh oh god a sorry, Hi, Hi, good to see you.

Care you too, We've been talking about you.

I know we have taken so long. Sorry Hi. Oh yeah, we throw everything over shoulder. I'm so sorry.

We were already going to be late.

It's like the first time it's been sunny in a million years.

I'm enjoying it.

The look at the look at that mountain, look at the crisp the crispness, if you will, Karen, Karen, look.

At the of the Hollywood mountains gone.

But we look at the Christmases, look at the nature we live on.

The gorgeous building, look.

At this Christmas building.

Look at Boston Ova, the cafe. Gorgeous. Guys.

Thanks for the ride, girl, your meeting with Ryan c.

Criscal and pretty good.

I'm hosting American. I don't know that that's been a goal.

So we just made jokes earlier. But it wasn't where I thought. I don't know where he does that where there's a background.

But what was I was doing?

I was I was at a podcast Okay, sorry, I mean rival rival.

Yeah, we do know we as long as its West Coast.

It was just some podcasts that these two girls do called am I an asshole? And you, just like they do. You just ask questions like does this make me an asshole? Does this make me an asshole? And most of the stuff I was like, no, I'm pretty perfect, yeah, not an asshole?

And all my an asshole?

For like one of them was like, am I an asshole for being a vegetarian who hates mushrooms?

I think it does make me an asshole.

No, it just makes it harder.

I know my mom is a vegetarian than most of the burgers and entrees.

Like, it's just a giant portobello. Yeah, that was like I.

Tried to eat the shakeshack portobello. It's literally deep fried and filled with cheese. And I still don't taste the mushroom.

Oh wow, mushrooms are I mean, if you have that setting, do you like cilantro? No? Same here, there's a certain taste. Mushrooms taste like dirt to me. Yeah, cilantro tastes like soap. Like there's all these things where I'm like, this is not for eating, right, don't give me that avocado tastes like dirt like avocado.

Interesting.

My stepmom, you know, just slice just regular gray mushrooms. She says she can't eat them because she feels like it looks like sliced mice. That's like true, great, great, She's like, it looks like sliced mice. And it took me actually looking at one. You have to have one in front of you for that if.

You're eating.

From your kitchen, especially grouse canned one. Is there anything worse than canned mushrooms?

Frozen Brussels sprouts? Pretty gross?

We're just listing reasons we don't really like our grandparents right now.

What is going on? Yes, yes, you you guys, not too much.

You have an album coming out.

I have an album coming out. I have a baby coming out, have a.

Lot of things going baby coming out, the baby's dropping, and I think like four weeks and yeah, I'm like nine months pregnant.

Have seen you? I think I've seen you since I've been pregnant.

I just like wasn't telling people, Like I waited a little longer than most because I want to get work sure, so I.

Like didn't put it on social media, and like was kind of.

Just telling people face to face when I when I started showing, like, yeah, this is not just me getting into carbs. So yeah, so yeah, that's happening soon. My album's coming out on the.

Eighth of March. Nice. What's the name.

It's called Undefeated, which ironically is a reference to getting pregnant.

Like I do a joke where I'm like, I've never been.

Pregnant I'm undefeated now like when I recorded it, I wasn't now and you I am defeated, fully defeated.

But yeah, it's my first album.

I'm excited.

It's very cool. Yes, where'd you record it?

I recorded it at the UCB East in New York, where I used to run a stand up show for many years before I moved out to Seacrest Country.

I love.

Yeah, it's greble. It's gone now, all right.

Well, the Chelsea One closed a while ago because a year ago problems. Oh yeah, the Chelsea One closed because they were not American Disabilities Act compliant and so and I think they thought that they were going to probably get tossed out because of a developer at some point, so they just moved spaces instead of becoming a compliant. And then the Beast just closed last month. Oh yeah, they just closed East because I think East Village rents were just skyrocketing. And they now are at a place

So both have moved.

Yes, so now there's one in Hell's Kitchen, and now there's one that's opened four days a week in another venue called The Beast. Yes, it was UCB East.

Bad Comedy nerds. Oh my god.

There's nothing funnier to me when like stand up comics all take a picture to you ever together and then they're like murderers Row. It's like, you know, dude, you think about ways to describe riding.

The bus, you're not relaxed.

You get onto escalator stone, cold killers, murderers Row.

Yeah, all of our metaphors and our similes.

Yeah.

J roommates, Yeah I do.

You're right, there are no murderers with roommates. You just can't hold up.

It's too much to cover.

Yeah, and why do they I've always wanted to live Alone's murder.

Though, I will say Ted Bundy had a girl, a girlfriend that he lived with the whole time.

Yeah.

I do talk about that on my album. If you want to hear the rest, perfect teaser, the best.

Of rolling that in just the private lives of serial killer content that you're gonna get.

I feel like the last time I saw you was that birthday party downtown at the Irish Bar.

Yeah, was it? Jared's birthday. No, it was Neil Casey's birthday. It was Neil Casey's birthday, that's right.

Yeah, And we were trying to maybe get our friend to talk to a guy, and there was a lot, a lot of things happened.

It was so odd.

It was like this huge Irish bar with a bunch of different rooms and it felt like you could just go from room to room and be like, I'm like this, now, I were here.

Now there, Yeah, I'm in the ski ballroom. Now now I'm like a guys girl.

I know, I'm like in college and I'm just having.

Fun with it. Yeah, there was every every room was different.

Then there was just a bunch of old comedians standing at the bar going what are we doing?

There were a lot of comedians there who had had gotten babysitters for the night, like a lot trying to make the most of it.

But it was fun.

Yeah, yeah, I said, all downstairs that place, I think I know where you're talking.

Yeah, I've been there.

You go down, I bend all the Irish, all the pups, one that's made out of an instrument and an animal. You got your your cat and fiddle, your pigs and your whistles, and you've been to.

The one that it's cranes or whatever. It's like it used to be an old bank vault. Oh so it's like so they do a comedy show there and it's kind of like amazing because even if there's only like ten people, the acoustics are so good because it's a bank vault, so where it traps.

It's downtown. Also, that's it's like, uh, yeah, I think it's called cream.

That's Jeremy Rogers.

He's an ex pro skateboarder that decided to become a rapper.

And yeah, that's a gamble.

It is. It was a gamble and everyone knew it was.

But you do you at some point have to like hang up your skateboard, like what I think.

You know how like you can't swim really not swimming, you can't do ballet past over your leg skateboarding.

It's seventeen.

He was like twenties and he's like, no, I'm at the top of my skateboarding career, but I'm gonna wrap. And then he had samples of it and everyone's like, oh no, no, you don't don't do this.

No, his name again, Jeremy, Jeremy Rogers too many yes, ment around.

Jeremy with an E at the end, Jeremy Jeromy.

He didn't have an older sister, so it was like Jerome Jerome with an E.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he was such a innocent, like there's he was such a young, sweet kid. And now he's got he's.

Just got.

Head.

He's headed to the arc light right now.

I think to catch a shake to the He still gets to go to the fanciest movie.

Just catching him matinee. Isn't it romantic?

He's out in the lobby. My name is Jeremy and I'm here today.

Stop it.

Well, there is always a guy outside the arc light trying to sell his rap CD. Have you guys ever been approached by him? No, he's like weirdly charming.

He always like if he sees you with a friend or he like, he'll be like lady like, he kind of gets the he sees me with my husband, he'll be like, your wife is beautiful.

Don't you want to buy her a CD?

To get into it? And he's so maybe that guy's meeting up with him for like some street Yeah. Yeah, I just am not good at the street us.

That's the only thing I am good at. Let's get together.

There are so many of those guys in Venice like selling their music or handing it out, and it's really I'm like, and I every time, I'm like, I do not have any apparatus that plays CDs?

Do you?

That kind of gets me out of.

Oh you're so nice? Thank you? Do you? Guys know?

Has that ever worked? Has any is anyone's behind the music story ever? Like I happen to give my CD on a subway to Liuta Chris.

Yeah, Andrew w K Yeah, Wait, well maybe.

It's some Luda. Chris gave his CD to somebody on like a subway. I think I think Litta Chris.

Needs to sell his CDs out of the back of his car, and I hope that's how he goes.

That's part of his lord I know. But he also was a DJ, so he probably didn't have to do that that much. I love Ludicrous because to me, he's the funniest rapper. He's fucking hilarious. His rap raps are so funny.

Yeah, he's like, why is anybody rapping about more seriousness?

Very alone? Yeah, he's the best.

Yeah.

My favorite rap has always been sense a humor rap, right, sense to humor rap. You know a genre I've created that's been around a while.

And yet there's nothing worse than comedians rapping.

Oh I know, please good? So many try.

I mean, my name is Karen and I'm here to say.

This is a microphone.

Take it away from me, please permanently, because.

I shouldn't be doing this as a comedy it.

I don't know.

You guys are like, we're pretty good, like weird on the right.

We say we established we don't like it, and then given niggas sample and then.

All of a sudden, your example goes platinum.

Everyone has.

Ludacris hearing it. What the fuck?

This is exactly what I've always wanted to do. That's the best sense of humor rap I've ever heard.

I love that in the music store you would still go to Sam Goodie.

It would be like gangster sense of humor different Christian?

What is do you have a bit kara that you are embarrassed like in any kind of a rap situation from your act all throughout your career that you're really embarrassed of?

Now?

Like if we saw tape of it? Oh, on tape of a tape of like a.

Like like a crock counter bait you had, or a one where you do reggae like I currently do.

Yeah, mine, mine was.

I used to recite a Shakespeare's on it, but in a cheerleader's voice, so it wasn't actually written comedy.

It was just like recitation for credit.

You know those kinds of bits where when you start out and you think it's good.

And then later on you're like, oh, I want to kill myself over there.

Yeah, okay, I'm trying to think like you're like, I've always been pretty solid.

I always been like really good at comedy.

No no, no, I like I think it like the beginning when I was doing stand up, I was.

I was just like.

Telling long bit like stories or whatever. And so I had one about the like drug dealing hot dog vendor at my college, like he would actually deal birth control pills as well, And I think I would like do his voice, And I don't think I was supposed to be doing it, Like I think that I would be embarrassed if you guys all heard me doing Leon's voice.

I don't think it was great. I wasn't I was. I obviously thought.

He was one of the most you know, brilliant characters from my child from my college days.

Sure, but I am, I really was.

I was amazed when a comic gets away with doing an accent, like a race based accent, and it doesn't affect me. There is a way to do it, and I think that the main thing is you don't look like you can be like a white, blue eyed.

Dude exactly because it's funny.

I was, but ten years ago, everyone's tastes were set very differently, and it's a new thing with people. Basically, I think people of color coming up and going, yeah, just don't do that anymore. Right, We've had to put up with this shit long enough.

Don't do it anymore. And people going, yeah, okay, we get it. You don't like it, and we won't do it.

Yeah, until you're at the Ice House, a place that for some reason books me and the audience is all types of folks and they expect race based comedy and I don't have any Yeah, I have one.

Joke about redheads that I apologize about. I have no and they and I don't do well there. And then the next person's like, you know how this group is?

And then.

Has anyone I seen the television show Whiskey Cavalier.

Oh my god, is that real? Has anyone seen ninety million ads for it?

Yes?

That I have never seen a show so promoted, like I think because the Oscars were on the channel that it's on weird.

It is literally who.

Is Scott Folly? And my question?

I have all the answers for you?

Okay, Yeah, fully is from Felicity, Okay, okay, which I guess we're still giving guys. A.

Yeah, Kerrie Russell's there.

And then she is apparently famous from Walking Dead, which I don't watch, but that's like apparently she's a big character walking down.

Yeah.

Yeah, So this is like this she's c i A, he's FBI and they have to work together.

Loving it? I am loving.

Oh.

I love the subtle differences between the CIA and FBI protocol and the comedy Angels.

They're basically Monta using capulets of the federal comman.

Urisdiction during murder. Oh, it's just like sheriff and police comedy.

Yeah, imagine the Blazers Whiskey Cavalier though that's just a couple of words I don't want to even hear on their own.

And like they're doing, they're trying to do like funny commercials.

Like there's a commercial that she does that's supposed to look like a tampon commercial, but like.

The tampon's a bomb, and so she's like, I need.

Something that looks small and discreet and then throws it and it's like a bomb. And they're just really laying it on so thick, and I guess they're supposed to be sexual at tension between them and a whole will they won't they? And I'm just the fact that it's called Whiskey Cavalier. I have been complaining about it for days.

Oh that's great. I'm so glad we so part of it.

I feel like there's now that we're talking about it and I'm hearing the name that I've heard the name and it's someone same as.

Producing it, Like say it's a is it a it's a Scott Wolf of Scott Wolf, Dick Wolf. Yeah, or it's someone in that vein of like some one famous but.

That that billboard screamed of a you know from the people that brought you Hawaii five os. Yeah, current unwatched on television show that's in its twelve years.

That is, they don't have to be good to last. Yeah, that's the magic of Hollywood.

Yeah, it's amazing when you hear that'stat like how long Bones has been on without no one's ever watched it, or like you know the highest paid actors Mark Harmon what from the cores commercials? Yes, it's like, no, he's on seventeen that CSN tis that you've never watched.

There was just a skims phones I heard about.

Yes, oh right, like something going on with like their residuals or they're they're they.

Were keeping that show makes so much money and a Fox was keeping a bunch of money and not reporting the actual earnings. So they were ripping off the EPs and the stars because they all that was all percentages.

Oh shit.

And yeah, so they basically were hiding the personercentages and not paying their people their full amount.

Yay wo yoah, oh.

Come on guys.

And it's like one hundred and seventy million dollars that they have to pay out.

Oh wow, yeah, I was just reading that article the other day.

Yikes, Yeah, they have it.

I'm not nervous about Fox.

No, I think Fox is doing good, got it, They're doing really good money. You wo.

What a bunch of dicks.

When am I making this up that when Fox first came out, all it was was news and the Simpsons, like writing news and just the Simpsons.

It wasn't that the first thing?

And married with children and married?

Yeah? Yeah? Oh wow.

It was a little janky at first, like it seemed like the fourteen year old boys station, right, and then they developed it out from there, like when it eventually got to the twenty four level.

But at first, yeah, it was.

That's the fourteen to twenty four.

There's other networks like True TV is like, let's go for forty yea True TV?

Yeah, the.

Only thing I really want to watch it, do you guys? I love Amy Sedaris. Every time I see even a clip of her, like always the best?

Yeah? Is there anyone that doesn't think she's the best?

I feel like, no, I don't know why I'm asking be controversial, but I did watch the show a couple of times and was like, I'm having a hard time getting into it. And I think that might mean because I'm such a super fan of Strangers with Candy that I'm.

Just like, why is she talking all?

Like, she's talking so enormous. I really want Jerry blank back.

But I mean I think the show is like super cute and fun.

It's just, uh, it wasn't what I was expecting.

I'll say that.

Yeah, yeah, it's just to stir the pod and get the podcast, just like advocate.

I like everything about the front seat.

I'm in the front seat. But yeah, it is like a mock cooking show, like a.

Right, yes, I'm gonna go ahead and crafting wat she has.

She has like very funny people on, like she'll have genre ly and like Cole's like a magical comedian the best.

And there's a.

Lot of police activity today.

Yeah, what's going on?

We are getting turned on Sunday?

Is it just because it's the Sabbath?

Oh, it's you know what it is is? Yeah, you don't have to don't worry about it.

Your whole life. People have done things for you.

You guys will drive that way.

I was gonna say it's ash Sunday, but that's incorrect. That's incorrect. It's Ash Wednesday. So it's some it's like palm homes. I think, so, oh my god, I can't believe we're out. I think to get some fresh fish and get inside.

I can't believe there is in charcoal on my forehead. I grew up not knowing it.

I'm Jewish and I'm looking to both of you. But luckily you're not judging me because you don't know either.

I went once and there was just a lot of painful kneeling and I was like a kid, and I'm like, this is bad on my knees.

I was somebody yesterday at a party who was like who was like, my niece is getting christened, but like, I don't think I can go into the Catholic church anymore because I because everything. Yeah, And I was like, interesting, Yeah, maybe I can use that as an excuse to not go to any more Catholic mass weddings.

Yeah, like meet you at the reception. Yeah, I don't believe you know, I just can't. Just it's like a let's go to bring the Catholic child to be scandal? Was that not one of the people.

I've been I've mentioned ten times Bags of Dad and cats always comes up for me.

So I even been not afraid to go there exactly.

That's the point is. And when I said cats, I meant the kittens even worse.

But the news.

Lately has been something I even been paying attention to I feel like I should be watching this Cohen stuff and I but there is a bitch of a bishop or with Catholic there was a bitch like he was the coolest, he serfs.

And everything, but it's only to get close to the kids.

Apparently, yeah he was.

Yeah, there was a new guy, right.

Yes, there's always a new guy. They always instead of prosecuting him, they just moved them around. It's super creepy. It's the reason my mom stopped. She stopped going to church when I was in high school. Maybe a little bit after high school. One of the first like the spotlight Catholic scandal broke in my life. He was like, I'm not doing this anymore, and we were like every Sunday. My dad still goes to church every Sunday, but my mom was.

Like, he doesn't.

He also tells me when I'm going through particularly difficult or punk rock.

Times in my life.

He's always like saying to my sister, like, my sister will be like, Dad, you're up so early this.

Morning, and he's like, I went to church to pray for your sister. That's been spoken in our house many.

Many amazing Oh yeah, he'll let her know his prayers have worked out though.

You see you're doing great. You know what, Thank you. I'm going to send him a nice car. He hasprooved things. No matter what, Catholicism still works for all their prayers, Dad, Dad, I have health.

Insurance, security in an insecure world, all because of your connection to the Lord.

That's such a loaded toude. Does your sister feel like, why are you praying for me? Or does she just then know she's the favorite?

She's always exactly, She's definitely always been the favorite, and she's definitely jealous of all my prayers, not just my dad, everybody praise.

That's just.

You want to keep you like a faction of your fan base. That's right, people, the people that are doing the rosary in my name, just keeping me alive one more day. Thanks guys.

Now, let's talk about this baby in your back.

Oh yeah, yeah, the baby by the flavor.

We are not finding out. Yeah, don't do that rab bag right, We're gonna it's like, we're just gonna wait till it's like five and it's just gonna tell us. I will reveal itself to us. I love it. Here's my name, here's my security information. You might need here's my pronouns.

Yeah, phone number.

We're basically just uh not finding out.

Yeah, I think that makes the most sense.

Yeah, we're just doing a little surprise.

I don't really feel like I would have done a pink bedroom or something as a girl, or like a skateboard bedroom if it was a.

Boy, right right, exactly, so yeah, and it might just be a boy that's casta and learned to love pink like me.

We say Angeline earlier.

Oh you did in her car she was right behind me. You know, I've seen her a bunch of times, and it's always such a fun sighting. It's it really is the best. That got a great pick.

She was just right behind us. It couldn't have been more fateful, more magical.

I wasn't just talking to someone the other day about her, because I was asking, I was like, how does she afford the billboard that is always off sugar daddy, and yeah, and someone said she her husband like owns a billboard company or something, oh wherever it is.

But that sounds also like someone made it up.

But there's a documentary about her, and in the in it, she because she's been doing it since the seventies and it started out with a sugar daddy that was just paying for it.

That's what That's what I heard, Okay.

But they said her current that would be amazing if she married the guy that like does the picture was giving up on his family's billboards.

Yeah, and then someone was saying that in all of her interviews, like she avoids all questions like about her past, like if you're ever like when did you come to LA?

Or how old are you? Or like anything especially well, of.

Course, I mean I don't know if anyone's dumb enough to ask like anything that would like even allude to that, like you know, who are.

The big influences when you moved to LA because you can kind of figure out buck like guitar pits.

I mean like.

Yeah, So I just think it's so funny that she apparently is super evasive and alls and just will be like just talk about my.

New project, or let's talk about which I don't what does she do nothing that?

I mean, her new project would be another billboard video, realater.

No, she doesn't sing, she doesn't she.

Have a catchphrase even it's like.

Catch phrases. Look up, there's my billboard.

Yeah, I guess you don't ask a lot of questions of someone that leisurely wears a veil.

It's like.

And also I saw her at that store on Laurel Canyon that's like mid Laurel Canyon that you know, that store on the right hand side, like a market.

Yeah, and we were both in there.

She was in line in front of me, and she kept she wouldn't look up at the cashier, and she was turning her face away from me, like toward the door. Yeah, trans am because she had a lot of of course, wrinkles around her mouth and like out here in the face and kind of like cray paper. Yeah, it was a really delicate skin. So I think she has that like too much surgery skin.

Yeah, just like how.

I mean, God bless her to still be pulling a sugar daddy. And she's got to be sixty.

Something, right, Oh, I think she's older than the seventies.

I think, oh my gosh, because she's honestly been doing it since the seventies, right, and.

So that would be fifty years almost.

My god. We were in a thrift store and there was.

A box to sign up for a day with Angeline and my ex girlfriend Madison put her name in there and won.

I was picked up iron drove around with her for the day.

So I was just wondering how she makes her money, and there were Oh, it's just all silent auctions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that there was. She did have to pay fill it up with gas or something, Okay, but it was nothing.

But it's funny because I was just everybody I know that sees her sees her at a gas station. I'm like, she must be constantly just gassing up because she's what.

Did she do? She drives? She actually has more coming.

She is than anyone she's She's just now a living billboard.

She'll bring it to you.

Yeah.

Yeah, I gotta watch this doc about her. She really fascinates me.

She's like one of the I mean, you just I've only lived here a few years and she's one of the first people you hear about.

You know, look up you can if you google her early billboards, you see what she used.

To look like before any plast surgery.

She just looked like any other kind of fera faucet type actions, like a Morgan fair Child.

Yes, exactly, that's her exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah, and now but up close you said she looks like dusty. Well, yeah, because you can't. I'm sorry.

It's like life will change your face, especially if you're driving your ass around Los Angeles in a convertible.

I mean you're going to pull down that all of that, uh, all of.

That would What is it that they always talk about college and yes there's precious college.

Yeah right, she's she needs college and donors she's out.

Yeah, she's got none down to her less reserves for sure? Is I bet you that's scientology? Whatever happened?

Oh yeah, there's like a pread.

It really does look like whatever it is, whatever that is, I don't trust it.

Oh my god.

I really feel like that woman was going to leap in front of the car and then just decided against it.

And then it was like tomorrow.

Have you guys ever had a traumatic oh, yes, or anything on the pod?

I mean no, no.

There's been a couple of moments where I thought, well, that was close, but we were in the middle of It's usually when I was driving.

There's a reason she's a much better.

Driver, and I got overwhelmed by talking and steering.

At the Yeah, multitasking, it was tough. Boy. Boys aren't as good as it.

Yeah, girl.

But also one time by a guy to bike We've talked about this a million times threatened us with his bike lock because Chris jokingly was like and pretended he was yelling at this guy. Guy immediately was like like he was going to attack the.

Car with his bike.

Wa. Yeah.

And also in that episode we saw a fight at a bus stop and a guy got knocked out.

It must have been pumped Sunday.

Sunday Sunday a crucifix on their forehand or whatever it is.

We're passing the Magic Castle.

Did you guys know that there's a I think there's a pilot that is actually going to series this year about a woman getting into the Magic Castle.

Oh really yeah, Oh I think that's the premise of the pilot. Someone just told me about it yesterday.

You know what, forget e r A or any kind of thing like that passing because that's enough for me, A little magician in the Magic.

Five, I'm good.

Well, I've been to the Magic Castle a couple of times and I have noticed that they were like, there's one woman on the picture wall, like of all of the magicians, you know, they all have their headshots up that are magician headshots are you know, yeah, a beast of their own Yeah, and uh hers, there's like one old lady that's like weirdly like holding a candle or something.

And I was like, why are there not more female magicians?

Like ladies are tricky? And I wondered that I forgot about me and not drunk.

And forgot about it, and uh, now someone's making that show.

Yeah you weren't the only one. Go through your mind.

Have you, guys ever been to the Magic Castle?

I have not. I've been. I've been three times and I've lived here for three years. Oh wow, I love it so much. Are you the magician that's getting a show?

Yeah?

Wait a minute about that, baby, Yeah, you're right three ay to.

I really need you guys to kickstart my baby. Could head to my website.

Oh I have a friend in New York who is a magician slash comedian, So when he is there, I can get in with him and I don't have to pay for the dinner and.

All that right is the dinner?

Well I did that the first time I ever went, and was like, it's fine, Yeah, it's not really worth the money. And if you don't have yeah, it's expensive, and it's like steak and potatoes. You know, It's like not really, you know, you can get better food in La. So the second and third times I went, I tried to go where they just got me in to watch the magic and not eat the dinner, which is great, right, but I would say go once and do the dinner and the whole experience.

It's fun, but I just like love the magic guestling.

And the last time I went, I was a little too high, Like at one point I was like, I have to sit down forriziic and I think I got too high. And then I'm always a person that when they go, does anyone want to help with the trick?

I'm always like hell yeah.

But I literally averted my eyes, kept my hands down. I was like, I'm too high for this. And the guy picked me anyway. He saw that I didn't want it. You have the energy so that I didn't want it.

And it's like get up here, oh wow.

And so then I'm on stage, I'm I'm very high, and I'm revealing this car trick and I'm just looking at my two friends in the audience and they and when I reveal the cartrick, They're like oh my god.

And I was just I thought I was going to die. I was like, I don't know, I'm not.

Cut out to be.

No, it's I can't imagine that kind of paranoiac because I get magic puts me on edge.

I don't.

I think I'm not into it, and then when I'm watching it, I'm losing my mind.

Well, because you can't. I feel like it's comics.

When we watch other comics, you sit there anticipating what the joke's going to be, and you get a lot of pride out of being able to know what someone's going to say. Yeah, and that's kind of what how comics do it. But you can't do that with magicians because the whole idea is you're not going to know what I'm about to do, right, Like, that's if you do know what a magician is about to do.

They suck at magic.

Well, it's weird.

There's even professionals that that are well known and they do buy trick. They are purchased only so and so and so and so has this trick, so I'll sell it to you for four hundred dollars. It's like a hovering table or something. You know what I'm saying sir, like, some of them are just objects you buy, okay, which takes a lot of the mystery out of it. I hear about one trick being a purchasable hover table.

I kind of takes me out of it.

Yeah, disappointing. One time, you know what I just remembered is one time I went.

To the Haunted corn Maize super High and there was a magician entertaining people in the line. And he not just a magician, a sword swallower. Oh.

He picked me to pull the sword out of his throat. Oh god, and I was out of I was like, I'm going to do this wrong.

And I said to the guy, please don't make me do this, and he was like, you're fine, just pull it up when I like look at you or whatever.

And so of course he's like, just don't hesitate, pull it out of my throat.

So completely baked out of my head, I had to remove the sword from this.

That's like Sorcerer's Stone, fully horrifying. Oh my god, that is traumatic.

It's really making me scared because I just saw swordswallower in Vegas and I was really close up to the front and it was.

Like too much.

But I worked on the show Magic for Humans, So I worked in a room with a bunch of magicians and they told me a lot of how a bunch of the tricks were, and I was like, I kind of forgot. So I'm like, still magic is still fine with me.

But they like, oh, some of it is, you know, even if I if it is a purchased trick that someone buys, yeah, from a fancy high end magic store or whatever.

There are just slight of hand card tricks that I'm like, I still you're a witch. I don't understand the world works.

I love up close magic.

Yes, it is the best. At the Magic Castle too.

It seems yeah, it seems like you're watching and especially given where you're at, it's such a classic form of entertainment. And but I've I've been turned away twice because of not having the right pants.

Oh oh.

I went in there in like a leather jacket that is truly the nicest thing that I own, and they made me take it off. They were like, no modo jackets. I was like, I'm there's no grease.

Once, just come from fixing my bike.

I went with beautiful pants once, beautiful pants, extravagant cashmere sweat pant and this kid had pleaded front darkers with a powdery stain up front, and he was saying, yeah, gotta have pants like mine.

And I'm like, you mean nineties.

Pants, you mean nerd pants.

And they gave me a jacket and a tie. They had, like they have jackets and ties. Yeah, mess up there, but they do have pants.

I think I think all that because I've heard years and years, I've heard all about the dress code, and I just think it's power moves by dorky magicians. I think it's just power moves. It's like you don't qualify, you hold it in. For years they have been these pained nerds that have you know, warn cakes to school.

Yeah, on the ship beaten out of them. So they're finally they're like, no you don't.

Oh look whiskey, you guys, whiskey cavaliers will haunt you now until the day gets canceled, which is probably in two weeks.

Like it is, so it's everywhere, It's everywhere now I have to watch it.

What does it mean? It's just like when you're drawing.

No. I think it might be like their code name for their missions and literally guessing you know what I mean, like Whiskey Tango fox try.

Like it's alpha Alpha, bravovo Charlie, Charlie, right, so it's not cavalier, come on.

What the hell?

So maybe they were just like, what's the what's the name that sounds most like an axe body spriefel, Like I don't understand the.

Name of.

Hate flavor, Like he's braising around and then it is minutes away from making a breath rhyme.

It's Someone was just talking about bannocka breast rate on Twitter and it was making me laugh really hard.

And then someone was like is it time to bring it back? That was such a sitcom trope was like do you have any banokae? They were like, hold on a little bit of banoka before the big kiss.

Yeah, the old guy from my favorite from TUTSI like getting ready to kiss Dustin Hoffmann.

Yes, the old doctor that scared me as a kid. He is a guy like that doesn't try and kiss me one day.

The creepiest, like the best example of sexual harassment is that guy.

Yeah, Like it's not it's not cute like nine to five.

It's really very upset.

I thought, because I watched you recently and I thought there would be that seems like a movie that you can't revisit.

It would be.

It's just there's so much problem, so many problems.

Yeah, but it's but it's good good.

It's just good because he isn't doing it exploitively. He's like really as an actor into the character and into the person.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's playing so he's playing her like truly like Jack and he did he really did. Did you see Jumanji? I didn't. I swear to god, if you have like free time watch I probably couldn't. I've cut way back on my all the way out.

It's so good. We'll talk about it two episodes in a row.

The second I give Birth, I'm like, give me, give me my pen, give me a copy of the because you know what it is. They don't approach it the way you think.

It's not a remake, and it's this really interesting like modern day.

I heard things about it. It's really good.

Also, Paddington Too, Paddington boas Paddington both Paddington's, but Paddington Too is Paddington was a marvel change.

I loved it. Watch it.

Plane was absolutely delighted. Did you cry? Oh yeah, I cry on planes. I cry at anything. I cry when the plane is taking off. I'm not kidding. It is the weirdest fucking thing, like this is a marvel.

It's that's why I usually ask to get a window seat so I can turn away private.

Private.

Yes, because there's something I always get very like. I think, deep down, I'm going make make right with God in case this is the last plane.

Ride you ever. You're accepting all your dad's prayers exactly like every.

Time before a flight.

Don't you usually do if this plane goes down't do?

Do your tweets?

Well? Well, I started doing it and then I realized it's it's very dark, but I would just tweet as I sat in my seat waiting to take off.

If this plane goes down, please remember me as one who above all else. And I just say, random ship that I fared many of your plane down there?

You love them?

Well, Chris made me say it. I didn't want to tell me a joke. There's the show called whis that's the joke.

I will. Yes, I cried on the plane of Paddington. I recently cried on the plane to RBG and Whitney. Oh yes, And one time I cried at a still photo of a Make a Wish child.

In the magazine.

I just looks so sad and like, I, yeah, the plane is for some reason, It's like all that's are off.

I just am completely cried basket.

Now, would it make you feel better to know that that Make a Wish child was goth and that their wish was to be sad and so actually it was getting exactly what it wanted.

Yes.

I The last time I was on a plane and cried really hard was watching the Mister Rogers documentary.

On my DVR, and I'm honestly, I need to emotionally prepare myself because I know I'm going to cry through the whole name.

I was crying so hard I had to turn it off because I was embarrassed because the man next to me was becoming.

Concerned because I was doing that kind of like pretending. I just kept watching my cheeks, like, oh, what's this.

Brushing against my cheek and then after a while using up all my cocktail napkins and then trying to hold back noises, and then I'm like, what am I doing? Like you can't just sit here and saw next to a person that was me at the movie eighth grade.

Oh yeah, I in the theater. I used a whole back of tshoes. My husband was like, do we need to go? Like I was from front to from start to finish, crying the whole time.

You guys are just listen.

I don't know if it's a girl or something.

Because Jared was like he loved it, and he cried a little bit, but he did. I was just like, this is my experience in seventh grade, even for me seventh grade. But around the same time.

I was like, was the worst time of night?

Was it?

You know?

And I was just like so emotional during that.

Yeah, write and directed who got really snubbed? I thought, I think the Oscars are bullshit, But he really did get snubbed.

This year was There was a couple exceptions, but for the most part, and I didn't watch, so please take a grain of salt with what I'm about to say. But it just seemed like most of the stuff that won was not what anybody liked or was excited.

About at all.

And honestly, a lot of stuff that was nominated was like stuff that I could have seen nominated in ninety six, Like that's where Green Book and Bohemian Raapstadir.

I was like, yeah, I could have seen.

A long time ago the Oscars being super into this, and I can't believe we're back at it.

Bohemian Rhapsy is the biggest surprise to me because I watched it early it got the screener and was excited to have like that movie in hand, and then watching it at home, I was like, maybe I should have watched it in a theater because something isn't translating.

Yeah, the concert, because there's a lot a lot I haven't watched it, but there's a lot of live queen performance, Like they just show entire performances, right, yes, they.

Yeah, those parts I like.

But then there's conversations where and there's this this clip keeps getting sent around on social media that they won for best Editing, and they show the scene where they literally are editing, like like literally every two seconds, it's a cut.

It's a cut, it's a cut, and it is the weirdest thing. Once you pointed out that you've ever seen that they won for editor Yeah, it's wild because.

The editing is like nauseatingly let you get seen, and that's not a thing people notice that much, but then you point it out and you're like, yeah.

That is bad at it? Yeah. I also thought the teeth were a lot. Yes, I don't. I remember, like when I think of the Mercury, I'm like, his teeth.

Like, yeah, okay, maybe on visil line could have been a thing for sure, but he was worried change his voice.

It literruly would have. Oh they thought that is that?

Why?

Yeah, yeah, it would have. He that's how he got He had so much room. It was like, uh oh yeah. He says it in the movie.

He's like, because my teeth are big, I have extra space from Yes, his.

Teeth were acting like an extra diaphragm.

Yeah, I don't understand the physics of that, but agree with you. I disagree.

But I just thought that they could have made Rommy Mallicks a little bit less.

They were like chick lits, like they were so crazy.

Jerry Lewis rais, Yeah it was.

But also he always has that weird glimmer in his eye, so it looked like he thought his teeth were funny, like where Freddie Mercury just had teeth and he kept his mouth in a way that like, yeah, this is just kind of what I was dealt in life.

And he looked normal, but like Remy Melick was like to say something, I'm getting ready for these teeth I got always looks like really, So congratulations to all the winners.

Yes, yes, yeah, I did you go to an Oscar party.

No, I watched it on my couch with my husband and one other couple.

Yeah, they printed out ballots.

I won.

No, I want to brag, but I got because I never vote with my heart. I vote with my head. I'm like this, I know this is the best thing, the garbage thing they're gonna write, right, yes, that's why. And then for the half the categories that you don't know, I vote on the thing I heard about on NPR for two seconds and then I'm usually write I'm like.

I think I've heard about free Solo. That's gonna win, and then it does. Did you watch it?

I didn't watch that movie, but I have seen I was gonna say Remy Malick again, Alex Hanald, who is that climber? I saw him on PBS like with my dad and sister holy ship.

Yeah, these potholes, I'm telling you that thing was humongous. It's the heat and the collapsing and drink.

Anyway I saw him.

They did a special on him climbing half dome with his fucking fingertips.

Oh my god.

So when that movie came out, I was like, I have to go see it, but I kept putting it off because I knew I would cry like mister Rogers style.

He knew I would lose my mind.

Well, honestly, that just the clip they showed when they announced it at the Oscars.

I gasped out loud. I was like, just showing him doing it, I was like, and I'm not even like.

Afraid of heights, but it's terrifying what he does, like crazy. And I was thinking that because it won, it'll probably be out in the theaters a little longer, because that is one I think that would be a great you got to see it in the theaters.

Type of yes, wait, so you haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. Well, if you don't have that, baby, let's go see it. I'm serious, let's go. Okay, cool, because I have a lot of free time, and.

I'm really excited if you decided that.

Out And.

What's crazy, I am very, very like sort of passionate about this whole late term abortion thing, and I keep retweeting.

Stuff about it, and I'm like, I don't want anyone to.

Think that I'm doing it, but I think that this is a right that women should have. Yes, Sometimes it's like if I present it without comment on like Facebook, Twitter, like yikes, Sara, too dark.

You can't keep me, and I'm gonna announce it on Facebook.

My mom was a nurse and when she was nine months pregnant, and I can't remember if she told me the story, if it was with my sister or with me, she brought a friend to an abortion doctor, like went so that she wouldn't have to go alone.

And when they opened the.

Front door, my mom was walking in first, but she had a full and the nurse at the top of the stairs was like, do not even come up here.

No, we are not doing that or whatever. Your mom's like, you relaxed, it's not me. Oh wow, I'm meant to follow through.

My friend is not where it's like, yike, we're on different paths.

Yeah, and she's in no way this pregnant. It's I really like to play with how uncomfortable people are with it. Like I was at a party lessoning and I kept going out onto the balcony because I was overheating, and I was like, I'm just having a cigarette.

Everybody calmed down. Everybody's so like.

I had a baby shower and I had a glass of wine and I just was like, I'm.

Just having this to see who's going to give me dirty loves?

Yes, I just want to see who my friends are that I don't want to be friends with.

I'm just trying to lower that birth weight.

Yes, I have to go out of.

You control how painful it's going to be.

I was once I did a show somewhere in Minneapolis and there's this the woman that owns the bar. It was not at all happy with what I said on stage. She said I was disrespectful. I don't know where it was coming from. The audience was not listening, and I talked about it or got reprimanded a heckler, but she was are you the the woman that was drinking the beers? And then she didn't respond because I because she's like that.

Bars they're not allowed to turn down pregnant women for alcohol because it's discrimination, especially.

If you own the bar.

But that's why you'd buy it. Wow, I thought a bar.

So so no one would give me it's it's probably one of those old rules, like you're also supposed to pull out your.

Guns so they can put it in a safe.

Yeah, that's right. There's still an old blue law. Yeah, oh yeah, Connecticut.

Has blue laws no alcohol on Sundays and no alcohol after eight.

Man, if you go to Dale for a certain amount of time, you can request a horse.

Can marry that horse.

There's all there's all these Montana laws and a lot of horse marriages.

Oh my god. There's a guy I just saw this morning on social media.

A guy got arrested outside of Portland, I believe, for having sex with a horse and his You have to look up the picture.

Oh I don't want to see the picture.

It is so crazy what this guy looks like. His neck is so long it looks like a card.

Because the horse stretched him moon.

Was it already long? It's hard to say.

When was the picture of.

Him, like getting taken off in handcuffs. The picture is his mugshot.

Okay, I thought it was the act.

Oh no, they didn't catch him in the act. Thank god. This is the scariest freeway I knows.

Nineteen.

Thank you guys.

For six ship. It's so scary.

Well, the crazy thing about the one ten, Yeah, everyone goes fast. It's in now a three lane highway.

But to merge onto it, you you merged from a stop sne which is in sanity.

It's crazy to move from zero to like sixty or someone will kill you.

Yeah, it's crazy.

It's normal in Texas. But if you're not used to.

It here in La no, not at all.

You said this was next one, okay, yeah, right, and I'm right off of it.

Okay, cool, but yeah, we just moved here.

So I'm just getting used to all this highway driving because I was living in West Hollywood, where I was never on the highway, right.

Yeah, and now here I am, and this is quite the training. Yes, so we'll get off now, will be okay, But look you out the best ravine, oh really, the ravines around here. The standing water that we have, you.

Can it's not even stagnant, fresh standing water, even the puddles. You could swim the puddles. I like this air.

Park.

We moved here because we are having this little new roommate. Is needed more space. And we lived on like a really we lived on Crest and Heights and West Hollywood, which is like a thoroughfare down from the world, like a baby corner doing doughnuts at three am and drunk people, and we just needed.

To It's such a nice part. I I love that apartment that's very mid century. Yeah, well, our new place is cute. It's just, uh, do you guys ever move.

Into a place that like has no storage space, Like there's no closet. There's like a closet in the whole blaze. Oh, we have nowhere to put anything. I've been doing a lot of Craigslist selling.

I'm I'm last minute space here on the corner.

I was going to move somewhere and it fell through, and so suddenly I need to find a place. And I had no idea that I was so concerned about storage or excited about it. When I see it, three closets become it's shaved.

Interestingly, guys, I needed a ride and you gave me one. Yeah, thank you so much. I promise to.

You, and I promised that Karen was how great you were going to be and you you pulled through.

Guys, Thank you so much.

Yours.

When's your album?

Drop by No My album's out Friday on March eighth and it's called Undefeated. You can pre order it now on iTunes. Help me get onto those iTunes charts for four days until Jim Gaffigan's album retakes that.

You guys, come.

On, it's one of the best stand up comics around.

Please get her album. You will love it. Yank you for sure. Also, you guys are great. Say hi to Jared for us. I will Karen. Let's go see Free Solo. We gotta do it.

I have a lot of movies.

I need to thank you so much. All right, my friend, good to see you too.

Do you have anything coming up?

By bye?

I don't really, I don't. I shouldn't ask when I don't.

I'm doing Brian Cook's show Guilty Treasure, where.

You have to learn a song.

Ye.

When's your rehearsal tonight?

Oh boy, that's when I learned Red red Wine.

I'm doing a hit by Ryl Gurrow, but I highly look forward.

So that's Saturday night, something like.

That Black Cat on Saturday night.

I don't know.

That's when you can go mosdays eat candy on the weekend.

We'll be that's this week.

I can't remember what it is though it's not Monday. I think it's Wednesday night at the Virgil basically.

And yeah, Boulder on Sunday, Boulder, Colorado.

Chrisus going to the Rockies. Bring comedy to the cold people of the Rockies.

It's the most deserving of mountain ranges.

They deserve your comedy and course light.

And I think that'll wrap it up right, Yeah, like wrapping back in it all.

Sooft you've been listening to Do you need a riot?

N A A R.

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim.

And give us time and a terminal.

And gay we want to send you off instil.

You want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about every scared he was it fine? Melcorn. Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Chriss

M h.