S2 - Ep. 54 - Kara Klenk

Are you leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay a.

We want to send you off InStyle. We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine? Now? Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need ride? This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Tilgareth.

We are transmitting to you via zoom maybe one of the last times. I mean, we're coming up soon, we will be in the car. I'm counting down the days to where we're back in the car.

I can't wait to be back in the car so much, only because I feel like being in the car.

Is the third lead of this podcast. Yeah, I mean.

It is what sparked most of our conversation. I'm realizing now because now we're just going back to the same things we used to drive by. You know, people getting in fights at bus stops, nearer accidents, laws, so many times we were threatened and it then sparked wonderful conversation where we saw eye to eye or we gotten a heated discussion about whether or not the person should have been threatening us.

So much.

Yeah, but now we do it all ourselves the way everyone else has to in quarantine.

It's diy good time, just talking in circles, referencing the same things we did last time. We're all going crazy, that's right. And today our guest to go crazy with us and.

For us is a great comedian who is truly one of my favorite performers to watch.

And she has just started her.

Own podcast on the Exactly Right Network called That's Messed Up, a Law and Order SVU podcast, which is already a hit. So please everybody welcome Kara Klank.

Oh, thank you guys. So great to be here. I'm not going to try to replace the third character that is the car, but I'm going to do what I can on.

Just think car thoughts as we all dig into this.

Yeah it just if I think of you as a car, I think of the car character that which is teen wheels.

Is it teen wheels? I can't? Yeah, the one you posted a horrifying gift of.

Yes, yes, it's a human, a teenager. I don't know if it happens when he gets upset or just he has control over it. He has trouble turning back into a teenager, but he turns into his car.

I think it's when he gets a boner, he turns into it. I think, yeah, that's what it was. It was hard for them to be a first, to wait for it to pass before he came back into it.

This was a soft core cartoon.

Yeah, Saturday morning, softcore animated porn for kids. This kid would get turned off and then his letterman jacket would slowly rip away and he'd become a trans am.

And children everywhere. I actually am having a vague memory of this. Chris the Show, Yes it is it? Turbotine? Yes, yeah, rotine wheels or turbotine. It is turbotine, Karen, turbotine. I think you're exactly right.

Or was that my Christian group that I belong to? Your high I can't remember the turbotines.

I can't.

We've talked about our love God. It's turbocharge.

Yeah, that would be the ultimate dinarch cast.

I have to make it an admission that I feel very embarrassed about because I've described you before, Kara as one of those people that if I walk into a party and see you, I'm so fucking relieved and I know I have an anchor and a.

Place to go, so so I feel it's this compliment.

I feel close to you, and you also remind me of many of my cousins, So I just feel like that thing of like I already know you, but every time I go to say your name, and your name is the beginning of my fucking name. And yet every time a voice in my head goes it might be Kara. It might be every single time, and I think, now I've known you.

For eight years.

Yeah, yeah, that's really I just want to pre apologize and just I want to put it out there because it is has turned into like Georgia at one point.

It's just like it's Kara like Karen, where I'm like, I know, I know, that is so funny. It is truly your name minus like two letters. But yeah, a lot of people know Akara, so then it's just hard to switch it.

Do you know.

Kara's yep, I sure do. Yeah, that's my husband's manager. Is Carra spelled the exact same way as mine. And I'll tell you something. She got us a baby gift for our child, very nice, but we just didn't need it. So I went on Amazon. I talked to the chat guy and I was like, I just want to return that. She's not gonna, know, right, she's not gonna because we have the same name. They emailed her being like here are the items you returned? Oh no, and it's like,

So arras see, I get the same anxiety with your last name. I know it's clink and I want to say clank like I'm a talking pot and or pan.

Yeah it is an atom monopoetic last name.

Yeah, I think you could say clankrever you want.

And honestly, I think when I was younger, I was like it's Kara, and now I truly don't care, like especially like a brit like a British person being like, hell, Okara, I love that, you know? Yeah, yeah, you guys, you know who you are. It's the pandemic. Call me whatever you want.

All I have to do is do me and be like say your own fucking name and don't finish it.

That's all you have to do it's all. Just start calling care from now on, like just you don't have to deal with the end of it.

Make up make up a weird funny nickname, if I may, we could actually since it is the holiday season, because Hanukkah did start last night. Yes, well I don't know when, not for when we posted this, but for when we're recording it. Yes, but that reminds me of my most humiliating gift thing that ever happened, which was when I worked on the Ellen Show. They used to give us presents, you know, really nice end of the year presence, and this one year was it was like when iPods.

It was like and the iPod that was really thick.

It almost looked like it was like a little rectangle that was probably half an inch wide, like a wheel that actually moved.

Yes, yes, that one, okay.

And it was like at the time, very advanced technology, very exciting, and we used to get so many free things, especially I did on that show that I had like a closet of electronics that I would just pull stuff down and wrap it to give people gifts. And so it was my friend Nancy Vezzi's baby shower and I adored her. She was the best. And I didn't know any of her friends. I was one of the separate friends. And it was this beautiful baby shower at shutters in

I thought it was the perfect gift.

She opens it up, she loves it, turns it over.

It has the Ellen logo of god, it was a special edition. Yeah, I thought I was going to doe coincidence that I work on that show and I got the special edition Ellen iPod from this fancy Ellen fan. She didn't care. She Ellen right, she did.

She worked on Kimmel. Everyone there worked in TV. They knew exactly what I did. They it was a blatant gree gift public and in front of strangers, where I just kept staring at Nancy because I was like, I'm so sorry, because like, I really love it. I honestly do. I don't care, I really love it. I was just like, I'm this is the worst day of my life.

Yeah, that is embarrassing, but that's still an iPod, and let's not forget who else loves iPods babies and that baby didn't care when it was rocking to it's toddler tunes.

To the Eagle's greatest hits, which all babies love, Babies want to be born in Hotel.

California, Guess who has a baby here has a baby?

Not us, It's oh, it's me. Yeah.

Last time I was, Last time I was in the car, I was like about to pop. I feel like I was. I was a couple weeks away from bringing this baby into the world. And now here she is repeating everything I say, including oh fuck all the time.

Yoh, that's that and that'll go away if you if you didn't know when.

To say it. I mean, she just kind of says it. I hear just saying it walking up and down the hallway.

She too.

Now she's going to be two in April, so she's twenty months. If you're on the whole counting months thing, and we are, and.

Yeah, you guys, I know I do it by weeks. Yeah, yeah, I'm very specific. Does a two year old walk?

Yeah?

Oh she motors everywhere?

Oh that well she's not she's not even too but she's been walking since she was like a little over a year.

Yeah, of course, on the course. Even I walked it too, and I was not a little bit.

You know, kids have all different milestones, but I had an early a regular walker.

She walked at a regular time. She's in the ninetieth percentile though, I can feel it. I wait.

Yes, I was gifted with things like math and reading, but I was a late pants shitter. So you know every kid has their different Yeah, you know, we.

Got her a little toilet.

She takes it out, she sits on it with her clothes on, and that's it. She's not really no, she's not into the hole.

She's like she gets paper for that. Yeah, she clearly gets it.

Yeah, even if a kid is sitting on that toilet with pants on and shitting their pants on the toilet seated position, that's still a win.

I think, Yeah, that's get it. It's going in the right direction. Yeah, she's not like, she's not over.

Yeah, you don't want one of these kids that immediately sticks their head in the toilet because you know they're going to be a drunk.

I used to stand in the toilet, oh because like yeah, because I kind of could like it would be like, well, this isn't.

An interesting like my feet are in water? You always wanted to be on stage? Care? Is this funny? Is this something? I mean? Am I right?

This is not common what I'm doing right now. I just remember getting caught one time. My Dad's like, what the hell are you doing? But I was just like, it's funny, it's fun. Come on, doef any like any things like that of whiz that she's blown you away or shocked you or done like a kid thing.

Just honestly, she just started like really really talking like two months ago, and now we just have full conversations and it's really it's really wild.

But I will I'll tell like an embarrassing little story.

I did buy a bottle of like cbdt h see lube because somebody told me that would be fun.

Okay, So I just I got it a long time ago.

I don't even think I've used it much, And it was just in my bedside table. She loves to go through my bedside table. I think one time she probably heard me quietly say to my husband Jared, she's got the lube. Now she comes out of the bedroom constantly waving it around going lube.

Oh that's the best.

She hears like the littlest things that we say one time and just you know, so anyway, and now everybody knows about my lube and mylube loving baby.

Yes, these tin these thin Los Angeles walls, Yeah, they hear all the wrong things.

I mean, she definitely heard me say it in front of her, like oh yeah, yeah, to please.

Her little ear to the door.

Yeah, she's like, you now have to start putting everything up high, like in a shoe box in the corner of the back of the thousand everything.

But my husband, you know Jared, You guys know Jared Logan, and he is, like you nerd. He plays, He plays role playing games. So he has like a ton of dice, and she's obsessed with dice. She just walks around. When I go into her room in the morning, she goes play dice, play dice, like first day. So she's either going to be a nerd or a gambling addict.

I don't know, a street Yeah, she'd be playing craps on the corner. Yes. Yeah. Do you guys miss Vegas? Uh?

I miss anything. I literally miss anything you could name. Yeah, public other people's bad decisions anything.

You're right.

I usually think about Vegas and I'm like, no, thank you pretty much to all of it. But I would love right now to be in an unclean pool, swimming up to a bar and talking to someone with bad breath.

That's a DJ I would love you from Arizona. Yeah, incredible. He happen to be from Phoenix.

I would be if I right now could play that Willy Wonka slot machine. And I don't know if anyone's played Willy Wonka, but I think I would stare at it like a cockatile looking in the mirror, like it would be so entertaining to me.

At this point of like the Lily Wonka machine.

Yeah, all of it, anything, just the care free touching of buttons and money and bumping, never people looking back.

Yeah I would.

I mean, even like the disgusting smoking, I'd be like, well, what do we do?

We're all sharing a common space now, So.

Yeah, I used to, like I didn't even I wasn't that into smoking, but I used to dabble with it, and I thought it was so cool that you could smoke in an elevator.

And I don't miss that.

I don't guess that, but I almost would take it just for the interaction.

I would just see. I did smoke the elevator.

I did smoke for quite a while, and I was still always grossed out by like the special places you were allowed to smoke.

Like when you're allowed to smoke in Vegas. I was always like, I can't.

And then those little I when I was younger, and like travel to Europe and there were those little boxes in the airport where you can.

Go, oh my god.

Once I went in there. One time I went in there, I was like, it can't be that bad. And I took like one dragon was like this isn't you. We'll get out of here.

And you're in like a human aquarium. It's just people walk by judging you. I used to when I smoked, I would be in the Salt Lake City had one up to the last, like when you could no longer have cigarettes and bars, you could still just for the novelty of it.

I remember smoking in there and.

You would just be with the dredges of society and everyone judge you.

Sadly looking at the ground like smoking. Oh god, gotta do it, gotta gotta kick that habit. Yeah, me too, me too. Can't believe I ever did it.

That's a well, you know, it's like it's one of those I feel like it's a holdover thing where like I remember forcing myself to start smoking freshman year of college in the dorms because a friend of ours, our friend Julian, got a job giving a tae making poles, giving away samples of things and taking of people's opinions. And one of the products that he was doing that with were Capri cigarettes very thin.

We love sor oh right love. We would take pictures of ourselves smoking Caprice.

Oh my god, totally like they were basically like the girl's entry level cigarette. So we were like, he gave us like five cartons of Caprice, so we were just like, here we go, we're gonna start smoking.

We would just force ourselves. We hated it, and we would force ourselves to do it. It was f funny, that cigarette that somehow makes you think you're on a diet.

Yes, it was.

It was so dainty and like, I don't know, we thought it was like very seventies.

We were like, we would like put on chain links, sunglasses and smoke Capris like we just thought it was so cool.

The actual smoke itself it was almost like there was no tobacco inities to say, it felt like you were smoking rolled up binder paper.

It was as juvenile as cigarette hurting my lungs. There's nothing now, this might be good for me. Actually I'm not sure there's vitamin D in here. It was ridiculous. Yeah, I don't. I love it. Then you're addicted. Yeah, thanks Skipriz. Yeah, everyone thinks they're above being addicted. For years, I would be like, no, I don't. I don't. I never buy them. So if I'm not handing over money for these things, I clearly don't have an addiction. I'd said that to

I got if there was a place that you could go right now, if you had quarantine broken, reality was broken. If you were in Australia right now and you could do whatever you wanted, what do you What place would you like to go?

What would you like to do? It would be your first kind of celebratory thing. I would love to go to a movie. Yeah, I really just would love to go to a movie. But also for me, it's like, you know, part of why I guess you like seeing me at parties is because I fucking love parties. Like I would just go to a party. So if you're not a.

Bunch of my friends over to Australia, then I don't I'm not really doing the thing I really want to be, Like, I really just want to go to a party where I know, like a bunch of people and just have a bunch of conversations. But I kind of want life to get normal for a little while before the first big party, so that there's some gossip to talk about. What are we going to talk about when we all first get back to the first party, be like how is your quarantine?

Like, I mean, what are we gonna are?

You freaked out to me too, I lost my feel weird, Like, yeah, that's gonna be the whole time. So I guess I'm excited for the second party. Where where after the first party, when a bunch of people get drunk and fuck totally random people that they normally never would and then it's real, it's not even gossip. Then it's like analytical discussion of socio political action.

Maybe I was that.

Scary the other day how I had not been to a house party. It's like it's it feels like it's been years. And then I realized it had been years. And I can't blame that on quarantine. I have to blame it on my unpopular area. It's that's sometimes because it's not your own popularity. I think it's because you live a little bit far. I don't know if you still live where you live.

I'm not going to say it, but like I used to think, I used to invite you to stuff and be like, oh, but he lives out there, he's not going to come.

I moved, and yeah, it did change a little.

I moved to Echo Park, and I do feel like I'm a little more in the mix and I will like walk down the street and see people I know rather than retired boat captains.

So that has changed.

But I yeah, I just think that in general, prior to all this, there weren't a lot of people having parties at their houses anymore.

Something changed.

There's a lot of these, hey, let's meet at a bar am I just hanging out with cheap people.

Well, or maybe people just didn't feel like putting in the effort, but that you did. Just I had just moved into my house and I was like, Okay, I need to have like my first core party where people where I'm testing it out of like is this even gonna work? And then after my first party, I was like, oh, I truly called our assistant, like our executive assistant who works at the network, and I was like, I need you to help me start planning monthly parties at my house and we're.

Gonna put a guest together and we're gonna do this.

And like I had this whole party like year of twenty twenty party plan where I was gonna have a monthly party, a rotating list all my people that wouldn't know each other, and it would be dinner with salons. Yes, yeah, exactly, and I really was gonna do it, and I was like it was one of my favorite New Year's resolutions.

And now I'm just like fucking get ready after that vaccine.

I'm like, I'm gonna grow my hair to like some crashing parties you passed by.

I can't wait. Yeah, truly, and they strange gowns and like what's up.

And they're going to be like, come on in, you're a person, we miss you, stranger, Yes, tell us a story. It was funny though, the first party you had, you you made so much food and you were pulling something out of the oven and you had like an apron on.

I'm like, this is great. Are you having fun? And You're like, no, no, not yet. You were like working the whole time. Yeah. See, it was nervous. You were entertaining. Yeah, it's the last party we had.

We had a party for my husband's fortieth and we did I did a taco truck specifically because I was like, if I don't do something where the food is not is out of my hands, I will be pulling Trader Joe's apps out of the oven all fucking night and I am miserable and I will eventually get drunk and burn myself.

So I just like had to do it for myself and it's the best.

I mean, look, it was a special occasion. I'm not going to get like a food truck and everything. It's expensive, but like you know, it was the best to not have to work the food.

It was so great and people love it because then they kind of don't have to worry about it either, like they're not it's not that thing where Well, this is actually one of my favorite memories, Chris. I think you were at this party at my old house, so this would have been easily five years ago or more. I had a Christmas party and I was making my mom. My mom had this appetizer that was like her secret you know, her secret weapon appetizer, and all it is is.

All it is is the Kraft Green Parmesan cheese.

You mix equal parts of that and mayonnaise until it's like a no Then you put it on You slice up a baguette and put it on top of the little rounds of baguette, and then you put it in the broiler for literally like two minutes, so it browns on the top and it's boiling hot, and no one knows it's just those two ingredients. So they eat it and they think it's so like tart and cheesy but creamy and delicious. Literally, people at this party, Chris, do

I'm like, no, that's from the broiler.

You're gonna people just take it into their mouth and they were so drunk and then they'd like two seconds later like holy shit, and they were like scalding their mouth and they didn't care.

Couldn't make them fast enough. It was hilarious. I am of so trying that recipe. That sounds fucking amazing.

It's really delicious, but you have to make it like in a side room or in a pantry so people can't see because it's really disgusting the actual ingredients.

Me.

Now, I go, is it a dip? Like would you eat that raw?

No?

You dip fried mac and cheese balls into it. Honestly, Mayo gets away with a lot with me. I really love it. I feel like, you know, you could just kind of put out Mayo and I'm like, that's good fun.

I see it's funny because I just set sight of it. I think, I say it overnight, just once and it becomes transparent by morning. Yes, yeah, that was an experiment that happened accidentally, and I've always just I think as a kid it made me gag once and so but anytime it's in something you can trick me into.

Thinking, yeah, yeah, that's the try to like a good grilled cheese or something is like musing mayo because it has a because instead of butter, it has like a lower burn threshold or something like that. Yea, I think that's like a Martha Stewart thing. Honestly, I haven't tried it, but.

Karen was like, I don't think so well with the mayo I had well, and this I know, I've told this story on this podcast. The other thing is Chris and I were into repeating things for the fiftieth time.

Now, but I haven't heard it, so let's go. Yeah, exactly.

My mom used to moisturize her hair every Sunday night by putting mayonnaise in her hair and then wrapping like either a plastic bag shower capper, like some ran wrap around it, so she would reek of like sitting mayonnaise. And she always had really long seventies nails, so the mayonnaise would be under her fingernails until she rinsed the

Mayonnaise was upsetting to me.

I thought that mayonnaise and like egg whites, was how you know a white kid in college got dreadlocks.

I thought mayonnaise was the key to dreads? Was your mom putting in your heads? What'd you say? Was your mom grown out her dreads?

I thought you said, should I get dressed? Should I get dreads? And then we were like, I've been putting coconut oil in my hair? I don't know, No, that's finny.

I always was told because I have really thick hair, and like when it would get dry, people were like, have you tried mayonnaise?

And I never did it, but I was told him about it. My mom swore by it. But it's like then I think it as a food ruins mayonnaise.

Oh my gosh, Chris, I said, yes, you recently online and I was like it is and this is, this is it's been in a hat.

I don't even think I knew you had curly hair. This is yeah, none of us did because always been pretty short. Wow, yeah, I don't.

I think if you're gonna try dreads, now's the time I know was gonna judge me.

My plan. Get some Mayo tomorrow. Let's see what you can do. Let me dust off this uh by Mayo And I'm like, put Mayo on anything. I love it. That's a solution to everything. Hairstyles, moisturizing, sandwich.

Wowa really has the progress Chris's hair has made during this quarantine. Like we've been kind kind of tracking it on the show, and this is it's now next level. You're starting to look like Shaka Khan. Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying to and it it is.

You look like it is riddled with coconut oil, as I said, And I've been wearing hats and tight like dew rags at night and it keeps it.

But it's still it cannot be tamed.

If I if I had like teased it and put stuff in it, it would be people would laugh when I passed. So I'm trying to make it not comedic, but get to the point where I can just put it all into a ponytail. That's my new I never thought that would be a goal, but I want to have a pony.

So is that the goal?

Are you just trying to grow it as long as you can or you obviously you're not going to a barbershop because of COVID, but you're not.

You're not like, oh maybe I'll buzz at myself or anything like that.

No.

I went to a private hair cutting situation an E. G. Money fan of the podcast Cut just cut the cause it grows in different areas. Your hair will like grow in in the areas that where your brain works better or something.

I think that was it Like the back of your head grows more than the top.

It is.

It's it's low snopast. It helps it right now, see everyone's gonna look it up. It's yeah, the back, the back of your scalp grows faster. So I had to have like I had to have it taken in a little but not a lot of length, just to reshaping, if you will. What's coming up on snopes and also what is Snopes?

It's the website where you can check if things are right. You've never heard of that, it's not.

Yeah, I have, I just never asked. I thought it was a version of Jeeves no no, and the part of your head. How do I ask the question? How does your hair grow longer in different places? I think that's what he said based on brain activity. I'm going to go that far.

There's no reason to believe this is all about hair length. Oh, it's a website called Eddie's haircutsshave dot com.

Oh, what's Eddie? No, Eddie knows.

There's no reason to believe that hair grows faster on the sides or top of your head at all. But some may notice that the hair on the left side of their head grows faster if they sleep on their left side of their body or right side.

But that's just Eddie.

We don't I maybe I listened to half of that and thought, well, I'm a left brained person. Clearly, that's why the left side of my hair, because it was the left side was twice the size if I had let it keep going.

I cut hair off this side and left this side.

I do know that people with curly hair, curly hair is grows faster than straight that's why it's curly.

It's growing fast.

Oh really, that's what I've been told that by people that I don't think we're lying to me, but who knows in this world.

Yeah, it's happening everywhere. My eyebrows become a retired math professor.

Just everywhere. I don't it's just happening. I'm okay with it.

I like you.

I think it's like a new persona for you, they professor or something.

Yeah, anything to where I don't have to try as hard to write jokes. See that guy that acts like himself with funny hair.

I love him.

He's so I don't know, funny for no reason. He doesn't care what anybody thinks about him. I guess it's like he is an individual and that's what I like on stage.

But little do they know. I care so much what everyone thinks of him, Way too much.

Wait, now, I know Chris has But Kara, have you been doing stand up like internet stand up shows? Oh gosh.

At the beginning, I did like a couple, and I did a couple.

I did like one with Jared where we did like a bit, you know, and then nothing for months, and then two weeks ago I did Hot Tub with Curt and Chris, and Kurt actually had to be gone, so I sort of hosted with kristin a little bit. So that was fun, but I was just reading thoughts out of my phone like it was like, I just it

Did a special by myself on a stage, which felt cool. It was like an actual stage and people were on zoom and I thought I'd be able to hear them, but quickly realized I would not, and it made me. It made me do seventy five minutes. You know that whole thing where you're like, I can't get off until I get it here a laugh, even if I know it's not going to happen. I'm just going to never happen,

Out a sweating really hard to Like, I mean, I'm in front of my laptop with like a ring light.

I'm just boiling, like yeah, yeah, I mean I haven't done it. I haven't.

I'm so far past even doing stand up. It feels like these days. But when in real life, in the back in the day when I really did care so much about stand up, and I would be on stage and there would be silence. I turned on the audience, so I was so unprofessional and so like not in it for the game of like how do you turn this around? It would just be immediately like yeah, well

It, yeah, because like I was like, that's yeah.

And I was running a show for a really long time at like UCB Sunset and God willing it makes it through the pandemic, but just not a good venue. Just not a good venue. The people are far from you, it's weirdly lit. It's just like first stand up, I stand by.

It's not a good venue.

And I was just hosting a show there every Monday, where I'd be like, hey, fuckers.

You guys are gonna hate us again, Like yeah, yeah, it's like so I am there too.

So eventually they were like we're gonna close down on Mondays. And I wasn't even like can I get another night?

I was like bye so much I was like, ah good, I can't.

Like yeah, it's like if you just have bad audience after bad it audience. And I hate to blame the audience, but sometimes I do think it's like the space.

You know, very often it's the audience's fault.

And the way that audience there specifically is set up is clearly for a different vibe.

Because it was a beautiful place.

Yes, and that they the those strange front cist pieces that would block, so you couldn't their faces were dimmed because of the way the lighting was, and then you couldn't really see the bodies, so it looked like a bunch of like box seats at the opera of people who hated you, people who.

Were like every single person at my show acted like someone told them this was a Universal Studios tour.

Yes, and they're just.

Finding out that it's not. And I would be like, you guys, knew what you were coming in here for. It says stand up comedy show. Like they would all just be like the crowd work was like pulling fucking teeth?

Was it was?

But I will say, in case you know, I don't know, one of the UCB people is listening, Frank Franklin is an amazing space.

I do love that. Yeah, I love it. I miss it.

I think about it, and hopefully much like a smoker in an elevator, where you are going to miss audiences so much that I will I will just be happy to be in front of a judgment.

Oh my gosh, Should I do.

A show for two couples that like I If they leave the show's over, I'm going to be really giving them everything I have.

Yeah, I know that I'm going to appreciate audiences more. I gotta keep reminding myself to appreciate every single audience.

The drunk is even in just a Southern drunken dad. No offense to the South.

But that's where I remember when we when we first started doing business class at the Improv Lob, Chris and there would be there. It was basically a bunch of people who listened to our podcast and listen to my favorite Murder would come. But they didn't know how to be a comedy audience. So no matter what was happening, they were stone silent, like they were like they thought, this is how you respectfully watch comedy.

To watch it do stand up the way I watch them when I'm driving my car.

I had gotten used to it, I really, and now I just look at faces and I see the silent, smiling joy and I'm really, it's been good for me to not have to depend on audible laughter.

Yeah, interesting that.

It is funny that kind of like they But we were lucky because the same people came back a bunch, and so then we started getting this core people who knew what to do and knew how to do it, and they would kind.

Of lead, you know what I mean.

So it wasn't but those first couple shows was shocking where I'm like, why did we ever agree to do this?

This is the worst idea. And then it's just like, oh yeah, no, no, it's that people just want to observe. Yeah, like, and that's.

Better than the I think a lot of the Lab audience, which is people that didn't get into the show in the main room, are disappointed to be watching you.

Yes, yeah, yeah, that's oh my god. That was always the Lab.

Also, there is a show in San Francisco that was in a theater without a microphone, and I was horrified the first time I did it, but you had to and figured it out within ten minutes, project your voice like you were in a sketch group at UCB, like and all of a sudden, we just need.

A suggestion from the audience.

Right.

There was that.

Also, it became a dialogue with the audience. All of a sudden, I'm gesticulating, I'm using my hands, I'm not holding I've never known I feel so powerless when I'm pulling a mic out of a mic stand. And then you got to hold the mic all of a sudden I'm talking. I thought I didn't even like how that looked.

When a comic's doing stand up on a late night show and they don't have a mic, I'm like, oh, I need the mic, but you don't. You get used to it, and then all of a sudden, you're doing this theater diaphragm joke telling yes, yeah, most it's my one man show. Yeah, yeah it did. It felt like, oh, I'm a performing entertainer. This has become high art.

This is reminding me of my friend who lives in North Carolina asked me to come down. She's like, my company will pay you to come down and do their Christmas party. And I was like, all right, they're.

Gonna fly me down there.

I get to visit my friend because I never just pop on down to North Carolina really, you know. So it's like the company, do they're financial? Okay, yeah, I think it's going to be like a big thing. It's thirty people. It's in the back room at Amagiano's.

I had said. They had asked me a million times, what.

Do you need?

I go just a microphone. I just stean in a microphone, Oh, wireless or any microphone. I just Dan a microphone. They only brought a love mic, so I talked, Oh my god, I was so uncomfortable not using a microphone, even though I absolutely could have projected to thirty people in a private room Atmagianos that I held a tiny mouse sized microphone in front of my mouth and did stand up into it.

Yeah, any mic five minutes, Yeah, any like even a microphone that you'd see in a dollhouse.

Just bring it.

Yeah, exactly how detailed do you need a description of a microphone that you're gonna fuck it up that badly?

Like this is not a c Span book group? Like what are you doing?

And then I had to and then I stayed after and they all said they enjoyed it, and then I had to do their white elephant with them.

I had to do it like a grab bag with them. That would actually be fun.

I would love, like an office gift exchange would actually be a funny, hilarious thing to host.

Every time someone opens a present, you're like, is there a microphone in there?

Can I have it? I'll trade you.

I love the idea that it's like, hey, everybody's was everybody doing?

And then I point the tiny mic, so my mom's Italian and my dad's Irish because I'm a drunk everybody doing you people in the back. Oh god, I.

Would want like Gallagher perk too, to have like the Janet Jackson microphone where it's on a little stem like you're, oh yeah, exceptionist.

Yeah, And then you just start telling people how to lose weight. You can do this, will you can?

I'll do it? Love life, body image, money, These are all things I don't all connected.

Magnetize success, control and then you just go into the control dance routine.

Do you if that makes me think?

So?

Would you say that's your worst gig ever? Or do you want to tell a story of your worst gig?

And that's my most specific it's not the worst. But I just don't think. I think I maybe have blocked out worst gigs. I mean, I've definitely done shows for like two people where no one responds. I you know, I've done bad shows, but I can't think of like anything super awkward and horrible besides that one. Off the top of my head. I really should have a better story of that. But I'm letting you down right now, and I apologize.

No, no, you're not.

I can tell you when I just off the top and I a thousand of these because I did colleges for oh yes, yeah, and that those are all basically bad. Like it's like it's a nooner in the cafeteria and they're.

All wearing pja pants, they all look tired, they look like someone dragged them there.

Yes, they they're forced, and yet at the same time you're in a cafeteria, so there's nothing about it as show business y. And there was one that actually wasn't going that bad until the end when it was like the final ten minutes, a team of some kind I don't remember, it was either the football team or the basketball team were just got done with their I was gonna say, rehearsal, the rehearsal, and so they came in for the end of my set and I one of

This guy goes, uh, that's fucked up.

My mom is a cheerleader, and the whole room went insane, and then I just went that, you know what, that's my closer good night everybody, and I like let him close the show. It was so fucking funny. I was like, I'm not going to be able to beat that. Wait, I know what my closer is. It's not funnier than what that guy just said, So I'm going to leave on his joke.

And then he literally got on stage and finished the show. Or did he He just kept talking about his mom.

No, no, no, he his joke of his mom. Yeah, like pretending to be offended because his mother is a cheerleader. I was just like, and that's our show, ladies and gentlemen, thanks so much.

Get ended day.

The thing about these college shows too, is like it's really only like freshmen that go, I feel like most of the time, because they're the ones that still go to like the organized activities at the school provides and a lot of times you go in the fall. So they've all just been in college for like four weeks. They're all still looking at their friends like do we think this is funny?

I don't know.

I'm trying to reinvent myself here, like you know, like no, I don't want to miss step and then be the nerd in the dorm.

So it's so awkward, and I just it's the awkwardness I think is palpable in those cafeterias. Oh, lighting is horrendous. You think like you'd be sitting there and you'd be like, oh, here comes some audience. But it's just like dudes going to get chips.

Like yeah, and again my own insecurity. It's the only chance for a student to be attacked for simply doing her homework, like, why are you? It's my only time in between class I have a test. It's like, oh, okay, I made this all about me. I thought you sorry.

I'm just trying to get a joke going.

Yeah, I'm in the place where you study, and a comedian was thrust upon you.

Yes, I did a show.

I did a show here at uh what one of those schools at UCLA I think where I they. I did it in a full dining hall during a rush hour. No one was listening, and then I got a parking ticket. I was like, I paid to come do this garbage. Oh that's the best I used to I used.

To run a show at UCLA in the It's like the Bruin Diner or whatever it's called. Right, it's the one that kind of has seats built around and then the well obviously that's how probably any cafeteria was. The subway wasn't in the middle, it was on the outside. But it was basically like they were like they wanted,

Because you guys, you know, I don't know if.

Anybody else knows, but and he starts telling stories about like what frat guys do in private and like how they get into fraternities and shit, and the audience, I mean, they were going fucking nuts. It was like it was like all the nerd kids basically having their revenge of like talking shit on the frat guys.

It was so hilarious. It was like it was unbelievable.

Gosh, full circle back to mayonnaise. By the way, in my college, a lot of the fraternity or hazing rituals involved eating a lot of mayo. Oh no, yeah, that's what I heard. Like they would put like a Snickers at the bottom of an industrial sized thing of mayo and you had to like eat till you found it or something.

I don't know. No, it's always it.

Was always horrible food horror that I heard about. It was never I guess it's drink until you die. It was always like until you're.

You go to the hospital. Like, I don't know, Yeah, I'd rather one is worse. Yeah, hard to say.

I'll try my hand at just meeting kids on campus rather than go through this whole thing.

Yeah, yeah, for real, I'll just join the club. Yeah. I made fun of it for my whole college experience.

And then I had an acting class, the only acting class I have ever taken, I think in college. And it was with a bunch of Fiji house members and they wouldn't invite me to their parties and they it was the healthiest, nicest This one fraternity was like they all had oh it's time to do homework, and someone was cooking them dinner. They were all nice, they kept and I'm like, I'm not going to be in the fraternity and They're like no, we just like having you around.

There was a co ed fraternity at my school that asked for your parents' financial records before you could join.

What oh that is yeah?

Yeah, because they like only took people who were like really rich, and it was expensive to join and be a part of that and to.

Live there, so weird. Wait, can you say what college you went to?

Oh?

Yeah, I went to Trinity College in Connecticut.

And I mean maybe I won't say the actual fraternity, but there's like three, so you know what I'm talking about.

If you went there, we're also going to need a proof of your genetics. Yeah, it's like can we get a twenty three and meat?

Yeah?

God, damn, I know it's wild. I mean, it's like, you know, New England garbage. I don't know, it was a rumor.

Maybe it's not even true today, but everybody it was a pretty strong rumor.

You know. They're like, your mom bounced to check, so we didn't know you were one of them. Pool.

Yeah, yep, should have joined a frat. That's my closing statement. We're not ending.

I don't know why I stand cloth. This is not a court court scenario.

I just like how they had like a den mother there that would come down and tell them it's time to do homework for two hours and cook.

Some food and stuff. I bet that's like what was the draw for a lot of people.

Yeah, I didn't even realize that was that was one of the aspects. I thought they were all just kind of like in a else, breaking everything all the time.

Yeah, I think there were those that a lot of those houses, yeah, like straight from a movie, just broken a broken lion statue on the porch.

No, the houses were disgusting at I but I did I did I drink beer that ping pong balls from the floor had been in?

I sure did it? Yes, yeah, absolutely, Yeah.

All these people are passing around memes like if you did this, if you ate this in the eighties, don't worry about what's in the vaccine, And one of them was like if you drank in a frat basement, like, don't worry what's in the vaccine. And I'm like, absolutely, I think I'm already immune to COVID, Like I drank a lot of gross things.

Yeah. That is Another thing that I know is going to stick with me is my new ability to keep my hands out of my face.

I am like such a germophobe now, and I think I always had.

There were times in my life where I've been weird, and I have always been weird about wiping down a bathroom handle and I leave a restroom stuff like that.

But now I think this is permanent. I'm just going to be like such a germophobe now.

Just don't.

You don't have to decide it's permanent. It's permanent right now, but it probably will go.

Yeah, because everybody's like, I'm done shaking hands, I'm never touching another person.

I'm like, yeck, we might hug again. Oh yeah, oh I'm going to make out. I'm going to kiss strangers.

But my point is I kind of like that it has proven that that was the reason I was getting sick three four times a year is because I just wasn't paying attention. And now I have not had a cold, and I'm confident I never will.

My kid is twenty months old and has never been sick. I feel like her commune system is like a cotton ball.

I don't really even know like what she's gonna do when that's the way it comes back because she's just been inside and like everything's like wait around four other people Max like she yeah, Like god, I mean and that I get what you mean, Chris, because it's like the there was a guy that was there here to fix the like the water main thing at my house today and he came with a total industrial mask.

Yeah, but then he was trying to explain something to me.

He was wearing glasses and he's like, sorry, this is steaming up my glasses and just pulled the mask all the way down. And it was all I could think was how many of those like New York Times they almost have like the gifts where it shows you the spray that.

Comes out of someone else's mouth and how long you have before it gets on you.

Where I'm just like, I will not get COVID right as the vaccine cars out right, fuck you fuck that. I literally got up and stood six feet away from him, so I'm like, sorry, I will absolutely be rude to you because I am not getting it at the level of that.

Yeah, that's more than what I'm talking about. That positive, the positive aspect of us.

It like, no one is going to feel weird about it, and I'm going to keep wearing a mask on an airplane. I think it totally makes sense. I always used to get sick on flights. I'd show up and then I'm sick by the second show Somewhere I'm like, oh, I wonder why I got sick. It was on an airplane with a busy. I'm gonna wear surgical masks from now on, hear me. Now, I will prove it later. I'm gonna be a mask guy.

It's December eleventh. Write it down. Karen put it in our logs.

I think I still see people flying with masks though for a while, like yeah, yeah, things are cool.

I think people are still gonna fly with that.

Because you used to see a random one or two people, it always reminded me of SARS.

I would see it go we have SARS is still around, and yeah now it is now, Yeah it kind of was.

I guess I really think permanently that that stigma around masks, well, it's not gonna people won't judge anymore.

I'm gonna wear masks. Yeah.

Well, and also I think the I think the thing I will definitely be way less judgmental about is the thing I have clocked during this quarantine is watching my emotional state go up and down like a roller coaster where I'm like, what am I upset about?

I don't understand what it's happening.

Like it nothing is mathematically logical about how I feel. So it'll be like, you know, like my friends that do game night or whatever, like four of us that are just playing Quiplash, and when we go to say goodbye to each other, I get well, I well up, and it's like Fridger and my friend Carrie, where I'm like, yeah, that's fine. You love your friends and you're happy that you have people to.

Hang out with.

But it is those it's like those experiences where I'm just like, God, I hope no one's holding this against me or like counting this as I'm being a weirdo, because I just.

It's so hard to process all.

No.

I think we're all like emotionally off kilter.

I mean I watch I watch like, you know, kitty stuff with my kid, Like she doesn't really watch a lot, but she watches Moana. She likes Mowana. Oh I love Moana twelve times. I don't tear up. I ball crying every single time I watch it. In the scene places, I know what's coming, I propose. I'm like, Okay, this is gonna be the song where they talk about how she needs to stay here even though in her heart she really wants to go out be on the reef and.

I lose my ship. And I've never been a big crier about stuff like that before. That is now thing. You're crying as you sing along with the lyrics memorized, Oh.

My god fully, my daughter looks at me and goes She's like when she sees me crying, and she goes, Hi, Like that's all.

She just wants to know you're gonna go me.

I've been watching this, uh, this reality contest that I hesitantly turned on, this alone thing, this survival issue.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, saman And I was. I was so invested in it.

Also, it makes you appreciate what we have because they are out in the middle of nowhere. They don't have I'm complaining about having to prepare my own meals. There are people that are on there for several months. This woman was on there for several months, and all she had eaten in that whole time. Sometimes fourteen fifteen, twenty days without any food. She ate a squirrel and two

Like, kill the rabbit, eat the wolverine like it was.

But I was getting so emotional and getting teared up when they were having breakdowns in their tents because this other contestant on it, if I can call them that, she made a teddy bear out of a hide of a rabbit, like she was going insane, and she was holding this teddy bear.

She was like turning into a kid. And they were starving. They were getting.

Pulled off the show because their bodies were eating their organs like they were Christian Bale in some weird movie.

Skinny it is. It is an emotional roller coaster, and I was way into it. I watched all of it. I highly recommend alone.

It makes me feel bad when I'm like, God, I've eaten out of the same four restaurants in my neighborhood.

I eat Zanku again. Oh I can't. I actually can. It's delicious.

Just eating every day I see as a luxury now. It was yeah, and any human interaction. They missed their families so much. It's just like hard to watch. Yeah, because I cried during the right Toyota commercial. You know, I'm just yeah, yeah, we're all priors.

But yeah, Super U can fuck right off. Every commercial of theirs makes me ball. That commercial where like the little old lady is a kid, but then at the end you realize it's a little old lady.

Oh my god.

They two things were like one of those first ones was like two people on a kind of like on a first date and like and it's all that kind of like sunlit. They're driving through like beautiful wheat field type of areas and like the sun's coming through and they're kind of just like looking at each other or whatever. I would literally the commercialill be over. I'd be crying and convinced I would be alone for the rest of

It was like they have everything and I have nothing. It's like fuck you guys. Yeah, yeah, it does not make people buy a car. Yeah, I car. You're not getting sponsored on this podcast. Yeah, you keep confronting me. You keep confronting me about how I'm doing in life. What are you actually? They would be a perfect they would be a perfect sponsor.

Yeah.

Oh we've ruined it. See our emotions have ruined everything. Again. Cut all this, cut all this even please market it's our future. Please.

Like two episodes from now, you guys are like, we're back in the car in a brand new Subaru Forester.

Oh oh, terrific, and we're both in arranged marriages. It's wonderful. Thank you Suberu, Thank you SUPERU. We were forced to marry our childhood sweetheart. We had to do whatever the plot of the last super commercial we saw was, and here we are.

Hey, I'm just gonna say right now, there's nothing I want more than a Subaru cross track.

Oh yeah, yeah, which is my best My best friend has one, she likes it. I want a four wheel drive wagon car, and I think that's okay that I want it. No, it's you first of the universe makes ca Yeah you said that at the same time.

Yes, that's in the middle of these but those are really, really good cars my my ex's family.

That's all they drove, and they were Portland people.

But the four wheel drive in the rain, like you didn't ever have to because I've every car accident I've ever gotten into was me driving in the rain, slamming on my brakes and sliding into the back of people because I drove too fast, and so I would alway be really anxious in the rain. And it's because of the way those cars are built and the way they drive. They don't do that, they don't lock up like there. It's it's such a good car. Yeah, and they have

Yeah, Oh, I think at this point, at this point, super owes us an apology for pulling out of.

An imagine you do, Dare, That's right, don't doubt this.

Plus you can drive up into the snowy mountains where I'm going to continue to live my life eating squirrels.

I've been. It's so inspired by so many Would you go on.

A show like that, Chris, I want to say one as extreme as that, but like a survivor maybe, or like.

A I don't think I would.

I'm afraid people think because I'm from Montana and maybe I go camping sometimes that I but I there's nothing on that show that I knew how to do. I would not know how to fish by hand, Yeah I would. They were making nets out of wheat, grass and stuff and catching fish. You have to kill animals, all that stuff. I wouldn't be able to do.

I wouldn't last a day. I'm a vegetarian.

Yeah.

They were in the Arctic, and so you could tell one of the women. I think normally most of them. I'm surprised that they would tear up and say, I didn't want to kill this squirrel. It's my only friend here. One guy got really emotional. I'm telling you, it's a really good show. It's not like the manly guy in the beginning who's like I came here to kick moose ass. He fell and broke its leg on like day four. And the people that continued to survive were like the

And they're in the Arctic.

It was zero degrees and they this is the one where they just pull you out when you're done, like you could be out there for three months.

You could be out there for you. Yeah, you can radio them.

Well, it's kind of funny because I realize, after having watched it, while when this woman's hut caught on fire, they had an establishing shot, like there's a camera crew there. Yeah, they just aren't giving you candy bars right right, or a jacket or anything.

People were really starving. You could see their bodies changing, literally naked and afraid.

I worked on a clip show, of course, and one of the things was Naked and Afraid, and I remember having to watch it. I was trying to write jokes while this woman was literally starving and laying naked in like a lean to that they had made where she's so afraid of snakes. But she's laying there and she's like, my editor, it's so bad, and I'm just like, I'm

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't watch any of those shit. I don't watch anything survivalists, but I have heard that alone is like different and it is. Yeah, but yeah, we Lisa and I went on a podcast together where the question was who which one of you would be better at Survivor? And immediately I was like, oh, Lisa, she's watched like forty seasons of that. And Lisa immediately was like me, here's why Kara would be bad on Survivor.

I was like, you could just say what's good about you? I said, you too? Yeah, yeah, it's funny. After watching that show, I did learn a lot.

I feel like maybe I would last a couple more days because I watched that whole season. But I am nervous because my refrigerator, the thermostat or something broke the other day and I'm starting to smell my food. It is time to get a new refrigerator. I've been shopping, looking, browsing online, but I'm in a bit of a panic.

So I can relate to Marketplace and stuff because sometimes people move into places and then they buy a refrigerator and then they got to move again. But their new place at the bridge check out Marketplace don't buy me.

Yeah, but I want a wine red retro looking one that looks like an old catile.

I'm gonna grow my mustache out type.

I can't just like rebuilding this entire apartment and it's like you're going to have to move out one day and you're not gonna be able to.

I know, have beautiful thing. You build it, I know, you build him. I have to have a refrigerator, though, so I figured i'd get because those are also smaller. They're not dorm room small, but I could if.

I ever have a garage a three quarter fridge, like yeah, yeah, that's all you have. And when you come to LA, you're like, look at these enormous fridges like.

Yeah, yeah, mine's too big. It's too big. That's the main reason that in it. Not keeping food cold? Yeah, that's those are the two that's main job.

Right when I grocery shop, I got three hundred dollars in groceries, right when I brought them home, you got so I get it.

I know what it's like to eat a squirrel.

Up in the.

Yeah, it was your only way from melty cheese.

Isn't that sad that this this bearded, tough guy with long dreads was like crying because he killed a squirrel and he's like, this squirrel had trust in me, and I just filled it and he started crying and I that was one of the things that just took me over the edge.

I was like, I went to summer camp, so I know how to do like I know how to build a fire, and I know two constellations, and I know how to do a slipknot.

Do you think I'd survived and you could cover?

You can sing slip knot songs slipknots, so you've got it all. You've truly got it all. Yeah, And I learned I learned canoeing skills. That's like really what I focused on at camp.

So like, if anything about my survivalism, if they provide me a canoe, I.

Can do some pretty pretty like nice things with the canoe. But that's like there's the big difference aim towards the big Yeah. Yeah, you got to navigate sing the stars. I just didn't.

Yeah, I didn't really emerge from camp as like a full knolls like trailblazer, But you know, I can build a fire.

I mean my dad has a wood burning stove in the front room, which is great because like on cold nights. It really puts out in a bunch of heat, but he won't let you touch it.

Like it's been years. I've had to prove that I know how to build a fire, because he'll get get out of the way. Like it's so fun to earn that squirrel's trust. I had.

Had to earn my dad's squirrel trust to build it, and so I truly know where it's like, you've got to leave this much room to get the oxygen going, but then you light the newspaper, you get the tinder going underneath and that hole like all the because he will give you maybe four minutes, and if you start with the pank fire, he's just like it clear. The area gets so mad.

Yeah. The woman that that, oh, she would have won if they hadn't said hey, you're starving, you have to get off the show. And then the other guy won. But she her cabin she made. Everyone else had a tarp held up by sticks. She made a wall that was two rows of logs that she cut with a.

Sharp rock and insulated it with pine tree and under her bed would put warm stones.

She made a cabin.

She made it that would totally withstand what hundreds of pounds of snow. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, wait, Chris, can I ask you what they win?

Uh?

And it was almost an insult. Just give them a million dollars. It was five hundred thousand dollars. It's like, just give them a million.

Which they're going to spend all at the hospital because they have to get all. I guarantee you exactly. One guy was going bald.

This woman was like, they said, your heart is being affected, and she's like, no, I just give me a few more weeks.

She didn't want to leave, like they the cabin lady.

Yeah.

Granted they weren't social butterflies.

No.

This other woman that was like seriously, like I don't need to eat. I'm fine with like she was. But they were all there and calm and positive. I'm like, okay, I gotta quit complaining.

About Well, it's easy to be calm when your heart is barely beating. Yeah right, there's no food that what like being zen like you cheach like navy seals teach themselves how to lower their.

Heart rate, like this woman is like halfway there. Yeah, they were all doing things like that. It was the calm people.

It was the people that were like had their minds running that were maybe thoughtful that right away were like, I can't. I there's a million reasons to quit right now. And then there's these other survivalist robots that and the women were the most badass on it.

Yeah, you guys have I mean, any guy that's like the squirrel trusted me and I earned his trust is like and did it have a name and was it speaking to you?

Like the squirrel just got tricked? That's all? Yeah, Like that's Survival of the Fittest? What your romantic? How close to the tanks got to that volleyball?

Though?

They all they Wilson out, Well, do you have anything any like additional things you want to plug besides what's been.

Plugged for you? Side a hit podcast?

Just yeah, no, listen to That's Messed Up and that's for you podcasts And if you're interested in my stand up, I have an album on iTunes called Undefeated.

But that's all for me. Nice and yeah, you're going to be addicted. You got to go to Apple podcast look at the top charts and every time you put out an episode, that's what I do. I look and make sure that it's in that at least top two hundred. Oh have we been We were up there right, Oh yeah, we always It makes me feel great. Yeah, we're always good fifty. Yeah, we're killing it, Karen Nor great. Yeah yeah.

I mean, guys, if you're listening right now, rate, review and subscribe any podcast that you like, because it really affects the ratings.

That is true. Yeah, we haven't said that for a while, and do that right away. Take Karas podcast. We'll say for Karas and we'll say it for this one as well. Yeah, that's messed up. As currently number ten on the True Crime I.

Thank you.

I didn't even know. I didn't know. I saw that we were like thirty eight of all podcasts. I didn't see that we were ten of True Ground. That's so exciting. Yeah, you gotta look up episodic as well.

And I saw I actually read a review today on our Apple podcast that was really funny that said, so excited to listen to this one star.

So just make sure that you is actually corresponding to the number of stars that you're getting. I get that, I get that, you know phones are slippery, but come on, yeah, no, that.

Was someone like a golfer that thinks the lower the score, the better. Yeah, that's the car. That's why I gave it one. It's so funny. One star. That's hilarious. Awesome. Well, congratulations, you know you're in the game. Thank you, thanks for lost of us. Welcome to the family, Cara, thank you, Welcome to I was trying to do a Mafia voice, but it came out differently. It came out it came out as an alone with you guys in real life.

Soon, yes, all high, but I will hug all of you uncomfortably uh comfortably long.

We'll have our own Magiano's party.

Yes, I'm wrap to go to a back room of Magianos and I'm making every comic to.

A set with a tiny lap mic. Shit we have and you have to introduce. Everybody has to.

Introduce the comic that's after that, so you always have to hand the mic to the next comic.

I have to show you this mon that's been my time. But you know what coming up right after me. You're gonna love Africa. We have tiny we'll have tiny laceol wipes and we'll wipe it off here. We have comics. Oh yeah, that's essentially the size that it where it is that size but there we.

Get to a mic pack, so I have to hold that in my others Okay, sorry, I had to leap across.

I had to pull a muscle in my leg to grab my tiny microphone. Thank you for being on.

Keep it on for the Magiano's showcase night that will I would say early fall of twenty twenty one.

Maggiano's doing a showcase.

I love it.

It's gonna be called tiny mic Oh.

This was fun, guys, Thank you so much. I thank you for the whole time. Even though I'm in a garage. Nice, I'm a garage to the outside, like that's the outside. Oh my god, wow, carport. Someone has an unused power peralta skateboard to your Hey, that's money. That is money, baby, I guess yeah right away, Biggin's house. I knew exactly the brand. That's what a nerd I am. That's a skateboard nerd for you.

Thanks well, Sally, Thank you for doing this and at five o'clock so that I could missped time.

I'm gonna roll right into dinner over. I'm gonna yes my own thing, go drink a bunch of wine. Yeah, thanks a lot for being on. You've been listening. Do you need a ride? Do you yann? Are I leave you? Wanta way back? Either want to be there?

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim to give us. Time and a terminol and gay we.

Want to send you off in style. Do you want to welcome you back home? Tell us all about ity scared?

He was it fine?

Malborn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

To ride?

Do you need

With Karen and Chress