S2 - Ep. 66 - Vince Averill

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send you off in style.

We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Ride with Karen and Chris.

Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks, my guest and co host. He's pulling double duty. You know him from the We Watch Wrestling podcast. You know him from Monday Night Beers. I know him from the Monday Monday Night Beer is golf balls He's given me. He's the He's very knowledgeable about merch. We know that going in. He also is the husband of Georgia Hartstark from My Favorite Murder. Karen's other podcast, Everyone put your hands together for Vince Abril.

Oh my god, man, wait to put me over? Thank you?

Oh of course, yeah, I mean that was all off. That's just knowledge I have off the top of my head.

Oh I'm glad you have to read it, you know, no.

No, God forbid, you can always tell when someone's reading.

My reading comprehension is not I never I was watching a movie the other day and I know they still do this, and it blows me away when they still think we weren't thrown off by a five to five to five number in a movie, but they if someone is reading something, they read it out loud and it's always so very awkward.

Yeah, I was just done drama.

I was just watching something the other day where I was like, this seems like it's too like high of a budget for them to not have paid for a real phone number, or like, you know, because it just does it cheapens it immediately you're like, wait a minute, what am I watching a Rockford Files.

Yeah, lately they have been.

They take the time someone in production goes and I don't know, purchase is a phone number, so we aren't taken out of the story because I hear that five five five and I'm like, what is it nineteen eighty.

But I will say in the same way that my cursive writing has suffered over the years when I do need to read out loud, which is very sparingly. Maybe there's a child around, or it's a funeral or something. I do find that my ability to read out loud has diminished a little bit. It's a little harder than just reading in my head.

Yeah.

For one, I've gone blind in the past year. It's a serious it continues to decline. I should probably see an eye doctor. But yeah, I get I get really nervous, even just now just announcing something something other than comedy or off the top of my head, or being in front of people like it. At the beginning of a comedy show. There's times where the club has been like, oh, our regular guy isn't here. Can you introduce yourself? And I get so nervous for that, not the show, but

Yeah, put your hands.

Like I I I absolutely lose it.

I have no It's second only to when you like you're you are in charge of hosting and someone gives you a joke to bring them up on, like this guy works as a state trooper during the day, but don't worry you don't got to put your weet away, and it's just like, I don't want to. People are gonna think I'm making that joke. I don't want to do your shitty joke to bring you up. Can I just say clubs and colleges or something.

It's funny.

When I first started in Austin, I was nervous to go to the open mic my my very first couple of times, I went up, and for some reason, I guess because I had grown a mustache.

I went up as an off duty police officer.

I thought that would be and all my all my jokes were cop puns about Miranda Rights. I went and met a woman named Miranda. Everyone though thought I was an actual cop. I had everyone convince that I as a police officer, and then I started showing up in my plane clothes and They're like, are you still an officer?

And I'm like, that was a joke. Please.

I think there would be some value to a thesis being done where there's exit interviews at comedy clubs, because I feel like you'd find that people were like, no, I thought that was all from the top of his head, or I thought he really does shake babies, or like just I just think that a lot of times people believe shit you're saying and you don't even realize it.

Yeah, especially now, every comic is supposed to be open about themselves and telling the truth and telling stories about their actual life. But when I started, I just wanted it to be bizarre, non sequitor. I wanted to be like Mitch Hedberg, even though I didn't know who he was in the beginning. But as the more, I'm like, I don't want anyone to know anything about my real life. This is at an escape, right, But yeah, I don't. You don't see that as much anymore.

Yeah, No, there does seem to be that school of thought where if you're not like pulling open a wound, you're not really you know, giving it your all or something.

Yeah, it's it's a new thing to the point where I when I do stand up, I do my old style where I tell ridiculous non secuitor, you know, unrelated jokes, and then at halfway through my set, I'm like, Okay, these are actually stories.

About my life, so I'm done lying.

Now here's the truth segment, which is I've gotten away with it, but I gotta I don't know if I need to make a decision to stop lying, or if I can just keep doing that, divide it right down the middle. Well that's what I've Maybe you don't have to choose, you know, maybe not. Maybe I just leave them confused about who I really am. I think that's okay.

I am. I'm very pleased to see that, even off duty, off the golf course, you still rock the headband, which deserves to be rocked at all times. So there's nothing you know, I'm not saying.

There and I have gotten to know each other through golf, something that yes, and I wear. My goal has been and I think I've told you this. I'm not going to dress like a golfer. For some reason, I'm embarrassed to tell people I've been golfing so much. Like I think it's because my mom always saw it as a waste of water and everything. The way I was raised like, it wasn't a pro golf household, even though my dad

But now it's cool. Now that I'm in my forties, skateboarding is cool.

You're no longer being beat up for it outside of the shop and stop or whatever.

Yeah, it used to be you go to the shop and stop with your crew, mine what's the front street and you just wait for for trucks filled with angry cowboys to do.

Even in suburban Detroit, I remember, uh, you know, skating in the Kroger parking lot, and more than once a dude in a pickup truck literally like coming through the lot trying to run somebody over at least make you think he was gonna.

Yeah if I knew, and they would say terrible things to us. And now it's been replaced by a pickup truck. Even the last time I was in Montana, things have changed so much that the new heckle from a from a cowboy in a truck is do a kickflip. That's what they yell now, the most encouraging, like oh, I'll try, thank you.

I do also have a little I mean, I guess I stop short of calling it shamee, but there does seem to be a stigma in my mind around golf too. I don't. I've just started in the last whatever six or eight months, and I, yeah, it's not something I go around and being like, yeah, so I'm golfing now, I got my own bag, and like there's just something about it that feels like it's not everyone is going to be on, not to the level of like pro wrestling, where I had to keep that in the shadows for

And the problem is I'm thinking about it so much now that I want to talk about it, and I have to make myself not talk about it. The saving grace there has been I'm rarely around anyone. I have not adjusted to America thriving again, other than going to skate parks and golfing, to.

The point where I think the first time I showed up in like a polo shirt, just sort of by chance, and I think like right away CJ was like, Oh, this guy's got the full golf kid on now, and I was like, fuck, I don't want like, that's not what I'm trying to do.

I don't want to look like a golfer man. I just want to hit the ball a little bit.

I'm I am going eighties tennis with it. I just that's a look that I'm nostalgic for. I literally googled Andre Agassi headband and then I just shorts and everything.

I mean, I have a lot of it in my queue here. I'm just waiting to some.

Of that light lycra some some neon colors.

Yeah, a lot of it used.

So when I wear it, I'm activating some dead tennis players body odor.

But uh, you know that's all part of the experience. Uh.

This headband belonged to my friend's mother. I believe it was meant for skiing in the eighties.

But oh, you actually procured that from a friend.

Oh yeah, yeah, and then modeled my look after this headband.

So I have a Justin Kroft's mother to thank for that.

You were just bumping around the crib and said, hey, is anybody still using this or how do you find your mother's his money.

I've met my buddy.

He's from Montana and I've been going He lives in Santa Barbara now in the mountains. When anyone is frustrated that they can't get hold of me, it's because I'm at Justin's cabin that does not have I mean, it's a nice house, but it doesn't have Wi Fi or a phone service, so I call it a cabin okay because of that. But yeah, sometimes I get nervous when friends my age are willing to suddenly give things away. Every time I go there, he's like, do you want this hat? Do you want this bike? It makes me

Are you happy?

Yeah?

But yeah, we've just been giving each other things. I gave him a painting. He's like, my mom used to wear this headmand here you go. And it did mean a lot because it was his mom's. But yeah, little did he know.

Up at the cabin, I'm holding I picture the you know, the chest like when Chevy Chase gets stuck in the attic in Christmosification and there's just this mom's little clothes, some old movies headband is procured.

Yeah, yeah, looking through a photo. I have a chest here that I am scared to open. I don't know why I brought it up from the garage. It's inconveniently in my kitchen, and I have yet to open it because sometimes I don't want to be confronted by memories.

But you know, some of your some personal belongings or otherwise artifacts from your life are in there.

Yes, photos, man. I brought it up for the photos and the old artwork.

When I.

Used to do illustrations for this aptitude test in Texas, the Toss test, very strange specific drawings where they wouldn't tell me what the question was.

It would just be like, we need a fifth.

Grade Asian boy checking a water meter on a fence and with a bird next to them. And I'm like, okay, So I would draw these really specific drawings, never knowing what the word.

Question was about. So and I look at.

These drawings now and they are hilarious and I want to compile them in some way or add add speech balloons or something.

Wait, so there's so d So would you have like a week to complete that or would it be like, here's ten of them?

Okay, yeah, yeah, totally.

They'd give me like ten, and I'd be on the road and I'd bring these drawings with me and do them, or I'd bring the UH instructions with me and do the drawings on the road.

But guy, I used to be such a hard worker.

Okay, So this is just a teaser of what may be in there. If people want to join Chris's Patreon, he's going to open it up. That'll be the first bonus for.

The unboxing of my memory chest.

Some people to get in the mail. You're just actually going to open old shit of your own that you forgot what's in.

I had no idea how many cordless adult pleasure toys I had, no, no, no.

Some of these were for my back. Some of these were definitely just for my back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You never know scoliosis, you never know when it'll hit.

That's why I have old purple here.

The treatment has changed over the years, so there's no real way of knowing.

I did a little research of Megan Gaily, who I thought was maybe going to be the guest today, but she will be a guest, I think right after this. But in researching her, I researched you, and there's some things I didn't know about you, Like you had a hardcore label out of high school.

Yeah, I started a label with the money for my graduation party and then so it was me and a buddy who were doing that one specifically, and after like our first release, we immediately disagreed on what to do next. So then I started my own, which I sort of still have. There's been years of dormancy, but then more recently I've I've done hardcore records still, but I occasionally will do like I did at Matt McCarthy seven inch.

But yeah, if I wasn't held under the same name.

Yep, Capsule Records has been the same name since nineteen ninety five or something like that.

That's so crazy.

See, I've I'm only learning about your your you know, touring, managed, tour managing in the music business and everything, but I didn't know it.

Yeah you were.

I had a hardcore l.

And then I'm saying in a hardcore band right now, curact as I sit here. Yeah, that we have a record, a seven inch that came out on New Age Records, which is a hardcore label out of Hunting and Beach and then we're starting to work on our album.

Now the thing, why do I not know these things? Do I just not listen? Do I not pay attention?

No? I mean, on the.

Course, you know we're cracking wise about a squirrel. We're talking about who's shot was terrible or more terrible, and.

You've gotten it.

I mean, I don't usually angrily thrash around swearing from the bushes. I hope you know that I'm generally a happy person. I feel bad for the the like CJ and Mike that have gotten to know me through golf and have seen how there's always anger under the surface with me. And I've learned to curb it once it or I try to curb it once I see it surfacing.

I don't like throw clubs, but.

I when I was younger, I did, and that's kind of what kept me away from golf. I'm like, well, I clearly shouldn't do this if it makes me this angry. Well, and then I realized, well, I throw my skateboard and say terrible things.

I during that too, but I yeah, skateboarding.

What has curb to me on the course is that there's another person who will occasionally play with us, who shall remain nameless. And there was a time that he

Right, you saw that happen.

Yeah.

I haven't seen you lose it at all. You stay cool as a cucumber cat.

Just bottle it up and then go home and drink it away.

Yeah yeah, let it.

Let it surface with something trivial at home with your loved one.

Yeah.

I've been trying hard, especially when you're golfing with strangers. I'm like, do not do this, do not do not say those words, do not scream them. You just met this guy, right, But as.

Things begin to fall apart, and then I've also seen you suffer from your bag actually falling over, sometimes more than once. And it's like, at that point, it's it's a fucking we got a four alarm fire going here, you know, like, how can you not be upset?

I already yeah, specifically I was cursing myself out and then right then my bag fell over and all the balls rolled out, and all my tea's and my my seltzer spilled everywhere. I'm like, okay, yeah, now it's hilarious. When things get that bad, you have to.

Actually you pull back a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah.

When I think hardcore music, though I don't, I think I think of straight.

Edge, yeah, which I was okay for a long time. Is that pretty common with hardcore music?

I mean it's it's definitely, uh, a sect or a portion of it is straight edge, and then there's and I think there's a lot of styles of hardcore that kind of overlap. So yeah, but but straight edge is certainly a population of it, you know.

Yeah, but then there was also hardcore to me, and I think I might be wrong, but it is a specific part is a band from DC and those bands are bad brands, Fugazi, and there's another one that Teqi minor Threat yeah is of course.

Yeah, so those are all hardcore bands. I mean, I would think when when you skated, you probably sort of at least passed by some hardcore.

Oh, of course.

I'm a big fan of Fugazi and very a very big fan of Bad Brains, which led into me, you know, I was into other like Fishbone and this ban twenty four to seven Spies that was kind of like a light version of Bad Brains.

Yeah, but yeah, I didn't.

There wasn't like a scene that wasn't just generally punk rock where I knew straight educate everyone in Missoula, Montana drank at shows. Yeah, drinking was a big part, and I think there was always older guys that were sober sitting in the back somewhere. But I didn't. Yeah, I didn't know much about hardcore as a separate.

Because it's also like, to me, like punk and hardcore they do sort of, you know, intertwine because like like some of the bands that are considered like skate rock, like Agent Orange or the Faction, Like, yeah, to me, it's like that that's still hardcore, even though it's it's like a little more melodic and it and it like the style is is different in some ways. But but that's the thing. It's like when you start to try

And the only way I ever learned about I mean, you don't see this kind of music when you're a kid on MTV. I'd learned about these bands from skate videos that I would acquire order on vhs. And that's how I faction is the one with skape cabellerro right, Steve Caballero was.

In the film.

Yeah, yeah, all that I didn't. I would just record from the TV. I would play these tapes on a VCR, hold up a tape player and record it. And then I'd play that recording with the sounds of skateboarding along with it from a from a boom box in front of my house. And that was that was it. Yeah, so ridiculous that that's how I.

Mean, you had to You had to do what you had to do because you either had like an older brother or someone else's brother or friend who had a tape of stuff that they were dubbing out, or you held it up to the VCR or on the rare occasion that you had like a weirdo radio station, you could then do the old you know, put the tape in and try to hit the song when it's on kind of thing.

Yeah, I didn't.

I'm so lucky that I had an older sister that sow a lot of what she was turning me onto, which is what.

I truly liked, and much like golf.

I didn't talk to my friends about it because they were listening to Poison and stuff like that, but I was listening to the Cure Depeche Mode, all that stuff an older sister would hand down you. But also she did what she thought she needed to do, which is, hey, here's a band that I like. Uh, you know, Big Audio Dynamite or Public Image Limited. They have these harder bands that I'm not as into, but I think you'll like,

Yeah, you have to have an older sibling or access.

One of the I mean this is a generalized statement, but one of the negatives kind of around hardcore, at least in my experience, and I don't think i'm alone, is that it would become very narrow in like what was accepted, you know what you wore, what you listened to, what you did this and that, and so like led Zeppelin's my favorite band of all time, and I was

It's insane.

Oh yeah, all my buddy is in college. That turned me onto things like Pavement and Built to Spill and all that stuff that at the time we called emo music, but that turned into something completely different. I don't mean like AFI and the scream right right right melodic scream rock, but whatever you call that indye, I guess just India the rock.

Yeah.

I privately was listening yes to Faith No More and Mister Bunkle and all this and all my you know, Cocteau Twins and stuff like that, which I still you know what, that's probably my go to now ye melodic like shoegazy shoegaze music or whatever it's called that the Sundays and stuff like that, and I'm I'm just open about it now. I let people now I like melodic lady music.

I just love that.

It's so funny. I don't know if you remember, there was like this DJ from the UK in the mid to late nineties, Roney Size, and he was like big for a hot minute, I don't even know what if you'd call it drummond bass or whatever. And so you know, I'm starting to like just get into other stuff. And I was at this Roney Size show in Detroit and all of a sudden, I like run into this you know, big hardcore dude and he's like, oh my buddy, uh he my buddy, like got me in here whatever? And

Like what.

You didn't see me walk in? You're fucking in and I'm in. It's fine, Like who cares?

Yeah, He's like, oh well, it's normal that you're here, but you probably look up to me, so I should explain why I'm here because I should be above this, right, I'm three years older than you, totally.

Yeah, yeah, certain, Yeah, you just got to fucking you know. It was all the people who were who were willing to do whatever the fuck they wanted at any stage of life, were always the coolest, no matter what ridicule they would take, you know. Yeah.

Even my buddy James that I worked with in Austin. He was a screen printer at a shop where I.

Did the art.

He he we became friends really quickly, and he was in a lot of eighties Vegas punk bands. Okay, like one of his drummers in this band, drop Kick, was the drummer in Dri. It was it was like this crossover, which is the name of a Dri album. But there was that time where it was like he was in he had long hair and he looked like a metal head, but he was in all these punk bands, and he talks.

About how he had to hide his.

Love of of you know, rock things like Zeppelin, which to this day he is into, so he would seem punk rock because he's in all these punk rock bands. I think it's always been a thing where you have to hide what you really.

Like seven seconds, right, they were from Vegas. Remember seven seconds?

He has tons of He was also in a band called fifty one fifty and he had all these flyers and seven seconds was all over those Yeah, all over those flyers and dri But man, talk about a guy with stories.

Every story he would tell me.

Because of the era and because it's Vegas, it made me think of that. What's that movie with Matt Dillon, one of his early movies where everyone's riding on BMX BI.

Oh, yeah, only is.

Over the edge, over the edge? Yeah, that was his childhood. He's as a.

Teenager, He's like, yeah, and then my friend stabbed someone and he went to prison, and there's an HBO documentary about him. And I watched this documentary and the guy was a scary murderer.

But it was his punk rock friend when he was little.

He just said he changed a lot over your time, apparently, But.

Yeah, Vegas. I just hearing his stories.

It made me really glad I didn't grow up as a kid in Sin City.

Oh you know, I can't imagine what I mean. Even when you you know, go there now and you sort of travel out of the strip, like maybe even just going to the airport over. I'm alwaying, what is this like?

Yeah, I don't.

Yeah, are you a Vegas guy? Do you like gambling?

Yes?

I do, But but I'm like, I need about maybe forty eight hours maximum, Like I don't, Okay, I don't need to be very long.

Man.

I'll come in and do everything I need to do at its maximum, and then I need to get out. So it's like I like it every once in a while for a very short period.

Yeah, I think I should get into it on some healthy level, just so I have something to do when i'm there. Or I used to be there a lot. Yeah, for an old job, writing job I had. We'd go to events there, like and I'd interview people. But then at night I'm like, I don't know what to do here. I am so careful with money. Yeah I'm not cheap, but I really feel bad when I slide twenty bucks over to someone. A wheel turns and then they just take it away, and I'm confused.

I would say, And you know, I don't you know, necessarily want to get called from your sponsor when this all goes to shit for your gambling addiction. But as an introduction, I first of all, I never stay anywhere but downtown because it's everything is cheaper, the gambling is cheaper, everything's cheaper, and it's all right together. Like when you're on the Strip, it's like hard to even find your

Yeah, is that the old part of it? Like old downtown is old Vegas Flamingo and all that.

No Flamingo's on the strip, but it's like gold Nuggets, binions, soloor queens.

Yeah, okay, Circus circus, that's forr it.

No circus is at the end of the strip to.

Vegas. What if I keep trying it's a part of Vegas.

Then I got a holiday in down there. But it's Yeah, there's just like little lounges where there's just cover bands. It's just a it's just a much funner chiller uh old vibe. You know.

Yeah, yeah, because I am I am. I do like nostalgic vegas. I do in movies and stuff like, I do like to be reminded of that. But I don't need to see Blue Man Group again. Why do you keep throwing rolls of toilet paper? Stop with the drumming? And also they scare me, the Blue Man Group, I'm gonna be I'm just gonna admit they kind of give me nightmares, which is what.

You should have led with.

You should have just admitted straight up that you're scared of them, rather than try to take jabs like you did there.

You're You're right.

That was mean and it was just me trying to make up for the fact that I'm scared.

I'm scared of the Blue Bang Group. They give me nightmares. And you've got Carra Top up.

There on the strip, You've got you know, Thunder from down Under, whatever you're whatever you're looking.

For, Yeah, yeah, you could do.

You could keep listing them, and I'm afraid it's not what I'm looking for.

That's why you gotta stay downtown, man.

Listen.

The best time, maybe one of the best times we ever had downtown me Georgia Jesse Pop and Lizzie Cooperman. We drove because they said Gallagher is doing his final week of shows in Vegas.

I very much would go see that.

We go to the Gold Nugget to see what is about to unfold, and we show up. Every light in the room is on. At a certain point he just walks out. No, there's no announcement, no lights change.

Now he's on stage, trampoline couch there was like there.

Was no trampoline couch, but there was a few other items out.

There, and he starts going, watermelons.

He starts going and he's immediately saying crazy racist, homophobic stuff.

Oh yeah.

The room is like not even half full. This is Gallagher's big send off. And at a certain point we we go to leave. I think I think Jesse tried to stay a little longer to see what white possibly happened. We couldn't even make the sledge of matic. We're going out, and as the usher opens the door for us, George is like, this is terrible, and the usher goes, at least you can leave, and that was.

That's the best. It was Gallagher's big send off.

It was terrible. It was terrible, but but ultimately a great story and fun.

He yeah, he I had the pleasure working with him twice in my life.

Oh.

When was the seventies reality show on MTV where they had you know, JJ Dynamite, Jimmy Walker, Yeah, and people. And I was just like, I played a neighbor that drove a trans aam and played with nunchucks and then I'd give a pop quiz to these poor kids and get them kicked off the show.

It actually wasn't very fun, and I was sick the whole time.

But anyway, Gallagher was on an episode and the saddest part was he was totally bald, but he would put on this hat reminiscent of his eighties days, with hair stapled to the inside brim of it. So he just put on this hair wig, this hat, hair wig, and yeah, conversationally just went into hate speech.

I mean a lot of it would just right wing.

Stuff that I perceive as hate speech the way I was raised, But also, like you said, just straight up racist yeah stuff.

Is there a difference? I don't know.

Also, I mean if anyone still cares or even knows who Gallagher is, I don't think people realize that he sold At a certain point he sold his act to his brother, and so then Gallagher too would tour the country doing his act.

Gallagher, Yeah, he and I remember him coming to Austin. He had a Janet Jackson microphone set up, I give it, yes, and a power point laser pointer one night and then one night he just tried this this collapsing antenna pointer. Yeah, but it was a very clinical PowerPoint presentation on I believe wordplay, very boring. And then I thought that he got in trouble with Gallagher one Gallagher two. Maybe didn't

He just didn't have a lot of nice things.

To be a fly on the wall at the Gallagher family dinner, you know, the Christmas or whatever they're celebrating over the Oh.

God, I am just terrible, silent grumbling, no one looking at each other in the eye.

And then he was at Bridgetown one year. Oh yes, yes, he's like, oh all.

You young kids just have me here to make fun of me, and he's like, whoops, he's on to us.

He was not happy to be there.

He just seemed like a really grumpy man and yeah, if you don't know he I think he had seven HBO special.

Yeah. No, I mean in the early days of the video store in Milford, Michigan. One we'd have to rent the VCR as well, but we rented those Gallagher tapes, man, for sure, because I used to blow my mind when I was a little kid. I'd be like, yeah, why is there a lock on the door at seven eleven? It's never closed? You know, like that, I'm going like this.

A lot of his stuff was kind of thought provoking. You know, why is this? Why is this called this? And this is called this? I mean George.

Carlin went through a similar phase with his stand up.

That parked on the driveway and drive on the parkway.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

That's a Carlon bit, right, That's what I I couldn't remember if that was a Gallagher or.

I don't know either, but I just I just remember that one from what.

They couldn't have ended up being different, more different, but.

That could you know, the driveway parkway thing could be like a couple of guys that I encountered coming up in Michigan who were arguing over whose joke it was that they were calling their dick the truth, you know, you can't handle the truth. And there was a little bit of heat backstage. Well they tried to figure out whose joke it actually was. When I was thinking, this might be one hundred people's joke.

Guys, right, yea, and none of them are the winner.

Right on. No one's coming out ahead on this. But also I think you both needed to cut it out right now.

I want to do a joke where I'm like, what is a parkway? I've never heard that phrase before. Do you think that I don't know what that is? A British freeway?

Maybe?

Well I think you know, if you've got, you know, a nice bit of park land and the road that goes through, it might be a parkway.

Oh okay, like going to the Sun Road in Glacier Park, it.

Might be a parkway, although I mean you know it will actually sometimes it will have that whatever you call it, the pk wy on the end there instead of RD or st things of this nature.

Oh yeah. So it's just like saying boulevard, right.

It could be a terrace, it could be a road, it could be a Yeah, it's just a it's just another made up word for something you drive on.

I love when on my own podcast I learned things finally that's been bothering me.

I'm not trying to ruin your bit, dude, but I'm trying to help you because some people might, you know, find a little breakout.

I'm not bailing on it. That bit's got legs.

That.

Bits got Hello, Yellowstone.

You have a podcast with our buddy Matt McCarthy about wrestling. You probably talked about it a lot every time you're on a podcast, But I'm I when did you have you had a lifetime like childhood life.

We're into rests since probably nineteen eighty five.

Are you as freakishly knowledgeable as McCarthy is where he can take any conversation and somehow weave it into wrestling.

Well, so here's the thing. There's there there was a point in history. I don't know if that if that's changed, But Matt would say that I've forgotten more wrestling than he had watched.

Now.

I think he's definitely gained on me. And I do know more about wrestling than anything else that I that I know about. But I think he's a little you know, I touched on it before. I'm not I'm obviously openly a wrestling fan. I love wrestling, but I don't seek to try to jam it in. So I probably have the ability, but I I usually try to just you know, if someone asks me, I'm happy to do a filibuster, but I don't.

You're saying Matt kind of forces it, Well, I kind of shoves it.

I think he's a little more.

Willing to, yeah, to just put it in there, which is you know, I'm not saying it's a negative, but for me, I just like I have to be very safe and comfortable before I into.

And it's Tom Sibley. Is he a regular?

So he what was is when we started, it was the three of us and the dynamic thing. Yeah he's gone, but the dynamic was at that point that he never watched and didn't know anything, so he would be the guy who asked the questions and all that. But he left a couple of years ago.

He yeah, podcast changed.

He was the equivalent of actually driving to an airport, right, Yeah, things change and you find well, yeah, it's still work.

He was the vehicle.

But I think I think he finally realized that, you know, he had learned all he wanted to learn about wrestling.

So he was he didn't want to get too deep.

No, no, no, because you can't come back.

No, you can never return. You can never return. It's the Hotel California of sports.

And as much as I love wrestling, there is you know, plenty of times where I'm watching it going like man, I'm really glad no one else is here. I would hate to have to explain to anybody like why I think this is cool or you know, like there's plenty of times when it's bad.

You know, yeah, it's I just keep those things, golf and skateboarding, they're they're my private loves. I've stopped trying to turn people onto that. I will defend skateboarding in a way you've had to do with wrestling your whole life, where I'm like, it's not for kids.

Here, watch this like I'll pull out visual aids.

I'll really depending on my mood, I have shoved it down people's threats before, but I try not to.

But because they asked, like I said, now it's cool.

Yeah, So yeah, you're not walking up to a conversation that's about you know, house siding or something and going like, well, you know, as it relates to skateboarding. You're not jamming it, but if someone wants to talk shit, you're there to take up for the thing that you believe in.

Yeah, speaking of vinyl siding, you know, for a while skateboards made of plywood and they used a composite. Oh why is everyone leading know what a slick is?

I do? I just yeah, I might have access to a slick right now. Actually, my first.

Real skateboard, you know, because you get you get to like the nash or whatever from the toy store, and then you finally get to have a real deck in my first my first real skateboard was a Matt Hensley Mini. That was a slick.

Oh see I went for the king size. Okay, I went Matt Hensley King size.

He was.

Matt Hensley was one of the people I had on my wall. It seems I had like a wall of Matt Hensley at a wall of Jason Lee. Jason Lee went on to become an actor. The guy in my name is Earl and Matt Hensley quit skating at his peak and became a Billiard's pro like pool player, and then he was in flogging Mollie's.

So that's how people might know those guys.

But I always and now I respect that both those guys retired during their peak of being good at something. Yeah, even though when I was a kid, I'm like, why they're so good? Why am I going to keep doing this? If those guys are going to choose to quit? Now I understand, it seems.

Like Kensley's kind of come back, though I keep seeing him now. It seems like he's skating a little bit again.

The same with Jason Lee. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's uh.

You know, at some point you get tired of being a rock star and an actor and skateboarding perseveres. Also, I never wanted to mention skateboarding on this podcast because I assumed Karen wasn't into it, and then one day I found out that she was a closet admirer of skateboarder. I think she has like a childlike crush on a bunch of pro skaters. And then so all of a

All of it. I will dip. I will dip in and out, like like right now, ww, it's probably the least I've watched it in the last because it's just gotten It's just gotten real bad.

But that's how wrecks that, theatrics of it.

I think it's just the way wrestling works, right is you have to have you know, people that you can invest in, you like, and then there's a good story and you want to see the conclusion, which is always you know, them having.

A far I guess.

And I think that Vince McMahon, who even though they have writers and everything, he's he is the most hands on with every element. He's he's an old man and he just has lost the plot a little bit, and so now he's more concerned about like this pay per view a weekend or two ago, they had zombies around the ring. So at that point, I'm just like, this is you know, like these are two different things. Like if I want to watch zombies, I don't. I don't need to see that here.

But it's like so Vince McMahon showed up one day and said, my grandson like zombies, and then he went to how I like the Lorne Michaels or something like that.

Those two are very similar. I've heard many times that that they have very similar personalities and and so yeah, so I think that I don't prefer that right now. But there's wrestling in Japan that I'm really into right now, wrestling in Mexico. There's a second second company that runs on TNT. Anyway, So yes, I'm watching current product. I always like to watch the old ship. I watch it all.

There was a time that Jordan Morris and I when we worked at Fuel TV, that that network that brought me to Vegas and stuff, we sat in for the Luca Leebre wrestling Lucha vavoum, which, uh, yeah, what what kind of wrestling?

And is that again that that's yeah, it's it's those are it's Luca.

It's Luca.

That's yeah, it's it's Mexican wrestling, Luca Luca doors.

And for a segment they had me, I was like, yeah, I'll let these guys throw me around.

I thought that was a good idea. Uh.

And they did not hold back. Mostly it was slapping. I'm like, go ahead and slap me and leave hand marks. But then they started body slamming me. And if you aren't used to being thrown against ropes and then being clotheslined, uh, and you don't know.

How to fall.

I mean you can learn this from watching David Arquette or his Weird Ass documentary.

I was I.

I was looking into getting a neck brace, like when it didn't go away for a week, I had bruises.

I was really messed up, like they beat me up. That was fair a separate thing, that was.

But then Jordan and I commentated. Guests commentated with I think Tom Kinney and Dana Gould, who know how to talk about literally very wrestling without saying anything disparaging, whereas I was just like, oh, that guy's dressed like a chicken. Let me yeah, let me make chicken jokes. And I offended the audience by making light of the characters that they were rooting for. I didn't know the storylines. Yeah, I didn't know. I was just trying to be funny.

Well, Recida wasn't a.

Big one for a long time. Recita was Like there's a point when I was going to recieda once a month where I thought it was the highest point of the art form. Like watching everything in the world at that time, I was like, the best ship that's going on right now is in Resita. And it was the people they had, But also that room, this like American

Yeah.

But well, Ron funcches was when he moved to LA from Portland. He was the one like everyone needs to go to these shows so fun and I never made it happen. I think even back then I was scared to leave the house pre pre uh virus, but I I should have gone for some reason.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

It was like there's more like diving off ladders onto tacks and getting hit by light bulbs and stuff.

Is that element?

Not that one? So you mentioned the arquette thing like in that documentary you'll see me because during that match where he gets stabbed with a light tube, I was me and Matt and a couple other guys were right in the front row on the stage like we could grab the rope, but I had been to enough shows where they use light tubes that I fucking I bailed out because as soon as the two breaks, like, I don't want to breathe that shit in.

Blow it's like glass powder.

So so there are some promotions that are like that that run here, but the one that was in receipt

Know, right right right? Yeah, Yeah, it's hard not to commit. I compare everything to skateboarding, Yeah, but I didn't.

Yeah. It always makes me.

I think of the movie The Wrestler, which I thought was really well done, and I couldn't help but to compare that with being an aging road, especially when they're all in a room with catheters selling their merch. I was like, oh God, maybe I should get a writing job.

Yeah, yeah, you know Fuel TV.

Oddly enough, there was a movie that I saw on there at some point when that channel existed called Little Foss and Big Halsey And it's a a Robert Redford movie. But it must be a movie that him or someone else has wanted to not have exist, right because I saw it and I was like, holy shit, it's like it's like him and the guy from like if it's Harold and Maud or one of those, and they're like they're motorcycle racers like in the seventies, and it's a

Wow, did you watch it?

And maybe there's some off colored jokes in it or something that they're like, oh, I can't play.

It was like, I mean, there was a little bit of like so it's him and Redford's definitely a womanizer. And it's not a very good movie. It's like a it's like a buddy movie where they race motorcycles. But there wasn't any in my recollection. I haven't seen it in a while. You know, I don't want to, you know, but but I don't recall anything overtly like like what the fuck in there? You know?

So you're defending this movie no matter what you find. I definitely I'm on board for all of it.

Yeah, I want because I've always kind of been fascinated with Evil Canevel, just because he's a stuntman and I kind of respect that. But he's from Butte, Montana, so I grew up knowing that he was from the town near us near Missoula. But I found in Walmart a ninety nine cent DVD starring George Hamilton the Story of

Hey, what about love at First Bite? You know that George Hamilton movie.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Wait a minute, is that the one with Jim Carrey. There's another there's a no that's once Bitten. Yeah, there's a Jim Carre vampire movie.

Yeah, love it first bye. George Hamilton's the most tan vampire in the history of vampires.

You know, Yeah, you've been dead three hundred years. You're not supposed to You're supposed to be pale.

Especially when you know, when you hit the sack kind of early, you know, and you stay there.

It's uh, yeah, I'm.

Not supposed to be getting them, but you know it doesn't mean to say that you can't use self tanner or whatever.

Right, Yeah, they they Every vampire has their own fashioned choices. Maybe it was hanging upside down for a long time all the blood went to his face.

Also a fair point.

Yes, yeah, yeah, George Hamilton is someone that has been I've known who that was since I was a little kid, and until you mentioned that vampire movie and I said, I don't remember why I knew who he was.

He was just on everything in the In the Evil can Eevil, do they showcase his like crystal cane that you would keep wild turkey in?

Yes, yea, there is specific That's why I that's what I liked about the movie is the specifics in it actually taught me about Evil Knevil like he was.

He accidentally got into jumping.

Over cars on a motorcycle when a rodeo wasn't doing well. According to this movie, yeah, they're like, well, I know how to get more attendance at your rodeo. I'm going to jump this motorcycle over a car and people that went really well, you should do more cars like it just became. But he was a very unlikable character in it.

Yeah.

But the early days of thrill seeking.

Yeah yeah, you had to find it where you could the thrills, and sometimes it was out of rodeo.

Chad Pastrana would not have had anything to do in those days. They were still trying to figure out what, you know, how to dive off of shit and jump on things. So evil was on the forefront.

Yeah, that Travis Pastran It's maybe the Musha channel.

Sorry, No, he's a real Chad though.

I mean when you look at his face, he's a chant.

Yeah.

Yeah, Travis is more like, uh, you know, he travels at least, but yeah, yeah, he he is the most.

He's the Tony Hawk of that motocross.

Like he can be on a talk show and answer questions and be charismatic, but he is a lunatic.

Uh.

One time Jordan, the guy worked with, they did like a thumb wrestling thing as a gimmick. We always had to and for no reason at all, and I still don't understand it. Uh, during the I declare a thumb wre right at the he just punched.

Jordan in the nose.

What and Jordan didn't miss a beat and turned the camera and did the outro for the segment as blood came down to each nostril. And I think we aired it and it probably scared a lot of parents. But pro after that, I was like, Oh, this guy's he's just a thrill sneaker. He was trying to seek thrills by punching.

He's like, listen, man, I was just trying to get your adrenaline up.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I'm I'm an adrenaline junkie, even when it's someone else.

Yeah.

The guy after that, he made me nervous all the time, and I always had to be in the same room as that guy.

Well yeah, because you're going like, at what point will he decide it's time to punch me for fun?

Gag? Yeah.

One time in Vegas, I went as a magician, kind of a Sigfried and Roy magician, and interviewed these guys because they had the Nitro Circus was in Vegas, and they all of them wanted to fight me.

They didn't know who I really was.

I was really in character, and I was like, you guys know that I'm doing a thing right now. I would bail on it and like, turn off the cameras. Hey, this is how I really talk. I respect motocross, I skateboard, and you can stop flexing your jowls and your fists while you talk to me, because I'm picking up on how angry you're getting. And then they'd snap out of it. I'm like, okay, back to the magician character like.

And then slowly they get wound back up and you'd have to remind him again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, remember what I said when we turned the cameras off.

I don't have a lot of memory of the previous I've hit my head a lot.

I was just thinking about the hold in the Roman Candle.

One of those Metal Militia guys boxed Dave Mirra BMX guy that sadly passed away, but they both trained and there was a boxing match, and I think Mike Tyson trained them. It actually ended up being an amazing boxing match. Two guys that a year prior to that had no knowledge of boxing, and they got really good.

But yeah, I interviewed the uh.

I can't remember the Metal Malaysia guy's name, but yeah, at the end of it, he punched me in the stomach, like they just I just remembered I got punched by those Motorcross guys like to punch you during interviews.

Man, it's everyone has a different you know, love language or whatever. But it just seems a little weird that the these adrenaline junkies have to physically assault people their love language.

That was just how they were letting me know they were somewhat attracted to me.

Yes, it reverts back to the earliest days on the playground at Recess.

It was like when the girl that I like used to steal my hat and I thought she's being mean. She really just wanted to kiss me, getting me Travis Pastrana, you want to kiss me on the.

Mouth, didn't you?

He needs to come clean.

Other than golfing during this thing, What have you been getting into hobbies?

No, let's see, man, you know, recording the old podcast, I think I've told you. You know, I spent about the first six or eight months, you know, making sure I drank about.

Fifteen beers every night.

Yeah, and then I realized that that wasn't going to be a sustainable hobby for me.

Well, Georgia, did she stop? She like decide not?

She has? Yeah, she's not doing it right. Now, so I'm sort of make me yeah, in solidarity at home. I'm not I do obviously when I when I call for if I'm out of the house, you know, which has been good anyway. But yeah, so I was definitely because you know, I think early days pandemics like I don't really know what's going on and just stuck at home. So it's five o'clock, let's just do it, you know.

Yeah, I think a lot of people were doing that. It was so similar to my normal life where I'm just waiting for shows at night that I was right away, and I was scared. I was scared about I'm like, do I need to outfit my car for traveling across the country. Do I need to buy gas canisters? I'm going to work out. I bought all this gym equipment, rubber bands and stuff, and I was watching videos and I was like, I'm not going to drink.

I'm just but I was alone. I was like kind of going.

I didn't have a voice of reason with like, hey, it's going to be okay, you can have a sip of wine. Let's just I thought it would unre you know, I'd go off in some weird directions. So I was doing such a good job in the beginning, and it wasn't until I start to see everything getting back to normal and others thriving and getting back to working that I'm like, you know what, I'm going to start drinking again.

I'm going to create my own obstacle.

Yeah.

I don't know why, but everyone else has sorted it out.

Now it's my turn to.

Yeah, if other people are doing something, I don't like it anymore.

Kind of like Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I really liked that band, and then once they had a song on the radio, I'm like, boy, they suck. That's a bad example, because they do indeed suck now, But you know what I mean.

The other weird thing is, so I I've kind of always been into trading car cards, baseball, basketball, hockey, stuff like that, and I don't know if it's the pandemic or what happened. It definitely happened during the pandemic where they just have gone insane in popularity, where like on a national level, like Target doesn't sell them in the

Everything has just gone insane.

And I don't know. I don't know if people were home and then I was reading articles like, well, the card values are outpacing the like stock market, so people are investing in cards rather than that. I don't know, but it's.

Yeah, I think that is classically a hobby. I think older folks are probably getting back into stamps. I and I was, I was, I was keeping it to myself a little bit, but I got into miniatures and found out a lot of people like Sarah Shaefer made a miniature.

I saw that comedy.

It's unbelievable, so like it is, it is professional level. I still if you if you don't know Sarah Shaeffer, she her and Nicki Glazer at a podcast together.

She's a great comic.

But on the side, I think she just got into it in the past year like I did. But she made a working a comedy club with like a little menu like Henry little detail. But but yeah, but from scratch, like I think she built the walls out of masonite and measure and built. I used a kit and then modified my little kit, but she started from scratch and it's go to her instagram if you are interested. And

I was into it. Before the pandemic.

I just wasn't actively making stuff, but people were always bringing me tiny little things.

Here's a little coke bottle. Here's so.

I have accumulated many miniature accessories.

But so do you paint them or what's the.

No, it's not like the figures or because I'm into that too. And I when I was a kid, I was into train sets. I wanted a train set like in Arthur where his train set is his alarm and he wakes up to it. That I always thought was so cool, little ice skaters and stuff. Yeah, now I think this is more like I'm into backgrounds of animation like Wallace and Grommet, like t you know, one twelfth size brick walls and stuff like that. Like I'm just into it. I always have been, even when I was

But I've stressed this before.

I'm not into the dolls. I just like where they live, and I like tiny furniture.

What a shame that you have to even qualify that.

You know what, I don't anymore.

I like dollhouses, and if someone gave me some dolls, I would maybe position them in the little rooms that I've built and probably enjoyed that.

Maybe get a little sewing machine and make some clothes.

The best part would be outfitting them. Are you kidding me?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

I have a buddy who makes who will occasionally make like paper dolls, which is all really really cool to me, just like the ability to sort of do that shit.

But you know, I was thinking maybe that because I was gonna make a little clamation old guy in my library here, like grabbing a book, just try and learn animation. But I was thinking pieces of paper would maybe be easy to manipulate, and so maybe.

I should do paper dolls. Yeah, it would be kind of cool. M M. Yeah.

I got to get into it. I keep putting it off. I keep going outside and getting sun it's getting in the way of my indoor time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you need to spend a little more time in there getting a queen.

Well, I'm are you. We might be golfing tomorrow together, right, are you golfing tomorrow?

Golfing tomorrow? Just the not both, but but the early I'll be there.

Yeah, I got I'm just doing the early.

Early the next three days.

Well, I'll see you soon. Awesome, And it might as well wrap up here. Yeah, we've done long enough. But yeah, I'm glad that I've gotten to know you this year.

Yeah. Man, it's been awesome and I appreciate you having me on here as well. But very cool finding out who Chris Fairbanks is after all this time.

Yeah good good finding out about the mysterious Vince cool Man. Yeah, thanks for being on. You've been listening to Do you need a ride? D y n Ar?

That's I've always done that, Vince the kind of outro cool Man usually at the end, I homed Hong Kong.

Oh yeah, I didn't do the Hong Kong. Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want.

To be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a Turmano and gay. We want to send you off InStyle. You want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Malcorn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need with Karen and Cress

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