S2 - Ep. 63 - Janelle James

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send you off in style.

We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Malborn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Right? Do you need.

With?

Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

This is Karen Kilgarratt.

Follow Karen. How are you, Chris?

I'm good?

How are you?

I feel like I haven't talked to you in a very long time.

Yeah, I feel that way every time I see you, or anyone really, or.

Anyone in the world.

Actually, yeah, I'm going. I went golfing with your your my favorite murder tour manager, Vince the other day.

Oh he's he's good company.

Right, he is good company. Yeah, he brought his friend who is professionally good and we were all humbled.

But yeah, which is the point the point of golf?

Oh yeah, to make yourself feel bad? But be outdoors while you do it, so it feels healthy.

Love it.

My favorite that it's hard to clean silver linings from the way we do the podcast now. But one of the cool things is that we're able to have comics from New York City and other cities. That's right, you know, it just hit me one day. We didn't used to be able to do that.

I know now we can.

It's this is a rare New York booking, very rare, and you know she's beloved at clubs and colleges all over the country. Oh I missed that, ladies and gentlemen. Janelle James, thanks for picking me up at JFK.

You guys, Oh of course, it's crazy. The dedication.

Wow, we blew out the groceries in the back seat.

If you you can just make like, hey, are you fully backed, because we're coming to get you.

Come on.

I was like, I'm there. Did your grief?

Did you get your shot?

I have one, Tommy, yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's so funny because it's not funny, but I had to reschedule my second one. And these people have so much power now, Like you could tell. It was like Brauns who used to work in HR and now they're like head of the vaccine dole out shit and they're just like, what do you mean you need to reschedule.

I'm like, look, can I have it or not?

Like it was just she asked me so much, and I was like, I'm being responsible because a lot of people, they say, aren't showing up for the second one.

They're just not even showing up.

I'm like, here, I am trying to cancel first of all, so you guys don't waste one and then get my second day.

And she was so mean to me. It was crazy. I was like, all right, Susan away she let.

You do so at the end, yes, at the end, and come on exactly like when is all of this? You wouldn't ask your job?

She specifically the second vaccine reschedule person.

Your job wouldn't exist if I if people weren't running into these problems, So why are you anyway?

This is necessity? It was crazy.

She's like why I had to do it for I had to go to work, you know what I mean. I'm like, I don't know if you've heard, but the government haven't been giving us money and a lot of people ain't been working, and so I got a job, so I had to go. I am so sorry I took the first one. I'm off my week. Can I have enough? And she was anyway here.

I am also like, it's not going to become a habit, you know what I mean exactly?

Just help me out, Help me out.

I was like, do you want me to die? I got all dramatic, go to the place.

Yes, it's like she's.

Decided her or was like, I decide who gets a second vaccine?

But that's not really true. Her job is to give me.

One power tripping anyway, power tripping at the job at center or wherever you got it?

Yes, did you get jabbed at Javits?

No? I got into college. It was very efficient.

It was very I don't know, I mean I heard the same in uh In La, but it was very in and out. I went in and it had a long line, and I text my my friend who was uh you know. He was in the car and I was like, oh, I'm going to be a minute, you might as well park. And I was in and out of.

There, so yeah, me too. And I my people were so nice. I almost exchange numbers with them. Yeah, that's like the best time.

I forgot the whole sleeveless thing. They're like wear jacketing and the sleeps and I forgot that whole thing. And I had a hoodie on with just my brawl underneath.

That was, oh no, what the hell do you have to put? What did you do?

Around?

And up nuts? I said, look, just calm down, it is what it is.

And so I think, you know you went comedians. First of all, I haven't performed it so long. I'm in there cracking jokes the whole time, so I already had them. And then I was like I started a zipping. I was like, oh ship and I was like, hey man, I ain't no shirt on.

It's not a bit.

But it was a woman and a guy, and she kind of which women do it. I'm sure you remember from doing shows en. She got kind of like stiff with you know, and she and you know, I don't know if they acted in California, but they weren't really asking people how they qualified here, they know, right, So she had an act at this point and then she kind of was like, and why.

Did you qualify today?

And with this I was like, look, it's just titties. I don't care, do y'all care, I do have a brawn.

It's not even sexy.

It's like it's from Walgreens, like get out of it, you know, like one of those two pack things. But anyway, so he was dying and laughing. But she was very upset that she had to see the top of my boobs.

But that is very suddenly asking you what your qualification. Yes, she's going to be the one that exactly calm dass, the tiniest bit of power going right your head.

They always ask why you're there, but they can't they can't ask any questions about your story. Apparently that's a law half of the facts.

Yeah, yeah, well I was listening, like I was right next to the booth that ever, and they weren't asking anyone, so I just thought it was And she didn't ask until I was like, hey, I don't have a shirt on.

Maybe she was like, wait, is this a homeless lady or something? But homeless I should also get vaccine? Yeah, homeless?

So what ouse judgments?

It reminds me of when I used to breastfeed, the same thing.

It will always be women like there are men out here, like I don't give a fuck, like anyway, whatever.

It's pretty necessary. When I went, it was at the Walgreens by my house, and somebody else that told me Walgreens has opened up, and so I just refreshed on the website a couple of times and got an appointment. I was like, oh my god, no one asked me anything about quality, anything at all. And then I tried to have a moment with the pharmacist who gave me the shot, but he was because I was like, have you seen people cry? Does anybody hug you?

And then he was just like no, he's like, next you.

I mean, I appreciate that too, but I definitely went in there with clown energy, so I appreciate it. And if they give me a fishing, I'll give you a fishing. But he was very nice and that we were talking and she come freaking heckler.

Anyway, please put your broaway, ma'am. Please can't believe you. Warrior brought it.

College And this is three weeks ago. This isn't even like cut the line of.

Time, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah. I didn't even realize that I had an autoimmune thing. I forgot about it and I called my doctor and he said, yeah, you you had arthritis because you were sick, and so all of a sudden I realized, just because I have a bad memory, yeah, that I have an autoimmune thing.

But when I seems like the best version of an auto mean thing, the one that you can forget about.

Yeah, not an issue in the day to day. It's just when it comes in handy, when those shots get nilled out.

But the goal is for everybody to get shot.

So yeah, they just seemed just happy that everyone was there. I think we're to that point hopefully.

Yeah.

My friend made a really good point.

Who was it?

I should give them credit, but now I can't remember. But they just said everybody has a pre existing conditioner because everybody has anxiety, and like, uh, what was it? The one that's like related to your heart? Shit, it was an actual technical term. It was like, uh, oh shit, I can't remember. But anyway, yes, hypertension exactly. It's like who cannot Who could argue with you if you say, oh, yeah, I just lived through a year of corn hello pandemic and ago.

I do I do understand when they were trying to get people in the nursing homes first and all of thoselves Although the one time I did feel like a piece of shit during this was when they said I saw on the news they're like one hundred.

And one gets vaccinate. I was like, where's she going one hundred and one? That's crazy to me? I mean sure, I mean I guess people want to see her.

I just was just like, anyway, she immediately steps on a huge boat and she's like, yet my vacation life begins at one hundred and one.

They can barely find a van owner. And she was just like, what is happening. I've been through eight planes already. This is crazy.

This is more or less bad than World War One.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're the only one here that knows.

And you actually were there for it.

Then I felt I've been on a like feeling bad about having that thought.

But whatever, Janelle, have you been doing like online comedy shows or like those like game kind of game show thing?

And you know, to my party, I wasn't doing those things before had either.

I never did my credit.

This is in new behavior for me.

I would never do podcasts and anything really, even pre quarantine. It's very hard to catch me on these things. You know, when they would have the live shows where they're like it's like you said, it's a game show. You know, They're like, come do my show, and you think it's comedy and now you got to.

Do jingles or draw and all that shit. I would never I'm doing one tomorrow. I have to write, like, yo, there was three tech rehearsals. What yeah, yeah, oh I have to check in early tomorrow. It swallowed my whole week. But maybe it'll be fun.

Maybe not warantine.

Maybe, but I just I can't because first of all, this happened beforehand, and it happens even now when you're not doing anything. You say yes, like a month ago, you're like yeah, and then it comes up.

You're like what.

It's a shock every time every time I go, what was the fucking thing? And I get fantasy, I get I'm.

So furious, Like, I know, I don't want to do that. Why did I.

Say that mine was to be asked You're just kind of like, yes, exactly, but no, I know mine was worded and so well that I just thought they were asking me to be on a TV show, Like I just like it's exciting.

It was it was written a couple of people in the in the green virtual green room.

Yeah, so no.

I haven't really been doing I tried. I did one drive in that was I was so awful. I could not And then it made me feel like like I was losing my mind because some of the comics was.

Like that was great.

I was like, what are you? What is happening?

Like the fact that people are blowing a horn at you as applause is not cool.

Yeah, no, I thought it would be worse. I did one Where'd you do? That?

Was it in Nervine, New Jersey.

First of all, those horns had an attitude. I thought those warrens had an attitude.

I was worried about people laying on the horn, but my audience was like beep, like they were doing little first, so I thought they're very polite and.

Well this it depends on the old. The lights was blaring.

It was just like it felt like I was in a high speed chase and the toppers and sounds. I couldn't hear myself the horns, and at that point I hadn't done stand up in three months. I guess it was just I just and I'm sure it has a lot to do with me, because it's just the same reason I don't do many of the game shows stuff. Some people's acts lend themselves to those type of shows better than mine. So of course some of the comics were who are more energetic and are like.

Make noise and all of that stuff. Had a great time and I wanted to die.

So if you tell stories and everyone's hard to maintain or even notice that you're maintaining their attention long enough.

Am I doing? Well? Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, so well, that's why I liked the honks because it was something I had been doing all those Zoom shows and it's utter silence. So comparing to that, yeah, Hank, make traffic noise.

Yeah, at least.

Like maybe two maybe two of Zoom shows. One that was I did Lori Kill Martin and Jacket Station and it was fine. But I have not done stand up and so I was talking to I thought like I was talking and talking and I was like, so how much time?

And they were like three minutes.

It's hard. Yeah, Like it's a weird other dimension. I was trying to explain this to somebody the other day and they were just like, I don't know what you're talking about. I call it this zoom recoil because we have to be on Zoom meetings throughout the day, and every time I go to log off, I hate myself to a new low just because of like conversational shit I tried to throw in kind of awkwardly and back, like I go to click off and then I'm just like I wanted to and I'm just like, what is that?

It's exhausting.

We're it's so fucking exhausting, and it's so like we all want to make sure everyone's okay or like that we're okay or whatever the fuck.

It's always a way up here.

But I will tell you I've started taking doing college shows on Zoom, which are equally awful, but they pay so much it makes you okay, you know, Yeah, so I'll take colleges. There's what do you care what they think?

You know what I mean?

Thirteen?

Yeah?

Can you hear now? Or do you just go through your So it's.

Part So the first one I did, I could not, And now as part of my contract, it's like contractorally obligated to have at least fifteen people on screen while I'm talking, because.

It's like, what is happening? You know what?

I mean, it makes you feel like they're making fun of me if you don't see anybody, you know what I mean, Like I'm just talking and they're just like but not laughing with you know, at my jokes, like laughing at me.

That's what it feels like if you don't see them.

So now they have to have fifteen people at least that I can see and here, and it's have.

To be going like this the whole time.

What have.

Yes, I need something, and I also need to be paid before my before I close my laptop.

So they're probably, I thought, their loving part because that's how they're going to school right now too.

Yeah, it's.

I always used to be very nervous to do college shows because I feel like my material I ain't talking about young shit. I'm like, y'all don't have a mortgage or fucking you know, you know, babies and stuff. But they're so appreciative, so sometimes it's cool. I feel like the girls they still don't know female comics and they're just like, wow, you know, so I don't mind.

And again again in that budget, you know. Yeah, it's I first.

Shocked out how much that's something. One of the first things I learned because my friend had started to do colleges when I was like maybe in my third year of stand up, and then I was just like, that's where I'm headed because it was it to me so much money. It seemed like five million dollars. It was so much money comparatively.

Yeah, it was great to like doing club shows.

Hell yeah, yees, we're working at the fucking gap, which is what I was doing.

Like, yes, it's a huge promotion.

I won't, however, do I've said no to these cruise ship things. I just don't want to do that for some reason.

I don't think I'm not clean enough for that. For that, that's part of it. Yeah, I don't want that clean. I'll do anything once, but that seems no. And the thing with cruise is you finished the show. Now you got to run into these motherfuckers for four more days. You live with them, drink you know those people that are a cruise you're that person.

There's nowhere to hide. You hide under a piano in a karaoke bar or something. You know you're going to run everyone again.

Yeah, every person. Yeah, they'll tell you exactly what they thought of your materials exactly and give you some hints exactly.

I'm so glad I ran into you. You know what I was thinking last night after I saw her, You can have this, you can have God.

Yeah, I had some ideas as I was looking out at the sea about your act. Oh God, have you been writing on Black Monday during this I have.

This time, during the serious time of our.

Last societal setback. I don't like the pandemic anymore.

I was working on Central Park when it first We had just started Central Park when it first hit.

Finished that up, and then yeah, I went back to Black Monday and that's been great. And yeah, I just finished Back Monday two weeks ago. Well, I don't even that's a whole other thing. I don't know if I'm finished. I had to leave because I books my first pilot.

Writing or acting acting amaze.

Yeah, so that's why I had to missed my second shot, because I had to fly away, and so I kind of jumped out of Black Monday. But now I don't know if I'm going back or I don't know. That's the whole thing. But yes, I've been writing on that show. Yeah, it made it made me think about it, like, oh, I should text somebody to figure out.

If I'm still.

Avoid you should get a schedule. Yeah.

I just came back from LA this morning.

Did you know anything about the stock market before that show or you learning about it?

Actually, I still don't know about it. Nobody's watching Black Monday to get stock tips. Like that's what makes the show so fun, Like we just make that ship up and it's always like.

Nerds watching it. When they're all yelling and holding pieces of paper. It's just like, oh, yeah, you just learned that from trading places.

Yeah, no one knows really, even the actors always.

Like nerds on Reddit, like actually if you blaue blah blah and it whatever, Like we try to blow past that stuff because where bored as writers.

And I remember one time we had.

Somebody call call the like who actually knows about it, and they were supposed to talk to us, and it was like three minutes and we were like, never mind, it doesn't matter, doesn't matter, and I just maxed up. I'm like two on the down breaking it.

Well, I just you know, I just write anything and they let us do it. So that's why it was so great. That's hilarious.

Yeah, it's TV, it's entertainment.

Yeah, most people don't know that stuff. It's one percent of the population that I doubt any of the technically, and they.

Don't watch TV. They're on a yacht, you know. Yeah, the supermodels ass.

So whatever doing blow and Lamberg of course, can you talk about the pilot.

Yeah, it's a girl. Her name is Quinta Brunson. She was like a h I'm gonna date myself. It was either vine or YouTube, one of these internet things she was. She like broke from that and she's a stand up as well. And I'm a principal. Well that's good, that's good casting. I'm the principal who is very inept and I don't know what I'm doing and they don't know how I got the job. I got the job through nefarious means, and basically they're trying to get rid of me.

Like they're like, you don't know what you're doing, and she's like what, Like she just doesn't even She's like, here's some pencils or whatever, you know what I mean. It's just so I've just never played, first of all, a cheerful character. I've never.

I always get tough cop woos blah blah blah, you know whatever, and so and like, you know, just kind of an idiot. I've never played like a simple person. So it was just and it was just interesting them. Yes, my audition, That's why auditioned. I was just like, oh, this would be good and against type and what against at least against type of what people think I am because I always get very serious like auditions and stuff.

But that's based on my stand up and I get it.

But yeah, anyway, Also, it's almost like a double victory because you got the part, which I think that in and of itself deserves more celebration, even if the thing never goes oh no whatever, get actually auditioning when hundreds of people auditioned for that same part, Yeah you fund it's amazing. And then the fact that you were playing against type, Yeah you got picked is too. Gold medal, Yes, thank you, thank you so much.

It's exciting. Like I said, I just got back this morning. I'm still like, oh, you know, but I had, just I had I'm going to make all the actors hate me now. But it's the only thing I've auditioned for all year and I got it.

That's great.

And also I had just had hernia surgery like a couple of days before, so I got I did my I did my first audition pre surgery. Then I had surgery, so I had to do my I had to do three more callbacks like like live zoom auditions for like execs and stuff like that, because this is like an ABC policy. It's just like all these levels of people it has to go through. Yeah, and I was so high on oxy like it was.

That's where you got that cheeriness.

Man, I guess because they were like, we know you just had surgery, are you okay? I was like, I am on the finest opioids, Like I just trained and start up till I was like, let's.

Do this, like and that is the key to acting right there. Yeah, you're just giving away the secret.

Man. I was funked up and I got it, so, hey.

You just become addicted. No, I'm trying to stay in character all season.

It comes open amazed.

Have you had guys ever taken it? Had to take those I was so afraid of it. I didn't even finish it. But now I got it for some good times. Later on, I got like a bunch of extras and h and that was very like.

I got my hip replaced and they gave me something. But it was I was itchy all the time, like your fro. I felt great otherwise, but do you.

Know imber No, I remember it was great.

And I remember one time I got like dental surgery and I had was it is it vicing in? That's the lower that's the lower opioid. And I was telling my boyfriend at the time. I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. He was like, well, let me have one.

I was like no, and we ended up like tussling on the floor.

And I was just like, look at us. This is how people become addicts. Like I was ready to murder him for anyway. We ended up splitting it. But anyway, the point.

Is that, so, yeah, anytime I do drugs, I'm like, hey, I get it.

Yeah, I totally get it.

And that's why I had I said I'm going to switch to talel all like as soon as I could. Yeah, pain wasn't excessive. I was like I could totally see myself getting addicted.

Yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah, well also it's the perfect excuse like that, you know, because you it's like this is what you're supposed to do and you're free to do it. But then you're also really enjoying it exactly when you know you're just like, all right, well this is the This is basically where people there's left or a right.

Turn can you make Yeah, like yeah, this is how I'm going to live for the rest of my life.

Two days later, my doctor called check in and I was like, this is amazing. I gotta put these things down. I gotta put these so anyway.

It's good to know they're there when you need them there.

It is principal Janelle coming to a TV. You totally sober. Yeah, thank you.

That's so good. I checked them vico In when I had because I've had like I had impacted wisdom, teeth, yeah, tooth shit, and I really wanted to be like, yeah, this is what everyone's talking about. And every time I took vico in, like two hours into it.

I would just start puking.

Oh no, I'm one of those people with it. So I would have that thing where like then they have to get they would decide if they're going to give you something stronger or like base, but it'd always be eighteen.

It sucks, I know, I know.

It's like those people that smoke weed and they're like, I don't feel anything. I feel so bad for y'all.

I a am. It's so so few joys in life, you know what I mean.

Yeah, I used to be that person and then suddenly it made me crippled with anxiety.

So what weed? Yeah, we does.

Oh no, I'm okay with it now.

I think weed.

It's so strong, it's very strong. You have to watch those percentages.

It's so strong.

It'll say a little bit. It's all of it's great. Now.

Yeah, yeah, I would also not to encourage you. But you're an now, I mean, yes, let up your local weeds. Mollious. You go up and you're like, hey, sometimes I an anxiety. They're like, dude, let me introduce you to this ship.

You know what I mean. I love those guys.

Yeah, I got to figure out what works for me. Yeah, because I'm like, this stuff works, let me write it down.

But I'm high and forget and then you forget exactly. I'm always calling my friends. What was that ship? Remember we were on the mountain and then you know.

Yeah, and then they just say hybrid and it's like, well, thanks, that's very It tasted lemony.

Yeah, yeah, I do remember that.

Yeah, yeah, I remember it was a Champagne stre It's always one where you're like, this is it. This is It's like, you don't think that had anything to do with your personal life, what you were going through stress? No, stress is the champagne.

Yes, that was making it happen for.

Me other than work. What have you been doing in the past the time? What makes you?

I mean, are you still doing Are you still doing your podcast podcast?

Yeah?

I've been on hiatus.

Okay, yes I am. Let me at first say to both of you and and mostly you Karen, like, I mean, I knew previously because I've tried to start podcasts before. But it's a lot of work, and I really hope that people. I think maybe during quarantine people have figured that out. They're like casual listener has figured out how much work a podcast is. Yeah, but so yes, I am still doing it, but I could not do it

I have to try.

So I was like, I'm going to not do anything and really think or I had to do this character. And so it's been about three weeks and people are hounding me, which I know is a good thing, but yeah, but I'm also like, give.

Me a chill, you know what I mean, you can take time off just especially for that, especially for getting a great job or you know that's yeah, yeah, then you're going to come back and have even more to talk about.

But if you're listening, it's you in danger girl.

There's like I don't even know how many episodes, about eighteen or so episodes.

You can go listen to the Bad Catalog. I'm really happy with it. It did really well, like pretty quickly, and it was fun.

It was a good especially before, like I had a break between my two writing jobs and it was like just the thing I was doing it was so fun. But then I realized, also I did the thing that I hate and I gave myself a homework show.

I gotta watch a whole movie. Yeah, I gotta take No, I'm like, what am I doing?

Yeah?

So what is your podcast?

It's a famous qube from what Pe Goldberg and go Yeah, No You've been danger girl?

Yes, based on Whoopee Yeah.

And it's Waiting for Ghost podcasts.

We people send in letters about red flags that they've either ignored or experienced in relationships, and I read them, me and a guest we read them. We talk about the letter I try to make I don't. We are making fun of people, but I try not to make it mean or anything like that. And then I talk about all the dumb shit I've done, and then we then review an erotic thriller of the week.

So oh wowneas two podcasts at once kind of yeah.

And so I mean I've gotten smarter and done it.

Now we do bi weekly where one show is just letters no mo, so I don't have to watch a movie every week.

Which sounds like nothing, but it.

Really you know what I mean, it's tons of production.

Yeah, And I was like, oh, I love erotty thrillers. Now I'm like, what the fuck was I.

And what I'm figured out I love I know I liked erotic thrillers because I used to watch them like in my you know when in my twenties and stuff.

I like the sex scenes. That's really what it is.

And while now I'm watching them now I'm like, this movie is stupid, Like why did I think I like this? But so, but that becomes part of the podcast. So, like recently we mad Cruel Intentions. Cruel Attentions is horrible.

It's insane.

I used to think I love that movie, you know what I mean, And so to watch it as an adult adult has been you know, watch all those movies as an adult has been interested.

When I think of erotic thrillers, I do just think of movies from the nineties mostly do you end up watching.

I mean there's current ones. There are current they're still churning them out.

Yeah.

Yeah, And but we have done the basic instincts, the cruel intentions. Fear with Reese Wooderspoon was amazing. The Boy next Door, What's the what's the one with the Princess Brian guy basically carry Elvis and Alicia Silverstone, which the.

Crush or whatever. Yeah, confused that with Fear fear of Murky mark in It.

For Fears Marky Marrow And yeah, that one is. But the difference is fear is Markey Marker is. She's the fem fatale in that one. And what I've realized is a lot of those movies, mostly written by men, are just men getting their gross kinks off movie form. It's a lot of like male gays at pre prebescent girls and nine games and a lot of she made me do it, you know kind of storylines.

And I'm just like, wow, I.

Don't know this political commentary is Yeah.

I'm always like, let's wrote this, Like what is going on with you? Robert Glassman, Like why would you write this?

Are you listening?

Blash Man called to the mat. Now are people and suggesting movies to you?

Yes?

Yes, I don't listen to them, but yes they are. I mean I have a whole list. I let the I try to let the guest pick because they you know.

Yeah, that's first. I ain't paint, so.

At least let you watch a movie that you would like to see. But you know, it's just like anything. People think they're the first person to suggest something. You know, everybody's like basics, like you think I don't know anyway, So I have a whole list and I'll give it to the guest and then they pick.

But can I suggestion? Yeah, sure, you know that. I think it's Sharon Stone and Billy Baldwin movie Slivers Sliver or Slipper Sliver.

It's Slipper or Silver. Yes, it's been on the list since the beginning.

I'm surprised someone hasn't chosen it yet, but it will get around to it, I'm sure.

Yeah, it's just there is the it's so nineties because it's like she lives in a fancy high rise, like an advanced futuristic high rise building. That alone, I'm obsessed with a genre of like the building is one of the stars of the movie is hilarious to his And then it's the idea that there's there's hidden cameras everywhere, so it's like super dirty voyeur.

There's a that's a there's a book series. I used to also read erotic thrillers. Maybe that's a and so it's called it's called the In Depth Series. And I really think Slipper stole a lot from that. Things like a female she's a female detective and she's married, to like a billion the nice billionaire, the hot billionaire. That doesn't exist. First of all, like nice men nice or hot like men only work that hard to become a billionaire because they're ugly, Like nobody, like hot.

Dudes don't have to work that hard. You could just settle. You can let a million exactly million. But but this.

Guy's is the hottest million. They live in a tower like that. He's a tech bro. And then and these books were written in the early nineties, so I think that movie borrowed a lot from that female author book series.

Yuh right, it's a man anyway.

Whatever, none of these movies are written by women.

It's just kind of hilarious to me.

That should be a new a new genre.

Also, sorry to go back to my building movie.

Do you remember the story?

There were stories where in the I can't remember if it was the late night News or early two thousands, there were those buildings that they built super fast in Brooklyn or like over there that were they were falling down from the inside like they were they had built those high rises to like star money off the real

This to you now like.

A dramatic version of money Pipped.

Yes, exactly, Well, because but where will they have sex?

There's god.

Gotta have sex, and there's a lot of Yeah, there's a lot of thrillers.

That's the other thing.

Why don't really take suggestion because people will suggest thrillers such as a hand of rocks, the cradle and things like that, But those aren't erotic thrillers.

You know what I mean. It has to have a sex scene something.

The best ironic thrillers are relationship seems ideal, a new person comes by, somebody funks up, and now they have to deal with like a crazy person. Those are the like that's the blueprint, you know, and those are the best.

Uh well maybe, so just figure out what floor has a collapse that you can have sex on and and.

Rework that may be for my building Falling Down podcast so you can do it, won't overlap on your ring, and it pitch it.

Back to me.

I'm hoping hearing it open to the idea.

Yeah, it's a bunch of the tenants fall to the basement and they meet. Yeah, there's an.

Orgy, blouses are torn off, erotic. Yeah, the blousy woman's there.

I'm looking off it's in the distance because I can see it.

Yeah yeah, yeah, in your mind's eye to see this whole concept.

But anyway, yeah, yeah, check it out.

It was It was fun and it has been fun, and I hope to get back to it. It's also hard for me to take a break from something and then go back to it. I'm a very like next type of yeah person, But I think I think I will.

Are you anxious or nervous to because you were opening for Chris.

Rock like a year ago, right, m h.

Are you anxious to get back to that or does it make you nervous to think about being in front of those crowds again?

I mean I was nervous then. Yeah, I'm always nervous and I am. I am excited for when it really feels safe. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Right now, I'm just still nervous about Corona, even vaccinately not. I'm still just not only worried for myself but everyone else. And yeah, and comedians are so needy. I know, they don't uh, they don't follow rules. Every picture everybody's hugged, faces pressed together. I gotta I'm gonna have to beat the bitch, just like, don't touch me.

And that's the audience that's gonna show up too, is people that yeah, just like yeah, I'm.

Just I'm acting even harder because I'm just so happy to be outside.

Yes, I love to spit. I love spinning.

There was already those like I want to hug you, blondes that would always be around.

They're gonna be even more.

They're not even gonna ask now, They're just gonna do it. And so I think I'm gonna go back, probably after I get back. The cellar here in New York is open, I might do. I'm gonna pop in and just see how it is. But I'm not like anxious to get back.

It's a clean stirit. That's a comforting thing this whole time is knowing that everyone at all levels of success are starting from a.

Slee start, starting from scratch y.

Yeah me, that's exciting. I don't know.

Yeah, when it's open and we really are.

Like joyful and back out there, then sure, I'm miss stand up a lot, but it's not my life blood.

I think that shit is losing shit when people act like.

That, Yeah yeah, now you're a road comic and you've been missing.

I know.

I'm lucky in that I was able to pivot to writing and had an income your road comic and you've launch.

I totally get it. But those people are just like, man, I gotta get on state, like no you don't. Yeah, yeah, nobody's clamoring this one. Stand up is good, Like you could just disappear and nobody gives a fuck.

Yeah.

It took me a while to realize stand stand up it's like one of my main sources of income. So after a few months, I'm like, oh, I need to that's why.

I mean, that's amazing.

Yeah, it's amazing, And I know, I remember the first people I thought about when we went on lockdown were the people who had made posts, and I remember exactly who they were, Like at the top of the year, that's like, this is the year I'm gonna quit my full time job, yeah and do full for I was like, fuck, like, I can't imagine.

How that was.

But the people who are okay, the rich fucking comedians who did pets stand up all through the pandemic, like, get the fuck out of here.

It's so eager, maniacal and lose a ship.

To me, it's loser, Like, get a life, get a love, get a family, get a hobby, like it's crazy.

Also get some priorities, because I mean, yeah, pretending that it's gonna be fine when you yeah, and you're.

Kind of like, but what if one person gets it and dies.

Because of your fucking jumpy young jokes. You're like your word.

Observations about pizza delivery had.

Right now, But what I have because I was like very emotional, most of the quarantine, just like it's people I'm like, I'm never going to talk to them again, and I'm trying to like calm down now, Like there's definitely people I'm not going to talk to again because I was like, oh, you really just don't give a fuck about anybody, and I don't know if I want to be friends with you.

I revealed a lot.

Yeah, yeah, but I have been reading about, you know, just about how people cope and stuff, and that is a coping mechanism in that I just don't believe it. I just it's not as bad, like and that's how they deal with the stress. So I'm trying to give people that grace, like, oh, maybe that's what's going on with you.

Yeah, but yeah, what I realized I don't like. I don't like anyone with that coping mechanism. I just figured that out. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's hard. It's very hard.

It's a very selfish coping mechanism. Usually I find coping mechanisms are more about debilitating myself. So when somebody has a coping mechanism that also is very self serving, I hate them twice as much because it's like my coping mechanisms are usually like.

I'm going to stay home.

I mean, you're the only one that gets armed.

Yeah, yeah, exact repeatedly, repeatedly.

Yeah shit, Yeah, So it's it's it's been hard times.

Yeah, I really relate to self defeating people. Yeah, that's that's my that's my whole bad Well.

Also, this the end. I've said this to several people in the last week or two because it feels like it's over and it is not all. So we're now all about to go into the cabin fever. Yeah, part part that I am not looking forward to, and I'm already feeling myself and people around me going a little crazy.

But everyone's kind of going like we still aren't around each other.

So you literally have to check it and be like, hey, I'm livid with you about blah blah blah, and then the person who has to either go like I'm really sorry or I don't know what you're talking about or something, but like we're still not on the alla same reality.

I mean, I am fucked up because I just came from shooting a thing where we had masks off talking to each other. I was feeling breath on my face and all of that, so it was and I have really been quarantining in strictly for a year. I wasn't going nowhere, So yeah, that was like ooh, but also like you for so it was like a really you know and even all now, like I said, I just got back this morning. I'm like, is Corona and me I don't know, but you know, but it's uh, but.

You probably are tested all the time all the time.

But again it's great. I mean it was great. And it was.

Also not the big up a corporation. But Warner Brothers very strict like some studios aren't. They aren't all doing it the same. And Warner Brothers was like, hey, hey test you know, like they were really strict on it, and uh, really hammering in the testing is not precaution. You just you get it after the fact, you know, we find out after the fact. It's not a preventative thing, which I think people were also doing a little bit.

Like I can test it once a week, what do you mean you know that type of shit.

But so it was the safest possibility, it was the safest environment to be in.

But also nothing is one hundred percent.

Yeah, getting a negative test just means oh I didn't get this two weeks ago. You never know exactly like incubating in your book, Yes, so you get it in.

Two weeks it's yes, and that reality. So we've been living in that reality for the past over a year. Yeah, of anything could happen in any time. I could be entirely safe. I could be in my house blah blah blah, and then I go to the gas station.

Get it so much stress?

Yeah, it's fucking nice, and it's.

Gonna and we are in a country that deals with stress in any real way. And we and I don't think we are. We're gonna gloss over it. Ship is gonna open, it's gonna go right back. We forget shipped very quickly. And we haven't even warned the fucking half a million people.

And have died.

Really, it's really it's fucked up, man. This is We're in like a dystopian novel right now.

And it's also like a recipe for like alcoholism abused all those It's like we're all gonna want to go out into the world and then obliterate our Yeah.

Yeah, basically, well, I was saying like and it was proven doing this, doing this shoot like I feel like once bars and if I start going to bars and stuffing, I won't even need drinks.

Just conversation is like, my mind is like, holy ship. My brain is like whoa, you know what I mean, talking up people? You know.

So I'm hoping, Uh, that's what I'm excited for. Yeah, and then help the resurgence of the RT.

Hopefully people start appreciating us a little more. And yeah, I don't know.

Those are all positive things. So that keep me going, the fact I feel that way after a small conversation from a distance, feeling like a party. Yeah, like, oh, life is good, let's living.

Getting a stranger again, that'd be awesome.

Oh God, tell me about it.

Please, some rando, just a rando from somewhere.

Just making out. Yeah, yeah, lips on lips. That's that's gonna be awesome.

So no, I'd live in like a monk like this.

I just yeah, in the same person for a year. And this has been nuts.

It has been I mean.

But also what's cool is that everybody kind of.

Figured it out, pulled their shit together, and like kept going forward. That's the thing that I really love. I mean, maybe not everybody, but most of the people that I know, it's just that thing of like we're just going to do it, We're just going to get through.

But that's also a coping mechanism, you know. Yeah, I'm very much like that. I just started taking every job that was thrown.

At me, you know what I mean, So works through it. And now I'm tired but still alive, I guess, and.

Knowing that I'm in a much better position than a lot of people. I'm just trying to remember that. And also, you know, I have friends who I hate, so.

Life is a mixed bag, and I've told them.

They've come around, Hey what's going on?

And I'm like, I don't fuck with you. When I said that before, I meant it like you.

And what I said on Twitter, Yeah you.

Went to Tuloom during a surge. I don't fuck with you.

And not only did you go, you posted it on the internet like you didn't care, Like you don't even have the smarts to do shit in secret, Like what is what is this? How much do you want likes? I don't want to be friends with los us like that, so leave me alone. I've straight up told people that, like I am.

Not no thanks, So yeah, added step of bragging about it. It's crazy.

That's like sociopathic to me, what are you doing?

Are those people that they can't not do it? Though there are those people that can't be it.

I don't like it.

Yeah, that's my main gripe and fear of fame because people are like, you know, I'm happy I got on a pilot, but it's not like now I'm like, oh, now I'm gonna be famous. I'm like, oh, now I might be famous, Like I don't. I don't. I didn't grow up wanting to be famous or even a comedian or in the business and none of that stuff. And it's I don't like it. I don't want to become one of those people that needs likes. It's just all gives me the creep.

So really that's interesting to me, Jille, because today you're tweeted. Let's tell people how much they mean to how much they mean to us while they're still around, starting with me.

And that was that was a great joke.

I retreated it. I retreat it, but I was like, I completely didn't see it, and what happened.

And what happened is a lot of people started saying awesome things about me, and then I had to eventually close it because I got embarrassed.

That's that's how I am.

Yeah, I was like, ah, oh no, And so I am very much always back and forth as far as the same thing, like I know I have to do not have to I should do social media?

Yeah, that's what they tell us.

And so you kind of tiptoe and then once I get too much attention, I'm like, I disappear.

So uh, you said you didn't grow up wanting to be a comic. Did it just kind of suddenly? How did it happen?

What did you want to do?

I went to I've done everything I was, I've done everything, and I just I grew up wanting to do whatever I want.

Mm hmm.

I like used to say that, or I'm going to do whatever I want, or my mother said, what are you going to be? I'll be like everything, I'm going to do everything, And that's kind of what I'm doing.

But I went to fashion school. I went to Parsons.

I worked in fashion design here in New York for ten years, and then I moved to the Midwest with a person that I'm.

Not going to talk about.

And see, this is me trying to keep my personal life all the time to myself to the Midwest, and so I was there with him and not liking it, and was in the grocery store one day and he was in the grocery store when he knew I didn't like it. I was very much in the house with my kids, doing a homemaker type thing, which was very out of my element from working in fashion and being fabulous.

So that's how he could be it's me. And also we had a mouse problem.

Anyway, elements, there were influences, yeah, more than one.

Thing, because you know, when I worked in fashion my first kid.

After my first kid, I had just had him, and I went back to work six weeks later and my boss pointed in my body in like that diva way, you know, when I'm trying to describe it for people listening, but they like the way it swirl. They get a waved finger down and he said, what are we gonna do about this?

Oh?

No, yeah, And so that was I'll never forget that. And so then when I got pregnant with my other kid. I was like, well, damn, I guess I'm done in this industream under me Like I'm really at that thought, and so I hate my Yeah, we moved to the midwivet Fashion baby Baby on the Cat the.

Scott Rooting of fashion. Anyway, that guy is so funny.

That guy also threw something in one of his assistants anyway, it was a mouse. So I was very much depressed in the Midwest. Two kids like what am I doing? Because this ain't it? And my guy came home and he was like, somebody gave this to me in the grocery store and it was a flyer for an open mic, and.

I was like, what is this? He was like, I don't know.

You always looking for stuff to do or whatever, like you should, you should go, And for whatever reason I went.

I had no idea what an open mic was.

I had no idea how comedians started or I just knew Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Richard pryor like I didn't even know there were hundreds of comedians.

I didn't know you can make a living a small time.

I had never been to a comedy club, only like big you know, theater shows and I went and I was like, oh, this is cool, and they were like you can. I have a very distinctive life, so I guess that's probably why they came over like hey, did you enjoy And I was like, yeah, this is cool, and they were like, you can do it next week if you wanted. I was like, what do you mean and he's like, you just sign up, you do four minutes, and I just I did.

Yeah, And so it did happen as an accident though, that's yeah, what's that? And I like Minnesota?

Where were what state? Or you don't say, oh no, this is Illinois? Oh like Peoria or Peoria did you bust?

Yeah? Yeah?

Home club?

Oh wow, that's great.

That's my home club.

Yeah, I've been there a few times. I love I loved it there. Then yeah, yeah, are they still around or is it?

He's been really true through the pandemic, trying to, you know, keep it together.

But I think I think he will. It's been so much.

Shit happened there and he's kept it going, you know what I mean, Like every time something happens, we all rally around him and keep it going. But he's been really trying to abide by the rules, like he's very COVID aware and everything. While everything else has been open, he's been closed and so but I think it's been there so long it would be really sad if if it did close down. But anyway, yep, that was my home club. So yeah, I did that open mic. I obsessively did stand up after that.

That was my thing.

Can you remember any of the jokes you did in that first round?

Oh, it was all about my dad dying. I was like, lower kill Martin. I guess at that point.

My dad get right into it.

It was about it was about it was about hating the Midwest and and my dad dying. And I remember my I did a like my second year in, I did like a tournament at the Jukebox comedy club and I came in second, and I was like, oh, sorry.

The point of the story is I was halfway there. I was driving.

It was two hours to get to the juke Box. An hour into the drive, my brother called and said my dad died. And then I kept going and I did the contest.

Oh my god, now.

And I was on the second place, and I remember everybody was like congratulations, Like you just started and you got to take a place.

And I was like crying, like my dad died, Like it didn't.

You fucking did it anywhere? And yeah, just like a lot of things and a lot of us. I think I was doing stand up like that trying to to think about my dad.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was just like this is a new focus for me and and trying not to I had postparted him. I didn't know that till after. Like I just was just like I put everything in the stand up, you know.

And he do feel guilt. My mom died in between shows, Uh.

Went a whole stories like this crazy.

Show went so well. I felt guilty, Like I felt bad. I felt like it should have not gone well or I should have mad.

But I was like, if he didn't not I would have got first place.

Yeah, that's the third stitch of learning playing.

It makes perfect sense to me, and probably I bet a lot of people because when something that monumental happens to you, you don't know what, you don't know what to do, but you already had your plan in place of what you want to do.

Me not going it's not going to make him not dead, you know.

And you have this thing you're doing that like there really is something about I've found, especially when I first started stand up, it was this accomplishment that really fucking.

I needed it. I needed to feel like I can do a thing other people can't do.

I can do a thing people are afraid to do.

Yeah, and man, the whole housewife thing, if that's not your bag, it's torture.

Yeah.

Like, So for me to go from making my own money and working into such a fabulous environment or Lates wool was fabulous to me at that time.

I was very young then I got too much personal information. But anyway, I having.

Kids very I had my relationship, relationships and kids. I don't know why I put an s on that, but relationship and kids very young, and so to just be in the Midwest as a housewife being taken care of by someone, but it just wasn't me. It still isn't me, you know what I mean. So I was very fucked. It was a real mindfuck period of my life. And so stand up gave me, yeah, like freedom, a purpose, a.

Gold, gold, a whole new crew of.

White boys I had never hung out with in my life and I'm still funk with them. Drift if you're listening, that's my boy anyway, from the comedy The Jew.

By Tommy Club. He's his mom used to be a stripper at the club next door.

Oh yeah, yeahber and he would and yeah you remember drift, I may I remember the Strip Club Club.

Strip Club is right next door.

His mom used to be a stripper there, and so the waitresses in the jukebox used to babysit him, and then he started doing comedy. That's I just loved everything and just I mean I just stand up in like sundown town's you know where they're like, you got to get out of here by six, Like, no, take the money. I've done, stand up to like rooms full of white people that know, laughter, no sound, just dad staring at me.

Yeah, Yeah, they're big muscles, big developed in that ship.

Yeah yeah, I'm always thankful I started in Texas because you're right, when I would go to these open mics as I mean, it was twenty years ago, but I like, when would I otherwise be in the room with all these there's like a redneck guy and yeah, old.

There was a lot of older.

Comics when I started, and I became friends with them, and I don't think I otherwise would have ever even.

Seen so many people. I mean, comedy is like that period. I think, yeah, would we have ever met? Right and you and we would have met.

I'm friends with so many people that I would have never even been in the same room with ever in life, because of it's great.

It's great, it's so fun.

It makes it's that vibe at festivals when everyone's standing around and kind of like having a beer and staring at each other, and it's that thing of like we all got in the door in that way, we paid that ticket of our actor or whatever, and so we have a thing in comments, like even if I haven't talked to you yet, we have something in common that's like we're all, Oh.

You're needy just like me, you need a class, you're running from something, broke, can't stop talking, can't stop jamaking jokes, both the same level of poor, like it's all uh, it's all great. Are you on the wagon or off the wagon?

Like it's all.

Everything that Anyway, when I went back, I was on a show on True and so for I think I had True TV for a year and I remember you you were on some show on there where they act out your bit oh yeah, last tracks okay, yeah, and they made us.

So much money for that. That's I was blown away.

That's surprising to me, exactly one that didn't see another thing.

That's the other thing about comedy.

You do the the Mark Twain blah blah blah, and they're like, oh, we're gonna give you a stipend of five dollars and then a fucking Elvis impersonation show with some ships like grand.

That was one of those things where he was like, well, how much you know?

Yes, I just really I really related dear bit about being embarrassed for people when they sing to you, or being seren the embarrassment you feel for others that you had a few other examples. I don't remember the wedding proposal.

I get a lot of.

Yeah, the public wedding, nothing now that or even if somebody if a guy comes in and he tries to do that international thing where he kisses people's cheeks and curl up in a friends I'm so embarrassed. And it's things that people do. But that's my favorite thing to focus on earth stand up about.

Of course, I'm one of those people who reads the comments, so I get so much shit for that. Of course, man projecting on me like she must not have a man and she must not love love. And first of all, I've been sung to and proposed to and all those shits.

Yeah, the point is all the shit point many a man has loved me, first of all. But the point of that joke was.

I'm saying it from the standpoint of a woman who this is a total surprise. Yeah, And it's just I just think it's bad vibes to put somebody on a spot like that. Yeah, yeah, And so I always get embarrassed. It's just like girl, no, like, even if you are into it, this isn't somebody who would do that without knowing it's something you want. It's not somebody you want to marry, is the point of the joke. But you know, people take what they well.

It depends also on how Like my friend Henry, when he sings, it's a version of him. He's not a different person when he pulls out a guitar and sings or when Karen does it.

I like it.

But but when someone like they're talking like this and then they're like, well, I wrote a song for you, and then they're like, hey, all of a sudden their voice changes. My thing I can't.

I think that's my thing. Is the eye contact.

Oh yeah, like where I say in the joke.

What do what do I do with my face? Am I supposed to like gaze at you or like look away?

It's just I can't give you.

And also how do you not laugh? How do you do not laugh?

You look down? But you sing to me?

I am going to do a full investigation of your shoes.

Yeah, shoes.

But just like anything, it's like, well, if it was like, you know whatever, hot singer of the day, then maybe I would love it.

It's all in the context, but it's.

Not you, Brett, not you personally, not you.

Well we should let you go. Yet she was celebrating.

But it was a good episode.

I know that Yang.

Exactly exactly I did it. I wasn't boring or or you know whatever.

Not only not only we're not boring. We got lots of personal information.

Oh no, your business.

No, you were very good at not not giving too much away?

Oh the podcast where people have dug deep and they're like in twenty twenty two you said.

Yeah, interrogation lamp on you.

Yeah.

I just listened to a podcast recently that I did and I loved it.

But it was one of those things where I was just like I had to stop, and I was just like, I have to stop podcasting.

Yeah, I'm just modeling.

You just get it's a very intoxicating thing when you're a narciss My.

Thing is you're not going to get that info for free. You'll get my tell all or my yeah memoir.

That's some pariod right here exactly.

Sh It's my real thoughts on that.

You're so, you're how many episodes of you and Danger Girl are?

I think it's not money, but they're all that's there is amazing, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, but I really sounded that everyone should listen.

Yeah, my BA was great guest. Oh twenty three episode? Wow, I did twenty three episodes.

It's already in my back. I don't stick with anything, guys. So I'm telling you.

That's how many Karen and I used to do in the year sometimes.

Wow. Yeah, I'm shocked.

Myself, but I was really I really did it with the goal of doing something that was just purely funny. Like I felt like everyone is not everyone, but it's even all comedians are like political comedians now and explain the news to me and a jingle, and I just I wanted to do something where I'm laughing with my friends. I only interview people that I talk to all the time so that it flows very naturally.

I'm not trying to be funny.

Like I've had people on who I just kind of know, but they're kind of famous, and then the conversation is.

Just like, oh, you know what I mean.

So I've decided I'm not going to do one of those like, oh they're famous, let me have them on.

Yeah, and I have the same yeah.

Yeah, it's too much more people you want to talk to and not that day I'm funny.

But I found and again, with fame, famous people have to watch what they're saying. Yeah, it's not their fault, it's their listener's fault for always listening everything, you know what I mean, And so you could just see them like censoring themselves, and I was just like ah, and so those things, those episodes I haven't even put them out.

I'll scrap them well. Get ready, now good enough? That's how good This podcast is only the best of the best.

This is high level pop.

I've watched whole movies for no reason.

I don't even put it out Anyway, you'll enjoy.

It's a fun podcast and I'm proud of it.

I have to break it to you, Jane, but you're gonna be famous. It's gonna be a lot.

Get Ready.

I'm so glad we got you before your skyrockets to thank you.

Oh yeah, thank you so much for being here with us today.

Definitely gonna have to get some press training.

Yeah, congrats, congrats.

I'm talking about my pussy on the view of something.

Please let that that'd be the next big moment.

Early in the morning.

It has to.

Thanks for being Thank you so much for having me. You've been listening to. Do you need a ride?

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