Ep. 81 - Fred Armisen

I leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. Give us time and aid, termino and gay.

We want to send you off InStyle.

We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris.

Fairban and this is Karen Kilgaiff.

We're driving westbound on Santa Monica Boulevard.

He is my place of cement pillars.

There's a lot going on, guys.

In the backseat.

We have a guest, the special guests this week.

Special because he's one of my oldest friends but not dearest, So that's a special situation.

It doesn't happen that oftentimes we start the podcast with a thinly veiled would almost sound look like an insult.

That's what I choose to do. It's kind of nineties comedy.

We we have a guest today that's a dear friend.

That's the nineties comedy uppercut. Oh yeah, yeah, that he and I are used to.

Yeah, the old one to punch with an edge.

That's right. Wouldn't you say, dearest friend is overrated anyway? Yeah, my dear friend. It means is it's a lot of like boring times. Yeah, puzzles, puzzles just at the doorway of somebody's house, going right, That was really nice. Glad you did that. Okay, Well, I guess I might see tomorrow then. Yeah.

And if you don't, if you die first, know that you were dear to me.

And it always smells like doi lacing here we're talking about grandma's.

Yeah, being friends with grandma. My grandma's are the dearest.

But that's not who it is, no, gentlemen, it's Fred Armison, Fred Armadsen.

Hi, everybody. Karen was right. I've known Karen for a very long time. And yeah, how long?

How long since?

Details? Two thousand? Maybe two thousand actually is it? I think it's two thousand. That's when I first moved to la and in that year is when I started going to Largo, So I would say two thousand maybe two thousand and one, but I actually think it's two thousand.

See because I was gonna say eighty nine, So that's weird.

What year was it, Fred, when you went to a dance place and took dance classes like tap clances, tap classes and made a.

Video of it. That was in nineteen ninety eight?

Okay, I remember that.

Yeah, I did that in nineteen ninety eight.

So it's weird. I've known Fred longer than you. No, just let's see.

I equate the internet watching a video as a friendship.

But it is a friendship. It is because I'm so shallow, I'm so thin in personality that that's all that matters to me.

If people watch your video, yeah.

That's that's all I need to know.

You have much more friends.

Then, Yeah, I've got lots of friends. And Chris, I guess I performed with you in at Bumber Shoot. Yeah.

I don't know if we were on the same show, but we were certainly on the same venue during the same weekend.

That's in Seattle. Is where that happens.

Yes, yes, And a lot of people mistakenly say bumper Shoot.

Boy, are they wrong? It's bumber Shoot with a B.

Does it even exist anymore? I think it does.

I asked exactly the same question it does.

It's going it's going great. They have comedians there. I'm sure they all enjoy it. Huh, it's just we aren't invited.

Oh I see, Oh that's fine. I had my time there.

I had my time there as well.

It was a great.

Now it's like we can actually go back and do a reunion. That's how long it's been.

That's right, the year you were in it and I was in it.

Also with Flight of the Concorde. Uh, Mark Maren uh.

Uh you uh, there's some other big year people.

Wait, let's let's go back to the wh is the Flight of the Concords. Yes, hello, you know it's all right, Okay, who's the next one?

It was Mark Marin?

Hey, fuck it?

Why why? Why? What if you want to do that? Why?

Why?

That's the why of it all.

Greg Barrett was there.

I only know God damn it.

He said about your time.

I'm checking you. No, I can't do it. I can't do it. You can't you were there.

You sounded like a minute, I'm taking your che wallet.

No, I can't do it. Yeah, I can't. No, dude, you're forty yeah something like that.

Yeah, because you're forty, man, you're forty Tompkins pft.

I'm a grown up.

I'm a grown man. That's that's all I got to Jamie Tree Martin.

No, I'm gonna just.

For why there's two there's two here, now there's three. Ah, but that's the same one.

What about this free Tostler.

Circle? Is this a circle?

Was there that year?

I don't know.

I don't know. I want to give up sometimes, you know. That's it. That's all I got.

Nick Schwartzen, was he there, Jackie Mason.

I could do. I could do. I think I could do. Nick talking about the night before, like, OK, woke up. That's it, Jackie.

Yeah, lost my necklace?

What am I eating? That's all I got?

Thank you, thank you very much, really good.

When Tike and I had a cat, I lived with Tig for a while and we had a cat, and then Nick came over.

I tell you about this where the cat was sick.

And its face was swollen and take and I neither of us had money, and I was really worried about it. Nick cat money, and he said, well, I'll I'll take the cat to the bat. And he came over and he looked at the cat's and and they turned around and farted on my cat's head. He just farted in the cat's face to where the cat reacted, and then he said, oh, your cat.

Has feline aids and then which.

He farted on the cat's face and then and then decided that the cat had aids.

What's two favorite drips. But then the cat did end up dying of aides.

He was right in his diagnosis.

It was a few years later, and I'm not saying that's funny, but it was at the time.

I think feline aids is definitely funny.

It was I missed that.

Cats of cats. You will not ever see a cat laughing at that or anything. What's terrible about that fart is that animals, you know, cats don't understand human language, but that is one piece of language you understand that it clearly insulted by like a smell and a sound like it is like, it's amazing. It's like the one bridge to animals communication. And they're like, oh, we get I get what that is.

That's an inner special inso special.

Everyone knows where the part is.

Everyone gets odor.

Yeah, old shooting oder at someone is like animals across the world. They're like, oh, we got it.

There's no animal culture whereouts a compliment.

Yeah, I'll never forget that reaction that cat.

Also, I saw him walk into a spider web once and he acted like a human like.

He went and looked at his Bodycy if there's a spider on him?

Really?

He was like, oh no, and he he was a gifted He was a gifted cat.

That's the only in that situation is where all animals in their heads say god damn it.

Even cats, everyone's got up by spider webs.

No one likes them.

So you were recently in South America?

Yes, I was in Colombia. What were you doing shooting an episode of documentary? Now?

Oh cool?

What documentary?

We did? Like a Giro dreams of Sushi thing of like a sort of Colombian food one.

Yes, is it also Chef's Table?

Yeah? Actually I would say it's more like Chef's table.

I love chefs.

Yeah, it's pretty great.

Cook that thing with the wood is that the one you're there?

Was one I saw where they cooked something in dirt, buried the Argentinian guy, Yes, buried food. I was like, what is this guy doing?

He look, he didn't look South American right, Like he looked like a white guy.

Yeah.

I loved that one.

Yeah wow, yeah, that's so cool. Yeah, so that was really nice.

The ground like a Killner something.

Yeah, the light a fire over it. You know, maybe they just did it for the camera and they're like, let's pretend like we do this and we don't really we just yeah, we'll just be oh yeah, we bury it. So are left by the way, we're passing the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Yes, where Johnny Ramone is buried. It's got a really cool uh statue there. Ramone is here as well.

I would think they'd be in New York. Aren't they from New York?

Yeah? But you know how like New Yorkers are, like they all want to go to like Miami or California, you know, to die. I'm gonna do with the palm trees, you know.

Yeah, I'm going to do my upper my torso west coast, my.

Legs east coast.

Oh good, idea, just ashes, just please everybody.

Oh you're gonna split it up. Sure, ashes are just at the actual torso, like you're gonna leave it.

Like, oh, that's a better idea. You're right, Maybe you should do that. Just taxidermy them.

Or just go split yourself.

Everyone should get an equal I'm symmetrical. Let's take advantage of that. Yeah, right down the middle.

Full body part like a tapeworm.

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna do an open casket and it's gonna be just the torso and it'll be like, like, what, what's the problem.

You're gonna be.

Like confrontational art, like, yes, that's what death looks like.

Yeah, deal with look at it.

It'll be a recording of you saying that. That'll play as people passed.

I might hire an actor to.

Do it, and then you can sit in the audience and watch, Yes, my skull give your own eulogy.

Yeah, in South America, you speak Spanish, Well don't you.

My mom's Venezuelan, so I speak Spanish.

Oh yeah, I heard you at the taco truck.

Knew I was showing off.

Were you Yeah? Were you doing Carystolian Bliss?

I skipped it.

I went right for when he was like tacos.

Yeah, but then he started asking really specific questions and I I got lost.

But what is the expiration date on that manning is man?

Stuff like that? Yes?

There specific. She seemed very frustrated. She but you have to do no chase con platino.

I know I want to do that, I really do it. You will.

What is it?

It is a show that I still don't know why I was asked.

But it's a.

Spanish speaking I think, very popular in South America, even more so than Mexico, but also Mexico. And it's a there Jimmy Fallon type show. And the set and everything looks like a regular talk show, but the host has clown makeup, yeah, and a pink wig. But he's very funny. And I he shaved my mustache during the show. That was my idea, but he shaved it into it in a Hitler mustache.

Sorry, how how how does someone that's a hard thing to shave somebody?

I know? But then he said, oh, Charlie Chaplin. It was fine. Everything was fine.

It is an American show.

Show.

It was It took place here in Los Angeles, but the viewers of it that are mostly in Mexico, and so.

All the lines are getting blurry and it's all getting.

I don't like it. I'll say it.

And sushi here and not being Japan I just interrupted, your friend.

It's okay, it's okay.

I'm sorry, No, it's okay.

What about sushi in Japan?

Just how the lines are all getting blurry, It's exactly. You can have sushi here, you can have sushi, you know, in Italy, and.

It's gonna have a hamburger on a fishing boat in fu Bai.

It happens.

I don't know that that's true.

And never going up towards Sunset Boulevard. Yeah, I love La so much for real, I really do. I've always loved it. And for some reason, I feel like Sunset Boulevard is like the center, that's like the kind of main street of La.

Wells, and it goes all the way through east side of the west side.

All the way.

Oh yeah, I feel like I don't even live here because I live at the dumb Beach.

Yeah, that's right, all the way out.

Wait, Fred, Now, when you live here and you would go to sun Set Boulevard, what was what's like the first place you think of that you would go to the mean streets of Sunset Boulevard.

Like when I first moved here and stuff. Sure, I remember somewhere in between, like where Amiba is and like that whole uh.

Ask I'd say, be somewhere Ivar sunset.

Sunset and Ivar.

You would straight to Ivar seafood restaurant.

And then as it dips into like Silver Lake and all that. It's just that's a nice feeling, you know, the little places you can get breakfast. Yeah, I like it. And then and then going west, I like it when you just end up in Beverly Hills, you're like by the hotel and everything.

It's a it's a higher cut of person.

Maybe foreign. Maybe they're from you know, China, or uh, maybe they're of Saudi. No, Karen said, a higher upset high high.

It's fun to pretend racism.

It's pretending. It's pretending.

It's like it's like blah blah, it's like blah blahing or demons. What is it. It's it's like exercise, exercising.

Yeah, yeah, that's what podcasting is all about.

I mean, chasing away any real thoughts that maybe would happen to me like that, but they don't.

Hey, while we're doing this, really quick, everyone out there listening listen to podcasts. Get out there, get a podcast listen please. You know we do this for free, but people should start getting paid for it. Get out there, tell your friends that there's a podcast out there for everybody, any podcast you know, and if you like it, rate it on iTunes.

What's bread what's your favorite podcast?

Yeah, there's one called the trap Set and it's a drummer who interviews other drummers. But yeah, he loves it and it's the drummer Interviews of the dru But there are no drums in the room, so it's not like people show off what they can do. They just talk about what their experiences and it's really cool. Oh yeah, and who's the host this This guy named Joe Wong, that's his name, and was in a band. He's been in a number of bands. He's been in a number

Crazy right like Morning Zoo Radio.

Nothing like that. And he also doesn't do duos, which is like the worst way to do a podcast, which is like sorry, sorry, sorry for we're also energy and.

Comparing us to do with my traffic really rough?

You put me kind of thing I do.

Everybody knows, this is what he does.

We were already talking about Karen and I were saying, we need some tough love.

We haven't had any of them on the show.

Now, when you were on a show like that, a drumming show, do you do since there aren't drums, do people end up playing.

Their chest the way drummers love to do and stuff like that?

No, it's it all is like what are your influences? Who did you used to listen to? Who did you want to be? And what is your drum set like? And where where you know? Uh, what's it like dealing with bass players like that kind of thing.

So if you don't play drums, maybe it would be like my future skateboarding podcast kind of boring.

Right if you if you don't for drummers, they love it. It's of course you know they love it. It's like that's so such a specific audience.

Yeah, I like that. I like gets so specific with Yeah, I'm gonna do his skateboarding.

Yeah. I was almost gonna make a joke like it's not for fans of blank, Like I was gonna think of a teeny bopper band, But I am. You could instantly like aide yourself by like what reference you use, and I don't know the right reference, you know what I mean, Like, I don't have that person to go like, it's not like a blank podcast, Like I don't know who to bring up. Who is like no, you know, no, it would not work justin Bieber wouldn't work.

Bieber wouldn't even And I can't even think of the one that would work.

I don't even know if it doesn't. No, we don't generate literally don't.

Know, don't know whatever there is out there, there's a reference that someone would be like you, guys, why didn't you say Blank? I don't know.

It's a it's a band called Blank, yeah, and we've never heard of it.

I really really don't know. You can't say zach Efron, can't you can't.

I think he's like gonna win an oscar soon.

You can't.

You know who would know?

Is like my niece, my sister, my niece for Halloween last year was one of the girls in a show on I think the Disney channel called Descendants or something.

Huh.

But I know that as a band, and I know that as like a couple other things.

So I was like, sorry, what did she dress up? It's the weirdest thing.

I've heard this before. I think I've heard this as a reference before, and you're right. I was like, this is the.

Joke I'm doing these days.

No, it's something else. Yeah, and it's also not the movie, not the new the movie from four years ago or whatever.

It's little girls with kind of Madonna's style, lace in their hair and blacknail polish of doing stuff I'm not even.

Sure what they do.

Yeah, it's something specifically you would not mention on the Drumming podcast.

No, never, but I mean to have it be so popular. She dressed up as it for Halloween and I.

Did not know.

It doesn't have a weird feeling. You're like, I officially don't know what this is.

Because when we were growing up, the stuff that you liked was adult because there weren't things specifically for kids really except for like the game Operation.

And a couple other things. Right, it was like five things.

Yeah, we all shared that.

We were forced to share things we didn't even like.

Yeah, Fred, you ever go to the ninety nine cent store when you lived in La.

I think I went in there once thinking I could maybe something for like pots and pans kind of thing, and I did not like it. I was very It was a fine place. I don't mean to say anything bad about it, but there's nothing that I wanted.

I made the mistake of getting a bag of limes there.

Do not buy produce at if you looking for cann.

Goods and and some new type of for alays I took Spanish in college. Nice and then then but don't get any don't get any produce.

Yeah that would make sense. Yah, Yeah it was bad lines.

But while we were on this, let's talk about college. Guys out there, go to college to get out there.

Apply, Tell you never know about college.

Tell your friends you never know all over the country, and get it. It is the best.

Graduate school, junior, whatever kind of college you can find.

You know, apply to an IVY league one you never know.

You don't know students. They need students, just like you need to learn.

I mentioned what I know about financial aid applicating.

That's another that's another level. But it's easy. You fill out a thing and they go, okay, we're gonna we're going to give you your education for free.

Here's how much my parents make and you can lie.

Yeah they make five dollars. They go, great, he us free.

Money, easy, great, because they benefit.

Because then you get smart and you go work for the government or whatever. Everyone wins. Get out there, Get out there.

What if there was a podcast I taught you everything you needed to know in.

College, I would call it prep for Prep for College the podcast.

That'd be a good title, Cold, Cold, and spelled out.

That's a long podcast. That that'd be a very It's a lot of talking.

Yeah, for some people would take like seven years.

So much to cover.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you took wayter off to go skiing, especially, did you ever.

Fred live in for reels in Portland? Is that a dumb question?

No, it's not a dumb question. I do live there.

I haven't I asked.

Yeah, don't ask me that. No, I I I'm there every summer and I've been there every summer for the last you know, whatever six years or something, so so in a way, yeah, I mean there for quite a few months.

So the shows, it's the show hasn't been on quite six years. Yeah, oh yes, oh.

Cats, which is the sixth seasons? Just I know it feels like yesterday for me. For me, it does. It feels very new, went very quickly.

Yeah, it's uh so you would if they're already for a little while before.

No, no, no, i'd been there a lot. Yeah, when we started doing the show, then I started staying there.

It would be so fun to have an excuse, like anytime a job comes up, you get to move to a place that is in la or New York. It's so fascinating to me, right, I love that idea where it's almost like you get to go and just live.

In a normal town with normal people. They'll see that.

That's like for a while, I agree. And then you also, if it's enough time, you kind of get to know it a little bit, so that if anyone ever says to you, hey, I'm from this place, you can actually say with some confidence, oh yeah, I know what that's like.

You could even say to them, I know.

More about it than you do, right, which is a fun way to start a conversation with the stranger.

Yeah, yeah, because then they're like, listen to this new at all?

I like, yeah, I like to challenge people.

You know, originally it was the capital and it wasn't a city state. Did you know that? And the dollar bill was designed there? Did you know that? And they're like like wow, wow.

I don't want to be confronted this way.

The first basketball game was played here. Did you know that? Did you know that?

That stay?

Just the like by the beach there, it's almost tropical. There's it's so green and there's ferns.

It's just the best state in Portland. Yes, the Oregon in general, it's.

Like or very lush. It's very like self.

Please, I feel like my skin is is being actively rehydrated when I'm there.

I feel like I'm breathing for the first time right when I crossed them, totally mine.

I also feel kind of safe. I'm like, I don't think anything. It doesn't seem dangerous, right.

And there's a lot of ladies in clouds, which I respect, and it makes me feel at home. Fleece and clogs, come on, you never get that in.

La now clogs are they always re wood souls?

Well, if you get dance cough, which are the quality ones? Oh yes, that's gonna happen.

Oh, settle for some of those other plastic clogs.

Right now, we're near the vista. Let's all tell experience if we have them. Of the times we went to the Vista.

I saw Van helsing there and almost had my ears blown out of my head. The audio. It was so loud and sharp. Do you remember Danny Sebos Of course I was there with Danny.

Sebaios, and I stood up in the middle of the movie and said, I will not stay here anymore.

This is insane, and I left about him and went out because I was so angry about how loud the movie was.

I'll go next. I went. There's a movie with halle Berry. I think it's called Gothic. It was horrible.

I saw it there, goth gatica, never mind, I saw no. It was God yeah, Gothic or Gothic, yeah, And it was kind of a scary movie. And there was a drip in the ceiling and things were happening, and I would feel these drips and it was coming from the ceiling.

And I also wanted to leave because I was.

Horrified during the movie. You're getting dripped.

It was raining and there was drips, and then within my popcard and these strips.

It's not good. So there the end for you have a positive is the story to help this out.

I can't remember any movies I've seen there. I just remember one time I shot a little music video with Charlene Yee in the front of it, So my memory of it is now just it on video, like I remember that how that looked, and it looked so nice.

But as far as walking out of a movie, come on, guy whose car that doesn't belong to him?

There's a siren just for people listening. There are many many fire engines, many many There are these cars, and the ambulance drivers are bloody. Something really terrible happened.

Well, we'll drive the other way.

We'll drive the other way. It seemed really horrible once the ambulances were on fire.

They're gonna call that at the sunset.

But they have the sunset blood, but they're gonna call it that. I could feel it. It was horror.

Hello, I can't take this call right now.

I wish you had Hello.

One time at the Chinese theater was at Grammin's. I went to uh see Lord of the Rings with Bob Odenkirk and we both went and I don't I never read the books. I don't know anything about it. And all of a sudden we both realized we didn't know what was going on. So I was I was like, what happened is a river and there's a ring dropped in and I was really it was too much for me, and then I was hoped. I didn't know that Bob felt the same way, and he.

Was like, what's going on? What is this?

Now?

We both left, you know?

Oh? Yeah, well I love movie storm outs.

I don't know why.

That's like, it's.

I love it. It's a very like I don't have to I don't have to do this.

It's exactly right.

You can't take my life away from me.

I did that in like Water for Elephants or whatever that Robert Robert Pattinson, Kristen or there's water for chocolate.

No, there's an elephant one that.

Yeah, it was more recent.

I don't remember that.

I think that like a circus movie, an elephant water is a better exchange for some water, yeah, than just some chocolate.

Carry carry on.

It's a really powerful feeling to do that.

Yeah, you're kind of tearing up thirteen dollars, but you're also saying, I don't accept this as entertainment.

What's fun?

You can't do this to me. I don't.

I can't think of a movie I walked down on.

I'll set and watch something even if I'm not enjoying it.

I think I'm lazy. That way.

Well, I enjoyed bad movies.

But then if a movie isn't is bad bad, isn't good bad?

That I'm out of there.

Oh yeah, I walked out on the Beatles.

The Beatles one where it's like kids doing Beatles karaoke.

Oh yes, across the universe, across the universe.

I was afraid.

I did not enjoy that.

I didn't understand what was happening in that.

I know it was children singing. I just it was like karaoke.

Yeah, I remember that. I never saw it. But what happened like was it like people just renaiting some of their songs or something.

Yes, it was like a rock opera, isn't I think it was?

I think so, yeah, a storyline with these kids that you don't care about, just to gaggle of zach Afrons and then they're people.

Were very efron asking.

Yeah, they're very AFRONI. It's one of them where fronny movies for him.

Not being in it, and a lot of beatless but none of that buy the Beatles, which I didn't realize till then, is a prerequisite for me enjoying the Beatles.

Is having to be then yeah, yeah.

Did you grow up on the Beatles in Missoula.

I sure did.

Yeah, my parents really shoved those beetles down my throat.

I mean a lot of Beatles and a lot of jazz.

My mom like very frenetic what I call flippy toe jazz, the kind that made me nervous and like, I.

Like you're running errands.

Oh like paste up kind of.

Anxiety exactly, Yeah, flippy jazz.

No, have you ever been in a jazz band in all your years?

I've never been in a jazz band. I'm not a fan of jazz.

Oh, I'm so glad you said that. That's I'm not either.

It's too just all like whimsical and like it never it's on purpose, won't do a beat, So I'm like, is there a reason you don't want to hit anything? So I hit a row. It's like it's fun. It's like I need some you know. That's what I hired you for drums. That's why I bought this record. So here's some drums.

People have called me the jazz drummer of comedy because I'm like that with my jokes, never tell them the same, and they don't always quite hit.

How do you guys know each other.

I was the one who made up Chris's title the Jazz Drummer of Comedy, and he confronted me on it one night.

Yeah, and I just brought it up just now.

I think we made friends to Greg Barren. Yeah, I think.

And I very first came here and just visited and stayed with Howard Gramer because I started in Austin, so I'm kind of an Austin comedian. And I met you at a laundry at Lucy's Launderman, but we weren't friends till a handful of years later.

Yeah, that's right.

Do you remember those shows that Lucy's Those were good.

They were I remembered having visited.

I was visiting and went to one, and it did scare me about the future of me doing comedy in LA because I thought that all I was going.

To be doing is.

Shows where there's people not paying attention while they're folding their.

Socks in the background. I thought that was going to be all comedy. I always thought that surprising people.

I thought that part was upsetting until I would get on stage and then realized that was actually the fun part, where you were like watching a young mother just trying to shut out of there and take her laundry and go. And then you would see them like start to titter, and then you're like, oh, I did my job.

It's a different job than normal, but I did it.

I guess I would like it now.

Maybe should we go back and perform?

Should we do it right now?

I mean it would be the same as the show was back when there was an organized of people were asked.

To go there exactly right.

But for some reason, maybe the people were folding laundry. That's how they enjoyed comedy shows. So if we went back, they'd be like, oh, we know what you're doing it. I remember these, thank you for bringing it back.

We meet you so much.

Are you still doing the same bits? They said? They kind of know some of them.

Are you looking at your notestaves.

Shout that anymore?

It's funny your mom's from Venezuela?

Is that what you say? Yeah?

So, I you can do that accent, but I felt very uncomfortable doing the that accent.

I think I'm really good at it.

I don't think I'm so gluted.

I think I think we're all welcome to it. Just like the same thing with accents from India.

Everyone doesn't you know, people get very uncomfortable.

Oh they should.

I'm getting uncomfortable about thinking about someone doing it. Oh, don't do Indian accent and kas area looking at you. No, come on, that's pretty good at it. I loved him since burn on a wire.

I'm going to skate on that.

Yes, Karen, you also were in France.

Wow, Yes, I was working private news. I wasn't. I was in Uh, I was working in Italy and.

In you're at your restaurant.

Aposta place.

You know. That was like a dig. That was like a little bit of a dig and I love it.

And uh.

And then I just took a little trip to Paris. I hadn't been there since I was a little kid. Boy, what a nice place. Pretty good, right, it's really good. It's such a cliche to say how beautiful it is, but it really was. Those buildings are incredible.

Is it clean? They're like, yeah, it's just cool. And they have people peeing everywhere.

Huh, it's really nice.

It like looks like you're it looks like Europe and but like polished and nice.

They're fancy. They're fancy people.

Does it seem like they have a handle on mental like you don't see mentally ill folks running around like in America.

I'm guessing they take care of their people.

I imagine that I was probably in the areas where you just don't see stuffy. Sure, I mean like I'm sure.

Sure, you know. I always imagine that.

I don't know social if they still have social services, it's a good idea.

Yep, you should have them for people.

Yes, but the mental health issue in Shanghai in China is huge, and anyone out there listening, it's a huge deal in Shanghai. Please, anything you could do to tell people that there's a mental health issue in Shanghai, please?

What is the issue? Friend?

The issue is that it's going too well. But there are no that no one has mental health issues there.

Oh so we should be jealous.

Then we'll be able to get the word out easy.

Okay, we should be jealous, but it's upsetting.

Here are the ones that have been Shanghai here. Yeah, sometimes I do just classic jokes like that.

That's why, I mean, like a really deep place.

Yeah, yeah, I'm the one that's been Shanghai.

And then I make a face that is unnoticed on podcasts, Yeah, no, they can hear it.

Your cheek's cracking.

Face. Oh you really mugged it up there. Sounded like popcorn. Are you hot?

Yeah?

Well no, it's just getting like No, why is it getting so fuggy?

I think because we're near at the ocean.

It's uh the weather.

Why does it get foggy near the ocean?

I think that when a cold front and uh oh I give up, and a warm front.

Yes, that's it.

Love each other very much.

Water pressure what happens to the vapor then vaporizes? What? But water pressure does what? Well?

Right, it goes up I think, which is ray.

So why is that like condensation?

Because because it's wet, because it's heavy and that comes back down.

I like, because it's heavier.

Yeah, because it's heavier than what.

And that's how and that's how hot water balloon works.

That's how.

And please please remember to throw hot water balloons.

As much as you can.

If you see something, say something thing you know, right, yeah, not about.

We don't see that enough.

No water balloons like to where you're like, oh no, that's and it's like, oh that was body temperature, thank you?

Yeah, oh I was thinking scalding like it's a prank because you already have the prank of throwing out.

By hanging off.

Sorry, I was hit with a scalding hot water balloon.

Sorry I'm late.

Scalding hot water and the description of it is so it's so about human pain. Yeah, it's it's not only saying extremely hot or boiling. It's like this was will scald you scald? Yeah, scalding hot water.

It's like scalding is the Yeah, it's the only describes that one thing, like the word full blown.

Only describes of course.

Yeah, water balloons.

I was still talking about. Sorry, I guess yeah, I know, I guess you're right. People say it about it. But I was gonna say a full blown hot water blue.

Yeah, full blown, full blown air balloon, full blown tire right right, there's a lot of different Yeah, it.

Doesn't just have to be aids Okay, I retract my statement. Oh we know, you guys aren't really doing anything.

They're like, let's just pull some cable up. You just watched some street We just watched some street workers.

Oh yeah, I always forget that they had yellow vests often.

Yeah, remember that from following you guys watch that movie Falling Down.

Yes, I liked it when he got mad at the construction markers. I think about that scene in a movie more than you know, because I'm quick to anger.

I never saw it.

I never even you know me to be.

Very angry, but you'd never shoot no random people on the freeway.

I keep my anger deep.

I spend it on myself until the right person comes along.

And so I haven't met anyone yet, you know, very angry, it's fred.

Oh yeah, we're negative, man, I'm an angry, angry person.

She's kidding. You seem super positive?

Is that?

Do people accuse you of being positive all the time? Well, because you seem.

Like Scripture one of the first scripture. Do you like that? Yeah, thank you scripture.

Well, scripture.

That was enough to make me nervous. I know. Scripture is a very nerve wrecking word.

Did you go to church when you were young?

But barely a little Yeah.

Where your parents church?

You're not really not not at all. I mean we kind of we kind of went as a family for a little while and it just fizzled out. We just all of a sudden weren't going anymore.

Just you all were like over it.

Yeah, We're like, uh done it.

We went.

That last we get it.

God is over.

I got interested in a youth group in high school because it was a free meal on Wednesdays, which for some reason that was a day that was hard for me to have dinner. I'm not kidding. And then there's pretty girls there from school that I otherwise never would talk to. So I went for the wrong reasons, but then got caught up and all the all the you know, the doing stuff, work camps. It's the way I first went to Oregon, and it was really fun.

But they never stopped.

If they ever stopped and said, hey, have you read this Bible and all that, I would have been like, oh no, not really, I'm sorry, do I have to leave now? They didn't care. Yeah, it was a real low pressure situation.

That's how they do it.

Yeah, that's how they got That's how they get you.

I have a saying attract with honey, is that you're.

Saying, yeah, I think I've heard it.

You're a good driver, Karen, though.

And good have you noticed that multi being able to talk and drive?

I told Fred I freeze up, well when you're driving. When you're driving, it's a very like you can actually if you were being interviewed, it's very disarming, you know, because you're you're you're very much your your real self when you're driving. Yeah, it's like a truth here.

A lot of people have admitted to committing crimes on our podcast because.

Now we'll ask you the question, Fred.

I committed a crime recently.

What it worked?

Let's hear it.

I sold so I had a house here, sold it, moved into a new one, right the deal, the deal, The house closed that when I sold on this one day. But then the tenants weren't in yet, but I had an extra key, so they were like, will you give them the extra key? And I was like, how am I going to do this? And I really was trespassing. I used my own key to get in. I trespassed into literally someone else's home. I technically that was not

Did you take anything?

There was nothing in there, It's an empty house, nothing to take.

But you did trespass around a little bit before you left.

No, ma'am.

I was really paranoid about it because I was like, this is actually not allowed. But it was the only most efficient, It was the most efficient way to do it. It was the right thing to do, Like, that's the safe way to get a key.

Sorry, so you opened the door, went in, put the key in, and left.

No one else's belongings were in there.

Well, what can you put the key like under the door.

Or there's no there's nothing like that. There's no like you know, mail slot or anything like that. It was just like a sealed door. Could have been done, could have been done. Wow, in the way also in the way that I would have wanted it to. I want it just up on the counter. Yeah, you know.

I recently, No, I had permission. Never mind, I did the same thing.

But I took a Bold washer and dryer that I bought five years ago. I even lived in the house for that long, and the house was for sale, and I saw the washer and dryer in a picture or Tid sent it and said, look at this house now, and.

I'm like, there's a washer and dryer. So I got in there.

Through the realtor and took my washer and dryer without talking to the new owners.

That the the home wasn't escrow. So I did commit a crime.

Yeah, you may take a just imple to yourself.

Who owned it? Who owned the Washington.

I don't even know, and I don't care. This is my washroom dryer.

I bought it, and I and they would never the old renters would not ever reply to my calls or requests.

To go pick up my washer and dryer. They was holding it hostage and using it.

So you got it.

I did get it, But the joke's on me because it tears all my underwear.

Apart the dryer.

I hate some of the things I've said on this episode, like what you said. It's just I didn't realize that I was going nowhere just about torn underwear.

I feel bad because I did you. Did you want to ask me anything like interviewee?

Yeah, yes, friend, yeah.

When you first when you saw how you were cgi'ed in Zulen too, did you say to yourself, this is the best acting that I've done, or did you say the computer was acting for me?

I felt like now I have fused and merged with technology, so we as a bionic entity together we performed. I performed with technology.

And was your character supposed to be a child or did you have a disease that made you very small?

My character was supposed to be a child. I think the line he says, is I'm eleven or whatever?

Right, Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I wasn't sure if that was the name of the disease.

Yeah, that was not the name of it.

Yeah, Chris, any interview question you want, Well.

I didn't see Zuelander too. Can it be about something else?

I think it should be? Should be?

Okay, what's Carrie Brownstein?

Like?

She is? She's cool, she's a purist, she is uh, intelligent, funny, definitely from punk rock school. Sure, she is a dedicated friend. I didn't I'm not gonna use dearest friend because that's where we started this whole thing. A lot that would be. And she's very to the point, you know, she's uh, she's no. Yeah, And I wish I had one of those better words, you know what I mean, Like, I don't want to say, like, yeah, she's a.

She's she's Belico's bellicos.

I don't know those words.

I don't really know they mean. They're just words I remember from Wow.

She's a she's a great person, and she litigious.

I just that means you'd like to sup.

Yeah, yeah, it.

Does, all right.

She is uncular. That means she's like your old uncle.

Oh.

I thought that have trouble breathing?

Is she funky?

How funky is she?

How funky is she on the funk scale of Hillary Clinton to parliament?

Wow, she's right up there with parliament.

Is she up there?

If you mean parliament in England? Thank you very much. I didn't thank you. I didn't thank you very much. Thank you at all. Thank you, Thank you.

You have any interview questions you want to ask us?

Yeah, Chris, Yes, do you think you will always live in Venice?

No? I don't.

I'm getting very close to field. I feel like it's affecting. It's prolonged the amount of time it's taken for me to get as.

Happy as I am now. I think I will. It's my career is taking a longer time because of Venice, because I.

Live so far away and I stay over there and I'm not hitting the bricks every night.

But I do like waking up there. I like being by the ocean.

There's something as a human I like being by that air. So do I want to be happy during the day or productive at night? Does anyone have an answer?

But we'll leave it at that. Karen, Yes, you have two dogs, It's true. Do you do they roam wherever they want in the house, like up on couches in beds, or are they like do they have like designated areas.

Basically, the house is theirs, and I hang out in their house.

And I'm gonna back get up by saying, and I think it's almost a problem. There's one piece of furniture available in the house and it belongs to the dogs.

Yeah, well there's a couple of chairs. I live.

I live, simply live.

Yes, I live, I would say a borderline monastic life in my home.

And the dogs just the dogs are just having a great time.

My one dog, George, has eaten a whole couch, so I didn't want to get another one.

It looks like after Heathcliff eats a fish and there's just bones.

But it's a couch. Yeah, it's like.

A it's two by four shape, like a couch with some fabric draped over the side.

I've really learned to let go of earthly possessions.

Wow. Yeah, they've learned not to let go over earthly possessions.

No, my dogs have learned to do whatever the fuck they want to grab on to them.

Yeah, they're just it's there. It's their world. I'm kind of like an LA parent with my dogs.

They just get to do whatever they want and I sit and pretend like they're not doing it.

I respect that approach.

I've seen you discipline them when they run outside and into the streets.

Your dog licked up baby.

The lady was walking a baby in a stroller and the dog just ran up.

That's Georgia would If I could get George, like a four year old, to lick all day long, that would be her favorite thing.

Stranger, so happy, a strange baby. That's the best. Well, that's fun to remember.

Well, freend, do you have anything you want to plug? I feel like this went quickly, and yet I don't. I feel like there's still an air of mystery about you.

Yeah, maybe that's good. And I'll tell everyone out there, get out there, be mysterious. Get out there, do your mysterious thing. Tell your friends mystery going, keep it going.

It's a good idea. What are your upcoming? When is documentary now come out? Or what's your for?

Not for a while? I mean we have some more to shoot.

I watched one with Bill Hayter that was I didn't it was based.

On the Sisters or from uh Yeah, that was great.

It was so funny. He fell through. He's the one that felt.

No, I'm just happy to be here. I'm happy to see you guys.

Well, we're so happy to have you. Thank you, thanks for waiting, Thanks for.

Yeah, he got tacos right before and he's just them get cold and.

You have them in your pocket.

We eat them right now.

That's how we going to end the podcast. Yeah, it's taco time.

What are they filled with cat food?

My mom did that to me once at school.

I took a bite on my sandwich and it was cat food, and I thought it was a prank my mom played.

But then I got home and there's a can of deviled ham right by the cat's dish. She just mixed them up. But I ate cat food. My friends thought my mom was real funny.

It's been a good prank.

It is a good one, but it was non purpose. Frank for being on our program.

Thank you. And here's the prank I did on you, guys. I disconnected my mic at the beginning of the interview.

I still would have been able to salvage the room mic. So the joke's on you. Ride you've been listening to do you need to ride? Do you whyan they are?

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. And give us time and a turmanol and gay.

We want to send you off in slim.

We want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?

Do you mean to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need.

Ride? With Karen and Cress

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