S2 - Ep. 18 - David Huntsberger

Be sure to stay tuned at the end of this episode of Do You Need a Ride to hear the trailer for the Fall Line's newest season, season five, the disappearance of Shaikema pate Here on the Exactly Right.

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Hey Karen, Thanks, You're welcome. Are you leaving on? You wanna way back home? Either way, we.

Want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you clus time and they terminal engage. We want to send you off install. We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared or was it fine? Malbourne? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need with Karen and Chris.

Welcome to Do you need to ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen col Garreff.

We are driving in my neighborhood.

That's right, Silver Lake, California, California.

I love the state of California.

It is so sunny, it is warm, you guys.

I am standing next to my air conditioner, not currently no, but in my living room. I bought a little R two D two robot that has a tube that goes out the window, and I stand right in front of it.

I haven't said it like.

It's lowest setting sixty four degrees and so it will cool neck below and then my ceiling is emanating a poltergeist amount of heat. Just I don't know where it's coming from, but it's clearly it's probably not a ghost.

That I think it's the wood burning stoves upstairs.

It's probably all those stoves, all the Christmas decorations that have been stored from the family before me and then left their wood burning stoves on.

It insulated your specific apartment with because tinsel is one of the hottest conducting materials that there is.

Do not insulate your attic with tinsil.

Please.

There's fire reasons what your dad would let us know about, and then there's also just the heat.

There's heat. There's also religious reasons. There's a taste factor.

It is a problem in my place, but I'm dealing with it good and I think I'm just going to insulate it.

Get someone to shoot some pink panther up there.

Yeah, right, not pink panther, but filled with tiny shards of.

Glass, Yes, because that keeps you cooler, right, That's that's the thing I love about insulation. I can't remember where we were, but I'm sure it was at that first house we grew up in where it was laying like in the garage. My Dad's like, never touch that. Never because it's pink. So like little girls, it looks like pink cotton candy. Oh yeah, Like I was about to dig both hands straight into it.

Why would they make it pink?

Why would they make it these cotton candy candies, cotton kidney candy ad for your kidneys, and as another the color looks exactly like the candy.

Are you trying to endanger children?

I think so.

I mean I would say they invented that kind of insulation what in the forties, And that was right after they the government made it illegal.

For children to work.

And I think there's a lot of people, especially in the insulation industry, that resented that.

Are you believing any of this? I believe you.

Yes, I think that they're they've been hunting. Why else would you have a known lovable cartoon character as the mascot. Also, let's make it look like the pink panther.

Oh is he?

Yes, In general, he's the mascot for I didn't know that before I ever.

Sat and watched a Pink Panther cartoon.

I mean, he would be in the beginning of the movies starring what's his name. He's the best Peter Sellers see Peter Sellers movies. Other than that, I just knew the pink panther from insulation commercials.

That's hilarious and being the mascot.

So you're just targeting children, that's right.

To take these shards of fiberglass and put them in their mouths, yeah, they're little developing mouse.

And rub them all over their arms.

It's the same thing you do it with cotton candy, right, Yes, go to the fair.

You put little in your mouth, you rub the rest under your arm.

The rest is like a nice lotion that kind of melts into your skin. Its foliates. It does the same thing as a good sugar wax.

It is because it just attracts bees. The beest sting your skin, the skin sloughs off. Everybody knows this.

These are like not in these days. They don't because bees are dead. That's right, there's no bees anymore.

This generation has none of this esoteric knowledge about bees.

That's old.

They just think kids these days think bees just always limp solo on the sidewalk with a missing.

Wing, or just kind of float around in a pool waiting to die.

But no, bees used to be a real They were used to be the.

It girls of the earth for years, just fucking fertilizing shit.

They were making at first influencers.

They weren't always just voiced by Jerry Seinfeld at all.

They were and they traveled in packs. A lot of people don't know that. They flew in school, yep. And they would stay you repeatedly.

One time, my mom, I won't retell for the millionth time the time I.

Got attacked by Swarman bees.

Instead, I'm going to go the alternate route and tell the story of the time my mom and I.

My mom came and picked me up from school.

So it was like the middle of the school day, right like one o'clock and the lady, the school secretary, I get called to the office and then the school secretary do I did nothing? My mom came to pick me up as a surprise. Oh wow, she picked me up and we drove up. We were driving out to the beach and that was my fun like surprise. She would do stuff like that all the time, of like you don't have to go to school today.

And the principle was like that sounds great, why don't we surprise her in my office?

Well yeah, it was like no.

She would show up and I'm sure tell a little fib of like I need to pull Karen out of a class, Okay, we have to go to a thing, But she wouldn't tell me. So it was my surprise.

See that sounds fun. I don't know that my mom ever. That not that we're having a mom contest.

It's if we are.

I won you did so, my apologies to you. But here's the creepy part. This one time she did it. We were driving out to the beach and it was just middle two Rock Road, just a two lane highway. There was no other cars on the road, and we're talking and just regular, and all of a sudden we drive through a swarm of bees that are traveling up the road on our side of the street. So all of a sudden we both go, what's that little black clot and then the entire windshield is covered in smash bees?

What it was fucking crazy.

It was like it was like they lost their uh yes to know what they should have where they should be going, and they just like you know it was And also I bet you they were flying with the queen or whatever where they had to all go in one big group.

Yeah, even though the queen was drunk that day.

She was hopefully she wasn't in charge. Were you just clutching your test like an shock and horror? No, it looks like this is a pretty good story I got.

I got a case of the vapors out of the hold my chest, and you saw me kind of put my limp hand against the back of my hand against my forehead.

You did drop your kerchief, which I thought was unnecessarily flirty during the show.

I'm way of goodbye when I leave from train tonight without my kerchief?

Are you who fan of farewell?

Mister senator, I'm always visiting. Didn't on a train the best way to travel? I'd probably have told my bee story. But there's a couple of times I was told I was allergic to be as as a child.

If this is the one that takes place on a West Country Western film shoot, I'm gonna stop you.

But I do have one about a scorpion. Okay, okay, we won't.

But I was colin farre Yes, God its eyebrows.

There is a I've been thinking about dying mind dark by the way, just so I can make fifty expressions, why not.

I was repelling on the side of a rock with some of my sister's older friends.

She worked.

They were from the South, and I'd never repelled, hows to you. I was probably fifty feet up. I was learning, and it was above a river, and I kicked a beehive and it rolled down my legs and landed in my lap. No momentarily I got covered by bees. No, they started stay staying me. I let go of the ropes and landed in the water, and in bees. It was the best thing I could have done. Is land in that water. They hate water, yet.

Cold water, and but don't they wait above the water?

They hovered those yellow jackets.

Oh, okay, or which there's plenty of in Montana, but no honey bees, the ones that matter anyway, These guys stung me about the.

Crotch, and because it landed right in your lap.

And I happened before one other time in organ I was on a rope swing and swung right into ohivea bees And those are two different times I thought I was going to die.

There's too many times that adults have told.

Me I'm going to die and then the thing happens and I don't die.

So who don't listen to adults?

No, especially adults that say you'll die because of bees.

Unless you're mcaulay Culkin in the film My Girl, It's probably.

Not going to happen.

That is how he died.

It's shockingly how he died.

Little boy from a family line of grade at rswing boys.

Have you watched Succession, the HBO series, No, because Kiaren Colkin, who is his younger brother, is.

On it and he's so good. Oh, he is great. He's so good.

He's the best Kulcan in my book. Now that we're supposed to pick a Culkin.

You don't have to pick.

But in terms of performance, being a dynamic performer, Karen Colkin is he to me, he's on par with Robert Downey. You he has that charisma. You can tell he's amazing at like when they improv stuff.

Right, He's he's just so good.

He's been great since he's a kid, since Dangerous Lives of altar boys.

Ooh. I also really caught hold.

Of him in Scott Pilgrim.

He was he was the gay roommate and he was so good, so good. It's a good movie.

I just watched yesterday because traffic was bad and I just pulled over.

Sometimes I pull over and just go walk into a movie theater.

That's one of my favorite things to do.

And I saw that New Tarantino movie Once upon a Time in Hollywood, which you know it was. Let me just say, Brad pitt, I will you know me as I had aero sexual man.

But I really am very attracted to him. And as he gets older on a spectrum.

He's morphing into what's his handsome ass name.

Paul Newman.

Paul Newman. Yeah, he's just turning into him.

Yeah, that's that's a good plan. On Bradford. He's like, he's just oh yeah, Robert Redford would be the one he.

Looked because in this movie he's wearing all denim.

He's the same, like the kind of wrinkles that somehow make you more handsome.

I get it. It's not that it's collecting a white man.

I just want to be him, not that that was on the heels. I don't want to be a white man.

Don't put don't pin me into that.

At this point in life, though, I think it's my only choice.

Yeah, you can't really do much about it there these days.

But man, there's Brad Pitt's very good in it.

I can't wait to see.

I think it's I like watching Brad Pitt become a better actor over these thirty years that he's been in films, because he used to really not be good.

There's some movie with Ricky Schroeder where he's like a track runner and it's like he's reading the lines off the lens.

Yeah, the camera, but I mean he really was Originally he's like Matt Dillon. He was cast as a teenage boy because he is incredibly beautiful.

So like, you don't it's not the same.

It's like, it's not like they came out of Juilliard going here's my big shot or whatever.

It's just like, let's get this face up on the screen. We want to look at it. I went to Julliard.

Did you watch It's a John Levenston Levenstein Levin Levenstein that you've worked with. Frankenstein's Monster's Monster.

It's so funny.

Oh, I have to watch. I haven't taken the time.

I don't know the guy, and I sent him a private Twitter message. I didn't want to make it public, and I said, smart, absolutely, maybe it's offensive.

Well you should go back and then do your own I love the show, just public, I will, I will.

I'm going to watch it and do the same thing.

It's so great.

I'm sure it is because John Levenstein truly is one of the funniest people I've ever been around. And he is a good He's written in so many rooms that he really knows how to make good comedy.

And and this is like a verye's. It reminds me of couple that.

It reminds me of that documentary now series, but it's a perfect one.

Yeah.

And it also reminds me of do you remember Shelley Duvall's like.

The fairy Tale Tale?

Yes, yes, all of the scenes it was like a stage play or it was going back to these plays that he did where he's constantly announcing.

That he went to Juilliard. Yeah, it's so.

It just reminded me of my childhood somehow, even though it's.

A new thing. I love it. I can't wait.

It's great. And the guy from Stranger Things is amazing.

David Harbor. Harbor, thank you. Yeah, he's good.

I will just say the guy from and then you can chime in their actual name for the rest of our lives.

What do you say? That sounds great? It's a plan.

I The only problem is I do I can do it if you're talking, But if I'm not sure about a name while I'm talking, I will not be able to find it, and I panic. There's like a whole secondary internal conversation that happens.

It's maddening.

Yeah, it's kind of like if you know, if someone's telling me I need to learn math or need to learn the rules to a board game and it's time to sit down and listen, I will just make my brain go blank.

Yeah.

And if I'm overhearing the rules to a board game. That's a weird example, but it is an anxiety I get yeah, or math or anything, I will.

I will memorize it. Then if it's off in the distance.

Can I say it. I can hand here's my armchair quarterback.

Like reasoning, similar to an armchair general. You're just not talking about the war you're talking sports.

That's right, but actually I'm talking just talking about you admitting that issue because I have the same thing. I think there are times when we were young where there's too much pressure on the moment of you have to learn, you have to listen to this so that you can

And it's such a fucking setup.

And I can name like seventeen different things where it's like, Karen, will you go into the store and get that piece of paperwork and tell the person that whatever, where it's like, no, I'm eight years old, I'm going to fuck this up.

Don't put it on me just because you're busy. It's that thing.

Where it's like, my anxiety kicks up at these very strange moments that don't make sense to other people. But it's shit like that where you're like, if you if someone told you it's really important that you have to hear this right now, and then you went on to not hear it and fuck it up one time.

I'm sure you carry that with you.

Oh it my whole life through all of school into college.

I thought I was just dumb.

Yeah, and no one's I mean no offense to I mean they I'm sure they said you're not dumb many times.

I bet they didn't.

They rejoiced in the You're probably right, I was so late to talk. I had convulsions as a baby. They were just happy that I was able to feed myself.

Yeah, so it was a huge victory for you that day that you was a lovely sandwich.

It was apparent I did my own crusts. But I'm fine everyone.

I'm not dumb.

I just can't do things on command. I'm not a dog, that's right.

And I bet you have a touch of what I have, which is like my my therapist argues with me. But I like to say that I have defiance disorder, where if you want me to do something, that's exactly the thing I can't do.

I had that too. Then.

Yeah, like if it's like, oh, you're we're all supposed to be really quiet right now, I will be filled with an uncontrollable urge to talk and giggle and do stuff.

And it's like, it's I have the devil in me.

That's all I that is when I will laugh, I always, I will watch the funniest of comedy and I don't go into a giggle fit. When I did a little dust thing with Jake on that corporate we were supposed to be serious and we were looking at each other and then I'm like, I know this acting required. The first thing it requires is you not to giggle uncontrollably, right, But we couldn't stop giggling, to where everyone was getting frustrated.

They're like, seriously, you guys, stop laughing. It's like, of.

Course, yeah, we're holding up the day. Everyone is doing their job. Let's stop laughing. And it went on for a half hour. We had to take a break. We couldn't stop laughing.

Well, also, whoever told you angrily to stop is clearly a person who doesn't know that the human psychology word. That's exactly when you're going to do it more, because then it's just like then it because you know, then it's a whole different thing. That's like laughing at a funeral where nothing's funnier than anything that happens at a funeral, even slightly because you cannot laugh. I told you that, I'll do it again. I'm easily.

This is time number eight, the time we were at a family funeral. We look over my dad. It's just after communion.

My dad is kneeling saying his post communion, you know, prayers.

We look over.

He's got a pair of socks on that say I'm sixty and me my sister points at it and we start laughing like it was total tears were It was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

And you knew that half the laughs were happening because you shouldn't have been doing it.

Yeah, those socks weren't that funny, but they really are funny.

They're pretty funny.

Well, the fact that we're positive my dad didn't know those are the socks he grabbed like that he wasn't looking or they were just black socks and he didn't look at both sides or whatever.

Oh, I love that they're also black socks, the socks that sixty year olds were.

I'm sixty.

These will be good for today's sad day. It's a reminder of my own mortality.

Yep, I'm the clock is taking on me as well. I'll wear my.

Socks that say the Earth is endlessly spinning.

This is but a blip on the overall timeline of life.

Speaking of the inner workings of time and the endlessness of an all, and the fact that today's comic that we're.

About to pick up has a lot of jokes about that stuff.

Does he Yeah, he's always got he's got like microbiology jokes, like he's got you know how far Side used to have Amieba's in the conversations they might have totally or things of fly might talk about. He actually does stand up about those situations, which is very risky.

Now, was he actually scientists of some kind before he got into comedy.

No, I think that he just that became his interest in his stand up just followed suit. I think that maybe he took science classes at his whatever college he went to in Nevada. We'll have him explain that. That's a good thing to ask him. We're gonna ask David.

We'll say what about your education?

We'll address him by name, and then I'll say something about Nevada, just to start it off.

Letting him know that I remember something about a guy I live with.

For five years.

You remember details. Yeah, you had a rich relationship.

As long as they're worthless.

And they don't help you in any way. Oh my god, me and my friends went to trivia night last night. You know how I try to pretend like I'm smart, right, I mean, I really do put myself out there. I speak in a very low register for a woman. I used ten dollars vocabulary words all the time. I don't know. Shit, it's crazy. Every single question what the first question was on mount what's the fucking mountain? With all the president's faces?

Rushmore? Rushmore? Who's on the far right? Oh?

I And everyone starts going okay, well, hold on, it's George Washing and talking it through.

I was like, you could say any president name right now, and I'd be like, sure, it's that guy. I no idea, is it Roosevelt? Nope?

Oh wow?

Oh do you want to guess until you get it?

I mean, I know this is going to be one of those situations where people are going to be disappointed in me and they're just going to text away. I'm still getting yelled at about Park City. Utah, would you do about it?

Oh? Because we've said, we.

Couldn't think of Park City people listen to old episodes. I've been yelled at for years. Oh yeah, just for not having that on the tip of my tongue.

That's the fun of a back catalog is people get to really dig into old mistakes you've made and you can't go back and take them out.

And I know that if we start listing the Rushmore guys, I'm gonna say a president that isn't even up.

There, give it a whirl.

I want to.

We're all gonna judge me. The first one on the left is.

Washington could be at her.

Then I believe is Lincoln on there?

Oh no, what he is? But he's on the far right. It's him.

It is Lincoln on the far right.

It's Lincoln on the far right.

Sure, because I was going to say it's Lincoln on there, because if so, I believe he's on.

The far right, that's what I should have. Let you finish.

No, yeah, yeah, that's you know, that's on you.

Yeah.

Then the two in the middle of.

Course, of course, of course Roosevelt is in there and taft daft.

That's why they have that bathing at that bathtub draft do daff died in a bathtub, and so there's a you can't see it from the front of the mountain, but they have chiseled the back of a bathtub into the back of the mountain.

Oh, the so south facing ballot, it's a bathtub.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's fun for that part of the Dakota that it's in north or south.

You tell me North. Neither Stephen.

In his South and until it was testing that for Stephen in his google ability.

Yeah, we need Stephen to really bone up on his mount rushmore info. Stephen, do you want to go ahead and tell us who those two middle presidents are?

It is Thomas your which is the Jefferson of course, that's mostice to George Washington.

Okay, and then Roosevelt Teddy with the little glasses one of my dad's fay.

He's apparently every day he got shot and the bullet just bounced off his chest.

Yes, I did. It was tough. There was a real good uh uh live show. I did work.

I covered his attempted assassination where he got shot in the chest and still went and gave a speech for ninety minutes with the bullet in his chest.

There he is.

So there was a comedian named Jay medisine Hat.

Oh.

It was a native comic who did hypnosis, and but he did it all while drinking heavily.

Oh and he was always at the comedy club in Boys.

He had always seemed like I even the time I first met Tig was on the heels of Jay medisine Hat being there. But while on stage in Boise, he had a heart attack and collapsed. EMTs came and he refused to go with them, and he got up and finished in twenty five minutes post heart attack. That is, he's no longer with us.

Man, that's legendary.

Yeah, yeah, that's incredible.

Sorry when you say he did hypnosis, so it was like a comedy act, but then he brought people in.

Stage right, Yeah, kind of like you know, the amazing Jonathan or something. He was funny and he's told stories. But then he'd bring people on stage.

And get him to act like chicken.

Yes, exactly, everyone was doing a chicken dance.

Yeah, apparently that's all in all of our subconscious is this, this desire to.

Act like a chicken.

And it just takes one stand up comic who's kind of sick of doing regular material to bring it out of us.

Yeah, it's it's It is always a chicken, isn't it.

It is. What do you think live scan fingerprinting is for.

Oh, it's like a business, horrifying.

Yeah, that's a business on the street we're driving down. It's like you go in to get fingerprinted just in.

Case you know I'm up. I'm up for a murder at some point.

I want to make sure they have the most live scan of my fingerprints, kind.

Of the most current fingerprints.

Yeah. I don't know when why you would need that technology.

That's why it's maybe a fledgling upstairs business in them all.

That's true with a thoughtless sign, the most plain sign.

I look at these new apartments.

I haven't finished watching it, but I started watching that The Great Hack.

Is it called the Big Hack, the Giant Hack?

The oversize?

Oh yeah, it's horrifying.

Of course.

It makes you want to go camping without your phone for the rest of your life, Yeah, which is called almost neess.

So I don't really want to do that, No, not at all. Well, that's and loneliness just wagh out Ooh look at their garden.

Camping in generals lonely. That's why I've just turned my bedroom into a campsite.

That's right, and you've done it well. I really that again. I'll tell you on Mike. That wallpaper that you've put up for yourself or the whatever you called it, picture big picture.

Photo murals, it's a photo mural.

Have anyone wants to go out and just create an outdoors the environment, Google photo wall murals and get yourself some hard to use glue.

It's cool. Now, I'm not.

Getting my deposit back. We know that we just.

Passed the place where I did pay a deposit and it turns out that it did not exist the place.

Oh that's when you got it.

It was a guy.

Yeah, I got scammed and then they ordered several phones. But we're out of the woods now, so to speak, and so why even bring it up.

Well, just because we drove by it, so we might as well. This is why we live in Los Angeles.

I'm glad that I didn't end up there.

Yeah, nice, me too.

But this neighborhood right by the way, it is Huntsburger's neighbor.

I apologize, just another thing to not bring up.

I'm glad.

I'm getting it all out now. Yeah, exactly. He won't listen he won't know.

No sounds good. I have the I have the flashers on. We're doing everything we can do right now.

In case someone wants to use it as what's that tiktoking thing that musicians use.

Oh, a metronome? A metronome?

Thank you. I was going to say, thereman, but that's the thing.

That goes dead on. It was eerie. I got the best in the business. There we go. Hi. Oh hey, David, we've been talking about you.

Oh hey David, Oh boy, Oh thanks, Oh.

My god, I haven't seen you in so long. Nice to see you. Hi.

Oh well, yes, you look at your parent's glorious thank you. It's really gotten into itself. You don't even have a part.

Yeah, it switched over that way naturally, really just on its own.

You know.

I didn't coax it in any way, really just decided it was too much hassle to go from, you know, kind of.

Three quarters of the way.

So no point. Did you put a comb in the center of your head?

Nope, Well I got into.

I guess we've all seen this growing up, where if you had a chance to see a woman in a shower commercial, or your own mother or sister or something they'd be and this is when they'd have like a towel around them.

You're not some creep in this situation. No, no you're not. You're a relative. Yeah, yeah, you're a child. If anything, you're you know, I don't want to say a victim, but you're just.

We've walked into a bathroom and they would like twist it, like pull the hair over to one side and just kind of squeeze out all the water. Sure, And I was like, that's a good move. So it sort of came back to me to try that because it's one awful thing about having really long hairs. It just keeps dripping.

M hm.

So then I want to do that, like twirl it up and throw a beehive on my head sort of towel, Oh you need?

You know, what you need is a Turby twist, which is a special towel that they sew that fits your head and only has a little bit of extra towel at the.

Top and that part you twist and then pin it back is then then a sensitive way to call it, like a turbine towel. Well, Turby twist.

Yeah, you know, I never thought whoa sorry they do they not stop sign.

Sorry, it's the most poorly designed. Most of these are four way steps. But that third one, it'll get you right.

When you get comfortable with four way stops, it's gonna stop being Oh just like this one.

Same right. Yeah, now we've got the go ahead. We could smash right into it ship as if I didn't just do the exact same thing. Yeah it is. It's a turbine twist. Find out. Let's get on a main road that we all recognize. Sure, if you go left, this will take you down to Beverley. Nice. Yeah, that's one of those classics. That's what I mean. I love their center. Something secure, ma'am, I'm.

Going, Oh, she just couldn't wait.

It wasn't her turn. No, okay, I'll get you a turbute twist, thank you. Even though it's a political aimilar.

To a Berkie bundle.

That scarf that just kind of really breezely wraps around your head.

That sounds lovely. I'd wear it.

I mean, I really feel like no cultures were being appropriated with the towel twisted up.

It's just more difficult, yeah, right, because usually if you're using a full sized towel, there's too much towel.

Yeah, it's heavy. Are you ever trying to as a kid like? Who? How does everyone make this sook effortless? It's just one more thing women are forced to do, and it explains their strong necks.

Do you feel like in drying your hair in that way it has pulled the hair, made it straight or made it's that why all of a sudden there's a part I just can't get past this part in the middle.

The part comes from I think that I decided to headbang a little bit to air dry it some oh the twist, like do a towel, then walk around, have it drip all over me, be frustrated, head bang it out of there a little bit. Yeah, a nice air dry and then once that's settled.

The hair just goes. This is how it was always meant to lay on your head.

It just middle parts, and I went, all right, it seems like you've got your own thing going on, so I just let it.

Do you think that you had a klick before, or some direction your hair wanted to go and you were brushing against it?

Probably? Yeah?

Yeah, man, over time I have hair that just grows out like a chiapad. But over time I created a part on the side just by commanding it with a comb, not.

Verbally, that would be stay.

Yeah, that would also help though, can hull it out? You know your your cells are all connected in your body. You start yelling at them, guys, let's get a part going.

That's how DNA changes yee.

This is when earlier when I said he talks about cells yelling at he that's right. I was trying to explain I was. I tried to compare to the Far Side cartoons. How would you explain your comedy, David? Oh yeah, Far Side cartoons big, big influence.

I think I would describe it as boring.

I wouldn't and I don't think you sought out.

It's not like you're a big fan of Fire Side cartoons and then you're like, let me do this. It's later on you're like, yeah, I guess I understand why everyone's comparing me to these cartoons.

Oh yeah, right, yeah, that's it.

Which came first? You were the Far Side cartoon.

You were Gary Larson. Do you remember that.

I just realized the less time I saw you, I believe was also the last one, one of the last times I did stand up at that show.

That you had remember and the girl did we talk about this on this show already? Oh? We didn't. This was personal kind of backed me up in that move.

Yeah, you were, you were completely right, but it was I will always back up confrontational meanness when it's appropriate, because this girl did a set that made no sense, derailed the show was basically a one woman show, yeah, and was very about her dead boyfriend.

Yeah.

It was super weird and uncomfortable, and then she just left the stage and David got on stage and was like, yeah, that was nothing like the tape you sent me, and then just kind and then when people were like oh and getting defensive, he was like, no, sorry, that was just really awful.

And like I didn't sign up for that.

It was fucking hilarious, And like, is she basically treated your show? It was almost like it was she made it an open mic when it didn't need to be like that because everybody else on the show was awesome.

Yeah.

The thing I kept saying to her is like, if you had prepared me and said, hey, I just suffered a loss, I'm gonna do this really dark thing that did have a kind of interesting through line.

I would have been okay. With it.

The tape was not you know, I don't like to watch tapes. I just have my friends do the show, right. So she was one of the few people that SENTO Tate and said I do balloons, so get they all those balloons you got. So I was like, oh, her tape, that's like her mesmerizing children with balloons.

And I was like, I want that in the room.

And then she.

Shows up it's like, well, death is certainly a part of life.

Yeah, And it was just so depressing and everyone and I had she hadn't told me before her set. I'd seen her show up and been like, boy, she keeps those balloons in a pretty small pocket. She didn't have a bag or anything. I had just been like, I guess she just pulls them out of a pocket. So I did the whole intro like, yeah, you love balloons.

I love balloons. I'm excited about.

I completely forgot that element of it that we were all expecting a balloon comic.

I was so excited and I wanted everyone to be just as excited as I was. And then the only thing she did with the balloon is slowly let it deflate until it fell to the floor.

Yes, and then quietly walked out. That's what I was just gonna say.

I hope she.

Did it well, and then go hope no more.

It fucking happened, and it was awful.

And what I think the reason I was so on your side and so kind of irritated was it made me think and I could totally be wrong and judging this person incorrectly, but it reminded me of people who start doing stand up because they're actors and they just have no shame, so they'll get on stage and do whatever.

Then get out of here it is.

It is very hard to do somebody just died comedy. I'm trying. It's not funny, it's not it's you feel like that's your way to get through a thing.

Well, I'll make it easier through my art. But it's at the expense of everyone else.

Well.

Also, it's the old you know, tragedy plus time, and there was clearly a time element that was not there.

Yeah, it was the ten minutes she was on State.

But also I was like that room was so fucking hilarious because it was like carpetage.

It felt like, you're weird. It looks the exact same. I still do the show there, and they do you really.

Yeah, they kept saying that makes me want to do You're gonna shut it down and revent, like renovated and change it all up, and he would like have me do design stuff. Nicol has a great idea and it was gonna be kind of cool, loungey and kind of a hip, sort of jazzy feel, and then nothing changed at all, and so it's become like the aesthetic where like if it did change, I would kind of miss it. Yeah, Like, ah, I do kind of miss that wood paneling and all those trailers I grew up around.

You're like, hey, are the lights brighter in here? Yeah? Yeah, I brightened up the lights like you asked me to.

And what's what's the name of that place? The Copper, the Copper Still, the Copper Still.

Yeah. Very like a fun showroom. The space itself is very fun.

When something like that happens there, then it feels all the walls resonated and go this this is how this room should feel. Yes, because then when you have a nice time and a fun time, you're like, oh, in spite of this weird esthetic, really fun show it is a perfect showroom.

That's just a big room. Yeah. Well, but it feels a little bit like a funeral home.

So if somebody does a story about their dead boyfriend, it's all of a sudden gets real real.

And the worst.

Thing about it is that people were laughing as I was like kind of tearing into her, and I was mostly mad that she didn't prepare me. I was right, and you tricked me right, got me all excited about balloons, and you've been here all night.

You were of the first performers. You could have pulled me aside.

And said, hey, I'm not doing the balloons. Yeah, but so I was kind of making light of that, and then everyone was laughing. And yet still I've felt this weird tension afterward where people are like, you shouldn't have done that, right, And I was like, but everyone laughed and we It definitely brought the room back to like a fun place from where she had been.

I mean, if I had to Devil's Advocate David, I would just say her boyfriend had just said so to turn even.

Against myself this on top of her game. Yeah, she was making bad decisions for a reason, right.

I hear your criticism, and when you're promised balloons and you don't get them.

I feel like I was a little kid in the back of the room not even hearing what she was saying.

It wasn't til the next day I was like, I think she mentioned someone dying because all those happen I was watching. He's like, this seems sad. Where the fuck are the balloon? Yeah? Over and over. Yeah.

A couple of days after my mom died, I kept on all the shows that I was booked on, and this guy I was about to go up and I was in my head in a strange new way angry. I think I was very angry after my mom died and this guy was just talking at full volume, clearly trying to disrupt the show, and I was so mad at him, and I asked him to please be quiet.

I went up to him.

I'm like, please, you know how loud you're talking. He's like, I'm sorry, like he was and made me so mad. They pretended he didn't understand what I was saying. And then he shook. He wanted to shake my hand. He's like, thank you. He kept wanting to shake my hand. I'm like, I want to shake your hand. He's like, I don't here very well. And then I realized he had caring aids.

We'll turn him up. I know that I'd already gotten mad. I wasn't going to give him marrate advice.

Oh god, it's the worst ever worst wear headphones with music like on an airplane.

This happens all the time.

And then you practice speaking where you can't hear the volume of your voice, yes.

Where you go. I just think I think I'm doing this.

But in real life it sounds pretty great and the person's like, yeah, okay, I hear you. Whereas if you think what if you speak how you think it sounds normally they go whoa, whoa.

So I'm shouting at me.

Yeah, oh I should know this. This is that guy felt like that all the time, but he's in headphones all the time, so you think he bring it down.

I'm like, yeah, that's why I wanted to ask. It's like, did you just become hearing impaired?

Yeah? Are you because this? Yeah? He I don't know.

Yeah, I do feel bad on that. I went back. He worked at the gas station. I could tell by his name tag and it was across the street and I went back and said sorry.

Weeks later and he said I can't hear it.

He said I can't hear you, and I don't remember you and what And then me reminding him, He's like, oh, yeah, you did get mad.

I shouldn't have even gone yet.

He just points over his shoulder and a picture of your face. Not allowed to do business here, you have no checks.

You're up on my wall of expired licensees.

It is kind of sweet, the handshake. It sucks.

It was a situation and the guy kicked me out. Really yeah, I was escorted out of the gas station because it almost turned into the guy had got in my face.

Wait at the comedy show or at the gas.

At the comedy show, yeah, later at the gas station.

It was it was peaceful.

I was kicked out before I was able to do my comedy and it was probably for the best.

Oh, yeah, you should have stayed home that night. Yeah, I probably should have. Yeah.

I was trying to get back to normal, you know, like after nine to eleven totally.

You didn't want to forget. I remember, I never forget.

Yeah, I was trying to long story short, I was grieving my mother and then I was kicked out of a place to get into a fight with a deaf guy.

Standard grief stuff, you know, stuff my mom would want me to do.

Oh that Wow, he's going for it. Just a man throwing caution to the traffic.

Just literally running. Everyone's gone insane. Oh and he has had phones on too. Yeah, now he stops running. Now it's on the safety of the sidewalk. He can relax. Now she's dangered everyone's lives.

David, are you in the midst of a tour?

I am, Yeah, I am.

I think this comes out Monday, which will meet which will mean I have just been in Watertown South Dakota and Denver and taking sales looking real light in Denver. So I'm glad I'm recording this prior to getting back in quitningcom.

Oh yeah, Denver, come on, come and support.

Wait what business I'm doing the Bug Theater, which, yeah, this has already happened. But then this following weekend my show we were just talking about happens here in LA and then I go all over the place in the like the West and like being San Francisco and Sacramento, in Portland, Bend, Oregon, Boise, Idaho, and then Minneapolis.

Is the end of it?

You're doing the last tour I did.

I've done this loop a lot. I feel like I'm just welcoming these cities. And then people are like, why don't you come to the East coast. It would just be you and me in the room for you. If you can get four friends, I will be there.

And then you're people go and just go to David Huntsberger.

Oh yeah, ticket links there.

Yeah, ticket is something we usually do at the end of the podcast.

I like to throw plugs in the middle. Thanks at the end. We don't know how to end. Wait now, David, do you drive when you do a tour like the one you just named. No, I mean in the past. I have this one.

I'm only driving up to San Francisco and Sacramento.

Oh good, that'll be easier. Yeah, much better.

This is more like just kind of going on the weekends and then flying home.

Sweet.

Yeah, that's the joint that I know. That's I'd like to just do that and even for just like like this, like four to six weeks.

At a time, and then just kind of hang out, like not be going all the time. They go to the movies during the day and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I re in it. It's the best you feel like you're getting away with something you are.

When when my mom died, I sold you her car, did you ever drive it around and feel like it was haunted?

Well, I've been driving it prior to right. Oh okay, yes, of course, so it. I know. I always felt like the spirit of like when your mom could still.

Drive was yes, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Well I forgot when I sold it to you. Okay, yeah, well then it wouldn't make sense.

It would be kind of cool, though, if if you drove it around for a while and then suddenly there was like cold spots.

Yeah, and like into that real shit's happening all of a sudden, and.

You had a bumper sticker that says Chris fermangs.

His mom is my co pilot.

But I kept calling you trying to get my money back.

Dude, it's been like two years.

Listen, it's the seats cold unexpectedly, so I feel.

Prep by my neck haunted car.

She's always rattling chains in the passenger seat.

It's because you there's snow. You have to listen to her. She's warning you it's two wheel drive.

You're going through a lot of mountain areas. What did you study when you went to school in Reno?

Right? I went to high school there and then I went to college in Colorado.

Oh yeah, yeah for Collins. I mean yeah, see, I you know, I just.

Forget Harles Reno growing up to grow up in It's probably just how you think it would be.

I know you will defend Reno. I love it. I mean it's it's a high desert. It's a college town.

And when I was a kid, it was real dark downtown and I remember my mom being like, you look over there, they are those women are prostitutes And just like you just.

Your mom is the ultimate tour guide. And if you went to your right, my.

Mom knows well all the Hulers.

She had a real map in her mind getting into some good hoods.

And then we'd love pronounced it yeah, old fashioned. Yeah.

She she was raising in the rough streets and she would uh. But they put in this like ice skating rink. And now there's a part of town below the downtown they've just adopted from cool cities they call Midtown, which those of us grew up there, Like, I come on Midtown, South Virginia, but like I like that that it does have something now ooh, wood fired pizza next to a little microbrewery, reno looking like.

A real city.

I was a kid, it was like any place you went in specifically, like you know, seven elevens things that now you just can't really wrap your mind around the atmosphere. You'd walk into any store and it would just be because you know, slot machines everywhere. Yeah, always a very elderly person with a long cigarette just slouched over, never leaving, Yeah, just wasting their life there.

And that for a kid to see that all the time, it's weird to get anywhere else and be like, where's the old lady on the stool? This is seven eleven? Right? Why isn't anyone smoking in this bank?

Probably quiet in here is a quiznos, no bells.

You're not excited to see me.

I expect a sandwich, and I'd love it to taste like cigarettes.

Uh did you? Were you ever lucky in gambling? Yeah?

So my physics teacher in high school, this is the best Jim Izolo. God bless you if you're out there, buddy. I love him.

Is the reason he loves signs so much.

It is yeah, yeah, all of my Like my calculus teacher had like a very dangerous mind sort of impression on me.

I was just did he sit backwards in a chair a lot?

He slid it across the room, Yes, spun it and then double arm lapped, like put his chin on his arms.

What's going on, buddy? And then he turned his baseball cap around backwards.

He said, real talk before it was cool, just I'm just gonna rap with you here for a bit. And I was like, oh man, I'll wrap with you. And he was like, you've just been kind of like playing on your calculator.

Remember the t I eighty threes or boug.

And snake boy. I could get that snake big.

And it's an anxiety inducing game.

You get right into those corners, you're gonna make it turn and you.

Get the pellet and off you go, and don'ts on the calculator.

Oh yeah, like nibblers. Ever played the arcade game, nibbler? I know? Okay, So what it is like four bit graphics.

You just go straight along and there'll be like a little dot out and then so you go and you eat the dot, which makes the tail end of your line grow by two.

Pixels, let's say.

Okay, and then so now the space is taken up more by your long ass tail. So you go down and you see another pic a little pellet appear in the top left. So then you like make a turn, but you don't go right for it. You really try to let that tail catch up with you. Then you go straight for We'll make a right turn. Now your head toward that pellet. Your tail's not even near you, but as the tail keeps getting longer, you run into it.

Oh, your own tail, your own tail, the old palan drol Yeah, the old snake head eating ahead on the opposite side.

So then I would have this great snake eating ahead on the opposite On.

The opposite side, it was that old classic chest you know, the saying I'm not going to pretend I came up with.

It was very apropos to this story, because yes, I was doing that that my calculus teacher would.

He came over one day and was like, oh, wipe your first few quizzes off the board, if you just try, give me two weeks of trying, and then I didn't. I did. I did great.

I really ended up liking calculus because he just was like everyone had told me going into it, Oh you're.

Doing calculus, man, good luck. So all the adults just talk me out of trying.

I was like, all these people that I look up to are like, I have no idea how we were just talking about that before you got.

Really Yeah, yeah, guys, I'm telling you cells. Cells, but one has a pair of glasses on. They were kind of cat shape, so you know that's the girl. One.

These cells are watching a little cell TV in their cell living room.

No one's got a cellular be I've heard you cells. Yeah.

The fact that you were in calculus, I remember getting myself out of pre calculus, and I so good for you.

Thanks by getting yourself out. Do you mean failing?

I did it in the most classic wherever based on grades and guess me to leave.

What a summer the standard metrics by which failure and success are determined. I was on the failing side that I'm a punk rocker. So Jim Iizola was great because he had been kicked out of everywhere. He came to us from Alaska and his previous school district. I think it's from like Long Island originally just kind of one of these guys.

But Jean's T shirt just kind of a way you should be.

A physics teacher, all right, over your books up, alright, this is let's talk about vision.

You heard the nuclear stuff right, all right? So he just started launching into it. He's my favorite person of all. He's the best dude, and he goes.

He was the first person that was ever like as a teacher, very open with us about like, if you don't want to be here, don't come.

I barely take role. I don't care if you're not. He got some of his classic real.

It was real, that is real. It was great, And there would be days where like after lunch. I'd be like, you know what, I just don't feel like it. And I'd come in the next day and he'd be like where were you, and I go, I just wanted.

To kind of walk around like all right, well here we get missed, and then like I'd catch us up and he go, if you guys, really, you know, work hard for like three weeks in a row, the last friday of this month, I'll teach you guys how to cut cards or account cards.

Yes, yes, this guy fucking rule the most amazing incentive kids could ever get.

And then even tell us stories.

He was like, I try to go to Lake Tahoe to gambler at Harvey's. But you know, casinos don't just kick you out of one. They get the word around there your.

Face goes up.

And this is pre like facial recognition software. They had to put a picture of you, like the deaf guy in the gas station, so that if you walked into a casino, they'd come down, just tap you on the shoulder and be like, hey, the person that works up in like the bank of screens saw your face, recognize you, and you gotta go.

Yeah, just a silhouetted guy smoking a cigar patting.

Yeah, and every casino when he'd only been there a few months and he'd already gotten kicked out of all the casino And that.

Must mean he made a ton of money. I think so.

Yeah, but he's still I think he might have also had an additional gambling problem because he's still teaching at a public school and he he just I think after that year, is maybe there one or two more he went elsewhere. He was just always like moving around, and I want to feel like the Alaska thing was him getting away from it. Can't gamble it here, yeah, and then missed it. Comes to Reno, so he teaches us how to count cards. Every single one of us passes

Oh wow, it's let's like stand and deliver it totally. Was.

It absolutely impacted me and I remember it and I would go to the casinos, like nineteen twenty years old, and I would just sit down and nurse a bud light for hours and just count cards and always walk out with like eh.

One hundred. Well the most I ever made was three hundred. Well, pretty great know that you were.

I didn't know you were into gambling at all.

You're not like a person that enjoys Vegas, right, No, No, I didn't think so.

Yeah, going up around Reno, there's such a stigma. You see. So many people just become that old lady on the stool. Yeah, they're like, I don't think this. It's like when Bart and the guys go in and the Simpsons and they have the fake ID. They go into Mow's.

They're like round of beers and then they look over and all the old bar regulars are apart.

I'm just so disgusted, like, yeah, let's go outside.

Yeah, that's kind of Reno's gambling scene in a nutshell.

I feel like that makes sense.

It's like when I lived in San Francisco, it's we would never go to Fisherman's Wharf, just like everything's really expense, there's no point. Yeah, it's not actually fun and you just lose money.

Yeah, And my sister wanted to go.

She was visiting, and we had a great time, but she wanted to go to Hollywood Boulevard And I'm like I gave her all the warnings.

It's been a smell like pee. It's a tourist attraction.

The store we are going to to get memorabilia is just that it's a it's going to be hard to park, and it all came true.

Yeah, and you will definitely see a legless homeless man polishing the stars on Hollywood Boulevard, which to me is like all of Hollywood in a nutshell.

Yeah, just very disturbing.

And yet it's just someone going, look, if we're all here, I'm going to make some money too, you know.

And I'm closer to the ground than you guys.

I'm willing to do it. Wow. Tough. It is hard.

It is hard to go to the place that a town is known for because anyone that lives there is not going to go to that place.

No, it's just I used to live right above Hollywood Boulevard and when I would I would walk down.

This was after I had seizure, so I couldn't drive for three years, so I'd have to walk to.

Get like yeah, just three wow.

Yeah, they suspend your license until you can prove that your medicine controls seizure.

But yeah, you should punish people with the secondess that sounds about right.

Three years is the longest time.

But so I'd have to walk down to get like the basics and the ship I saw in Hollywood Boulevard. It was just like the most nuts every day, the crazy. I got pickpocketed one day and I didn't know until I got home.

Was this in the twenties.

Really, It wasn't the classic where they're like, oh, pardon me, ma'am and they bumped you.

She didn't bump me.

She walked up and went, oh, hi there and like kind of got in my face over friendly. So I was just like kind of befuddled, and she was a little bit older.

And kind of like this. You know.

It was a weird moment where I was turning on what she was doing was I think she was on my left side and the money was in my right pocket. It was probably sticking out a little bit, so she was just doing this over here while she took it out of my boocket.

There was a bad eh, you know, good nicks. I have seizures. There's so much that I put myself through.

We're in Vegas for some festival that I was with Kyle Kanane and they have escalators outside that go over this I think the main drag there, and this woman came up and she was I think a lady of the night, and she jumped over she was going down and jumped over and gone on our side and walked up to me and started hugging me. And I was like, I don't know why. I wanted to be polite, but I was scared of her. I'm like, oh, that's okay, thank you very much.

And then we.

Walked a block and I realized my wallet was gone, so I ran up there and saw her at the end of the walkway looking through my wallet. Who I was like, you, come on, you can't take my wallet. She's like, you drop this, here you go, and she ran over and gave it to me. Thank you for giving me my wallet, and she hugged me, and then she.

Was kind of sad.

A lot of my stories, don't you hugged you?

And then your social Security card was gone, and then she grabbed my other wallet.

My traveler's wallet.

Call me two wallet fairbanks for nothing, although there's no reason to be carrying them.

And I did they called you two wallet fairbanks? Yeah, yeah, two fairbanks. Wallet?

Actually up walkway thing in Vegas is a good advertisement for Reno because everyone you talk to they goes, oh Reno, Oh I've heard bad things. Oh we stayed a night as we were passing through. You gotta feel it out. You got to go be around it a little bit, or have something to do beyond just staying one of the horrible casinos.

Yeah.

Is there like a really good local person's restaurant that other people wouldn't know about or something like that?

I mean the rap Scallion there is pretty good. That's a good name. Yeah, that was.

That was one of like I got good grades. I'd get to go to the rap Scallions.

And what is it?

I picture immediately some kind of rap Scaler style Germanic heavy skillets.

Type of stuff. Could you get things in?

Scale has had a lot of seafood in a landlocked state, but it's very close to San Francisco and stuff, right, I remember it being pretty good, uh garlicky, kind of like smoky, Yeah, a lot of suff you're talking about like a skillet kind of feel, but also kind.

Of a steamy seafoody vibe in there too. Nice, Oh, steamy seafood, steamy seafood.

Ye what was your fancy meal as a child, if it was like you got good grades, so you get to get whatever you want.

Oh man, I'd go to the Really I wanted to go to this Mexican restaurant called La Pinnata.

Oh and that went away. Unfortunately. It was the best.

It was phenomenal. I just wanted to go get like a rino and a couple of chicken tacos there. It was insanely good. And my dad kind of knew one of the cooks, so he'd come out and just the smiliest, little five foot one ish guy, and we just didn't speak the greatest English, but my dad always felt like we were good pals. So we'd be like, hey, man,

Did you go all right?

Maybe all smiley, and then we'd kind of run out of stuff to say, nothing else to catch.

Up on, but you were giving your respects. Yeah, the shot and I.

Felt kind of cool. Maybe that was the first time of like feeling. I think when people come to a comedy show they're like, I know one of the comics. I think it was that sort of same thing, that vibe. Yeah, I know the guy that rolled up this taco, you guys.

He's a real artist.

Did they have pinata there?

Yeah?

Yeah, they didn't sell him though, as far as I know, they just adorned the place. Yes, they're a decoration, but really wonderful looking pinnatas.

I don't know why it went out of business. It was so great. But oh.

The reason Reno is great compared to Vegas is like it winds you around like an amusement park, and you can't just see a casino, like, let's walk over there. You got to take the escalator, the walkway, you gotta walk two blocks up and cross and come back.

Reno.

You can have open containers and just walk right across the street. It's just wonderful.

That's the best there was. Yeah, there was.

I lived in Trucky for a winner, which is just where people go to run away from their problems or or snowboard.

Yeah.

I think there was a prison thereby.

Those people would go there too when they got off and.

Like it was a long shift. Yeah, yeah, at the prison.

Finally that's ten years and I'm punching out and well, yeah, one night we went to some dance club and I'd never been to a dance club. It was already in my mid twenties and I'd never been to like a dancing.

Club, so much so that I called them.

Dancing But it was imber.

I had the best time ever just at the club or in Trucky, in that club in Reno.

That was about Yeah, what was it called? Do you remember? Oh, I don't know.

I do not know.

The Reno dance Materia.

It was Reno Cafeteria. It was not even a dance club. People were eating and I was being disruptive.

When you were talking about living above Hollywood Boulevard.

I the other day saw someone on Hollywood Boulevard lugging two suitcases. They could have been an airbnber, But in my mind there are always someone from Iowa that's like.

I'm doing it.

Yeah, and did you move to Hollywood Boulevard? Like I got to get in the mix.

I'm here. It was their carry on and their personal item.

They were too giant suitcases. Yeah, checked luggage, Like I'm moving here Oh.

Yeah, that's hard. It's a heartbreaker.

It is when it's like, that's the luggage you moved here and you still haven't had a place to unpack.

Yeah.

Yeah, something went terribly wrong, like, oh, I sent them the money to get my apartment and then showed up and there was no there There there was something.

Yeah, Or you just picked up the old crack pipe right away.

You started smoking crack on the bus on the way out to Los Angeles, so you arrived on crack.

Yes, in hindsight, my big mistake tedd crack too early. I can't come with a clear head. I moved in and then get into my crack like I love. Yeah, I think i'd be doing finding right. It's the only drug where you do it once and it kind of dictates the rest of your life.

Yeah, it dictates where you walk on Hollywood Boulevard and how.

That's why I stay away from the stuff that's good.

Yeah, that's the only reason I don't.

Want to be one of the suitcase hobos on Hollywood Boulevard.

Yeah, otherwise I'd be smooping crack all day just for the effect it would have on my teeth and wrinkles. Social life Yeah, there's good ways to meet people. I know right away you and I have something in common. It's abandoned hotel rooms. Pass that over. I don't know if you noticed. First of I was going to say the crack community is very tight knit. Yeah, you meet a couple of crack friends, they are, but they're sharing pictures of their kids.

It's only my leg in a community. I mean, it's not. They're lifelong friends.

The world of crack is just like high school.

But he always said.

That, Yeah, it's a minimum twenty year engagement.

Oh yes, he's feeling it. He's feeling it. He's feeling it.

He is a Jesus Saves cross and he's doing the same dance move over he was just it looked like a boomerang of someone dancing.

Yeah, it's just back and forth or the Peanuts gang.

Sure, he's the same guy that he's. Oh yep, there's this van. I should have point it out quicker. Oh, so many bumper stickers. And then he'll drive along and just hold a little wooden cross out the driver's side window and go nine miles an hour.

So that everyone's blessing the city something.

But also infuriating everyone, like this is an interesting religion.

I wish this guy pick it up a little. You know what, fuck this guy server fucking man, his God.

It's probably yeah, it's having the opposite effect of what is he the one that.

Shoots it off through speakers scripture?

He I don't think he's a speaker guy.

There is a speaker guy that comes down and just amplified blasts it and doesn't have the greatest English, and the and the amplification really muffles it, so it just.

Sounds like screaming. I'm like, yeah, yeah.

Just and it might be gibberish. I don't think anyone's ever discerned one word from it. I go, I figure, I heard of Jesus in there. There's not a single word that's out.

Yeah, it's one.

There was a guy in Missoula that would yell.

He was called Red. He was the street preacher.

He was famously I think he'd lost his wife or something, and from then on stood on the corner and yelled about but no one understood what he was saying. He'd just go, burn, burn, and then you stop and go how are you today?

Red?

And he's like, I'm good, things are good. It's a beautiful day. You kids out, skateboard, cap flip now, and then you go back burn harmedy burn.

It's like you're conversationally. You're pretty easy to talk to.

Yeah, he gets it all out in the yelling.

Yeah, yeah, it's amazing. He should he should have tried just speaking on the corner. I think he would have gotten through to more people.

I feel like though, that.

It's just a very especially in this day and age, it's a it's a tough way to access religion by having someone yell it at you on the sidewalk.

Yeah, it only works me a couple times. I mean, does do you think it works?

Do you think there are people going by that are finally like, you know what, Hold on a second.

I like what you're I like the kind of your jib.

I think they're just banking on finding that one person that is at the end of the road. They're at the end of the line or whatever, and they need something. Yeah, like today's the day I feel very empty. Yeah, and then they're like, that guy's out there somewhere.

I'd just love to stop in and just try it. Just what is this? You just haven't give me the host being of whoa what? Oh cool?

Whoa, and then walk away with a pamphlet like I will see you this weekend.

That would make them feel good at least. Yeah, I feel like they're disrupting my day and therefore I don't care for them. Yeah, yeah, why do they have to feel good? They started it right, they started it. Have you guys been visited by Jehovah's witnesses in a while? Not for a while? No, Oh man. They have a new technique they use, which is, and this has happened.

Is a peaking through the window and saying that I'm hiding on the floor.

That's probably gonna work.

Our two are a woman who's extraordinarily smiley and has like a cherubic face.

She looks so like pleasant.

The woman behind her has been three different women, but it's always she's elderly, poor posture, and she never squares up on you, so she's just kind of sideways looking over her shoulder, always incomprehensible teeth.

Those are human teeth.

They've repeatedly come to your door, yes, with this move, and it's always the cherabic woman with a different version of old over the.

Shoulder lady with unfathomable teeth.

Waiteth, yes, all three of them have is just luck or bad luck.

But she's picking up.

She knows the psychology of like someone's going to open the door and be like, what's this all about.

She waits outside the dentist's office. She prays upon the people with the worst teeth, here's me answer that.

Never says a peep.

She just smiles, and the Chermak lady would look over her shoulder and they're like, right, and she'll just kind of smile.

Show him up right, Cheryl. It give it to him, Cheryl, Cheryl.

So they came and then Emily Rose was like, oh not today, I'm in a hurry. They took that as your girlfriend was really interested, and I go, I assure you she's not.

She's just too polite.

So until they see her yell at their face or say no, they're gonna just always come back. And it's always me and so I have to, I think, pretend that she has been killed, and then they'll finally leave because they're not believing me. And one time I was kind of rough with them. I was like, this is what starts all the wars. You think your religion has to be put on everywhere else. Yeah, I really like that.

By the way, trying to t boneous what they do when you yelled at him, just keeps her smiling face.

Oh oh, so you think that maybe one of the religions is inaccurate and therefore you No, I think they all benefit people. But you don't have to share it. That person over there thinks they got it. You think you got it. Eventually, you're going to try to get new candidates and it's gonna be a turmoil between you and she's okay, So well, that's an interesting thing.

Is Jesus actually preaches And I'm like, I don't care. I don't want to doing this to me.

I'm amazed that you engage with them. You should try and do them what I do. Like I said, just hide.

I don't.

When in my old house there would be people.

It wouldn't always be Jovah's witnesses, but sometimes the would just be people from a church, and I just I would open the door with the look on my face like oh no, like, oh no, don't do it to me. You know, I don't want to know this from you, Like look at the look on my face, Look at I'm telling you look at my world weary expression.

I've seen it all.

Look at my satanic tATu tATu.

It's from the fine gentlemen. I say, tatoo, do you have a tattoo? I didn't think so.

I think I was gonna say face tattoo ahead, the face tattoo of a toetoo him.

I'm just worried that they will influence me. I think that's part of my I'm not as strong willed. I bought carpet cleaner once when I had a place that was all wood floors. I just felt bad for the guy and I bought this concentrated squeezed bottle of carpet cleaner. And I could have just said, look, I don't have any carpets, and he was like, well it works on drapes too, I don't.

Have those either.

Just let me buy the thing. And that's when I knew. I'm like, I just can't answer the door.

I do not say no. It's what they expect.

Also, sometimes there was a guy that I answered the door once and he was trying to sell some I'm super involved. I'm sure it was like subscriptions to things or whatever, and I was just like, nah too.

The magazines.

Yeah, it gets they get you because it's like a three year subscription for ninety dollars or whatever, where I'm like, what have I just done? So But this one guy was giving me the pitch and it was like to benefit the inner city whatever, right, And I was like, sorry, I don't. I mean, I was broke at the time. I was like, I don't have any money. And then he was like, well, it's better I'm knocking at your front door than coming over your back fence.

And I go, I go, yeah, that's I go. That's not the way to do it. That's not the way to do it.

I sold yes because I was like, first of all, good luck coming over my back fence.

It's quite high, but it Secondly.

Don't fuck you threaten me, like you know, now I get to shut the door. You said exactly the wrong thing.

The time I agreed to three or four magazines, he just said, listen, all you have to do is call these magazines and cancel. But I'll still on paper. It shows that I've done the sale. I get what I want. And I did do that and it worked out.

It didn't work, and he didn't.

It wasn't a trick no, I thought the thing you're both describing I had and I was staying with a friend. I had the same situation as you, Karen, no money, and yet the guy was just so compelling.

It's so sweet.

He's really laying it on. And I was like, man, I at least have a little more going on than this guy. So I turned around to like, go get my check book, and my friend who I was saying was showed up in this what are you doing?

I don't getting my check book? And he just looks like and goes he has no money. Shut yeah. Sometimes there.

I think I've told this story before, but I was working in an office building one time, and all of a sudden there was a guy in my office selling me a coupon pack for different spas around Los Angeles, and he was like, to do.

It was the weirdest thing he was like.

It was like, all of a sudden, he was squatting next to my desk and he's like, oh my god, so you know that thing, and like, you know what, I have the thing where if people talk to me as if they already know me, I will do it back just because I match energy.

Like it's a weird codependent that that's why they're doing it. Yes, exactly.

So he in truly, in like five minutes, convinced me to buy a coupon pack of like SPA sales things. This was like before group on or whatever. And I was like, uh okay, and then wrote him a check. He walked away, and then I turned and picked up the phone and called my bank and canceled the check. I was like, I don't know what just happened, but I just wrote someone a check, Like I just got bamboozled in the most literal way.

You know, in scientology that matching like emotional energy.

Is a big part.

I just interviewed a guy for my podcast that formerly was a scientologist, and he was saying, like, when you drive by the Celebrity Center and you see them like walking along with people with clipboards and it looks like they're taking a survey. Yeah, they don't care about what the answers are. They'll they'll like mark it down, Oh okay. But what they're doing is if you're like I don't give a shit, get out of my face. They're learning

A little lower. I'm like, oh, yeah, I get it.

You don't want to so they're trying to just keep pulling you up. And that's what that person did to you, get on your level and they know you, yeah, match your emotional energy to a point where they keep bringing you up.

We're by the end you're like, yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know how you get there.

You're like, oh, suddenly you're kind of like, oh, this is kind of my funny friend.

Yeah, who I want.

To make money and keep just it's the weirdest feeling to get to have that happen to you and then like one minute later, snap out of it and be like, I don't I don't want spot coupons.

I've never heard of any of these businesses.

I'm sure they're all weird foot massage places that I would never go to.

So crazy.

I do sometimes wonder what I always think of where my career or life would be if I had certain decisions were made, And I always wonder if I did become a scientific just if my comedy career would be better right now?

Would you be back of comedy? Probably?

Yeah, let's just go ahead, and no, I would just be in debt earlier.

Yeah, I mean you'd definitely be a smoker, because that's a big thing that really Yeah, they all smoke. Oh wow, And I think like smoking with celebrities is like the big is the big offer?

Really? Yeah, that's amazing. Now I'm kind of more into it, right, Yeah, cigarettes are cool. I know, does that Meg Ryan smoke?

Hey, one of them, one of my misty slims.

They find Weasley your way into like a gathering of relatively famous people and just go one by one up and like, hey, you want to go smoke?

Just worked out for you? I bet it would. I bet it would work for a lot of actors. Yeah, I think you'd have a relatively high success rate. And who are you? I am your friend? Sell you some spa coupon one other person that still smokes.

And the damage that the smoking does your vocal cards really sounds good? Yeah, that's strucually if you're doing any voiceover work, that's right.

Oh that guy's is he? What's he doing? Just keeps happening.

He's just waving, waving, doing impossible impossible.

You mean, drive unto the other side of the road. What are you doing this? Is I wish I could say his dead. Okay, no, it's not. He wants to go backward or something. Yeah, great job. Wait what's he doing? He's backing out into the street.

It's so confusing.

He's on pills.

He gave us, was like, what I'm trying to do is reverse backwards up the street, go around me.

Like, sorry, what's this?

What's happening that I felt like we were going to get in a fight. I got nervous. I got that backsweat.

Also, he's going to pretend to be deaf.

He was getting out of the car. He was immediately screaming yeah, yeah, he was very upset.

That's you know, it's a competitive bit.

He could have parked here.

Now we get to him.

But I mean, going backwards around the corner is not reasonable.

It was nine seconds after we just commented on how bad the driving has been.

Yeah, it's fucking terrible.

I wish an example would pop up.

Oh here we go, Oh my god, bad, But debatedly like just oh.

He's going in reverse and he's going to try to kill us. Also, at the same time, he did make me nervous. He's livid kind of thing. Used to. Uh, I used to.

I used to be comforted by thinking I could handle myself. But I was very scared.

But skinny guy, Yeah, I don't know why.

Hand You never know who knows karate care.

He was wild eyed. You'd have to admit you can.

You can look at someone's eyes in pretty soon. It just doesn't when they have that look in their eye like they have nothing to lose. Yeah, I don't care how big.

Their arms are not too old yet either, And I can't wait for that day when someone gives me that look or even approaches me and I go.

Come on, I'm old.

Yeah, yeah, you already have the voice for perfect.

You're really not that old. My physical days are behind me. Oh wait, he's walking up the street, is he? Yes? Oh boy, wait, no, hold on a second, we might still get it. Is this him on a skateboard with a bag? I don't know. Let's take a look. Oh yeah, it's a very similar look. If it's not it it is, I think it is him. Well, let's see.

How is he gonna He's gonna hit your side view mirror with that bag?

There he is? Oh you just take he was coming from the gym. I'll look at him. Oh, now I'm upset that we didn't fight him in.

The Should I go try to hit him with the car? Let's rekindle what we had one Wait?

Okay, sorry, So, just so everyone at home understands, we pull up to a stop sign. Die immediately starts yelling out his window for us to go around him.

He's diagonal and midway through a right turn.

Yes, and he's basically asking us to make a blind right turn into traffic into the other lane. And when we pause to not do that, he starts to get out of his car to come at us about it, and we're all laughing obviously at him, which probably didn't help.

Yeah. Then we pass him.

He backs up the street and back around the corner, and only so that he could get out, get on a skateboard and skateboard down the street where there's a gym equipment.

He was all hopped up from lift and yeah, we're going getting all reved up. I'm realizing now that the face I was making to him as we passed him was very confident.

I think these windows are very tinted. Yes they are.

Now, I was like, one of you just saw me, and I cowardly was looking on the dash like there was something in it.

Did you really? Yeah, that's awesome. You took a picture of his angry face. Oh that's great. We'll just throw up a black bar. We're good. Oh that's so terrific. That's actually awesome. Yeah. I actually just had to pull over because I couldn't take the attention of driving in the state room anymore. It's okay, it's completely reasonable. There's a lot.

I don't know if you noticed one of the houses near us, in the neighborhood right near us, the neighbors moved out. They were the sweetest older Korean couple. We knew them like as well as you can know neighbors that you kind of go, hey, okay, see you never like invited us over, and we didn't invite them over for dinner, but it was a lot of like driveway chats.

So that's what we live near. That's crazy. Yeah, Is that what squatting is?

Because I also there was It's also called that when the last place I was supposed to move into after living in the same place for seven years, these guys were supposed to move out and then they didn't.

They just stayed there, and that was called squatting.

They were lands of more traditional squatting.

I think when someone just goes into an abandoned apartment, they are.

These people are like aggressively looking for places to do drugs they hold up, and so they'll look for places that have been moved out of they're owned by the bank, because they know the bank's not going to come by and look at it, right, and then they just find a way to break in. And the guy that was telling me all this was so perplexed, like, I don't know how they're getting in I've looked at all the interests they but they cut like locks with bolt cutters.

They were professional squatters. They get They moved those in kind of without being seen. Right, Yeah, it's not easy. There's one that I got home and I saw like kind.

Of a shift and I peeked through the gate. The person had an over the shoulder like business kind of bag.

So my head, I was like that all checks out.

It's it's a banker, it's a baker at nine pm. Well what are you gonna do? House?

But they were so sophisticated moving in with their air mattresses, like, oh, we can do crack over here.

We can set the air mattress there with some coffee, and they had an aesthetic thing.

I like that they they were doing crack and coffee. That's such a powerful combination.

That family is so upset that we are parked here? Are they just they're still discussing. They're so upset.

Why it happens fairly frequently. We're the best. Yeah, we're nice.

That happened to us, David, right where the house we were at we kept getting notifications from Wells Fargo, and it turned out the people we were paying our rent to were not paying for the house.

It was by a bank. Nice, and so we hung out a little while longer, right.

Not too long. Yeah, I was that in Austin.

Yeah, before I moved to the beach.

Yeah, yeah, that was harvest.

So like you guys got kicked out because it was as if it wasn't being paid even though you were paying it.

Right right, Wow.

And I run into that guy a lot, David, the guy that he told me that he doesn't recognize.

You, no, and I didn't recognize him at Prayers. I was like, how do I know you?

And then after I asked him like, oh I stayed a few months extra, you probably don't like me at all.

And then I just walked.

Away screaming at me, and I called this is the phone call exchange, hey man, and getting notices from the bank. I know we're paying you the rent. Are you paid the mortgage? And then he just don't you tell me how to spend my money?

Going to do with you? Just screaming? So it's been on your mind. I'm probably not the first person that's asked you about this. I'd like to remind you I do not work at the bank. But again i'd love to tell you how to spend your money. Yeah, because you need to know. I still love to be That house was great, Yeah it was.

I missed that pink stove.

Yeah it's a pink stove with a with a submarine window on it.

Oh, it was one of those classes.

Or oven.

Well how does this? Normally we just fade into an uncomfortable silence and then we go we go silent verbally a wall.

I feel like I've I'm emotionally collapsed inside from the man backing up the street.

Thing that just and we had our chance with him, We had that second chance.

Yeah, I mean I could have he's hated so close to this car. I could have opened my door and just kind of close lined him with the door as.

He stabled by Thompson. Yeah exactly.

My mom broke her arm by accident and the door.

David, you have any final plugs? I mean you plugged, but do you want to replug?

I yeah? Yeah, Well, just great being back in the back seat here. Guys. Just love what you do. Great to have you. It went by so fast.

I really did just toodling around the neighborhood, nearly getting run into by so many of my neighbors.

Yeah, thank you for driving around under our tutelage.

Yes, just toutlaging around.

Let's see if these folks hate our parting.

No, they support us. They got other things on their mind.

I think maybe last time I was on, I was talking about this animated stand up specially I made years ago, and then it just sort of disappeared. And now it's become available again. So if you have Amazon Prime or Roku, you can stream it for free. Just two headed, one headed.

Two headed beasts? Is this upcoming sequel?

You didn't even know about it that I have named for you. I'll get working on it. One headed beat, one headed beast.

Yeah, that came out, and I've got those live shows and then probably some other thing I'm not oh, the junk show here in LA.

So you guys have both done it. You're welcome bag anytime. Nice.

I'll show up unannounced.

Yeah, that'd be great.

I'll show up with my balloon monologue. You'll see how balloon comedy is done.

Can I just throw this out there? Have just prepped me?

Okay, first of all, every one of my family's dead. Secondly, I don't do comedy ready again?

Yeah, I can handle that.

You've been listening to Do you need a ride?

With David Hunsberger? D y n he are? I leave it on? You wanna way back?

You do?

I want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. Give us time and a terminol ingay, we.

Want to send you off in style. Do you want to welcome you back home?

Tell us all about every.

Scared he was? It fine? Melcoorn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you ride?

Do you need with Karen and cressm