Are you leaving all you wanna way back home?
Either way we want to be there.
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a turman al and gay.
We want to send you off instide. Do you wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Now?
Porn?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?
Ride with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbank.
This is Karen Kilgara.
We like to wish you a happy day after Easter. It's currently Easter during this recording. The day years ago Jesus.
Rose from his tomb and morphed into a rabbit who then brought the eggs of chickens to our sock drawers and nooks and crannies of the backyard. And that's the story, my friends of.
Jesus, aaymen, gay man, gay man, gay man, gay man, gay man, and how they Lupia to tell.
That's not what I thought I was participating.
No, I'm sorry.
I meant to celebrate gay men.
You do the adult like setup, and I'll do the childish punch.
That was that seemed like something you would have learned opening well, like the first weekend you open, you think, ah, stand up comedy, I'm gonna learn from the grate and then the headliner closes on gay menu, Hallelujah, how they love Yeah.
I'm afraid that it's a joke of mine from like sixth grade where people would say Amen and hallelujah at church and I would go gay in and how they love.
Yeah.
So it's a little less it's a little actually mature if I'm doing it in church, a place where they're very anti gay.
Yes, so I was eventually, is it political.
As it's a very progressive joke, Yes, and you were twelve.
And it's helping people, And I think it's helped that joke alone, it's helped us get where we are today. By us, I mean me and my fellow gay gay man. I'm not gay, but if I was, I'd be fine. I wouldn't care in my life would be the same, accept way more struggle, and it would have been really difficult and still be more difficult than it is for me now. So yeah, that part, But I mean the way I enjoy myself.
Yeah, you mean more from a personal aspect, just how you Yeah, because you're just kind of you go with it.
I did a show at Meltdown called Joke Thieves, and you have to do you do your own set, and then afterwards there's a second half of the half of the show where you do the jokes of someone else you just watched. And I was assigned Guy Brandam, and I have some jokes that are as immature as the ones I've already told this episode, and he broke it down in a very funny way without getting to upset with me.
I'm sure it was upset at all.
But it was fun to watch him do my jokes, and it was real fun to.
Do his jokes.
You guys are a good vote.
It was a great Yeah, a great show because it's one of those shows where they enforce a what seems like it's going to be homework, but it isn't. You just take notes while you're watching in Arden Marine Marine was really funny doing.
She did some of these jokes.
Oh god, I should know Ray Romano.
It was a Ray romano ish guy. No, it was God, damnit. He's in women. He's hilarious.
Dave Ross, not Dave Ross.
Wiseman, it was Wiseman. Yeah, why, good boy? Do I hope he doesn't tune in and realize I brain farted his name.
I'm gonna tell him to.
Here's a name I won't brain fart.
Today's guest currently sitting in the car waiting for it to be normal for her to talk Our friend and yours, April Richardson.
Maybe maybe it's bad that maybe your audience will be bored with me, But I'm always in the car with you guys when you're not recording things, So.
Why not when we do well?
You are our first three peat?
Yes, I believe that's like I want to get jackets like Tom Hanks and Steve Martin is five times Club.
You are Alec Baldwin of this podcast, and it's because you're good.
At it and because I have swagger.
Because you were at breakfast with me.
Explain that. Oh yes, thank you for making yourself available. We booked the show kind of last minute sometimes because you know, I was.
I was very This is my ride home from breakfast.
Oh this is perfect.
So we are for those naysayers that say we're ben and the rules we'd hear. We're adhering today to the original mission statement. We are we are actually taking April home.
It's true.
Yeah, she did need a.
Ride, that's right. Mm hmm. I was actually driving toward the Bourbank Airport just for ships and gigs.
I'm flying home.
Yeah, you're take a jet Blue over.
It's funny. I do go to the airport when I have gigs, but I've never gone there when I had shits.
You you would love it.
Some of my jokes are so dumb. That caused sneeze joke?
Now what was gay about that joke?
Though?
Oh?
Nothing?
Oh I love that.
How they move a joke.
I stand by that thank you for many years after. When did you say in sixth grade whatever?
I was a kid? Thank you. See April is a good yes man, Limpy. No, that dog does not have much time left.
No, she that dog was At first I thought it was a three legged dog, and I would be like, wonderful Internet star.
Right now that I look on.
A skateboard, come on, put some sunglasses on that motherfucker.
Now that I look at.
It, it's just a dog so old that it's it's its owner is clearly walking.
It just for walking at sea.
Oh she's walking, she's carrying it across the carrying the dog.
Poor little pop.
Poor guy. We love you.
You're right though, when I see a three leg of dog, my my pupils turned to dollars.
Sure, money, money, mone.
Get sunglasses and a neckerchief on that thing.
Now, Chris, do you ever think that you would cut off the leg of a dog to make money on the internet?
Was that?
What is going too far for you?
Is it is the actual cutting of the leg of video that goes viral?
Oh you have, that's a double virality for your life.
Yeah, so double the would cut off your own legg or replace it with a dollar sign.
This next video is called the Making of an Animal Star and that Civil War you pull.
A poodle's tongue all the way out.
So whiskey.
So imagine the dog in a in a in a Civil War uniform like a reenactor playing and I'm like, I'm afraid you dysenterian, gang green your legs down. Gangriness means like and then I and a lumberge just go with one of those.
Old you're describing my literal.
This is why I we might have already talked about Civil War ghosts. That is such a I'm gonna have nightmare about our jokey scenario.
Now because of the political the strife of the Civil War North versus the South, or.
Just the idea of the saw of limbs that awful.
Again with nothing but a whiskey soaked rag to bite on.
Sure, But then imagine how easy the rest of your life would be if you survive that. You don't die of gang Green, you get through it, the war's over, you open your lone little hardware store.
Everything is a piece of cake. And then you haunt my parents' house in Georgia that's next to a battlefield.
Shit, it's not wait at home, Wait that happened?
I mean not.
I'm just saying it's common. It is common with the homes around or our parents now.
At Georgia and in some Scooby Douce Gripts and Jerry Read.
I think we had this conversation. We did, but only because it is on my mind.
Like all the time it is.
I have had the same I've had every conversation at least once on this podcast.
I repeat myself because that's how I know I'll be it. I'm like a dad or I will be a dad or I'm like my dad.
It's He would start to tell a story, and they're good stories, so we listened to him again. But yeah, my sister would go like number fifty six, they had a story.
Number.
I had a friend, my friend Danny Sebaios. I don't know if you ever knew him, but he's hilarious and so funny and one of the first people I met in LA and he and I were friends for so long that he would start to tell the story and we both knew I'd already heard it. We would tell each other repeat stories, pretending we'd never told them before, because they were just so good that we had to say it.
Oh wow, and that what you weren't podcasting because we've found that and you don't stop me because it's like, well maybe there's some new.
Less yes exactly, but no.
He and I would do it to each other, just purely because we couldn't stop. If you start the story about how we all stood in a circle taking a shot for somebody's birthday and the birthday boy threw up and then everyone else ran, that's so hilarious, right that you have to tell that story no matter what no matter who's how many times the other person's heard it.
I feel like that must be a problem too for people who date a lot, where it's like you got to remember who because I feel like I've got like ten stories.
I got like ten solid stories. Mm hm yes, no, and like you know, you got to keep in mind like who you tell them to when you tell them.
But even so, there's that's so. Yes.
When I'm talking about this situation with my dad, it was usually my step mom going, oh, here's number fifty cents because she's even if there's a group of ten people.
My dad, that outweighs that his wife will be listening.
Again, I'm on his side. Yeah, yeah, that weighs everything.
Yeah. It's like if you're doing a show and someone's like, I'm your biggest fan and they have a Chris Fairbanks, Sure, just let's just say that's happened.
I'm sure it's happened, not yet.
But the rest of the audience doesn't have Chris fair making sure.
It's not like I'm not gonna do my ships and giggles and Mike Galla Lujah gamers.
Yeah, that's right, that's right, And people do love the hits that's why they're hit No.
One. At the Hollywood Bowl.
When I went to see Hollan Oates wanted to see him scat no Wow, but he did it in anyway.
Man Eater, Man eater.
Manny is wild baby as well, woo what are you doing baby? Well of like post, I swear that a couple of times, he almost made himself laugh. The best thing ever. And this is about Elvis so April Edge to the Seats.
No.
The one where he it's later in his career and he's drunk on stage and I can't remember what.
He's laughing and he's singing, start saying.
He's like, are your loans? Hey? Who was that? I don't know? I think it was my voice. You fucking can't remember the Yeah, it's so great.
I have one where he laughs, he just is are you loans on tonight?
And it's like ten minutes long because he just keeps laughing and keeps laughing at it. At the end, you just can't stop. In the mic, he's like, I can't stop laughing. Everybody like He's just it makes me laugh. I've heard it a thousand times and I can't listen.
To It's I've always wanted Henry Phillips and I talked about because it seems like he's having a good time elbows in those situations.
Cherry's fucking high as a kite.
High as a kite because he didn't want to do him because there are times at the towards the end where he the colonel was just like propping him up on stage.
Dude, I don't want to do this the colonel.
Yeah, colonel, but his chicken was so good that he couldn't argue. It was like, you know what, you've got that secret sp you know.
I mean, I'm not trying to steer this down the Elvis Nerd road. But like the colonel was like he's from rid On. He had like fled Deadmark. He was a suspect for murder and stuff, like he was like a really bad dude.
What was the.
Colonel?
Tom Parker's real name is like something, you know, Adolf Hitler. In books I've read, there are accounts of him like fleeing because he was a murder suspect and then coming to the States and he was like a carnival guy. Just had a chance meeting with like this chance meeting with Elvis just obviously changed.
Everything, and he was blind.
His tour manager something.
He was his entire manager, and it was unprecedented. He he got fifty percent of everything.
Oh no, you know what I have to say, though, I bet those Carnies know how to promote. I mean, that's what they do for sure.
And so he did do that in the early days. But he also held him back from doing all this kind of stuff. And like the Beatles came out, Elvis was like, I want to do music like that, Like I want to do weirder music and like weirder movies and not just be this guy.
And he was like, no, I'm sorry, you can't, and like his was just.
Like a guy who he didn't know about legal like he just signed his life away.
And kicking it out of it. Terrible. Yeah, he still did okay.
Though, right, fine, fine, but at times at the end that he wanted to get way more adventurous and didn't want to do another movie where he's like I'm.
A racecoor driver or whatever. The colonel was like, fuck off, you have to do it anyway.
Oh wow, yeah, no, thank you, colonel.
Anyway.
You know what, those Danish are all the same, aren't they. Those Danes, those goddamn Danes.
They're sweet. We're also flaky.
Oh I just saw that giant petty Danish.
Sorry, now you go.
No, I was calling out scenery, which is a dumb thing to do on a podcast.
Oh no, that's all right.
I feel like people are used to it on this one there.
I like everyone will listen to an episode and we all have a reaction to something that happens and sometimes don't explain it.
Those are my f Those are my very favorite.
When you let it slip by you and I are so used to it that usually the guess takes it upon themselves if you don't, if you aren't watching, which of course you can't be. A bike's just pulled in front of us. That's why everyone screamed before. Wow, look at that guy's shirt.
You get serious, an assassin for hire.
Don't describe what he looked like.
Yeah, he's your imagination.
We just imagine him.
He just looked like an angry Russian hit man.
He did or he was walking away from like his family is easter.
That's sucked.
It's like I never get the pie I want.
They always get a low quality egg dye my parents. Yeah, it's Pause. It's the best. I love that company because do they make anything else?
Yeah, they can't.
They just shut their doors half the year or most of the year like a Halloween store, and then open up when it's.
Right zero competition. Name another Egg Die besides Pause, I'm Cadbury. They don't have eg they do.
They dabble and Die.
Do you think though, that that's a later Yes, yeah, because of the popularity of their cream egg pauses, the Sears Roebuck of egg Die.
It's just the establishment.
Yeah.
They maybe they're in bed with the candy corn people that also are only relevant in the fall. That would bounce it out kind of nicely.
I think it'd be funny if they were in bed with pez.
Ooh or firecrackers.
Yeah, or if they're in bed with a severed horsehead or sexy lady.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's just like as sections in one section does pause and they shut that down, and the other section makes candy corn, and then they shut down the other section makes and they just like rotate.
That's a great business idea.
And then the other section makes caskets, and so if they don't, they're not related. Yeah, there's the one thing that's always necessary, and then there are the other things that are almost never necessary.
You think they make caskets too, so they feed pump everyone with sugar. They die of diabetes. Then they put them in a sugar box.
That's right, yes, And then they wrap when they right before they put the castle ground, they wrap a little piece of paper on.
The outside with like a fun easter decorations, like an arrangement, yeah, or like a you know.
Sometimes you dye the egg and you stick it on that little paper circle so it doesn't touch the table.
Yeah, right right.
I guess I was.
Trying to make a joke like that, but it absolutely did not fit into the castle.
Very visual.
It's visual, and it's nonsensical.
Yes, yes, two of my favorite traits in a joke in a person. I like to see them, but I don't want them to make sense.
That's the best way.
And describes most of my relationships. Am I right? Lady Hella, Okay, don't want to be yet?
That doesn't you perfectly described those relationships.
I hope that you don't want to be these movies.
Yeah, yeah, you want to, but you do want to see them. He cared very deeply for.
The romantic what you just said inadvertently romantic.
Yeah, you can't help I.
Want to see I don't want to be yet.
I love you so much honey that I wish I was you.
I want to wear your wide.
This is a real question. Do you call your girlfriend's honey?
Oh, honey, I.
Got sad.
I go sweets. Yeah.
I never have had a petny. I've never had a guy call me anything like that at all. Never really Aaron probably did, but not.
I remember seeing a friend's boyfriend call her baby, and it was a thing where I distinctly remember previously, you know, when you're you been like, oh, that's so lame, like you would do that, and then at that moment being like, oh no, actually I'm really sad nobody's ever called.
Quickly quickly turned to jealous rage.
Yeah, I not rage, sadness, like where I was like, oh, that's not lame. I want somebody to tell me.
That no one calls me their buddy cup, Hickory buddy cup.
Man, I want to be somebody's buddy cup.
Yeah, I want to be a buddy cop movie.
I feel like.
You kind of are you and Karen Body cop movie?
We could do it for sure. No, I'm not doing that paperwork. God damn it.
Oh well, is that a wild card?
That's me.
I would like to see your badge on my desk. Are we in Loch Crescenta.
No, friend, this is Burbank.
Old time Bank.
This is This is like where the City Hall of Bourbank is?
Is it okay? If I like? I really like Burbank and Glendale.
Yeah, they're good.
They're like nice downtowns.
Yeah, they're night because it's like a fifties movie set.
It is.
It's pretty good, and it's quiet. It's not dirty and it's quiet. God forbid.
I live in a very loud dirty Mary of Venice Beach is very loud and dirty.
That's right. I feel like it's it's loud and dirty. Do you get down and dirty? Man?
It's down and dirty talking about loud and dirty, tolerant of it when I was Thirty's my favorite. And the best part is we won't get sued because I'm making it up.
That's right.
Yeah.
What's Hollywood Works game in in Halloeluba?
What's that place?
Know that place that looks like the Devil's Office? Yeah?
I didn't see.
It, Yeah, it looks like office place.
I want to see it. Yeah, yeah, let's go look because I'm scared of the devil and I want to know where he works.
Have you ever gone to Riffy's Market where they're just like right when you go in, they're just making produce jokes and no, I don't ever stop. It's nauseating.
What are you going to use the cart with the bad wheel?
Of guys? What's the craziest Easter you've ever had?
Easter? I don't.
I My family didn't really. I guess when I was little, I would get some candy or a kite.
I would usually get a kite.
Yeah, a little present, yeah, which.
Is cool, but it usually met candy for sure. Yeah. I guess I never had a candy tooth. Yeah.
We've been over this lecture one.
I know that they're yeah.
Yeah, but I always got candy.
Hell of candy, for sure.
I mean when I was a kid, obviously we would do like uh egg Easter egg hunts.
But my parents are super religious, so we would always go to church. I mean I talked to my mom today and she was like, did you go to church? And I was like, no, That's.
What Daniel Daniels said yesterday. His mom said promise me you'll go to a church and he said, I can't, but I promise you all pray before I eat. And he's like, man, these are adults.
Well, because Easter is even bigger than Christmas, is kind of the key.
It's the key event.
It did mean so I know something. It's what started at all.
It really started. This is his This was his blue Hawaii.
Yeah, this is his raging bull I have.
I have.
I only repeated the same because I don't know a blue Hawaii. It's a song.
That's what you were just. It was a punch up.
I liked it.
I respect it.
I Uh. Something outrageous has probably happened.
In my family on Easter because it's when we would go to my grandparents' house and everyone would drink, and I'm sure that one of the memories I have of my grandpa coming out with a baseball bat and my uncle like there was almost horrible fights and my dad would bring it up shit.
I think that they would at least during a holiday.
I think it's more Thanksgiving that would scarier things would happen.
But yeah, that was I'm not trying to impress something. I had a good childhood.
Every family guy. Everybody got drunk.
It is it is a We went by the Devil's office.
Again, and it doesn't look like that.
It's it's kind of a shiny Budweiser font.
Yes, a black building with red dark red panel.
And just a giant phone number that ends in the six.
Definitely.
What about Karen, You must have had your Irish Catholic you must have had insane easters.
Yes. Well, as we were trying to answer this question, I realized it was a very bad quote, like it just a dumb question that was very leading. But I because I don't have any of those. But I think it was because Easter usually at our house, like my parents would make gin sizzes and it would start early enough in the day that wouldn't get crazy because people would leave by like five o'clock. Sure, like you know, you'd have it was all a very morning afternoon kind
of event. But I did have. What I liked was I was the youngest of all the kids. My sister was older, and then my cousins were way older, and so they would come over and then my uncle Steve, I would just follow him around and he would point, like during the Easter egg hunt, he would point out where all the Easter eggs were real subtle so that I would get them all and because and there's a
picture of it. It's so funny. There's a picture of it where he's standing there with like a Manhattan in one hand and like a big long cigarette and he's just his hand is out like that and I'm over picking up the camera.
That's so great.
It's my favorite.
Gave you all the answers to the East Egg.
Cut like way out ahead of and it was his own children.
I love it.
His own children were the other people in the East Egg hunt, but he was helping me cheat.
Yeah.
I think my earliest because of a photo that was always laying around my whole life.
My earliest memory was hating East egg.
It's like, even when I was very young and we were still in California, we went to like a park and it was like a city sanctioned Yeaster egg hunt and kids were freaking out and all competitive, and I just there's just a picture of me staring at the camera like with a very unhappy look on my face, with an empty basket and just blurry kids.
Behind me going ship house.
Yeah.
I did not have zero Like that's how competitive I've always been, right, that's how you know, anti social I've always been.
Yeah. Well, also it's funny that feeling of like watching everyone kick into high gear. I also have that reaction and have since I was a kid of like go.
Ahead, yeah, me too.
That's how I write.
I for sure am like zero percent competitive. I'm an only kid, so there's no sort of rival. I didn't have a brother or sister to be like, we'll be more like him or so I have zero competitive drive. And that also was why I was never on any teams or anything in any clubs or anything in high school because I was like, yeah, I don't I don't give a shit, like bare minimum all day long.
That's my shit.
Yeah.
And my mom, Oh, she was.
So frustrated because she was the opposite obviously in every way. It was on all these teams and was, you know, basketball champion, and like she would always just be like do anything. She made me do a couple of things. She wasn't like a pageant mom, but like there was a couple of things she kind of made me do and then in the course of doing them would be like, oh if she.
Was ever like, you're not gonna win.
I was just like, okay, like I never can. She was like, You're not gonna get that trophy though, I'm like, yeah, okay, I don't care.
There's no room on my shelf anyway. That's so funny.
Yeah, it's good and bad though, because I think you do need a certain I mean now as an adult, Yeah, the same in my career.
If I was a little more competitive as a kid, I wonder if right now I'd be like trying to climb myself to the top of this comedy contest.
Exactly where it's like a little bit of that is healthy. Yeah, blind competitive drive where you're like I don't give a fuck who I fuck over the terrible and monstrous but which is zero percent of it, is also not good.
I know.
It's amazing though.
If I think of all the comics that I was friends with, kind of very interact with that are huge now they kind of have a lot of them.
Have that in common. Absolutely, get out of my way, I think.
But I think here's the.
Way I would like to say, for as a person who got to observe without being being there personally, but got to observe what the other side of that was, I'm so glad I didn't have that, because actual fame is horrifying. It's a bizarre, horrifying prison that no one understands. So everybody thinks they want it until until you have it. And I understand. Of course, I'm not saying I don't like money or like not being worried about stuff, but the actual fame part is really weird.
It's really fair, and I these some of those same people I'm thinking of, you know, they'll have that fame and then look around and the people that they pissed off who would have been their friends aren't there right right, I'm like, oh, yeah, oh, and I don't have any real friends because I was stepping on everybody.
Yeah.
Agree, I fully agree with both of you.
I'm also just thinking about characters and movies and stuff right now.
But I wonder what the healthy balance is though, because I remember as a kid also, you know, knowing kids who like had all the trophies and won everything, and it was never where I'm like, you have like nineteen trophies, how come that's not enough for you? Why do you need to also get this twentieth one? So it's like, I wonder what the balance is of going I win just enough. I'm just competitive enough that I'm okay and not a crazy dick.
It sounds like you grew up with goldfinger.
More trophies melt them down.
Yeah, I mean, I just was so lazy that again, I just wish I had five percent of that instead of zero percent.
Well, I also learned very early that there is a much bigger payoff not in doing things on time and like correctly, but in not doing them until the last minute and somehow quote unquote pulling it off. And I got addicted to that lifestyle.
Yeah, I agree.
And my sister actually.
Is procrastinating part of your winning formula.
Hugely, which is also that's just justifying laziness. And I know it's definitely a bad habit, but I really do get a huge it's you know what I mean. It's that thing of when you don't when you have a couple jokes in your back pocket, but you go on stage and you basically see what's gonna happen.
Now, when that doesn't.
Work, it is just it destroys me for a long time. But when it works, it's the greatest feeling. It's better than anything.
Yeah, I agree.
So it's because that's its own kind of.
Weird creativity in a way too, because you're kind of one. It's so funny that you say that, because one of the greatest moments of my life.
I'll never forget this feeling.
In eleventh grade, I gotta on a book report for a book i'd never read.
I didn't even open it. The cliff notes whatever, I cheated back, but I didn't cheat. I didn't cheat often you just ripped it. I just looked at the book, read.
Them back and was like, I think I know what this is about. An entire book report, got a B on it, and I god from that, I was like, oh, I'm gonna be okay. Yes, which is it's like here, it's the best feeling in the world, even though it is an excuse, you're making an excuse for not doing your work.
The problem, I mean, the problem and the brilliance of that is because that's exactly I don't. I never did anything in high school anything ever, and was a beast average student because I figured out I learned about the teachers, and I manipulated teachers or the situation of what the like I knew certain teachers at our school were pronounced alcoholics, so like you knew for a fact you could write
blah blah blah on the page. And there were certain teachers that would always give me a bee because I behaved well in class and I didn't like make problems for them. It was like stuff like that where I just started learning it's about the system, it is not about going through the paces correctly.
That's great funny. I almost did the opposite nice school.
I remember I failed a Spanish class that I was working very hard, my hardest, and I really was trying to do well. But she was giving me little marks on my attendance sheet which were an F for the day because I was making people laugh and being not well behaved.
Yeah, that's so funny because.
She had hit the fan. My dad went to school. We got me out of that class, we got me in another one. My parents had my back.
That's funny because I'm like the accombination that you where I constantly talked in class.
Constant was a classic class clown, yelled out all the time jokes.
But I made the teachers laugh, so they like wouldn't be mad at me. It was the sort of thing where they'd be like, oh, April, you were as school, like that kind of.
Thing where you went.
I wish I went to that school.
They but I failed everything, Like I got terrible grades.
They didn't make up for it in greedes. But it's like I never gotten troke oy.
Yeah no, then that is kind of how mine was. I got punished they I would make teachers laugh and then they go, oh, Chris, oh that was a good one. And then they write my name on the board and then I knew I just got to stay after a half hour.
Yeah I didn't. That's funny. I never got that.
Sixty five detentions my eighth grade. That's oh see that sixty five.
That's what I'm saying is I never.
For making jokes. Have you guys heard of Johnny Crash? Johnny Crash?
Never mind, it doesn't I'm not going to repeat some of my jokes.
But see I didn't. I didn't because I've.
Never heard of Johnny Crash.
I think he asked the class if anyone had heard of Johnny Cash, and I said no, but I'm a big fan of Eddie Money.
And he laughed and I was a kid, and then it's a great joke. And then he gave me a detention, it was added. That was the one that made me have to clean the bathrooms with Mike already used to pull a knife out. That's at the mall. And why you know I got treated like a criminal.
No, I didn't get social like we didn't. Yeah, I never got detention or whatever. They'd cut me slack on that, but it would be the sort of thing where they'd laugh and go, oh, I were your funny and then run an F on my test.
They were gonna make.
Up for it in the other way. They were like, good job on your jokes, but you still didn't study so.
F Yeah, wow, man's probably normal. Yeah.
I was the one sitting in the back, rubbing my hands together, not saying anything, going I'm going to work all you people to the boat. The only time is I knew I would. I would say stuff in class out loud if I knew the teacher wouldn't get mad. Right, So I was adopting my I was adapting my personality. I didn't adopt anything. I adapted my personality. But at the same time I was like learning this weird like
invisibility mode. And then I started I went to a Catholic high school that had a dress code, and I started wearing shorts to school and.
Nobody I never got in trouble.
I started realizing I was one of those people nobody was really paying attention to, so I could kind of get away with stuff because I was like slightly invisible.
What was everyone else for us to wear?
You had to wear like a collared shirt, you weren't allowed to wear jeans, you could not wear shorts. I was not like it was all those kinds of things where I was like, oh, I'm not I somehow have like slipped underneath the radar where teachers aren't paying attention to me. One I'm not good and I'm not bad, and so I'm just gonna do whatever the fuck I want. And the more I did it, the like bigger, like the greater victory feeling I would get. So like there
was for Spirit Week. There was one day where that was like come as your hero, and I went wearing shorts and I was people When people asked me, I was like, I'm myself because I do whatever the fuck I want at this school. And by that time I was a senior, and nobody even like knew I had been doing.
I know, it's crazy, pretty fun myself one wears and you never.
Noticed everybody fuck off?
Yeah, I like that, but just loud about it.
Yeah, I mean I just was like, yeah, I do whatever I want, but loudly, and if I get in trouble, who.
Cares kind of thing. Like it was so dumb, but I knew, but I was.
I had a loud friend who did a thing where I would say a joke under my breath and she'd say it out loud, and then she would get in trouble.
No, she would get in trouble.
And that was it was that like I would learn that lesson of like she couldn't she couldn't not yell, and then I was like, oh, all you have to do is be able to not like out have outbursts, and you can kind of get away with anything control.
Yeah. I had no self control either.
But the funny thing is they're trying to break kids of self control or you know, teach self control, but really what they're doing is breaking your creativity or breaking your like confidence. It's a good thing that kids are confident enough to be like, here's my brilliant, brilliant, fucking Johnny Cash joke.
Yeah, I refuse to be quiet. For sure.
I was shy. I actually missed. It's like every kid is really riddled with confidence.
It's so true. They're all special these days.
Every other kid.
When I was in it's quiet and shy and said funny things every once in a while. But now everyone's like, look at me sing, look at me dance?
What is this song?
I gotta know what the song?
Day sounds Christian?
Hold on, it's here's the thing, you guys, listeners. This person next year. The light looks like doesn't it looks like a punk rock Yeah. Yeah, And it's a girl and she she's listening to I Believe Christian Believe.
Maybe she's Christian ballad.
Yeah, she's like she looked like a punk rock I thought it was a dude. I mean, I'm just saying it was like this punk rock looking wearing.
Like a satin kind of dope jacket.
Yeah. Maybe she was street Christian, you know that new Christian?
Yeah? Have you heard about God? And they start breaking school exactly.
I do drugs for Jesus.
He shreds my heart.
Anyway.
Eddie House starts talking about high school.
I don't know, just being outbursts, procrastinating.
What about college?
I actually worked my ass off in college because I didn't go to college till I was twenty three.
So it's sort of thing where I was like ready to be there and ready to get it done.
And wow, that's how they do it in Europe.
I was done when you were Yeah, I didn't while.
I didn't want to go. Well, I lived in England for a bit and I was like, didn't think I was gonna go. I remember when I graduated from high school.
I told my mom.
I was like, if you make me go to college right now, one hundred percent guarantee y'all fail out.
I don't want to do any more school shit. Just let me chill or whatever.
And then yeah, I went to England and lived with my friend for a bit, and then my mom kind of after a couple of years, she just called and was like, well, you need to come get your shit out of my house, Like you need to move out of my house.
You're an adult now, right, and so come back here and go to college and move out.
And I was like, Okay, that's the way to do it.
Yeah too young. It was like, get your shit out of my house. You're grown.
But I mean, like not going to college right out of high school is smart, Yeah, because you don't know what the fuck you're doing, right.
And then by the time I went again, I was into it well.
And of course in college you get to choose what you're learning, so it's like I obviously chose things I was interested in and actually did the work in rope papers and kind of weirdly enjoyed it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I part of me wish is right after high school, I just started doing art for a living because I was trying to do it, but I couldn't get work done because I had to go to school, right, and I would have started doing stand up earlier, I think, I guess I wouldn't be able to have conversations with There's a certain amount of confidence you get from going to college.
I guess, right, that's the biggest thing I got from it. But I would not recommend it to everyone.
I agree with you, especially if you're going to be an art major and you already are getting work doing art.
Stuff, right, that's right.
It's like, wait, I don't no one's ever I've never shown my diploma or whatever you call the thing I have in a frame of course, well, because it's not.
Like going to see your drawing and then be like, well, first of all, I need to see your diploma exactly.
But that's part of that thing, like, you know, the trend that's changing where college is so expensive and ultimately there are so few jobs that really require.
It in night, or maybe not so few.
I shouldn't say that, because I'm just thinking of.
The way we live.
I'm talking if you want to work in a TV, if you want to work in the arts professionally, nobody gives one ship.
What's school you want to go?
Do it?
You come do it, You come be a PA and lift a bunch of waters.
We're preaching to any confused seventeen year olds out there that listener podcast.
Thirty two year olds at their job, going fuck you.
I went to college and I still have student loans.
Go fuck yourself.
But listen Jimmy and Susie out there.
Or I'm in between surgeries right now, lowering myself to listen to your podcast, and you're saying I could be doing this without any school.
Okay, okay, self taught geniuses.
Self taught doctors.
What I don't know.
You guys heard of you when I said I gotta be on a book report in eleventh grade.
So yeah, so go ahead and do your little surgery or whatever. I didn't read catch your in the whatever.
I never read Silas Marner did what.
I can't remember what book it was. Now, I tell you that's wrong.
Oh we are we use another ten or so?
I love it? Would you say, April? Sorry?
Oh nothing? Just how smart I am for scam every vide in high school?
Oh?
Nothing?
Were you guys?
I was angry in high school? Were you guys angry?
Not at all?
Okay, I'm just pretty angry. I was pretty angry.
I was like, yeah I was.
I was disillusioned.
I don't think I was allowed to be angry and was drunk, which so I probably was angry.
But I was drunk in high school.
Yeah. I started drinking when I was like fifteen.
Oh wow, yeah I didn't.
I didn't.
I didn't till college.
Oh yeah, I did a SAP.
You know.
My dad said, he found and I. We've covered high school, we've covered college.
Gonna we've got to get to our hot elementary school.
A lot of people college. I can't remember whatever. What do you call elementary school? School? Grade school?
Or grammar school?
Grammar school thank you. Kindergarten through fifth grade, I did not miss one day of school.
Do you guys believe Oh?
I do believe you?
Not one day?
Wow?
Did you get a certificate for that?
Sick?
I never missed. I never got sick. I never missed a day school. My dad said that the only time I got a certificate.
I'm not going to No.
I just was scared that I would. Every day I woke up like, don't fuck up life? Oh yeah, and then now look at me sleeping until noon. Don't give a.
Rock Jesus music, pull crack Jesus.
Hey. Do you were you in like the local paper for that?
Yeah? There is a I was in the paper a lot I used to read to elderly peoples. I was in the paper for walking with a young Vietnamese girl. She was my little friend and it was a little back in those days. No one was walking her to school.
I was.
I did not see color.
Sorry what.
I'm actually I'm describing two different newspaper clippings, me with a tiny exchange student girl who was my friend, and an old lady, you know, n covering the covering the whole spectrum.
I think I was in the paper once for once when I was two, because my sister and I were eating corn dogs at the fair and we were sitting on the curb eating corn dogs.
I was two and Laura was four.
I was My dad still has it in like in this thing that when everyone was at our house for my mom's funeral, my uh, one of my aunts goes, oh, yeah, we all made those one day. It's been it's been on the wall at my parents' house my whole life. And it's the thing you don't even look at. It has like it's a it's a wooden box with the picture of me and my sister cut out of the newspaper, and then like little sections of the box have like one part has macaroni, one part has just corn, like
like kernels of corn. One part has has wheat. Yeah, it's all like sections looks very seventies. There's there's like stalks of wheat inside of it. And I just always thought, oh, my mom made that or something. And then my aunt was like, we all came over one day and we all made these. They're called memory boxes, and like this crazy shit.
Yeah, So like I remember that corn a corn in it.
It's just because in the seventies, people loved corn and wheat.
Yeah, and it was an ambience. It's a three D picture frame. Might as well some nickknacks, and.
That's exactly right.
I guess, okay, because I get the macaroni thing because I remember making like necklaces and ship for my mom out of macaroni when I was.
A little kid. But maybe never. My mom probably wasn't good at arts and crafts, so.
She's like, throw some old popcorn in the I've never thought of the decorative property of corn.
Yeah, it's pretty gorgeous when you see it.
It's how many I've been wanting to make so many poop jokes. You guys have just been riding that poop line talking about corn and macarooney. I never made ship with corner macaroni, the whole bag, fairy bags. It's not funny. You're a grown up.
Unleash it and definitely call it macarooney when you do.
That's great.
Why are you trying to be mature right now?
I'm trying.
You already said how Yeah, that's how we started, April.
I've grown a lot during this. Yes, Karen, do you mind slowing down? Question of the speed limits, I'm sorry, yeah, we go.
I just want everyone to be safe. Now we have at least twelve more minutes of recording.
The audience can't see that you've pulled out a monocle, yes, yes, an a nightcap.
Yes, yes, which is just a whiskey I have before bed. I put it on my head. I pour it on my head.
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Oh, there's the Starbucks drive through. Does anybody need one?
Let's dray crow or we don't.
I guess, I guess it's a little late. Okay, I don't want to stay up all.
Night, but I honestly feel like I'm still feeling the effects of the coffee we had at our coffee breakfast, nine coffees because the waitress was God bless her. It was kind of slammed because it was Easter morning breakfast.
It was our first bad waitress experience at Swingers.
I got to say, yeah, first one, Well, she I think she just was not She just didn't usually good ways. She was just like have it all kind of covered, make you feel like they have they're watching you the whole time, And she clearly was just like had ten tables and was and wasn't holding it together. So I started getting almost vengeful about the coffee where it's like more coffee, yeah on principle, yeah, yeah, do something, yeah, but then you're drinking.
You guys, when was that you guys hung out all day?
What did you do all day, all day.
Then we went to see the movie Hello, My name is Doris.
You did?
Yes?
Who the hell is that movie? You made that movie up? Did not?
Girl? It's hell.
On this?
Yeah? Should we? Yeah?
It's the movie where Sally Field is like, hits on it works with a young younger dude. She's supposed to be I guess, like sixty and works with a bunch of thirty year old Sure.
I thought it would be good for April and I had single women in Los Angeles to learn how a six year old would hit on a like a twenty in my future to.
Be real, do you ladies need another thumb?
I mean, I was like, yeah, how do you become a cougar?
How do you bag a cowboy? Brad Pitt?
In its first scenes, there were a few scenes, for sure where I was like, this could be me. But for the most part she was. She was just an older, manic pixie lady. Yeah, she was annoying.
It was not a real personality like it was that. Of course, Sally Field's amazing and genius, but she was playing this character for comedy where you're all At one point, April Lee, everyone goes like, is she supposed to be retarded.
It wasn't being funny.
I was like, really, is she supposed to be like mentally challenged because I was picturing her she was, I think, supposed to be around like my mom's age, where I'm like, but she acted like an eight year old and dressed like an eight year old, and I'm.
Like, uh, what, like weird? It was weird. I mean she did have meant. I don't to give too much of the movie.
If you want to see it, oh yeah, yeah, but it was a bunch of listeners have pulled muscles their chairs.
But Karen made a good point though, because in the movie she does have a best friend who's like kind.
Of this like tough talking broad And it is the movie tropes that I take.
I take it so personally when I see these movies, because it's always like the lady who's.
A quirky weirdo talks like a little kid, is attractive to everybody in the way that like men and women alike want to hang out with her. But then any like straight shooting, ball busting lady, it's like, oh, what a pain in the ass.
And I identify with that, Like I'm like, oh, so I'm unattractive to hang out with because I'm not this like.
Weird quirk monster who's wearing like clown suits.
You you can hear you are quirky. You do wear literal clown suits. What are you talking?
I don't it's not you are a quirk monster, quirky clown monster.
Don't say you aren't you wacky, wacky weirdo.
I don't think I think that whatever, am I We're weird.
I'm just saying I feel like I'm pretty direct in the way I talk, and I'm not like this giggly like socialette.
Sometimes sometimes in talking you realize it's been a directive with the show we have to write for like a teenage skater dude, and that's that that's part of your.
Voice, so that you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, yeah, but yes, you are direct, Like right now you're yelling.
When I speak to you, I look you in the eyes. You don't fidget, I don't look at my feet.
I don't act like an eight year old who's never talked to another an adult, like you know, sometimes you.
Rock back and.
Well and also it's you know what it is, it's this thing of they're bending over backwards to show an older woman who is like alienated and like doesn't fit in, as if to do that in this day and age, you would have to be like this goofy lunatic that repeats everything she says, like Vera from Alice as a most to the fact that simply being not thirty two and still a woman is plenty to keep you. Yeah,
just to completely like make you invisible. So like that part for me, it's just this unrealistic thing where it's like, guys, you don't have to go that far. All you have to do is put her in the workplace and have her be a normal person, And this would be good.
That's what you're saying too, Yeah, I see. Yeah, they had to make her like a ridiculous person. No, you could make her totally nice and normal, and it's still a problem.
And it's it's just that. Yeah, But it was good strangely enough for me.
Normally that character would make me go, fuck this movie, fuck everything, you know, stand up through my popcorn up, poke an old lady in the eye at leap, seen you do that instead this, I thought it was really well written otherwise and very believable because it was about how Millennials are kind of treat others like either your
cool millennial or you're just like this interesting fascination. Like it's that weird thing where millennial it's the millennial niceness that's super fake, where it's like you don't love everybody and everybody isn't interesting, and you know what I mean, it's that kind of thing where that insincerity does affect people of different generations because you're like, oh, of course you.
Don't like me.
I'm just like this curiosity.
Yeah, like something you found at a thrift store. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah.
It wasn't a I don't mean to say it was a terrible movie. It was not a terrible movie.
It just whenever I see a character like that, I take it personally and it makes me instantly go what. But then also, just like Karen said, it's like she was already a fish out of water being a sixty year old woman hanging out with thirty year olds.
You don't need to pile all that stuff on top of it.
Yeah, how she? How is she? I haven't seen Sally Field in a long time. I would imagine not being in a movie for a long time. What's I don't know, she's great. I just think of her.
The last time I saw her was like missed out fire or something. I guess I haven't been following.
I think she's been doing a couple of things, but I thought she was good.
It was almost just like smoking the bandit.
No, that's what it was.
It was like you could see.
That's the other thing is a woman who is a petite, beautiful woman who even when she's wearing quote unquote cookie clothes, she still looks great.
I guess that's kind of what I was asking, But then I didn't want to be like a dude she was. She's still fucking hot.
She is, but she's probably almost seventy.
Right, She's Yeah, she still looked hot, she looks great.
Yeah, she had like yeah, good for her.
I hope in real life she's bagging plenty of thirty.
Somethings riding plenty of thirty year old dick.
I hope for Sally Field that she sucks so many dicks.
I hope that Sally Field is searching for her identity in a pool of dick like.
A ball show.
I think she can do.
Yeah, yeah, I thought you meant just show business.
No pizza, where a kid could be a kid. Oh yeah, we had that cheese. But I'm a quirky sixty year old by calling it showbiz.
Yeah, my favorite place when I was a kid. It was called Little big Man Pizza. I don't know that's the name. Little big Man Pizza.
Just sounds like molester Central.
Yeah, yeah it does.
But you go inside and it was like all twenties themed and they just played yeah, like hey little big Man here, it's like more like it was a gangster's name. Everything's pinstriped, and they played Three Stooges on a giant big screen TV, and then the little rides for kids, like where you put in a quarter, and.
It's just crazy. It was.
It was the coolest place ever in retress. I forgot about it till now.
That's so funny.
Yeah, it was great pizza. And then you just watched the which is the strangest. They just a very episode is them with a different job. It's just such a weird show.
They played the Three Stooges Laura and Hardy and then Tom and Jerry cartoons at our pizza place, and I remember it seemed like the only beverage of offered was either rutpier or orange drink.
That's all anybody ever had.
That's funny.
It seemed like that's all we had.
We had showbiz in myhood. I grew up in the South.
I think it stayed showbiz well after the rest of the country turned into Chuck E Cheese, right, and then.
That was that was like where everybody had their birthday parties.
We I think ours was a Shaky's or a round table. Did you guys have that?
Oh yeah, round table?
Sure, yeah, we didn't have.
Remember, I love it's like kids.
It's so clear back then when they were theming restaurants out, nobody gave one funck about kids because it's like, have about a medieval theme to bring all the kids together.
Brooks he we saw him the other night.
He was on a show with Karen and he told the most brilliant joke that I related to so much, because when I got older, the birthday switched to red lobster where I'm from, And that was.
Because I was older and I was ready for.
Like fancy shows.
Does He told me.
Yes, and it was so where he was like, That's how I knew I grew up poor because I was hanging out with friends in New York who wanted to go to Red Lobster as a joke, like ironically to Red Lobster, and he was like, you guys, we can't.
I'm wearing shorts so hard and he's like what. And I I can't tell you.
How much I identified with that because as a kid, you know, once I turned you know whatever, ten eleven, twelve, where you get older and my mom's like, you're ready to go to like grown up fancy restaurants for birthday, it was always Red Lobster and it was like that was the.
Height of fanciness.
That's great.
I think I went there for not only birthdays, but like you know, like eighth grade graduation or whatever, where it's like you're kind of grown now, you'll handle Red Lobster.
My parents didn't let us go.
I one time tried to get my mom to let us go to Lions, which was like a like a like a slightly nicer Denny's, and she's like, we're not going there.
They were either like mom and pop restaurant or we go home. Like we never got to go to chains that when.
We did, it was like the specialist of occasions. I mean Red lobster was like money time.
That's when, that's when you got your paycheck.
I remember I've been defending Sizzler because I remember eating there as a kid, thinking wow, this is is everything I need. But I was eating tacos and meatball pudding, yes or whatever they're putting.
Something's everywhere. And we went there recently when I had a job.
Everyone jokingly was like, let's go to Sizzler and I'm like, all right, great, and uh it was it's so sick.
I was like sick all day. It made me sick.
Right.
The chicken has like the charboiled birds in it. Yeah, it's a total stamp with like pieces of black charcoal.
Amazing though that.
They put more effort into it than actually because how hard is it to actually go to a grail and goats.
There's a guy with a monocle, just pain and am perfect edible brown stripe. That'd be the best.
It's very strange.
Well, and also they have hot nacho cheese at the salad bar, which I think is hilarious. But also I do love and appreciate.
That is one of my no matter what my diet is or if someone has squeeze cheese and no one's looking at me.
I'm going to coil some of that.
Too cheese all day.
There are circumstances where I prefer fake shees the real cheese. Did you guys have Ryan's?
No?
In the South, there's a place called Ryan Steakhouse, and it was I guess our equivalent of.
I don't it's It was a buffet place. It was a buffet place. But the weird thing is is so.
It always had the buffet pop in at any time you can get but it also served regular entrees, like the way you walked in. You walked in and there was a line and you would go, you know, to order either the buffet or entres because.
I was remember people Sizzler.
Yeah, it was always that was the weirdest ship to me as a kid, I wanted to go up to the adults ordering the me like what are you doing in that?
Times a thousand and now.
I understand it's like I don't want to give myself access to that because I am a monster with no restraint.
Well, because I am not going to think this is funny at all. But so Ryan's.
We also went to a lot because it was really cheap and it was like super white trash of poor white trash, like me and my family went there, but they had a sign to entice you to come in because they had a carving station and the sign outside said three Meets Nightly.
Really my best friends since high school.
That always did you want to steal?
That never not made us laugh. Just see those three were.
Hang it above your bed nexteen next to guy Fiery eight.
Here, tell me that doesn't sound like the seventies or like an album from like bread.
Yeah, three Meats Night.
It was gonna three Dog Night. Originally it was gonna be called three Meets Nightly.
There was a place in Pedlama called the Green Mill that's closed now. That was a buffet and it was all I can remember from it was like that. Basically they offered like a big tub of cottage cheese and cling peaches and then and then like for the valid part. Yeah, everything was just the grossest where you're just like you're giving me the choice of everything gross in my grandma's refrigerator essentially thanks.
I had an ice cream bar though that I would go hard on.
They would, I guess because of the kind of containers or the level of coolness or whatever. Long the sneeze guard or along the you know buffet thing. They always have the pudding right by their dressings. Yes, and there'd be chocolate putting a tiny circular trot with just excess of ranch being laidled across it.
So it's it's like, oh, is that pudding with no And then I get some and it's just, oh, that's so discussing.
You just put me there to a perfect description.
I missed my grandparents.
Now, YEA weird feeling this is we should definitely go to a buffet. Something I want to go right now.
There's a place called JJ.
North's Grand Buffet and Sacramento that that was just a building with no windows, and it was basically like a slice of Las Vegas in the middle of Sacramento. It exactly was where it's like you'd go in there, and the buffet was as long as the restaurant itself.
Let's go to a buffet right Las Vegas.
All weekend, I had one hundred dollars daily per diem that I could have, and I sat in my room.
I didn't walk around. I had worked, I had just pocketed it, and I had put it off till the last minute and I finished it one day, and I'm really proud of it because I put it off and I still did. I'll show it. I'm happy with its friend.
But I can't believe you didn't take that perdium stick to a buffet.
I ordered some stuff to my room, but I only spent like twenty five bucks or I should have. Yeah, I could have bought a faberge a blown in all of these.
Now, I didn't go around. I didn't.
I did gamble and it was fun and I lost my money, but I did fun. At fifty dollars, it turned into two seventy. I got all excited. I got peer pressured by Daniel to keep playing and I did and I lost it whatever, But at the end, I was like, that was fifty dollars of fun. Yeah, it lasted all night.
I agree, it's totally worth it at a good time.
I'm not anti Vegas anymore.
I'm not either. Like I told you, I have to go visit my parents there all the.
Time, and I kind of like it.
Yeah, it was fun. I hope get a copet.
Well that's uh, I guess. I was kind of bragging about how I worked in Vegas this weekend. Do you guys have anything you didn't when you want plug coming up?
I'm at the Improv Lab. No, no, I'm at Flappers on Tuesday. I actually have a couple of gigs coming up that I'm actually going to actually plug.
Flappers shared a starting a show Flap just.
Kind of it seemed like Little Big Men pizza, right.
Yes, it is the twenties. So we're in the floor. We're in the who you Who room at Flappers. Uh, that will be on that is that's Laura House's show.
Oh sorry, that's Wednesday, April sixth. But that's a really good show because it's going to be me, Jackie Kasin, Laura House.
Maria Bamford, and Laurie Kilmartin.
I love those ladies.
Yes, And it's a small room, so everyone's going to be like doing new stuff and it's great and and doing stuff. And but Tony Kamen has a record store show like muh, he's great. Him and Kevin Kataoka have started to show him.
We talked for a long time about all of us in this car and things that going on. Kevin Katioga.
You you and Kevin did recently?
Yeah, I ran into him Mountain the streets where I hang in the.
Street where you're from.
Shit, I can't find this.
It's a I think it's High Fidelity Records in Eagle Rock Cool and that is on Wait did I say that? It's on Monday, March twenty eighth. But then me and April are starting our own show at the Improv. Will you do it?
What were you guys gonna ask me if I wasn't here right now? Yeah, I'll do it. The answer is yes, you're on the list.
Fine, It's Wednesday, April thirteenth at ten pm. Everybody listening right now, please come to our show. It's going to be me, it's gonna be April, it's gonna be Chris Fairbanks, it's going to be perhaps Chris Hardwick, Chris Hardwick Cool, and probably four other guests that we want.
If you really like everyone on that list, and you might, because you're listening right now, you should be weirdo.
Buy a ticket from Baltimore or wherever you are. Come to this show, come out, blow it, make a night of it the Improv. You'll do something else. Just tell your boss you need some time off.
And it is a Wednesday, but you could take a long weekend. You deserve it.
Yeah, you're addicted to your work and frankly, it's affecting your health.
Also, it's Thomas Jefferson's birthday that day, so the day off work.
Make a day of it, or work and hate America while you hate us.
I mean, there's so many your dumb job, you're boring jobs, so many where you just sit there, keep sitting there all week.
Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. It's at the end of the episode.
You're just losing it.
Well, we haven't done one in a while, so thanks for listening. Thank you. We love your loyalty, even though we've become a bi monthly.
Yeah, but is it bi monthly. No, No, that would be every two months, by week.
Every other it's every other sometimes there might be three if if the month starts with a Monday, it likely ends with an additional fourth Monday.
So we usually do it.
Sorry, like every other week or over three weeks. We're doing our best.
We're doing our best, and so are you. Thank you for drying.
Thank you for drying your clothes.
I'm sorry Chris falling out.
I drift off to sleep at the end of each episode.
He's absolutely had it.
We're over on four. I'm usually four minutes into a namp by now.
Okay, and we better get off.
April. Thank you, it's good to see you again.
You're welcome life.
Thank you for being our triple, our first triplet.
Like it been listening.
Do you need a ride?
D Ryan? Are are you leaving?
I you wanna way back home?
Either way we want to be there.
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. Give us time and they turn and on and gay, we want to send you off instyl.
We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about every scared he was? It fine.
Now porn.
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride?
Do you need.
With Karen and Cress
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