S2 - Ep. 35 - Q&A Catch-Up, Part 1

Are you leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and.

Give us time and a terminol and gay a.

We want to send you off InStyle.

We want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Now?

Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgara.

We are in the middle of what do.

You call it, a global pandemic.

It's catchy.

We're going to talk about our feelings and then we're gonna scream.

Then we're scream which is also therapeutic.

I would like to say, I'm trying to find the silver lining and all the kind of very creepy clouds that are around us right now. I drove ninety five miles an hour down the one oh one at three forty five in the afternoon. That's a goddamn miracle. It's never happened. I don't think and.

It's it's therapeutic. It feels good because I've seen other people do it.

I'll be honest. I was run once I got off the freeway. I was running yellow lights. I was still going about eighty five like it's I'm enjoying the complete lack of cars.

It's it's funny like in the last couple of weeks, I realized how much people really like that Matt Max movie because they are acting like they're in it, yes, aggressively. At first I thought people were acting like Dick's and now I noticed people are just being friendly from a distance, and I'm appreciating it. But yeah, I haven't been driving much. I've been adhering to this thing.

Yeah, me too.

It's it almost is a bummer how easy it's been for me to.

Adapt to this.

It is.

It has been absolutely no adjustment from my normal life, except for I don't feel bad anymore.

Yeah, exactly.

All I ever wanted was permission to not contribute, and I'm not and I'm not making light.

For a lot of people. This is a big deal for poor people.

Old I think of old no cool in an old folks home, who already know go wants to visit their smelling grandma and now they're just fucking sitting there present. I understand that it's a big deal, but I've been sort of enjoying it, so then I feel bad.

Oh, I wouldn't do that. What's the point of that, because this is all bad. This is bad for everybody. You don't have to know the ice special qualifiers.

Yeah, the permission for isolation I've been appreciating. Yeah, and I but when I when I've heard people post quotes though that are like, now's the time to focus on yourself.

Treat it like a spa retreat or something.

I'm like, okay, not everyone has the luxury of this being like a cleansing experience, you know what I mean.

Would it be different for you if it said treat yourself like you're on a camping trip indoors?

Yeah, and I'm like, I'm doing that.

I am thank you.

Quote that's from that's.

My wallpaper you're talking about, says Chris, Yeah, holding a.

Lantern up as I really am glad. I did that to my bedroom. For a while, I didn't know why I did that.

I thought it was very strange, and now yeah, I've just been camping.

Yeah, I mean things are really coming into focus in this global pandemic slash quarantine time.

It's strange, though, you still got guys like this.

You know, he's making the most of it by writing in the middle of the fucking lane.

He's by himself as long as you're by yourself. Our governor, what's his name? Gavin Newsom? Newsome sent a nice letter out via social media and skateboarding was on it. Oh really, go hiking, biking, skateboarding. He puts skateboarding on it. I'm like, oh man, the guy can probably do a kickflip. No, I didn't realize how handsome he.

He's handsome, he's young. And my sister just told me. She said, this is unprovable family gossip. But he grew up in the mission distarched in San Francisco, just like my mom and her family.

Uh huh.

And my dad said he believed from stories he's been told that my grandmother is Gavin Newsom's godmother. Oh wow, but it's such a My sister told me that on the phone the other day, and there was like five seconds where I was genuinely excited, and then I was like, what the fuck am I?

Who cares?

It's probably the most distant weird you didn't earn that, like glory moment.

Still exciting because he's our little Justin Trudeau.

He's California's answer to that hot Canadian piece of ass trust Justin Trudead.

I just ordered his calendar.

Mostly it's him drinking people syrup straight out of the tree.

It's all Canadian based, so hot. But yeah, it's I was happy to see.

That's as long as you're skateboarding with friends center six feet away from you, which you're never in tandem.

No, that sound cool, right, so I've been.

Doing Yeah, it's not us board built for two with.

Like one arm around each other. I love both skating.

I just didn't getting to know these guys. They're agent. No, no, I won't.

It's hard to bring it up. You guys want to, I don't know. Let's skate on the same board to pull out like a double lung.

Let's get goofy foot it. Oh, Karen, you just Karen, don't that would.

Just mean your right foot forward?

You knew that well, I know. But it isn't about surfing or is it both?

I think? Yeah, surfing is what named it that?

Yeah?

Yeah, but does skateboarding get a lot of things from surfing.

Yeah, so this, Yeah, it's just I love her.

That's what I was just doing on the freeway going ninety five.

Crank in your pandemic mix.

It is, Yeah, a lot of a lot of the terminology surfing started it that skateboarding came along in the sixties.

That makes sense.

Yeah, so goofy. Yeah, I don't know why. It's about half the population rides, but they're maybe more people are regular footed. It's actually kind of a nasty name. It really is right forward to discuss. They're not goofy at all. They're just like you and me.

They're not different. And stop calling at the Chinese virus.

Yeah, exactly, just because they're long landed and you can't trust them.

Just because of those two reasons, it doesn't mean they're goofy.

It doesn't mean it's goofy. It's totally valid. I footed.

I don't want to sound alitos, but the three guys I skated with this morning all regular footed. I'm just saying it was a coincidence. I noticed it.

Nor Like you're in a room pull of white people are.

Your new skateboard friends, and you say they're age appropriate, so they're not twelve.

No, no, these guys, no, they are yet a lot of times, it's so funny how normal it was for me to exchange phone numbers and make appointments to go skate with guys.

That were in their late teens. Yeah a few years.

Did they have their own phones? Or do you have to talk to their mom for their mom?

I end to bring him home by dead.

Her mom looked you up on It's sex offender list. You got cleared. Everything was there's no red dot over your apartment.

You're free to babysit.

Have you looked one of those fucking things up?

Yes, I'm afraid.

So in your own neighborhood, it's like, oh my god.

Looks like a twister boy.

Each color is a different severity, and they're on all four sides of me out every everywhere.

I can borrow sugar from the worst of offenders.

Please stay at least six feet away from every sex offender in your neighborhood. That's the new Gavin Newsom rule. Now, did Gavin Newsom right go skater go home? Or did he just say you can go skateboarding?

He said skater die, actually, which I thought in the circumstances, you know what, not good word choice.

My grandma said.

He was like, oh, you and your grandma? What is here? God brother?

He's uh, he would be my god uncle because oh my god, you gotta let him know he's.

Your god uncle.

I'm gonna try to get a ventilator. I mean, why not use a fucking juice while I have it.

You gotta get one, as the god niece wreth the ventilator at least one. Now here's you want a mask? Remember when Trump was tossed in toilet papers? Yeah, in Puerto Rico.

Well, I just want to mask.

I hear you.

I've been looking.

You can make them by hand. That the crafty person that you are, you know you can hand make one for yourself.

Well, so then I'm basically wearing one when I put a bandana around like I'm about to rob a train.

No, no, I mean, I mean you can actually sew one that's like N fifteen five.

You can make it so that it closes at the top.

Huh, And it's all that's the point of the specific com Okay, and.

Does that have a little ventilator on or a little event You can put.

One on or a button, or you can sew your initials onto it.

I do want I mean I want to look good first and foremost, but I also want it to have the function.

Of a proper to keep, to keep you alive.

Also not a sewer. I mean I can do other things with my hands, but I don't have a machine.

Oh I thought for some reason, I thought you were into kind of oddly into.

I am ye, why whatever it takes.

My dad was a reupholstered some couches, like he's a good sewer, but he's the one that put all of my patches on my jackets.

Nice.

Yeah, there's no story of you sewing.

And then you need to learn to sew.

Didn't you sew curtains or something?

I have my hand with a needle and threat, but I got the time.

Fuck it, what do you have?

When I lived with my buddy Ross, he started a little snowboard company and he learned to sew and made the glove, made all the mittens.

That's amazing.

Yeah, yeah, you worked hard.

Where's Ross? Now?

We need Ross? Please sew me a mask?

Yes, how about you make tons of do you need to ride masks?

We'll pay you.

I'll call him on the phone. I'm yelling at him right now, like he's outside the window.

Ross, are you hearing that?

Ross?

Please?

Ross stopping selfish? We need this.

I dropped off some food at this for a food bank. It was at a church.

I just got whatever it is. That's what I don't understand is why toilet paper? Why is it because people feel like they have control.

Yeah, and it's cheap so they can go in and buy all of it and it doesn't actually break the bank, and then they their fear of like what if I have to shit into my own hand is cured.

Yeah, I guess that's a fear of people.

I mean, but it's very prime prime mordial.

Well, it's primitive to shit in your hand, Yes, especially if you throw it.

I mean, at that point, that's.

Monkey behaviorasty business, that's monkey business.

They're in the business of tossing in business. But I have a day that I.

Received after coincidentally telling a bunch of Pooh stories on podcasts.

They gave me one. I quit it.

I installed it. That's great, So I've been using that. I still got baby wipes. I'm just doing that. Don't flush well, don't flush. Oh, they are fleshable.

Great. At the dollar store they say flushable.

Most of them are Do you think they have a stamp that they put that on the things when they need to.

Sell them, it said flushable and the time most of them have a Ghostbusters circle crossover a toilet.

But do not, do not please. We don't care how cute your baby is.

But that when that trend kicked up, people adults, adult people using baby wipes on their own ass.

I was so baffled by that. What are people doing that they need all this extra?

And then right then they and they're they're like, get a load of this, and then they show you their pristine, pristine, clean, pink little bumhole.

Like a cat. It bleach, No, did you get a tail? Oh?

I was. You weren't supposed to focus on that.

Have you seen there's your primordial ass primortial.

Have you seen there's a fucking internet video and it's a guy standing in the empty parking lot of like a motel that's by the freeway, and he's pointing at this red card and he's like, yeah, see see that red carver. There there's a guy in there. I walked by the window. I don't know what's going on around here. But I walked by the window and he yelled out his window, hey, I'll give you a chocolate chip cookie if I can look at your asshole. And he's like,

It's the funniest thing I've ever just like it a dirty dad joke. The guy just made. It's a joke. It didn't really happen.

Oh, he's just being funny in this super darty way.

It's like he took it and showed the guy's use.

Wait, I'm sorry. Was this a big yeah? But it's a dad's video. He's like, hey, I'm oh, sorry.

I should have said I meant dad like a dad joke, Like yeah, yeah.

That seems like, yeah, look what I almost stepped in rude ofphen it's Santa Claus was ship in his hands, right, isn't that the.

Around? Look what I almost.

Stepped in with shed in your hands was always It's a classic, one of my dad's classics. But to see that play out in seventies VHS footage.

It's beta Beta Beta Max.

Oh shit, I didn't favorite God damn it. Why do I do that? I don't have it? How old Steve Stevie Stephen.

Littee, little Stevie Wonder who records the songs?

And it's a harmonica.

He has no friends. He gets so good as the harmonica.

Oh too good at it. But he took him away. He has friends now, just like the Jonas Brothers.

All right, I've been sort of meaning to watch that documentary think you have? I mean, I watched The Backstreet Boys one I should watch the Jonas Bros.

Was the backsp Boys? Good? It's great, They're great guys.

I'm not so mad at him for no reason, just because they said Backstreet's back. All right, back from what? It's such a breakout hit. You know you're not back from shit. You just got here, you just arrived.

I think that was the nineties.

It was a time where everybody automatically hated everything, and it was like very Dennis Leary smoking a cigarette.

It's very Mark Marinny.

Yeah, you know that was back when it was like all anyone wanted to do was shit on things and take umbrage with things. So like yeah, we just did things like that automatically back.

Then, And so they were trying to bypass the initial hate by saying, hey, we've been here, you can't hate it.

Maybe we're back.

I just mean because you were saying why did I hate them? And it's like, oh, okay, we had no choice.

Those where gars.

Yeah, we're doing it. We had no other options. We didn't know what else we should do.

I call it the marritime, and it's my marriedtime, the marriedtime law.

But Maren, but Marin time, Marin time.

Yeah.

Yeah. Also I didn't like the music, true. Yeah, so in fairness to me, it were you were right. But then why do I have those whole song memorized? Like I watched this documentary, I knew all their body of.

Music well because it was on the radio constantly. That was back when, trust youeral radio was more of a thing. It was pre internet, it was pre cell phone. It was still very we had things forced on us.

Speaking of pre internet, pre cell phone. But viral videos that would be a dad joke anyway. Okay, let's just admit I'm changing the subject. Martha gave me a video way back that reminds me of what But it was great Martha Kelly, some the amazing Martha Kelly. She had a videotape that was puppets, but it was set to audio that this guy acquired by recording his neighbors. They were like drunk older men that lived together. I don't know if they are a couple or just roommates, but

There's a documentary about it, Like we could figure it out in one.

So oh is there? Oh wow, okay, because it's it's like I.

Hate you with my whole heart or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, something.

It's really awful of it.

Yeah, I wonder if that would hold up.

At the time, it was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen, this this fountain. Oh, I think so to muppets, but it's what crank Ankers ended up being.

I'm sure that that was.

You know, the basis for making that show.

Do you know that my friend Laura, who I missed terribly as usually.

Well, but she did this.

Thing and now I don't know which is say her name because but it's amazing they used to have oh you know what, I can say her name because she isn't the one who did it.

Ye.

Well, yeah, remember think.

Hit full breakdown.

There we are.

I realized, I realized we should sing way more on this show, because who's going to slop us with a with the training musical restraining order?

Anyway? When there's a global pandemic, who cares?

Come and get me, Come and get come and get the legal system to support you.

Bring a six foot hook to put him around my neck? So I assume they'll grab me, like pulling me off stage.

Yeah, they'll yank you out of the car. What does that dog doing? Oh chocolate, what are you doing? Oh yeah, that's a good one. He's like, I don't feel like going anymore.

Yeah he's old.

Don't make me walk anymore.

I love a dog with bad hips.

He's a bad hit.

Look at him.

He would absolutely murder anyone that came towards your child.

I love that dog.

So Laura had a boyfriend who had an upstairs neighbor in this apartment, and the guy would come home from work. He was British and get shit face drunk, and he had his own karaoke machine in his apartment, which was not common back then, this was like early nineties, and he would sing the songs, but then he would start talking about the people he worked with in the song.

So he would basically make up a song about people.

That he hated and all the people that are driving him crazy, they're hearing it. They he was recording it himself, and one day the boyfriend or the friend of the boyfriend, some like a couple people out, which is why I think it's okay to tell the story, went upstairs and stole the tape and so we to listen to this tape. We would get drunk and come home from bars and then put the karaoke British karaoke.

Guy on Amazing.

We built this city kind of like my friend Larry that works for the city and he has bad breadth back this.

City exactly, and usually it was more like it would be my way, but he'd be like, no, fuck you Diane.

When he wants to kill Diane.

We all hate our coworkers. Look, that's how it is. Yeah, it was amazing.

And when you're drunk, it's even more amazing because you're drunk.

Everything's great when you're drunk.

Yeah, and I suppose when I do karaoke, I have to have drinks because it scares me more than stand up.

I want to do it, but I don't have the best voice.

Of course, Yeah, there I got, but I there are always little Shakespearean asides. And it has to be about your life unless you got dirt on the record wording artists.

Who are you gonna talk smack about? New lyric Who are.

You gonna call? Don't flush this.

In a minute?

Now?

Explain you said earlier the Ghostbusters thing was around the whites, and I wanted to do that.

Then I wanted to do it.

Then I'm glad you put that in your pocket.

Oh gross, some things you let marinate. Just o quit.

We're all thinking about baby wife, So gross marinating baby.

And it's been agret a baby wife.

Don't this.

Just some promotional video about sewage septic systems, some announcement from the city.

You know that happened though in the eighties because that song was everywhere.

You know, people did that to everything, and.

I probably knew it and memorized it just like I did.

We're in the Money with a scholarship from Crest. Yes, I can't. Why are these commercial jingles in my head?

Because we just took them in with total innocence, Like we just absorbed them and actually kind of listened to them as children.

What if someone was reading me mathematics. I know they probably were, and I wasn't listening. They're in the song glass my mind was collecting. Yeah, yeah, I know, a bill becomes a law. Unfortunately I have to sing it. It's embarrassing.

I was going to say, some people always try to get me to do karaoke, and I finally realized that it was because someone else told me. They were like, of course you don't want to do it. You can't drink, and I was like, oh, yeah, that's the key. It's like you can't get high and sing. That makes it even worse. You're like so self conscious and crazy. Drinking is the only way it works, and like it's not an option.

So yeah, and unfortunately years of drinking ruin your voice.

Yes, that's right, my instrument I am.

When I went to the Tattle Tale in Culver City. I think I've talked about that place before. It was that's when I first started going to this regular karaoke place because the group of people there would never otherwise be. There's cowboys over here. There's guys that look like they've probably killed people over here.

There was a Vietnam veteran.

There was a guy from Vietnam that was in the Vietnam War and his friend was a Vietnam veteran, and they both were friends, and they're like, we were all both in the war, but on the opposite side. You and they would sing duets together.

I'm telling you.

And I befriended this lady and we did a duet. We was saying, I just called to say I.

Love you together her idea. I still sing the song in her honor.

She died And then I went back one time and there was like a guy there crying and he said she died, and I'm like, I was just thinking of calling her. So I kept going there and singing with these people, just these different It was really interesting. There's a documentary called Karaoke Fever and That's why it's so bizarre. It's like so many different types of people and all they share is this.

Love for karaoke.

It's this whole world and I don't want to be in that world, but I do too late.

I want to sing too late. We're going big.

Part of it.

What I don't understand is when people rent out one of those little rooms and sing to their friends and loved ones, well makes me nervous.

I think it's that's funny.

I have done that before in New York City because there's some place. Of course, New York is like there's there's no space, so it's like everybody just gets their own little room. And that was actually super fun because it was like, say, it's ten people from work, so you don't care about whatever anyone else thinks. You're just kind of trying to have fun with your group.

Yeah.

And I think I've told you this story, But my friend Hayley, who's really one of the funniest people I've ever known, but when she would get super drunk, she was so hilarious and she did this thing where she put on her song and then and I think it was an ab A song from what I remember dancing queen. And then she walked out the door of the room and shut it so she could do an entrance.

Oh that's greater.

And then but then she kept missing her cue because she was drunk and she was just standing in the hall. She couldn't hear the song, and so then this song would just keep playing weed, I'll be like crying, laughing. And then she come and go oh okay again, started again and started againting.

She did it like five times, missed the cue. You can't hear it. But she is like I had to do entrance everybody.

Oh that's amazing.

I think if you have a private room, you can get way more fucked up than you normally would, right.

Yeah, I just my sister always wants to sing, like she got a little karaoke machine. And once we went as a family and for some reason, I don't, I get real nervous singing in front of my dad.

I'll do my stand up, but the singing.

Does he judging you? Is he holding his chair and nodding?

I don't think so. I think he's just well, I don't know. I can't even make eye contact. Well, it's got to be strangers only.

Yeah, that makes Sense Stranger or something dot com. I did back when Greg Barren and Dave Anthony were still doing Walking the Room, Yeah, legendary podcast. Yeah, I did it one time and Greg asked me if I would do one of my songs because it was like around the time I was doing those songs. But we were up in his like a walking closet in his upstairs bedroom, and Dave had to leave because he was so like uncomfortable with the vulnerability of me just playing rightings. Some

Yeah, I had a part. Well, I don't know.

They're like, I love Henry Phillips and I love what he does. I love it's comedy. I love it songs. But when we were at a party and everyone's around a fire or something and the guitar comes out, I do admit I get a little nervous. Yeah, like when it's intimate and it's like in a weird way, he's not looking right in my eyes, but he's sort of serenading me, and it's you know, there's a there's a I guess the romance and with singing, it's true it's a small group of people.

Well, it's you know what it is, it's vulnerability. It's when you're singing. That was the reason that I started doing it is because it scared me so much that when I very first started like singing on stage, I could barely breathe, I could barely get the words out. And then it became this thing of like I am not fucking letting this get to me, Like I am going to get it to the point where I can actually sing these songs out loud.

And that was just my.

Goals, Like it's so hard and vulnerable, and you might as well just do this of course.

Yeah, And that's what stand up was the only reason I'm not afraid to do is stand up is because I do it more right.

And stand up.

You're not vulnerable because you keep on making jokes. So it's like any moment of vulnerability, you just build that wall real quick. Yeah, you make them laugh and you get them away from you, And that's how you earn your space and protect your vulnerability.

Exact my whole act, I'm just getting away from the previous joke but doing the next.

One, building another Wall plus. As a kid, no one ever said you should be a singer. It was usually the comedy.

You know.

My dad used to say, can you sing far far away? Classic insulting dad Joe, Oh that's great.

Yeah, I didn't like it.

Just holding a cookie. Didn't like it.

This guy rid of here.

He did it the perfect point on holding the phone up but pointing past your own phones.

Yeah.

I really emerged singing in a car and someone saying, yeah, who sings this?

And I'm like, oh uh why I said yeah.

I think at the time it was ever clear terrible myth, But then I was like, oh, everclear.

He's like, yeah, let's keep it that way.

A ship dad actually hurt my real Yeah that if it gets you and he has passed anyway, what your cat?

Oh no, the.

Guy, the guy who said that I was driving singing ever clear myth.

It was my buddy's at Oh no, it's okay, I got it.

You know, we get we get on and run a fun time, fun friend, funny and you know I got to bring it down with some death.

It's always on my tongue.

It's my favorite. Wait, no, I'm sorry because we drove by it. Dunkin donuts and it was open.

Do you think drive through Starbucks is considered necessary? It can't be.

Well, I went yesterday to the drive through. I went, it's still one, the one that we normally go to.

It's still open.

I went on the way before chickening out to help with the food bank.

They didn't have masked cir gloves and I was out. I can't.

I'm that's fine.

But on the way there, I walked into a Starbucks and I'm like, how is this different?

But now they are.

I think what was going on just four or five days ago is completely different.

Yeah than now.

But if we found a drive through one, we could get our yeah, coffee and then finally, oh, we're supposed to answer qu and make questions.

Oh that's right.

Well we had to, you know, we had to get our We had to first of all, connect because it's been like a month, right.

Yeah, we had to dust off the friendship.

We had to make sure it was still.

It's shining and sparkling. It's under a layer a mock.

It looks like that head that Indiana Jones sligns in the cave.

Yeah, why wasn't it Dusty.

The beautiful head wasn't dusty way back in that fucking cave.

It always bothered me. There's dust everywhere. The head wouldn't have been shiny.

They also bag his sand so exact.

So exactly, Yeah, the exact way.

Oh you knew, because you're so smart.

Oh you knew it'd be exactly eight pounds.

You know what.

That movie's perfect. We can't even do this to it because it's a perfect film.

I was doing a character. That's why I had to change my voice, because I didn't believe what he was saying. I refer to him as a heat.

He is that you were playing a heat. It's very male of you to negate Indiana.

Jones, there wouldn't be dusty darks.

I have a male character as well.

Yeah, yours has a slight stutter.

You know, he's looking a bit, acting like it knows everything. Okay, the big thing. You didn't get under that thing in time. Just by the way, just so you know, no one's.

That's tide of hand. I'll tell you that much. I'm a magician, uncle.

No one's that good at whips. And you know it, and I know it too.

We all know.

Occasionally whipping your own face when you practice in the backyard with your hat.

It's more of a hat, but I tell your head.

Look, nobody can get a hat like that. It looks that cool, you know what. I feel like.

I'm going right into a polly walnuts area, the old polly walnuts, poly walnuts from the sopranos.

Okay, yeah, Poulie with a silver on the side. I've been wanting those silver wings. Oh yeah, I'm growing out my hair and I would it be weird if I just had silver comb over with things that I yes, so I guess it would be hirre.

Yeah, I'd wait on that.

You've got some time, You're right, I should wait until I around people. That's a drive through stuff.

Oh look at all those cars.

Hey, we got nothing but time.

Those guys are all going in.

It's nice and safe.

Okay.

Wait, oh, I see where I am. I thought I was one street down.

Because what about the one that's cut like on the way back. So I just get into that line. Looks a little crazy.

It is six cars. We can do that. Okay, that's twelve beverages. Stop.

Look, everybody thinks they can't go to the drive room, but they can't.

Yeah, I'm assuming they're by the pool beverage Park.

I couldn't think of the word rules. That's because domin I used to work in the mine. The shaft of the mine, the worst part.

Oh, softball area. Did you see that sign?

I want it?

It's caution softball area. It's so funny. It's not until you're locked up in a house less. It's been raining, so it's it's helped. But I want to go play softball now, got it? I want to play.

Gotta got to, I got to and I want to. Softball didn't make it onto our Justin Trudeau list.

That motherfucker's trying to take softball away. And there's a lot of girls named Shelby in northern California that won't have it.

They won't have it with a fast underhand.

Okay, when I said six, it's before these four cars showed up.

There's literally one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

We're the tenth car.

Well, now that we're let's go, let's do some questions just since we're in a line.

Let's do it.

Yeah, oh yeah, we'll do another episode and continue to dust off our shiny friendship.

You know it's funny. I was telling you earlier.

But I'll tell the listeners at home and at work wherever you might be right now, hopefully not at work.

Bathtub listening to.

And us under right underneath Pavaratti.

It's a great, great accompaniment.

I forgot what it was gonna say.

Oh, you might be at work, you might anyone listening. I need to know before that attention that we're about to dust off our shiny friendship.

Yeah, and then you said it's.

Because it is.

Oh, I was just going to say, I have been listening to this podcast and lots of podcasts, because that's kind of how I spend my daytime.

Is I'll clean my house or do something like a you know, give.

Myself like a task, and then listen to podcasts and it feels like I'm socializr amazing.

My apartment is spots so spotless amazing.

I realized too.

I think part of me is getting ready for when people will one day come over again.

Like I want to keep everything right.

Got to stay hopeful.

Yeah, even if we know that half the state might get this in some way, whatever we're going to have party, it's going to pass.

At some point.

There will be parties again.

These are blind promises. I do not have the data to back up what I mean.

These are the kind of things you say when you have to say things like that. Yeah, yeah, and we'll and we'll say them.

Yeah hell yeah.

The other day I probably wouldn't have, But today I was in that baby position, you know, fetal.

That's fine, he's fine.

I better come out of us with some cool art.

I'm sure you will.

Oh, but I guess my point was just listening to this, I just need to feel the need to say that I never stop laughing during this podcast. But it's because you are so funny. But I listened to the podcast, I'm like, I sound like a mental patient.

I just am laughing the entire time.

When we first started, all I was trying to do is make you laugh.

That's the point.

And that's all. Yeah, that's all I've ever heard. That's all I got.

Yeah, that's all we have in trouble times.

But thank you.

Yeah, of course, it's well, it is.

It's fun to actually see why people enjoy the thing you like.

That's a nice feeling.

Yeah, and have them very close.

He needed to get to his home in the Glendale Hills.

Oh.

Also, it's a seventeen year old girl.

Yeah, she this is bizarre. I mean we are almost kissing me.

Not a great plan, but that's fine.

You that's not six feet sir. I don't know where your car's being.

The person just blocked them more.

I mean they they could have handled that differently.

I think, I think so.

But you know what what it always is, and that circumstance a fucking BMW every time.

Hey, no, of fancy if you're out there and you get but if it's new, sorry fuck you.

If you got it used and it's cool and you worked on it.

Maybe, but still, you know something happens to people in BMW, or if.

You bought it and you're like, well, am I going to look like a douche? It's such a nice car? Hey, I get it.

I've been behind the wheel wearing a disguise because I don't want anyone to see I'm in an asshole car.

What kind of disguise do you? Where is it? It must.

One of us, I guess.

A guy who doesn't finish sentences mustache.

Drive and drive the senor's voice. Oh you know that?

Oh I know what's that from you?

When you draw a little milk on your hands.

You know, maybe I'll do that tomorrow during my lock in. Do different draw different faces on my hand yep.

Senor very good?

It does, really very good.

Have you ever done the putting eyes on your chin and then looking someone else has to do it and then watch their mouth talk with the eyes so their chin is the top of that. Yeah, that always looks pretty funny.

That blows your mind.

It still does.

Man, I don't need acid and uh, you know shrooms and ludes and uppers and quakers and downers and up and ups and side jammers.

You don't even need side jammers. That's how great putting two googly eyes on your chain is.

Yeah, that's a drug to me.

Yeah, I got it.

First question is that Tom.

Petty in the car behind us?

Oh?

Wow, the re animated corps.

Have you've seen the It's on YouTube, Tom Petty and Carry Shandling where neighbors carry Shandling and Tom Petty hanging out in his recording studio. Yeah, they were like real life neighbors. And it's right before. I can't remember who died first. Oh that's good. They both died very similar. Yeah, and they were Tom Petty is so funny. He's just dry, and was listening to him talk and waiting his turn, and he'd fucking throw out a zanger.

Because he's the genius.

They yeah, they it made me.

And he had like old equipment like his You could tell he'd lived in that house for a long time and he's still recorded in his studio and it was kind of like seventies looking sound.

Yeah, he's just.

Yeah, he's the coolest. You know.

There's I think I've told you about this before, but there is a video clearly Tom Petty is on hard drugs, like probably acid or heroin, and they're doing break down, go ahead and give to me, and he during the bridge of that song put like I don't know if he takes his guitar off or if he's not playing it. Whatever happens, he walks over to the backup singers and like goes and hugs him for a while, and they're just like they don't really know what to do. They just keep singing the refrain.

Basically gonna say it's on acid. Well, I've never done to heroin.

Right, You're right. Acid's more of a reach out and touch.

I've never felt better than on it. I highly read recommend it.

Sorry, all the other ones I prayed will loserees aids for winner. Everyone should try it once a year, but remember you're gonna do it and like around four pm, and then you will not come down for hours and hours and hours.

When I say it's great, it's while you're a week. Well, you're awake.

When you go to sleep, you will see flaming spinning Mickey Mouse heads and they do not stop multiplying.

Are you saying mine?

Is that?

Mine was goofy, no spinning, goofy faces.

I saw Mickey Mouse spinning heads.

Are you serious?

Yeah? And I'm like, why Mickey Mouse? I don't even care about Disney.

That's what I said. It was goofy spinning like that. That's all folks. Circle But just like stewed.

Would it be interrupted by you imagining getting shot by a machine gun?

No?

Okay, So it wasn't all Disney.

It wasn't the happiest place.

I was very disappointed in myself though, for the Like I close my eyes and would come up and it would come up in like in like five across five down grid of spinning goofy heads, and and then I just opened my eyes again and go.

You gotta be fucking kidding out.

You have a celloud things in come? We do that mine? Yeah?

And are you related to Kevin?

I think Jim Hamilton, he's we are our friend h Nate had a birthday and we did it was like a Smarties candy and I and I had I was the funnest time I've ever had. But he stayed at my place and he was in the living room. I was in my bedroom and neither of us could sleep. And I think he mentioned that he was seeing Mickey mouse heads and then all of a sudden that turned on the switch. So I Jim started it so it

Horrifying. Okay, sorry, I'm going to pause you.

I want to tell everybody we have so many gift cards from Starbucks that every person in this car should get at least one food item along with their coffee drink, just so we can start using up these gift cards, right And you.

Don't even have one on me if you oh, I have in my purse.

But if you need a sandwich. Stephen, Please don't be afraid to order yourself a dessert or whatever you want.

You just have to remember to eat very closed now. Oh yeah, yeah, well hate.

That it is gross.

Yeah, unless you're totally getting off on it, and that it's a different thing, you should be paying for it.

Yeah right right?

Oh yeah, if you like it, I'll rub on some vinyl while I eat, if that's here.

If whatever shakes your.

Shakes, you, can I help you today?

Hi?

A couple drinks? Can I get a triple tall one pump mocha?

What do you want? I'll have it? Yes, a vanilla almond milk latte? Do they do that?

Yeah? I can?

And can I get a grande almond milk latte with vanilla?

You got it? Ste You want your hot, hot, hot please in just one pump up the vanilla? Please?

Thank you, thank you, Stephen? Could I actually try the Golden ginger drink?

Would you?

And then?

Could I get a double smoked bacon and cheddar sandwich.

Do you have the rice crispy treats?

Yes? I do?

Do you want one?

Yeah?

Can I get two of those? Please? And then we're done?

Oh?

I can't wait.

Oh, guys, it's so normalizing to be here at Starbucks.

I want to cry. It feels so normal.

Yeah, I feel it's it's comforting, it's nice. I don't want that lying to ever oh.

Good, because it won't.

Did I ever say Patrick Thornton gave us one and it says, uh, skip the straws, save the turtles.

Patrick, Patrick Thornton. We always do, We always do.

Pat.

Thank you very much Patrick for giving us lovely. And then here's one from Margaret and Cecilia from Philly. We love you guys, dine North forever.

Oh, I have a show in Philly next month. I wonder if it's canceled.

Oh, I bet it is.

But if it's not, Margaret and Cecilia, you better be there for Chris Fairbanks.

But I have a good, good comedy website, and see if I'm still coming.

It's canceled.

So is New York.

I face it.

I know that's all right. Meantime, I'm going to do some animations. We're gonna start. I gotta get that sewing machine you said I need to get.

Oh right, Yes, you have to start making COVID masks.

Yes, and what else?

What else?

Right?

Jokes? God? I gotta sit around write jokes.

You know what we gotta do. We got to answer some fucking We are now forty good at that.

If we had commercial breaks, it would never happen abruptly.

By the way, Gary Shanley and Tom Petty were both the same age when they died at sixty six, but a year apart.

And who went for chandling first got.

So And oh in the name of that that puppet neighbors recording thing is called shut up, little man.

Shut up, little man.

I never know that. That is newest to me.

It was seriously on it as if as if Indiana found it himself, a dusty old BHS type with no label lavel that that Martha just happen.

You should watch the documentary though, because it's really Oh I will yeah, wow.

Is that an earthquake? A size seize? Oh cool?

Okay, right now, what it means they're gonna laugh?

What just because it was, uh, this one has to balance on the bottom.

Great pewter tosses, Oh toss please.

So one of my friends, uh he called my blood and he's like, I bet that you will get a ns use saying bet and me out of theopholes.

I'm like, bet, so it's in saying it in Japanese.

Oh wow, bet the word bet bet. That's hilarious.

Oh wow, you found a loophole.

Yeah. Really like all of my you can't see them.

I like everything covered up with these two. It's like it's all Japanese traditional.

Oh that's cool. And then some sound waves. I like it. Are you an editor? I am not.

I'm actually a My degree will be in caesiology kinesiology.

Oh wow, cool, so you'd be a physical therapist.

I wouldn't want to go for occupational or chiropractor if I decided to go that route.

But right now I'm leaning.

Towards going back to school and getting getting a master's in business management and hopefully opening up my own change of gyms.

Oh wow, that's awesome. Yeah, thank you. Just have a good one. And then I made friends with Kevin.

I didn't know what kinesiology was.

It's the study of movement, human movement. Let's see it.

All right.

Yes, we asked, We asked you guys for questions for us for this episode and probably the next one, since we were such wind bags.

Oh my god, we really did have to get it together.

And this is what we got from Instagram and Twitter and yeah, and all the ways people reached out.

Oh, I said raged out, but I meant reached out. I'm going to show you this, Chris, before we start.

That.

People started sending me questions on Twitter, and then the girl, the woman, or the person I should say in this day and age, I should be saying the person right right who said sorry, take so many pictures of my dogs.

I really think it's that's the bestes. She looked like she just did something bad.

Yeah, there should be garbage behind her.

El Jacobson or Ellie, I can't see. She asked us to tell our origin story. She said, maybe it's already been done. But Chris and Karen's origin story. And also I made that little car. So the picture we posted last week, Yes, that's Ellie Jacobs.

Ellie made this perfect like envelope holder for the gift card. That was a cardboard almost version of the constant Designer Volvo driving a Volva.

But it's Karen's streamcar.

It's and that concert designer design of that. Do you need to ride with all three of us in the car? Is our favorite?

Yeah?

It is that that.

I you have a bunch of gifts. It's almost staggering.

I've I've typed her name in you have a gift team out there, make I don't it's.

One person gift. It's not true.

And she listens to this too. You have other ones does it, but it's from Here's the thing. I don't like it.

I love that she does it. I love that people use them. That's all fine. It's horrifying.

It's not for me.

A lot of them. I'm like, what the hell was this? Were you in a what were you in a music video where people are fighting in the background? Were you? Were you in the Fiona Apple across the university?

Little that that's my and Eric made a video when I was in Chicago and my album had came out. Then I moved to Chicago to go work on a talk show, and so while we were there, the guy that was in charge of the field department, and sorry, Eric, I cannot remember your last name off the top, and you're one of my favorite people on the planet. It starts the mess anyway, he was like, that's what he was worked in the field department. But that's he loved

Start a bar fight Claus in the background.

Yeah, basically I'm sitting at a bar singing the song and then I punched Santa Claus in the face. Then it starts a bar fight that is insanely epic and hilarious, and then I just leave out the back door.

All the place is going crazy.

Yeah.

That Who's the country artist that I probably didn't would never want to talk politics with.

But he's total ke. Yeah, there's one. I love this bar or whatever, I don't know, and people are.

Just fighting and he's singing well, glass is bouncing off his face, and I have to say, it's just such a reminder of my.

Childhood of home. Yeah.

Yeah, takes me back to Montana or gift scenes from movies. But who doesn't like like an epic.

Bar fight takes me back to the TV?

Yeah, exactly that scene in Hooper.

Where you know Yeah, yeah, sure, okay, Steven, let's do it. Let's finally stop teasing and one right now.

No, This first question from mcgiggles on Twitter is what song would you lead your neighborhood in a sing along. Allah that viral video of the Italians quarantines in Italy.

Oh, it's always hard because speaking of karaoke, I'm always like, oh, what's going to be. Everyone knows that you'll be a huge hit if you sing Sweet Caroline.

But if you don't sing that, you're a hack.

Yes, but I'm always confronted by it because I can my voice just can turn into Neil Diamonds. I'm not exaggerating, but listen to me now, I sound like Neil diamond Just listen.

To me, right, Yeah, you're right there at all times. Well, I think Sweet Caroline, though, is a cropleaser.

I think it is. You can't think that.

That's again, that's our nineties upbra hanging. We can't think things are hacky just because they're popular.

Imagine a whole block of people going bada.

Yeah, it has to be hands where everyone there's like a interactive vibe to it where people chime in.

Otherwise you're just singing. You're just you know. Robin Williams on the saxophone.

Moscow on the huts, I guess was a stupid he's always playing saxophone.

He was really he was a sad Russian playing saxophone. I think mine.

I actually tried to write this as a tweet and it was too long and then I just quit. But I want to go out onto my balcony.

And yell the dog Lady's monologue from rear window where she goes what I didn't do it to Mahu because he liked it. You know, when the lady finds her dog dead in the flower bed. She's like, because he liked it. It's one of the only nice people in this staborhood. And you had to do this to him, didn't you.

So from your window you would yell out lines from the movie rear window.

Yeah, I would do. It's a very short monologue.

It it's about fifteen lines, and it would just be me crying and accusing people of killing my dog.

And then at the end they would all just clap. It's like, I believe that was a performance.

Yeah.

I think she's auditioning for something, even though it's not pilot season and we.

Know, Unlass, you're doing self tape. No one's auditioning right now, no one's interested. I haven't had one cat food commercial.

Okay, we've done it all right.

At Chloe Leisure says, would you rather do dinaer in a fanboat in the Everglades or in a hot air balloon.

Oh that's a great question, just for noise reasons. The hot air balloon. Yep, that'll periodically be.

Weird.

Albatro the floor.

Sorry I didn't. I just won up your bird noise.

That's okay. Here's a pigeon.

I'm sorry, it's a chicken.

Did you want to at least be accurate?

That's what I call them. Their pigeons are just street chickens. I've always said that you have.

It's true.

They're dirty dusty doves. Dirty you, dirty dusty dog.

No, this guy's back.

Oh that is my normal laugh. By the way, I do not have the.

Cove COVID nineteen. Hey nineteen? Is it fifteen?

Yeah? Yeah, I would sing. I'm from my window. I just go back to that question.

Oh you need to change it.

No, no, I guess I'll go Sweet Caroline.

I'm my boat is hot air balloon, and I've never been ballooning. I've never been offered.

You'll get there someday, thank you. I do. I am very interested in going on a fan boat in the Everglades. I really am.

Yeah, they just skim along the top.

I think we would have to save the recording for the in between time when we're just floating.

But I really like that idea.

Yeah, well, I just did the Everglades trip this past Christmas, and you'd be surprised as actually how quiet they are.

It's actually very eary.

Those you're kind of just gliding And this is a sound engineer saying that, So that really means, yeah, you're just kind of gliding over.

It's very It kind of feels like it shouldn't be.

Well, I'm into that.

Yeah, maybe you were on a new fancy one. Was it like a hybrid?

I like when things feel unnatural. This feels wrong, like it's from the devil.

Cool sign me up.

Also, if there's a patch of mud or a small island right across it, those boats are I love this barn grill.

Okay, moving on all right, This bar angry.

At bad gen Bot says if you could choose one celebrity to be quarantined with, who would it be?

And why? Thought?

Ah celebrity do they like me?

Yeah that's key, that's crucial. I would pick I'm not for everyone.

Yeah, yeah, I'm so and so, and because the reason is because they already liked me.

I know for a fact they like me, so I'll pick.

Them if I end up with this thing.

I do want to just sit with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. When I heard that news, I'm like, who next? Yeah, fucking Danny DeVito and Ria Pearlman.

For real.

I'll take two lovable icons that are that have been together forever and then just right away.

Well, they're sick, but I think they're better.

I think they are.

They're out of that Australia hospital.

Yeah, and they I think they're lucky because they got before that it hit Australia, so they were early on of colours. They're rich so they don't have to worry about really anything. Look at this drive through? How how long the line is here? Oh guy, guys, we're so lucky.

Uh yeah, I like I've always wanted.

There was a moment Mary Soble was in Venice and he was on the phone and he said, I'm talking to Tom Hanks right now.

He's Patty.

He lived near me, you know him, He's yeah, Yeah, he was on the phone and I didn't leave him and he handed me the phone. He's like, hi, Chris, Yes, this is.

Tom Harry back on and I'm like, yep, so sorry, I.

Did talk to him on the phone first split second.

That's cool.

So I don't think it's that weird if I say, hey, I'm sick now too, can I come over. I just listen to Rita Wilson's album album.

I think it's great.

That's nice of you. You do the kind of work to really be a fan.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

Also, I think in this scenario, the way I'm insisting that it actually play out is that we don't have to earn the relationship. If we're going to play this game, Emma Bot, then this the given is that they want to hang out, right, because to put us in that position and to have the celebrity not want or have the interest in hanging out is heartbreaking.

Right.

I need to see a list of celebrity whoever they are, that either don't hate me or already.

I would love that list. It sounds like you died and went to heaven. Yeah, here's a list of celebrities who like you. Could you imagine?

Yeah, that's all I need In the end, and at the end, famous validation.

So I guess the person I'm going to pick. I feel like I'm trying to think of like six a six month hang. So it's got to be someone funny and smart. I think it would help if they were British because British people are low key.

They've already been through World War Two. Most of them they know hardship.

So like a Martin Freeman or a Benedict cumber bunch o.

Yeah, or I was thinking Hugh Laurie.

I love him, he's so you know, yeah, yeah, doctor house type would be great.

Yeah.

I was thinking to him too, just but early on. Can it be back when he did sketch comedy?

Sure, young Hugh Laurie. I mean I feel like you'd walk into the kitchen. He'd be like, I'm making you an omelet. You know what I mean, Like something really brings something to the table.

Yeah, relative, yeah, yeah, we've done it.

Yeah.

You don't get mine, though, Well I got Martin Freeman and Tom Hanks. I have a lot of people over here, and they're all.

Famous, fine, and they're on your list. Do you know for a fact they like you.

You can have a grumpy doctor who limps and pretends to be American. Yes, that's my thing, that's my jam, good solid limb.

Just a grumpy doctor in general.

So fire news.

Yes, there's an episode where he's skateboarding and he I can't remember why, but he was getting better and he didn't need his cane anymore. And you know, the formula for that show every time was like there, you're a loose cannon house. What are you talking about? And he figures it out and then they're like sorry, and then they do it again the next episode. But he figured out something that was making his whatever was wrong with his leg better, and then he just started skateboarding.

He's like skating on a bench. And then just I was like, what is this show?

Did he rebreak it?

Yeah?

Yeah, he ended up hurting again. It just back to normal at the end. He played for the next episode.

I have to tell you that I watched I watched that entire series.

After a while, I couldn't watch it anymore because it went on for so long, but that the formula was very satisfying to me.

Yeah, I really liked it. Yeah, And it was so obvious that it was happening. It's like, oh, and then in act two we he starts to work on the ailment against all of his the demands of all the other and the rest of the hospital.

It's just then he sends some internists or interns.

Or whatever they're called in hospitals to the to the patient's home just to snoop around.

And then one of them gets sick.

Yep. Then that's when they really know what's going on.

Yeah.

Yeah, then it's like amputated, like you can't.

Yeah, they have to offer offer themselves to the experimentation. Yeah.

Oh god.

Every episode.

Let's see three cop cars just sitting in that parking lot. Oh, it's because we're right across from the police department. Oh. For a second, I was like, what the fuck.

No, they just donated them to the Goodwill. They're parked in front of That's how people get these used cop cars there.

I was driving around in Okay.

Next question.

Next question Steven, continuing on the Tom Hanks front, since this is from not My Dumbster, since our beloved Tom Hanks is currently quarantined. This was from a week ago. What is his best and worst movie?

Well, I'm someone that loved as a kid The Man with One Red Shoe. Well, yeah, I doubt a lot of people have even seen it. I have him acting silly and being ridiculous and falling down and being the comedian. The comedic actor. Tom Hanks is my favorite. I'm one of the few people, along with the Matrix or whatever, I was not in the Forrest Gump.

I just it's stupid.

Yeah, where he's running and inventing bumper stickers, I'll guess it happens.

It's terrible.

I love Tom Hanks, but I'm not a fan of Forrest Cump. So your answer is I want to see when I get home.

The Man with One Red Shoe. Okay, we all know Big is the best.

I love Big. There's an extended version. I just watched it the other day. Hey, I live and breathe. I love the guy and I love Big and the Man with Mine Mine needs to be revisited. Also has Jim Belushi, America's I'm just kidding, but he's in it.

He's like young Jim Belushi's his buddy. They play softball together.

And so Forst Gump is bad? Yes, and show Yeah and Big because I think, oh and Big. Well, if it's hard to pick, I was going to say, right off the dome, the money Pit is one of my favorite.

Oh yeah that movie is It used to be on.

Cinemax all the time. Yeah, Dian from Teers, Shelley Long, Shelley La. And it's so funny and crazy. There's a ton of great physical comedy in it. Verbs is great, it's a confused Verbs is great, but it's money Pit is when they buy the mansion and then everything goes wrong, which is just frustrated. Tom Hanks is the funniest. Yeah, and also Splash, So I'm gonna pick those are my top two. Tom Hanks, it's so good.

Yeah.

He loves her so much and always has.

Do you have a least favorite?

It's also Forrest Gump. I think that thing is a gigantic piece of It is a.

Big forest dump in your lamp.

All the people in it were amazing and I love them all. But it was garbage, Oh Frans, Gary, Sanise, soul garbage.

It was a trash bin of a film. Okay, gotta wash your hands after you watch that thing.

Trash bin and filth.

All right, we're gonna finish this Tom Hanks trilogy. Nice at Kanzos Underscore seventy five to seven. How many days would you last isolated at home before going full Tom Hanks and castaway.

I yeah, it remains to be seen.

I was surprised that I immediately was like, well, time to make my apartment look good and get on more of a schedule. As far as waking up early than I am or ever I'm on usually, I really milk the clock. I've been waking up at seven thirty and skating at underground garages with my new pals. I'm trying more than ever to have a schedule because there's nothing else. An income, of course, is the may It's hard not

I feel like, what's very cool is my cousin, Gavin Newsome is making sure that because all the states seem to be acting independently, so you know, Florida's like, fuck you, we're not closing the beaches.

So that's it's it's dire.

Yeah, they're shoulder to shoulder drinking bud lightline.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Someone on Twitter today called them the super carriers. But so I think.

My point was that I think they're going to enact the like rent freezes and all that shit, because it's like if no one can work, no one can pay the rent, and that that means landlords cannot come in and take advantage and just fucking ream people. And they're doing that like that's what they're doing in other countries and other places. And I think they're moving to get

I would hope and believe. I believe that will happen. I do too.

Yeah, I think that is a hopeful, realistic thing. It certainly isn't going to happen on a federal level. We aren't even get we aren't even get and I get paper towels thrown at us.

We aren't even getting tested.

Yeah, that's the other thing. There's Kylie Jenner, I tested negative.

Great story.

Where where did you go to the three thousand dollars store?

Yeah?

I guess it's all the people with three thousand dollars store.

As far as I'm not bragging, but insurance wise, I'm as I'm a dream come true.

I'm fully covered.

Yeah, you like to tell yourself that, Yeah, I got so.

I just got.

The most inexpensive hip replacement. I mean, if out of pocket it would have been one hundred grand. That's why I think that's the only way I'm rich.

Is that because you didn't have to pay.

Yeah, and I have a rich so yeah, I don't know. I've been thinking about it. But we won't worry now because you know, anyway would it? I just changed the subject.

Well, I mean, but look, this is the This is what's truly scary about all this.

Aside from the overarching vague what if everyone gets sick thing, there is this central like what you know, we can all people can be you know, reasonable and stay indoors, but like, what's gonna happen? Because people can't just not work? And businesses can't just close. We can't just you know, like there has to be a future plan and that can't be And now you can take out a bunch of really high interest rate credit cards, like fuck you.

We can't have everybody get reamed because this is the way things.

Need to go.

Yeah, yeah, people are actually trying to take an advantage of the situation.

Yeah, but we'll see, we'll see.

I think good things. People are being good to each other. I think people are jumping at the chance to be good to each other in the days. The way things are these days, and how awful this whole country feels sometimes, I think people are just like fucking here, I'm gonna did you see Christian Siriano, the designer who is an amazing dress designer and designs for people for the Oscars and the Emmys and all the big award shows, he

Yeah, I gotta figure out what I can do. I've been giving some of the Starbucks cards to people.

I hope that's.

Just like I don't have changed, but they have sandwiches at Starbucks. It's amazing how many people in my neighborhood like ome less folks. Now they're like, oh, yeah, I've had their wraps.

I'm like, oh, you're good, right, I mean, look, so not a.

Bunch, but I've handed out a few. I don't know, but I think that's good. I saw it.

Just be good to people.

That's all I've been. Yeah, I am, I'm getting cast away in that.

The answer to question, I'm starting with not using toilet paper, but it against using leaves, much like he did on the island.

But it's my dying house plants. I got to remember to water those guys.

Also, you have toilet paper.

I do have a little. I'm sort of not wasting it.

You know. You just want to wait and see we I open. Who's open.

It depends on the movement. A taco place, Oh boy, that would be surprising. I guess if they serve food out a window already.

It's yeah, I think that's what people are starting to do.

Yeah.

The Dollar store by my house just put up a giant sneeze guard like a plastic and there's a little hole in it's smart.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was a dollar store we just drove by and there was all kinds of rolls of toilet paper in the window.

And I almost stopped the car because I need to buy two. Yeah, me too, it's crazy. Then maybe another day.

So should we say something conclusive and then continue to a part two.

Of more Q and A yeah, because this is long ass already.

Yeah, yeah, this has been a long ass. Thanks for sticking with our long asses.

Hey, we're going by Stinkers stinker who everyone, I'm a liar, skunk gasses.

It does seem like something made up.

It's it's like something you specifically would make up.

Absolutely, I could get accused of something and coerced during an interrogation. I know I could because I thought when you guys were like no way, I'm like, yeah, maybe I did.

My experience doesn't count.

Yeah, I guess that I did kill a bunch of people. On that note, Yay, you've been listening. Do you need a ride? Part one?

Part one?

Thanks for listening, everybody, and don't freak out. You're gonna be okay. We're all gonna be okay, stay safe, don't do weird errands. Don't as I was doing the other day in the rain, climbing a ladder to clean out the gutter that seemed a little too full, and then halfway up the ladder, I was like, what the fuck.

Am I doing, especially in the rain.

In the rain, basically welcoming a bad accident that would send me to a hospital.

Do everything you can. Just stay healthy and and don't fuck around.

Yeah, I've had this infected finger. I'm like, I'll just poke it with a needle. No what if it gets infected. Just figure out where other ways you can get in the hospital.

And don't do them.

Don't do them.

You know what, By when the next time you go to the store, By neosporin, by antiseptic things, by rubbing alcohol, by hydrogen peroxide, by things so that you can don't have infections, or there's all your wounds get healed very quickly. Yeah, take vitamin take a lysine, it's good for your cell regeneration.

Take vitamin E, and in general, try and cut down on those household wills.

Stop cutting. We love you.

You've been listening to Do you need a ride?

D y n Ar hawk at this bus. I leave it on you way bad.

Next time on?

Do you need a ride?

Is that toilet paper or is it looks like it's bathroom tissue? Yeah, you guys. Should we pull over and get some I need some toilet I do too,