Flashback: In the Car with Johnny Pemberton

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage.

You claim and give us time and they terminol and gay. We want to send you off instart. Do wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about every scared or was it fine?

Mal porn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

This is Karen Tilgareth.

Karen is currently and I'm not getting crimping her eyelashes, curling them with one of those clockwork orange keep me up all night to watch horrible things so I can rehabilitate scissors. They have scissors as the handle. I have tried them before I had an older sister, and I've found that if they don't have the little rubber gasket on them, Oh yeah, they will pinch your lid to the point of bleeding.

Oh you, oh know, yeah, you print yourself.

I mean, who knows where I'd be today gender wise and pronoun wise had I not been scaryfully in the eyelid. I'm like, you know what, this drag thing isn't for me? That hurt Like hell, it.

Is hard to be a woman. We all know that, but I mean some people don't realize. My cousin, Lisa, she used to separate. She'd put on mascara and then separate her eyelashes with a needle so that it would, you know, because it was clumpy. This is a This was back in the late late seventies where there was really no advancements in female mascara, but to get very clumpy, so she'd go back over it with a needle.

People say, stick a needle in my eye because they know that will never happen because a needle is never near your eye.

However, Lisa, Lisa, who didn't mind a drug that was scary.

Yeah, that person.

Should not have stopped in the road.

You know.

I think people buy Jettas and they think, hey, I'm going to go really go for it on sunset.

Yeah.

Yeah, my dad bought me this Jetta. It's all going to be different now.

Someone did a song called all my ex girlfriends drive black Jettas. Who I can't black jettas. I don't remember dead milk. It sounds milk. It sounds milk. Many because it's about a car and.

It has a story. Yeah, there's a storyline.

It may have been. You might be right, God, I love let us know if you remember, uh.

Or if you're a dead milkman, I'd love to hear from you.

And uh, I guess this is something we should do right at the start. Karen, I don't know if you know this, but we have a sponsor for this. Oh and this is real, This is a real thing.

This isn't real.

Haha.

We're driving by Taco Bell. Taco Bell, we give you diarrhea. And do you need to write a I could have come up with a better one if Taco Bell was a real sponsor, and would I would have? Yet? You know what I'll do for money?

Yeah?

About everything? Oh yeah, but it's hard to get the motivation to look for a sponsor or. Look, you know, turn this into a business if you haven't had a decent night's sleep. But the good people at Parachute Home have given me the best sheets I think I've ever ever worn, and I wear them on my mattress. But I you kind of are wearing them as you sleep. The Parachute, and they're made in Venice, where I live. I've been wanting to look around to see if the

Nice.

And here's the thing about the stuff they sent me, it was like in a nice arrangement. I opened the box and it was like it was as if a cook at a four star restaurant had arranged everything, and it was all tied with twine, and there was a little letter handwritten that said thank you personally. It was really nice. And you know, the betting's made of one hundred percent long staple Egyptian cor.

Oh, that's the good stuff.

Hey. It's manufactured in a mill in Tuscany that sounds to Italy weaving betting for nearly eighty years. This mill, it's probably been around forever and then shipped straight to your door. And it did come right to my door. Parachute cuts out the licensing and the distribution fees so you can experience high quality betting for less. And if

Basically, that's kind of awesome.

I'm going to get those sheets right while you sleep. The only other way to get paid while you sleep is to knock out your teeth and put them under your pillow, or to be hoore, or to be some sort of a licensed hour sleeping wore.

So you've received them, I'm going to get mine and then we're gonna we're going to sleep on them, and then we're going to come back with the results.

I've I've already. They are just they feel great like a lot of times, Oh there's a man in the road, but he's limping a lot of times. You know. They people talk about thread count.

Yes, that's very important.

Apparently it isn't. It's a marketing gimmick.

Is that true?

You can read about it at parachutes blog. Uh and and they tell you about thread count not necessarily being that because I've bought high thread count sheets and they were like silk underwear or something. I thought they're going to rip. They weren't high quality.

About the cotton that you're using.

It is more about the cotton. And if you can get it out of Tuscany, come on, go to Parachute dot com.

I love it.

Mentioned ride and uh yeah.

Cool, We've got a sponsor.

I hope.

I'm so excited.

I mean, i'd like to think what I just did will entice them to, you know, continue to sponsor d Any.

I think it's pretty good. For the first time ever doing an ad, and it was pretty good.

Well, here's the thing. I wanted it to be the first commercial on our podcast to seem conversational, right. I don't think any believe it or not. And you know, because you were sitting here, I was reading all that that was not memorized, and I know it seemed like it was just coming out of my mouth, but that was all information.

Amazing. You did a pretty great job.

But they are, Yeah, they're very nice. They're very nice.

I love a nice sheet. I mean it is you know, it's all about.

That prior to this, because they look flashy. I bought some off brand at Ross. You know, don't get bedding just because it looks shiny. I got some silk or satin sheets because they were silver, and I get in bed. I slide right off the.

Other end cause they were silver.

They're so slippery. I put my head. I'm like, oh, this will keep my hair, you know, I like to put my hair up in curlers. My head just slides off the pillow. I'm risking neck injury.

Yes, don't do that.

No, you won't get that with parachute.

All right, Yeah, so beautiful, very excited. I am too. I think we're a real podcast.

Now and it feels yeah, And I'm a real grown up because I usually, you know, sheets are one of the last things I think about, but it makes such a huge difference when you're sleeping, for that comfort to be there.

Okay, I I think you've given them everything.

Well now I'm just talking on my own behalf about my sleep cycle.

We'll stop it.

Sleep cycle is also an app. You put it on your bed. They let you know when you're in rem state.

And while we're at it, what's your sleep number?

Well, you know how I like to jump on the bed while my lady friend drinks wine.

Shit, I can't go in this way.

Oh god, don't that'll.

Get me into some weird spot, won't it. Yeah? Fuckers it worse.

Nope, Nope, you're doing fine. That was how you get to Dodgers Stadium.

Guys.

We're on the five South right now and there's I mean, there's just a lot of choices because they're trying to get to Johnny Pemberton's house.

We are going to pick up Johnny Pemberton. I'm very excited to have him on the podcast. I've been wanting him on the podcast because he just is the hilarious.

He's the best.

He's a sweet guy.

And he have you seen him host with Josh Fatum that show?

I haven't.

It's the best.

Really.

Yeah he I thought he was just doing it with his voice, but he had like a little modifier and he does this whoa for his old cowboy ex country star? Oh yeah, and it took I watched the whole show. I'm like, whoever that is? He's hilarious. I didn't know it was. Johnny had sunglasses on, so I know, I know now that just hearing the tone of his voice isn't dependent on his comedy.

Well, I personally loved Johnny Pemperton because I've before I met him in real life.

I saw him in movies and.

He usually plays a kid or like a high school student or something.

He's a person that looks younger than his age.

He looks very young.

You were probably gonna.

Say people a lot like he's a fair BANX.

Yeah he's got you just don't want to get off this g D freeway g Demon Priest is Christ.

But uh, when you meet him in real life, he's incredibly intelligent and very mature.

It's not like he's like some kid like person.

He comes from.

Now we're on another family. Oh yeah, yeah, his father's a famous doctor.

His father held me I had some bowel issues. I don't want to go into detail, but it was scary what was happening. And UH talked to him on the phone. He connected me with his dad, and the dad he said, don't worry. See this guy I went to saw his friend. That guy was a doctor also.

Luckily, thank god.

And uh he.

Looked, uh looked in there and said, you're fine.

You just got some.

Fissures and fistulas, you know, stuff like that. That's what's causing the belief.

I think you have gone into detail about this.

Well you know, I wasn't gonna and then once once I go there, yeah, you're gone. Yeah once.

Sorry, I have to get back to it. It's quite to get back to where we're supposed to go.

Yes, he said, uh, take your time.

So I think I got a.

Green light here. Sorry, I'm sorry. I won't do that.

No, no, no, no anymore.

That seem kind of passive.

Uh wait, I just have to look.

This mat oh, of course.

But anyway, and he also has his own podcast called Twisting in the Wind.

I want to say, oh, do you promise me we're gonna drive on the sidewalk? Here, we're on the sidewalk, now.

Do you want to drive down the sidewalk a little bit?

Well, if we just go between those poles, I'll think you're pretty badass.

Okay, but I have to jump back on the five and then I just need to fow what my exit is and we'll be all set.

We're taking Johnny tonight to a show at the UCB Sunset, the new UCB Theater. You're also on the pro I am if I'm not mistaken. I was asked to be on it. Did you know that?

No?

And I did not reply because I'm a poor businessman. Yeah, but maybe I can get on. What if we're all on the show?

I bet you could. I do that all the time. I'm the worst.

Yeah. I actually got booked for the future a future date. WHOA, that's okay.

I think that was an undercover cop that just passed us. Yeah, well, because I was going to do a fool on U turn right in front.

Of his face right now.

They don't like that, not when you're all blatant about it. At least, Honestly, I think the police do appreciate it when you try and do things when they're not looking.

Yeah, like, just don't get us involved.

I've had enough cop stop and go. You had to do that right in front of me. I'm like, what are you talking about? Man? Can you hold this water pipe?

Cool? Man?

Hey? Cop?

Do you vape? I had a friend whose brother got pulled over.

It was five guys in a car and they were smoking a bong in the car.

This was like ten fifteen years ago.

The Arabia Brothers wonderful men, really love them, but they were doing that and a cop pulled them over.

The guy says, give me that bong.

He takes the bong back to his car, him and his partner rip some bong hits way and then they come back to the carcase. They don't do that anymore.

What city? What's this?

Uh?

I think San Diego because that's where CJ's from. It was CJ Arabia's.

Brothers like, yeah, I love that story.

And they've watched them do the bong rips.

Yes, they all thought they were getting arrested. They were like freaking.

Out, Oh, that's amazing, And.

Instead the cops are like, we'll get high too, and then let's just all walk away.

And then I wonder if cops get high and then they get paranoid and start to think that regular.

People are cops or that they're gonna turn their partners are gonna turn on them and arrest them.

Yeah, yeah, that'd be kind of awesome because that's what happens to me.

Yeah, everyone's a.

Cop, Everyone is a cop. Everyone's out to get me.

Mm hmm.

I wonder what my bank account is doing that kind of thing. I got a loose enough. Maybe it's uh, I'm hitting the sativa, I should be hitting an indica.

Well, I think though I had to do the exact same thing. I stopped smoking because everything just became very doom and gloom. It was like, uh, even I mean, I have plenty to stress out about, but even when I wasn't, like, didn't have something to actively stress out about, it was just like a no thing is that it's all bad? You know what I mean, Like it just left me. That's the paranoia part.

Yeah, and it hits you all of a sudden, like I've had a summer where I'm like, I could get into this. This is healthier than being a drunk person. Yeah, it helps you be creative, but it's pretty stifling for me to just get scared about life and my breathing, which is what happens exactly. Is this normal breathing? Is my neck closing in my esophagees?

Yep? Is this how I really die? I remember one time playing dominoes with Jeremy Kramer. Did you ever do comedy with Jeremy Kramer?

I remember Jeremy Kramer.

He's the He's the San Francisco legend. He's one of the funniest people that's ever lived.

When I met you. When I first met you and comedy was happening in a laundromat, Jeremy Kramer was there.

Oh yes, and I was.

I was with Howard Kramer, and immediately I was like, Man, this Los Angeles city is going to be confusing.

There's multiple Kramer, There's so many Kramers.

I was playing dominoes with him one time and took too many hits a pot and thought I was having a heart attack. And at one point just looked at him and said, I I think I think something's wrong.

I think I'm having a heart attack.

And he just looked at me and goes, do you want me to take you to the emergency room?

Oh?

You right know?

Oh that's terrific.

It was the perfect like, I mean, that's all.

You need is that's Yeah, That's the only thing that'll kick you out of paranoia is a con ascending tone. Yes, Oh do you want me to call the whambulence?

Yeah?

It's hard to know where we are at.

I know, well, you know what it is.

It's like Johnny lives under five different freeways.

So but we're very close. We are very close close.

Indeed, Yeah, I'm sorry, I was feeling. I was looking at the apparatus here and how's your apparati lowan battery? I thought I put in new batteries last time. Oh there's so much to remember just in life. No, I know, believe me, there's not enough time in the day.

No, there really isn't, although I do manage to lay around and do nothing and spend.

In defense of the idea, there was plenty of time today for me to buy batteries. In fact, I was at the store and I looked at the batteries and thought it would be a good idea to get those as back up.

I do that all the time, and then I think that that's the first thought. That's like, that's my responsible adult thought.

And my next thought is, well, do it later. It'll be fun later, is like the reasoning.

Yeah, yeah, because it'll be fun. Yeah, you'll be looking forward to it.

Yeah, as opposed to know you're twenty minutes late for everything. You're just adding something onto your to do list.

I'm that's me. That's me. I put things off. That's how I function.

Yeah, me too. It feels good. Just so you know. I had breakfast with Greg Barrent this morning. Oh, yes, and great, he's great. He's done with chemotherapy.

Good.

If anyone out there knows Greg Barrent, who's our a very good friend and co comedian and podcaster and one.

Of the many friends of ours with cancer currently, it's getting very frustrating that disease. But what did he say?

He wants to do our podcast?

Oh terrific.

Yeah, I'm so excited. He wants to do it very soon.

So I would love it. I would love it.

He said, you guys drive me somewhere. I said, sounds good.

Yeah, we'll take him anywhere.

Yeah. But that was nice to see him and to see him. He looks like himself, he's he seems like he's back.

Oh good.

Yeah, and he's gonna be doing sets around and stuff.

That's terrific. That makes me happy.

That's the only thing I did today was go I and I actually am doing things in my life now where it's like I'm acting, Like going and meeting people for coffee is like something to check off a list, yeah, or like I've accomplished something.

Well, as long as you have a bit of a schedule, it feels like, hey, I'm still working right.

Yeah kind of. I mean I don't know.

I miss my free time. I'm working right now, and it's it's it takes some getting used to, you know, waking up not doing the things that.

You usually do or whatever you want to do.

It's all and all these rich people always say that's like it's a Donald trumpy thing to say, just sleep less. There's this montage of like advice from Arnold Schwarzenegger that I was listening to for some reason, and one of them was like, you'll have plenty of I'm not gonna do his voice, plenty of time to sleep when you die, that's what he said. I'm like, really, that's what if

Who knows that?

You know, that guy can do whatever he wants. First of all, you know he's sleeping as much as he wants to.

He's rich. Yeah, none of the rules apply to that guy.

I think it's just talking early on and he's talking just about lifting weights.

Yeah, because if you're filled with other people's testosterone and a human growth hormone. Then yeah, you can kind of do whatever you want.

Do you think he was injecting other people's growth hormones.

I'd like to think that.

I'd like to imagine it.

I mean, I want a hero, I need a hero. I'm looking out for a hero.

I've been holding on for a hero. Cli Yeah, the night Scratcher.

All right, this is crazy, Yeah, but I think I found it.

Okay, this has been I mean a goose chase.

It's been wild.

It's also hard to look at my phone map and podcast and drive.

Yes, we our podcast comes with dangers that are specific to the what we've decided to do, which is driving a car. While it's very dangerous. I can't believe people get in with us, I know. And I'm gonna just remind Johnny we're heading to him.

Yes, yes, close close by, I think, yeah, I think so. Actually, it's so very strange. This is that part of Los Angeles. It is now called frog Town. But when I moved here and lived here for twenty years, it was never called anything.

And then I had a Frogtown. Is what this little neighborhoo coming up is?

Oh? Really? I thought it was a Legion park or some maybe it's also called frog Town.

I don't know where Lesion Park is, but this is Frogtown.

And I know because I have a hairdresser here, one of my many ladies around town.

Wow.

And it's just kind of just this strip.

Yeah, it's hard to know where we're at right now. This city is an intricate, serpentine maze of confusing pathways.

It's true.

Sometimes they're labeled south, sometimes north. Suddenly you're on Historic Route sixty six. You're in the wild West. You're on a horse, you need.

Water, you got bit by a scorpion, you got kicked the set because you because you.

Use the damn you're not You're no longer an actual cowboy. You're simply in a western movie. But we are behind Dodger Stadium, and I think, yeah, Johnny's like downtown ish right.

No, We're like, look, we're going down a bit further. And then he's right there.

Oh he's right here. Okay, See that's where I was wrong before. I mean, look, who knows where the freeway.

Was taking, who knows where the time goes? Newell, I'm going left on it, Okay, okay, great.

Anyway, I'm very excited for him to be in here. How have you been? What have you been doing? Karen?

Aside from having breakfast with a great parent, was that was one of the big ones just today, just today, Uh, let's see going to the movies a lot, and have seen our podcast front April.

Richardson, I love April ap.

And I we saw Straight out of Compton together. How was that great?

Great? Okay, I've been only told it's.

Great, it's great.

It's there's controversy because you know, it came out that doctor Dre beat the ship out of his like first girlfriend, and.

There's a lot of stuff about that which is sucks and is very sad.

But oh it's in the movie.

No, no, no, that was.

Like the controversy after the movie came out, as they never talk about this, but it's like, in my opinion, you would have to.

It's a whole different movie.

Sorry that we can't have it. The movie be four hours long?

Yeah, I mean they you know, there was plenty to cover anyway, So but it was great. I mean that aside, here's what I will say I really liked after that that there basically an article article came out saying that you know this is they they they showed themselves as being these heroes, but then there okay, uh and then they uh and but the truth is that doctor Dre beat this woman up. And days later after that article that I read, doctor Dre came out with a statement apologizing and saying.

It's not an excuse, but I was young and didn't.

Have I wasn't raised well, and i wasn't a man yet, and so I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm sorry for what I did.

Like it was this very comprehensive really for my to me. Nobody apologizes like.

That anymore, just immediately comes out and says I was wrong and I'm sorry, and it's not an excuse, but I did it.

But I've Yeah, if only our past presidents could have the you know, could act more like gangster rappers.

Yeah, or like I just think that's a very manly thing to do. Sorry, miss sure, Uh, it's very manly to go. You're right, that was a really dark time in my life, and I he basically said, like, I try every day to be a better person than who I used to be, and hopefully I'm getting better. I mean, it was very responsible, seemingly to me. Yeah, but anyway.

Especially since it was so long ago and he was. I mean that is when it comes to excuses, not that there is any for domestic when you say I was seventeen.

No, I mean it's no you hit people, but kids do.

Kids hit each other, kids do.

And when you do show like that, then you apologize. If people go this was wrong, you go, yep, it was wrong.

I mean that he didn't have to do anything. That's what most people do.

Wow, it's a little further. He's under a grapefruit tree.

We don't know what that means, Johnny. Yeah, is this a great fruit tree?

I don't know. It looks there, there's fruit there. He is outside corner. Hey, hey, hi, Johnny. We got a little turned around, got a little turned around.

We were on several freeways you did. Here's your mic Ellie is a great, big freeway.

Johnny Pemmerton, everybody. Yeah, it's so hard. It's so hard while we're because we're talking, we're trying to podcast. Meanwhile we're getting uh, we just keep getting lost.

How long have you been lost for? Oh? Oh, all our lives?

Twelve minutes.

Twelve minutes. That's not too bad.

It wasn't How are you what's up?

You know, I was just getting out of that grapefruit tree.

When you said grapefruit tree, you you acted as if everyone knows what a grapefruit tree looks like. I was not. I did not grow up in an orchard.

It is not. But usually when you see a tree that has a bunch of big yellow fruit on.

It, right, that was the giveaway. Is the actual fruit in the tree?

Okay?

I should have I should have noticed what part of town now. I thought it was a Lesion park.

Lesian Valley.

Technically it is technically technically, but have you heard heard the phrase frog town? Yes, yeah, you're a frog town.

Well it's not, it is, that's what it's called.

You smell. You smell like grapefruits.

I'm not kidding away really, because I just kicked off my foot. Oh oh god, it was decomposed.

Rinks of healthy breakfast.

Do you want to tell me the fastest way to get to the left?

Okay?

It's like uber, yeah, because they never know where they're going.

And it's amazing. I sometimes I feel the higher people like, oh, it's you never you've never driven before, driven before? Well, here's a great chance to learn how to drive. Here's your chance to learn learn on the job. Why uh, why spend that time learning to drive when you can get paid to learn to drive? Yeah, so their ad should be get paid to learn to drive with Uber.

Yeah, and everyone that you'll be picking out picking up, it's likely that they know how to drive, so they can give you tips as you korean into a wall, tips like oh my god, stop, or tips like please, where are you taking us?

I had an Uber driver that asked me to teach him how to use ways. Wow, that's pretty meta.

I don't know. We want to know who used ways so much that he was like not seeing the forest for the trees kind of thing, like like, oh, it says there's traffic in front of me when there's none, Like, but way says there's traffic right here. Yeah, no cars. It's a misformed.

Take that right.

Yeah, it's amazing how many of those guys driving professionals are not familiar with ways. They app that it saved my life.

Where has it saved your life?

I mean, it's it's got I don't know if it's saved my life, but it's got me on time too many things.

I'm tired of driving. I'm done with it.

It's pretty irritating, it is.

It is the thing.

What a shitty thing that we do as people. Yeah, like what a non human thing to engage in so regularly driving. Yeah, I think it makes bad makes us bad people agreed, they designed.

Yeah, No we aren't. We were. That would be amazing. We'd have terrible bodies, just be so awkward in the bedroom.

Big can wrap around eyes.

Wrap around eyes.

Also, it's very isolating.

Like when I get in my car, I just like I get all in my head and then I get like, well, like we're saying like running through problems.

Right, it makes me in a way that I don't like feeling that way. Yeah, it's like I wouldn't talk to this person that way if I saw him in the street. But I'm being exactly person of a stranger.

Yeah.

Really, it's like if we we saw each other, we probably make up and cry and like I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry too, Why did I do that?

Why did I call you?

Oh my god. We're just people, we're just trying. We're just in the simulation together.

It's all simulation.

It is. It probably is right, and I think they're pretty much proven to probably.

A simulation that we're living in a Truman Show situation.

Well that's like that, not like so much human orchestrated simulation, but probably some sort of advanced this as beings or or future us has created a similous asshole.

Look at that guy guzzler, And that's something you probably wouldn't say that, that Couza.

Smashing asshole if I had no I got a car alarms know what, you stupid seagus, get that fucking car alarm off, I do have a car.

I knew he was a West Coast seaguzzler.

My freaking jack.

I think, uh, the idea of it being a simulation makes me feel so much better about my tax problem.

Yeah, yeah, because it's.

Really not real.

Right, It's not real.

There's money, right, I mean that's I read some book that said that's what I should think about money. Just remember it's not real.

Yeah, we're just all where globs of cells and atoms just being hurled through a universe that may or may not be here, right, right? Am I right about that?

I love it?

Am I right?

Ladies, ladies back me up, and men take a breather in this universe.

Yeah?

Yeah, man, you want to take a back seat. This next Ladies, Ladies of the chorus. This go around the lady's voices out there.

Johnny, can we talk for one second about the character that you did at the Echoes Under Sunset show.

I saw you where Johnny was the lead singer.

He's really a dentist. Oh that's what he does for a living.

He's a dentist.

A divorce and he also was he.

Was promoting the Van Eyes Blues FESTIV losing on Barbecue Fest.

Daniel Vans losing Barbecue Fest and it's just a real fest or just when they I mean, you know, monopoly is actually there, probably is.

Probably it seemed very real.

Yeah, I mean I grew up with those kind of ship festivals. That's all we had, was.

Just but he had a lot of barbecue sauce on his face because he had just enjoyed some ribs and he was just telling everybody about the blues.

Fest and then you sing a riffed blue.

Song, Yeah, sing a blue song. He just was one of those kind of kind of those dads. You know, it's conservative Midwestern dads, a lot of money to buy like expensive guitars that don't get played. That's just how I grew up with everyone. That's the people I grew up with. Yeah, people who are going on to the blues fest. It's gonna be I have a couple of beers, might get a little crazy down there. Cocoa Taylor. They flew her in, probably pay her paid forty grand and

Robert Cray was the other Robert.

I was trying to think of his name. That's who my mom always saw at the top had exactly. I can't believe you pulled Robert Cray out. That's who my mom always she loved Robert Cray.

Robert Cray is the best worst. He is the worst. He is like everything the blues wanted to not be, but so good at it at the same time.

Really, he's been around for a while.

Is he is he a blues guitarist?

He's a blues guitarist. Does he is? He's really good?

Does he make faces? I like how blues guitarists make faces, the face as you would make while masturbating. He goes guitar. Yeah, you gotta feel it. The you gotta wins, well, you gotta wins while smiling when that note hits where it needs to be.

There's a Steve I video called Tender Surrender from some time in the nineties. He is dripping and sweat. His guitar has like a it's very much a custom personal guitar, but he it's like six minutes of it's the most it should be flagged for inappropriate. It's on YouTube, you can watch it. But it's so sensual. He is masturbating

Henry was pals with Johnny Lang that who's like a young blues yeah yeah ship, and we went we were on the road somewhere it's like ten years ago, and we went to a concert and he was making those faces. But he's young and he and he had but he had an old guitar, so to me it was very pedophilix. He was like making love to this old guitar's Yeah, and then someone had played like and then he go with his mouth go like singing along to it. Yeah, they sing along to guitars.

I think that's the thing that happens if you've been playing an instrument for about about four or five years, you realize this intonation that happens. What you know, you can probably do this Karen right, You can sing what you play pretty much perfectly, but you get that you look at the intonation, and when you first learn that

It's actually the Blues are kind of super nerdy, and I think everyone's scared to say that, oh yeah, because that kind of stuff, like what you just described of someone like basically scatting with a guitar embarrasses me so bad.

I think about watching.

Unless it's on stage and it's part of a show, I can watch it. But if You're at a party and it could be the most talented person in the world if they start playing guitar and singing along to the guitar, which I've seen in Austin. That's every other party in Austin. Someone's playing Hackey Sack and their friend is singing along to the guitar. I get really uncomfortable, and maybe it's something about me, Maybe it's something.

It's like improv.

Yeah, I get really uncomfortable when I watch improv, like bad improv.

Bad improv is That's how That's how Christ was actually crucified. It was a forced spat in an improv show that was going south immediately and he just that's how they Christ died. For our sins, Our sins are learning improv.

Are several suggestions, but also I think it's the vulnerability of that people being so happy to be that vulnerable, whereas comedians that's the last thing we want to do, like that kind of like, hey, let's just see if I do good everybody.

Yeah, I wish that's how I still felt when I did stand up. But I do not want that. I want the variable to be I don't want yeah, yeah, I want that to be The one thing I know is that I have control over the situation to not be variable.

Yeah, I'll let go. I'm been letting go a lot that.

Yeah.

Yeah on stage, Yeah, I just don't care.

Well, you're always you've been in and uh, we both share this quality. I'm gonna call it a quality. We're very loosey goosey on stage. Yeah, loose is a goose you are, I've seen you.

I mean, I'm like a gander up there.

You are, like you're just like looking for a pond or maybe not. Maybe just lead your children across a busy road.

Maybe I'll do a touch and go. You thought I was landing on that pond. Nope, Oh he's out just testing the water with my goose feet.

Maybe you'll find a big chunk of bread and hang out for a while.

Yeah, he's eating that really disgusting way when you choke it back and grab it and you throw your head forward to get down the gullet.

Yeah, it looks there. It looks so painful. When geese eat just sideways bread.

You can tell they have an eating disorder of some kind.

So many geese binge and perch and yeah.

Those gizzard stones a couple of gizzard stones along the way.

Those are some some sort of a stomach within a bird that helps him eat rocks.

And birds they eat a rock, a couple of rocks.

Yeah, those are the gizzard. It helps pulverize the one of the My dad the only time he ever went to the hospital. I think maybe he didn't, but he thought he was dying, and he's ignored actual signs of health problems. He ate a bunch of almonds and like a whole bag of him like it was. It was a time where he's single. I think he just I could make I could make dinner. I could eat those bag of nuts. And they bound up inside him to

A gizzard like that.

There was it was some sort of a gizzard and nuts get caught in there, and is it a spleen. Maybe it's a spleen.

You can lose your spleen, right.

You're right.

I think the food doesn't through, but it filters things. And I think that sometimes there's nuts in your blood special occasion, I would say no, But what if you're on a roller coaster and you're really being jostled.

About, maybe like on the gravitron or something.

That was the part of the story I left out. As my dad was at the state fair all day.

He was just on.

My dad used to always have a bag of almonds in his hand and he offered them, shake them at you, to offer them to you, and then go Nature's candy.

Wow and that dad. Yeah, yeah, porks dipped in merks cheddar cheese. This was back when he was This is pre pre Atkins, but this was an Atkins diet. Oh they no carb diet.

Wait, your dad invented the Atkins diet. It sounds like.

Really fat he was. I think it was called the Tea factor diet. But this he lost a bunch of weight. And part of that was that way was eating hot dogs, no buns, and a lot of pork rindes dipped in cheese.

Wow.

Yeah, you go protein.

Yeah, you can ever found to do.

That because your dad's a male clinic, isn't he a MAO clinic like a surgeon.

He's a surgeon.

I talked to him on the phone once, John, Yeah, I recommend I was having some bleeding issues and I mentioned he's already at the top of the shell. But as Dad was very he was calming. He gave me some information. He led me to one of his friends who works here in Los Angeles. I went, and that guy stuck his whole arm in my button numerous times, sometimes just in front of his golf buddies. But he no, come on, they were doctors. A lot of people were in the room though, I don't know.

Yeah, I had that experience one time where I went in and I had a procto, you know, just checking and just checking out the zone down there.

Sure, yeah, you gotta check the zone out.

There was this woman who was must I think she was an intern. She was you know, probably like in her like late twenties, like your age, yeah, yeah, my age, but just stunningly beautiful with my doctor. And I was like, oh, great, here we go. Let's just like I met her literally twenty seconds prior to that, and now I'm just taking my pants off and having doctor uh, doctor Phil. His name's I didn't like to say his last name, but his name is Phil. But he just went ahead and did.

That real fast, and just was that's so funny. The last time I went in to get a camera in my ureth throw opening which it is your pepe hole, very painful, I bid on the bill of my hat and U some local aesthetic. But just the guy took he was with another patient for like twenty minutes. I knew it had worn't off. I'm like my people, it feels normal, normal again, Please don't go in there. But he went in and cut out a tumor or something. I was fine, I was benign. I feel great today.

You call it the taint, right, it was called the peraneum.

Yeah, she just had a bird's eye or my peraneum and oh god, it was get.

A photo for that. Definitely idiot.

Yeah, he wouldn't say that if we were in the car right now. Actually, that guy was an idiot. He had shave side squirrel like a guru religion that does not exist.

He also looked like skinny fat jew. There you go. We decided we weren't going to say that name because it is kind of you really.

Feel like that whole thing is kind of an excuse for certain people to say.

The word fat jewy for real, do you guys remember because he is famous for having Twitter followers, wasn't it somewhere in like three million or something that guy? Yeah, they're fat two guys.

Hey, he's Instagram guy.

His Twitter thing is not that Okay.

His Twitter game is weak.

Okay, yeah yeah, because that it's hard to just I guess actually it would be easy to cut and pace words. But yeah, I know what I see is down to two hundred thousand. I'm like, well, that's no longer that thing was.

That's all those things where the story isn't the story is the thing?

Yeah, it's it's not a story. The story is that it's a story, right, nothing exists. Yeah, The whole story is, here's this guy. His name is hard to say because it's offensive, and he stole the end.

It's a black hole, is the only The additional is just he started making serious money off of the steel.

That's when people care.

That's when people step up.

Yeah, which makes sense.

I mean like because you can catch people and get people here and there, but people will.

Just be like, hey man, but this is like literally building a career.

It's hilarious that stuff always you always get the piper always comes to take his payments. You know. That's saying, yeah, it comes for his payment. Eventually, the piper knocks long enough timeline, we all exist for no time or something.

Yeah, no, no, it's a long staying and we never hear it in its entirety. But the piper comes to pay the rooster. And we're only here for a little while.

We're only here for a little while. Yeah, it sounds like George Carlin, right.

I wish I wish I could sound like we're only here for a little while. Oh, and it's nice to be here.

But the thing, I'm gonna wrap it up, and yes, and I love you here we are by what are you gonna do?

It Tonight's comedy concept. I don't know, man, are you gonna it? Sounds like you're gonna be loosey goosey.

I actually, you know, I'm trying to lock some stuff down because I'm doing this show on Tuesday that I'm gonna record for an album. Oh that's great. Hey, where are you doing that at the Nerd Melt?

Oh?

Everyone, I didn't I knew you were doing it presents Nerd Melt Comedy Johnny Pemberton out. I think that's what it's called exactly.

I'm trying to milk it for all it's worth in the audio.

That's great, good idea. So you're gonna have a comedy album.

Maybe I think I'm gonna have some comedy album. I'm planning on a only taking a little part of it because I don't want to put the kind of pressure on myself. God forbid, I should put pressure on myself.

Stand up, no one, No one's gonna yeah, no one's gonna know this.

Uh.

If it's a compilation of shows that becomes your whole album, that's what everyone doesn't realize it. You could you could record ten times, compile it together, and it'll just be a novelty. It doesn't need to be all at once. What do you think?

What do you think you're gonna name that album? Johnny ideas?

I mean, I've probably thought in the past couple of years the names for over a thousand different albums. Let's want to think about I kind of thought about the words hybrid vigor, but that has nothing to do with anything in my stand up. Just a phrase that I like. Yeah, like that has to do with plants that are hybridized and they have they grow much better because of something called vigor. Yeah, I just think it's a funny phenomenon. All the other ones I thought of were just really

You never know the Great Fruit Tree.

I was told by the label to just name my album Fairbanks, right. They just said, your name is good enough of a name. But I the title I was going to go with was something I just said during the show, which was I got mad at them for clapping at a joke I don't like, and I said, look at me being disappointed with your enjoyment, And I thought disappointed with your enjoyment would have been a good title, and I was going to go with it, so it

You can you can look out for something that you say during Yeah, that's a good idea.

Yeah, and towards when you're listening, be like, yep, that was a fun moment. I'm naming it that.

How about ship dogs in a diynamite field.

Well, maybe just say that during the show, if there's a place for you to say that. I wouldn't just blurt it as a nine sequitor, because you've then planned to call it that. That's working backwards.

I thought about calling it the whatever, the spectrum of sound, sound, the frequency of the human voice, the sound range of that.

Just call it that whatever that's called.

I think it's like fifty her as low as you can go, and then like whatever. I don't know.

Well, yeah, why don't you call it the frequency of the human sound sound?

Jesus Christ, you.

Call it person, I'll call it death in a crosswalk?

How about this?

I left my child in a hot cart. I left my child in my car. In the summer in Texas, people be running to grab that, and he's here.

With me tonight.

I hold it with me every day.

And still I've come here to tell you jokes and you're just you're holding a melted candle.

Ye.

Oh god, no, actually I do think.

Of a not funny. It happens in real life. I apologize to you and the fat That's.

Why it's funny, because it's so terrible.

It's like city buses, the hooligans of the streets. Oh did you need us to.

Stop late for your soccer game?

Oh sorry, mister bus driver. The guy that works for the city, bullies of the city.

That's what bull disrespectful trends.

Yeah, I know, I respects.

There's not that much of it.

They're up there with our neighborhood. Oh yeah, I'm gonna tell you something that you don't that often. It's changed.

Its changed.

That's why I'm so tired of people saying, I know, man, this neighborhoods changed. Oh really, what was I supposed to do?

Is the word hipster? Is the word hipster about to come up? Because I'm going to plug my ears.

This neighborhood used to be uh different in a different way than it is now. Actually, to that place that's there. It wasn't there before. U. I fucking hate this place. That thing with things change over time. God damn it. I hate they know about me. I think they know about me that I used to live here and would like to reference this place to people who don't care.

Why the situations always have to evolve?

Why does time have to progress? Why? God damn it. I was trying to do something here. I had a thing going, and time started, you know, the march of time carried on, And now there's a fucking CBS. Oh great, this neighborhood used to be hip. Now there's a CVS.

It used to be a good neighborhood back when I was thirty. Now you know what's wrong with this neighborhood. Now I'm forty.

I'm forty.

My cousin's wife, my cousin, and my sister all live in my hometown, and we all still call all the buildings what they were when we were growing up. So there's like a restaurant that we called Tuttles, which used to be the drug store. The restaurant is now in like we we reference things as if the town is still in nineteen eighty one, right, and it drives her insane because she knows it as what it is now. So we'll be like over the one over at Tuttles

Yeah.

If I there's been a place in Missoula, Montana called the Iron Horse that's been there most of my life, probably thirty years. But I still call it a hamburger Ace because there was a hamburger Ace there. That's where everyone went to fight. And uh yeah yeah, oh you go to hamburger Ace to fight after school. Yeah, just other schools you zoom, Yeah, your school against their.

School, like like whole groups of kids fighting.

Yeah, oh, entire large groups fighting wearing batting gloves. Maja at hamburger Ace, five cars show up, another five cars show up, and then everyone starts punching each other. Shit, I've ever so underrated, Johnny.

Yeah, I believe it probably is.

I all I know is getting punched in the face isn't as bad as you think. That's the only wisdom.

Well, they usually don't land, right, Like if people are trying to hit you, they're all freaked out themselves.

I've led punches, hit me right in the center of the nose and I was still able to keep talking.

But I wasn't.

These were kids, you know, a grown up Now what people do with the m m a and uh the jaw and just being larger than people are in Montana, no one's over five nine. I don't know what it is. I moved to Texas and I'm like, oh, everyone would kill me if I got punched. Hears Chris, are you coming in out here.

A big old boy?

You don't want to meet me at the Hamburger Race.

Don't give me back that cocaine I sold you?

Oh God, you're you are bringing back a specific memory.

Yep.

I bought some ratty powder down there on Sixth Street, and I was right near the velvet room and all the goddamn did I grabbed too much and I didn't pay the man.

You know you, Rob Anderson? Rob right, m hm you guys lid you live there at the same time?

No, okay, but I worked with Robby Anderson on Whitney Come in Show Loft. I just ate breakfast with him the other day.

I didn't even live there, and I always think I did. I did not live there at the same time as Howard Kramer Chip Pope either. They had left. They used to visit all the time, but they were already l A superstarsstin stories. Yep, that was It's you can watch it on YouTube.

Howard Chip Hope, I saw ever in Los Angeles.

Laura House.

Laura House too.

Yep, me too. I was just sharing with Sharon McCarron. That's what we were going to call this podcast.

Thank god we didn't.

I have a story for my friend.

Her name is Garen. Thank god we didn't.

Yeah, let's call that call that you're al I wish I hadn't.

Thank god we did it.

That is good.

I didn't think about it's a candle with hair, which is a splinterism for handle with care.

Well, that brings us back to the melted baby in the car.

Right you first said that, I didn't say speak up.

Yeah, Oh wow, you're you're gonna be like you and my brain?

How did you know that collective consciousness? Wait?

Why did you bring up Rob Anderson?

Sorry, because he used to live in Austin and I know he used to get down with some some crazy ship as you know.

Yeah, it's it's easy too, It's easy to get caught up there.

I think they've they've got a nice underbelly there.

Yeah, it's just easy access to it. Yeah, it's not a dark underbelly. It's like a well lit, easy to access underbelly.

It's kind of an option.

And the whole city there is geared around having fun and find people drink. They have beers in their offices, you work at and and everyone is uh waking up like that, isn't that funny? No one expects that we are done partying at one thirty, go to bed.

It's crazy. Uh, Austin's crazy or else just fucking crazy. It's like crazy cities.

Yeah, I imagine anywhere in Florida.

Winnipeg's insane? Really was it?

All?

Right?

Well we drink all that one, let's go sit down for at.

Let's call him down now, Well, let's see what your mom's up to.

Of course, call he over.

Okay, well it's been an hour, let's check it on mom. I guess I'll talk in one more of these Bullson's and then I be off to bed. What if you stay up when the sun's not up, you're liable to something.

Bad to happen.

There were a lot of very soft spoken men that were actively listening to me in Winnipeg, which was very I was like, this is great.

I love it.

Like a waiter who would be like, uh, I can't really explain it. It's just like people who are just like wanted to know.

What you had to say.

Doesn't that feel great?

It's pretty great.

Certain cities, Oh.

Yeah, I would you like to talk about it gets cold though.

Yes, it does get cold.

We manage, yeah, we're all I really want to go to Winnipeg now.

It's pretty great. I really liked it. But it is the second coldest city in the world. Someone told me, I believe that.

I guess, yeah, yeah, you would think it would have to be way up north, maybe.

A city of the certain size it is, because like there's certain places that are just so cold. They're not cities because.

Yeah, yeah, that's the reasons there, and they're just an area.

Yeah, we can't do a city here, guys. It's till you try to do a city.

But there aren't enough mittens in the world. Guys, let's call it.

Let's keep this a township.

Let's just keep on moving down the path.

We're calling it right calling officially. The time is sixty hundred hours. This is not a city.

I tried to settle this. We're gonna keep on moving.

We're gonna head west towards the heat Lamp. I gotta get to Miami.

Do they still call the sun of heat lamp in Canada?

That's like an inside joke comedy to them.

I'm hungry all the time, are you?

Are you hungry right now?

Of course, of course you are.

What's your favorite snack, Johnny?

Oh god?

Chips? Yeah? I love chips.

What about just chips and salts like a regular? Yeah?

Me too, you bet, I need to have a flavored chips. Cheetos are really good.

I love Cheetos, but like hockey or Crunchy Crunchy always like the small ones.

They have the most dust.

I want to get dust. I want to be elbows deep and dust.

I think I may be hungover. I'm hungover. I like, it's just I have this insatiable thirst and hunger being a junkie or something. But for nothing.

Yeah, where's the fun. Where's the fun in this?

I've been drinking a whole lot lately, but I did drink a couple of beers last night. Oh some uh No. I had a couple of these beers a coming called I have one of the best brides I've had in many years from the Strand, which is a brewery I think in someplace in the east of La Torrance is in Torrance. That's just stout. It was really good. I

Beers. That's what I'm not a big beer guy. It knocks me out, what happened.

I also drank a bottle of wine, Oh dak, a nice bottle, a white of Sauvignon blanc. God, that good sav black God.

Just just you describing it. I can almost u Yeah, the refreshing, the refreshing came to mind, grassy greene apple, just like anol with an unknown shooter. That's how I like my wine.

Wait, now, is mixing wine and beer fine?

I think everything's fine?

That's not no. There are all these things like liquor then beer never sicker beer before liquor. You're in the clear. Whatever, it's there. All you have to do is be a drunk beer. To do is practice with all these things. Oh, I see, the thing that will get you hungover is the damn sugar.

The sugar and the three Wiseman shot you did at two at the closing of the bar. That'll do to you.

What's that'll never do again?

I think it's a shot of Jack Jose Quervo and some other man's name was a liquor Damn McNeil, McNeil.

Brand single more, I should be single, more available, Captain Margans.

Probably that's probably Captain Jack, and hold them and it's just guaranteed to make you vomit.

Captain Jack, I'll get you high to night. Right, that's what that song is about. It's one two thirds of that drink crap and snaps.

Crappers.

I do love whiskey though that was my drink. I mean the it's the effects are a plus.

Yeah, they really work. Whiskey words.

Guy, you're what guy? I'm woring of stones rolling stones?

Oh the guy got.

Confused talking about music? Sorry?

Oh sorry, sorry, I'm drying now are talking about liquor?

Ah, they're talking about music? Sorry? Where I mean where I'd have a Mazda.

Here's the place.

Yeah, yeah, we're definitely here. We've been here.

Are you guys worried about the I mean, here's the time right now? It's eight twelve. Yeah, are you guys nervous about?

Sound check? Is at a thirty? Starts at nine?

Oh I thought it started at eight?

No, guye we know I made him.

I made you drink of it because I said, I'm about to relax right now.

Yeah, yeah, we can take it easy, kick.

I've got to a show on time the other night, only for it to start almost an hour and something out.

I don't like it when that happened.

That's such a bummer.

I think I'm officially done with that. It's the last time I'm going to do that on time. No. Now, if I'm on time, I thought starting like, okay, I'm gonna leave now, yeah, because because fuck you, yep, I do that too.

If I'm on time, I'm like, I gotta go, and I just I'll just go somewhere and walk around. I don't like being on time.

I really hate being on time, and I know it's because it's my diva ish personality where I don't.

Want to be the one waiting. I want someone else to wait for me.

Well, sometimes if you're the one on time, you go up first. If it's one of these shows where everyone's an equal, I like going up third.

A third, I love going up first. Oh first, Really, I think it's on the best spots you can do.

Boy, I just disagree with you. Really, I'll second.

I'll tell you second's good, But first is great because it's like you can do whatever you want.

But the crowds, now, they're not warm. There's no way around that. Well, yeah, you're sacrificing the first half of your set to warm them up.

Now, my set is warm up. How do you know?

How do you warm them up?

Right, charastenics? Physical?

Oh you do actual exercise?

Yeah, I get in them. I get down here, get going under the chair, yep, you know, like force someone to move really nicely.

Yeah, just really get in there. I suppose. Yeah, if you got them to get up and walk around and actually warm up their bodies, that would help.

Yeah, then it's on them.

It's totally on them. Oh, you know why you're not enjoying. You're lazy.

You know what's better than you know, it's always worse than first?

What last?

Last? Last?

Is the worst.

I think last in Los Angeles when it's clearly not you're not the quote unquote headliner, right, that lot of people that like, all right, your headliner tonight. Yeah, I mean the guy who's going up last.

Yeah, we've seen everyone's left, everyone's drunk, everyone screamed at the top of their.

Lungs for an hour.

I think last, it's the first first, it's the second last.

It happens to us a lot because we're music act, which I don't blame anybody for.

It's like the.

Breakdown, so we go last, but it's like we just go out there and there's just it's like getting to a party late and going over.

To the buffet.

It's just like, oh, there's some old salami. Maybe you'll find some cookies from Trader Joe's that weren't open. This metaphor is very extended.

But the Pickens, Yeah.

It's it's pickens.

And it's people that are like, there's nothing worse than comedy fatigue, where they're kind of like they wish.

They could laugh and they just can't do it because they've even milked.

Do you feel like you're going last tonight? Either you I get last.

I don't think I'm gonna go last. I've now lately, I just basically I've been speaking my mind. M Yeah, here's what I want.

It works great?

Do you say it like that?

People?

When I want, If you can make that happen for me, I would love it perfect you can't. I won't complain.

It's you're doing the right thing. Everyone wants to hear what you want.

You always.

I always just think people know what I want, They're not going to give it to me. I have an argument, nothing has happened. I argue with them about it, we make up, and then I take my spot, and none of that has actually happened. It's all in my brain.

That is a weird thing that people do that I do too, is have the have the pre argument. You've already decided the situation will be worthy of a fucking argument, and you argue the situation, the thing happens, and nothing happens. Whats whoever? Slightly antagonistic is like the most calm thing ever.

I do it so often, and I do it in a way where it it makes me act weird in a way that really can't be explained or faked out, you know what I mean? Like when you're expecting a certain exchange you've prepared for very specific.

It's bad magic what it is, that's right.

Yeah, it's like this magic. It's a negative magic. It's negative, the magic of negativity.

You're shutting down the impossibilities.

Yeah, you're you're creating an outcome you don't want by imagining it happening. As opposed to the opposite, we're like, oh, it's gonna be great when when Sharon takes me up and she's super happy because we love each other and there's this new dog that's going to be there. Yeah.

I do that.

I do that with and we've talked about this. I do that with with bad things. I just if you think the worst, what are the chances it's also gonna happen?

You're manifesting it.

Yeah, that's what a lot of people think. I think I'm canceling it out.

Well, I think I think it's different for me. I think like, when I think about how I'm going to die, Like I imagine the scenario of death, it's gonna approaching eminently sure, And I feel like that is canceling out that because I kind of think that if there's any sort of malicious aspect of the universe. It definitely wants to surprise you, right right, it's not able to surprise you. It's like, well, I guess I'll try someone else. Because this guy, he knew what was coming.

He got ahead of it.

You already put together the combination of trampoline and jet pack.

Yeah, he called my he figured out my my very intricate way of killing him in this moment.

The universe has an intricate plan for all of our demises.

Yeah, So if you think about it all the time, the way which you'll die. Yeah, Like, anytime I get into a fifteen pass van, I'm like, this is it how you die?

Guy?

And this shitty fucking he's a crap rat trap.

Of a van and you see it rolling, just rolling down the mountain.

That's why it made me so sad during the Tracy Morgan thing. The that was it's like, that's such a real horrible way to go. Yeah, that was a limo. Yeah, well it was fifteen You weren't thinking about that.

They were having some good times.

You're away pass, you think about it, You're like, oh, I'm dying on the way to set super.

Like a super shuttle or a white one of those white vans.

I always think about it on set, like you feel like because that's what they show you around on you know, like yeah, yeah, there's those those driven by some union guy who like makes nasty comments about some pia's legs.

So you just and you think the van's gonna tip over just at the studio, just.

So the guy will like look left when she'll be looking right, and some cement truck will just destroy.

Us all, like just just two union guys carrening into each other.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, and also that would be like, that's the perfect when you're you've got a job, you're like on set, it's.

Supposed to be ideal. That's what's when it's gonna happen.

Exactly.

It's the perfect anticipation.

There's no way of knowing when it's gonna happen. That's not healthy to eat. That woman right there is one hundred and twelve. Look at her.

That's an ancient right there.

Yeah, she thought she was gonna die in a Corvette racking in her thirties.

Should we yell at her like move on, you ruined this neighbor, but whole asshole, So tired of you people coming here, this neighbor, get out of here.

Used to be cool. This old bag shopping on a Sunday night. It's old.

Oh so oh god, I guess I should pull in here right, let's do it.

This is where my car is too. Okay, Oh oh that's okay. Did you did you listen to the last episode? My mouth honk was pretty good. It sounded like a semi truck. Let's do it. Then listen to it again. Oh it's our sign off Johnny.

You guys, thank you for doing that.

Yeah, thanks a lot. Sorry we are kind of late, but at least I know where you live now, and I know what a grapefruit looks like. And uh, you guys go in and have yourself an amazing comedy concert.

Well, listen to podcast Twisting.

And Twisting anything else you want to twisting the wind on the Pail Audio Network. I'm gonna listen to Pemberton. There's anything else you got commed?

You know, I just dates and stuff going on. I'll be in Australia November with Duncan Trussell and that's gonna.

Be Oh that sounds great. Hi, Well we literally have we're being pulled from the car. You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D u I n aar.

I did.

This has been an exactly right production produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi.

Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar podcast.

For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com. Thank you, Oh You're welcome