Flashback: In the Car with Jake Weisman

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim, and give us time and a termino and gay. We want to send you off in style.

Do you wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it?

We scared her? Was it fine? Malcorn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Ride?

Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks and this is Karen Coilgaroff.

We're driving it.

I'm just gonna go ahead and say right away today Jake Wiseman's on the show, but not yet.

We're going to his house.

That's right, we're en route.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, it.

Depends on if you grew up in one of those towns that.

Where it said Choppe, right, like a French town in Missoula, Montana.

We had the medicine Chope, so I was.

We had that Pedalmo that was a franchise.

Soul was yeah, turn it.

I thought it was something I always I never went in there, but I.

Assumed we had a beat and I was gonna say, description, did you not go in there because you weren't fluent?

Yeah?

I mean I just visited Montreal, but I didn't.

Pick up a Civa play. Can I have some ask for Oh? I just learned things you say in the strip club. You've been to strip clubs and Montreal.

Right.

I woke up five minutes before these guys arrived in my house because we're doing this oddly in the morning, so that we could so that we could fit Jake Wiseman in because we wanted him to be on the show.

Plus, I like the challenge. You know, I have a brain that doesn't start till five PM. I like to light a fire under my ass.

Let's see you.

No, you know, if it was after five pm, I probably wouldn't have opened up with that strip club character. We would have missed out on that shocking reveal, that amazing Chad Daniels night. Chad Daniels is a very good comedian. He and I went to some eyes wide shot clown party.

Did I tell you about that?

I don't know.

It was these Trappis artists clowns, and they invited us to a party and they picked his pocket while we were dancing with him, and then by your strings. Every story I've told, every story I'm dry.

Yeah, it's good. You start over, make new memories.

Yes, I uh yeah, it's time to start living life.

Yeah.

Really, get out there, really get those anecdotes going around the neighborhood.

What if we are antidotes?

Because I've poisoned everybody and you can.

You can choose her to save you run around giving anidotes.

Oh, God, wouldn't that. That's that's freedom. Yeah, just being in control.

Let's freedom over others' lives.

Yeah, especially your neighbors. Don't get me started. I'm actually gonna have the same neighbors. I'm moving, Yeah, and forty feet away. I get to hand move. Oh you're moving just to a different apartment in the same complex.

Yes, that's nice. My loansome.

That's very convenient.

Gonna have an office, I start doing office things.

That's great. Better, get to tie in a short sleeved, white button down shirt.

Wile cabinet secretary. That gives me a little guff.

You're getting a secretary.

I should? I think I should. It's time that I get a secretary.

The Stephen reymore snorting in the backseat.

How are you.

You're more bearded than you usually are, Steven.

I'm just keeping it to my winter pelt. And yeah, I'm super excited to embrace the winter in La.

It's very fluffy.

Yes, thank you, I've been I've been fluffing it out. It's good.

Do you look like you should be in my morning jacket?

You look like you should be in my pajama pocket like a cute little mouse.

What a lovely compliment.

Even wake up and his hands are on my pocket like a little blank.

Oh my god.

There's a fan of our podcast that go that her handle is Chelsea makes and she sent me a tiny dining room set that I get to assemble and polish or I'm going to stand it and stain it, and she lack it and make it look like a real damn.

Piece of furniture. That's amazing.

It's a kit and it came like, uh, with instructions and everything.

You know what. We need a po box so that people can send us to other stuff.

You are on my favorite murder talk about your enjoyment of many worlds.

Yes, Georgia is obsessed.

Okay, I am too. That's something or.

A nice share Yeah, okay, yeah, and that who made that?

My favorite murder room.

Oh, these two women, it's unbelievable. In San Diego. I wish my name their names off hands. Stephen is falling up their names. This is the beauty of the crossover, Steven Hell yeah.

School teachers, yes soak Lynn Lynn and.

Kristin Lynn and Kristen made them for us and basically for those of you listening to do you need to Ride that don't know about this. They basically put a miniature version of Georgia's podloft where we record the other podcasts in like a fish tank, but it's all to scale exactly the way the room looks based on things we've done diorama.

Yes, yeah, yes, it's amazing.

I did want in a shoe box with ze Bleeze. He was a Zebelee from New Zealand. Oh New Zebeland. Sorry, did you do you remember ze Bleeze?

I think I'm too old.

They're little furry balls with little adhesive feet. You got little antenna yah yeah yeah and little googly.

I didn't know they had names.

At Paxon Elementary, they would hide them throughout the school and it was I remember every day of being excited to find them.

It was just a little detail that my school did.

That's so cute, other than give us poison and make sure we didn't get cavities right, And yeah, it was really cute.

And then I did a little guy on a porch once.

I've always been so it was like little front steps and little handrail and he's sitting there and he had a cane and a little Irish hat. Even I didn't do any research on New Zealand. I just assumed it was part of Ireland.

It's okay, and he was green.

I really, you know, not saying I was a smart kid, but I zoomed in on the MFM.

Do you ever do that? Call it MFM times?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, and it's details because I was looking for a do you need a ride reference?

It's okay that there wasn't one. I'm okay with that.

Yeah. I try to keep the cast, try to keep them separate because of the war game Wars.

Yeah, yeah, you know, I think we all learned from what happened to Tupac well.

But now all these worlds have collided and the exactly right network.

And we both are West Coast podcast.

That's right, we don't have any real beef with each other. No, we've got to come together to fight the East Coast.

How exciting. I'll just talk about your other podcast. Was it to have Conan on?

Was that it was amazing?

Yeah, he seems like he's really terrific.

Well, and I had no idea he is a huge true crime fan, so he had started his own podcast.

I didn't know that.

I taped a special in Portland and a lot of Murner Renos and dine Renos, let's not call them.

Just because of the lawsuits.

Listen, Yeah, there's so much trademarking.

I didn't even know about our rivalry. Now that lawyers are involved, it's over. But I yeah, it went well. I was only afraid I would mess it up. And I don't think I messed it up.

No.

From what I hear my people, my Portland people on the ground that you not only didn't mess it up, it was amazing.

Were they the ones in the balcony with walkie talkies, yes.

And talking into their cuffs about how the Eagle had done his first set?

Yes?

Yeah, yes, I had all my people in place.

Well, they did a great job, laughing while working okay, good.

Yeah, it was very fun.

It's so green.

It's been raining in Los Angeles for days now.

Yes, I love it.

It is.

How do you feel I about it?

Speaking in an Irish accent and cutting open soap and smelling it.

Oh, look at those dogs, I doggies.

They're two different dogs completely, but their friends.

Yes, one is small and one is over white.

Oh. Dogs. We're going to take a left in two more blocks.

Okay, So where that suspicious man is spitting on a hydrant?

Nope, actually passed him. Okay, we'll just wait here. Yeah, keep those hazards on, like a what's that called a metrodome? Metronome? Metronome? What's a metrodome?

You made it up.

That's just a city facility where they have fights tonight at the metrodome.

Mike Tyson, Oh, look at her. She's dressed like a ballerina.

And she almost balleted right onto the hood of that car. I'm not into boxing necessarily.

Well, you know, it's funny.

It's from a distance, boxing just seems like two people beating each other up. And then when you know that, like the combinations, you know what they're doing, or at least what they're trying to do.

It's fascinating.

Yeah, but you really it's the difference is huge when you do know and don't know.

I learned to appreciate boxing now that Emma, Ma, Now that is a bigger sport and everyone it's just a lot of holding people down judo. It's like, who wants to watch, amma five minutes of this guy's arm being compromised while another man's balls.

Are on his face.

Well, I honestly think that's part of it.

I think that Mma, there is a homeoerotic aspect that's very permissive.

People can watch that, and it's just like they just kind of want to watch two guys hug real strong.

Sure, and that's fine.

And I've talked about Tank Abbott and his arousals while fighting, so I'm.

Not going to talk about it again. I only have fifty stories. And how many episodes are we indo here?

Oh, we've got at least four hundred.

Yeah, so there we go.

That's why I've told everything eight times and that is some quick math.

And then one of those boxer guys killed himself.

I'm really sometimes I'm just proving that I remember things, and then it's kind of a bummer, so I'm sorry. And also the guy that I watched the surgery before my hip surgery, uh huh, that that victim of my doctor.

Patient.

I mean he died of a like a brain aneurysm.

Oh and I'm all the.

Time, I'm worried that it's a little piece of hip metal or a bubble.

From his hip going to his brain or something. I don't have more to worry about.

Yeah, you please take that off the list.

I will, I will.

You have plenty of things to nail down before you get into brain aneurysms, because brain aneurysms, they just happen and it's over.

You're good.

So that's going to hit you. That's like worrying about being hit by a bus.

If it's going to happen, you won't be able to do anything anyway, exactly. So take it off the list it is it is, and get real into my thing, which is not going to the doctor, because I'm convinced now that my life finally has come together, that they're.

Going to be like now you have full body cancer all the time. I'm just positive because it's that right head to.

Toe's I have head shoulders, easy to cancer.

Cares, mouth, and nose.

I have cancer on my neck, my back, and my crack.

To the windows, to the walls.

I have cancer from my windows to my walls. All you doctor sal I.

Have cancer dripping down my balls, which is the worst kind.

It's just the outward like whitting cancer.

You can't shower it off.

I know, it's like oil. It just the water bounces off of it.

It's bad. It's cancer repellent. Balls are the worst than welcome that dude, need to welcome to X rayed.

Do you need to ride? Yeah?

God forbids some mother who drives carpools, like these guys are fun and funny that these are the ones kids can listen to.

Oh yeah, and that's just everyone in the car is a pacifier and they're learning so much about life.

Everyone in the car, well, you know, it's funny. I was watching.

I woke up the middle of the night as I was telling you guys, so I put on I got a screener for the movie The Favorite, and I put it on, and so many of my friends had told me. I couldn't stop laughing because all my friends had told me they went to this movie thinking it.

Was about like historical.

It was like historical fiction or about this old queen, and it's really about how this queen had a couple of lesbian lovers. So they're like there was so much lesbian set or you know, there was so much sex that they didn't expect.

They are in street. I like to keep it sinister and without any details.

And surreal, we're in the street. Well, you finished your I don't even know why I started telling it except for that it was. Oh, it was the kind of movie people think it's a parents movie because it seems like it's historical, right, but it's actually a movie about like three women who are all trying to have sex with each other. And no one saw it coming. So I had a couple of different friends we're like, yeah,

Isn't good?

I love it. It's amazing. And it's it's Olivia Coleman, who's from if like Broadshirt. She's a British actress. Did you watch Peep show.

Oh yeah, I love peep Show.

So you know the main girlfriend that's around the longest and she kind has really big eyes and big teeth. Yeah, that's HER's Wow, Olivia Coleman. She's and she kind of speaks quietly like this. She plays the queen. And then Emma Stone comes one person and Rachel White looks.

Funny really much from it? Who the person that made that movie? What else have they made? The lobster? Oh yes, oh hello, it's so funny.

Everyone very gifts for various reasons.

Oh really yeah, so for Steve and I have a son there in my house. I'm not going to tell you you want that's private. Did to see you guys?

See I know hi friends?

Thanks bringing up? And also I brought pastries.

Here's why because I felt it would induce guilt either way, because I felt if you have them, you'll feel guilty, and if you don't, you feel guilty for wasting them.

So you know it's a double gift.

Then are they from the Tropical?

We just go by that place and I wanted to cry because I want their coffee so bad?

Can I peak? I'm gonna peek? Given't no, you can? I want you to ideally you'd have them. Now, well will we drive.

People get mad when we make smacking.

So yeah, but anger is good.

It's an emotion apparent and it's good to express whatever you go. So there's a banana bread, chocolate croissant, macaroon and a guava and panada.

Have them if you want them, just for everyone. This is You're the best.

You're definitely the number one guest of all time.

Again, I just want to say that it wasn't altruistic. I thought maybe you'd feel guilty, and I thought it could induce that, but yes, I wanted you to feel good as well.

I feel all kinds of negative from.

So Sun because it's like there's always meetings like next door, so it's all sorts of addicts and you can always overhear their stories in Cafe Tropicyle just about like the problems they have, and they're all having like the most amount of intense conversations happen in Cafe Tropical ever, Like every conversation is.

Very intense, yes, and they're all just.

Really expressing themselves and their eyes are wide and I love it.

Or there's people that are writing, oh, like it's their last chance before they move away from Los Angeles.

I always feel like when I'm in Cafe Travichal writing a screenplay, I look around at everyone and I'm gonna be like I'm the one who's going to make it though, like there's like so many different screenplays, but I want to be the one.

Who does it.

I'm going to be the one and that makes it to the SAP. I like that with their coffee. When you order coffee there, they put milk in it automatically.

You don't get a choice. Yes, I love any kind of thing where it's like you just back up, We're going.

To take care of Yeah, there's no such thing as not drinking dairy eating they do.

They added soy and almond now, so it's kind nice because I actually became lactose intolerant last year at the everything else where it happened my stomach started exploding. Now that's the annoying thing about lactose intolerance is you just buy necessity.

Are more annoying now.

Yes, Like you just literally are the most annoying human alive.

You have to talk about it.

Yeah, every breastaurant I go to, do you cook that with butter? It's like, who the fuck Am I someone who doesn't want.

To be in pain?

Do they have pills like bino for farting for lactose intolerance that helps.

You, yeah, lactid though I get nervous. Though.

I don't want to test it because it doesn't work on everyone. And I just hate pain so much, and so I just try to avoid it at all costs, like all stuck up doing something if I feel any pain, so I'll just like milk is like, okay, I'll never try that again.

You know, you know I had a flare up.

I guess it's called when you're doing extra terribly and it helped me a lot to not eat dairy and and sugar and.

All those things.

True, it is so visual, Yeah, it really is, but visually I looked the same. It was just my face was unhappy.

You're no stranger to pain, though.

No, we we've we've we've talked about pain together.

Yeah. Yeah. How is your hip? My hip feels terrific.

Yeah yeah. Is it a real hip anymore? Or do you have a fake hip? It looks like a golf.

Club, but it works like a golf club.

It is. It is still my bone.

They didn't cut my bone there's just a little helmet on it.

What can't you do?

Uh certain yoga poses?

Quickly?

Oh, you can't sass yoga anymore?

No, I love.

Yeah, Steed cold yoga about my house. It's the new They do not want you to be warm, they do not want you.

It's all pulled. Everyone's cramping, everyone's screaming.

Do you guys find it? Are you able to? Something I think about all the time. I've been talking about this a lot lately. Is Oh is that Danielle? It is daniel daniel.

We are She has to know Danielle. Danielle. We're podcasting. Hey, Danielle, we're currently podcasting.

She's like, I don't care, Christine, we're podcasting.

That's gonna start.

It's funny because there are certain places you drive in the East side of la or like where you you're guaranteed to run into someone you know, like Mustard Seed Cafe if you go there, and you will have a conversation you don't want to have. If you if you walk down Hillhurst, you will run into someone.

There's just certain places you can be sure.

Yes, that's very true.

But Daniel's a good person, so he's the greatest she's the opposite of a gang neighborhood.

You know, she she's running our network.

I know.

It's just the other day and she told me that, and now full circle it almost seems planned.

Well I called her and said, are you busy around ten forty straight across sunset please for Jake for his comfort.

We like all of our name droppings to be organic, and if you aren't there, it's going to seem set up.

Do you This is a weird question, but can you write off gas because you're at work right now?

Karen? Oh, yes, yes, yes, she did exciting. I do mileage.

Oh and it's half of my driving I've did and probably more actually is because of you know, going to comedy this part of town from the beach to go do a seven minute set for no money.

So damn right, I'm getting like, oh, hell.

Look at there's your there's your billboard.

Right, that is so exciting. Sorry you're hired, it's my I love that.

I always was a fan of Sorry, we're open just like apologies.

Yes, I like the other day I was with Matt ingebretson who is uh do you need to ride?

Alum?

And Pat Bishop the other creative corporate and we were walking. We wanted to get a picture of of the bill boss under the billboard, just to document it because it's so crazy that we are able to have. It's such a once in a lifetime experience. Ye're walking on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Los Flies. Although I know Matt had a trouble pronunciate, pronunciating.

It, pronunciating it, pronoun it. Yeah, but it's it's a lot of things, you know what I mean. It's just meant to you know what, It's meant to get you in trouble. That's what it is.

So there were these there's this couple walking and I said to them, Hey, can you guys take our picture. We're like on that billboard and if you could take a picture of that would be great.

And that can only happen in LA.

And that is the most La bullshit ever is my face is up there and if you can take a picture of be in front of it.

And I felt bad, but I kind of felt good.

Even more LA thing is for them to respond with, oh yeah, whatever.

It's like, so are we're the one next to you? Yeah, you guys? Are you guys happy?

I'm great?

Yeah?

Good?

Real good.

I've been very happy lately. I don't know if it's got The rain has been helping. Everything's green. I don't understand these people that jump off the space needle because it's wet out.

So you you so the rain and the dreariness helps you.

Yes, I've been indoors, I haven't had to interact.

I've spent a lot of quality alone time. And it turns out I like myself. All right, Wow, is that like a new revelation?

It sort of is that because I you're we're kind of trained to think that being alone all the time a bad thing and you should be sad. But I've been enjoying my apartment and it's wet out and there's no pressure to go do anything or be it.

And don't get me.

Wrong, I've been How often do you get road trees or going to do comedy?

I think about that all the time. How often do you guys actually want to go do something?

Never? That was my favorite I watched.

I went to the screening of new Corporate episodes from the current season, which started on the fifteenth, and there's an episode about that, and it was my favorite.

The pressure to go out at night, I really don't want to.

Yeah, it's weird because there's this whole world of things to do. I think, I guess, but then you're like, but but it isn't that good?

Like I just can't like what is good?

You know what's weird. I've been thinking about this a lot lately once, So what is good?

Right?

Because everything changes as you get older, especially living in Los Angeles For me having been here for so long, what I see now is the reason people get married in there, like and down here, it's usually late thirties or forties or whatever at the latest. The reason that happens, and you kind of like nest up is because it stops being good because most you can't like, drink heavily for twenty years without some impact, Like you can't just keep on going out and getting fucked up and having.

That be fine.

Like that's great in your twenties, fine in your thirties. When you're in your forties, it starts to it starts to bottom out.

No, I drink at home, don't get me wrong.

Well, drink all you want.

My point is that staying at home starts to become the good thing, sure, and then going out starts to become the bummer, and it basically everything goes mirror image and it's just like the I think it's just the effect of aging.

Yeah, yeah, there's that broad picture that I am sort of confronted by it, but it's true.

But then there's also just like there's no parking.

Well that's what I'm talking about.

It's just sort of like I have a bad bladder like so like like just like when I go to a place, when I go do anything, my first thought is where's the bathroom? Like where's the bathroom? And is the seat I have close to the bathroom? And so don't I don't have to worry about that at home, Like that's just like a thing. And then parking's a nightmare and just sort of like like what I don't like about going out, I think is when I go somewhere, I don't like the moment where I'm done before the

Know what I mean.

Like if I'm home, I'm just like being reasonable or pretending to save money or reading, you know. But it's like it's but then if I if I go out and I say like, oh, I want to go home, that I'm like the negative person, you know what I mean, Like, and I would prefer to live in the dark about how bad a person I am, you know what I mean.

It's just much better to not know right well.

And also it's because like that idea that we're all supposed to have this same preferences is very strange.

It's just like we all I don't.

It took me years and years to finally realize I don't like going out.

I actually don't.

I was just an alcoholic before it was that also like to dabble in drugs and that kind of was fun. But especially the older yet, like when the group changes and people get younger and you're still old. That's like the last party I went to, I was just like I shouldn't be here.

Yeah.

Because also I feel like when I talk to younger people than me, I'm thirty five, so I'm not explicitly young, but I'm not.

But I'm not.

I'm not super old or super young. I feel like I feel like I'm like an adult, I guess, you know. But I feel like when I talk to younger people than me, anyone younger than me. Anything they say is a reminder of how stupid I was like ten minutes before.

You, you know what I mean.

It's like, oh, I was that, and I hate seeing that and I know, yeah, this says look at that.

Oh is this Joe Biden in town?

Well they have little ledges on that unmarked Uh?

Very that is that? A I forget what it's called. Is Joey? Like is the original you call Joey? That was my guest?

But what is that side step thing indicative of something?

Yeah?

For people, I think it's so they can smash through cars.

For real.

It's allege for secret service guys to perge on.

Well, let's follow that suv.

Both of those could be wrong.

Let's get into that caravan.

That was very exciting.

I think being a secret service is just you don't get to tell anyone the secrets, and that sucks, you know, like, why would you want I don't think anyone's good at keeping secrets because it's not fun, you know what I mean. It's super fun to tell secrets. Yeah, and to have a job where you have to like pretend to respect who you're guarding and then if you're put in jail works.

Yeah, I think so, even if it's on a podcast, honestly, it will continue.

You have to jog in hard shoes.

Oh that's another good point.

There's there's so much running with like a for a fully suited man. I'm sure they think it's so uncomfortable.

Because it suddenly is you have to suddenly run you have to sto is jogging through a park.

No, suddenly you have to like bust out and chase people or run away.

Probably Secret Service now feel a little more relaxed and they don't have to get up and go that they used to.

So it makes me I think remember something that I think about a lot, which is that I think success is being able to wear whatever you want.

Yeah, like literally whenever you want to, Like.

If you because you you podcast a lot, you could do it in your pajamas, right, So that is successful.

You don't have to wear anything that.

There's a lot of guys in Venice living on the beach that are successful.

Yes, exactly. I saw that guy.

He's used to be an old neighbor, but now he just has seaweed wrapped around his head and his bicycle No, it's a bike.

That doesn't have tires.

It's just rims around with a seaweed head and a seaweed bike. And he used to have two leopard painted limousines. Now he's screaming at parking meters with seaweed on know.

What happened in between those two things. Success? Success with meth is what you're talking about.

He very much.

He successfully smoked a ship.

My roommate used to play pick up basketball with him at the white man can't jump court. And now he is a full fledged, potentially violent He's a scary person and he's big. He's one of these guys that lives on the streets but somehow is able to work out all the time.

I don't know.

Oh yeah, people who are just shredded from life. It's like, God, I don't have that job or I don't have that life.

Everything he says, he's like a pull up bar, like.

He's using the space around him every day is a rocky workout in a barn bail is a perfect place to stick my toes under and do some crunches.

Now, guys, would either of you ever live in this part of downtown Right now, we're in the downtown Los Angeles area that I think they like to call the arts district, which I believe is a bit generous.

It's definitely generous.

It's just charts districts are just where no one else wants to live, like where you can live to be an artist with eight other artists in like a warehouse.

Yeah, in searching right.

And I looked at a place like that, and it was kind of cool to think, Oh man, everyone would be creating sculptures for burning man. My neighbor look a trapeze artist in the window. And then parking too. But if you walk outside the encampment, it's just bullet holes. Yeah, and danger, a lot of danger and a lot of ripped So you guys wouldn't move down here.

I looked at a place I was thinking about it.

I want I'd move down here just so I could win a contest at the Moth.

You know what I mean, just to be like Sports district. And let me tell you what I saw.

You better have stories about it.

Yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't know.

I lived in Chinatown and it was okay, like it was just kind of like it was fine, Like there was nothing bad or good about it. Really it was just a place to live. I'm not really sure what I want in a place to live. I feel like the older I get, the more I want to just live away from everyone, Like like I want to live away from everyone, But then I want to have all the convenience stores I need and only I can buy stuff out of it.

I highly recommend Burbank's.

It just seems inevitable, and that is one of the true joys of getting older is just being like realizing Burbank is what you want.

Like that is just like, oh, I guess that's that is what is good. It's just the most boring.

Milk toast place with a tiny, stress free airport.

Yeah, I mean that airport is.

I feel like too many podcasters are calling out how great that that airport is because too many people are just gonna fly in there just to see how it is.

It's like such a wonderful experience.

It really is.

And most of the time the flying I'm doing these days is always out of Lax So in the rare times where it is out of Bourbank, I want to cry. And the last time it was I was late and I missed my flight because I lived ten minutes from the airport, right right, right, So I.

Was like, oh, I'm fine, I can just I like just kept.

Blow drying my hair like I was doing something I did not need to be doing because I was like, I'm fine. And then of course Alaska they shut their they shut the doors forty minutes before takeoff.

Oh those Christian ascids.

I've been a victim of that before.

I didn't know.

I blame the whole state.

Wait, Alaska, did they pair with Virgin or Jet Blue or something like Virgin?

I believe? And are they they're super religious?

Alaska Airlines was like in and out where they had the John three sixteen quote on their napkins when they used to give out cocktails. Oh yeah, they were full on like we are an actively Christian organization?

Is that? What is that? Which one is that John sixteen?

Is he is the the.

It's just about napkins.

Yeah, it's like literally like, yeah, just use a napkins on your face.

Yeah, it's really it's the Bible is.

So detailed it helps me live.

So yeah, I wouldn't use a napkin if they didn't say it. Yeah, there's a lot of cleanliness tips in the Bible.

Sometimes I forget, and I don't want to be too incendiary here, but I'm not religious at all, and I don't think you guys are either. No, And I don't think other people should be right. Right of course, of course, and we all think that because we're liberal heathens. But but sometimes I forget when I meet people that the way they're interpreting a situation is because they're like, Christ is telling me to do stuff and I should be good, and they're interacting with me, and they're like, this is

Like, did you see the game? You know what I mean? And they're like, yeah, the Game of Life or something. I don't.

It's just like I forget that. Like so many people live in a world where there's a lord and it's like they're really stressed about it, like they really got to impress that guy.

Because there are so many tasks in that world where it's like convert others, right, you know, make them know the word of the Lord, make them see the value of Jesus or whatever, or it's just like.

Take how about take a break? Yeah, you about just live your life and be good with it and let other people do their thing.

Sure, but it just yeah for obviously, but also it's just stressful to me. It's like I'm not like, I'm just sort of trying to eat every day, nothing too bad, you know what I mean, not get a stomach ache, you know, try to do my planks because of my back is fucked up, and like that's about it. But then a lot of people are just like, oh man, the world is really fucked up, and I got to do my part. And I'm like, I don't need to do my part.

In fact, your part is that billboard. You've done yourself.

That's true.

Yeah, people pass that billboard and go, oh hi, do you hate my job too?

Yay.

We can get so much mileage off the we make a living and making other people happy that we don't have to.

Do it is true.

Yeah, we never have to face anything.

I fall back on that all the time.

But I honestly think that I've watched your show a couple of times and thought, I bet you there are people who got sucked into the corporate on the corporate track and thought that was what they wanted, how it was supposed to be, and that they were like on their way and they're fucking miserable and they feel like

So surprised. You might not think you're religious, but you're helping people.

You are the Christ.

Well, I was thinking about like one of the I don't know if there's a specific purpose of comedy or art, but I think I've noticed it on Instagram. It allowed me to realize something that what people really want when they see something, they hear a podcast or they see an Instagram or a show, they just want to tag someone and go me.

They want to be like this is me.

Yes.

They just want to feel seen, right, And I feel like that's the whole The whole game is just so you can articulate other people's pain, so they're like, I'm not the only one in pain, So I'm.

Okay, Yeah, I'm not crazy for feeling pain, right, Yep. Everybody's pretending that they're perfect and great and actually they're in pain, and so am I.

Isn't it the weird thing?

Do you guys everget to I mean, Chris, you your comedy is like seemingly fairly lighter, like on stage because it's so silly. But I feel like both of you obviously have a darkness. I know you do, but like, do you ever get called does this? Do you ever get accused of too much darkness or like in conversation or in your comedy or in jen Like, do you have people ever ecuse you that?

Because that happens to me a lot, and I don't agree kind of.

Yeah, no, I just because I'm talking about it, I am confronted by it, and I feel like people are thinking that, But no, I don't. People don't actually say that. I just put that on myself that I'm scaring good people.

What about you, Karen, because I know you're talking about murder, So I'm curious what people think.

I've always been but that's been going on for a long time, and so I learned early.

I was always called weird growing up. Yeah, yeah, I was always called like dark and weird. I hated that and different and whatever.

So very early on I learned that that was a good thing because I would look at the person saying it to me and be like, this person is so lame, Ei.

They're just unbelievably boring.

Yeah, and also like clearly like threatened by Like when I was little, I would just say whatever the fuck came to my mind, or I would like play games and do shit by myself, and I never really thought that much about being seen doing it.

I would just do things.

And then when people, of course you get a little older, especially girls, and they say you're so weird or whatever, and then I would just be like good, oh yeah, good.

Well it's funny that like people call interesting people weird because and this is.

Unny instead of when you're funny as a kid and someone lass and then they go, oh man, you're so weird, and I'm like, hey, yeah, I always thine I had to turn that into a non negative word myself.

Yeah, yeah, I'm always I'm fascinated by it because it's like, if you really I'm not trying to get too annoying here, but like, if you really look at what life is and the fact that we're animals on this planet and we're like bizarre creatures with hair everywhere, especially in between our eyebrows, and it's nice, I get away. That's everyone is so weird, Like anyone even just attempting to be

It's we Like whenever I see.

A school of fish act in Unison, I'm like, you guys are fucking weird, Dan, you know what, They're kind of fucking weird too. It's like, how do they have the energy to jam for four hours?

And they just took one mushroom?

They christ My mother texted me one time, uh when she lived in New York, and she's like, Jakey, do you know a band led by a singer named Trey And I'm like, do you mean Trey Anastasio with Fish And she's like yes, And I was like, well, I don't really listen to him, but yes, they're very famous, and she's like, well, I'm in the Apple Store with him right now, and he's actually really nice.

I bet he has a really good life.

Yes, awesome. Wow, And you know she said to him, hold on, let me text my son. I know he's going to know who let me text my son? Jay.

Yeah, that was one of them.

When you go to college you learn a lot, of course, but I uh, I was sheltered from Fish my entire life.

I had never heard of the man.

All of a sudden, I move into the dorms and every single door had a fish sticker and I'm like, why just did someone hand out stickers in the hallway Today? Everyone listened to that band and I couldn't stand it. Yeah, I thought it was really not good music.

What I can't relate to and I haven't honestly listened to a lot of fish in my life, But what I can't really relate to is people who truly have that much fun, Like they're just having so much fun and not that it's bad, it's just like, wow, you really let go, Like I just like you let go and you have a great time and you don't seem that self conscious. And I'm a little just like, oh we're different, Like we're just totally different.

The opposite of comedy comedy is you sit there, analyze everything.

You're trying to pull every single thing apart. What they're doing is the exact opposite of like let it all go into a blur and do whatever you want. Where that's so non analytical and.

Non critical that like for someone like me, that makes me so uncomfortable.

You know what, that is a perfect articulation of what that is, exactly what's going on.

Can this helped me podcasting?

Do you think? Yeah? I think it is.

I think a lot of people realize why they don't think fish is good.

Yes, that's really interesting.

I could I could just handle them all trying to play the same song at.

The same time.

Do they combine song?

It's it sounds like they're all they're all have ear plugs and they're just doing their own thing and they were given an instrument and sometimes it matches up, and usually it doesn't.

But hey, they're smiling.

Listen.

I brought this up in the first place. I've never heard a fish song in my life.

I can. One of them is about a lawnmower. I believe.

There's a lot of references to lawnmowers.

I don't mind that.

I wish some songs were like more about like my shoe doesn't fit, you know, like, oh shit, I gotta get new shoes.

I guarantee they have some shoe songs.

Stephen, could you please take a picture of that truck full of corn?

Oh there's so much coin.

You that is the most corn. I think anyone's got one.

You can see on the side of the truck, even rubbed up against more corn.

Do you think he went straight into the cornfield and got all that corn?

Yeah, he was just looking at corn. Yeah, I don't care about hit and run a scarecrow.

I bet you that is straight up farm fresh corn.

It is probably is that fresh corn. Podcasting, What do you think about fish? Do you like fish?

Yeah?

Sometimes do people look in your truck and think it's plantains at first?

Cause I did.

They're like, I told you we were going to get harassed because of all this corn.

I like that truck of maze. Oh yeah, here's Chinatown. Oh yeah, there's a bunch of dragons.

So it was like living down here just kind of dull.

It was just kind of dull.

It was not like the Chinese food was okay, Like it wasn't It wasn't necessarily outstanding.

I feel like this is kind of ugly shame.

There's not a ton of good Chinese food in LA which are a shame because I grew up in New York where it.

Was really good.

It's amazing, yeah, but it's not that great here.

So it was just kind of, you know, just very kind of port Right in the tail end of me living there was when it started to become an arts district or people were attempting to make it cool, Like I feel like people attempt to make places that are explicitly not cool the new cool place because no one's going there. So people were trying, but I wasn't having it. I was like, no, it is not cool. Yes, it is not cool, maybe.

Because Rush Hour two was shot here, but that's it.

Did you do Was that your show that was in an art gallery in Chinatown?

Or is that just you mean like shooting in an art gallery in China?

No?

No, No, there was a stand up show? Yes, was that I did that?

It was very short lived show.

Yeah, I did. I feel like I've done that show. We might have even been on that show together. But I don't think I had to show there. You know what's weird about comedy every I have run so many shows and don't remember.

Any of them like I have run.

I ran a show at usc for a while, but I completely forgot about a year of my life.

Did you do it in the in the commissary like I did it in sort of?

There was like an auditorium sort of situation that seven people came to and like Jerrod Carmichael was on it, like the really famous people were on it, seven people. Like, So comedy is just full of we have done so many shows together where there's six people there at and that's a good show, you know.

And can I tell you that I used to run a show at UCLA in the cafeteria.

I feel left out.

I've never run a show to college before.

Now listen, we can get you over to. There's a college in Burbank, right by the hills.

I don't wish Burbank so hard I've been. You're getting payed off by Burbank Bank has.

I'm far away from everyone, and there are neighborhood places to eat.

So there you go. And the ocean need I need? I need it? Do I need it?

You know what's weird about the driving? I don't know what's worried about the ocean. Is it isn't real. Everyone thinks it's real.

I know, it's just so ump in.

Touch and it's actually a screen.

It's a scream, it's a wet moon fabricated.

Well, I'm just driving around with you guys, and I'm just because I'm not driving, I'm having the sensation of.

NRC of I'm peeing, and it's it's not warm enough.

What's weird is when you drive around LA, you and I guess maybe this is anyone in any city, but it strikes me right now that La is just I'm thinking of it, of all the failed first dates I've had, like like, oh I had a failed one there. Yeah, I forgot about that person. Well, I've been in that apartment.

That was bad.

I just couldn't find parking exactly.

I'm just like, wow, you really, even though it never feels like you're doing anything with your life, you do so much.

You do.

Here's a crew, and a.

Lot of it hurts you. Like there's a lot of ghosts. I mean, I've I've lived here for over twenty years. Yeah, so there's parts of this town I can't go to.

Oh I just realized that's why I don't remember a lot as stand up sets or jokes or things I say on podcasts is because.

Comedy hurts me, it hurts you.

There's too many there's too many times where you feel bad, so you got to forget it. And along with that are the good times. Yes, oh man, that's a shame.

You are so vulnerable when you do stand up comedy, oh my, and your feelings get hurt even when it goes the best it can go.

I feel like that's especially when you get hurt because what's so weird about comedy and this has been articulated before, But as well as you do, you the next time you do it can't be as good.

So then you suck, yes, and it's just and then you suck forever.

My special taping went very well, and I knew it went well, and I immediately felt terrible after it, and I've also been having nightmares about things that actually happened during it.

And it went well and it went well.

Yeah, it just built for I mean, I feel like so much of life in comedy is like a VISs a vessel. For this is that if you set expectations high, ever, you're kind of fucked. Yeah, you can't, because it's because humans just sort of then get to a new level and then not matching up to it is really stressful and makes you feel bad and like something's wrong.

But you don't appreciate the new level. You don't see you're doing. Look at this great accomplishment, you.

Go, this is fucked. Here's all the ways it's fucked. I can't do this. I'm a fraud.

It all comes back to that Fraudut.

I'm glad that I had good parents who cared about me because they taught me early on to keep my expectations low.

And it is very really important.

Yeah, like, don't get too excited about this. YopE, it is a dangerous thing.

Yeah, Barack Obama's message of hope destroyed a.

Generation yea in this country. Yeah, I really did. I like the posters you do you I'm a shepherd faeryoad.

Pea empathy center.

Yeah.

Used to be an like a skateboarder's art gallery if we're just talking about things that used to be around that are giving us memories. And I went to an opening there and it was one of those things where like for me, a skateboarder's art gallery opening, I'm like, this is it, this is all I want to do this is the coolest, and I felt like I didn't have pants on the whole time.

It was like I felt like everyone knew I.

Shouldn't have been there, and it was so uncomfortable and weird. And that's like one of the many why did I try? Why did I think that was going to be good?

Yeah?

I definitely experienced that.

Riving forty three and actually going to skate parks and.

And you're like, look at my new hip, and look at that kid.

They're doing something that I've tried for twenty five years to do. He's been skateboarding for four years and does it better than me with more style and guys don't.

But then it's like, it's funny because I think about it in terms of I got off Instagram recently because or like my personal account, because I got a little too sad and not at what I think a lot of people get said at is that I will see the young sort of like influencers or young hot people, and I get sad because they don't know how much pain is coming. I feel so bad for the gorgeous people who have a million followers, because in five years it's all just I don't look as good as I

And because it's it's so surface, it's not like you go, I love her and she's so nice.

Yeah, I feel bad that they feel they have to be this way. Yeah, it's it's shocking.

I still feel bad about the complete And it's an amazing the one eighty that I pulled emotionally from being hating vine famous people to feeling bad for them once that was taken away.

So it's devastating. It was off.

There was really people that had a lot of uh people paying attention to them.

Just on that and it's like someone's injecting you with a ton of fucking drugs and the drugs or expectations and then all of a sudden, no one gives you any more and they all make fun of you for every ever thinking you were hot shot.

Yes, I feel bad for that, And then I follow them they try to redo it on Instagram and it's not happening. There's this little hilarious girl or mom. So he's got a camera on her. Uh Ava Ava's her name, but she's the funniest kid ever, so funny, like a child. I know that we don't think children are funny, but man, and now she's growing up and now it's just an Instagram acauin there's not many followers.

It makes me really sad.

I don't know why it makes me sad, because that kid had so much hope. But she's she's like, we are going to be famous for I think they probably still pay.

As if, as if fame isn't the worst thing ever has the three of us like, come out here and you need some sort of quote unquote fame in order to sustain your career, right because essentially you just want to transfer to power, right agency, But like as if anything beyond agency creatively is the worst experience a human can have, besides like I don't know, famine, but regardless, there is such a nightmare. So obviously the idea of wanting that is such a sickness.

It's so upsetting.

Well because it's made up there they want a thing that isn't the thing they're asking for.

That's the that's the problem is people.

It's like the American idol idea of like I'm going to get out there and then it's a meritocracy, and you know, it's about talent, and it's about this, and it's about that, and it's just like you have no idea.

It's just a business.

It's like a business that doesn't it's a sociopathic business that doesn't care about you.

And if comics are dumb, then the people that run the business are brain dead.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, here's the question. Oh two things. Whenever you drop me off, and I'm having a blast, so thank.

You breaking in.

No, we're hitting up.

I just want to know can you drop me off at Matt's? Oh?

Sure, and I can send you there. What do you guys do in a new episode? No, I just want to go hang out with him. We made a show together and I legally have to hang out with to generate.

More story season you.

And the other question I had was, because I try to think about this too, what does make you? Because I think almost everything makes me feel bad, but what actually consistently makes you like feel pretty good?

Good question?

Yes it is, oh god, and it's real scary when you don't have an immediate answer.

For me. One of them is my cats.

I love them and They're like a source of joy for me and it's always a good thing. It's like I feel like they are I'm like, every time I see them, I'm just so psyched and I can't believe I have that kind of love in my life. I can't like, oh my god, every single time, like they don't do they're dumb as shit, like my cats are particularly dumb. Like my cats are dumb cats, but I find them riveting.

And I feel like that is so incredible I have that.

You know what's funny you asked that question because my therapist. My therapist actually just made me start doing an exercise and she said pick a friend, And before she finished the sentence, I was like, Lizzie Cooperman, like I know exactly who will do this with me judgment free.

Sorry I didn't know that. Girls really mad at me because I went.

So basically, we have to send each other five things that not not that like it's like gratitudeless, but as opposed to I'm grateful for, which is very like I'm supposed to feel this way. It's five things that actually made you feel happiness, so as small or big as they are, when you had the emotion and a hit of happiness, you have.

To write it down.

So even if it's like when someone I don't like was in pain, basically, if.

You got the feeling and you have to write it down, that's great.

And it's really interesting because it's like you're saying, it's as small as that where my dog George gets a weird person smile on her face when I come in the door. She does that thing where she her head goes down and she smiles, and it's like the cutest thing of that's all the time, And then there's other things where suddenly I go, oh, yeah, this makes me feel good. I should be doing it all the time, and I don't do it just because you know, I

I guess it's.

Yeah, because it's sort of because it's a weird thing about happiness is that you can exist without it, and most people do. But it's like and you'll die and it won't matter, you know what I mean, that you were happy, But it's super nice when you're having a parient where you're like, God, I feel good and I definitely am lucky that I'm alive.

Right now. It's like, holy shit.

And it's not a consistent I think a lot of people because it's.

Not this long, static line of happiness and go, oh, then I have depression or something's wrong with me. It's not that you just get little hits all day and you go back to neutral, and that's just kind of like the best we can get, the.

Best you do. I think read do you guys read fiction a lot? No?

And it's something I feel guilty about, and I want to start.

I probably will do what I would implore you.

It's gonna start to make Yeah.

I think it's I understand.

I understand it's one of those things too that people feel guilty about, of course, because there's the thing you feel you should be doing. But I actually find that it is quite meditative in a way, and it's one of those things that.

Like this woman's walking that.

Well, almost slowing to stop.

What if right now she's thinking about murder?

I say, hi, friend, Yeah, I think that it's been very helpful for me in the sense that I feel like TV is a little difficult to get into because you know people on TV and if you've made TV ever years thinking about how it's edited and so. But then also, if you're on your computer watching it, you're always checking the internet, and that sucks. Obviously that's devastating.

That's in your head.

And I would say that it has made me a lot happier because I like talking when I read a book.

I actually do like myself, like I like.

Oh, look, I read a book, and now I can talk to someone else about the book and I can feel amazing. So I would recommend. And also the library. I want to say this. I'm just I guess I'm trying to preach this. The library, I think is one of the most underutilized and underappreciated things in the world. And I think it's that in public parks or maybe the only sign except the homeless. Yeah, well no, but

Yeah, I do.

The one in Venice is always everywhere, but it's you can get.

Any book for free.

You can you can get audiobooks, you can get movies for free, and it's literally like it's like free can be almost it's like and people don't use it. When I say I have a library card, people are like why, and it's like because it's like it's it's a true sign of beauty in the world and there's almost nothing like it.

Yeah. I like the library coming up.

The lowest feelis the one that lost that Leo DiCaprio built.

Did it.

Yeah, that's a library.

Little that's his library actually lives in the back.

He runs it. He's the manager.

But he used to live in that neighborhood and when he was growing up, there was no library and he was a I believe he was a single He a single parent kid, so he think he was went to library a lot, and so when he had enough money, he built a library for kids in that neighborhood.

Oh that's the coolest.

Yeah, it made me like him.

Yeah, I kind of tell my dad that story. He really has it out for Leod.

Why he alone?

Know what?

My dad makes me happy that I like that. I thought of one. I like visiting him school. But he just doesn't like his movie. He never thought he was good. I'm like, what about Gilbert Grape? What about the revenue?

What about the aviator in fear as well? Isn't he in fear with Wahlberg? Or is that just Walburn?

Oh? No, basketball? Sorry, basketball diaries?

Yeah you're thinking of basketball.

I think far diaries. I love match. Yeah. I like the guy and my dad wants to fist fight him.

Wow. Well, you know what's funny?

And my dad feels that way about the guy that runs the men's warehouse.

Oh yeah, I don't like that.

Is that you're gonna like the well you look guy?

Every time that commercials on, my dad gets so mad.

There's no one more smug and terrible than that guy.

Yeah, he's jealous of his millions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a lot. I spend a lot of time not liking the can you hear me now? Guy that used to work for whatever cell phone?

Everyone is furious about his defection. And I'll look at that, look at all the weird male.

I love it. Weird.

It's the best look at you.

I just love that. It's everywhere.

It is so bizarre.

I always think about the people that walk by who are like, fuck that guy.

You know what?

I mean, I wish I could think about like the people are like, oh, I want to see that show.

Who were like that?

And I saw him you stand up at a Chinese restaurant once and he sucked.

No, they're just.

Looking at it now like when everyone has their mouths open.

Yeah, I hate fists in the air.

Is there any corporate plugging or updates or anything for this new season?

It's still funny.

Yeah, the screening was it's such a good show that it's even better in the last season. That's really really very much enjoying it.

I will plug in a little. Chris Fairbanks is on it, so as Lizzie Cooperman. Cooperman is on Corporate this year, as well as many other comedians.

We like.

It's Tuesdays at ten thirty PM, and I think it's a good show, and please watch it live so we get to do it again because it's all about ratings, even though no one watches anything.

Yeah, I think it's a good, funny show.

And if you like darkness and lightness combined and you want to feel seen, please watch Corporate Tuesdays at ten thirty on Comedy Central.

Yeah. Do you think that if I just realized that because I don't TiVo it. I just try to find it. But do you think if I have it.

Programmed that counts. Yes, Oh sorry, I'm gonna do that.

Right.

You are doing so much for me, don't worry about it. You don't need to do any more for me in your lifetime. In fact, you could kill me and and be like, well even.

I know.

There's by the way, there's this gorilla bullshit graffiti. It's living in a constant daydream. And then there's like it's bullshit on another garage door. It's like love is the eternal drugs.

It's like, fuck you. You just ruined someone's doesn't.

But Pat Matt and I were walking by the other night and we're like, that's just gorilla market. I feel like I'm so cynical now. It's like save the planet. It's like, fuck you.

They did the whole street.

Yeah, that's a little crazy church. They wrote on a Buddhist church sign.

Yes, John mccainn couple. Here's the thing about John McCain. When he was young, he was pretty hot. Yes he was. Here's a real hot guy and talks about it enough. Yeah, because that's the thing, that's what matters he had.

The real, real sharp chin.

Yeah.

God, he was so hot. He was hot. Piece? May he rest in that piece? Wait?

Did I do this fall?

If you go up into the right, it's he's on. Well I guess I won't say where he's at, but if we if we turn right and then again?

Yeah, okay, thank you guys. Saw this was such a blast. You were terrific.

Yes, Jake, I haven't seen it in like a year or two, but I've been following everything and I'm thrilled.

I'm thrilled to see you. I would love to see you more.

Did know? And Chris, it's been nice to see you. One more, one more? Oh and also, Karen, I just want to remind you.

I forget what inside joke it was, but in my phone I have you as Karen fucking kill Garret. So that's how you pop up times attachments or twice a years Karen fucking kill Garrion.

And that is a weird thing. So much power doing.

I really like it?

Yeah, I do too. Can you put me in this Chris fucking fair Bank? Yeah, fucking Chris Fairbanks.

Yes that flows better off? Yeah?

Yeah, anywhere and double meaning in case we ever make love holy and.

Thank you as this was a blast.

Yeah, and it was so nice to see you and thank you, yes, thank you to see you as well.

Well. This has been Do you need a ride d yn Aar?

This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Casey O'Brien.

Mixed by John Bradley.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n Ar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Listen, follow and leave us a review on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your.

Podcasts and don't forget.

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Thank you, Oh You're welcome.