S2 - Ep. 30 - Brandie Posey, Part 1

Loosey goosey happy happy loose can loose goose I just yelled so so loud for Steve.

And I'm so are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a turmanol and gay. We want to send you off in style.

You want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about every scared her?

Was it fine?

Malborn?

Need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? To ride? Do you need.

With Karen and Chris? Welcome? Do you need a ride? This is Chris fair Banks.

Scare you sounded exactly like him.

I don't think you knew that that Saturday Night that's the old Karen cool girl.

That's my old.

Saturday Night Live guy.

Oh really, that's from when I watched during the Eddie Murphy era.

What is his name? And isn't he the same guy? Now? Is he? It's the same guy?

God bless well, he must be a ghost.

Yeah, yeah, I think that they just they just tap into us.

Oh I did a ghost podcast with Ros dres Flees.

Oh cool, and it was so fun.

Is it Roz's podcast or yeah it's not Sam Pancakes one about made for TV movies?

No, no, no, I think they have a Yeah, this is Roz and it's all ghosts. And I happen to have some ghost stories, one of them about the apartment, which I've talked about on this.

Can tell that story again if I do.

Ever mentioned you the time I was in a Western with Colin Farrell.

Oh that one you can tell.

Oh god, I could tell it in Spanish now.

You know.

Ah, me'sapatosis, my benita.

I uh, I took something in college. I gotta do some traveling so it comes back.

Yeah, so you're not always only talking about your beautiful shoes.

Were me my ugly cat? We got to us my fail. We're in a new year, yes we are. It's twenty twenty.

Shit it is, and it feels like a you're of hindsight.

Yeah, it's going to be it's it's going to be great, Yes, it is, absolutely, Uh it's going to be great because as human beings, we gotta fucking come together this space where it's the eleventh hour.

Friends, put down your fucking issues. Put down your other ing and your excuses for blaming your shit on people you don't know who look different than you.

It's gotta stop.

Gotta stop.

Yes, lay down that issue of racist magazine.

And all the other issues in your racist magazine.

Stand yes, like like you're all white version of never mind?

I couldn't think of a magazine and.

Then you knew or something.

God right corner, like you're gonna say all white jet like that's not every other ring god?

Yeah right, yeah, which is why I didn't say it, Okay. I simply mentioned it later as a thing I should not have thought of, which thank god I had.

Which is the sunniest kind of comedy.

Yeah, it is the rethinking comedy.

Oh yeah, that's before the joke even gets out.

Your apologizing.

It's my bread and butter. Sure, but yes it is.

It's going to be every year, every New Year's I used to make the same joke, you know, like five days in, is it too early to say twenty twenty one.

Is going to be my year? You know, like you give up immediately?

Yeah, hilarious.

Here, I really feel good about this. Here you should. I feel like you're bigger than ever.

Everything's lining up, I've gained a bunch of weight. Thank you for mentioning, and I know it is. It feels like momentum.

Yep. For sure.

Everyone's been nice so far, yep.

And have you been nice? Is the important question.

I think that it's the reason people are being nice in return to my initial nine ess that I started at them.

The point is, I've been nice great for exactly ten days.

Let's see how it.

Goes right up until New Year's as a monster.

Now, I would just like to give everybody.

A New Year's tip. I can't remember. I think. I'm sure.

I saw this for the beginning of it on Twitter and then I went and watched a video.

But we haven't talked about this right where. It's a thing called the you have a.

Nerve I think called the vague Vegas nerve, but it's it's not Las Vegas spelling right right, And basically it is the key to like well being and the feeling of feeling good. It's the nerve ending that kind of like sends those messages, so you can actually manipulate it to make you feel that way through massage, even if you don't know what I'm going to tell you that's the tap. Please, Oh shit, the tip is, motherfucker god damn it, a left turn on Los Feeless at fucking six thirty.

Are you better live there?

You better gun it?

You better? You better if they're doing a three point turnout. No, they live there. That's good, that's good. Nice game.

You live there, and now you're home by now.

You would be and you are, you are, so shut it.

Behind you mean your rich asshole, rich crap.

Why do you have a five year old Audi a four.

Of course, a rich piece of craps taking a left on and that fucking scion. So if you want to stimulate your vegas nerve, uh huh, I can't remember now this way it's spelled before, if that even is the correct name. But it makes you feel good, and I've been doing it and it actually fucking works. You take deep breaths and on the exhale you smile really big, and you don't have to mean it, but by the like fifth time you do it, you do mean it because.

It's starts to feel really good.

We were like, but the exhale is a big smile, really.

So the nerve is somehow in your face or the nerve.

It's I think in the video I saw it goes back behind your ear maybe, or it's up in your head somehow. But essentially, there are different ways to stimulate it so that you get that feeling without having to, you know, do your drugs or substances or whatever.

There are ways to make it.

I think oddly I've been sort of doing it.

And I don't want to admit this because any kind of therapy you do in the mirror, people are going to call you a narcissist.

But are you you're doing narcissistic therapy.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just in the lower my lower back.

No, I smile in the mirror sometimes when I'm feeling sad. Ye an, if you see yourself smiling, after a while, it turns into actual smiling.

Yeah, it's the same thing. I just haven't been doing the breathing part.

Do the breathing part.

I didn't need a mirror this whole time. I was just that part. I can factor.

Well, that's the part you like, so you basically you customized it to.

What you like as a parcissist.

Well, i'd like I'd like for there to be more me in this self exercise.

Hey, it's self help. Who better to be looking at an image of.

Let's stop focusing on my smile and start focusing on me.

And the things I've done behind this smile.

You know what me is?

I smile it myself with the mirror often because I have these big, fake teeth now that are very new.

They aren't big, they aren't. I forget about them all the time.

Oh good, thank god, thank you for saying that.

They are not Maxie hearing something about Mary.

They feel that way to me because I've.

Had worried Remember when you were talking about I'm like, don't go like crazy white, and You're like.

I'm going as white as they make. I'm like, all right, slow down. But they they look great.

No, he's my dentist, is a master and very good at what he does. Yes, But yeah, I think it's I think that whole thing of you know, both of us came up in the nineties, a very fucking negative time. It was celebrated to be negative, celebrated to be oh, nothing's going to work out, sad sack or bullshit.

Yeah, we all blame Nirvana.

Sure, we all blame Nirvana.

We all were on heroin.

But it's man changing that white pony had to, but like it's over now we get to do whatever we want and uh and we and so we shall because we should.

Yeah, And I listened to just Upit Eat Popperty indie rockety like what which you've been listening to?

Oh?

Are you kidding?

I have to look at my Spotify all the time, but I've been led down a wormhole of music I like and it you know, it just started with uh, you know, you just select some bands you like and then all the have.

You been listening to uppityt popperty music or not?

I have been. I haven't been.

It's just it's like if you say name all the states, I'm only going to go, say Yo, Alaska and the fame, Like I can't, I can't.

Do you think this bus just went on a fifteen minute break because I pulled in behind them and they're not going anywhere?

Yeah, any particular shade green yard waiting for Sonny something like?

Sorry, I had one margarita with dinner. Oh, this isn't.

Like the NASA episode where I took us drunkenly to a rocket station.

Wasn't that weird?

Did the j pick JP Howell? What was it called?

You?

Picked me up at a party, and I was excited because it was a nice house.

Yeah, that's right.

So you had some drinks.

And there was a NASA Space Center.

It was JPL.

Yes, thank you, thank you, Steven, which we later went to took a tour of.

It was very fun. Yeah, I know.

That was an especially exciting and bizarre trip because we was that the one where we forced al madrel or he couldn't do it because he was having a party.

He was having a party.

We would have left him with twenty five guests and his children alone in the house.

The idea of that is so good.

We're like, can you just step out really quick?

Your wife can handle the party.

Yeah, yeah, I yes, she was there too. Yes, yeah, I can't remember her name, but she's delightful. Yes, he was in. No, he was in. No, he had no ability to leave at the time.

No, that was that was too much to ask.

But yeah, it's I'm not drunk right now. I just want to Oh great, yeah, I'm just lightheaded.

I am a well.

I ate finally, but I was breathing a lot of very strong pain fumes today and my toilet, my toilet was just I thought it was a stain. It was like a Demi gorgon devil head shape in the bottom of my toilet. I think where where porcelain had worn away and revealed whatever it's on the inside of a.

Toilet, the seventh sign of the apologies my god.

It was a face of a monster, and so I siphoned it out with this gas thing.

That that was given to us by early on.

When we were doing due you need a ride, we were given a road kit with a siphon thing and some armor, all by my friend.

Who does ideal handmaids.

That's his story. Just keeps getting better.

I just gotta Anyway, I siphoned a little toilet.

Water went in my mouth like that's how I spin it out, and I brushed my teeth.

But the point is I might head because that's all I had to eat today.

Can I spin it out? Of course?

So zero nourishment now we're looking at But I did. I'd got because I don't Most people would turn off the water, but during my day, if you ASKO, I figured out you can't.

The valve behind my.

Toilet doesn't turn off ship except for your mood. And so I anyway, I got it dry and I had some porcelain paint.

I painted the side of my toilet. It was great day and it looks brand new.

Amazing.

Thank you.

Another great apartment, great story.

I mean, look the walls.

L O l s big of Matt's name, but he gave it a long time ago. It's like I enjoyed the pot early. Here's a season one.

And you know I didn't share the armor all and and micro fiber towels with you, but I'm sorry, but it's funny. The siphon thing, it's a tube with a with a bubble that you squeeze on it and it's supposed to you know, my dad used to do it all the time, Like the lawnmowers out of gas, so he'd pull some gas out of the volkswagon and.

Spill it out.

Yeah.

I watched my cousin Lisa's siphon gasp out of everyone's car in the parking lot tons of.

Times, really, just to put in her own car. Yeah, it's a perfect crime.

It really is. Because your parents won't yell at you. They probably won't even notice. Yeah you don't have money for gas because you're seventeen or whatever.

Yeah, well it works.

Had to do it how was your Christmas?

Let's talk about the actual christ the time we've been away.

I had so much fun with my family.

Uh right when I arrived, my dad had to go to the r but he's fine now. It was just a medication making him clogged up. Okay, good, but he's great. He's great, so anyone. I don't think I said anything online, so why haven't bring it up? But he's great now. And it started scary ended really fun. My niece's nephew came. They are all delightful. We had so much fun laughing and they're little grown ups now and it was the best.

Awesome, that's great.

I got a new watch at Unisex. You know a lot of these men's watches.

Are that's beautiful.

It's like marble that looks like Sally Jesse, Raphael's glasses friend.

It's almost like tortoise shell.

Yeah, it is a bit of a tortoise shell, isn't it?

Though?

It is really nice?

And uh yeah, I had a great time gat How was how was your holiday?

It was great.

I was about to tell you earlier than I saved it and will not be worth it. But I got Noura, I got Nora I saw at home Goods. They had this two thousand piece puzzle of a map of Northern America.

Two thousands a lot.

It's totally big, but that's what me and Noa we do it. We get into these puzzles. Yeah, and we're stoked about it. And she opened it and she's like, oh, thanks, and she acted really excited, and I go, I thought it'd be a great way for you to learn North American geography. And she goes, I already learned it on an app right.

And she probably does have it all memorized.

Oh, she absolutely did, because then we did this puzzle. And we've talked about this incessantly. But I have no idea how most geography is laid out in this country because of my education.

Well, we spend you spend one year on the entire world and then another year.

On just our two hundred your old country.

But as I've said before, I skipped so I switched schools and in fifth grade I went to the public school where they did American geography and presidents in the sixth grade. And then when I got to sixth grade at the private school, they'd already.

Done it in fifth grade.

So I've never been taught the presidents, and I've never been taught like states and their capitals.

Oh wow.

Ever, so when we were doing this puzzle, I literally was like, I have no idea where to put that.

Like, I didn't.

I couldn't do it except for like California and Maine basically. And then every time we would see, like the whole time we were doing Montana, I thought of you, like every state where it was someone I knew was from there, I'm like, oh, look it's over again.

You know, It's hilarious.

I was so into it.

I was getting up early to fucking do the puzzle that Nora was like yeah.

She would be like, it's Arkansas's right there, and.

I'd be like, oh, okay, yeah, I don't I'm afraid I did study it and I've just simply forgotten it.

Yeah, if it's the shape of a state though, visual I have a bit of a visual brain. Yeah, I can know the shape. I know the shapes of the states. Do they teach that?

No, No, But there is a TV show called The Shapes of the States. How the States got their shapes is actually what it was called.

Really yes, oh wow, Yeah, you've.

Never heard of that.

Know how the shapes got their how the states got their shape.

I like the first version better because I was reading into it another meaning.

But yes, states.

You mean how women's body has got to be so hot?

Yes? Yeah, yeah, damn right.

We're outside.

I'm telling Brandy posey, there she is, there, she is, she's coming out.

She just sped out her gum like.

F and I always do this to people. Open.

Yes, hello, Brandy, crazy.

What an intro?

Yeah yeah, I've been doing the or maybe that maybe a live Saturday night live guy voice.

Dom Pardo Bardot alive, Brandy, I believe he's dead.

Oh they found you?

Should I be fact checking the podcast? Did you know? Did you know? You're not our fact checker? A ninety nine percent sur he died?

That's wrong. I will be fact shaming.

The second she gets into the car.

I mean, I'm ready to go professional podcasters. Ago died died August eighteenth, twenty fourteen, Tucson, Arizona.

I was right, Oh wow, what a place to go.

Though, you know, it makes sense because he's been doing when he's been doing it so long that I was like, there's simply no way he could still.

Be doing it.

Do you feel like they on his death by they made him record a bunch of stuff so they could like just will be right back. Some generics in Aaron, just lots of every name combination possible.

Wait, sorry, Brandy, Yes, where are we going? We can cut it out.

We are going to being to the good Night Bar in Burbank.

Let's head toward rough Burbank.

I'm doing a little show tonight called Canteen Points at the good Night Bar, which is a karaoke bar.

Afterwards, what are you going to sing?

Oh? I'm saying we should all go to your chef. I mean, I would never tell you guys to do that. Oho, it should be fun like there's a couple of good pals are going to be there. Who Larry Cale, Martin, Dave Ross, Yes, other people I forget. Yeah, it's close enough. It's plenty for me. It's on Burbank Boulevard. It's fun. I like it. I like it. I like the old Burbank. In my thirties, I've really come to appreciate Burbank.

Isn't it funny how that happens?

Yeah?

Nice, I've been enjoying Glendale. Isn't it weird?

Yeah? Just having a good time at the Americana.

Yeah, it's one of my favorite gallerias as well as promenades.

I think.

Ramenade Hollywood Central is for when you are from twenty to twenty six.

Yeah, and then.

You start your eyes start going over the hill or more way east, like way away from Hollywood. Yeah, and you're just like, how can I live near here? But not here here?

Right?

Yeah? I moved to Igorrock when I was twenty eight, and it's the best thing I've ever one of the top four things I've ever done for myself quickly named two more getting a restroduction and moving to Los Angeles.

Chris, name three things great things you've done for yourself besides your hip or place.

In the decade bo and we all know that's the big one.

I think myself every day, Well, it's looking in the future and how much I'll thank myself for my other hip being done.

Oh I love a surgery.

Day, Well me too, I love an upcoming What am I supposed to be proud of?

Two things You've done for yourself?

I have been listening for five minutes.

Don Pardo's dead.

If Chris isn't talking about the projects he has in his apartment.

He just can't.

I think that. I thank you. I've done that apartment for myself. Yes, I've been doing that.

You're decorating operating about.

Cows and pigs, Oh, because of her?

Do you think they the Graham accounts I follow, they stole a star.

Yeah, they do. You think that's a real one? I hope so, I would love that. We are also in the part of town where the woman had the bucket of hot diarrhea dumped on her head.

Oh, I talked about that.

Is that happened around here?

We're on her head?

And they interviewed her and she said she was traumatized, Yeah, got sick. And then and then she revealed that the diarrhea for her cause diarrhea.

Yeah, so she has to get tested every three months.

That's awful.

I like, And yeah, I read a lot about it. I also might have found her on Facebook to see if she like posted personally about it.

Oh man, she.

Did a little bit. She also didn't shave her head, And I feel like if I had, if I had a hot diarrhea from a stranger in my hair, I would be hairless immediately. Yeah.

Yeah.

They actually had surveillance footage of that guy messing with other people, Yeah, the diarrhea guy, and she just it was bad times. She did nothing, she was walking and just pouring something on her edd.

Yeah. And every article specified hot as well, which is yeah, which means I'm sorry fresh. Yeah, now you don't you you don't want your diarrhea like a little Caesar's pizza to go.

Five hot read so.

And also that market.

It happen here, but it's also happened. That story has happened around the country.

Yeah, a couple. There's a guy in Toronto that was doing it as well.

Yeah, Canadian.

Yeah, although I don't know if it's like I wonder, if it's a recent occurrence or if it's like you know, like when you get a new car, you start seeing your car everywhere. Yeah, so, if it's been happening around us all the time, but now we're cluding to pay attention to it.

We're having diarrhea confirmation bias. That's what they call it. It's the you know what, it's the most disgusting story. Yeah, because my friend, do you remember Danny sibios I always ask him.

I know his name mostly from you, and if I knew him before, it's been replaced by your mentions of him.

He is, uh with that apartment building for Brandy that you just came out of used to be like the where all a bunch of comics lived.

Really, yeah, a bunch of too right, like Paul Tompkins.

Just do an apartment there when we were all in our young, young nineties days.

Oh that's so funny.

But oh my god, I think I've been to that one.

Can you remember what apartment number? Who was? I don't know why you would remember that. I do not don't know why I asked that question. I don't.

But my so my friend Danny, who was like in the mix background or whatever, had this story of a kid in his neighborhood who Joe as a prank quote unquote.

Somebody gave him what they said was a chocolate pie.

And it was shiit.

Oh no, and he could not stop spitting. No, you can never stop years like, yeah, it was like a tick. He developed a tick where he just kept he had to spit constantly.

I'm going to start spitting. I mean, that's how terrible that thing.

It's not a frank, it's not you know, obviously these I don't think these people. I think the people were mentally ill that did it as other people. But it's so it's the worst thing you could do.

Yeah, and it definitely is.

Disgusting, yeah and can kill you.

Yeah. Yeah.

It parallels my great fear of when you're driving, like say, for example, on Highway One and there's no anything for miles and so everyone smile. You just see one of those blue porta potties, yea, and the idea of falling into one of those, I think about it, or the like camp campground bathrooms that are just cement holes.

We all know.

It's my biggest fear, and the idea of being sitting in one and getting clipped by a car on the side of the road. Oh, just launching well around stop side down, landing upside down.

Sorry, but not wearing a hard hat.

But you are not a construction.

You shouldn't have been loitering in their vesthroom.

You wish you were, and that's why you were there.

You deserve what you have.

I have a festival hack for you real quick about speaking of porta potties. Okay, if you were at like a large three day festival and like you do not have any sort of backstage access, yes, bring a lock, and then first thing you do, you go find a port of potty and you put your lock on it, and then you have a personal port of body all weekend long.

That is hilarious. And you've done that.

I'm I'm a friend that's you know, it's so but there's I have I'm a friend in a band who does that all the time. And he told me, and I gasped, and I was like, what a beautiful hack. It is amazing. Would feels so good.

Like a little like like a lock that would be on your locker in the eighties and nice.

Your lock from high school. Just bring that to a festival. And then you have your own private porter body. If it's a combination, you can give it to friends and family. Nice. Good. Yeah, so you're just personal bathroom for the weekends.

You can improve on basically shitting in a plastic blue box.

Well, you just want to know the ship, the owners of the ship whose box you were using. True. Yeah, it makes it slightly better, I guess, does it. I mean I don't know, because kind of personalized.

You're just like, why does this person eat more shrub shrubbery?

Shrubbery?

Why are all my cow friends eating more, why do I let the cows. It's a huge mistake to give those cows the combination.

That is a great idea, And no one that gets into a festival is gonna have bolt.

Cutters on them.

No, exactly.

It's a perfect crime.

It's a perfect crime. Can we say this.

I want to hear other hacks like this that are good ideas out of total desperation. If you listening, have one of these where you're like, oh, there's a thing I do where it's like whatever, I can't give it.

An example because I would do it.

Yeah, yeah, do it tell us because I love stuff like that.

Yeah, it's a it's a perfect crime. Like did you see that.

One at Chris this time they were showing if you cut the wrapping paper and it barely fits and you're doing it like rectangularly, just turn the box diagonally and it fits.

You see that? Oh it was so satisfied, so satisfied. I did it.

I was wrapping gifts nice because I was like, oh, here comes my back and it actually worked.

Have you ever There's been times where it's close enough to a square that I just rotate it just so it's diagonal, and then you bring the corners to a point.

I think that's what Karen just said. I mean, I'm going to ask you to listen on this.

You don't.

You just don't go from horizontal to vertical. It's like a forty rotation.

Okay, I think there's only one rotation that will make it work, and it's the one we're both talking about.

It doesn't have to be It can be clockwise or counter is what I was going to bring up.

It doesn't matter which that's what I wish.

No, no, because you can do counterclockwise.

It screws it in tighter.

Oh right, right, yes, yes, that was your Christmas?

Would you? Is there anything you'd like to share? It was fun I'm from Maryland originally. I have a young niece who is six months old. So it's for first Christmas.

Oh yes, yes, she had a.

Very good first Christmas. She's adorable. She is a very very precious baby. Yeah, so it was. It was very good to my dog home with me. I haven't for the last few years, but he had a real good time. Nice when he goes home. It's funny because like he's he's older, he's at fourteen, and he eats like he's on a special data here. But my my dad and my aunt who we live with, they feed him everything, and it's just kind of a week that it's just

Who's Santa? Says careful in there?

New himself. I don't know who it's in here. It's Santa lighting a match.

Else.

Oh no, I know why you call her?

Backing up?

Have you ever seen the houses where they have to get an alternative sort of like a row of car batteries.

Oh yeah, yes, like m hmm, how their lights sequence.

There's one in Baltimore. It's called Halloween House, and they also have an Instagram and a Twitter. I just want to plug Hallween House and it was Halloween house year round, their night memberfore Christmas theme, so their lights are on every night. But then they really kick it up a notch for Christmas, so they bust out even more night member before Christmas stuff. Oh of course, and they have like the lights that are timed to music. And it's so funny because the rest the row of houses around

People they now hate decorations, and those people, oh, without a doubt, it's year round.

Yeah, yeah, it's psychotic. It's pretty crazy.

I don't put up lights or anything.

I love Christmas, but if my neighbors were doing it, I wouldn't want to look like a ba humbug guy.

Yeah, so I think I would do it. I'll send you. I'll send your videos, Stephen. It's a private. Great video. I like went on their lawn and was dancing. Took some videos this year because it just was really really any good spirits.

There's my so my sister's neighborhood is like that where there's people who go way out and there's a street that goes way out and there was. It was one of those things where I think, I think when things are going great, everybody's just like, oh, why do those people do that?

It's lame or whatever.

When you're having a bad Christmas, like Christmas lights save you.

He used to just load Nora into the car.

And we'd be like, we'll be right back, and then we just go drive her around and be like, look at these lights and just because because you do get to have that like the little kid wonderment kind of vibe, but then you do feel it, but it's just like it's doing it all.

It does all the work. Yeah, absolutely, that's what going to Rennet Christmas life is light for us because it's very like there's a few displays that are homemade. Like there's one where a guy has like a like a piece of ply where that he turned into a fake win a Bago that he has a Sannah with a in a lazy boy. It's like a Santa, a mannequin and a lazy boy just on his lawn. Yes, it's terrifying, but it's really beautiful because it's home made.

Yeah, it was one house Nora pointed out because when she was like five, they went to look at it, and they got out of the car to go look at it because it was so nuts covered in lights, and Nora immediately tripped over a plug and half the lights went out, and she she was like five, So she burst into chairs and immediately my sister's friend that she was with was like back in the car right now.

They just ran and Nora.

Was devastated and she but now, of course it's like seven years later, she's like, I was really sad.

It was so cute.

Yeah, that would make a little kid think they ruined Christmas.

Yeah, well she kind of did for.

That for a while until I plugged it back.

It just takes plugging it back there.

Yeah, there was a there was a street in Austin where everyone contributed, like there wasn't one house that said no, and so as a result, everyone drove slowly, like the entire street was packed.

With people looking at it. It was the coolest.

Yes, I think it was weird for me to leave Montana place with winter where it's like clearly Christmas time because there's snow. Then I moved to Texas and saw lights on a cactus and I'm like, oh, this is.

Not gonna want.

But then I saw that street and I'm like, wait a minute, they're smart.

Spirit y'all got more spirit, y'all.

No, the reason for the season Jesus Christ.

Ye. Yeah, thirty fourth Street in Baltimore does the same thing. You cannot live there. It's part of your lease that for the month of December you have to decorate your house for Christmases.

Obligation.

Gotta do it, you must.

But we're not Christian. Shut up and pay the monthly.

Do just do it.

Wow.

I had a fun New Year's Day. Lisa Curry, you guys probably know her. It's a good buddy of mine. She had a rough Christmas. So we decided to start off the decade in a very weird way. So a couple of us went to the Manson Cave and Spawned Ranch out and Chatsworth. Wow, how was it? I was climactic, but also like, well, there it is.

Tell me about the Manson Cave. I don't know.

Well, so the spawn ranch is like the ranch that they were all at before they went out into the desert career. And there is like a cave down by the creek that is still there because the rest of it was all like they bulldozed it over. Is completely unrecognizable, but you can work your way down there. And it's funny because there was four of us walking around and there was another group of four people and nobody else

And what were they talking about?

They were just walking around some Hi, Yeah, we're looking for bodies exactly is it spawned?

We're looking for Quentin Tarantina.

Yeah, he's got to be somewhere upon a Hollywood.

Yeah. I liked that movie.

By the way, I let too many people tell me about it. That's what happens when movies come out and people either love it or don't, and then you start listening to opinions, and then I just start making my opinion, not based on watching it, but listening to a bunch of other people.

And when I finally watched it.

I was like, this is a great The concept of that movie by the time it got to the end and was so beautiful to me of we're just reimagining this story.

It's gonna go different this time. I loved that.

Yeah, I like the way it ended.

It's up to interpretation and yeah, it's great. The opposite happened to me with the Uncut Gems movie. I heard it was great and then I went and I was just having an anxiety attack the whole time, and there all the characters in it are flawed. There's not one person you're rooting for. And I was like getting so frustrated. I was like emotionally upset. Yeah, and then everyone's like it's Oscar buzz for everyone, and I'm like, I don't know, man, what's wrong with me?

I don't no, no, no.

I think this was my theory because I liked it, and I really The Safdie Brothers did a movie called Good Time, where Robert Pattinson is a bank.

Robber's really good.

Yeah, it's fucking great. Yeah, And I think it's like their Reservoir Dogs versus whatever.

It's sounding like. I'm Quentin Tarantino's number one fan but I think they're really good filmmakers. But I read a review that said Sandler's performance is godlike, and I am sorry to tell you, because I think Adam Sandler can be a really good accuracy too, and I think he was great in it. But he was not so different from Adam Sandler that I went, who is this person?

It's Adam Sandler with weird clothes.

On the idea that the performance is godlike, It's like he's just wearing small rectangle glasses.

It's not godlike at all. Actually, he just didn't drop any SBA shadows.

Yeah, but I still liked it a ton. But it's the these days, whether it's people being paid or just everyone's losing their mind, where it's like the hyperbole of when you express your like or dislike of something is so beyond it's like I couldn't stand it.

I'm heartbroken.

It was godlike where it's like, what does everyone fucking doing?

I just did quiet about it the movie come up in conversation, I'm like, just get quiet.

I don't want to rain on anyone's.

Absolutely knows the day's a movie pass where it's like you could just see something and not have an opinion about it didn't matter. I saw Ferdinand in theaters. Who gives a fuck?

Can I just say that I did. I was on a team that wrote a pass. I did a pass on that script really refer to me. I was really excited because it was my first punch up like opportunity, and I was so stoked.

And then I was just like, oh, yeah, I don't I'm not good at this.

Yeah yeah, it's it's it's basically puns and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, because you can't when it's punch up, right, you can only.

Add little annoying jokes.

You can't change anything offscreen voices and stuff, right exactly.

Then the bird flies by.

Yeah, they're like, we're not putting a bird into this.

Yeah, what about a sign in the background with a bird on it?

Yeah, I've ever seen that movie on movie pass and being like I felt nothing for two hours and it still feels nothing. It's beautiful.

Oh yeah, So Ferdinand gave you nothing. I don't think any of my jokes made it in, so I won't be hurt.

Pretty much pretty much. I mean, it was an enjoyable experience. I forget everything about it. I didn't dislike it.

Wait, This was a real pass at it before the movie was made.

You don't know if you have jokes in it or not.

Well, like, I've never seen it.

Oh yeah, but I can't imagine I got jokes in because I was very bad at it. Like it because also it's like it's kids comedy.

It's a bull talking to like a duck.

And then they're like, how can you make this moment funnier? And that My thing's always just like yeah, I can't.

And it was a mistake.

I wanted to do it so back because I'm like, oh my god, getting a punch up job and it's like right, but then you have to actually do the job and you can't do any of your personality jokes that are like, aren't I so this it's like, no one gives a shit.

I write a hard joke about a bull for the luck.

Yeah, making something funnier also has to imply that it has an initial funniness to it.

Yeah, there's a funniness you're trying to beat. You can't deliver equal funny.

It has to be better. Yeah, exactly.

Well, I talk all the time about being a snowboarder number seven and Jack Frost the movie where the dad dies and becomes a snowman.

Wait are you Michael Keaton's movie?

I was during the day.

The cameras were aimed at us, all snowboarding in the background. We were following a green tennis ball on a stick.

But I wish they had made my Katon come to set.

Yeah, he was not on set. It was all special effect. He was doing voiceover via Skype. Well that's it was too long.

Wait did you make it? You don't know if you made it into the movie.

I can't. I can tell. I don't remember what I was wearing.

I would have to know which jacket I had borrowed and was wearing, as I.

Have something I need to google. Because there's a reason. No, I'm in it though, the snowman doesn't look like Michael Keaton because they were making it for somebody else originally, and then they didn't George play yes it, Yes? Is it? Yeah? That is it? That is it?

No?

Yes, yeah, it was George Clooney originally, and then they like didn't have the budget to change the snowman face. That's why the snowman kind of looked like George Clooney.

It's not why you said that the snowman looks like George.

I genuinely I do not know if I said that because it was a guest or because I read it somewhere and just it was.

Way back in the file. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Is it truly right? I'm like ninety nine you said it felt so right. I'm pretty sure that is correct. I'm on double check real quick.

But this is not the Adam Sandler, I mean Adam Sadler. This is not the Tim Allen movie.

No, that's Santa Claus. What do you Oh?

Yeah, she's just honking at you because of her own problem.

I think the person behind behind was honking, but it's like you can't. She was driving into the side of my car and then waving thank you.

It's like I'm not letting you in.

And then she and then.

I saw her little handgo how come yeah Mercedes lady, and she does not know fuck you lady.

Yeah, let's go get let's get out. It's time to have her first three fight.

Yeah, I'm so ready.

I got you guys. At the back, I was typing and then I get distracted by her buffoonery and I just look back to my phone. I just had the words Georgie Allen typed in, None of that is what I was looking for.

George, Georgie Allen's doing these days. George's star meter is on IMDb.

He killed Don Pardo, That's what happened. George Clooney Snowman. No, that's what's the best way to buy that. I was going to do it.

Jack Frost, that's a Frost snow Man.

George Cliney, I'm gonna say ninety seven or ninety eight.

That feels about right.

Yeah, it felt right for me. Yeah.

It was originally written to star George Clooney, who turned it down in favor of Batman and Robin Good Call, Good Call. Yeah, still a good call, even though that movie was to this day a good call. Wow. I believe in George Clooney, and I always have.

It interesting that he played Batman after Michael Keaton. Whoo world of Clooney and Keaton.

What if we start looking it up and every single role that either of them has ever had preceded or followed the other.

Amazing if every step he's taken in life, including not TV roles, but also women he's dated and everything was just George Clooney following the steps of Michael Keaton.

Well do you want to hear?

But do you want to hear something?

Sure?

In the movie Out of Sight, George Clooney is going after Michael Keaton's girlfriend, Jennifer Lopez.

Oh my god, remember that.

I love that movie so much.

I was going it's so good that Steven Soderberg can make a winner and a stinker.

It's literally one of my top threes. Anytime it's on TV, I will watch it.

Everyone watch out of Sight.

Watch on a site.

Lo Pa low Page meant that he sees that they see.

Each other when she's waiting in the lobby for him, and the elevator doors open and they look at each other. It's the most hot chemistry awesome. It is like it's they actually capture on.

Film what everybody else is trying to do.

They do it so many times in that movie.

There's a real sexy scene where they're like dressing undressing across the room from each other.

Yes, and they're being kind of goofy about it.

Well, it's so real.

It's so real.

It's so good.

And and then it helps also that they both look good without their clothes.

Well, they're both attractive people.

Yes, for sure.

I just don't understand where these cars are coming from in the way that suddenly they're there and we're.

Supposed to be in the fucking lane.

It was like we were all driving into a funnel. Did not feel good.

Yeah, Karen won though.

Yes, you know what, I don't give a fuck anymore.

I'll drive right into your goddamn white Mercedes.

It's always a white Mercete.

It's always a white Mercedes.

White Mercedes and a silver Lexus. Never page a parking ticket in a parking garage, That's something I've always I've learned.

If they're pulling into that thing, yeah, they never take too long.

Yep, they take way too long. Yeah, I'm always like, TikTok, what's happening here? Oh it's another silver Lexus. Always sorry, it's like sorry.

I'm a mother of three and of all the things I got done, I forgot to get that one thing done.

M one of those.

I forgot where my my friends were hiking with their snowboards on the side of the road, like I don't know why about going from one, but they're on the side of the road and a car laid on their own or and then with Jack Nicholson and a big Mercedes slipping them off, and I remember it so vividly from them telling it that I almost just said it was me on this side.

But I do have the visual of it back then.

I do that a lot where, especially when when you love a story, it's like I remember it and remember it until I'm a part of it.

I am told so many stories on this podcast that maybe weren't me, but a very very close friend of mine that doesn't have a voice for himself, you know, really unfunny part of his story is saying that it's about someone else and describing them.

Yeah, I get that part out of there.

That was boring.

Just now, edit edit it, edit it yourself.

In Okay, So we're actually going back to the old, the old structure of do you need a ride, which is we are actually truly driving Brandy to her gig tonight.

Yes you are, and I really had yours.

To our original mission statement we are providing a service once again.

Yes.

Do you guys get a lot of texts from people that like need an airport pick up at this point or as I kind of moved away.

Yeah, and I usually just say, oh, we aren't doing that. Now I'm sure you understand. And then they say, God, damn right, what a terrible place.

Alix is the worst.

La X is like we should say, we will do it if you will change the flight to Burbo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because Burbank's great. I mean that's airport now.

It's a delightful airport.

That's my I'm a.

Fairan of it.

But are you what are your goals for comedy in twenty twenty. Brandy Posey of Lady the Lady Comedy podcast.

Oh, thank you so much. Well, I want to record another album this year. Really good listeners of you a comedy club or a cool venue that does comedy, and you when to come to your town. Let me know and I could probably make it happen.

Randy's very good at booking herself on tours.

Yeah, I love all that stuff. I'm going to Alaska the first time in April. Are working at the Cannery Anchorage doing some doing some comedy and anchoraget Oh nice, yeah, very curious about. It's like for a festival, which will be fun. One of the headliners. And I've always said that I want to go. I've always want to go Alaska, but I won't go to Alaska unless I'm with people I know, because it seems like a place that people disappear in.

It's I just did the butcher Baker who is a killer from the eighties in Alaska who used.

To hunt women out in wilderness, and.

That was part of the FBI Files episode I watched was all about how people go to Alaska to escape from lots of things, including the law. So it's filled with people who are, you know, lots of raps Gallion. Actually, yes, he was a baker, a good baker. He had his own bakery baker. He didn't bake them, hunted them hunted. So don't don't decide baking women is worse than because I don't think it's true.

Bring my own food to Alaska.

Brandy's just stuffing her suitcase with croissants. I can't get any up there.

He's got a bunch of cashews.

Baked good.

Yeah, clearly everything else is available, lady free baked good.

Bear clause, air clause.

If you had to order a donut right this second, what would you order?

Brandy post Oh apple fritter from Colorado Donuts in igor Rock. Oh, it's my favorite favorite donut. In Los Angeles, Stephen, can you do a favorite donut?

The original krispy Kreme?

Yeah, glazed, just glaze, that kind of what I go for to just a regular glade that would be yours.

I o ded on that donut in two thousand and two, so same. Yeah.

I had the thing where I would eat one and go, oh it didn't land, I can't feel anything, and I would just keep eating them.

Yeah. It was when I was in marching band in high school. That was my senior year. They were krispy Kreme was one of our fundraiser things, so you could get a dozen Krispy Kreams. They deliver them fresh and then you go take them to places. Yeah, and I think me and all my friends we would just each get a dozen of Krispy Kremes every month that fundraiser and just house them in c minutes.

Oh that's great, just.

I mean so quickly. I've never eaten donuts that fast in my life still to this day. Yeah, they're so easy to eat, but when they're hot too, it's like she's literally not in your mouth. That donut is made a deal with the devil. Is your show at eight? Uh, but I'm not gonna be first.

So okay, do you guys think we should go to the Krispy Cream drive here right now?

Karen find I'm the most gun mom in car.

Duke, are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you clean. Give us time and a Turmino and Gabe. We want to send you off in style.

We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Malforn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and chriss

M