S2 - Ep. 25 - Q&A Episode, Part 2!

This is exactly right.

Cool, I'm rolling awesome?

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminal and gage.

We want to send you off inside.

We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared? He was it fine? Malborn?

Do you mean ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Ride?

Do you need with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgarith.

What happened?

Sorry?

I just did three things on my phone that came through the dashboard.

Oh my vehicle.

No it was not. I didn't even notice.

Okay, great, except for when I was flinching and making weird right right.

I was a little worried about that.

I'm like, here we go here, she's about it's seizure time.

It's happening.

I thought, told me what to do if that happened.

I would try to figure out a way to put the car and park. Okay, I would do that first. I'll stop it first.

Oh yeah, good idea, and then I'll put it in park and then just actually the.

First step would be to strip the gears and every way you can.

Okay, I've done that, Okay, great, great, and then yeah, pull over.

I really I'm serious.

Though you've had you've had seizures before I have.

It happened.

The beginning is slow, so I would be able to tell you. First of all, here's the indicator name. No, no, this is my personal one. Everyone's different. First of all, you just found out everyone has seizures.

I just don't know it.

Just like shingles, they've always been inside you. So my it's called the aura. And that's the first thing that happens when you have a seizure. And mine is I.

Look over my left shoulder and it looks.

Like I'm looking up at the ceiling, so it would just from where I'm sitting, look like you're checking your mirrors or making like.

This though, and it's in my head kind of oh my god, and I'm still conscious and it scares.

Me because I can't see your face, I know.

So usually I would go like this because sometimes I can't figure out.

What to say to someone because I don't want to panic.

This literally happened to me and Georgia in a meeting the other morning because I didn't sleep all night.

Uh huh.

And no one noticed it.

Except for Georgia, who goes it was distracting because it just looked like I was looking over my shoulder. So everyone's kind of like we were on a conference call and everyone is, I think, looking at me, but no one was going to say anything.

You started off cassiege.

I started as a light siege, but it was just because I hadn't slept all night.

It happens every once in a while.

I'm glad, I asked, and I'm glad we're having this conversation.

And are you glad I'm driving.

I just the idea of you your head doing what you just.

Did, So your head is exactly looking away from me, and then you turning back and your face is slightly changed in some siege your way.

No, I wouldn't run eyes closed, and I have to monitor where you're.

Pouring out of my mouth.

That's like from a scary movie. I mean you literally, I'll be smiling and you know.

With blood like I cut the corners of my mouth.

I actually when people have seizures in movies and TV shows. I can't watch it because it makes me get all like feel real like, oh.

No, no, I have to have one.

That being said, I'm so much. I'm I'm very glad you're behind the wheel and it's not me.

Thank you.

Yeah, because here's the thing.

I wish I had seizures to be an excuse to.

The when you have a thing like this. I've never ever had.

A seizure any except for driving. I've never had a seizure. I would never if I thought I might have a seizure, I wouldn't drive. But there have been times where I have a breakthrough aura, which is just my eyes look so that means I can't look straight ahead. So I've actually and that's happened a handful of times. And it's like it's usually about not taking medicines, getting whatever.

Sleep.

Yeah, yes, the sleep issue.

But I actually know with my eyes closed how to turn on my emergency, how to put my car in park and turn this emergency see thing on. So it would just look like the car broke down because I'm not. I just will if I was on the freeway, I was anywhere, just stop the car right that's the plan. So I've actually run those scenarios personally, which is a thing you do when you have a thing like this, because you're My ultimate fear is anything would happen while I was driving.

Well, let's use the same signal that I use for when I can't remember a person's name at a party. Just squeeze my arm and then I'll make the first move perfect.

Yeah. Yeah, Usually I.

Excreaze someone's arm and then it gets there's been an agreement made and then they go hi, I'm and introduce.

So I don't have to do that.

Now.

Have you ever squeezed the arm of the person whose name you don't know, like like.

It's what's up?

Yeah, I just squeeze their arm and go, I don't remember you?

Help me one time?

Wrong person?

I met my here, I'll do a name drop. I knew you wanted me to. Yeah, I mean, I'm friends with Fred Armison, who dates the lovely actress Natasha Leone.

I wondered why they were together that one time because your birthday my birthday.

So because they've they've been dating while actually, and they showed up and I knew her from Twitter, and I of course know her from her amazing body of work, and I have always been a fan and love her so much. But when I saw her standing in front of me, I was so excited and it took me by surprise that I just grabbed her forearm and I wouldn't let go of it in this way where I was trying to convey to her, but I didn't want to like gush.

And it's my friend's girlfriend, so like I'm supposed.

To just act like, oh, I'm just meeting my friend's girlfriend, but I just wanted her to know how much I loved.

Yeah, it's well grabbed stand and holding it seems like you're being seen is disingenuous, not genuine.

What's the word.

You were right both times?

Yeah? Yeah.

If you're just holding someone's hand, that seems like a parishioner or someone saying thank you for coming.

To like doing one of those yes or yes.

And then I keep holding it. How uncomfortable is that? Is it weird that I've we've never held hands as long?

That's true? Kind of clammy.

Oh yeah, trust me, you know what you don't want me, Reben, I'm like mister clammy hands. I know a guy named Wayne mcclammy actually, and I call him Wayne mcclammy.

Hands really Anyway, The point is, the point isn't essentially is a great actor.

And grabbing an arm though, is a little like, hey, you're in trouble, no recess for you.

Yes. It was like I was saying, no recess from my love.

Yes, I'll never stop loving you.

Love permanent detention.

She is Because I will say this, she is one of those Hollywood people where when you meet her you can tell why she looks so great on camera. All of her features are it's like the golden ratio on her face. Her face is perfectly put together, her hair is so good, like it's just this big, long, curly mop. And then she's natash Leo, so she has like the best personality. So I was just like overwhelmed with how much of a fan I was of hers.

I Yeah, she's that show where she has to relive every day like Groundhog Day with oh Russian Doll.

Yeah. That It was then that I realized how very good she is at acting.

So good, She's great.

I do want to loop back, though, and say I just want people who listen to this podcast to know I would never ever drive if I thought I was gonna have a seizure.

I feel like me talking about my seizure.

Emergency patrol is like the scariest thing I've ever talked about on the show.

Yeah.

Yeah, and it's not anything I've actually worried about. I'm just like, Okay, it does hit me every once in a while that it is something that could maybe happen.

Yeah, but I know you got I know you got to handle on.

It because boom boom, I'm looking away.

Oh wow, you did do it.

It's easy. So if you're looking.

Away and you if you look away and you start going for that hazard button, I am taking the wheel.

Yes, absolutely, but don't scream or do it you please.

I've been in emergency situations.

I get stressed out when a flight doesn't work out or something logistical happens, I kind of lose my ship. Yeah, but if shit goes down, if the world is ending, Yeah, there's a mushroom cloud in the distance where someone pulls out a gun, you'll find that I suddenly am cool as a cucumber.

For real, I'm not.

Yeah, there's been times car wrecks death accent a person that is on the side of the road. We have to go talk to them that these are all things I don't want to talk about on the podcast, But in retrospect I am in an emergency situation, I do suddenly morph into a man.

You mean your little boy legs get real?

Almost God, It's like a scene that should have been in Pinocchio. I come bursting out of that blowhole like a muscly human.

I know, wouldn't boy anymore?

Let me take the wheel the blowhole of light.

Yes, yes, a whale.

I think I've bragged to you about this already because I'm the same way. But I was raised by two first responders, so I think it was like it was unacceptable to be in any way uncool in an emergency situation. I've never saw either of my parents ever overreact right in about emergency things, right, but if you left a light on in.

The bathroom, my dad would lose his goddamn mind.

Sure, okay, that's that's funny that my my brother in law, Mike, is a fireman, Lisa's husband, and he she has more stories about it, but I've seen it. If someone's crazy, if there's a threat of any kind, he becomes so calm and intimidating to people that are scary, like just because he's dealt with them.

Right, That's what my mom was like, because she worked at a mental hospital. And so if there was the screaming person in front of the grocery store or whatever, everybody else would be running away and hiding their children, and my mother would be going out going like, excuse me, I need to ask you a question really quick.

She would go in and start solving it.

Yeah.

Yeah, just engage them and got part of me, a small part wants to work in some sort of a facility.

And of course for people with Alzheimer's.

If I had to, if there was a if some judge was like, you need to donate your time.

Because I do enjoy interact.

It's not a I think it's a thing that most people would avoid because they get sad.

But you and I have been through the shit.

Yeah, and so I feel like, I don't know, maybe it would still make me sad. I don't know, I care about those people. Now it sounds like a brag.

You're bragging.

I'm sensitive out Get out of me. I also sleep too much night, take my nose, listen. I'm also a piece of yet Okay, does that make.

Up for it?

You're merely human as we all are. But wait, I was bragging about myself. I'm merely human to make to make mistakes, born to make mistakes.

I don't remember going at highlight.

No, that was my contralto part in choir.

I think Steven's in the bag seat almost panic because this is supposed to be a Q and.

A episode.

One question.

It looks like we are not going. I's going to see how long we could go without and we just.

Do one question at the end before we start. Sorry, Stephen, can I just do my brag?

Because I was saying, because I was raised by first responders, stop me if I've told the story.

That you should be you want to be a cop? Kind of No.

No, And do you know that every time I see my father, he tells me women shouldn't be the policeman. Every time women should not be policeman. I'm like, Dad, I'm not having this because.

They sometimes yeah.

Yeah, basically because he's afraid that someone's going to hit a lady in the back of the head, like he's afraid for the idea of it.

I was like, Dad, they get guns like everybody else.

Just have him watch some uh some ronda rousing.

M for real.

There's examples our Happy Valley, that British show that's so good and the woman is the like the head British cop whatever that's called, and she's she just handles sh all day long.

Yeah, so good.

So anyway, here's my brag. Okay, one time in college, stop me, truly. One time in college, my sister was moving out of her apartment and the guys she was friends with, who were in an apartment next to.

Hers, they were all it was all outside.

So we were moving stuff in and out of this car, and I opened the passenger side door to put a box inside, and like leaned in to put the box on the seat and look down and there was a coiled rattlesnake on the floor of her car.

You're shitting me, And so someone was trying to murder her.

No, someone was praying, playing a prank because it was a stuffed snake, but I didn't know that it was a coiled rattlesnake ready to strike. And I moved backwards and shut the door so quickly because all the guys.

Were standing out on their porch watching to see.

It's like what girl would see it and freak out and scream and run, And instead of doing any of that, I just pulled myself backwards and shut the door so fast.

And they all started slow clapping.

Yeah. They were basically like, oh my god, that was supposed to be a prank. That was amazing. Oh wow, how did you do that? I never told that sort of before.

No, No, I love it.

Yeah that was great, And I like how you made me think it was a real snake until I demanded the detail.

You don't lead with the fact that the stuff snake. It takes all the drama.

Yeah, yeah, I should I shouldn't have even I should have just let it unravel or uncoil.

That was worth going back to four different times, right, Yeah, totally.

Okay, great now I feel great.

Should we start the Q and A stop you? Yes, let's let's do what we plan to do.

Okay?

Would you rather find a horse sized dog?

The classic question that was posted at a Starbucks. I'm starting to think you just have Starbucks fans all over the nation.

Well and you did too.

Someone took a picture. Yes, we know that's this podcast. Yeah, I keep forgetting them on. Sometimes I think I'm a ghost haunting this podcast and the whole time I've been listening to myself. But yeah, I really I want to think that, you know, since it's part of it. It's on the job requirement getting hired at Starbucks.

Anyway, someone had that horse duck.

Question on him, right, Yeah, I think I saw that.

Okay, okay, horse duck, yes, okay, now, first question, thank you, Steven, and also.

Sorry, okay, that's real question from at dot ang Underscore Angie, would you ever consider taking a road trip for the podcast?

Love it?

Yeah? I do too.

I imagine if we were on a long desert road going to, oh, I don't know, Palm Springs.

Let's just make it Palm Springs. Okay, I can't think of a destination we would.

First of all, it would be just logistically, it would be its calm studio setting almost if we're just on a straightaway.

Oh right, No one's going to drive in front of us.

There is actual no traffic or lock wielding bike murderers.

Right.

And then I also just logistic, we would hammer out probably three episodes.

Oh yeah, that's true, depending on how far we went.

We just have to have a thing to go to.

What if we did an entire season in a.

Car on the road across the country.

Yes, we just keep putting posting shows.

What if we did a road trip season.

Roads Root sixty six, we revisit rout sixty six.

Oh yeah, Historic Root sixty six sometimes shows up on Google Maps has a direct turn on Root sixty six. But there's no old timey rickety wooden signs from back when that.

Was a route, right, it's just on Google Maps.

Yeah.

And sometimes there's like an old motel with a neon sign that's how you know.

Yeah, yeah, or a prospector's body.

Uh, with a chest of gold.

I never found my nuggets.

Oh wait, is there a junior high fight in front of the Floral Place?

Oh?

Look at the group of kids backpacks versus fannies.

Nah, they're just there there, they're just waiting across it. It's weird. It's a flower shop.

Oh they all got out of school because it's three fifteen.

Just a little graphic design trivia. The valveline logo is the same as vagiciles.

No, yeah, there's just a slight little the bottom of the V.

It's a little and the blue is purple purple on patches, so anyway, next question, Steven.

Yes, we're definitely gonna go on a road trip at some point. We have to.

But I didn't make a dipstick of Okay, sorry.

Those are two products that need to come together.

They do, they do. It makes more sense than Kentucky for had chicken and taco bell. That's just a real estate there.

I guess Okay, We're ready.

Okay, which ercolep says, if you if you had Angeline on the podcast, what would one question that you would ask for Angeline?

The woman in Los Angeles who's famous for being famous. She's been on billboards across Los Angeles since the late seventies.

I believe I'm afraid that all of them.

I would just be very kind to her because I have a feeling it would be a situation that would make us sad. Like I don't think she's a vibrant storyteller that is filled with joy.

I feel like there's a.

It's as cool as she is, and as cool as her history is and interesting as her story is, that it would maybe be a bit.

Of a bummer.

And I'm only saying that because I know someone that wanted a raffle thing where she spent the day with Angeline, and it was kind of a sad situation.

I would imagine.

Yeah, I was in the grocery store that's on Laurel Canyon.

Ooh, sorry to send a kids, Okay, putting that down.

Were you sending a gift? I did?

I'm oh, did you see that? Took a right from the middle?

Yeah? Oh yeah.

The lines of an asshole's car modern white, riddled with white confidence.

Okay, some pedestrians.

I was in the grocery store in Laurel Canyon, which is this very small grocery store that's been there since the sixties. They don't stock enough items, and when you stop there you regret it deeply because you can't really.

I think that having Angeline in the car would be like.

No, no, I was there and she was.

Oh, for god, same everyone, let's go a freeway or new road trip.

Sorry I'm yelling, I'm deaf in one ear.

There's something seriously going on. Why is it so packed out here right now?

I don't know. It's lunch traffic.

It's it's definitely three pm lunch traffic.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's it's it's I wanted to say happy hour.

It's rush hour starting the opposite of happy hour.

Yeah, I was in that store and Angeline was in line in front of me.

What was she buying?

I can't remember. I just remember the outfit.

Thanks everybody for running these road lights. Super not cool, especially you. She was wearing like a very small veil in front.

Of her face. I think she's one of those people that she was.

So she is so tuned and I guess identified by her beauty that the fact that because she's in her I think late sixties or early seventies, so she is not perfect faced anymore and she doesn't like it.

Also, apparently there's been some discount procedure aftermath.

Oh no, some thin nose coverage.

Oh right, skin wise and there So if you win the contest to drive around in her newer Corvette, there is a Geisha type fan in.

Front of her face. She will keep up yeah while driving. So that's someone that Okay.

The answer to the question of me, I just asked about the past, the heyday, the past, like how did you first get discovered or how did you first make people discover you? Those kind of questions, not like what did you do yesterday?

But what about if you if Angeline watched Succession, then you could just.

Talk to her about like a show that you had in common or I guess.

You don't watches, but oh I watched all of it. Oh did you? I just closed out the last Oh I mean that begod? Yeah?

Yeah, just talk about a third item.

Yeah, figure out common interest and talk about that, not her life will.

Or what she yeah like, what aside from all these other things outside of Hollywood, what she passionate about or whatever. Just get is get an actual personality.

Politics, Let's talk politics. Okay. I think we figured that out.

Yeah we did. Okay. Kind of related to the Succession thing.

At petit says if you could kill off any character from a current television show, who would it be?

Oh boy, I mean, I'm a huge fan of mary Anne, and of course I would have mary Anne be killed. But that's already giving away too well. The show is named after the main scary witch ghost. I starts very frustrating that she seems to be not defeatable, so if I could kill her off?

Yeah, I started watching that show on your recommendation, and I had to turn it off after the lady. It's in the very beginning that was like oh, just that because it was like, well, very late at night. Her face was so scary.

To watch it, just her acting ability, and then you get a contrast it when she's normal. That is one of the best actress actors.

I've ever seen in my life.

Okay, I keep all the acting and it is so good, and you have to be watching it in French with subtitles. Don't watch the English because it's beautiful sounding and whoa, and you have to be reading it. It's like reading a book. You can enjoy it more than people in France are enjoying their own show.

You know what.

I was, whoa? What you Everyone is crazy? Jesus, that was amazing. That was again in a car coming.

Straight at us, coming straight at us on the wrong swing.

Very fast. Thinking he was, Oh god, did you get a picture that? I mean, Oh my god? Yeah, who would I ad? I don't know.

You go next, what would you want to kill?

Oh? Kill off on a show?

Well, I think it would be interesting on the Righteous Gemstones to kill off John Goodman, which I know is sacrilege, even say.

It's such a similar show to Succession. I feel like I.

Made a joke about that recently. Yes, because I was like, what if what if they are very similar? And I was like, what if they The.

Place where they're joined is that at that amusement park.

It's owned by the roy family, but it's about the Gemstone family.

Yeah, but anyway, Yeah, I think you're probably, but then there'd be no more Goodman in it.

Well, but so I think if Goodman was out, then it's all of those people competing to be in charge of that church.

Oh so you think it would be helpless story?

I mean, I just think it would be interesting because suddenly then it wouldn't be the three siblings together, which is what just happened.

Yea, it is so much like.

Yeah, it's so very similar.

It's so funny. But then it could.

Be even a me husband, yeah, daughter that's trying to fit in, Like they came out at the same time.

So we can't be the first people to talk about this. I just can't imagine.

Most people are comparing it to the Trump family succession, I think, which I was, But but yeah, Righteous Stemstones very good.

I don't usually watch comedies. Yeah, same, uh, And it's a great one, it really.

Is, And I'd really genuinely adore I almost called him Kenny Powers.

Him.

You know, I was getting a little tired of his Yeah, I say some dumb on confidence.

His name though, what's his name? Fucking adore that guy.

Yeah, he's very good in this, he's like acting in it.

Yes, it's a different it's a different character than he said before. It's the same type of dude because he's so good at playing that kind of dude. But it isn't isn't the Kenny Powers thing. It's a different. It's like Kenny Powers North.

Yes, yes, Northeast, Yes, yes, it's the the Highland Park of Powers.

Oil Heights Powers.

Okay, all right, at Logan X.

Besides us almost getting too accident, Now, what's your worst car experience?

Yeah, I would just talk about the accident that when we first started, and you're Honda fit, which we're behind one now, and I'd get that that being crushed in a car by two other cars was. But I've had other more lighthearted experience. I've just had so many shitty cars that leaked oil and I'd have to pull over and periodically put water in them, just like a person that didn't have money and never had a good car. So many scary I had a car once stop, it

Worst nightmare ever.

And of all NICKI Glazer came and picked me up and helped me get the car off the road.

That's so nice.

Yeah, I it was just like the last person and we were pretty close back then, and she was great. I didn't have triple A of course, like what but that was scary. If you die, if you stop on the freeway. It's always like when there's traffic and you see that it's because some person's car is in the road, you're like, oh, come on, bud, like you're mad at them, amost. Yeah, but I was that person and it was so damn scary on the freeway.

Yeah, in a crappy camera that I maybe drove for a month.

That's horrible.

Yeah, it had a timing belt that was ready.

Well I'm going to do something legal.

Oh yeah, I like it right next to the Delancey Street halfway house.

We'll keep it up, guys.

Yeah, you can kick the habit of doing bad.

I will say.

I will just name off a couple quickly. I was flipped out of the back of a truck. I I rear ended people. And when I was in college, I used to drive so fast. I was such an idiot and I rearded people constantly. It was like what I did on the weekend I was in I basically got tea boned and my air bag went off, and I think.

Weren't we just talking about that?

Maybe I was talking to somebody else about it that it made me believe in the Honda fit because I got tea boned with a guy going to like four five miles an hour. And although it was shocking and like I was a little bit sore the next day, nothing happened.

To me for some way.

Yeah, I saw it. I got you find this car has even more equipped.

I think. I think so.

One time, yes, in my old Lexus, I was going down Riverside and there was a man in front of me that was stopped but didn't have his brakes, like his foot on the brake, so there were no lights on. It looked like he was going forward.

Oh wow.

And so I had to like I was just kind of slightly not looking like, wasn't focused.

I was like kind of thinking. I slam on the brakes and like really hard.

So I come within like six inches of his back bumper because he was waiting for a parking spot with his foot off the brake.

And then right as I was like, I didn't hit him, and I was like, oh fuck.

And then I look in the review mirror and this car is sailing at me and the car behind me never even put on their brakes.

They just slammed into the.

Back of the mind and you saw it, yoh yeah, oh no, and that Lexus. I was absolutely fine. There was nothing wrong with me, which is a miracle. And the car behind me hit me so hard. The spare tire is housed up underneath because it was the Exus lest Lexus suv, it was housed underneath. He hit me so hard that the spare tire came out and flew backwards. Oh my, so like the force went backwards. I got hit so hard it was fucking crazy.

Oh wow.

Yeah, I'll never forget when I got rear ended that I noticed upon impact the glove box open, and then when we hit the car in front of us, it immediately shut. And the first thing I saw was a ballpoint pen stuck in the vent.

Here.

It just flew out of the glove box and then was stuck in the vent and my face slammed down right next to it, and that was the first thing I noticed.

It's like, wow, that pen almost went in my eye. Also, we got a huge car wreck.

Yeah, it was anyway, there's scary things that can happen in cars very much.

So yeah, okay, alkaline photos. Ask Karen believes in Bigfoot?

Does Cris believe in anything in any mythical creature, realm, ghosts, aliens?

Oh yeah, I mean I have become since I've lost people and then felt their presence. I was an anti ghost person. I didn't want to hear your ghost stories. I'd even experience some things and dismiss them, thinking, oh, that was just a cool breeze, or maybe those glasses were stacked where that's why they fell down, or maybe people were laughing in the next room and it wasn't just dead.

I think working girls is the right word.

Anyway, I've experienced things, and then when my friends act died, I kept certain songs, kept playing my phone, kept going to the last text. I'd pick up my phone, and it was just on the last correspondence I had with him.

There was little things that were.

Very hard to ignore and made me shudder, but also made me feel happy, and I felt like he was there, and to me, that was someone's spirit or whatever. And that is that's when I became the religious man you see.

To.

The straight up Bible thumper that you are.

That's why I've been so scared to believe in ghosts is because it's like, well, shit, now do I have to become like a Christian guy. I don't believe in that necessarily, or the story the rules. I don't think you have to follow.

To believe that.

Yeah, you don't have to, because I think believing in ghosts is really just saying you admit you don't know, right, Go dummy.

I'm very much gobi gomi, go go dummy.

Don't get killed.

Yes, I am a spiritual person. I believe in ghosts. I don't spend much time worrying about aliens though. There's so many domestic problems that we have a real but I'm sure they're out there, and I bet I never meet one.

Knockwood. Yeah, okay, next question.

All right at Tracer Racer X. Oh. I like the way that they were this. I would like to know who tell you both to drive? This is not Shade. Tell me the individual stories of your driver's situation.

Yeah, not Shade sang it that way.

There's so many funny moments oddly hidden in the Flintstones cartoon.

And one of them once was, hey, buddy, who taught you how to drive?

And Fred Flintstone was like mister Stoneley a Rock Rock High school or whatever, like he told his driver's head teacher.

And when I was a little kid, I was like, oh that was a smart joke.

Yeah.

The other one was a lady behind It was always in traffic too, a lady behind him.

It was the light was green and she said any particular shade agree you're waiting for soney. It was on the Flintstones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, yeah.

So you love Thests, that's your answer.

The answer is, oh, yeah, I used to go with my dad and we'd go to the baseball fields where I had little leg and I would try and drive that Volkswagon bus, all the more reason that I was excited that it would one day be my car, or disappointed when.

It was sold before I had my driver's license.

But it was very hard stick to learn to drive, like a long you know, it was like three feet long, and the clutch was very difficult, and it was very hard for me to learn. But I always drove a stick after that, and now they don't make those anymore pretty much.

So your the answer is your My dad.

Did, and then the driver's ad too.

You.

It was a big part of high school. Yes, it was the class I was so equipped.

Do you remember your drivers? Said teacher's name? By chance?

No?

No.

He did do some bizarre things, though, because we had to learn to drive in the snow, So we'd go up to a snowy mountain road and then out of nowhere without warning, he would just pull the emergency break.

To see how you could handle it.

Yeah, but there's no handling an emergency break situation.

You are just gonna whip a one eighty and end up in a ditch.

I didn't know how crazy it was until I became an adult, I'm like, what was the best case scenario?

There?

Was?

He crazy?

Uh?

I think it was like maybe it wasn't the best decision, but he was basically going, anything can happen when you drive, especially in the snow.

Yeah, and so let me tell you that while I also let off some steam.

Well, our driver's said teacher. So my dad also taught me. My mom was like, come back when you know how to drive, basically, so my dad did it, and he was He was very bad at it because my dad yells. Basically, as my mom explained it when I was growing up, she goes, he yels because he's scared.

Right right, then, that's funny.

It was kind of helpful.

But also just when you're when you're being yelled at and driving, it's it's very high pressure.

Yeah, that's why I can do it now.

But we also had this driving teacher, and he taught at the public high school where there was way more kids. So we had to I think it was sophomore year because it was when you were fifteen going on sixteen. We had to go to the public high school to take driver's ed. And I was so nervous with who was good because the two kids took every.

Driver's ed thing. So I was like, who's it going to be. It's going to be this public school kid.

I'm going to get bullied, I'm going to get beaten up, I'm going to someone's going to be mean to me. What it was so freaked out about it, and I will show up the first day. It's my friend Patty Leoni, who goes to school with me, and we were so excited. Really oh oh, oh, my god, my god. But this teacher you would drive around. You had to go to the high school at like five thirty in the morning, what, yes,

That was your choice.

And so Patty and I would just be and then after like a half an hour, we get back into the car and drive some more.

So you'd learned a lot from that guy.

Yes, that's well, basically he broke it up so that if we were supposed to be if the class was two hours, he was teaching us for one hour or or an hour and a half.

But he was just he's the one that always did it. He had been.

He taught pretty much every teenager in my hometown how to drive. Oh, okay, and he had it was the car with the brakes on his side.

Oh.

It was like an official you know driving.

We didn't have that.

Yeah, it was like it was very official.

Yeah.

I don't I think that my guy was the same thing. I just don't remember him. He yeah, but that's it's amazing that you had to go early in the morning because we just had a class, a driver's ad class, and we did it during that period.

Oh, we had that too, but this was oh sorry, this was driver's training.

Hi.

Hi, go ahead, we made room with you because we are the.

Hi.

Yeah, let's just wagh this out. They don't seem to be in that much of a hurry. Must be a drop off, just drop off, not a pickup. Does that make sense?

We already lost this one. Let's go through the motions.

Okay, just a quick follow up to that from the liseness asked, have you ever taught anyone to drive or planned to? I guess in the future.

I don't know how you Yeah, it seems like a job. I got to become a dad. First. I had an audition where I had to pretend to teach an actor kid to drive, and he dog but he's so happy about his sweater.

That one was actually smiling that dog. Yeah.

So it was an improvised audition and there was a real kid and I I do. I was impressed with how much I remembered in my improv of how to drive. Yeah, check me, hear all the things you need to do first.

That's funny.

And then afterwards the kid was like, actually, that was pretty good. It seemed like my driving teacher because he had just learned to drive.

Oh that's funny.

Yeah.

I can't have I ever taught I may have taught people how to drive a stick because my dad it was very important to my dad that my sister and I learned how to drive.

A stick Yeah, so that we can amoret.

It's not because they barely make them, but his whole thing was you need to be able to get out of any situation.

At any time. Yeah. So yeah, so we learned.

We were taught how to drive sticks, and very few other people I knew knew how to so yeah, yeah, so I think I taught people how but I can't remember it specifically.

Yeah. Next, next question, all right.

At Princess xenon favorite Halloween costume you've done.

I can answer this one because it was a year.

It was my It should have been my sophomore year in college, but I'd already flunked out and we threw Halloween party at our house. I lived there with Malava Christy and Patty Riley and oh that guy.

And.

I was I went to the thrift store and bought this full on Jackie O NASAs outfit and including the pillbox hat, and then I put blood on the front and I.

Was supposed to be Jackie O the day that JFK was murdered.

Oh yeah, that was for people I had.

Well, no one really saw me because I got drunk before the party even start and it was passed out in my room. Hey, so I had my perfect outfit and I was just passed out on my bed for the whole party.

Oh wow, that's like an actual sad store.

Yes, yeah, as many of my college days.

Were I've done things like that. Well I've got you know, I don't have the energy. I'm going to sleep. I've had some wines, but you actually passed out, like didn't remember sleeping.

Oh yeah, no, I don't remember. No, That's how I drank.

It was like a gatorade in vodka was a big drink because we thought it went into your bloodstream faster.

Oh wow.

We were very serious about getting through.

The alcohol hopped on the back of an electro lightly.

And went straight to your drunk center.

That's so funny.

My mount might as well have done funneling or you know, only you put vodka in your butt.

Who knows what kids do?

They do crazy shit tag pods and shit.

So Chris, now you have to think of a different one, because, yeah, you just talked about this.

Well have I talked about the tree I made? I was in San Francisco staying in a friend's house. I was there a couple of days early and he had he works during the day. So I bought a cylinder that was meant for pouring concrete making a pillar, and it was it's just made a cardboard and I put bark on it.

Made branches. There was a bird's nest in it.

I my gloves had leaves and branches on the fingertips my feet, you know, I just put leaves on a pair of shoes. But and then I cut a hole like I was in the Winnie the Pooh honey hole of a tree and that was my faith.

And then I on stage.

I would never do this now, but it was Halloween, and I did stand up at that night as a tree, and I wrote some tree based material.

About you say you never do this, but there's just that last episode where you talked about being a vampire on stack.

I know.

And then I did it as evil Canievil. I keep breaking my own rule, but I'm not doing it this Halloween.

You promise in.

Austin, Cap City October thirty first, there.

Be there Austin October thirty.

First, playing clothes. Sorry, I've learned my lesson, but I that.

Night see us a couple tree jokes. Please.

Also, I wrote to stand up, I'm thinking of branching out into acting.

Like that's how he talked.

For some reason, the tree was from New York, Yes.

Yes, he was from Central Park. He had a backstory.

I did my work but I couldn't hear anything because I it was just in the top. There was the cylinder hole where all the branches were, but I didn't make ear holes, so I kind of had no idea what was going on. And afterwards I went out with people from the punchline. I was looking for an ATM. It was back in the days when phones were terrible. My phone had died, I had no money, Uber and

Help you find an ATM. Can I borrow a few bucks?

And I'm like sure, And then he started following me in the darkness and he got his arm he grabbed me, and I freaked out. And this is when the costume broke into pieces because I basically got in a fight with the guy. Or I swept his leg, I slammed him on the ground. I was hitting his head on the ground, and I know this isn't I've this. I got in a fight, basically, but I was scared. I

And I'm like and we just stopped.

And then I realized he was just a little crazy and maybe he was making a tree hugging joke.

He was not because he didn't gret.

He put his arms around me, though, but it wasn't aggressively enough for me. But when someone does that and you're I couldn't hear, all I had was my face whole.

I just lost my mind.

Sure, but I like the idea of people driving by and just seeing it's a giant tree slamming a man.

On the They're like that.

That reminds me of the Wizard of Oz.

Yeah, he clearly was a guy, a crack.

Crack.

It was a very he was I overparent powered, a very thin the street man. And I feel confronted by it. But I had the right to do it anyway. Yes, that's one of my favorite coss.

God.

I have a way of telling story that's called the long way.

At Chrissy, what I did as a kid? Did you ever call into a radio station to request the song? If so, what was it?

That's the best question.

That is a great word.

Who I can answer this because this is super embarrassing and stupid.

I When I was twelve, my uncle Steve died of a heart attack, very suddenly.

He was like in his late fifties. It was very surprising, and it was the first family death.

That ever spearance.

It was.

It was just bizarre.

And so I got there was a this radio station in San Francisco KFRC. It was. It was the radio station everyone listened to, was AM radio, and it was just what you always had on in the car and everywhere. Oh, because it was just like kind of top forty regular, you know. It was the one choice you had basically until you grew up and then you're like, oh man, km E L and yeah.

Yeah.

So one day I got it into my head and I called them because I wanted to tell them please do not play the song Papa is a Rolling Stone.

Oh wow.

I honestly like.

Had I had made up this whole speech in my head of like I really, you know, with someone died and it just don't do it where it wasn't even like that kind of radio station because that would kind of be.

An oldie yeah yeah yeah.

But I and so I called the place and it just rang and rang. No one ever picked up the phone, and then eventually I went like what am I doing?

And I just hung the phone, but.

It rang probably twenty times before I was like, stop it. You're just being weirdly dramatic, and.

You were calling to not request a song.

I was calling to actually tell them that there was a song that was now banned.

Oh god, I would that those songs that can come up right away, I would. I would call and say, please, don't ever can we delete the song?

Bird is the word? Now?

Can you can we delete it right now?

Damn, it's the last time I'll ever do it.

Yeah, that was kind of a normal thing to do when I there was a college radio station and I would see them going a little too far synth pop, you know, it was it was all music I kind of liked.

But then I would call and request songs.

It was kind of fun, like what, oh specific, I don't know, there's so many. If someone asked me, what's my favorite kind of music? Kind of it's too I can't answer it.

Okay, I don't know.

I don't remember, so you're just saying, yes, you.

Have, Yes, I have, there's time.

Yeah. One time in vand Oregon and I requested the Sundays that I feel fine because they were playing kind of.

That kind of music.

I'm like, I want to feel thought that one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it. I love it.

I love the Sundays.

I had her picture of my wall in that bedroom had Harriet Wheeler on the wall.

You should have.

She is the prettiest with the best voice. It was crazy that band, The Sundays. If you've never heard The Sunday's listeners and you like British pop.

Yeah, with awesome vocals and cool hooks. Yeah, The Sundays is your band.

If you like that Mazzy Starve song Fade into You, but didn't like any of their other songs because there weren't any.

Welcome to the Sundays.

There was give You My Love, and which is the first song I learned to play on the guitar because it's just genc wow. I actually, and this is just a related anecdote, but I think I told you this ready. But the way I found out about The Sundays was there was this record store in Sacramento when I was in college called the Beat, and we would go there, Me and my friend Patty Riley would go there because we didn't we considered ourselves to be like mods, I guess, or goths.

We didn't know. We just wore all black.

But you also wrote goth mods.

But we didn't know what to do, Like there was nowhere to hang out or whatever, and we were too young to go to bars, so we would just go to this record store called the Beat and walk and like hang out there. And while I was there one day just looking around, the Sundays, here's where the story ends came on.

Yeah that's one of their best songs. Yeah, sure, and.

It's probably the best.

Yeah, their first album and Arithmetic, And I ran to the front and was like who is this? Who is like freaked out, and then bought the album right there And I've been listening to it since.

I did that with a Frank Lacks first solo album after the Pixies is the best. And I heard it in a record store and said who is this?

And by it?

Yep, same thing.

I love that. Okay we made that question our own.

Yes we did. We morphed it.

She saw what we did there, Yeah, ye see what you did it? She see That's what she said, CEC, That's what she said.

Did Okay, this was a timely question. Howard said, how do you well this episode?

That episode is not even out yet when this is being recorded, how do you handle a restroom break if they need arises?

Oh? Wow, yeah you'll find out.

Yeah, the episode right before this, you asked the guests if we can go back to their house and use the bathroom, hoping his baby wasn't asleep. It was kind of embarrassing, But I don't think it's happened before that. But I really had to go yesterday.

Well, I was talking to Steven about while we waited for you guys, because we were out in the car, was I said, I have a theory that Chris knew he had to go to the bathroom, was just holding off in hopes that it would have come into play. Yes, and then basically realized that was a mistake and then.

Had to bust himself.

Yep.

Yeah, all this happens live on the show. Can't wait for you to hear it.

You are exactly right. I knew right away I should pee before we start. But how's that going to happen? We're already on the way to his house.

Yeah.

Always go at the office, yep.

Always, always, even if you don't have to.

Sports it out. Yes, that's so funny. That was my dad used to be.

Okay, next gout, Next.

At Kurtie Moons is who is your favorite Looney Tunes character?

Yeah, it has to be Bugs Bunny? Right.

He was just cool and funny and smart ass and yeah, always in control of the situation.

Yes, Bugs Bunny was a zen master. Really.

He never was in a bad mood. He never got emotional. He didn't react that way no matter what. If there's a gun in his face, right, people put him in a pot for stew.

It's he just chilled out.

He if you threw him in a pot filled with carrots, first of all, he'd be, hey, sweet.

I love carrots.

He was like, this is heaven and.

There's a gun to his face.

He does this saying where his eyes just kind of go droopy, like he's bored with how yeah, yet like he's like, if you're yelling at him, a gun point bugs money gets you for it and tired.

Yes, oh man.

He can also fucking play the piano like a son of a bitch. I think the only time Bugs Bunny's cool it was ever fucked with it anyway, was when that big weird red monster remember when the Big Weird red.

Oh no, that's not true though, because the Big Weird when he was like I love him and gets him a com But I don't think he liked that.

But remember we got the upper hand and started doing the monster's nails and talking like he was a manicurist.

Oh wow, that was bizarre.

Yes, there was like every once in a while bugs would be in drag or he would act like a girl. Yeah, just you know, to mess with people and to mess with gender roles.

Yeah, I loved it.

He was a great who's your who's the other cho? You know that guy that hunts trying to kill him on? No one likes that.

No one likes that senile murder, violence based. It's not a solution, Elmer, Fuck.

Stop it, that is all.

You can't just kill everything all folks. Okay, yeah, we really solve that. Answers easy on that one.

Yeah.

At Bunnie Punn's asked really to soup, speaking of what's your go to soup.

Karen and Rabbit. Yeah, I'm a big soup man. Uh I'm you know, I.

Like uh all soups.

I'm sorry, I'm just you don't seem to be able to name one.

So I'm not a huge fan of like lobster bisk that sounds so I'll just do like here's like the not request a song thing good idea lobster you like that's because you get excited. Bisc is a cool sounding word. Lobster yum. But it's just a little lobster and a blender.

Yeah.

And that cold soup shit that caspato, Get the fuck I'll kick it across the floor. You all other soups. I'm into tomato, sure, I'm not bored. Tomato chunks in it, even better, chicken rice, chicken wild ride, can noodle, Yes, any chicken based soup, MINESTRONI you bet?

How about split plea?

Fuck?

Yeah?

Split peas and I don't even like peas. I've talked about it.

You split them though, split please sl.

But I was going to say, what about my first and first and foremost answers broccoli, cheddar, cream of broccoli and jeddar.

Oh yeah that is it's just a meal, Yeah, yeah, it's right there.

And then that Yeah, my dad was always a big fan of the French.

Is it onions?

Yeah, yes, it's so good.

Crack it in there.

You get all kinds of bread.

All kinds of bread, all kind of up and down. Okay, yeah, don't get a startus on soups.

Artists on soup split please Sorry, that wasn't even a good.

Joke, and I brought it.

Split please split please okay.

At Christina seven says, what was the dumbest crime you committed as a child.

We talked about this last episode two. I jumped in on car yeah, cop.

Car, oh min would be?

I shoplifted one jolly rancher that was literally two cents, but my mom wasn't there to pay for it, and I needed candy because I was at the store where we always buy candy, and I was like, I couldn't deal with the idea that I couldn't have any so I took it and then felt so guilty that I had to tell on myself, like two.

Days later, like I went to my mother crying and it.

Was yeah, because when I was young, I stole one of these little whistles that goes who like there's a there's a fan in the middle. It's just a plastic cylinder, and I put one in my pocket at this from this party store in the mall, and then I hit it for a couple of days, and then I brought it back and got caught putting it back. And I said, I put this in my pocket and I'm putting it back, and and uh, I think the person believed. Nothing happened after that, so I guess they believe me.

That's when you learned to lie.

Yeah, yeah, at least, like even if you're being honest and bringing something back, don't be.

That honest where it like fucks with your life.

I had to go in. I had to go in. My mom goes, what do you think you should do? What do you think the answer should be? And I was like, give money to charity.

Oh.

Then she's like, why don't you go in and tell them that you did it and pay them? Because we saw it was the Aegis's family. It was Agis's grocery store, and we went there every single day and bought candy. So it made no sense that I would shoplift because we were always there, we always had our own money, like it was a very odd thing, but it was because we were with the Tammlers, a different family who were They were like, you can't buy candy, We're just

Felt so terrible.

Yeah, And at this point I would say to my mother, I was I think five. She I could have had a little more help with that whole moral situation.

Yeah, that's a little young. At least go in with me, Yeah, I think. Yeah, I had to have been seven or eight. It's amazing how I can't. That's a very dissonant memory, but it is very vivid. Maybe I was that around that age too.

Yeah, Okay, let's do one last one because we're almost back to that.

Yeah, yeah, okay, and Angela's nineteen seventy nine says.

What's the best road trip you've taken as an adult?

Oh, I I drive a travel It's so much a party doing comedy that I'm like, road trips aren't a fun thing.

And a road trip suggests there's other people with you. ID so many fun ones. Just a group of dudes in a car going snowboarding.

We would drive, we would drive.

We'd go to Vegas just to go there and show that we grew mustaches and bought bad suits and drive back. It was just a reason to not be in the house. But I think this tour I'm going on and uh, renting a car and going to all those cities I think will be a fun road trip for me because I'm going to you know, different city every day, driving in a car, renting a car. So I think I'm about to go on my favorite adult road trip that you.

Know what, You just did that perfectly because it's the perfect last answer. Yeah, you added a plug. Yeah my answer. I agree with Chris. That's my answer too. And now let's end because I have one minute before to get.

A phone call.

You've been listening to Do you need a ride? He went a r.

I leave in you want to way back you do I you want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. Give us time and a terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style. Do you want to welcome you back home? Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Melbourne?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Cress Mmm