S2 - Ep. 51 - Bridger Winegar

Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay a. We want to send you off InStyle. We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Now?

Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

This is Karen Kilgariff.

I don't know why I say uh before my own name. It's as if I have to think about it for a second.

But I feel like you've done it every time that way.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like us in speech in general. Oh, but for some reason I throw one in right before my name.

Well it sounds thoughtful and it gives you a little bit of a Tom Broka feel. Yeah, almost like a drawl. You're very serious when you introduce this podcast.

A lot of what.

I do is an attempt to sound like a classic broadcaster.

And so I'm glad you brought up broka.

I mean, your father's influence is everywhere on this podcast, is surrounding us and in your life.

Yeah, is it going in all seriousness?

Yes, great stopping sarcastic because it's true.

Yeah, No, I'm being very serious right now. Care my father's influence looms over me.

It's too bad you're being so serious because you have ed girl and Poe hair. So it's hard.

That was going to be my Halloween costume. I did not participate this year, and it felt weird. Halloween used to be a big part of my life. Making costumes was a big part of my life.

I'll come back this year. The whole thing's awash that we're throwing entire year out. It doesn't count. It's not going to set any any patterns for the future, right.

I think everyone understands that I did put on some skeleton gloves, these woven gloves that have skeleton print on them, but they're also my gardening gloves. And I rubbed my eye and got dirt in my eye, and that kind that's how my Halloween ended, with dirt in my eye.

Okay, have a sad story.

Yeah, it's kind of sad.

Yeah, it has a lot of potential in the beginning, you think this story is going to end well, and then.

It kill it and gloves. I mean, Jesus, what more could you ask for? Like, I'm like, yes, here we go, finally the story we're looking for, and.

Then dirt in the eye and the end.

Polachi, Okay, should we introduce our guests since he's just sitting here listening to us talk to each other.

Yeah, it's hard to pretend.

We used to pretend over audio that they weren't in the car at the beginning.

But Ridgard's sitting right next to you.

He's he's like he's haunting me, like a ghost. He's right next to me.

I've always his influence, and his influence is always right.

Bridger is to my life as your father is to yours. They're exact parallel influences.

Now, can't Bridgard let's give him a proper introductions please.

You know him from the I Said No Gifts podcast.

You know him from his work on many a television show, including Chris you take this part.

Including he wrote on a show that I believe I was subsequently cut out of. I can't remember what it was called normal people parenting parent What was it?

Called you can jump in Single Parents, but you were also.

Wrote on single Parents. There was a cold open scene. It was a long it was like a scene from Children of Men.

It was like a fifteen minute.

Yeah, ending with me breaking up with a woman.

I understand for technical reasons, Am I right, printer, That's why it was cut out.

But I don't remember it much about it. So you know, in my mind you're in the episode, and that's true. Really the only thing that matters with television.

I got any email that said sadly and you were cut from this episode, and I'm like, I was unaffected.

By it emotionally five days later, but it was kind of cool to get, uh, what was probably my last television acting job, and you were just there. You just happened to be there.

Well, I was there, and I you know, I put bugs in people's ears. I thought, you know, I saw that Chris Fairbanks was auditioning for this thing, and so I, you know, I got my fingers in the pot and I got you.

A issue, did you?

Oh?

I did not know that.

It's very subtle about it. I didn't act like we knew each other.

I just you, God, damn sweetheart.

That's the guy, we need to hang Thank.

You, friend. I didn't know that.

That makes me feel I'm your guardian angel.

See, he influences everyone's life, not just mine.

You're constantly hovering at the foot of my bed.

Of course, of course, it's just ready to deliver a vision. And so I you know, in these situations, you don't want people to know that. You don't want the nepotism or whatever happening. So I underplated. I said, oh, that's a good audition, that's a good piece of tape. And suddenly you and I are in a grocery store in where were we, Culver City at six A.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a somewhat familiar grocery store, right.

I think it was like a one of those shopping dot com grocery stores or whatever they're called.

I used to go in there across the street was my physical therapy place after I got rear ended, and so I would go in there. I would limp in there, so I was familiar with the place. I felt comfortable there. Clearly, I think you made comments that I seemed comfortable on camera.

Well, I was founding at the rest of the crew trying to get the perfect shot.

Now is it true?

And Chris, you can attest that Bridger's just a complete, just a monster on set.

Just yeah here.

First I just thought he was being quiet and thoughtful, and then someone brought him the wrong coffee and he slapped it into their face.

The cat flew off, they got first or a burns, and I thought Bridger has an edge and I like it.

I like that on This guy's going somewhere in Hollywood. This abuse will stand, it will get him everywhere.

Usually you only get abuse from the first ad like we gotta do this people and they're yelling Richard does it as a writer.

Yeah of course, Yeah, of course.

That's how I've made my name and that's why I'm going places. So, Karen, have you been in one of these What is the place? It's like shopping dot com or shopping car but it just happens, or it's yummy dot com or some yummy so it's not.

Oh so, let's it's like pink dot where's delivery based?

Yes, I think it started earlier than all these other things.

Okay, yummy dot Com they're just yummy.

Yeah. No, I can't go there because of the man.

Oh come, I can't hold a bag that says yummy on it.

It is people talk about the word moist, they talk about the word panties. Of course yummy should be at the top of the list for words that should not.

For pur words.

Yes, yummy and cuddle.

Both of those words cuddles pretty gross.

Send them into space.

And then if you whispered, sorry you whispered yummy, well.

Cuddling, sorry that I had to get that out. Just trifecta.

And can I just add the physical The physical equivalent, which is a guy putting his head on a girl's shoulder literally has sent me out of rooms before where I was just like.

You know, I can't withstand this.

It's funny.

I've never noticed how much I hate that and I just visualized it and man.

Yeah, I'm in that club.

It makes me feel like Anna Swan, the giantess of Nova Scotia.

I hate it so much. I hate it so much.

Oh boy, what are you doing now, Bridge? Or are you just like other people wondering where the work is happening?

Or are you working?

You just started a job last week, Thank god it I thought that I was going to be wrapping up the year with no job, but I'm back on the show called Black Monday that I worked on the second season. We're doing the third season.

Now, Blacks Monday. It's great.

Yeah, it's a wonderful group of people, so it's it's nice to be treated like a human being.

Is Janelle James back on that too?

James is back, Yes, Leicester. I mean, we've got a lot of wonderful people here.

Ya.

Sir is a real sweet person, right.

Angel, Yes, yeah, and such a good actor truly, we've.

All worked with him. Yeah, I know him on some degree.

Yeah.

Do you think Bridger and I want to make this about me? But I should I take my first ever acting class? Oh maybe I should take an acting class. If I want to do acting things and be an active person, that should probably get training.

Well, let me ask you, do you want to learn to act or do you want to fill your time? Because ah, yeah.

Sailor yes, I do not care for the latter. I have plenty of things to fill my time. You've talked me out of acting classes.

But hold on because I think acting class in the time of COVID could be very interesting. The thing that used to drive me insane because I, of course was a theater major and am of the theater, and the worst part about it is like being in the room with the people who have no shame and are there because they don't know the difference between negative and positive attention, and so it's just eyes on me.

Please, I beg you.

But if it's COVID, I feel like you would get much more information without all the distraction of say the girl that's lifting her knee up to her ear, or a guy that just has a big leather jacket on.

That you can't stop staring at, you know what I mean.

I feel like nowadays you might just get that acting those acting tips right into your Brain's.

True, It's very true. And I mean, I guess the one thing that I think would be missing is I have terrible stage bright and I feel like an acting class for me would be just about diminishing the stage right and being in front of a computer screen. What's going to happen right?

Well, you could get covered.

It's funny what I don't. I don't get actual stage. I only feel comfortable on a stage with people.

You're that's so anyplace you're comfortable.

Everywhere else he's miserable.

The thing that, yeah, oh man, I'm a real sad sack in most situations.

Especially at Yummy dot com yday, when.

There before a show, like I'm at a club somewhere and they're like, oh, the guy that usually does the announcements isn't here. Do you mind announcing the show before you know they won't know you're the headliner? Can you just say, hey, everyone, thanks for coming out here tonight's MC and I will break into a sweat. Nothing makes me more nervous then speaking into a mic hidden in the darkness to an audience if they can't see me, you know what I mean.

No, that's just I applied for a job at a bank when I was about eighteen inside of a grocery store and the interview part of the interview process was they put you on the phone that went over the grocery store PA, and you had to make an announcement about banking. And I that's why I didn't get the job. I absolutely collapsed from the manager and so so I understand that feeling.

Yeah, I just I'm not a good announcement baker.

I would feel like that level of the interview would be callbacks, not like the first interview. You get right on the horn and they just let you start talking to the entire store.

That seems to give you.

Some heads up at the very least. Just know that when you're here, you'll be performing over the PA, announcing mortgage specials or whatever.

And you guys have seen the sorry to do this, but you've seen the tick talk video of the guy that it's there in Costco.

And he walks up.

He walks up and picks up one of the phones that is the public address system and farts into it.

He didn't say that.

And the employee, there's an employee there that laughs harder than anyone.

That's what makes the video great. It's just like, this is my my buddy.

It's bring your buddy to work day, and I'm gonna let him fart the PA.

Let's have a good time. This is it's so pre COVID. It's like just fart around and have a good time and laugh and spin yeah, spitting farting.

So Bridger, when you work on.

You don't have to give us details about block Monday, because I'm sure you're under a lot of contracting that says keep your mouth.

Shut, keep your mouth shut.

But so basically, to be in a writer's room, these days is being like we are now on a Zoom call for literally six.

Hours, not for six hours. Yet it's a Fortunately our bosses understand how exhausting this can be. Yeah, you know we're looking at like four hour workdays. But it's very concentrated. That's why there's no screwing around. It's just you have to be paying attention the entire time, which for me is which I think probably for anyone is very difficult to do. And then there's also twelve people talking, so you're it's a it's a new rhythm that I'm getting used to.

Yeah, sure, yeah. Do you ever raise your hand?

You realize our hands?

Yeah, I mean I feel like that's the I mean, Zoom should have like a hand raising.

Feature or something yeah, or a buzz yeah.

Your boxes are glowing when you have something to say or yeah.

I like the idea of a loud buzz, high pitched buzzer every.

Time, like on tic Tac dough when the maybe like when the dragon would come up on Tictac dough, there's a dragon sound when you want to share your idea.

Tell me more about check dough. Okay, deer a female deer.

No as in dough as in money.

So it was a game show from the eighties that for some reason my family really loved and we'd watch it.

When it was on.

I believe it was syndicated, so I think it was on it like seven every night and Wink Martindale was the host. Oh classic, yeah and uh he Link Martindale was famous best friend with an R and B singer Now I can't remember who it is, and it's a really great combination. But anyway, he was a really cheesy classic game show host.

Two people playing. You would answer trivia questions.

That would come up on the board and then it would reveal an X or and O depending on like if you won and you were ex team, then you would get your ex there and if you got a three in a row in any way like tic tech Tow, then you would win some kind of money or there was another round I think, but you could get if you picked one the instead of a question coming up, it would just be a dragon in this really bad like eight bit kind of thing where.

It'd be like ahrah and then you'd lose your money.

I feel like with the name tic Tac Dough, it should have fend like an angry baker or something. Yes, the dragon does not make the theme at all.

Well, maybe the dragon's protecting a cave of gold.

Sure, often as they do, you know, That's why I immediately thought, I think it should have been an angry deer and it should have been tac dough.

Yeah. I mean, there are at least two other options there that they could have easily gone for, and they went with a dragon. Maybe that was just I feel like there's like a warehouse of game show pieces that you just.

Go and Yeah, they're like, who do you want?

You can't have the Uh, you can't have the Whammy guy, he's taken.

You can't have you know.

But that technology. I mean, I feel like there are a lot of seventies and eighties game shows that that technology could be adapted to Zoom to make this software better. Yeah, got Hollywood Squares, you know all of these things? Yeah, some of these to improve Zoom.

Yes, Yeah, that's a very good point.

I don't know. I mean, everyone should have a buzzer.

Hollywood Squares was the first Zoom.

Right, it was.

We should all have our full names in white lettering at the bottom of our squares.

And we should always warpy Goldbarge in the middle for no reason.

Warpy Goldberg should be there every show.

There was a time that we were driving in San Francisco with a bunch of comics like uh, Margan Murphy and Mike for Biglia, and Henry Phillips was in the back of the car and he was very drunk.

I think I probably was too.

But we got in an argument about Whoopy Goldberg and I was like, I don't know, I've always liked her.

He's like, yeah, what is she funny?

And then we were at a light and he rolled down the window and had the other car at the red light roll down their window and he goes, hey, do you guys.

Like Warpie gold Barge.

That's just how it came out. And I forever Marky Goldbarge.

It's my favorite. I can't not collar that.

We got to get Henry Phillips back on the show. It's been so long.

Yes, yes, it's been a long time since I've even seen him, and he's one of my best friends.

It's so strange.

Well, that's that's COVID. That's twenty five.

Yeah, yeah, it is.

That's how it is these days.

So Bridger, do you want to tell our listeners of do you need to ride about?

I said, no gifts.

Unless if there are people out there that are confused. I think we probably have a lot of crossover audience, but.

There's a big crossover, I would hope. I think it's worth explaining.

Okay, yes, walk us through.

I said, no gifts. Would you both have been on at this point? Two beautiful gifts have been given to me by person Karen.

Wait, sorry, what did Chris give you?

Chris gave me a bottle of cologne, which Jim has been using to the point that I had to hide it because he sprays so much on himself.

It's a good cologne. I looked it up.

I didn't know it was supposed to be a joke gift, and then I looked it up and I was like, shit, look at the retail value.

Where'd you get?

Uh?

My manager, Jess, I just had it. It was like in a separate bag. It was part It was given to her and I regifted and we talked, of course about regifting and gift giving and regiving of gifts that you've received. Yes on Christmas mainly, but yeah, I actually I smelled it and I liked it.

This was very good. It's found a home where it has users. But I mean I've tried to tried to demonstrate to Jim it's my boyfriend, how the spray and walk through. Yes, it's not happening. It's for him. It's a direct spray on. I think this has something to do with bing.

Italian Italian from New York State, right.

Yeah, this is just like you've got to be doused in cologne.

And it's also I've always found it wasteful. It is the way I do it. When and you spray it, half of it is just going on the ground.

Right, that's for the best.

You've got a nice smelling ground and a light scent.

Yeah, I'm a real skin bracer like young, I just spray it in my hand and slap it on my face.

I don't work too or like spray it directly onto the finger and you know, just a little here and there.

Yeah.

But when you've got it just directly on your body and clothing, nobody wants to be around.

That unless you're a smoker. And then it smells great. Then the combination of the two is like hello disco tech Friday night.

Yeah, come on.

His cigarettes and roses together.

Please next s Twitter with no shirt on underneath, I'm ready to party.

I missed the club scent.

I do too.

We hit the clubs every Friday night.

Yeah, my open toe shoes.

Car that blub Yeah.

Now every time I go to my refrigerator, I have to call that bottle service.

Oh.

I mean there are just so many empty clubs across the world right now, just gathering dust.

Those Yeah, I know.

It's it's tragic, it's it's uh.

It's hopefully some will survive because there's some show I was watching and there was some club scene. And of course, aside from comedy clubs and bars in the nineties, I've.

Never been one to go to a club.

In fact, I've had some horrible experiences, like in clubs and Sacramento when I was eighteen or whatever, where it's just like, oh my god, what am I doing to myself?

So it's but I saw I saw one on a TV show.

The other day and longed for it, like as if it was my favorite thing to do. Could you imagine walking into this high ceiling with this loud music is playing and everyone's dancing.

It's just like, you.

Mean, your total nightmare of like, no, now, it's the thing I want to do the most.

I would get that right now. I can't even imagine. I mean, the most normal thing I've experienced recently was forgetting this microphone at home. And you don't forget anything at home anymore because you're just home all the time. Yeah, I had to turn around and get the microphone. It felt incredible.

It's normal.

Okay, wait, did you we interrupted? You trying to knock avoid the subject.

I don't want to tell anybody about this.

You better tell them. This audience needs to hear it.

Okay, Yes, the podcast, I said no gifts, which you've both have been on. Yes, yes, es Aaron gave me a star. So basically the general conceit of the podcast is I beg I plead with my guests, don't bring me a gift every single time we've done I think thirty five or so at this point, I've received thirty five gifts, and it's a whole variety of things, from my bottle of cologne to a star named after me, to somebody gave me a grape tomato. So there's just

I thought it would be like morning radio knowing your personality.

Oh, waiting for the horn to be delivered.

Chris can come on and be your your morning radio code DJ.

I would love to rude.

That's right, we're coming to jam.

That would rapping podcast where you just combine a more like NPR style host and a shot and then just let them go.

Remember at the very beginning, we talked about we were going to do a drive time a podcast that was drivetime radio morning radio. Remember it was like the first episode.

I think we talked about, yeah, getting like sound effects in and and just like talking over each other and talking about topical weird news stories and stuff that would.

Be I gott Yeah, Yeah, I think that it's a great idea. We had a great idea. It's still a good idea.

It's in the bank. We we we've got that one to rely on if we need it later.

It's really joky.

I think that you and I both like just being normal people talking as friends.

That yeah, this is hard enough.

I can't imagine how to go every fucking ten minutes the way those people seem to have to.

Which which button is Homer Simpson saying some donuts again, it's so.

Hard to keep track of these buttons.

I feel like I have led this podcast down because on my before I set out to drive over here, I thought, you know, the podcast has been off the out of the car for a while. Maybe I can a little of this seeing the world to the podcast. Maybe I'll observe what I see on the way over. Every five minutes on my drive, I remembered, oh, I should be observing thing. Did not observe a single thing for you, outside of pulling into Karen's neighborhood and seeing

And I kind of like that sign.

You miss because you missed the South.

When I moved to Austin and people were saying y'all, Like if you're in a restaurant the wait person to come over and say what can I get, y'all, and you'd be alone. They just say it to say it, and I'm like, you can, please never say y'all. It bothered me so much, and now that I don't live there anymore.

I love y'all. Yeah, I love texting it. I love reading it. I don't say it as much as I as I type it.

I love the word. It's very comforting. I like to say it. I would feel like a complete fraud if I started saying.

Y'all, yeah, me too.

Yeah.

I think maybe that's why.

We leave it to the side. We leave it to the autumn signs. Let them say yeah, we lead it in our minds.

Happy fall y'all. I love it.

It feels great, happy fall y'all.

If I haven't said it to either of you, happy fall y'all. You know what's funny is it's almost like you and I are in a car.

Let me go. I know it's actually a little bit more.

Yeah, I'm like a like an old fifties movie here.

Yeah. When Karen and I were talking about ever doing live podcasting, it reminded me of this I performance I did in eighth grade of Little Old Lady from Pasadena. I think it's a Beach Boys song, or it's a band that sounds a lot like the Beach Boys, and I made a cardboard side profile of a car and sang it from the car we would have to do something like that, and I think Karen was right to say, no, that is something we will never do.

Yeah for our live show. So we come out in a cardboard car. No, I just immediately Chris's idea.

No. I immediately, I was like, I understand, I understand why you're saying that.

Not when we know people could drive a car through the side of an auditorium. That's just you know, you see this in the news all the time. Car crashes through.

An auditor it happens constantly.

I mean, that would be the live show Karen and Chris just for being through the side of a theater.

That's right, Or actually, in all seriousness, that would be if there was a car on stage. That was a frank we did when I was because I'm from the theater too. I don't know if you know that, Karen or I was. That's being at Jason. I didn't put enough hours in, but I was in place with the Thespians and on this guy, Matt. It was his birthday and we carried his tiny little show nine fourteen, the Ugly Little Poor Show, which was liftable by just five people.

Wow.

We carried it from the parking lot and put it on the Sentinel High School stage as a prank. And then he came in the r and his car was on stage. I guess that was the entire prank.

To me, that's not a prank, that's an inconvenience.

Yeah, it really was for him and for us, And I don't know that I think that the look on his face it was like we all knew it wasn't worth all the labor.

Oh.

I like it as a surprise if we did.

A live show and there was an actual car on stage. Yeah, they have a back garage usually, or.

We could just get one of those prop cars, you know, where it's the front of the car and we're sitting in it and then there's no back and the whole thing weighs fifty.

Pounds and it's not a big deal.

I like it.

I do.

There was a sitcom called My Two Dads, Oh yeah, and one of the dads was a sculptor or he's an artist and he made furniture and it was like would be the front of a like a bumper in the headlights, but it was a couch.

I remember the show that they didn't know what I'm talking about.

Yes, because these were too homosexual.

It was Paul Reiser was one of the dads, and Greg ev again was the other dad who was from BJ and the bear and he if I'm correct.

And then there was a little girl.

So it was like they the mother didn't know which one was the dad, and so the mother dies and then they get together and even though they're fighting and they're like, I'm because they were like the odd couple. Paul Reiser was all uptight and Greg Eviden was again was the artist dad with long hair or a mullet.

And then the little girl's like, I'm learning so much from two men.

Yeah, it's a sitcom premise that easily would be ruined by DNA testing. Now it's like watching forensic files or something. It's like, yeah, that sitcom would not exist.

The whole premise is gone. The second DNA is invented.

By the way, up.

Until now, I just thought it was Kenny Loggins. What's the other dad?

The singer kind It looks like Loggins high Weight of the danger Zone.

Has Kenny Friend showed into acting?

I mean he's he was in many many videos, uh, music videos, music videos, he does roasters.

That's Kenny Rodgers. Wait too, highway to the danger zone is who you're thinking of.

The gambler is who you're thinking of. I'm thinking of, and we're talking about.

You're the danger zone, the one who's produced a lot of horrible music.

Well, actually it's surprising.

There's the there's the Footloose song, there's the song from Caddie Shack like and a lot of them are like rock songs for my youth that he just was hired to write them for movies.

He dominated the radio waves when I was young.

You certainly did.

Yeah, yeah, Cam and the Fabulous Thunderbirds.

Was that the official name?

I think so, the Fabulous Thunderburt.

I'm realizing now I've seen Kenny Loggins in concert, a Fourth of July concert in Utah called Stadium of Fire.

Yes, who else?

Donny Osmond would come in on helicopter dangling from a rope. Yes, we saw of course, like the Mike Love version of The Beach Boys.

Boo.

I mean, how did that ever happen? How is it just turned it into like a franchise, The Beach Boys.

Yeah, he just he went corporate.

He wanted his Jimmy Buffett slice of the pie so wild?

How did not just suite them into oblivion.

Because Wilson's kind of like, well, I did everything and everyone knows it, and I've got other fish to fry, So you guys do go do what you want.

I feel like, who's Uncle Jesse from Full House?

He was on John Scott Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, I was gonna say Scott Bayo.

But different.

That's it's like it's likes and Rogers.

Yes, they're interchangeable to me.

Oh, Stamos. I feel like Stamos is a he must be a better person than old I've heard heat person.

Yeah, I think he is. He has a good sense of humor.

He's been he's been around forever, and if you're a real prick, you're not around forever. That's the That's the deep dark Hollywood secret is the reason people go away. Sometimes it's because personal reasons, and sometimes it's because everyone hates their guts.

Yeah, and it's just.

Like we're just we cannot work with that person ever again.

Yeah. James Woods syndrome.

James Wood syndrome.

Also, here's what's funny. John Stamos volunteered to play Scott Bao when they were talking about doing a Happy Days reunion. That's he like got on Twitter and was like, I'll play Jochy.

So he knows they're interchangeable even.

Well he knows, Yeah, he knows.

He knows he's the better version.

He's the great.

I think Scott bo is Italian And yeah.

Bayo blocked me on Twitter in like twenty eleven, and I don't know why. She was like the first person to ever block me on Twitter. Oh how did we cross?

He just hates your fucking comedy? Was this ship?

He's on the wrong side of politics. If I'm not for sat well.

He's you know, I find there are the people who found this little like kind of dopamine hit of fame by being contrariant and fighting with people and saying, yes, here's the way it's going to go. None of them planning that or doing that with any long term vision, because it's just like, so what, You're just going to keep on being this kind of flashpoint asshole.

It's weird. It's it's weird, so agro it's crazy.

Yeah, it too. Yeah.

I found out James Woods was dating some this intern I worked with it like ten years ago, and she was the most annoying person I'd ever met, and she was probably she was very irritated, but she's probably like a age.

Are shape those shoes that kind of rocked on.

The bottom, Yeah, there's there are sketchers shoe I have sketched.

Yeah.

I was told when I first was having hip problems to wear something like a shape.

Up really, and I said I would rather have it.

I'd rather have both my hips removed.

Yeah, I'm not gonna wear a shoe with a rock or sole.

Was supposed to just surfing reference.

It just makes it harder to live.

And so in that way, you're kind of like less hungry, and you're just more frustrated, and you're just like, I'm just not enough. And I guess I'll ruin walking for myself because that's how much I don't deserve anything good.

Was my internal monologue when I bought them.

That's from final document the company.

Our customers want, Yeah shoes that the shifts they're focused, which is shifts their focused from the problems they had for the new problem, which is these shoes.

Getting somewhere, getting across the room becomes the worst problem in your life. Thank you, shaups.

Yeah, do you have problems?

Well, welcome to the world of being heckled by your kids in the privacy of your own.

Oh, they come with a pair of transition lenses.

The worst though, truly the worst, And to this day people are still wearing transition lenses.

I feel like we got the word out, and I guess we didn't.

I think there's some people who are just like, it's about convenience only for me, and other than that, I don't care.

And I think there are optometrists who are just excellent salespeople.

Yeah.

I think they're telling people they're not the ones that you think they are. And then you put them on and then their transition lenses and he looks.

Like a creek.

Yeah, there's it's always like ooh, someone's got a secret. Someone at the business meeting's got a secret, a.

Sex crime secret.

Yeah, it's not a fun it's funny.

There's a weatherman for Channel seven here in Los Angeles that is, I'm sure theeerologist. He's he seems like a nice man, but he has transitions lenses and they're right in that mid zone where we haven't gone full tint. And he's got hair that he's got like a combed back, greased back, mullet haircut.

He knows. He's just a young guy that knows his weather.

And the other day I was watching him and did a voiceover and it was all about being some sort of a murderer.

Sex based murderer because he looks like that.

And then I felt bad because I was like, he's probably a nice man and everyone is liking this Instagram.

What if he sees it? If you're listening right now, mister weather man, I don't know your name, but just give him a new lenses just for the indel I.

Mean, it's not worth because this is the thing, Like a guy like that on a set, well, then the lights are bright enough that your glasses think it's the sun.

Right.

You can't control these fucking transition lenses. They they don't actually transition, they stay gray. So you just have this weird look about you that's like you're you're a little bit behind Venetian blinds, behind your glasses.

You're the paper.

You're peeping tom from behind your own glasses.

Always first, for whatever reason, his likability, I guess the only person that gets away with them is Jeff Goldbook. He's always been a slightly tinted glasses guy.

You know why because he always has like a weird orange hat on or something, or he's saying something off rhythm that makes you forced to listen to him. That's why I offer them off.

Like those commercials he does for is it apartments dot com?

So yeah, does he do yummy for all we know?

But those the apartment dot com ones make me laugh. They're like good commercials.

It's genuinely just funny. The way he speaks is no matter what he says, it will sound funk.

Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yeah, you do need an apartment?

Right, yes, yeah.

He is yummy.

I think he's gone. He's got the money to buy nice looking transition lenses. I think that's the other he's probably paying what thirty.

Dollars a pair easily I mean right.

Also because his his lenses will usually be like they're going from light blue to dark blue.

Right.

As a standard algebra teacher, gray.

Ye, he's the only one that can afford iridescent transition lenses.

They're like comedian chameleon.

Comedian chameleon. Let's call this full podcast off.

Now, let's ask let's get back to Bridger because he is the guest. Yes on me, now, Bridger in your thirty because this is your first podcast, I said, no guests, is your first podcast that you've ever hosted.

In the thirty or so episodes.

That you've done, have you had any experiences that were shocking to you of being a podcast host, anything that stood out or anything fun that you want to share, things.

That have happened.

Let's see things and.

I can start you off with Emma Thompson, but you can start writing.

I well talk about Emma Thompson because thank you.

For bringing Emma Thompson into my life.

Bridge right, I'm introducing this young star. I feel like she may be in a movie at some point.

She's got she's got what it takes me. I just want to share she has it.

She's beautiful, she's intelligent, she's charming. Let's put her in a movie.

How do you? Why not? No?

I mean that was truly the wildest thing that's I mean, maybe ever happened to me outside of a podcast or not find out that Emma Thompson, I mean, Emma Thompson for me is like David Bowie level. Everyone loves this person. There's not a soul on the planet that doesn't like Emma Thompson. She's had.

She won an Oscar for writing and acting in the same film.

That's right, so cool and like and I think for everybody she's cool.

Yes.

So to find out that she was listening to my podcast for I mean, it was like a month before she was actually on it. I was fully convinced I was being scammed and then it was going to be a scam that ended in me killing myself because I was so excited. I was like, Emma jas is going to be on this and then I, you know, because she was in Scotland. We had to record at ten am or whatever. I woke up that morning. I was like,

Yes, Can I just say that.

I didn't listen to that episode for a while after it came out because for lots of different reasons. But it's I do a thing where I pre write things and then don't like them when I hear the real thing, and I ruin life for myself that way and have for many years.

But this one, I just had this thing where I was so excited and it was such an amazing like that story and everything that the fact that it's her is just so high level, like oh primo that I was like, you're you're gonna listen to it and you're not gonna like it, and so just don't you know what I mean, just like let it do what you think it is, imagine, because you feel like you can only be disappointed. And then I listened to it.

You handled yourself so fucking well for I don't know, I wouldn't have been such a weirdo and I think done very badly me too. You were so good at it, Bridger, and you were so like right there you were having a conversation with her, but you were super funny, so I could tell you were doing macro micro over and over with her.

It was just and it moved along, you know what I mean.

It was like we got in, you got into it and you know, had some fun, but then it was like you guys really talked about stuff.

It was just like a true delight. And of course the way she was on it was just exactly how I hoped and wished she would be and it was so fucking wonderful.

Well, I think that that truly only speaks to how cool Emma Thompson is because she's she's a household name, and she was totally normal and it was nice and fun to be to talk to. It was crazy. Yeah, I've been more intimidated by people. I've had other people on this podcast, so no one's ever heard of God bless them, but I'm more nervous with them because they bring a nervous energy. Emma Thompson was just normal and wonderful. And then we got to talk about vacuuming me. I mean,

Oh that's terri No.

That was very exciting and God bless her. I mean, we just we're all very lucky to have Emma Thompson in our lives.

Her daughter, I mean Instagram message and said, uh, we liked your episode of I said no gifts and I was like, oh, thank you.

I didn't know who I was talking to.

And then she sent a message a few days later and said, oh, we re enacted your fishing joke. We were fishing and my mom was pretending she caught a bird and pretended to reel it in and started fake crying. I'm like, oh, what a funny mom, and then she said my mom Samma Thompson and.

I was like, what the what I did?

Yeah?

I wanted to fact you and I did. And I'm like, yep, this is her daughter.

Yeah, lovely.

Yeah, and it's because your podcast.

It's actually we have guys to thank for all of it. Really, she's she's out there. She is a grassroots district manager in the UK for uh before I said no.

Guests, Oh, absolutely, she's getting the word out. I mean our listener base in the UK. I think we owe entirely to Guya wise, thank you. But yeah, that was exciting, and I'm trying to think of other things that have happened. You know, usually I'm shocked by like someone being on the podcast and the level of recording equipment they've brought, Like, how are we thinking here? Is this how you were

Yeah, if it's any consolation when I think back on doing your podcast, I don't I thought I was with you. I don't remember it being a zoom thing naturally. Yeah, we were natural.

It was so fun. We had so much fun.

Are you in the studio?

No, it was over zoom.

Oh yeah, yeah, it just is I see sorry.

Yeah yeah, it just felt comfortable and fluid.

And finally, I should say that, since the last time I saw you, your gravity has finally kind of taken hold of your Yeah. Yeah, it's great.

It's starting, and I don't know that I like it, but I'm gonna keep going.

I got a cut.

There's like a well it's wet right now, it's when it's dry there is.

It's got a right now has a bit of a Johnny Depp and sleepy hollow feel, or maybe even a tad of like a Beethoven, young Beethoven.

Oh yeah, yeah, what was that movie?

Is that?

No?

It is Mozart is the guy that was good and then he disappeared.

There is a Beethoven movie called Immortal Beloved, with motherfucking Gary Oldman stomping and throwing his head down on the piano like the guy from him up. You know that one buppet that plays the piano and gets really mad and then slams his own head on the piano.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, he's a bear.

No, no, you're thinking Fallsy.

Were talking about. Oh god, no, there is another.

There's a third, is it, mister t No, No, no, it's Sesame Street. It's like a Sesame Street interstitial Oh and it was this character and so it's a It was one of more of the more seventies ones.

And it's I think he's blue.

I think he looks like he's just a grover looking guy.

Yeah, but he's he.

I think the one I remember looked like an actual man, but his face was blue. And he starts to play the piano and then he messes up and then gets really mad and bangs on the piano, and it's as a child was so delightful.

Yeah what what? What message? What?

What?

How are they teaching kids with that? Don't get angry at your art? Yeah?

I think it was like, yeah, don't if you're frustrated, you don't slam your head into anything.

Although everyone willing.

It, Yes, it'll be really funny and good kid comedy.

What is the clip? Which muppet is it? Where have you guys seen this clip?

Where he's talking to a sweet little girl and she keeps interrupting him in the middle of the alphabet.

The Little black Man, and then at the.

End he's like, fine, I'm leaving, and then so the up goes off screen and then she's like, I love you, and then he comes back and he's like I love you too.

And then they kiss. It is it. It makes me almost cry thinking.

It's the cutest West. It's her with Kermit. So they're doing a thing and she's giggling yeah, and he's pretending to be mad. It is one of the like those early days SS. I mean, I have to say Sesame Street. I watched it every single day.

It was like the whole pattern of my day was like coming home from preschool or whatever, and then I would watch I would watch Sesame Street and then take a nap, and it was like this whole crucial But I mean, there are certain like sketches from from seventies Sesame Street that I'll remember forever.

I feel like they like my last.

It's such an important show. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't get taken away. When was it?

George W. Bush want to get rid of it.

I think it's like it's not well.

In the they wanted to defund public television, and Miss Chester Rogers went to the Senate and was like, what up Pools and made.

What he said, and a gold chain around his neck.

He smacked the microphone down.

No one ever thought he'd say that.

It's always a that's such a crazy move every time they tried to defund public television, because literally everyone loves these shows, has some nostalgic attachment to them, so it's just like we're coming to burn down your house.

Well, and also some for some people and some kids like it's the only education or educational anything they'll get that.

Isn't like by this serial. It's like it actually is. You can sit there and watch stuff. And then my dad used to force us to watch Cosmos and it used to make me really angry, and.

Of course as a child because I was like, that's just not borring, it made me nuts. Well, of course now it makes me feel smart and I know, you know, those like monologues by Carl Sagan about how we're all, you know, just little bits of stardust and all that shit.

That's like good stuff to have in your brain that might get forced in.

There I feel like we're like playing chicken with you. I feel like Karen and I are in the car and you're also in a car.

Yes.

Yeah, speaking of footloose, you're an attractor. I'm an attractor. That's my shoelace is caught.

You think you're right, it's just your shoelace.

But in the end, I windy. I'm a very unbalanced girl.

In the end, you dance under Sparkles. That was a perfect movie.

I watched it recently. It is so good.

It's so good, and he's so good Kevin Bickon, come.

On, Yeah, when is he not good?

He's always good.

And as a youngster who could dance, and also I thought he could do all those gymnastics he did in the Barn, which is that dance number that ends in him just fucking going around and around on some barn poles. First of all, how did that poll get there in that barn? That doesn't ever happen? Yeah, what's happened?

My favorite thing is he swings his body's going forward and he lets go and his momentum could only be a.

Backflip out of it. But then the next shot is from just diving and we all bought it. We're like, yeah, no, I just slipped over and started diving. Sure, yes, just to let off some steam.

Just he had to. He's frustrated from the bullying.

Yeah.

The problem with getting rid of bullying is it's gotten rid of frustration dances, which is one of the best ways.

Men could express themselves in high school. Yeah, yeah, no, No, I.

Mean when I got mad, I used to skateboard in a warehouse, like in Blaming the Cube.

But it's the same, the same situation.

It's the same feel and Gleaming the Cube. Do a bunch of people go into a warehouse and skateboard.

No, he goes by himself. He's mad at his dad. He's mad, that is Uh, his step.

Brother got murdered. There's a murder in it. It's a murder mystery. It's actually a very good movie.

I didn't And uhleaming the Cube, what does it?

What does it mean when we say gleaming the cube? What does that mean?

Nothing?

I never knew. It was never a skate phrase. It was.

It caused reluctance for me to watch the movie or jump on board. No one knows what gleaming the Cube means. It's made easy and I hate it. They should have called it something else. It's a jewelry term, jewel leaves the cube.

Yeah, yeah, it.

Should have been called ali as.

Everybody do some alis. That's the only skate move I know.

Yeah, it was called everybody and it was the same poster and everything.

I would have seen it.

Much, right, Karen, Have you ever skateboarded?

Well, funny you should ask.

When I was twelve, my dad one Christmas, I just had a I was given a skateboard.

I didn't ask for.

I didn't know this.

It was a stingray. It was plastic, very narrow.

And I for real, yes, well, my mom threw it away because when I turned like seventeen, my Mom's like, get all this shit out of the garage, and I was like, what's happening? What did I do? But I wrote it down to my friend Katie Neuberger's house. She lived at the end of the street. And are of course out in the country, right, So the street had just been paved and.

Then downhill did you palm a hill? No?

No, God no, the street had just been paved and then they had put some gravel over the top. I was this skateboard was so loud as I rode that. I was riding the middle street because we were out. I mean cars went by our house once every four hours. I was riding down the street real careful, but so loud that I couldn't hear the cars had lined up behind me. I'd stopped traffic on that side of the road because oh.

You were in the middle of the street like a goddamn boss.

Yes, but only because these were big empty streets all day and night most of the time. And then but this was like so and I didn't hear those cars coming and the graveling and the rumbling, like it was not a good surface to skateboard on anyway. Yeah, and then the sound went straight into my ears.

I think. Yeah, that was the last time I wrote on it.

Well, the sting ray of the ocean. It's not known for its speed, is that true. It's under the stand and the sand and stains your foot, That's all I know.

But it's notoriously loud, yes, so definite.

Yeah, it makes gravel sounds. It's weird.

It's very weird.

One of my when those when they were doing the debates, one of my favorite tweets I've ever seen is someone said, Mike Pence looks like the underneath of a sting ray.

He does the best thing of all time.

Oh my god, that's the best, is what he looks like. There is that little face under there, yeah, broad face. Let me explain how he looks.

Like the gi yes, the.

Yeah.

What else is going on? Ridgard?

What do you have any wisdom? Being we've all been in quarantine now for I think eight months. It's November one. Happy November everybody, Oh yeah, happy November.

Shaped off my mustache. It could have been for cancer.

Oh well, what a waste throw a mustache. So I've never looked into that growing a mustache for cancer.

It's ridiculous.

No one's ever donating to cancer. It's for testicular cancer on the heels of breast cancer awareness months, so it's like taking the wind out of that cancer. Your awareness is sales. Yeah, it's silly. It's just a reason for people to grow mustache.

Yeah in defiance, good move.

Yeah, But bridgerd do you have any any COVID quarantine? I don't know overall how weird life.

Is right now? Advice Let's see, like, how are you coping? Would you say, I'm I'm eating.

I'm making tacos at home five days a week. I will buy. Listen, if you can find a good homemade tortilla to purchase, absolutely do it because that's going to get you through Monday through Friday. The meal will be the exact same thing, and you'll like it every time.

Sorry, are you saying that you're buying tortillas like in your neighborhood.

Well, I'm buying them from a local place that makes them. Yeah, Like, we need to get the word out to Mexican restaurants make your tortillas. Really, I'm going to buy them from a factory. Your quality of your food will be diminished by at least seventy five percent. Wow, you have a nice tortilla you've made. That's I think we've underestimated it too long. Okay, I'm probably preaching to the choir to a lot of people that already know that. Oh yeah,

True?

So that's been for me a huge when I'm making tacos a NonStop, to the point that Jim is upset.

The old taco fight.

What else is going on? Let's see you other things.

Homemade tacos as a coping mechanism, I mean, homemade tortillas.

I love this.

Another thing I've found. You know, I make a lot of cookies. Yes, they transition to using a bread flour for a cookie. And this has changed my life.

What's the different bread flower?

It's just there's something extra special about it. It tastes way better. Really, I'm not kidding you know. I've used all purpose flour in my entire life. I've now I will swear by bread flour for the rest of my existence. Is getting a more toothsome treat?

I mean?

And what is a bread flower that?

To me? I have no idea. You just go to the grocery store, scan the shelves. You're sing, okay, you're single, whole weet, You're singing bread cake, bread flour.

Do you think it rises better? Does it make them cakeier?

It doesn't make them cake It makes them more like bread, I guess, which. I don't know if that sounds good to people, but I'm shocked by the way it tastes. It's wonderful. It's like a fully different cookie.

For me.

I made enough cookies at this point to say I know how to make a cookie.

Yeah.

I mean the one time I made cookies for someone else, they were horrible, and so that person, if you talk to them, don't believe what they're saying. Because I'm trying to off in too many ingredients and I ruined the cookies. I didn't taste them before I gave them to them. Oh, and I was humiliated. That's something you need to do before you make something for somebody, before you give it to them, taste it.

I'm sorry you made cookies for someone and ate none of the dough or the baked cookies until.

Yeah, I gave it to them. Oh, I had them. I was mortified. I was like, this is not a good product. And they're probably they're over there being so polite saying these are good. These taste like garbage.

Were they chocolate chip?

They were chocolate chip. But I also put in espresso powder. Oh, love would deepen the flavor, but it just made them taste like chalk.

Yeah, I wouldn't espresso powder.

You put in brownies?

Oh okay, that's good.

Okay, did you call and say hey, I have to say I apologize for these cookies.

I just tried it. I should have called. I texted.

I know that's something that's a text worthy, but yeah, you can text.

I probably should have written a letter.

Of apology, a formal let letter of apology.

I should have had my lawyer contact them and let them know that there would be compensations. Text and it seemed to do the job.

You know what's fun? Sorry?

Were you?

I wasn't gonna say. I was looking at the beautiful sunset.

I know we're experiencing quite the sunset over here. Do you want to see it?

Yes? Please? I didn't know this whole time you were looking out a window. Yes, Oh wow, glorious.

Isn't that nice?

That's a little bit like going on a drive. Christ It was like a little experience.

Are you there?

I am still here? Okay, okay, wait yeah.

My picture cut out. I think we're fine. We just saw.

Web browser and I'm not going to I'm not going to say what I saw to my stomach.

When we sat down for this computer, we both were set up all our stuff and we're just like, how are we going to do?

This is so weird?

And then I clicked on something to open the emails so that we could go onto this zoom and it went on to my Google search. So we were both just staring at the Google Search. You want to tell everybody what.

It was Back to the Future character. There was like the Wikipedia of Back to the Future characters. Karen, do you want I mean, can we.

Get into it?

Always is something a private matter?

No, no, we can get into it.

I am. I'd love to defend myself because I didn't even think about how that it could be interpreted in other ways, and of all the things you could be embarrassed by when you open.

Up your browser.

I had made a reference in this thing I was writing, and I said, it's just like when Marty McFly is disappearing, because it's the same feeling. And then I was like, wait a second, was his name Marty McFly? And then I had to because like all of a sudden, I couldn't remember.

I was like, I don't want to. I want to make sure I'm referencing the right person.

You guys, the requid has stop.

Just now?

Oh it just not right now?

Just now?

Oh? Perfect? Well, I mean not perfect, but at least we caught it.

And we're talking. I have bad news. Also, Wait, mine also has stopped. Wait when did your stuff? I don't know?

Okay, all right, this first guest back.

I know, I know, I know, I know. I just broke out into a sweat and I feel really good.

Well, I mean, we have recordings of everybody so up to this point.

I mean, yeah, I don't think anyone will be mad. We can just we can have a disclaimer maybe or.

Just transition to zoom. Let's just eat leave all.

I mean, I really we might as well. I really apologize you guys.

You've been listening to. Do you need a ride?

D I M A R?

Come?

Thank you?

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim, and give us time and a terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style. Do you wanna welcome.

You back home?

Tell us all about it?

We scared her?

Was it fine? Malcorn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need rides? Do rides? Do you mean.

With Karen and cress h