Ep. 84 - Lizzy Cooperman

Are you leaving on you on your way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a turmanol and gay. We want to send you off inside. You wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about it? We scared her? Was it fine?

Now?

Porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride home from our studio? You're listening to Do you need to ride? From the All Things Comedy Studio? My name is Chris.

Fairbanks and my name is Karen cle Garaff.

We are I just came from a long drive down a long and winding road. How many every day? Is really? I'm sorry, it's just a starter. You know, I warm up, you know I love show Horrified Dumb.

She's one of my favorites.

Especially when she teams up with Kid Rock.

How many hours from labor?

A horrifying drive. It was cartoonishly windy, and then clouds of fog would make it where I had just stop and pull over because I couldn't see the edge of the road.

Holy shit.

And I was headed up to this max fun con thing and uh and then all of a sudden, I took a left and you're just above the fog and it was sunny and beautiful. Oh, it's a lake on top of It's like a lake at five thousand feet.

Yeah, it's cool. And it's all kind of fake German.

It was kind of Germany.

Yeah, who doesn't love that?

I guess you certain people, certain people have memories about certain factions.

It's true.

Yeah.

But how long was the drive?

Totally?

Is?

I just I just sped back and got here just in time.

Just I just want a number of how many hours the drive?

The drive up there was two and a half. The drive down was an hour and forty.

Okay, but in scary weather conditions, in a dangerous marine life.

Scooby doo, clouds of fog just coming in right in front of me.

I thought you were calling me, Scooby, Scooby do.

I will tell let me tell you something, scoobs row, does that ring any bells?

One of the best jokes I ever wrote was in

She never really she noticed that but didn't really.

Remember that it got her. It got her good, and it was I think it was my first official spit take, and so you know I'll always have a place in my heart for Scooby Doo.

Yeah, if it causes your first big laugh with a spit tag, thanks guys.

My first big laugh doesn't take away anything from you. So there's no reason to be sad.

Well, I didn't mean to get jealous what happened. I don't know that I've ever caused a spit tag close. Then they just have to turn away and swallow.

And one thing dribbles out there, one nostril.

No, I made someone laugh to wear a baby carrot shout out what that felt pretty good? No, dangerously at a high.

Velocity, like a like a carrot bullet.

And I called that guy's salad shuder for a long time.

Hold on, you're not saying a whole baby carrot.

Maybe he took it was like a bit in halfating.

He basically snorted.

He no, just went to laugh, but his mouth was closed. So the carrot was like, fucking, I want, where's this door go? And it was a nostril. That's the thought process of the carrot.

I think, I think, I think a carrot take is better than a spit take.

He's a real carrot taker. I think the carrot taker is actually the phantom.

What's this?

Oh, there's always a phantom in Scooby Doo, and it was often a caretaker. Oh that's right, But I got you, carrot. That's just going back, calling back. I'm with you now, I'm warming up.

I hear you.

I've only had coffee.

Come on, we do this. It's you need protein, you have to have it.

Didn't have time. Don't always have time to do the basics, the basic life things like eating and sleeping. Just don't have time always going.

You know what, I'm gonna give you a tip. They have these awesome things called seven eleven, and you can go in there and get protein anyhow.

Not a lot of the stuff in there will I put in my body, you know, ma'am.

Oh, that's right.

You have my daily liquor intake. I'm pretty healthy.

Did you liquer it up a lot?

I liquered it up last night? Fun times, Yeah, it was fun. They had a dance party. Oh and you know there's a lot.

Of and did you was Did you touch anyone's butt? Are you allowed to talk about it?

I did not touch butts. There's no one's butt that I I mean, I'm not in the market for butt touching, got it.

Oh that's right, Sorry, that's okay.

But there was there was an undertone there that it's like, hey, that people are going to get laid tonight, and it's like it almost felt like a sexual get together retreat.

Thing, like a key for comedy.

Yeah, Jesse announced that years ago someone lost their virginity at max fun Con and then and then he felt a lot of power from that new in a jokey yeah, yeah, he was kidding, of course.

I kind of pictured him saying that wearing a cape. Yeah, like into a microphone. There's a huge crowd.

It's like NPR type podcast fans. There's and a lot of fans of our podcast and they're really sweet and a lot of people. I wish you could have been there for some of the company.

I was, you know, I was supposed to be there.

But they aren't like partying people that are out clubbing. They're like hardworking people with jobs.

I imagine there's a lot of graphic designers. There's a lot of librarians.

Hmm, yeah, a lot of teachers.

People who are proud to be smart.

People that aren't getting together up in the mountains except on a normal basis. Yeah, and then they're all fucking you. You think people fuck it like a rave of some kind, because a lot of most hackey people would have gone with a bound chick type, right, which I'm glad you didn't. I hate. I mean, isn't it curious that when everyone does music from a porn it is a bound chick, a bound bound.

Oh right, when there's sex happening in so many other music places like my EDM festival that I was just doing a song from.

Yeah, people getting laid at guitar center.

Now, let's hear what it sounds like in the background.

Mirror. Should we talk about should we talk about how we have a guest today?

I think we should. She's had to sit here and listen like she's not here for so long.

Yeah, it's that's cutstoff. People do that, though, they develop a rapport and then they're like, our guest today is the terrific, hilarious. My good friend Lizzie Cooperman, Yeah, my friend to yeah, and also our friend.

I'm sorry, it's okay, no, no, that sounded combative and it didn't. I didn't mean it that way. It's just like I didn't.

Want to speak for you. Maybe you guys had a tiff today.

Let me just go over my personal histories.

With both of you, Okay, idea, it'd be great. They aren't the same history, right, they.

Aren't the same Mine's a history. Chris First, When did you guys first meet?

I think we met in Minneapolis, did me?

Yes?

Weeks ago at Acme Comedy Club. Were you headlining there?

Oh?

I don't think. I think I was featuring for Frank Kellendo. Oh really, of Mad TV.

Of John Madden fame.

Yes, yeah, before all.

That's just it might have been when he was on Hype. My first writing job with the sketch show on the WB called Pipe Wow Frank kellyand it was a star.

Oh wow, he's always been a star. And he was like a neo con Republican who said really bizarre things about how great Bush was.

And are not joking?

Yeah, And our good friend Andy Richie got in his face over it.

Did he say?

He just started He's like, that's that's really how you think you're an idiot?

I love that?

And Andy was just hanging out, No, he was, Ope, it was Andy and I was featuring and Frank Kellyando and the first night Andy got in his face about something that he blurted that I love it. Yeah, it was great, and so they didn't talk anymore for the best. But yeah, that was like maybe my first time, fourth time Firth. I'm gonna just clean up and start juicing right now. Though he kept inviting me to things. But after that, because I had Andy's back during that, I was like, yeah.

That was pretty stood behind him and You're like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't really follow politics yet, but I will one day when it affects me.

That's so funny.

Yeah.

So I feel like I met you there and then time passed. Yeah, it was like a fast forward move.

If you imagine pages of a calendar, Yeah, that's just peeling off.

Yeah, and then here right, Do you didn't live in New York to do?

No?

I never Okay, did you live in New York?

I did. I lived there for two and a half years.

Who was your best friend, you know, Christ Derek in New York?

He was I lived with Chris Drek.

For a while. I just assumed because he moved there around that time. Yes, you were pals in Minneapolis.

We were we lived together I think my closest friend there was Carmen Lynch.

Oh, I know her. Yeah, she's the greatest.

Yes, I love Carmen, So yeah, I think and then but yeah, I don't know. There's a fog over this relationship.

It's clear, remember, yeah, it was just it's just a slow build to what we have today. Yes, you're a New York hiatus right right.

But I remember seeing you and being like, oh my god, I've never seen anything like that. Like I remember when I saw you. I felt like you opened my mind to like new possibilities.

I flobbing words and saying that I'm not good at this, but trying to get laps that way.

I always remember the joke about the hair falling through the light that you do.

I always think of your frog on a lily pad. Oh really yeah, yeah, that's that's your signature bit in my brain. Maybe you haven't mentioned that frog in years.

Yeah, you know, the frog of which I speak, Karen.

No, it's a frog on a diplomatic frog on a lily pad with suspenders. I've created a different you know.

I like.

I like the idea of the frog and the little on the lily pad. It's slightly different, but it's like a frog butler flying a frog butler.

Yeah, we had a real frog.

Yeah, children's story. So there's always a frog in knickers who answers the door. And then I go through like the whole scenario of me having this frog as a butler, and how I want to like abuse this frog a little bit just because he's like kind of weak and like a little wet.

I love it.

Yeah, but he has like knickers on and stead yes, kind of like be a tricks potter asque I think I like it.

Yeah. I always think of who are those Christmas frogs down by the bog playing the washboard tub whatever? You know what? There's sometimes I feel like my memories are just in my own head. But that was a thing.

I mean I don't remember.

Ain't no hole in my daughter's drug band Christmas, That's what I'm talking about. What's that? It's a stop motion in a in a bayou bog situation, but it's Christmas.

Can I look it up?

Yeah, And it's a stop motion animated and there's frogs.

Because I was gonna say, I've seen those like frogs playing a stand up bass, but that was in a gift shop in Florida. There was no Christmas involved.

I just know one of those songs. It's called Ain't no Hole in the wash tub.

Oh wait, the frogs are playing stand up bass like in a window display.

Well no, it's like little frogs made of shells, you know there. It's like choch keys that they sell in like tourist traps.

Okay, yeah.

Or sometimes they're dead frogs that they've stuffed and then shell act so that they just stand there and put like plastic eyes into.

I don't like that because under that sillac, don't we have then a rotting frog.

Well, the sillac enables it to just not rot.

But if someone pokes a hole in the sillac coating oh that thing a smelly frog out, then you'll have.

A zombie frog. And then it'll be more modern and you can be like, this is the walking dead frog.

Yeah, and then you'll need a made frog to come and clean it all up.

I feel like the frog.

Oh yeah, Jim, it's moppets, I guess not stop motion.

Like.

I feel like the frog is easy to humanize because it kind of has like a real human body type.

The frog.

I feel like frogs do. They're like the apple shape because they have kind of like the big metal and like skinny legs.

Fucking thumbs or am I just thinking of Kermit? They got fingers? Yeah, oh no they have I'm just thinking a Kermit, I think. I yeah, I've changed. They have little web they have little webbed hands, like yeah, yeah, one day we will too.

We keep evolving, We keep swimming, Yeah, just keep swimming.

Tell us about your history with Karen here.

My history with well, I feel like I feel like our history has had like twists and turns to it because we didn't always know each other very well, right, and then recently, I don't know, I feel like I'm not great at recounting, but.

I mean nothing to her. Oh exactly. It's you know, it's because of Georgia. I think like we met each other. I know when I first met you, which was that comedy show at Highways, which was one of my very first stand up sets back after not doing stand up for five years, and I was like, didn't want to do it real bad, but I was like, you got it, Like you have to start because I knew it was going to be terrible. And it was at this weird theater out in Santa Monica that was that it was

I never I could never remember this exact night until now when you're saying, because I remember you walking in, and before you came in, everyone was like she writes on Ellen, and I felt like I got like nervous, and I was like, oh, like I felt like I wasn't communicating, but I was like, yeah, that's hilarious. Yes, now I remember.

The nicest woman in comedy. You're nice to everybody that deserves a pushover Ealy if someone gives a guff I can shut down.

I can shut down.

I'll give you a little back.

You don't shut down. I've seen you getting guff and give it directly back. That's when I knew. I was like, did you have older sisters?

Saw me where? This is why I said twist and turns. I've always loved Karen and wanted to be like, there's something that you're like, I will become close to this person. You see Karen like as something like beautiful in the distance you are, You're like a wonder and where is this going?

Where you just started crying?

No, But like so I always was like I want to be friends with Karen, but I don't like, Yes, I never.

That's what it is.

Yeah, I would quite get to I acted on it. That's a real thing.

Yeah, it took me a while.

It's good that I realized that I'm not a mirage. I'm an oasis.

Yeah, you're You're a real thing. You're out there. People strive for you, but once they get to you, you're not just a whispy reflection caused by hot air hitting cold air. Right exactly, thank you. A lot of times I interrupt people to clarify their thoughts.

No, I appreciate it because I was just like imagining this like black, beautiful black hair, like swirl in the desert. And then I was like, that's not Karen anymore.

It's Madonna from the Ray of Light video. That's what you're really thinking of. And then I turned into a bunch of birds.

So then we shared a room at George's wedding and that was like an electric time. I think we were both like in a raw place at that time.

Well, I had just come back from my mom sooner all weekend and uh so, and it was at the Madonna Inn, which is this kitchy fain place.

You've been there, I've driven by it and wanted to go. It's so on the way to Morongo. Hit it with the song.

More Marongo check me out June twenty first of the Virginal. I plug it every five minutes. But yes, and it's very so it's already like a sensory experience.

We were in the horse room. Yes, all horses all around, real horses. There was a what do you call it? A carousel horse hanging from the light fixture over the bed.

Yeah, like a large horse in kind of galloping pose.

There is there was a light fixture that in Austin at the Drisco Theater where at Drisco Hotel, it's a haunted place, but there was a full on stuffed horse with a lamp shade on its head and a light in its head. There was that was a lamp.

There, a full sized horse.

Yeah, and there's no one there. So I just went to a stranger and said, I'm so hungry I could eat a lamp. But it was a hard and he's like, oh, I get it.

And then he went back the next day and it was gone.

Yeah, and cigar smoke was coming out of the painting of the old owner. That's what the thing is there. Cigar smokes come out there and you can smell cigar smoke for real. They're like, yeah, you can't smoke here that you can just always smell. I'm like they're pumping it out of the walls or something.

Well, it would be a good draw. I would totally go there.

It is across the street from the only place I've ever had a legitimate ghost experience. There's like this haunted corner in Austin. Yeah. No, I don't even want.

To think about what was the other experience.

Oh, I was across the street at Buffalo Billiards painting their windows for Christmas and many things. There was people partying, and.

Is that part of your artist repertoire?

What's that is?

Painting windows like as well as you can draw, and.

Especially in warm environments because you just paint, draw it out, paint a white bass with house paint and then just get as detailed you as you want.

That's one of the most exciting things is to be eating in a restaurant suddenly, like during the holidays, like someone comes in paints on your window.

It was fun to do that. I like doing it. It may put me in the spirit simple pleasure.

I'm like, one of my greatest pleasures in life is a painted window.

I need a stop and appreciate these pleasures.

I just was hearing things and wind and peripheral things whipping by, and just more like feelings that someone was there. And then some guy came and said, hey, you're not locked in anymore. I'm an employee and I'm here now, and I'm like, oh, no, there's people partying next door. And he's like, yeah, those noises and it had stopped. I'm like oh, And I looked in there and it was like cobweb old pool tables and boxes of Christmas ornaments.

And you thought there was a fall on like I thought.

They were decorating too. That's what made it more freaky, as there was Christmas ornament and I'd never looked in there. I just was hearing, yeah, a multiple, like thirty people. It was like a party.

Oh my god.

And he said, yeah, I've heard that. I've I've seen a layer of dust on that table and I just touch it and it all rises. And there's a light under the stairs and I'll go shut the door because of the door opening would turn on the light and he'd go shut it and then go back to the bar and it's opening the lights on again. They all had stories and I'd never experienced anything. But I'm like, oh, come to think of it, a stack of pint glasses fell over while I was painting, and I'm like, oh,

You just reminded me of a phrase. You didn't say this phrase, but a phrase I don't like is come to find out conversation. She was wearing a cowgirl outfit, come to find out?

She was born and raised the Well, it is what it is. But at the end of the day, at the same old. That's when I hate same because people go same old, same old. Did you say mold, same old, same old, same old mole mole?

Fine? Wait what sing like that? Do I hate? Hmmm?

It is what it is, has to be.

That's super lame.

Oh. I got an argument with someone for describing her friends as pretty decent. I was like, really, I was like, do you miss being an Eyeland? She was like, yeah, it was pretty decent. I was like, do you miss her friends? Yeah, they're pretty decent. And I just got this Crawley feeling. Oliver, you like, what does it take to break the glass? How do we get past decent? Like? It was just everything. It was probably just I didn't like the person, honestly, but it's just like such a stifling feeling.

It's like kind of saying I can't be impressed. Yes, either that or she just didn't have a good like like vocabulary or imagination or experience.

Maybe I brought something up.

How were your friends back at home? I give them about a six.

They don't kill people, they're non murdering snooze vests. Although I can say on her behead, or who's from the Midwest or like a small town you know how like sometimes you just grow up. It's like whoever's your age and had their desk near yours? Those are your friends? Yes, Like maybe she realized when she got to a big city and had her pick. It was like, oh yeah, like I don't hate them, but they weren't great.

She was trying to say, that's an honest answer than I then like, yeah.

I just want to figure out one way that you're wrong.

But I need that.

Look, I'm willing to look at.

An oasis not so great to me. Yeah, if I think about it, If I think about my friends that from home that I start being friends with because they lived down the street or they were interested in the same thing. They were like skateboarders, I'd bet if I met them now it would be harder. I'd bet I wouldn't become friends with them really, because they're like shy. Now I'm like around people, they're more like outgoing. I

Well, I think it's before you get big ideas in your head about what you need or what, like fame or those dumb things that like only now in my let's say early forties, but we should say mid forties. I just go like, oh, I don't even know why I wanted to do any of the stupid shit in the first place, Like when I you know, when I go back home, and then I'm like, I always wanted to write everything off as like small town and stupid and simple, where it's like, no, it wasn't any of

Yeah, what's the coolest.

Yeah, but it's what I needed to do to get out, yeah and rise up. Yeah right right.

Oh.

Also, in our hotel room, Lizzie and I had a bid day. I can't remember if I told you about that or not. Did I ever say?

Aaron's nodding, Yes.

We talked about it.

No. No, I've stayed at the Madonna and they have those Japanese toilet seats.

Yes, where shoe water up your They sure do. And it's warm water. So every time we would go in to use so it's like.

Karen just wiggled her eyebrows warm water and then she walk walk a walk up with her eyebrows and then winked.

Because it was just a funny, Like every time I used the bathroom, I would laugh at the end, and then Lizzie would hear me in the other room because it was just two rooms, but I would like, I was like, I'm using the bidet, and because it wasn't a separate thing.

You were sitting on the toilet, going painting, plant painting. You were describing the Scooby Doo hallway every time you went to the bathroom.

Every time. I just want that laugh back. But you press a little button like you could order what you wanted it the direction it goes right, right er, and you could get you could get it coming frontwards.

Could hot or cool it down, like, oh that's too hot up there.

I feel like it was warm the button on the wall, wasn't it.

I want one so bad I can't even begin to tell you there. I'm one hundred percent on word with the days there with everyone using one get these stank asses out of here, I got. I think I'm quoting Martin Laurence.

We need to be washing, they ask.

Martin Lawrence got banned from Saturday Night Live because he just did stand up about women need to wash.

They ass wash, they asked. And at one point he suggests that we put a mint up our ass, or put a mint up there. I think at the time I pictured he meant ass, but he probably meant pussy. But I remember watching that real time and going, this is absolute filth.

Yeah, why do I have to watch this? And then the next day he was like in the street wearing garbage bags, fielding a gun.

He went jogging in US in like a sweating suit, not a sweatsuit, but like an all plastic suits, the ones that you wear to sweat like way more than normal. Do you know those?

I want to do that after I have a bad set.

Especially sweat it all out.

Yeah, I ate on s and l let me what I know.

Back to that weekend, everyone was talking about Mike Lawrence, and the whole time I thought they were talking about Martin Lawrence, And you were like, remember that's because it was so weird. I was like, why is everyone talking about Martin Lawrence? And I was like, oh god, Martin Lawrence is a fun like it was all nice. Yeah, it's positive, positive things people were saying. And I was like, God, he's just in the zeit guy.

He's back.

I've always said that. But the first time I saw Martin Lawrence, I'm like, this guy's not going anywhere. He's here to stay. I said, yep, totally yeah.

And the first time I saw Mike Lawrence, I was like, this is basically the same as Martin Lawrence. Yeah, it's repeat.

Yep, same Skins game, same beard, same pro Wings.

Yeah. But like, so we stayed in this room. There was like a weird electricity that we cank it was. There was a storm yep, so it was raining. We were in the surreal place. We were both emotionally raw, Yes, emotionally raw.

You had to do a speech at the Oh my God ceremony. So we were doing some homework and we were talking about feelings and like being real and saying things that matter as opposed to doing comedy.

Because you had just come off the heels of killing it.

At of killing it at my mom's funeral, she murdered at it, and I had a real uh. I could have taught a learning x an X class about how to give a speech at a public event.

Karen helped me so much because I was driving there. I had this plan, but it was like the way I would think about putting, you know, like I thought it needed like a concept. I was like, this has to be like a concept, but it didn't have to be that.

And then I scream peel away the layers, peel away. And then we wrote some Yeah, some good stuff.

You said helpful things and gave me tips before I publicly spoke on Conan. That helped a lot for real. Yeah, you're good at what.

I don't remember that.

Oh, I've forgotten at all. I'll need it again. If If and I ever do the show? Do you hate If and I ever? No, I love it.

I feel like I've never even heard that before. If and I.

If it's It's There's a line in uh in the Georgia Bailey Christmas What's Oh, It's Wonderful Life where everyone comes at the end and they all are pulling together money to bail them out, and a maid comes in and she says, my sister and I used to rewind it and watch it over and over until we understood,

Word if with a comma apostrophe and that cowboy hat hanging off the end of the end, and then the RB's cowboy hat, and then I ever. But you know what, I remember what I said, I think, which is what I say to everybody who who's about to do something big that they get freaked out about.

I thought it was special for me.

Well, I mean, it's not like a ton of people asking me that I said that. The feeling of nervousness, like that excitement and nervousness feel the same, and so you don't have to interpret it's the feeling that you're having as.

A bad thing.

Of course you're nervous, it's it matters to you. It's a big deal, that's why you're feeling it. But it's just as positive, like you don't have to interpret it as a negative, right.

I feel like that would save a lot of people from alcoholism.

If only I really do.

I feel like a lot of people like get rid of this feeling if they were like, oh my god, I'm excited instead of having this like anxiety like people say, I go into the situation I can't be around people. Like what if they interpreted that as just being like on a hot like that was the high?

Yeah, being nervous, Yeah, my mom. I actually got it from my mom the night before I taped the Bob Hope Young Comedian Special, which I taped when I was like twenty three or four, and everybody else on the Young Comedian Special was like Sue Kolinski, Margaret Smith, Paul Provenza, like comics who had done the Tonight showe ten times and then me and I was in my head. I was like, this is the ultimate situation where like I'm a fraud and it sticks out and everyone knows I

I love that. I'm glad you called her.

I know me too.

My mom would have been like, shove it down and get out. There's kidding, smile and smile smile. Yes, hm wow. Yeah. I remember having a panic like that at New Faces many moons ago, and I remember my manager was like, why are you wearing that T shirt? She was like, I thought you were gonna wear a tank top and I was like, oh my god. Like that those were like Epley's welcome.

Oh my god, that's it was so bad.

She was back stage and everyone was like what is she doing? And she's like, get your tits out there, seriously. It was I was. It was awful, and I wasn't ready to do it when it was like two thousand and seven. I was like, like scrounging together material.

But yeah, I feel like I did that in three and I feel like I wasn't ready either. Really, I just went out there and I'm like, I'm not nervous until I got on stage and I'm like, yeah, I am. I can't have no thoughts in my head. And I just started talking about the night before because I had went up after Chad Danielson. We just like went to some weird eyes wide hut party in clowns picked pocketed him and he got his wallet back empty, but they

The second one was I remember I was doing like a documentary about the new Faces that year, and I remember he'd interviewed me and I was like saying these things like everyone has a Mozart and a soliary inside that, and I like tanked and he was like standing there waiting go Mozart.

Like wait that just made me flash. Sorry, but that just reminded me that I got interviewed one time for a women in like a Women of Comedy and Television fucking thing. I don't even know. It was some documentary thing. I've never seen it.

Also, yeah, he's documented.

He loves to document. But no, this woman was asking me a questions and she's like, what do you think of women in TV right now? And I was like, I think women are carrying television right now, and she was well, what do you mean by that? And I was like oh, And then I just sat there for like seven seconds in silence, and all I can think of after was if I was an editor and I

This is one piece of sweat on your lip.

Women are absolutely carrying television right now. Well, how do you mean a lot?

Ellan?

I think that's what it was is. I was thinking of people like that. But all the shows had been canceled, so then I was just kind of like, oh, yeah, not them, well not not her, Oh yeah, Oprah, they're kind of getting ready and I don't like Alan McVeigh. Else I'm not gonna say not. That's one of those That's one of those ones that I think of like maybe every two years and I get a real bad like shiver, like, oh you weirdo.

Oh yeah, I have those memories every day. You just flinch. Yes, why did I say that to my dad when I was twelve?

Yes, I had one where yeah, or when they ask you a question that you're like, that's the last question I would ever want to answer. So tell me about your family. Are they supportive of what you do? It's like like yes, all down like a crazy, greasy black spiral hall.

Yes.

Because you don't want to be direct and say the thing you really want to say, so you have to you do a weird thing where you're dancing around what you should say, right, and it's blatantly obvious, And the more you say, the more you know it's blatantly obvious that that you're just being interact on purpose.

Or you figure it out while you're talking, like yeah, like yeah, they were there for well, actually you know what like like like then starts sweating on the inside.

Yeah, hot sweats on the inside.

They were there. And then in the beginning in the middle, I think, well that was nine question that was I'm sorry, that was my friend's dad. Then the same glass it's frames.

In the distance. It looks just like my dad.

My neighbor was supportive, is what I'm saying.

It reminds you of like when you first start doing stand up and people like, if something crazy happens in the room, call it out, And then you call it out and it fails, like why are you looking at me like that? And then you have nothing funny.

To say about it. She's made everything worse.

Yep, there's so many ways to learn in comedy. Yes, all by failing. Yeah, yes, so much failing. Oh man, we went to a comedy show the other night. I just am still shocked by how bad some people can, like, how great some people are, how terrible some people are, and how it still affects me as if it's my first week of doing stampap like the tear when a female comic gets on stage and only talks about fingering

That's the best hackle ever. You should if somebody, why are you putting me in this musician to not support a female comedian.

You are incredibly selfish and you're doing a solid disservice. Yeah, and then when someone's great, you're like you feel like it's the victory of a lifetime. It's just so crazy. I don't know.

I think it's real funny when girls talk about finger in themselves.

Lizzy, I love it. I cannot get a well, that's what I.

Thought you'd say. Morning Zoo, we are looking at traffic on the one ten.

Chris's dream is to be a Morning Zoo tejay.

You think so so finger yourself the New Ways app to get through some of that congestion.

Nate, bring one of those fingers right over to.

Ways, coming up back to classic been a while by staying apostrophe D.

Yeah, I feel like the best way for me to watch comedy is to not be performing on the show.

I still like, I like watching shows. I'm glad that I haven't got im tire of that.

Yeah, watching I feel like I was tuning it out for a while, Like if I'm on a show, I'm not paying a lot of attention to other people because I'm just like, yeah.

Right right. So it's fun to when you're not on a show to give it your full attention.

Yeah, and actually like enjoy.

Yeah, that's the position I was in because I wasn't. I went to watch April Richardson do a set that she was nervous to do, so I was like, I'll go with you.

It was trouble Like I do say her last name Richard, April Richard, I go April Richardship. I just say it every time we my friend April Richardson. I can't something in the middle. They all make fun of me, but you just said it like I say, or like siblings rich.

But also I think of jokes when I watch other and not topic related at all. When I watch other people do stand up, I think of things of my own toes, but that are not It's not like, oh, I'm going to go to that premise but do a different joke. It's to different things, but it's almost like other people stand up reminds me of the way you can do things or something.

That happens to me when I go to Lakhma.

That's why I have to keep art around me at all times, because yeah, that does.

Yeah, I'm thinking about Yeah, last night I did this like live sci fi podcast and uh, you know what, let's cut this in post strike.

You don't want to talk about it.

I know not. I started realizing as I was speaking. It was kind of like, yeah, my parents were no, my parents were not. They were no. I don't know why don't you ask them? One's dead?

Can I just say that someone else mentioned this separately? Maybe it was Georgia your joke about and I don't think it's a joke. Joke you when you yell comedy photographer. The last time I saw you was at Vince's show. Oh yeah, and there's just a part where Lizzy is there an actual joke? You say comedy photographer. A bunch of times.

I'm like, where's the comedy photographer? I want to like wake up with?

Yeah, comedy like, where were we were? It looked like we were in the den. It was like the back of that restaurant. Vance's show and there was like it's packed enough to wear twenty five people. That makes it a full room, but it looks like some grandpa's hobby room. And when you said that, where's the comedy photographer? It was real fun And then Matt started taking photos. Yeah, it was really funny fun.

Yeah, that's like a new thing. Well, because I always think about it, I'm like, why do I have to have all these gross pictures myself like expressing these Yeah, yeah, why not just one from down below?

From the Yeah, always looking up. If you do a show at the Virgil, the angle is always the absolute worst because the stage is so high and it's so loud.

Yes, this isn't like so you can go through it later and be like, this is the best one that I took during this Well, also.

It was like this weird dance where she kept squatting and standing and doing all these like her own comedy photographer poses or I was like, you are not part of the show.

Yes, And sometimes I appreciate it. I'm like, oh cool, someone took a picture from that show. It was a fun night. I have a memory. But at a certain point it's like, here are the pictures from last night and it's like a stop motion yes on my set, Oh my god, like different different horrified faces.

Yes, it's just fat, fat, fat fat.

Yes, I know that's the reason I put the like you have to approve it on your timeline or whatever. But then I was like, if I die, who's gonna like how am I going to get nice things said about me on my Facebook wall? I won't be there to approve it, but like there is that.

You're right, you have to give someone my last thing as I'm like leaking on a kitchen floor or whatever has said undo that.

Do that privacy setting.

You got to get on Facebook, en I.

Eat, Karen, this is your last I'll do it. I'll do it if you just give me power of attorney and then then I'll clear all your.

Ship passwords in a safe or something, yes, and unlock it and be like this is the password is like dead c l K for the padlock. Yeah, and we'll get in there, we'll take out the password and we'll allow everything on the timeline.

I honestly do need you guys to burn any notebook because I have like dressers full of old notebooks filled with like poems and shit. I need that gone after Are you sure? Yes? Well, you'll you read it.

I want to sleep with them, make a Karen Clegareff quilt.

They're not good. I think you'd be incredibly disappointed.

Would remember when you approached me with the idea of your dream blanket? Yes, I'm sorry, I never I'm sorry.

Okay done. It was a really low point in my life. But no idea because the way that I came about was I was living with a Minneapolis comedian. We had a falling out, we broke up. I had no comforter. But I was in a production of six Degrees of Separation where the Master Builder I played the daughter. This was back in the day ice waiting. I still had it to pass as a brown student.

Why aren't you wearing a tank to wear the tank top?

Change? Change?

God, that's sad. I remember I went out and I was like, I'm really depressed. And I was like, oh my god, why did I say that? I had been talking about the comedy is the truth? And then I was like, so why not tell the truth? I was like, I don't know what I'm doing here, Like I kind of just like came out with like some horrible truth that no.

Thing, because that's what real comics do, that's what real comics do.

That's so nice, it's true, that's not whatever. So anyway, so I slept with these big sheets of muslin. It was actually the Master Builder. Remember my sister directed this like multi media production of the Master Builder. She was like, I want one spoken word artist one dancer You It was Hilary I Love You, but it was a fucking disaster. There was a scene in this play where my sister was like, I want you to walk to the back

It was all like I thought you were gonna say, they said, I'll have.

To Really, he was always mad, and anytime we did I did something that my sister would come to me and be like, Dad's mad.

You did that thing.

Dad's mad. You were swearing, Dad's mad you did that dance. Or I was like, I don't know how to handle listen.

To me too. I got in trouble after a band concert where I guess I was playing drums and I like whispered to someone during the concert, and after it, I was like, why won't my parents talk to me? I still have this memory and they would not speak to me at all, like in the mini vund in the right home. I was like what what? And then my sister was like, Dad said, you talked during the concert. They were so ashamed, and I was like what I didn't.

It was just like what if you were saying, what's the next song? Or do you have an extra read or something something important?

I know I was with the band.

They didn't get it amposed to.

Be as I played. Chair tells over Richard, I love the timpany process. Did you really play that?

Yeah?

I love the power of the tympany and the symbol.

They're very cool.

So good?

Did you play both?

Yeah? I did all percussion stuff.

Yeah you held down a whole percussion.

Okay, but but I did, like learn every instrument. I loved it. Yeah. I love drums, but.

Can you fully just play a drum if there's a drum kit. Can you just start?

Because my thing was my parents were like, are you going to quit? And I was like, no, I'm not going to quit. I promise I'll stick with it. So they brought me a snare drum to start, and I was in a play or like a scene in like a high school acting class where I needed a drum. I left my snare drum at school overnight and someone stole it, and I never wanted to tell my parents, so I just said, yeah, I'm not into it anymore. My drum is at school. Like I felt bad that

Yeah, you were already a comic that was ten years ago or so.

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, did you a parade, Chris?

I saw it. No, wait, were you wearing that like jumpsuit? That was me slippers in a Viking helmet. I loved you.

But the sheet things. Back to the sheets. So I was sleeping with these pieces of muslin and I started writing my dreams down on them in black sharpie, and they became these big like dream sheets. I have three. They're really vague, and at a certain point people were like, you should try to sell these, like this could be a thing, and I was like, yeah, I guess you could sell it like in a kit, like a sheet

It's like you're on Shark Tank. I'm in.

I'm going to give you fifty percent.

Yes, I've already patented.

In one condition. The sheets come with categories like bizarre, motivational, different kind of dreams, and you put you wake up and you put it in the right category.

Well, these are actual dreams, sleep dreams.

Okay, I'm out. I'll give you thirty percent. I've never I don't have them, so I feel like my brain isn't all.

I want to show a picture, but like if you if you read them, they're terrified. Like I was going through. It was like, you know, I shake my mother, but she's a dummy on fire and I can't wake her up. Like, and I'm sleeping with that these sheets. But they were my comforter and then.

Yeah, there's something to that sleeping underneath those words.

Yes, And I always thought, like, you know what, I'm gonna save my inventions for.

Something else, for non podcasting anytimes.

I always want words everywhere though, you know.

Yeah, I like that idea. I just didn't know what I would add to the design of them. They'd have to be paper like, kind of scratchy sheets, right, yeah, thread count on these, well, they're actually made of almost notebook papers.

So I can't get to sleep. I've insomnia now, But I know what all my dreams are. Although I did have a dream the other Night's hard to interrupt you, but it just hit me that all of my front bottom teeth were rotting out and just so one by one I would touch one and they would go crazy loose and I would pull it out.

That's every other dream I have. It's my teeth falling out.

I've read that that's a fear of pregnancy thing. Really, Yeah, there was a dream interpretation book that I read that linked that to pregnancy.

Oh weird, So I think I've gotten someone pregnant. I just feel like I am grinding my teeth.

I think I'm definitely.

I wake up and I like, go, oh, yep, I think my teeth are loose. It's not like, oh, I think I just made a baby.

I wake up with mouthfuls of tooth powder. But from I.

That's the most horrifying thing you've ever said. I know I got a tooth cloud.

But I wish you could see the picture of my horrible because they have you seen Shane McGowan's teeth, the lead singer of the Pogue, So he has a crazy terrible.

He just got him fixed.

I know he got him Visilne, No, he got.

They He had like one anchor tooth up front and they just attached Yeah, some dentures to the anchor to the anchor.

Tooth by Lizzie.

What if my dream interpretations were just to bait you to confess things. Tell me, Karen, are you pregnant? I hear them that dream.

I guess I am pregnant when I come to think of it.

But yeah, so I think I wanted. My idea was that it would maybe look like notebook paper at the time, trying to think of a concrete design.

Yeah, yeah, maybe that would be like yelling.

Almost like thirty times never heard back.

I was in a dark place of being. I was busy. I don't remember, but he.

Was grinding his teeth at home.

I'm still but.

Someone was like, you should talk to Chris Fairbanks, because.

Yeah, I just thought anytime someone asked me to do anything like a logo, even or I'm like, I want to just say, I'm just pretty much draw things, illustrations. I wouldn't know how to form it, like to do the sheet thing. I don't know. That's so big, it's bigger than all of us.

I tell you my idea for she, well, your sheet should otherwise your feet will stick out they are. There should be enough room for all three of us.

Yeah, and your grandparents.

I had, just like Charlie Buckett you. I was on a really, really boring date one night at Fred's sixty two on Vermont, and we had.

Gotten the movies Romantic.

We went to the movies, and then we went to this diner, thank You, and I was sitting there and I was so tired and so bored of this guy that I was dating, and I ordered like eleven thirty night, and I'd ordered pancakes, and when the waitress came and put the pancakes down in front of me, I immediately

And going to sleep back when you were drinking No, but.

I Karen, that is beautiful.

And then I was like, I want to make pancake sheets. And then I told my friend Robert Lee, who was the prop master at Ellen, who couldn't truly and legitimately make anything anything, which we made him a half an hour before the show started one time, make us a melted Richard Simmons, And he did it. It was crazy, and he was so mad at me, but he did it. But I went to him and said, I had this vision last night, and he was like, I can make you those, and literally he had a whole plan of

Actually pad butter pillow.

Yeah, yes, that's exactly right. But I wanted them. I wanted them real. Of course, you would want a butter to put your head right on.

But saw a white noise machine.

Don't we all see it? It would be so warm, they'd be like hotcake, hotcacakes.

Just in aunt Jemima auscill fan coming out of her open mouth, her teeth. It's a propeller and as.

You pull that top sheet over your shoulder, you just go no, no not and you eat those pancakes. Sleep, Oh, wipe it on your pit pat of butter pillow, hold it under the fan for a little bit syrup.

I ended up being an inspiring date.

It is interesting, like thinking of how the furniture, just everything we use, like how it came to be h how did it come to be? I was sitting in therapy the other day in the waiting room and talking to my therapy bird. No, but I was I was looking. I was looking at a chair, and I was like, why do we sit in there? Like I thought it was like when I wanted a therapy And he was like, what's on your mind? I was like, honestly, I was

Did he have any answers for you? Well?

I realized that what I was really thinking about was death. I don't remember how I came to that, but I was like, I was sitting there thinking, how do we know how we want to live our lives? How do we know this is the best way to set? And am I just gonna how much of my time am I going to spend in that chair?

Right?

That's gonna result.

When we all know it's more comfortable to lay flat under the dirt. That's what this is about.

Wouldn't you rather be in a casket than a chair?

Ultimately, like when you go.

To someone's house and You're like, there's so many throw pillows and like how did that? Oh?

No, come on, people who their real beds have like five pillows deep, like you know how the pillows go halfway down the bed. I just that is a person that I have no idea what their life is like, because my life is exact opposite of five pillows deep.

Perfect.

Why is it you?

No, I don't have five pillows deep. I have four pillows and then one decorative. But I use it for other things as well.

But do you want to say what that thing is?

I'd rather not. I might bail you out. I have a pillow just for folding in half and putting between my knees.

Really, oh, I see.

But not in a dirty way.

There is a japan animation character and a hole in it. Now, I just like my hips are weird, and so I like to put cam a pillow in there, right memory phone fold it like together. It feels great right to sleep if I put a pillow in there, I'm just just kicking and kicking and screaming all night.

When I was a house cleaner, a maid, I clean this one woman's house. Her name was Francoise, and she had a very romantic bedroom. Like everything was like a rud She was like like waiting, always waiting for her husband to come home from business. But the pillows they were like these like silk like for me. They were

This, Yeah, you're just describing what has to be on a rotating heart shape.

Yes, and like a vanity with like a golden hair brush.

It was like that kind of like van of White's childhood bedroom, or.

Like the scene from foul Play where Dudley Moore, remember do you remember foul Playing? The best movie ever? I remember to remember Dudley Moore the Goldiehuns like take me home because it's because the Albinos following her and they go into his house and you pull it's the best movie. He pulls down the Murphy bet Like she goes into the bathroom to check out the window to see if this guy's still following our and meanwhile he pulls down

Isn't there a little of a guy that was in a lot of movies back then on a little person? Yeah, that was Balbd.

Billy his name is Billy. I do we foul Play is a movie. So my friend Janet Nielsen's father ran Nielsen freight lines and so because of that they had everything first. So the Nielsen's had a VCR in nineteen seventy six. What yes, So her mom would videotape movies for us and edit out the dirty parts so we could watch anything. We watched ten, We watched foul Play. We watched all these movies that were on TV when we were like in first grade.

A twenty minute version of Clockwork Orange.

Oh, it's mostly about the furniture.

That's yeah.

We got to watch all those movies because she didn't have to worry about it. And we watched the Sean Cassidy TV special, which was amazing. But anyway, what a hard throb?

Oh romantic? Have you ever been on to someone's like do you think bedrooms? Have you ever been to a surprise bedroom where you get there and you're like, this is not what I expected at all. You go home with somebody and I don't even mean like in a romantic way, but you just watch and you're like, I had no idea that like this would be your aesthetic kind of Yeah.

Yeah, it's usually in the way it's like, oh wow, you're funny and it's interesting. Why is your room so boring?

That?

I always had that feeling of if a guy's bedroom is decorated a little too much, like if say the comforter matches the curtains, I'm just like goodbye. Oh yeah. If there's if there's a thing where it just seems like there's a lot of thought in me in the design an organization of a room's Deckore. Yes, I just am like, I don't.

Guy's gonna snap at me. It's gonna like say no, no, no, never know, don't put it.

There, don't put it there. Coasters, yeah, either that or.

A purple pillow. Purple.

He just likes me. He likes me, and it's fag haggyway.

Yeah. I dated someone. I went to his house and I was like, what are these orange chairs? These like Orange designer. I was like taken aback by it. And then he was like, oh, I had someone help me with this room, Like he had someone help him so it would look more presentable.

And you had help with this. Now this is.

It's just like but there was something kind of nice and adult about that, like, Okay, he could see that, you know he wanted he wanted it to be a more welcoming place for people and needn't know.

Yeah, I guess that's put some effort.

Into think when I show people my area, I just point out the things that I will defend and the rest is that painting's cool, my dad made that. Well, the rest of yeah, make a claw, yeah, yes.

Is he a clockmaker?

He made furniture for a little while. There was like a year where he's an upholsterer, a radio guy, and then furniture maker. But it was like it was all about death. It was all in the end.

It all is.

Re upholstered the inside the caskets. No, No, I think.

I'd like to restate then if I see too many textiles, That's what I'm talking about, Prince. If we're going with the tapestries, yes, if there's wallings, if there's ever a kimono anywhere. Just I'm just saying, to keep.

Your eye out a tapestry.

Yeah, I'd like people to be concerned and focused on other things besides you know, yes, matching uh, matching textiles. Right, maybe that makes me a bad person.

Well, reserve judgment, thank you you. Yeah, it seems a.

Therapy about that therapy bird got me for twenty minutes if you remember saying it, because it's.

Pretty much the best.

This is nice.

Are we done?

Guys?

This is nice.

We're at the conclusionary times.

Just put out her hand in both of us like she's like.

We're holding me over.

It's no, I feel like we need to do something drastic with our we're holding you.

Oh god, let's pull out the Ouiji board. Aaron, dim the lights.

No, I saw the Conjuring two yesterday. Really just based on a true story, and it all started with a Wigi board. Do not if you have a Buigi board in your house, throw it away. Really, do not use scary, don't do it.

I don't. I never did. And I'm like, I don't believe in stuff, but let's not do that. Light as a feather piss.

No, no, no, what do.

You feel about them? Now? You feel like it opens you up as a channel.

No, no, no, I feel like it opens up a channel to a thing you can't control. Later, I think it's bad, bad spirits, bad news.

Yeah, you don't mess with it, the cult because it's also.

A twelve year old that you know what I mean. It's always like does someone don't like me? Or whatever? And then suddenly, as you'll see, slender Man is standing behind you. Oh my god, yeah, go see the conjuring table.

Candy man. There's all types.

We need to talk more about the spirit world at some point, Okay.

On that other podcast, Oh, yes.

Yes I do. I'm doing a show and Karen featuring Karen kilgart Gara. I'm doing a show Lizzie Cooperman and friends.

I know about this. Yeah, what's invited on the I.

Would love for you to come.

Where is it?

Lots of pressure and Chris throws.

Up it is your will there be oh god, there will be a bottle of epicac there. I don't know why I'm it's it's June twenty first. I'm gone. Sorry, No, come on Austin really? Oh Tuesday? No, I live on Wednesday, Yes, if you just go you got a different Sure, I'll do ten minutes to eight pm.

Who else is on the show?

I No Okay featuring Well first of all, hosted by Katie Crown and Davy Johnson, who are hilarious, hilarious, inventive, like just having them alone will make it, Yeah, an event that's.

Just them alone.

Please come support me. So Karen Kilgara, tery Co Garra, Nicki Glazer Nikki Glazer from Not Safe with Nicki Glazern Abramson. Oh, he's hilarious, so funny. He has a show called seven Minutes in Purgatory that's just the best. And Raj Desai, who's one of my favorite comedians and joke writers. And it's happening at eight pm six twenty one at the Virgil and I'd love to see you there.

What's six? Oh?

Yes, I thought you're giving shows one at eight the other twenty one am choose wisely.

One's a recap show, one's a recap of the other. Yeah, that should be a really fun good show. And if you haven't been to the Virgil, that's a fun theater that always says it come any then.

Dons always And it's produced by Victory lap. Oh they're so nice.

They're son. I really like those guys.

Yes, Sharon and Anna, so yeah, very cool for you to come.

I will come, I will come. I am now for my thing. I was going to talk about our friend Tom that yeah, maybe his GoFundMe, but I can't find it. Yes, should have had it queued up.

We have a friend. You know him better than I do. I do. Yeah, he's I have good feelings about this person.

Me too. He's a positive, spiritual, funny, sweet skateboarder kid who has been gone for a couple of years, and he's sick. And we've been messaging with his girlfriend because it seems like it is some sort of yeah, what would you category category?

I think he has an autoimmune.

Right atom he's gonna say audio.

By the description that might be a tick born illness.

And she said she said he did have a tick at one point.

Okay, so I think he has lime disease. But I feel like, you know, that's for them to figure out. But testing is really inaccurate, so a lot of people don't know they have it and go years and.

Years think of detailed message diseases. Yeah, because they call it the Great imitator.

Yes, a lot of people will be like wheelchair about like think they have mss als and then they start treating for lime disease and they get better.

Maybe they called syphilis the great imitator, but this.

They call that. Okay, you can't take that away from life, but.

It's similar to what syphilis did. I guess, yes, it's Yeah, you're in pain and your feelings are so I wish I could find Tom what's his name? Go fund me.

His name is Tom Rob v R A B. Is that Rob.

Rob or I've said Rab. I've said Rob. If it's Rob, there should be an oome lot over the A.

I mean, make sure to ask on his GoFundMe, is Arab or Rob?

Find it?

So he isn't He has not been well. He's sounds like he's been misdiagnosed a lot. Yeah, he's suffering. He can't speak or is that he can't He can't can't think.

I've tried to text him over the past couple of years and he said it hurts to even text. A doctor messed me up. I can't talk like it's all. But finally is his girlfriend put up this gofund me and it's I'll put a link to it in the description of this episode because I can't find it right now. It's driving me batty.

Well. Also, if people know GoFundMe and Tom rob right, yeah, then I bet that'll get them some Google results if they if they have the money to donate.

That actually takes you to pay Less Shoes website. But it's a whole.

But there are some amazing flip flops this season.

Yes, amazing.

Oh, Chrys will do a link. That'd be it. That'd be a nice thing today.

I'm glad you brought that up.

Yes, I had to. Yes, what are you going to talk about? We got conclude?

Oh you mean in terms of a plug.

Yeah.

Uh oh, well then let me say, let's see if I have a show coming up, doe do missus dash? I want to remind everybody to use missus dash. Oh, I'm I'm going to do the Virgil first, Yes, imitation life.

Instead of salt.

Oh. I'm going to be on the show that is on Monday, June twenty seventh at the Improv Lab at ten pm. I can't remember. I think it's called Everybody's Great. I can't remember. I apologize to the people that are hosting that show. But I love the improv Lab. It's so fun and uh so I'm going to be there June twenty seven at ten pm. Also, the show Roadies on Showtime is premiering Sunday the twenty six at ten.

Yeah, are you on that? I auditioned for that?

Did you really?

Yeah? Yeah?

No, I just we watched the trailer for the show at work about one hundred times because the idea of all these beautiful models being Rody's is so hilarious. It's like, so I can't wait to see what it actually is because the trailer makes it.

It's like twelve models and like a unibomber.

Is just like two different characters in it. Really didn't get it.

I don't know if you should be upset about that. We'll see.

I knows a reality show, but the script's kind of funny.

Well, we'll see.

And Chris doesn't have anything to plug. Thank you so much for joining us.

I'll be in Norfolk, Nebraska next week for something called The Great American Comedy.

Oh well, that's good.

And then I'm in Austin, Texas the weekend after that at the Velveto Room.

Eyelashes are like their own lampshades.

I need to curl them. They're too straight. My visions always blurry because no lashes are right there.

If you want to do it right now.

Maybe let's have a hair time. Okay, we gotta stop it. Crimp this ship you've been listening to. Do you need a ride?

D y n a r