S2 - Ep. 10 - Karen and Chris

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us.

Time and a terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style. Do you wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about it?

We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride.

With Karen and Chris? What are your hobbies?

You know?

Candles? Welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Taren Kilgareth. We're a beautiful burbank. Oh so it's just picturesque.

I thought today and it was my idea to have no guests and just catch up with my friend Karen.

That's right, And I said I don't want to do it that way.

And then we fought and thought and Chris won. I'm good at dodging punches.

I kicked him in the jaw, but it didn't affect him at all.

It's funny because it's been a while since you and I had a physical fistfight.

I forgot how much kicking you try and do I do.

My kicking is very much Broadway dance based, So a lot of times I'll do kicking from the musical Oklahoma, which is outside to side.

Yeah, it's not helpful. It was.

It's also quite a giveaway when well, right before we fight, you put on leggings well.

And stretched for forty five minutes big warmers. Leg warmers came back right, not that I know of, but I'm not the person to ask them. They shouldn't. That's a brand new building. That's like brand new. Wow.

You know what is in a brand new building? The one I moved into. Oh, I went and bought. I bought new lamps and thought I could do it myself. And I took down the old lamps on the ceiling and on the walls, and which are from I think my buildings from around the thirties, eighteen thirties, the eighteen thirties. Well, that's when it was wired. Because I brought down there's

Now you're going to get over to fixing the toaster with that fork. Yes, your next plan. Don't do any of these electrical things yourself, no matter how I know you think your handy. It's a big part of your whole personality. It's one of your hobbies.

I'm a man, and I want to do man things, man stuff like Tim Allen.

But please don't risk your life this way.

I knew, I knew when to stop myself because there's one thing I'm scared of in that is voltage going through my body.

As as you should be, I think that's very natural.

I'm bout you know those little seventies plastic plugs you're putting outlets.

I went ahead and got myself some of those. You mean to plug up the plug it up, plug up the holes. Sure? Yeah, is that a puppy? It is a tiny puppy. Look at that tiny that's almost too tiny.

It looks like Ames Mountain puppy. It was a miniature puppy. My friend Ryan has a miniature Golden Retriever. If I told you that, what, no Golden Retriever puppy sized that will never get large.

Oh that's from science. I don't know if I agree with that.

No, they just it's a test tube kit.

You buy it for chemicals on the regular dog.

Well, no, you gotta get the real stuff from the real dog in that process.

No, I'm just kidding.

Husbandry. Animal husbandry at its finest. You put a little bonnet on them. You don't let them have any opinions. The first thing I thought of when you said a miniature Golden Retriever is a corgy.

Don't they already have those.

I don't know how they acquire he did it. Maybe it was a rescue. Maybe you have to wait longer. I don't know.

But they broke it out of the science jail that it was in right right, the laboratory laboratory door.

Oh no, you know when a pun's there and you just it just doesn't work out.

Yeah, maybe it's for the best. Your ears refuse to hear what it should be.

Right.

I knew what it was by the Labradoratory. Yeah, thank you Elabordoratory.

That's you know what that that pun is from the Scholastic book order.

That's like a puzzle in the Scholastic book.

Yeah, that's like a pun that be the winning final pun on the O Henry Punoff in Austin, Texas?

Would it win?

Though?

I really get it. I'm giving your pun of No, it's fine, it's final.

A lot of you know, I came to this city with a lot of puns in my in my hip sack, and and I was told right away that keep wordplay, should not keep them to myself. But there are groups out there that really appreciate puns.

Well there is.

That's a real thing, the O Henry pun Off. It's like, is that true? Yeah, it's a it was a thing in Austin. And I was like, I could do that because you have to come up with them on the spot, so it's like an.

Improv sing did you do it? I didn't do it. I was too scared And I.

Bet you could do it though I But now, unfortunately the desire has gone away.

You guys want to go to Starbucks right yours? You don't even have to? Hi, can I get a double Tall, one pump Mocha.

One Pump Mocha Classic vent Could I also get a Venti Vanilla Latte, hot iceed coffee and medium ice coffee.

And a Grande ice coffee please? Yes? Anything else that's gonna be it?

Okay, okay, all right, let's not fight, so you can do you mind handing me my wallet with all of our beautiful gift cards inside Starbucks order today, brought to us by now I may or may not.

Have been using these without you guys. Oh, I can't be.

Trusted, right, I'll definitely pull one of these out if if it comes up.

So, and that was a gift for our podcast.

Yes, I want to say I wrote it on the original and I did already say it once.

But I think her name was Amanda. It's something it starts with an A. I'm pretty sure it was Amanda, but also consults a few episodes ago. Listen.

We got this as a gift in Pittsburgh, perhaps Pittsburgh.

I looked at my notes and I can firm it was Amanda from Pittsburgh.

Oh okay, thank you?

Who that.

Cool?

Great and left sweet nice so much, Thank you yours, Thanks.

Nice, Thanks Amanda, we got everything, kids, kids, do you have to go to the bathroom? A la the kids? We left the kids in the drive through. Kids.

But I bought a snowboard pass that works at mountains throughout the United States. That's all I was going to say, is just a I can go a different mountains in Colorado. I can go to Whistler in Canada, I can go to Big Bear here, I can go to Mammoth here.

And it was the half the price of a pass somewhere. You just buy it early. Oh that's great. Next year.

I'm just going to be mister snowboard man if I don't enter my goddamn hip again.

Yeah, please be careful. But I was going to say, why didn't you go? And maybe it's just the weather wasn't wasn't there for you? But why wouldn't you go to Big Bear?

This time?

It is over Big Beerr is snow seventy degrees and the snow is ruined.

Oh yeah, it's been warm okay.

Yeah, And they didn't get the kind of snow that Mammoth and Tahoe.

God, those are just the big mountains.

They get the big snow, and it's a big ass drive to get there got it if I took a gamble, you don't ever know.

I'm not a weatherman or meteorologist.

No.

And also the drive to Mammoth is absolutely gorgeous.

It is.

I love that drive. I love those weird mountains that come up when you're going toward it. They're on the left hand side.

Yeah, Melt McKinley.

For God's sake, it's all like it looks so it looks like something from Jane Eyres.

It's so dramatic and beautiful.

It looks like a Ansel Adam's photo, except it's in color.

It doesn't.

And there's often like along the way you see these little farms that are nestled into the base of mountains that then go straight up behind them.

Yeah, And I'm like, I am going to move there.

There's also just shacks where people are squatting and clearly doing math or something.

Oh. I'm like, look at that abandoned building.

And I looked closely as we drown by this windowless, doorless fuselage of a building, and it was there was a light on, and there was a guy in there I'd like to think hugging himself trembling.

Now, can I suggest could it have been like say, a milking house on a dairy property.

It was too dilapidated and scary. But maybe he was milking in the.

Dark, but on cracks so too fast.

Hey, you can get a lot of utters squeezed when you're on the old white pony.

But they sure don't like it. They don't like it. It's too hard today. Yeah, what is wrong with you? Jerry? Jerry?

Uh, well, that's yeah. It was going to make sure your car doesn't break down on that road.

I guess no, No, that's the other thing. I don't own a brand new car. I have four wheel drive. There's so many things that what an expensive, flawed intest I've gotten myself into.

As a kid, I just didn't have new stuff.

I had a front wheel drive car with one snow tire that would break down. But now as an adult, I can't have anything go wrong. Yeah, and it's like, wow, this is expensive. Yes, it's like, how do you get into a wakeboarding with something that I sort of was into just because it's near that sport a little bit?

But you have to own a boat? Who owns?

Only assholes own boats. I'm not an asshole, No, you're not. You guys would tell me if I was right.

I mean, yeah, but maybe off Mike, right, No, you're not. And I think those interests oftentimes are very like family dependent. It's like I like wakeboarding because our family goes to blah blah blah and we have a boat and we go to this lake and we have a cabin, and there's almost a You're born into that.

Yeah culture, maybe hard.

To be a independent person in the world and then be like, guess what I'm going to get into downhill skiing?

Right right? It also asked to do with where you grew up.

I mean I at my school there a bus came and took you up to the mountain, the mountain that no longer gets snow because you know, the al Gore thing.

Oh yeah, but it is, you know, because of propaganda.

Yes, yes, made a propaganda that happened. You know, if you talk about something enough, it just comes true.

That's right.

These damn liberals loose lips, sink ships. And it also, you know, affects the environment.

It's true, It is true.

I wouldn't be surprised if somebody, well, it came true because you, you whining snowflakes got rid of the snowflakes.

But we just left. We were in Denver last weekend. Oh yeah, he left on again. It was hot when we were there, it was like balmy.

And then my dad goes, ooh, you got out of Denver just in time, and I was like, what are you talking about?

And there was a full on blizzard. You know that.

They say that is where they really do say you don't like the weather, just hang out for a little while. There would wait five minutes. That is a Denver. It really does happen in Denver. Me and my friends were there. It snowed a bunch in the nineties and then like a foot downtown and then by the end of the day it was dry and we went skateboarding and the sun was out. And they say that everywhere though they do. Everyone's every state's in competition for the most fickle weather.

I think sometimes things like that it's just to prepare people for the inevitable unexpected, now you know what I mean. It's like saying, hey, don't get too comfortable in your sweater, right, don't relax. Everything comes to an end every and things change and go opposite. And this is the pendubble of life that we're all stuck on. Yeah, stop acting like it's going to be winter for the rest of your goddamn life.

Yeah. Yeah.

It starts with the weather, and then it ends with you're never going to get the job you wanted either, Right.

It starts it starts with the fickleness of weather that goes into your abject failure.

Yeah yeah, well weather is just training you for never getting what you want in line.

Yes, yeah, and why should you? What have you ever done? Yeah? I think you just because you were born you deserve everything you want. No, you've got to pull up your boot stratch and work for it.

And A your taxes. Tax day is coming up? Can I share a Can I share a moment with the two of you?

Sure? Tax day? Is it about filing for an extension?

It's about me burping straight into the micropoft. I just signed my taxpapers for this year, which is a great feeling because for five years I didn't do my taxes.

Still no, no, no, no, oh right, right, I remember those dark days. I was in the same boat. Yes, we were.

We would talk about it often, but my dream came true, Like I mean, it happened. I've done it now for say three years. But it's just this is the world I wanted to live in, which is someone comes and hands me my tax papers and I just sign them and write and now I'm it's taken care of for me. And that has been my goal, more so than fame, fortune performing. Is just someone do my taxes and all I do is sign and then someone takes the package away. And that just happened right before you guys got to

Actually the actually did have a guy that actually did it.

And Lilah my accountant, Oh what about you though?

And not to get all into tax talk, but everyone's thinking about it.

If this podcast is nothing, which is yeah, I mean kind of is. If it's not funny, it's gonna everyone's thinking about taxes.

Yes, don't you just come out on April te Oh wow, the.

Happy text everybody, thank you, See Damon, You're welcome.

But I'd have to itally up my receipts. I'd fill out a spreadsheet.

I'm the only one that has access to that information.

I look at my old bank records.

I try, you know, I think it's a conspiracy though, a lot of these receipts.

Just self destruct.

They're on some sort of copy paper and by the end of the year it's just shiny and there's no you know what I'm talking about.

Yes, where the ink speed slides off.

Yeah, and it looks like it was burnt like some of them looked like they were held put an iron.

Was put on them. It's because you set them out in the sun that way. I do.

I put all my receipts on a window sill like an avocado.

I told you not to.

I said, no more toothpicks in the receipts, and you said, I'll do it.

I want I'm a snowboarder. Yeah, yeah, and you started kicking me again.

It's kicking to the side and to the side, hoping one day you would go to my wright left Zoomba class.

Anyways, I don't know how that could get done for you. How did you? How do you do your expenses? You have expenses? I do, Yeah, it's all done by my accountant. Is amazing.

It basically went from me being so financially fucked that all my only solution that I could come up with personally was sit and cry and then never talk about it.

I've been there, right, I know a lot of people that have been there.

But here's what I think anybody, if you might be in this situation, please remember, first of all, panic, don't panic, look for answers and ask for help from people you trust, not people either you don't know or who won't help you. Because I went to different people for help, and when I wouldn't get the help the way I needed it, it would make me not ask again for a long time until I finally, like basically, you know, got a

This is real.

Like I didn't do anything except for that podcast that my favorite murder became a hit and suddenly I had the ability to change the situation. Right, But that was you know, that's because I put in a bunch of work on that, right.

Right, But you also it has to be I mean, I'm not saying I'm worsoft, but you know how I can only do one thing at a time physically.

I am that way mentally too.

If I think about any task and it's daunting, I really avoid it, Yeah, because I know there are steps, and I'm like, oh, I'll just take care of this. I can do this right now. And I let years back up at one point just and pretended.

It wasn't happening. Yeah, I mean, I think that's very natural.

I think people beat themselves up so much for having human reactions to scary things, and so like, I was ashamed that I didn't get take care of it. I felt like a bad adult all these things where I used it to even pile on more where it was bad enough. I was having a bad time enough already, right, I didn't need to get.

Beaten up over the fact that it happened or that it was happening. So I don't know, I don't know.

I can't say it's not like the solution, because when you have tax problems, it just feels like scary and everything. Yeah, but you don't have to sit in it and suffer. You can like take little steps and take It's all about little changes toward the big change.

I every once in a while, and when my back's against the loan, something huge just happened. Like, for instance, I just moved and I threw away a lot of my male and receipt that I'm not great at paper shredding. I should have, but I was throwing them all away into a recycled bin that has a lock on it in my alley.

M hm.

Anyway, I kept getting notifications and I was ignoring them from Sprint saying do you want to activate your new device? Because I at one point I got a iPad. A while ago, someone had been ordering phones to my account. Yeah, I had thousands of dollt and they were being delivered to a hotel.

Near my house. God and I yeah, addressed to me.

And so I called who I thought was Sprint, and it was a guy I gave my credit card. I hate that I'm admitting this, but I gave my credit card in photo a person that just had the script in front of them. And I realized it after it happened, and so I got a new card.

So I stopped that one.

Wait, explain that better so that people have a better awareness of what that trick is, because that was it had to do with you applying to it.

Do not ever, if someone calls you claiming they are your cellular company, just hang up and call them because they there are people that can call you and make their number pop up, the Sprint number pop up, and that's what this person was able to do. I talked to the Sprint fraud guy and he kind of walked me through what they were able to do. Also, this person, they were nice to me. They were talking like we

So we sent it back. So it got sent back to Spring. Oh that's good, that's great. So and there.

But for a while I was like, really, this is happening, like thousands of dollars an iPad, some new iPhones, things I would love to have. You know, I have a rickety old phone. It smokes when I and I would and I was so frustrated. And it's while I'm moving like I'm dealing with this as I have a paint brush in my hand anyway, So I think it's all taken care of.

But don't throw away your receipts and things in mail. Yes, shred it. It is important.

I've always heard that, uh, And that's why I had a joke about ripping things in half and ripping those in half, and because I'm hoping my identity thief just hates puzzles. That's an old joke of mine, but it's real, it's true, and it's based on Michelle Balloon telling me a long time ago to get a paper shreadder I'm like, ah, and it's I feel I'm just I'm marrying out my problems because I've just made a mistake.

Arem Well?

No, because also that you could prevent another person from having that happen, because there's lots of people who don't.

I wouldn't have known that.

If they call me, don't talk to them and be like, I'll call you back. That's a great trick no matter what. Anyone that calls you'd be like, you know what, I'm going to call you back. Yeah, I'm going you know what, this is gonna be on my time.

Yeah.

With Sprain, it's like starve two and you do you call them back? Don't and they sprint calls me all the time and I'm talking to a person. Apparently you're not supposed to do that. Yeah, because there are people that are gifted thieves. Yes, comment, And I don't know, you know, I'm not sure how they did it, but it's the only reason I'm assuming it was someone digging through my garbage and finding old stuff is that they were delivered to a hotel. There just two blocks. These

I'm no. I don't think you're not willing to accept it. Don't accept it. Don't accept it at the hotel, don't accept it at your home. Not certainly, not in your head. There's a new way. That is the cost. There's new way.

I'm so embarrassed about it that I'm sweating, don't you Are you kidding?

This fucking happens to people constantly.

I've kept it to myself, but we know that I like to blurt every I've gotten so much trouble on this podcast.

I've had gotten comedy clubs mad at me. Yeah, I just I warned you, but you know that I do it. I know you did. I know you did not do it. I do it, and I did it. I do he I owe you. Oh, we have to get it out. Listen.

There's no If something bad happens to you like that, it's good to talk about it because the one of the benefits. It's not like you can redo any of that happening. We can just help other people have it and not happen to them.

And I guess what I have.

The thing I've learned about myself, or the thing I can glean from it is when shade hits the fan like that where they're like, Hi, you spread ten thousand dollars, I don't freak out. I call, and I call. I'm like, oh, well, this is hilarious. This is scarier than an I. R. S Man coming because at least you can reason with them. They're the government or whatever. Yeah, or you think you can.

Well, yes, I mean your jiu jitsu skills are fucking nuts. It's probably why they're so jealous of you and stole your identity in the first time.

I've had no training, right, That's what's inherent jiu jitsu, just doing the soul.

Really I have through my blood coursing the ability of.

And I never even asked for it. It was just gifted. Like I was on a mountaintop with some monks.

They were like, do you want jiu jitsu? And you were like, sure, jiu jitsu? And sure. That was terrible. It wasn't even a pun it didn't sound like anything.

The problem would be around me as I rub off on people, and it's the parts of me that aren't that that are made annoying people Throughout my life, I've said I've been doing this now I when I talk, I spit because I'm around you, or when things I've always done.

That's about it.

Oh I thought you met me and I got really embarrassed. I'm a big spitter.

Oh I just rerediting my special oo Oh, let me talk. Oh Canada, I tell you there's a very Morgan Mindy show and did very tried very hard to do a young Robin Williams impression, and it turns out I just they actually said I wasn't hairy enough.

Oh yeah, and the guy that they hired looked exactly like Robin Williams and did a very good impression of him, but he wasn't like a comedian.

So I really still think they should have hired me. Anyway, How long was this? This was a decade ago.

Yes, it's a made for TV Moran Mindy specific biopic about Robin Williams and his transition into fame.

And is hair, Well, you had very hairy arms. I don't have a lot of body here.

I'm not bragging, I mean, but what they're saying is you could get extensions, but you're not willing to make the sacrifice.

Right exactly.

You know I've always said, no one touches this skin, certainly not the skin on my arms.

Wait? Can I sidebar you really quick? Oh? Please do? Or were you trying to make a point separate from Robin Wood? You know what, it probably wouldn't have gotten back there. I was just going to say it just for me to remember.

Last night we recorded at the studio and on my way home, I realized I didn't bring my normal glasses. I only had my sunglasses. But it was nine o'clock at night and my sunglasses are prescription. So I had to drive home last night with my sunglasses on in the dark.

And you couldn't fuck it hilarious? Did you have that song in your head the whole time?

I mean a little bit too, a little bit, but I really you look like such a dumb ass, Like it looks like you think that looks good.

Right? Uh?

It does not bothers me when people have sunglasses on at night.

Yeah, well it's stupid, like you don't need them, and so clearly they're doing it for some weird reason, right.

Right, But you know what the other side of that coin is don't missle Brown with the dog shit. I don't know. This is part of it. It is that one of the biggest parts of it.

I would say, Oh, I was going to say, we've been editing my special.

I'm very excited about it. It looks good. But I spit so much and it is well lit.

So much spit flies out of my mouth while I'm doing comedy. That it's I'm thinking of naming it.

Hey, come spit with me. That's a really good idea.

Is like.

I'm trying to think of like a I want to get it on this naming. Yes, I don't know what to name my special. The spit roast. Oh you're not a roast? Comment roast? Spit honest spit?

Could I could I bend your ear for a spittle?

No, that's terrible. We will.

We should spit all this spinballing, Yeah, spitballingballing, spitballing.

But it's spit b A W L I D like you're crying because you're crying about how much you spit.

And there's a substantial amount of talking about crying in the special.

It's a perfect yes balling. It is fitballing. We've done it, and it's done. I don't know what to call it. That was the same with my album.

I just called it Fairbanks because I didn't know what else to call it.

Yeah, I think not that important. I don't think so, but I think it's funny. Like, please ignore how much I spit as a title of a special.

Is hilarious? Oh maybe, okay, because then when people watch it and see you spit, they laugh.

Additionally, Oh, you're right, I'm adding jokes by having easter eggs.

Oh, other people love it easter egg Okay. I'm driving us up in here because I'm looking. We're going to look at houses. Oh, we're after chopping for houses. Yeah, I just I really like this area. Oh I do too.

Isn't it cool? I think George Clooney lives somewhere around here?

Oh? Is there anyone. He's one of my favorite celebrities. He's the coolest. Yeah. I know that he's cool. I've heard too many stories. Yeah, and he's fun, you mean, like.

And throughout his life, even since he is young and on facts of life.

Thank you, thank you for Pete's sake. I know you jump in there.

You knew he's always had these pet pigs and it's great. There's a Google right now a picture of George Clooney with a pig. You'll see pictures from the eighties, pictures from the nineties.

He liked pigs before they were like hip.

Before pigs were awesome, which he has an Instagram account.

I enjoy. He was in the pigs early on. Yeah, he's cool. He's a kermit of movies.

He's He's also somebody you know would be funded like drink with if you were stuck somewhere good times, if there's a blizzard and we're all at his house.

If you someone that's been sober for a while.

If kloon Dog came up and said, Hey, do you want a whiskey, Karen, would you just leap off the wagon.

Just I would never look back.

I would never I would I would cash in everything I had. I would lose it all for one session of drinking whiskey with fucking George Clooney. The only problem is that I would behave so badly, you know what I mean. The behavior would go off the rails.

Very quickly, Chelsea Handler woman behaving.

I'd be one of those booze moms everyone loves to Instagram about I.

Like the reference short lived TV shows from years ago.

Was that a sitcom woman I don't know, Karras Aldanovitch was on and she she's hilarious.

I love her.

Yeah, she's such a good stand up comic.

I like where we're at. Look at that farmhouse.

Do you like this weird freestanding chair that's in the middle of the street.

Oh wow, that's from a minivan or something.

It's confronting us. Yeah, it's like, do not pass. I don't like it. I don't like that conk. Do you know George Clooney pii Oh okay, Well look at that doggie? Can you see through the fence? Maybe it's no, you're saying a dog that I can't see. Is anyone else seeing the dog? This is a cool pretty we did this pass.

I've always been into well groomed, well shaped hedges, especially the ones that dairy queen that look like a soft served cone. But these little these I remember we were at my grandma's house and my friend came with me. We were in like sixth grade, and their hedges were always like perfect right angled, perfectly cut, full hedges, like so perfect that they're like the branches are like an inch thick, but they're you know, they've just been cut

That's where do you think you got the bug bitten? Right there? That hetch moment right there? They called it a hedging moment. Oh, yes, yes, they always have, They always in comedy. When was your hedge moment in comedy?

I guess when I stood on the bench in sixth grade at lunchtime at my new school and did an impression speaking of the facts of life of Jerry Blair's cousin Jerry, who had cerebral palsy, and I did an impression of Jerry for everyone on it, in.

Which now you know would be bad. I kind of knew it was bad at the time.

Yeah, yeah, but the problem was my impression was dead fucking on right. So a group of children gathered around because it was such a good impression to watch me. But the playground monitor, of course, she didn't get the reference.

She just thought I was making fun of.

A handicapped Oh no, Yeah, I went to the principal's office.

Yep.

And that's when I thought to myself, Yes, this is what I'm about.

It's I am. I will defend you right now. I will defend young you. Well, I think you're a kid. You do whatever you can to make other kids laugh. Yes, and it's oftentimes it's at the expense of others. Oftentimes that's called bullying.

But if the person isn't there, right, is it bullying? Who's being stopped? Sign? Yeah? How's your stop sign working out? Yeah?

Friend, I knew he wanted to ignore it. This is a nice area. Which place are you going to buy, Karen?

No, I don't know. I would like a hill in the backyard. What about that one? You should live there? That's a nice ranch style home. I don't know.

I just think it's cool because I didn't realize there were these little, tucked away neighborhoods. Yeah, up here. The only problem is now we're getting back toward h not to Studio City, but we're getting back too far. This way because I think I want to live back that way more. But see how many houses are for sale.

Yeah, lots of them. It's they are cool and they're all a little different. Yeah, I just want a pool, that's all. Oh yeah, but wait, don't you really how often you use the pool? Do you have? Oh my god? It's not about how often I use it, which certainly isn't. It's when I use it? Do I use it to its fullest capacity?

Oh?

Right? Okay, And the answer is I sure the fuck do? Yeah?

You swim around the edge, touching every single tile twice.

I make my own whirlpool, and I will whirlpool myself.

You hand, you put an arcle on a mask, and you hand pick up all the leaves at the bottom.

Yes, that's my favorite activity. Actually, I have been really getting into lately. Lackload's good. Oh wow. Oh we take a picture of that sign for me? Thank you? Yeah. I also have seen a picture on some other signs. She might que you into some other area houses. Yeah, that one is clearly there's people thank you too. There's there's a there's certain real estate people.

I almost apologize to a stick that you drove over like it was like it was stepping on someone's foot.

Our apologies, our apologies. We certainly don't want to be stepping on any stick toes. There's another Oh that's for lease. No, I'm not going to lease no house. That's a waste.

Yeah, it's man that people say leasing is wrong, it's against the environment.

So I'm probably gonna if I ever do on purpose, get a new phone.

That's how I end up doing it that you actually use.

Yeah, that actually ends up being activated by me.

No, just get that.

Plot of land, yeah, and literally run up that hill constantly.

I mean there's some nice trees up there. It is beautiful. Man. I kind of want to go camping. Is anyone with me on that? You know?

Where I would want to go that I don't think I've been to as far as I can tell.

Is this? Is it the Sequoias? The one that's basically kind.

Of like up toward on the way to Mammoth but it's a little further east.

Wow, I mean there are those kind of trees. It has to be Sequoia National Park. Yeah, yeah, I think that's what I'm thinking of. Sure, it's kind of Yosemite ish.

Yes, yes, I want to see that it's all it's worth seeing.

It's there's so many beautiful places around southern California and close to Los Angeles that we just are so worried about auditioning for cat food commercials that we don't go no.

And look at them. And I want to start.

I want to buy a tent, and I want to get a backpack, and I want to get.

Mulled by a bear. I don't want downhill. I've done a lot of camping. This could be your punk rock neighbor.

I'm going to tell her how much we have in common. Do you like Susie and the Bantis too? Susie, I just don't ever want to camp again. But I do want to be in nature and then retreat to a gorgeous hotel.

Right, that's the kind of asshole I am. Yeah.

I think I like the sleeping looking at stars thing.

I think I'm into that, but I do want to be warm.

You can't look at stars when you're asleep, and I'm sorry to argue with you.

I have to call you on your bullshit. Here's what I do. I rub my eyes.

Really, You're not supposed to do it, but rub eyes really intensely and for a minute.

Even with them closed, you will see stars. You make your own stars, or you can have.

A cartoon character hit you on the head with some object and then you'll see stars.

I mean, hopefully an oversize mallet. If you're going to be authentic to the.

Oh god, damn it. These are beautiful homes. I want to be a part of this community. I do too.

There's all these like eat that home looks like it's somewhere in Astoria, Oregon.

Yes, like all green, lush. What is that a fern? Oh? Man, that's one? Oh what are we in the outskirts of Chicago?

I know right, it's every style because Los Angeles is just a bunch of people who are transplants from over their places.

Look at this the the wrong side of the tracks, Idaho.

It's like, yeah, that looks like country Pedaluma where it's like we don't have to mow our front its yard if we don't want to.

It's almost like every house, every family in these houses is trying to look like they're from a different area. That was a very That whole neighborhood was like inconsistent in a really cool way.

Imagine it during Halloween.

Oh I can't stop thinking, Oh, decorate all those.

Homes for Halloween. Okay, I'm going to show you a house that I've actually looked on the inside of.

We really are doing this, yeah, okay, I'll help you decide.

Okay, very exciting.

It's all they're all too expensive, and it's all very like this seems like a bad idea, but I just think I need to do it at the same time.

Yes, you know, you know how it is good help with wallpapering, painting, any of that electrician stuff you're really good at. I've been postponing all of it so I can go to your house, get it started and leave most of the items okay, and unused glue just on the floor, and then you walk around that.

Okay.

So basically you're kind of a starter for when I hire the real person.

I need help. Okay. Well, I'm saying, all right, so.

When you hire a real person, send them over my way, because I probably still won't have done it.

It's you mean, you need help for yourself, but you come first. What's fun.

It would be funny to hire a person and like on their card it said like they're a handyman, but it just says I need help, Like, I'm not gonna I can't do this. It's too much already, and then you still hire them anyway.

I look, I'm still just two hands. I'm not a magician. I'm a handyman. Hey, that's what says on the card.

And then there's a guy with really big hands.

I have been youtub you can pretty much.

It's pretty interesting how you can YouTube anything and someone will have made a how to video.

Yes, that's true.

I actually looked up and Stephen knows this because we had a coffee maker in the exactly right studio that we ordered the Ninja and we only had it for a month and it started doing this weird thing, basically just shutting itself off. And I watched a YouTube video literally the exact problem. Like it took one Google search right to find a guy who'd made a video about how to fixture ninja. If this thing is happening, right, it's crazy, right.

I found the how to install a lamp video was my actual lamp that I thought, but it's just like not how to install it into a nineteen thirties home.

With crumbly wires. This house, this is a beautiful house. This is the one I looked at. It's perfect. I love it.

It's a little too expensive, yeah, but it's big and fancy and it has the most beautiful pool in backyard.

It's like a dream.

But I thought, we looked at it. This is the first house I looked at and I was like, it's perfect.

I just want to get it. Don't do that, don't be that way about it.

So I've looked at other places, but this is kind of my like, this is the one to beat.

It is beautiful. I like that modern looking door, isn't that cool?

All I'm a big I'm a big modern furniture person.

Like the furniture you can get an article, yes, kind of like a mid century feeling. Yeah, there's nothing better.

And then when you've got other stuff like a rustic whiskey drink and leather chair, you gotta get rid of it all of a sudden it's all modern or go home or stay home.

Or you can keep like a leather whiskey drinking chair as a singular piece and feature it and focus it.

I guess so I can.

I got to have a corner of the room that's like, here's my whiskey foxtrot.

Can't wait, ska Cavalier corner.

Can I just say though, that one of the reasons that I was thinking that that house wouldn't be good to buy is because it would be so busy and noisy during commute.

And it's not. We're on the street right now, it's not busy in the least. That's a nice al Camino. Yeah, there's some good ship around here.

Right.

When my grandpa was sick towards the end of his life, he bought a El Camino that was all black and I believe it said ghost Rider.

There on the side of the car.

Yeah, and I can I don't know if there's a grim reaper or anything off of this was a new hot rod pickup truck car, like you know, an old Camino.

Shit. And I rode in and once my dad was driving and we it's rear wheel drive.

We hit a patch ice did about four three sixties on a freeway in the winter, but we were okay, okay, it was okay, good, Yeah, And it was so you know, it's.

People, you know, it's it's just how how life is well.

And also luckily it wasn't like your grandpa's lifelong El Camino.

It was just like, oh, I got this because it's a fun Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, it's just and you know, when you're a kid, you remember things differently.

Maybe it was a year before he passed.

I don't know, Man, that car it makes me want to get a black Alchemino and put ghost Rider on the side.

Yeah. It's kind of the coolest thing I've ever heard, the coolest thing for a grandpa. I it was a cool grandpa. He sounds like it. Did he wear like Ben Davis pants and stuff? Oh? Sure, cock driver? Yeah, yeah, it's all you know, he's a tough guy.

Sure yeahs folded flannel shirts folded at the elbow.

Sure, yeah, I know, I know it is. He never covered up those forearms. Why would he know?

That's a lot of people roll up their sleeves right before they do a task.

What if you're always doing tasks, you just don't need some Yeah no, that's why he wore everything sleeveless. Oh I don't want to go back down.

Oh moholland get away. I can't believe how not busy this area is. I thought it was going to be crazy.

I mean we are in this is kind of rush hour time. Yeah it is. And it's okay, Well then I'm gonna buy that a house beautiful.

I got pretty you have my permission to get it. You really, Yes, it's gorgeous.

It's a pretty great house.

And it has that thing that I love, which is the wall that faces the backyard where the pool is. It's just it's just sliding glass doors so you can have like the entire back of the house open.

Yeah.

Wow, that's like that's like in every in every movie. That's what drug dealers have.

Yeah, that's what I, as a drug dealer want. Yeah, I can deal my drugs better right there on the corner.

Karen Doby SAMs. We're recording no woops. So what was it like in Denver? The show was fun? Oh? Our Denver show was majestic, was it? Yeah? Those audiences are so good they Denver specifically, Denver specifically.

Yeah, they know they love comedy, They support comedy, they watch it all the time.

They have great taste. I don't know an other town that has more of a supportive scene.

Yeah, they're the new Portland's Portland was the new San Francisco. It's all super cool and and I got like, right before the show started, I got a little nervous because and I know I've told you this story before, but when I first started doing stand up, like very first after working in TV for five years and then leaving and then going and doing stand up again, the first thing I did was Greg Barrett had me middle for him at the Irvine improv, which I was terrible, but but I was back.

On my feet.

I remember this time period because I was his middle often.

Oh I see, yeah, I hear what you're saying. Yeah, you totally took a and I was depending on it that week. Well, I needed to go and eat it, and I did.

But then I got my agent called and said, do you want to open for the Flight of the Concords in Denver? It's a one nighter and you have to fly yourself out, And I was like absolutely, because I love the.

Flight of the Conquerords of any normal person. Sure.

Well, one of the things I forgot to specify to the people, because of course, the Flight of the Conquers are a music act, and so they have their here's your future house.

There it is ding ding ding ding ding ding. That's beautiful, boy, love it. I'll never live somewhere like that. You don't know that do not say it. We'll see you don't say it, you envision it. No, I'm you know my routine.

If I say that it's not going to happen, what are the chances of it actually not happened?

You shoot?

You can't shoot something down, shut it out of your life, and then also have it not happen.

That's just two coincidences. Yeah, it's two coincidences.

Oh, I'll never have a Topaz Ferrari. Hey, hey, look what are That's such a specific car. I'll probably have one.

Now you know it's inevitable.

No one breaks into my car as I park it here. Now they're going to break in, right, you know what I'm saying.

I think so a lot of people are like, don't put that in the universe. I'm saying, and you're saying, put it in and challenge the US, challenge the universe. Okay, Well, my.

End of that anecdote is I didn't specify for them to not wrap the mic cord around the mic stand fifty times like they do for musicians. Oh right, So when I went out, I couldn't take the mic off the mic stand, so I just had to stand there. And then so I couldn't kind of get anything going or like be myself because I was now this weird stand in one spot comic, which is very bad.

Yeah.

The first thing you have to fumble with. It takes away all your power. Oh the chord's going through the thing. Yeah, people are watching you do it. You haven't said anything yet. Yeah, during my special no mic stand my cordless mic on a bench.

Yeah, right, because you don't want to it's it's weird, dumb business, not a park bench.

The background is great. It's a gorky par like period park. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, it's beautiful. An old man in the background of gift. We had live pigeons on set. The end of this story, it's gonna be worth it, not at all?

Is that I ate it so deeply royally opening for the flight of the Concords that a guy wrote an article about how bad I was way in some Denver, you know, comedy newspaper that, of course I got my hands on and then freaked out forever of like I.

Shouldn't be doing this, which is kind of fine. It set me off of the path of is he still write comedy? I have no idea. I don't know who it was.

It was just basically going the opener suck to the Flight of the Conquerors are amazing because.

There's a nice guy there, John Wenzel, who wrote a book about comedy and he's written articles. When I'm there, he seems really he would never do that. It's probably not him, Probably not him. Yeah, but it's great. All I wanted to say is he's great, and he wasn't the guy.

Probably not, but but we can't ever know. Why was the cord wrapped.

Around the mic so much because they're musicians and that's how they have their mics, so nobody was adjusting it for what I.

Needed, and they had scarves and things hanging from the mics stand to Basically.

I just wanted to do well in front of a Denver audience because right at the eleventh hour, I was like, what if I eat it again? And then like the debt, the discerning and tough customer Denver crowd is like, nah, she's not that good. And so the show was awesome and I was so excited because I was like, ah, I.

Don't have to worry about that anymore.

Yeah, yeah, it basically got rid of Yeah, it like deleted that fail off of mine.

Do you feel like the audience there has changed and it's way better new just because they've been kind of trained to be a comedy town.

I feel like.

I maybe I mean, but I don't. I was giving them nothing to enjoy. I'll say this, it was bad. It was bad material. But normally I had a little bit of play. I could kind of like make it seem a little bit interesting because I would have personality behind it. But being stuck on the mic stand, you're just like you're weirdly like Stephen Wright all of a sudden, yeah or whoever.

Also stand ups hard and you have to do it all the damn time, And if you haven't been doing.

It, yeah, you can't. Just you can't just pick up gigs after five years of not doing it.

No, I can't even do it after taking a month off y and predictably do well horrible.

And even if you do well, like we were talking about earlier the project, we can't see our own good thing because we're the ones doing it right.

So like me, I can really see my bad things. Yeah, I'm so good at the bad thing.

So it was like, all in all, I feel like that is such a good feeling to delete the old fail that, like.

Was it weird? Weird around the play of the Concord Sky Germaine and the other guy. No, they were so nice. It couldn't have been nicer.

Yeah, but I left immediately after my safe It was bad enough so that I was just like, goodbye?

Did you cry? Sometimes I cry after it goes really bad. I definitely have.

I don't that time, I kind of was like more bewildered, like why did I volunteer for this?

It's very weird of me.

Sure you took the realistic approach, Yes, like who am I?

Who am I? And what's happening? Yes?

Well, I always think I'm never going to feel that way again, Like, oh, because you'll have a dozen good shows. It's like I'm finally in full control over this. Yeah, it's art of mine and no no eating. It is always there for you.

It's a surprise every time because it's you know, it's like.

The crowd, your own mood, the amount of material you do or don't have, right, the other things going on in your life. Like I just did goddamn comedy jam, I had no material. I didn't realize I was supposed to do a set beforehand, I scraped up six jokes that Lizzie texted to me. Really yes, because I was like, do you remember any jokes of mine? I have to do a set, and then basically told the audience I haven't done a set in six months and didn't know I was supposed to do this.

Now, listen to these ideas and then I'll get out of your hair.

Basically, and it ended up being really fun, of course, because you get that disclaimer.

Yes, the disclaimer and performing live doing the podcast does a lot of the same things.

It's just not that written material. But it's like, it's not cold.

You know, yeah, I fail, you're really comfortable on stages in front of thousands of people.

Yes, it's gotten. It has gotten a little bit.

Then you're doing other things and going, oh, this isn't the be all end all. I can suck right now and that's okay too, Whereas my entire stand up career it's like the idea of sucking was like automatic death.

Yeah, when in reality, way more people are judging the words I'm saying right now listening to this than have ever.

And then months of doing life. Sure, yeah, absolutely, but you don't know that. No, all right, try not to think about it. The ignorance. It's bliss. Oh my, yes, but I do.

I want you to start doing stand up again, okay, And I want you to start that band.

And I want you to clean your room. No, it's your house looks nice and plain. Thank you, You're welcome.

It's really nice to have a clean house. Uh, when you have two dogs. Yeah, it felt so impossible for so long.

Do they help at all play in the house. No, what they don't.

I like to remind them often that they bring nothing to the table in terms of how the house runs.

They're spoiled. They complain all the time.

That's not true. Tonight one of your doggies brought a chew toy to the table.

Well, and you almost rolled your ankle on it. That was one of Frank's tricks.

You can tell that he's a con man from the streets is He slid that bullystick right under my foot and then ice skating style from a cartoon went sliding backwards.

And then he had three cups and he said which one has the marble under it?

And he grifted me and then I said, I'm not playing that game. Oh, it's clearly under that cup, where the hell's my wallet? And then Frank's the woe that's ordering tablets and phones.

But you know what, I'd be a way less mad if I found out it was a dog doing all this.

It would be pretty awesome. You'd get your own segment on Good Morning America.

I bet did you when you were a kid, did you have a grown up in a McGruff suit come to your school and teach you about Do you know who McGruff the climb dog is?

I sure do. He's a detective dog, I know. Did he ever come here school? Colombo based detective had a trench coat?

No?

I think I was too old. Okay, uh? Yeah?

Did you have sprocket Man, the bicycle safety superhero Midar school?

Never? He may have been. He was in an all red a lot of grown men in costumes.

Yeah, we had missus Terwilliger who would come and explain. She had this van where the sides opened, and then she had all these pieces of nature and she would just explain to you what everything was.

So she'd be like, he has a robin's nest. And she was like this old lady with gray hair. She was like a mother nature superhero.

Yes, but yeah she was awesome. But that was for like little kids. Yeah, And it was basically like, if.

You see this snake nest, don't put your arm in it. It was a lot of that, oh wow, see that's actually useful. Yeah. A lot of kids, you know, stick their pants right in us. I mean it's so irritating.

But I saw the mcgruffa crime Dog cartoons on when we would watch cartoons, but no one ever showed up in right.

I think a lot of people have seen the cartoons. Someone actually had a professionally made costume and multiple times came to my school because mainly they're saying, go to a house with my name on it or my picture in the window if you are being you know, because everyone's getting kidnaped indies.

Yeah, And it was my biggest fear. It really always was. And every day I thought I was going to get a kidnapped. Yeah.

I'm glad you did thought that because I probably kept you spry alert. Right.

I was kind of a paranoid kid in general. But also I think it was smarter my parents to be like, hey, there's people that grab you. Yes, And so everyone was a kidnapper walking to school.

I just you know, I.

Think I've said this before, but my sister, as a teacher, tells her kids all the time adults don't need help from kids.

If an adult is asking you for help for something, oh my god, get away.

Yeah, because it's it's the perfect explanation where it's just like, oh, can you help me find this dog? Can you help me? That's how they usually get little kids the worst. They draw them in and so that makes me mad.

Yeah, it's a weird, sweaty, foreheaded Stanley Tucci.

Character the Lovely Book that was hard for me. It's tough. It's a tough ride that movie. Have you read the book? No, I don't know if I can. Also, I'm saying I don't know if I know how to read. I did so long.

I did a little interview thing for my manager's website is a veil website, and she just kind of interviewed all her clients and one of the questions was it.

Was a book.

Follow up questions too, And I felt so dumb that I didn't have an example of a book I've been reading.

Oh god, it made me go and at.

Least just flipped through David Sadara's book essays, I can tackle those and.

David Snares, that's the most readable anything.

On the planet. It's the best. Yeah. Yeah, so so I just looked.

At his pages so I could put down dress your Family, Cornerine or whatever it was is.

There is the essay in that one when he talks about being in art school and his dad coming to his art show.

I think so because that sounds familiar, but it might be from one of the other ones.

It is the best.

If you have a chance to read David Sedars's essay about being on I think he's on like Crank or something and doing a like.

A performance show and his dad comes.

It's I was laughing so hard on a plane that like I had to stop reading it because I was making a scene.

Yeah yeah, Like I was.

Choke like volume laughing. Really, it was so embarrassing and it was so funny.

I get a lot of well, well you see him on Twitter and you see him too, But people say.

That with their podcast. Does that for them sometimes? Oh, like it embarrasses them at work? Well yeah, because a lot of people are listening privately. Yes, I love it. I mean that's the compliment is the ultimate compliment. Is you getting fired while is you getting on worke detention for some reason? You better be.

Laughing at how quickly you're finishing that progress.

Report right away, mister to Willigert about doom.

You all work in fifties offices.

But for the lady that shows children nature things that I just mentioned, I God, that sounds familiar.

But we grew up in different towns, so there's no way. Yeah, I think she was local, but I SA County. I think that we had a woman like that, but it was just puppets. She was a puppet, yeah, puppet.

Teer okay, yeah, but she would talk about nature.

I think just talk to herself using puppets.

The scenes really never went anywhere, and she maybe wasn't even hired.

By this school. She was just she was just right on the chain link fence in the playground.

Yeah, it's like, I don't know, someone wants to entertain the kids for a while. It's all us teachers go have a smoke break. Is that her you found? How did you find her?

That's her spell? Wow? Good work, Stephen Well. I love her face. This is there was a clam and a muscle type of stuff. Oh wow, she's the best. She's your by the way, with Thompson, what if I brought up a picture and it was me, Oh, that would be nuts. Do you remember any photo shoots with that woman? I mean, your people love to photo shoot with me? Is that you and the bowl cut? That look at her?

But you'd go out to the beach with her, and then she'd be like, dick down here, and that's how you find that, you know what I mean?

Like she knew all the tricks.

I can't remember. It's a vague memory, but I wasn't quite that young. But it was friends of an old my old ex step mom. They we went, we were in like the Puget Sound somewhere and went these nice old folks on their boat took us crabbing, and they were so sweet.

They were like it was a really fun time.

And I was trying to I was a rebellious little kid, like not wanting to be there for some reason.

I was having one of my moods.

Yeah, and they were so sweet and showing me the traps and now they catch the crabs. And my dad and I were in this little boat, not the main boat, but the boat they pull the traps and empty them in and all of a sudden they emptied the trap and thirty crabs that looked like giant spiders are just coming. We both almost jumped out of the boat. And they were just laughing. And these they were these sweet old people.

I'm like, oh, you you old folks have an edge to you, yo. Yeah.

And that woman was say she probably could grab a snake from the snake pile. Hell yes, and not be scared of it.

She would be. She would be.

She would teach that snake a lesson if she found it, but she would be gentle with it, maybe put a little hat on it.

Yeah, that's my favorite thing. It's pretty cool. Well, you know it's funny too.

That's so funny of you saying like, then you're in a little mood because it's like, especially back then, like my parents never checked to make sure we ate lunch or you know what I mean, Like it wasn't like being tended to the way kids are tended to these days. I'm just so jealous because I would get moods or whatever, because I'm super sugar sensitive. So if I didn't have anything to eat, and then they'd be like, you'll be fine,

Yeah, for some reason, right, my mood went away once I had a little crab mate. Yes, like it's hungry that things. Reasons, God damn it, there's reasons.

No, it was I remembered that one of the man I wish I remembered who these people were. They just that woman reminded me of that picture of her, just like a family friend, old boat man. But I was in a mood and he said, hey, cheer up, you should be in a better mood. And I snapped right out of it. This nice old man was like noticing, and I'm like, oh, I thought I was being more subtle. Yes, I need to work on Okay, Yeah.

I'm back. I'm having fun. Let's go crabbing. I don't want you to be mad at me, old ma'am. Yeah who I never knew, untaw again, but he made an impression. That's so.

The point is not all strangers are bad kids. That's right, life lessons.

If it's a fishermen, their chances are they're good.

Here's the problem with that.

That idea though, of putting a sticker on a house, right with McGruff the car, what a great way to get kids to come to your house exactly. That's the other thing too, is ask a mom. That's that's another thing that my Sistery says. If you if you think you're in trouble, go run and find a mom.

Yeah. That's very anti dad, it is. That's right, it is. Yeah, how do you know it's a mom?

If dads don't like a lady with kids, I mean, it might be the dragon lady, but your odds are as a lady.

In my neighborhood that looked like a witch that you ran to you, it.

Would be that every kid was scared of the point is they come in all shapes and size.

It's these scary ladies now people, but usually the ladies.

It's moreover like a dragon Lady's gonna be like, get the fuck away from me.

I'm the dragon.

She would drive around on a right around on a bike. She wore all black. Her house was entirely spray painted with graffiti. She my mom was a sewer billing person. She didn't use the city plumbing and her house was right by my school and covered with graffiti get out, stay out. And now in retrospect, I think other people spray painted her house.

It wasn't her. Oh no.

She wore tons of makeup and had a black veil, so she kind of was like, hey, I want to look creepy. Yeah, and she went. She was a dragon lady, and my mom always was nice to her. And she's like, oh, she's fine. She came in and why are they honking? I don't understand.

That that person was going going too slow.

But she's a real person and everyone was scared of her. Everyone remembers who that was.

Yeah, well that's she's going to make a real impression. That's like the Lava Lady. I just recently found out that the lady I like to talk about and called the Unicorn Lady here in La Her actual name that people know her by is the Lava Lady because her house is made of lava rock or was.

I think she's passed away at this point, but she used to walk.

Around on LaBrea around third and she had a bun that went straight up like a unicorn.

Like it was like a like a Marge Simpson type weget, but it was it was more like a button, so it was like but it went straight up.

She was crazy skinny and then she would wear these like insane platform shoes and it was nuts.

She was.

She was fascinating and crazy makeup in her like really strangely like tan face, and she was just like local color essentially.

Yeah, where the rumors about her and be I mean people would say, if you went to the Dragon Lady's house and try to open the gate, you get hit with a hammer. Like there's really specific stories.

I started rumor about the Love Lady that she was a slut, but nobody it didn't catch on at all.

I just like saying it the best possible rumor. Oh and the sad part is now I'm thinking about it.

What if you were a kid in need and much like bou Radley or whatever, the Dragon Lady was there to save.

You, yes, and wanted to and kept her eye on you.

All she wanted was to have a emotional connection with a kid.

You guys, my front door is open. Is that bad? Do you think you left it open? Do you think your dog's no because it's screen doors closed. Okay, I mean, I guess let's go find out.

Well, I guess we're going to go inside Karen's house and see if there is a burglar. It's funny with this. It's just on the eels, in the gruff and someone's.

In your house, right, Yeah, I mean it was me. I was the last one out.

So if you never hear an episode from us again, there was indeed someone in the house.

He was able to overpower the three of us yet. So this might be the last episode, but probably not. Do you have anything to plug before we go get stabbed?

I don't think so, although you know, thanks for listening all this time. You know, if this is the last podcast we ever do, what a great opportunity we've had.

And I'm just going to assume that. And this is after the fact, of course. But I put up a good fight with this guy in Karen's house. I tried to save us both. He just was able to overpower me. I only weigh one hundred.

And fifty sixty you like one sixty five?

Yeah, and one sixty five? Stephen, do you have your gun? I always carried on me? Okay, Oh, yeah, yeah, he has that little pink ankle gun. You're welcome. You've been listening to Do you need to ride? D y n A R Hong Kong? Are you leaving? I?

You wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how.

Much baggage you claim.

And give us time and a turmano and gay.

We want to send you off InStyle. You want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Malborn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need a ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need with Karen and Cress m h