Ep. 77 - Jake Johannsen

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style.

We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Malborn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks and this is Karen Coilgarath.

We're on Lincoln heading towards the airport to pick up Jake Johansson, who is the most hilarious.

He's the number one hilarious comedian.

I would say, I think, as far as our podcast goes, that is the episode that I was laughing the hardest during.

Yeah, we also we were doing it O G style.

It's been a while since we're actually driven down Lincoln.

To Lax because it feels terrible. It's emotionally horrible. It's an emotionally Already he's texting, we're not quite on time, but now I'm finding his bag isn't there yet, so I feel better. I don't need to be. It's very stressful, so many emotions already, and we haven't even there's no guest in the car yet. I've already gone through denial, anger, sadness, regret, all the thing. When someone dies and no one's even died, I fingers crossed.

Maybe a part of you is dying.

Yeah, I think it's just a little there's a little hole in my heart, and I think it's shaped.

Like Jesus.

Jesus or Jake Johansson.

Jake Johansson. I call him Jesus for short. He does not like it.

That's his prison nickname.

He has not yet been to prison. But it's important before you're incarcerated to have a nickname. Going in and.

Pick a group, Pick a group, pick a race, tell them your nickname.

Hey, it's me Shorty, Hey it's me lumpy.

Hey, it's me Jesus. I used to be a comedian. Why are you guys punching me?

I guess that's part of it. They told me in that book that this is.

Just part of it. I have a reoccurring nightmare that I wake up and obviously I don't remember my nightmares, but I remember thinking about them when I wake up, and I sometimes think I've killed someone someone somewhere in my life. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know what that's about because I never have and I can say that confidently. Pretty pretty sure, pretty sure. I mean, these dreams are very realistic, but I'm I'm never in prison, but I'm

Do you ever tell people I shouldn't be here, like you try to plead with people because you know that you're.

Have math almost forty math credits to finish. Yeah, it's I don't understand that. I'm sure I could lay down and someone could explain it to me.

Well, the high school one is about anxiety. Is anxiety and unfinished business. But I know that because I used to look up my dreams a lot. Okay, I can't say I've never had a dream where I killed somebody, although I did. I used to every once in a while, dream that I was would punch my friend in the face like she would piss me off. And it was a person I was not getting along with in real life, and in a dream, I.

Would punch her and then everyone would be like, oh my god, freak out. And then I'd be like, oh, why did I do that? That's so crazy?

And maybe that's just simply a dream where you wish you'd punch someone in your life.

It's wish fulfillment. Yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely.

I just dreams are so strange to me. And what scares me even more is I usually don't remember them at all. So what's that mean if you don't dream.

Ever, Well, maybe you just don't remember.

That's whatever. That's what everyone says, and and I agree, I think.

That's probably it.

That's probably it.

But we aren't dreaming when we say we're picking up Drake where I can see it off in the distance. The Lax Tower where they do a lot of uh probably controlling of when the planes land. Yeah, yeah, a lot.

Of control issues in that tower, Yeah, for sure.

Too many cooks in the kitchen.

There are all so many people bossing each other and smoking cigarettes.

And saying jokes from the airplane, like there's a sale at pennies.

They would have to make airplane references in control tower.

Will you think three times? Today? Someone said, I guess I picked the wrong way to stop sniff and glue.

We know that, yes, gotta be, there's got to be, and you know they're sniff and glue also, Oh yeah, that's the joke is that they're doing it as they sniff glue.

They they're saying they just have.

Paper bags lined with gas to huff.

I have to say that movie one holds up to since the day I saw it when I was twelve years old.

It is still as hilarious in every way.

It is, and it's amazing because it's the exact kind of humor that you think wouldn't hold up right, so silly, and they're the other movies, those that duo made, Like there's some other Leslie Nielsen flops, But in.

That one, I think it's because like Leslie Nielsen, everyone is so serious. They're really playing it like the like Airport seventy seven style, right, so it almost seems slightly real.

And then it's like then there's eggs coming.

Out of their mouth. Yeah yeah, and then later in life they told him to start crossing his eyes.

Yes exactly.

Oh god, that's an intimidating. There's just a cop leaning against his bike using his body as a tripod to pick up someone speeding.

Oh am, I speeding? That was I was really I'm going fifty.

Well, I'm talking on a microphone. He might pull us over for pretending to be game show hosts.

He never stopped leaning though he never did.

He was he really had a secure.

Hold and I would you know what I would say to that cop if he pulled us over. If you can lean, you can clean, which is what I learned at the Gap working there for one year.

Someone's the manager said that they.

Colleen, the assistant manager, who was no shit gal. She was very funny. I really liked her.

If you can lean, you could clean.

Yeah, basically means there's don't just hang out ever, always be doing something if you're working.

That's the best saying. Yeah, leaning meaning that's what you do. If you're like relaxing and not working, you're just leaning against some T shirts. At the Gap, I.

Was literally leaning against the cash wrap, which is where what they call the registered.

Area, just leaning there, just kind of like, oh, no one's in here.

Oh.

I have so many great stories about the Gap. Chris Any and.

Also, I have a varied knowledge of most T shirts, and you know how to fold cotton items.

That's something I wish i'd my My T shirt folding style is so whack. It is just not anything to write home about. Okay, arriving flights, I guess we go to the right, is it a Yeah, anxiety comes over me. It's something about this airport.

I feel like, could it be the complete trap?

The gridlock traffic and it is just the ship that we know we're about to drive into.

Yeah, it's gonna be the word. And we have to go to terminal six, which is close to the last one, which means more driving. There's no shortcuts.

Oh, Lax, we haven't seen you in so long.

How have you been. I see you've not gotten a facelift or any work done.

Hey, lady, you're different. You're not like any other lady in this town.

They're letting it all go natural style like.

Me that they everyone is so disappointed with Lax when they get here. If you go to other airports in our country, they do something to modernize it or make it convenient.

Yeah, they kind of.

Sometimes they'll put up like a big, a big wall of glass windows, so it kind of looks like, ooh, it's could be the future.

There's some art, some modern art. Yeah, but no at Lax, they're like, hey, remember the seventies, So do we Yeah, because we haven't changed anything.

They're like, hey, remember the Iran Contra scandal. Well, this is what it looks like if it were.

An air war.

This is an airport. This is what an airport it looked like if Reagan was still president.

Hey, remember how Reagan ruined everything? That's right, I said it.

We're the Reagan of airports because we're going to ruin your day.

We're gonna ruin any enjoyment you might have in the next twenty minute.

Lax not a sponsor of do you Need to Ride?

An enemy of Do you Need a Ride?

Oddly, we are sponsored by the Chicago O'Hare, which I've never been to, have never been to. It's like your mother's arms, all floppy and covered with chalk dust.

My mother was.

I guess that's a second grade teacher. I don't know why I made her that. I just think of, ah, so many arms.

Oh, your mother was an octopus.

She really octopus. Actually, the only the person in town called the to pus was an autistic man who could play eight people once in chess.

No.

Yeah, I made T shirts for him, or he had the amazing he had he had his own coffee brew. That's the thing about small towns is they embrace their their their local color, their local color. They're locally uh, they're famously unstable. They're they're mentally uh quick to anger people that there's a guy called the Leprechaun that I think his previous job was waiting in holes during the

Guitar and then stab you on the ankle.

He did end up stabbing someone later in life.

No.

Yeah, but everyone's like, come on, it's Tommy the LEPrecon. I think we'll get in this entrance.

Here and what Tommy stabbed?

You've come on, It's funny he doesn't know better. Yeah, that's my There there was Red the Preacher. He would just scream burn, hell fire, burn, hell fire, burn, and then we'd skate by and go hey Redney.

Go burn.

Oh hey, kids, how are you doing great?

Ja for a skate.

Isn't it just beautiful weather? Okay, back to be a nuts burn burn the Bible.

So he was nice if you were nice to him, but ultimately he kind of wanted everyone to burn.

Yes, he was warning everywhere we were going to hell. But he was happy to see us, and he was really friendly.

Oh so see he's like it was. He was genuinely worried about people.

And there's another man who would wait. We all everyone noticed him in town because it's such a white town. And and he was this black man that would wear a full padded like three different car heart one pieces and had all these all this baggage mentally but also literally had many bags. And he would just wait by the news station by k c I and look up at the sky. He was waiting for God or aliens. These men are all dead now, they're all long gone.

And I wonder what their realization was when they died, of like, oh that was a waste of time, or hey, look hell fire, I was right.

What if Red was right? Is my funny joke.

So he should be we Oh he might have been, who knows? I Look there he is, there, he is, He's right beyond this white truck.

He's right beyond these pedestrians. I almost ran over.

This was perfect. Yes, this was a perfect pickup.

This was there unless I hit this car. Worked out great.

Now that guy's looking down, he has like, yay, we did it, Yay, we did it.

Oh I loved it, Johans.

Yeah, he's the best.

I just love him. Is that open?

Hi, We've already said a lot of nice things about you.

Oh, I will do it.

It's it's open ship. My guitar might be in there. Is it gonna fit.

We're gonna have a momentary here, just talk amongst yourself.

Yeah, you can just throw that on there? Is that all right?

I know there's a sheet over, there's a.

And then this goes like this, and there's another one on that.

Goes like that. Guys, Chris is just letting you know how it's working. In the back. I'll let you know. He knows. It wasn't that long ago. Hi, good to see you.

Oh goodness, okay, yes, please do During this, I realized I'm better at editing now, so we can cut this out.

It doesn't just have to be I thought it was great. It was very natural.

It was natural. It was a natural people.

Love that, you know, like the small things in life.

Yeah, like small moments of confusion, Yeah, small moments of ill preparedness.

You wanted to make sure that I got it buckled.

But did good for safety?

Yeah, I mean it is an issue.

MIC's are I love this mic. It's the audio technica. It's got a Jean rayburn field to it. It's a fairy ray Burny.

I didn't I don't even know Jean rayburn is, but I that is the first thing I said about these mics when I first held him.

He was the host of match Game.

Yeah, that's right. And and he had that really it was a mic about this long, and then it had a little it was thinner, but it had a little ball on the end.

Yeah.

I guess it was because he didn't like to have his hand up near his face, because you have to put a mic near your face, but you can keep your hand down. Then.

I wonder if that's by all the game show mics when they have some civilian run up on stage, you want the mic as long as possible because it from away.

That's right, that's a good idea.

It's other people spittle. You know how much people spit yeah, just the general public.

Well, when they're excited, when they're about to compete at the game show. That's they've done studies where they show that you really produce.

A lot of saliva in a situation like that.

They're just drooling for money.

Yeah yeah, and when you got can you imagine how much you're spitting? If there's a low end stackable washer dryer combo just waiting to be yours.

Yeah, Well, I have a washer dryer that can be stacked, but it's not stacked, And sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about going out and stacking.

The stacking that thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, who's to say that you can't stack an unstackable washer and dryer.

It is stackable, it's made to be stacked. It has the potential of being stacked.

You're just saying, what if you live the other way?

What if I was a different sort of person.

Yeah, And I'm just gonna if you do plan on doing this, and this is just something I'm coming up with. I think I'm I do not put the dryer on top of the washer, because most unstackable washer dryers the washer the door is on top. So if you put the dryer. You're not getting your clothes in there.

Well, listen, just from a physics standpoint, the washer's got to go on the bottom because of the weight you it's got a lot of water in there. Those are heavy.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

I would go over to Lincoln here and go up. I think we just Oh you've got a different idea.

No, I don't have it. I'm just driving. I'm just enjoying myself.

I'm not try That guy next to us is doing a test thing yet his man bun came out here.

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Yeah, the man bun is a thing now, isn't it. Yes, it used to be a ponytail and now they've gone man bun top knot, top knot sort of.

I've and I've seen them online. You can get artificial man puns that I can I can just put on my regular.

Oh this is exciting.

I always learned something new when I get picked up at the airport from you guys. I feel like I'm going online when I get home and get well, I'm going to order some man buns.

Are you going to get you a man bun?

I would just just to have it on the thing that I would do is.

I would carry it in my bag.

And then if I was sitting next to a guy with a man bun when he got up to go to the restroom, when he came back, I'd have my man bunn.

Yeah, and he would have to stop for a moment and think did he have that? Man? Is this guy making fun of me? But no one would ever call you out.

It's not making fun. It's what I call an homage.

What if that's when you find out that the men buns have a secret handshake, And that's he discovered that yours was fake because you.

Didn't know it, because I didn't know the handshake.

It's got to be a fist pound, right, you.

Would I would say, look, this thing just grew out long enough for me to punt it today. And so while you all know the handshake, yet you were in the bathroom.

Let's teach me, bro, teach me your ways, bro, how do we shake hands? And he'll go, well, it's actually a handbun and then he then he fist pounds.

Then he make a bun like shape.

He makes a fist and then you put your hand over the outside of.

It, and then you walk to a yoga class together and then you pull it down like a slot machine.

And you drool and drool for all the money.

And he goes win chicken dinner.

Tick. Where were you just now?

Where? I can't I just stop and laugh. I love ridiculous visuals being spelled out, and uh okay, I'm back.

Keep in mind that to the two people who are doing that are wearing man buns, one of them is a real one and one of them is a fay.

Yours is bright red because you order, you check the.

Wrong box on the internet when or maybe I just like the idea to look at that.

Some guys have.

Some guys have beards that are different color from their heads. So I got a different.

Color grows out different when I.

Hear you people who want to mock me and my technic colored man bun, I'm coming back. I'm returning from Minneapolis by way of Phoenix, Arizona. So because of because of the you know, I have to fly in the airline where I have all the miles and so it's two stops. It's a stop on the way. So the first flight, I got upgraded and it was exciting in

Yeah, you just get to sit in a bigger chair in the front.

And last time we picked you up, you would, if I'm not mistaken, had diamonds that you had had up your ass.

I was smuggling in some diamonds, that's right. Did you redeem those at a jeweler this time? You know, I didn't get a good count of those before I swallowed them, which is that we don't know when you're done.

You gotta do.

I'm still looking through I'm missing I feel like I'm missing a few, but I can't be sure. But I've been pooping into a strainer since then.

Okay, yeah, so also something people have meant man buds.

Yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah, because they don't eat carbs, they're not having spaghetti. You gotta use that strainer for something now.

So yeah, this this flight, the second flight, there was a there was a guy with a ponytail, old school ponytail guy who got on and stuck his bag. He went in the overhead compartment. I had been asked by someone else to move my bag to a different overhead compartment so he could get his wheelie bag.

You know, I just got one bag.

I just have one little backpack that I'm bringing, So I feel like I'm allowed to put it in the overhead even though it would fit under the seat in front of me, because.

I only brought on one bag and he brought all your bag.

That is the that's the announcement they make. If you have one bag, go ahead, put it upstairs.

And this ponytail dude then gets on and he's got a bag and my my bag is smaller and it's in the back, and he puts his in and then gives it this kind of manly shove, like hammering it in, and it's like, hey, my bag is under that bag. You're just smashing in there, and it has my nice electronic equipment.

Yeap cursing.

It's real, Hey, when it's truth.

Keeping it real. I love I love show business. Now we're just always doing it. This is the this is there's not really a time of your day where you have to take it where you're taking a break and you're saying I'm not doing show business. Right now, you're doing it all the time.

Got it? Well, you do my other show tonight called sleep cast you are You're able to sleep, But it's also being a lot of people listen.

To it, and too, I can do that.

I've got it in the middle of the nights and I'm stacking my washing machine and my driver.

Will be there for that too. Because Hollywood never stopped.

That's for your HGTV special.

That would be special.

It does never stop.

Now.

The last time I was in the car, we were talking about backyard comedy shows and I still haven't gotten to do any of those with you, Karen. But I did get to do a show that's in the pack of a barber shop.

So, oh, how was it that?

It was great?

Was it that secret show?

That long room blood barber?

Yes, I love that show.

It was really it was really fun. When I was talking to them though, you know, they they're always full, so I would call it sold out, except they don't sell tickets just to have a mailing list. And I was telling them, like, you know, I don't want to tell you how show business works, but the business part is where you're not. This isn't a show business.

This is just show.

That's just the nature of any show in Los Angeles. No money has transacted, but you do get a free meal there, if I'm not mistaken.

It's a lot of volunteering in the business.

The other show, the show that Jake and I met at, was a prohibition them speakeasy where it was very it was hidden that there was even a show there, and that also didn't pay. If I recall.

Yeah, no they don't. They don't pay. I didn't will you don't need to. I don't need to get paid.

I just like to.

I just like to talk into microphones. So I know it's now that everybody has them, it's great, and everybody has a show. Who can listen to all these shows, We're gonna eventually it's going to turn on us and we're gonna have to pay people to listen. Yeah, because they're gonna be too busy, yes doing that, they're doing their own show. I'm sorry, I can't do your show.

It really is a good idea, though, yeah, you can, and you could actually do a side about what the how the conversation is going to yourself.

For your show.

I mean, commentary is so popular on DVDs, I don't know why it wouldn't be popular on podcasts.

Yeah, well I like the idea. Well, we could do a commentary of this part. We could listen to it back later and then talk because I feel like it could be better.

I mean, that's how that's where I'm at right now.

I feel like i'd love to if I had another gear that I could take it up a notch.

Right, sorry, right now? Or in general?

No? Well always right, yeah, always, no, you're right, thanks for thanks for helping. This is part of my I'm working on it. I'm working on it with a helper, with a person. But yeah, I would love to just let's take this to the next level.

I think if we did that, I would just constantly be saying, oh, I don't like that I said that, and then I would say that about that right now.

I do sometimes feel like, you know, when I'm recording the beginning part of my podcast, that's all about this is what's going to happen on the podcast. Then I get finished, I feel like it could have been better, And then sometimes I'll do it again, and I think now the first one was better. And now I'm at a point where I just I'm not going to do the second one. I just won't. I'll do this, I'll do it the next week.

I'll do it next week. I'll do it better.

You know, show it's weird. It's a brave new world. It's a brave new world.

Everyone's a star.

Yeah.

Well that's for sure, that's for sure.

Did you do you who won the election last night? Did you follow that at all? Oh? I mean that we care, but I feel like this election is problematic and that I don't it's gonna one of them is going to get to be president.

Yea.

Ultimately, yeah, it is going to be a problem.

That has been bothering me about this one. One of them has.

To be picked. In the past, what bothered me is that I was worried that the one I liked wouldn't get to be the president. And now it's just like, it's one of these this, which one do you pick?

I don't know.

You don't like that, uh, grumpy wild haired man?

Oh?

Yeah, I suppose I like him?

Yeah, you better I mean, you're a comedian, you're better like Bernie.

We all have to like him. Well, I don't know.

If I had to pick the funniest, I might pick the guy that everybody thinks is a jerk. You like, he's the funniest If he if he just said I've been kidding the whole time, I would go, oh, okay, well that was great.

Then yeah, what a great character.

That was great.

He's having an argument with the Pope. I'd love to get in an argument with the Pope.

I don't think I would.

I don't pretty bold, Yeah, to be mad at the Pope.

I think that if he wins. This is me trying to be positive. If he wins, he's gonna be surrounded by people that will make decisions for him, So it'll be just this massive people.

Maybe not. I feel like he's gonna go. Look.

I feel I've got this handled. Like you were the guys who thought it was a bad idea for me to get an argument with the pope, right, and it turns out to be a good idea. It almost seems like he does whatever. Yeah, I think he's trying to get thrown out.

She's a madman.

He's like what do I have to do to get thrown out of this election?

Why is this working?

All Mexicans are rapists? Where everyone's like, we're good with that. He's like, I'm gonna build a wall. Sounds good to us. Muslims should all get we should get rid of all Muslims.

Good Yay.

He's like, oh my god, this is working.

Yeah.

I bet this week he sends a dick pic to Oprah.

I think that's what he's gonna do.

Next.

He's gonna tape it under her chair.

And his comparison item will be a cup of Oprah Chai from Starbucks.

That didn't last very long. The Oprah.

No, they really blew that up.

Well that's I saw that coming, and that's why I went on Amazon and I got a case of it.

Cornered the opra chie market. So ten years from now, I did that.

With Sparks too.

When they's called the battery gap.

Yeah, the old battery gap.

Everyone in podcasting knows about it.

Well, yeah, people are listening thinking, Yeah, that happened to me one time. When I was doing my podcast Traveling Car.

We have discovered that there are a few other podcasts that take place in a car in.

The best place are there? Yeah? Wow? Oh this is This is something that I like to do on my podcast is take phone calls.

I can't.

It's Vick Henley, but I can't answer Rick.

You know Vick, he's a comedian.

It's very funny.

I remember the Velvet Room in Austin. For a while, it wasn't the Velvet Room. It became a club called Funnies exactly for exactly one month.

Helvida Room is a ridiculous name it is. Let's switch it to funny.

Let's make it something more ridiculous. And Vic Kenley was the first headliner.

The Belvido Room is small.

It was a Bruce baumb It's Bruce Baum owned the club. The baby Man, the baby Man, baby Face, Bruce bruce Baum, the baby face man.

He doesn't have a baby face. He would be wearing a diaper.

No, it's more of a mafia type name. He doesn't really have a baby face. They just call him baby face because he'll break your kneecaps a lot like a baby would.

If you gave the babies are dangerous. Don't don't give the baby your hammer.

You get right in the knees every time.

Yeah, which is funny when you see it in a movie. When you when you see someone get hitting the balls or their knee cap get kneecapped in a buy baby in a movie, it's great.

Beast you inside the entire premise of Home Alone, I'm concerned that I didn't know what did I do?

What have I done?

Oh? You don't?

Is it?

Because is it more urge when your phone ring is a tiny piano?

Well?

No, Nick Ken is like.

Jake, I've got a premise issue.

He's have you ever had a call like that? Got a premise issue?

It's a comedy emergency.

Douchy like I've got a premise emergency. I think I think that I'm doing some of your material? So could you please do all of your material? And then I'll tell you if I'm.

Doing any of it, I'll tell you what to take out.

I don't want to tell you what I'm doing because if I did that, then you might start doing my material.

So it's a it's a dangerous line you have to dance on when you're calling someone.

About look at this. Look at the sign on this liquor market here at m milk firewood ice bag. Yes, and it's and it's stenciled on there in spray paint. I just I'm always I'm a little skeptical of the ATM that that's, you know, the one that looks like it can they put it on a dolly and then take it inside at Night's that at M?

Yeah, it's got a bike lock.

It's like, what kind of careless not careless, care free? What kind of whimsical nomads are sticking their card into that ATM? It's just like, I don't do whimsical.

Note when whimsical nomads even have bank accounts these days?

Yeah, they don't know they do, and they're willing to pay upwards of four to ninety five per ATM transaction.

Have you heard about the idea that some banks now are are charging you interest to keep your money in the bank, no negative interest rates. It seems that I think maybe it's a thing that banks are charging other banks to do, but it just seems insane. It's like, Okay, so.

I got to buy a safe, get a shotgun, yeah.

Get some fireway, yeah, get some They're pushing us into the apocalypse is where it's where they want us to go.

They're the worst people.

Yeah, that's why That's what that sign makes me think is at the last minute they spray paint stencil the sign for your panic gear. At the end of the world, you're gonna need fire ice, earth wind fire in an ATM machine and uh and that's why it was. And you know it's not going to be a nice ATM machine if it's just the what is.

A nice one? I only go to ones that are attached to a bank, and it's.

One that on a list would be way far away from firewood. It's a nice ATM machine.

It's kind of sleek and it sellsy stamps.

Yeah, it's a fixed to the ground.

Yeah. Those ATM machines are more like a payphone kind of. That's a creepy like, oh, if you can remember payphones, you know what.

Every once in a while, for giggles, I like to just pick one up and see if there's a dial tone, And usually there isn't, but when there is, I take a picture, because some of these things are still working.

You take a picture of your like a selfie of you. You take a selfie of you.

Yes, I have an album. I have an album on my phone.

All of selfies of you with payphone selfies It sounds like a coffee table book to me.

Yeah, that would sell. People would adore it.

I don't know if you guys are aware that there's a renaissance here on Lincoln Boulevard. It's really there. It's upgrading itself constantly. That needs to be a val vacuum repair shop. And now it's a place where they have seven dresses.

Christy, don coming buy one of our seven dresses.

I love that. There's nothing more intimidating when you enter one of those stores and it's just seven items.

Man Bun, Man Bun, I pointed right at him.

He's working his Instagram right now.

I just took a picture of my man Bun.

Either I should post it or jump into traffic, as I'm poised to do.

He's got those are the skinny jeans. Is that what skinny jeans that he's.

Got on here?

Those are pretty skinny also his that's an option.

A lot of guys do they shave around the hair that goes into the bunch.

Yeah, so, I mean when he lets that thing loose, just gonna look like a.

That's gonna be the title of my new specialist, Unleash the Man.

You have to great that's.

Actually yeah, Hello, does anyone at Netflix listen to this?

Because I'm ready.

I've got the title and uh and that's all.

You need in a comedy special.

Yeah, and at least seven years experience, judging by the last few Netflix specials.

Look at me.

Taking a jab, Well, why special didn't go out on Netflix? You have to buy it on my website because they the one before that they wanted, but this last one they didn't want.

But I was just in Minneapolis, as I.

Think I mentioned, talking to Lewis Lee and Preserrio there at the ACME Comedy Company. Yes yet, and he was saying, there's going to be a changing of the guard at Netflix. Oh really, and things are gonna things are gonna things are gonna be different.

He's always talking politics.

He does like to talk policy.

He also remind you not to have sex with anyone in the wait staff. He told me that five or six times.

Well, I'm married, but he will you. You're a sexual being. I mean that's obvious to me. Every time I see you. It's like this guy is he can't help himself. I mean when people of all sexes and nationalities are throwing themselves at you.

Yeah, you's got to be warned.

Eventually, You're like, yes, please, Okay, I'm elderly.

Filipino ladies lately have just been going after me hard.

You those tiny hands, and they're so joyful in their in their love making.

I'm glad. I think it's what I've seen.

It's a lot of shame, that's what it is. Culturally.

I really thought you were complimenting my hands, your tiny hand, they are very tiny.

I'm sure you're a great lover. Well you wouldn't have it's interested.

I hate fishing like that, but thank.

You, Jake, You're welcome.

I think there's just pheromones around me. If you think I'm like pig panic, except it's squiggly around me, are just panty dropping, Sorry panty dropping. I'll get out up here, fell.

I was just having a squall panic. You know.

My daughter has this speech thing that she's picked up at school where she's telling you something and then she's kind of finished telling it to you, but instead of kind of doing a sentence where it finishes up, she sort of fades off and then she goes, so, yeah, that's.

The end of the thing.

How old is she?

She's eleven?

Yeah, my nieces are eleven and they I think that's an age thing. So yeah, like it ends with just its sarcastic. That's that's just how a story concludes.

My niece just starts laughing at her own story, so she'll be like, they cat jumped up on the curtain and I had to get her down, and.

She just kind of like laughs at you.

I think, what's an example of a comedian who doesn't I.

Like it? It's fun, this is fun.

So which comedian specials on Netflix are terrible?

I think that a lot. I've noticed that some comics all have like a first Netflix special and then they have a follow up one and it's just not as good. That's uh, you know, that's it suppose make sense. But I've I sat I watch a lot of them.

Do you. I've tried, and then I can't get through it.

I've tried to find out about people like, oh I like this person, I've I've seen some of their tweets, or I've heard someone else tell me how great they are, and then I try and watch the the special when I get halfway in, and it's just like I just like, I like doing comedy shows, but I don't guess I only like watching them if I'm at them right, me too, I don't.

I don't like watching comedy on TV, stand up comedy on Timmy like that.

With the Netflix specials, do they tell them, hey, don't bother doing your material, keep it real loosey goosey act like you know what, maybe you don't even want to be there.

Well, and also the idea that it doesn't it's not an hour anymore. Like when you used to do an hour special on HBO, they would the longest it could be would be fifty eight minutes, but they actually would prefer if it was fifty three or fifty four minutes because then they could put some promos in.

But on Netflix it can be it's.

Like an hour and ten minutes, and it's like, this is longer than it should it doesn't.

There's parts of.

This that don't need to be in it. Some fat sometimes, yeah, yeah, it could be dad's use. You could trim the fat, or you could just cook it down.

You could render it, render that fat, make some soap with some of your fat, baby, render that fat, welcome back to render that fat.

Well you yeah, now you're asking me driving direction.

This is the thing is like you're pointing, wanting me to give you some kind of instruction because you don't want to talk about where we're going, but you want me to be the person who does that, and I don't. I don't want to. I don't want this all to be about just directions. Okay, you're trying and worried that people are Can people figure out where I live?

Oh?

No, They're not common concern.

But I don't think people want to stalk me. I mean, I'm not trying. I'm not calling you out, stalker, who's listening right now? But I just I feel like people have better things to do than stalk me. I'm past stalking. Age really is what I feel. You know, I don't think I'm old. I just feel like, if you're gonna stalk somebody, it's gonna be a younger. It's gonna be a younger person.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a kid's game. It's I mean, the stalker can be any age, but you're usually you want to stalk a younger person.

Yeah, sure, this is good, don't There's people in the crosswalk.

With tiny, tiny hands.

Yeah, look at him, tiny mister plaid walking over mister plaid. You could you could park around here and we could sit and chat for a minute if you want.

Well, I had a bag of poop in his back pocket, and I just wanted to point it out.

I don't think there was a poop in the bag. I think that was a bag to pick up poop. I had a dog for a little while.

You wouldn't stick in your pocket.

Why was it bulging?

Then?

Can anyone explain what?

He's a rich man with a large wallet, okay, and.

Then walk right on the outside.

His lady friend had the dog, and then he's walking behind her with a poop bag in his pocket and talking on the phone. This is a part of modern life. I mean, meanwhile, he's looking at those three people have microphones and there's a towel in the Is that a towel or a sheet?

Yeah? Why is he sitting on a sheet?

A religious sheet?

Modern life deal, that's how we do it.

What if we all had a poop into bags?

I mean one day we're gonna I already picked out my cath there's a website, Yeah, pick out just.

The way, easy, easy catheter.

A lot of people go reusable, but I think I'm responsible enough to clean mind this. Sorry, yeah, I do see those.

I see those commercials all the time.

It's a it is a new day where you have to listen to catheter commercials.

I don't watch the TV that much anymore, but but I was really surprised at how many catheter ads there were, and that that's who must be watching TV.

It's like, and they're getting people who want to be in a catheter commercial, which I just wouldn't want.

Once the money's on the table, I mean, you're not telling your agent, hey, can you send me out for some cather ads. But let's say you get a phone call they go, well, it's a catheter.

Fifty thousand dollars some insane amount?

Is it?

Voiceover? No, it's your face and the catheter ad? What do you say?

All right? Just act like you have a cath Lisa Carna was in the catheter ads. Do you know Lisa. She's a comedian from Florida and she's.

And she acted, she was acting lying that.

Yeah, she was the cather lady who was talking.

I don't know if she was acting about them or talking about how they were. I can't remember. You'd have to ask her.

Catheters are just for men's very through the openings, right, not women?

Is there?

Women?

Women get them too.

Well, yeah, it's either putting a tube in there to get your wiz out. I think that's why. I think that's what's happening.

I mean, that's how a doctor would stay.

We'll put the wizz tu.

Ready, what are you doing the rest of the day, We're gonna put I like to eat things.

People have said, it's a good quality. It's endearing. He must really like us.

He keeps repeating everything we say.

In a sing song. A copy cat boy.

It's very eleven year old girl of you.

So any medical problems you guys want to talk about, you have any medical issues?

I have to get a new hip to get my hip.

Is that true or not?

Yeah, it is true. It's been bothering me for a while. And then I went to a guy and he said, yeah, you were right. Your hip does hurt because these X rays show your bones are touching. But it's not that bad.

No, the technology of it is amazing.

Now.

Yeah, the only concern I have is that they only last ten years and then you gotta get another one.

I think they last longer than that, don't they ten years?

Ten to fifteen? Years, just like you know, a bo Jackson.

Somebody told me boob fake boobs have a life expectancy of something like that. Like you get you get a boob job, and then you got to go in in ten years and get them rotated.

Yeah, and you're like bigger, bigger, smaller. You just keep going bigger until you die, until you suffocate.

Think you just rotate them one eighty, flip them left to right, and the.

Flat end is out for a little while, but then it just naturally.

You always hear horror stories about someone catching a volleyball or something in the fake boob it bursting and that sends like a bubble to their brain and they're gone.

Yeah, they just have them now, don't they. Yeah, remember that some people get them carbonated so they're fuzzy.

Yeah, bubbles all over them. Do you ever watch watched that show Botched.

It's a it's a reality show about all the people who get terrible plastic surgery that have to they have to get it fixed by good doctors, and they had those doctors.

There's some stories on there. When you watch it with your friends, it's hilarious.

And then this is the lesson I learned watching it alone is the saddest thing I've ever do.

You're watching some terrible thing that happened to some person, and then that person is letting everybody see the terrible thing that happened to them. I understand why we want to watch it, but it's just I don't think that these it's it shouldn't be. It shouldn't they shouldn't make that.

That's sad, but it is interesting.

It's fascinating, but it's awful.

What's the worst botch you've seen?

It wasn't artificialized, sir. This is a grape.

They charge you fourteen thousand dollars for this grape with grape with an eye drawn.

On the front of it.

These people have the lowest imagination you come to dog people that just come back the other way one strip.

At least he took that bag which is filled with what is undeniably shit, out of his pocket and now he's just holding it.

Yeah, well no, that's you don't put the bag once it's got pulling it in your pocket.

You just told yeah, either that or he's put on ice cream.

What a catch he is that she gets to walk the dog while he talks on the phone.

He stands forty Yeah, keep us forty paces apart. Honey, I'm allergic to that dog.

He's doing some retirement planning right now, That's what I but he's doing.

He's like transfer everything to the four oh one.

Yeah, okay.

You know he's gonna fake his own death tonight, fly to an island with his real girlfriend.

Poor lady and her dog are gonna be broke.

He bought that dog so that somebody would keep her company.

It has the same name as him. It's weird that we're naming the dog your name. I know.

Why is it every time you go to buy something a sweater, you buy another smaller one for the dog. I just want him to.

Dress like, don't worry about it.

I guess that was a stratch.

No. I think it's okay. I think it's okay. I like that. I think it's okay. Dogs don't like to dress up as much as people think they do.

How about what do you have medically coming up?

What do I have medically coming up?

Well, listen, I was worried that I had some issue with the my ass for a while, but I feel like it's it's all squared up now. I get a funny in my knee where it feels like it's it's it's gonna go outer, I'm gonna fall down, But then it goes away, so I'm waiting for it to get worse.

You don't have to get it fixed. Now. You can wait till it gets unbearably painful, which.

Will I could. Yes, yes, it's just in the past year it's been it's made me decide to do it.

Have you tried fish oil?

You know?

You can lub it up from my from with I don't.

I rubbed just about everything on that hip and fish oil I do take fish. I do. I do take a lot of anti inflammatory loop up your joint type things, but this, once the bones are touching.

It's like, yeah, time to get a new hipp Yeah. Once your foot is swelling this inflammation. I didn't realize that we're all but are we really all inflamed? Or is this like gluten? We all had to quit eating gluten and now it's like no.

Well, yeah, I experienced because I was rheumatoidal for a while. That's an arthritic thing. And I was getting shots of cortison and pridmi zone. I'm scared, and I was walking like a little old man. And then I changed.

I did.

I quit eating bread and sugar and and dairy for like six months in the pain went away.

Wow.

And so just to troubleshoot and test it, I would end out of being weak.

I would you can have half of chocolate milkshake.

Yeah, and my knuckles would hurt a couple days later. It was really easy to gauge. So I believe in it, and believe in anything.

Well. I also don't think everybody has the inflammatory problem just but certain people do. And also just everything we have these days is.

Terrible I'm just airing it out.

Let's tar it out. Just do that.

That's fine, Yeah, because there's a we're really yapping it up.

Yeah, yeah, a lot of hot talk right back.

Talk about inflammation.

What's the biggest person you've ever had sex with?

Come on, well, we said our recent unstabled guy out on the streets desks and people.

Our stable guy. That's the morning radio show gimmick, right, Yeah, you gotta.

Send out a stutter or a guy with a lazy eye to go make people feel uncomfortable.

But he's got a certain skill, that guy, because he's willing to go up and talk to everybody, because a lot of people get shy in that situation. But he's like, no, I want to be famous and a part of the show enough that I'm going to overcome my shyness and come out of my cage.

That is just ninety percent of everyone in radio, And I think I just probably pissed off a lot of people.

Yeah, all the people who are listening to us to a radio show in a car.

That's the thing.

They won't because they're they're hardcore terrestrial listeners.

They're snooty man.

I was I you know, I'll be honest with you when you were getting batteries. I was having a conversation with Karen and we were talking about a guy who was a radio guy, and he I kept telling him, you know, you should try doing a podcast because he has the skills for it.

But he's just.

Prejudiced against them. He doesn't even listen to them. What about what about Mark Maron talked to the President? You didn't listen to that?

Yeah, no, come on, yeah, yeah, that's the radio that they forced you to do. When you do capsity in Austin, those guys you stick around for it and you're already there three hours, but they stick around for an additional hour and then they that's when they do their podcat cast. And that's when we had the most fun because it was no holds barred, you.

Can say whatever you want.

Yeah, yeah, it's good.

I think a lot of those guys that's their exit strategy. They're just waiting now to get fired from their radio job and just take it completely completely pody cast.

That's that's what they should do. It's the new we're all in control of our own destinies.

Yeah, and that can be scary, Yeah, it is.

Well, the fact that it doesn't pay anything. Is there's a little bit of a stumbling block.

Well, if you get your squarespace going, it can pay.

Oh, that reminds me.

He's all, well, I can vouch for them.

I'm a I'm a user, I'm a client, I'm a whatever they do.

I have a little store on there.

They sell my DVDs on my website. They don't. They have a thing where a person clicks the thing and then a friend of mine mails them to them.

But they they made all that possible.

Did they provide that friend.

No, I had to make that friend myself. But I'm can make friends. I can make friends. I'm making friends. If you think that's hard, try getting them to make stuff out.

Man. That's where it really gets true.

That's where the friendship gets tested.

And the thing is I mail him to him and he emails him. I mean, I mail him a box with a bunch of them. When he runs out, I gotta I gotta send him some more.

That's terrific.

And then another thing you can do on square space is you can get a thing that people click. I think my website that people can click and just give me money. And somebody did it really it was like, hey, if you want to support the podcast, just one so far it's only been up for a little while.

But yeah, all you have to do is find some guy some yet again, he's going to be mentally unstable too, but he lives on a boat and he's just got money.

Because oh, we're all looking for the rich, dumb guy.

Matthe mcconnie.

Well, it looks like a guy that follows his fashion set. That was a kid kid. I just watched Magic Mic the other day and I gotta say, uh, I'm open and I'm secure with how did you get to watch it? I was very attracted. I find the men to be attractive and I but not in my in my genitals, like.

Oh man, those guys are really good looking intellectually. If you were if you were into dudes, you it would be on.

You'd want to go to the library like them them in order that I would kiss their faces.

I sta had a gig in Vegas a few weeks ago.

And when you get off the plane to get on the tram to go to the baggage claim, there's a big poster for the Thunder from down Under and also there's a Chippendale's also, you know they got the billboards right across from each other.

But those guys aren't Australian.

Yeah, the Chippendales are not. There was only one Chippendale guy and he was pretty fit. But when you see the three Australian or five or how many they are, and they all got their shirts, they look like the thing. The thing about the Thunder from down Under is the premise is it's not like Chippendale's. It's like these guys are in a tuxedo collar, but they're just doing a sexy dance The Thunder from down Under. Those guys look like. These guys are working on a farm. It's very hot,

I like that.

Because that's the last time you're going to get to see abs again if you get married.

Unless you make a gay friend.

I wish that the Chip and Nails dancers, they actually sounded like the chipmunks, like and some guy came out and he's like Elven, stop dancing.

I think that'd be too much er.

I'd love to go on that meeting where you pitch that to a network. It's like the chip and Dale's. They all live in a house.

All right, there's a human a man that I know. They're human also, but this man without a chipmunk voice.

When they're not on stage, they get very small and he can carry him around in a little box.

But they're still really really built.

Wait a minute, this is all happening on stage. Try not to interrupt. So we pick a casino.

Let me think this through in your office.

I have to.

Invent a shrinking ray.

No, No, we can do it. They don't really get small. What kind of dumb ass are we pitching to? No, this is a special effect, you moron. We carry the tiny chippendales around in a box from g to gig.

We found No, it's dirty kind of idea, But could you stop calling me shuts?

Do you know the difference between pornography and ryebald naughtiness?

Because that's what we're going for.

That's the line we're going to skate.

It's a knife edge that we're going to be on to lick with some topless.

Men from Australia.

Yeah.

That's the thing I never understood about that saying is most swords are double edged. I mean there's never.

No, no, that's not that's that's wrong.

You're right, think about your your chefter.

You're right, you're right. There's a katana sord that's got one edge.

What couk two edge edges? It's like a knife. It's like a machete type of a knife.

I'm thinking of old timey Game of Throne type swords.

A lot of them are double edged.

Yeah, hey, you know that's coming up again.

Dude, watch that Thrones. Yes, I forget how much I love it, and then it comes on again. But we just finished watching. Do you watch Vikings? O MG? Yes, yeah, you see it on Amazon Prime.

Well, pony up.

It doesn't cost that much and you get free two day shipping and goes.

Here and you feel Thrones.

It's Spiking, except it's about Vikings, right, right, So they're just it's great. The guy who plays the head Viking, we see it unfloat fold in the first season, but he's pretty awesome. The haircuts in the first season. In all the seasons, but the first seasons, they hairdoos and tattoos. It's pretty great.

So is there a lot of man buns?

Yeah? I wouldn't call him man buns, but.

Something that time. That times.

First, do they ever fix their hair back so they can kill more efficiently?

Yeah?

Oh man, the battles are pretty gruesome. Yeah. I mean those guys were like their dream is like, well, maybe we'll get killed and that will be great because then we can go to Valhalla. But if we don't get killed, we're bringing back some gold.

Oh wow.

Yeah, I'm gonna watch that.

Vikings is so good and you can watch I think now three seasons are available on the Amazon.

I did going back to Game of Thrones, saw the billboard on Vine driving up Vine and it was just John snow and something and that's it just said like with.

The date he ceased.

I literally I know.

And I had like a full, like gaspy excitement moment.

Yeah. Why would they allude to him being alive again?

What if all the dead characters have gone to some kind of limbo zone that they can be retrieved from.

He could be a walker.

Now that's what you keep forgetting. But that still is wearing makeup and very handsome.

Yeah, yeah, and maybe love can bring them back, maybe bring us.

Back to together.

Love will keep us together.

Well, knowing we have to spend twelve I forget clear that.

I don't think clear that needle drop.

I think we didn't sing enough of it. And besides, on podcasts, as long as you're not advertising, you don't.

Crap.

I don't even know why you're doing advertising. You're getting rich? Are you guys rich? No? I mean because if you are, you should get a limp brush someday.

Yeah, come on, face.

The money's rolling in.

Well, yeah, I got one of those tape roller things.

She good sponsored by card detailing business.

Get this thing taken care of.

So I'm ready for Game of Thrones. But it takes so long for it to be Game of Thrones time again. So that's why I've got all these other shows that I've got relationships with, like Vikings, Peaky Blinders.

Peaky Blinders, that haircuts, Peaky Blinders. It gets better. You got to stick with it and go through it.

I'll go back.

And then I also recommend ripper streets enjoy skateboarding. No, it's about guys who just work their abs all day long to get ripped.

Damn it and then they walk up the street.

My script shred zone. Damn it.

I thought that that was about frosted many weeks.

It's all these people that work at the miniweeds factory and just it's an office comedy, or it's.

It's a Haliburton thing.

We got to tread these documents.

Secret, secret secret.

I like that.

I like that riff.

Well we I mean, you should go home to your family.

I feel like we've are you saying, were you ready to tap out?

No?

No, it's no, this was good.

I enjoyed it.

But my wife is probably we got we got a hand on tread zone.

What we just did was park in a way that any other normal American would have We would have all been getting high the way we.

Just parked this car and sat in it. But we didn't.

We just we don't get, do we do? I don't get. I don't either get higher personal me either.

One time, the one time I did when I was young, and it was really scary to me. We went to a park just like that and uh and and parked off in the corner where no one could find us, like the cops, And it was a bong. I was taking rips off this pong and I rolled down the window to blow a bunch of smoke out, and my dad and his wife parked right next to us, and I literally, yeah, I love it.

I'm going to start describing my parents as my dad and his wife, even though even though she is my mom, or maybe my mom and her husband, because that's kind of sometimes I feel a little bit like that guy. Yes, take a right down to that and take another pregnancy.

That woman, Vyva is a sweet looking d Yeah, that was kind of you got that right.

Did you blow pot smoke into your father's part, Yes.

And it's pretty crest He just kind of smiled.

He knew.

I don't think my dad would have known, well, I guess no, I don't think it would have known. I remember when I was in my early twenties having a conversation about somebody smoking pot that I knew, and then have having my mother or father saying like, have you ever smoked pot? Like in a way that was like have you ever been to the moon?

Right right right? Like you've been?

Oh my god, what? And we think we're about to get in trouble even though we're grown up, But it's also out of curiosity. I think because my dad has these headaches and they've been a problem because of the ex which is the only option to get rid of him, and he just now in his life started smoking marijuana to help with that. So it's so funny. I was visiting and he ha's like all these different varieties and it helps him helps him sleep.

I was just in the I was just in Minneapolis. I think if you can remember back to a long time ago in this show, and I saw a friend of mine who's got MS and he has got tried the medical marijuana. He's off all of his other prescription muscle relaxant stuff.

So now we just need.

To whip around and go back to my driveway because of my bag is so heavy you can't do go to the next where the next stop sign up, and then you can whip around at.

That And just so you know, of case you want to stock him, we're in the valley somewhere.

Yeah, yeah, we're in a van in the valley. Ho much.

It's the jolly look.

I think the valley's all right, it's right if you want to buy.

You know where I went recently. That just blew my socks off. As Glendale beautiful. I'm serious. I was like, I'm going to live here if I ever become a regular up the hills. It was just the downtown area.

I went to, Oh, yeah, you can't go because there's a lady with a dog.

She's very impatients.

Real is this good as well?

Go up to go up to the next driveway a little bit, and then you can. You can just whip in behind our car. Just not yet, but the next one, this one right here, right here, right here, behind the white car.

It's very drunk or here or here right here is perfect.

Yeah, this is good. We're right on the street. No, right here, it's perfect. Pull up a little bit, and then I just wanted to how did I want to tell you? I want to no. I wanted to say, you know, Karen was going to do the benefit show for my daughter's school, but she came down with some kind of I had fluish thing right, so she couldn't sing. So I'm gonna invite her to do that this year. And it's usually in the fall, and maybe you guys both wanted.

To a year ago.

Well it was in the fall, so this is still this this We're not even in the spring yet.

It was it was. It was.

I mean, just because I'm here right now, you don't have to invite me.

Yeah, no, I want you to do it.

No I'm saying I do not want to.

Oh you don't want to.

It's so hard. I'm making a face that would let you know.

I can't see if this is the funny because of the way that we're ranged in the car in the back. I've just been looking at the back of your heads this whole It's what if what if we were doing a show in a studio, But this is the way you insisted on us all sitting.

Car.

It's just a power play.

Yes, it's like we try to stimulate being in a car.

I would love to do that show. I'd love to raise money for your daughter.

Well, it's a fun it's a fun crowd.

Yeah.

How did that go?

It went well. It was a fun night.

And it's kids kids there.

No, no, no, no, it's all grown ups. No kids are allowed to come. They asked me, They said, oh, can we bring our kids? And I said no, and our kids are pretty grown up teenagers. And I said, it just makes it weird for the other people in the room to see a comedian talking about something that maybe is fine for your kid to hear, but other people then go, is that okay that he just said blowjob in front of that child?

You can't do that. And I know you guys want to do your blowjob stuff.

So I have a full book of blowjob jokes.

Uh. Catheter the catheter?

Ohial, that's the kind of the seamless Uh from catheter to blowjob?

Do you still do the finale where you pull out the catheter at the end of.

The show and and spray the front row.

It's not with real No, it's fake.

It's champagne.

That's when the party's here.

I first set it on New Year, but you should help me wring it up so that it could we could pour everyone in the room's glass from my cathter.

You thought we were finished, we.

Fished, We were no way finished. You were just resting upout.

You guys are awesome.

And then where you're going somewhere? Is it Detroit?

I'm going Detroit in a couple of a couple of weeks if you want to pick me up at the airport from.

It's called the Comedy Castle.

Comedy. It's not actually in Detroit, it's in Royal Oak, Michigan, but if you live in Detroit, it's very close.

Is that a fun club?

It was really fun. Last year was the first time I did it.

And it's owned by this old old school comedy fan guy, so it's a great They take care of the audience. That the books cool acts.

It's really fun.

And I went to the Motown Museum highly recommend, which is in the house. It's the house where they recorded all that music that sounds.

Oh I've heard about that?

Is that the Is that the one where they show you how they they put the microphones up into the attic to get that sack.

Handclapping echo thing.

Yeah, it's pretty great. It's a great tour that.

Yeah, well that sounds fun. If you live in the Detroit area. You should go see Jake Johansson because he makes me laugh more than most people.

Or my website jake this dot com.

You can find out the other places I'm going, like Melbourne, Australia for the Comedy Festival.

Or you can click on a thing and just.

Give me money, yeah random. Or I've got a link to Amazon, so you can go to my website click the Amazon link. Then when you buy things on Amazon. Two days, you get a little do.

You have that?

Do you have that yet? If you should get that, it's easy.

You can set it up. It's easy to set up.

You can say so sorry if I went on and just went and bought a book, but through your website, then you get a little.

Kickback because you click the link on my site to go to Amazon. Then Amazon says, oh, we're giving Jake a kickback for that. It's called it's affiliates programming. It's wow, but it says it doesn't cost the people were buying anything anything extra. It just is you're helping to advertise Amazon. I guess it's their thing.

That's nice.

Wow, and so such a cool world.

It's cool.

Yeah, I like it. I like the people go on walks while they look at their individual phones. It's better than having some mundane conversation, forced conversations.

Better than having your boyfriend walk behind.

You with a bag with a pocket full of shit planning is death to leave you because he hates your deut so much.

Yeah, man, that's possibility.

Which one of them? It's not the one hundred percent true, she could be the one who's leaving, just like, yeah, I'm out walking the dog.

When did she get off the hook tonight?

We're faking her death.

He's in on it, whispering to the dog.

I'm just going to give you enough hamburger to knock you out, and that way.

You won't have to testify.

Your little neighbor looks like he's quick to anger. Anyone who walks with their hands and fists, you know it's just ready to fly off.

Then with your hands.

No, no, I'm a carefree guy.

You're more blade hands. Like Tom Cruise running.

Yes, they walk like Tom Cruise running.

He runs in a way.

He runs in a way that no one runs that way, and it makes you think, like, do I not know how to run? That's how good of an actor. Tom Cruise is, like, I've never seen anyone do that. I must be doing everything wrong.

We all must be doing him wrong.

Yeah, Alon Hubbard told him how to run. Yeah he did it.

God I admire him.

God damn, he's good.

He's great. He is great.

Thanks for being on.

Do you need a ride, Yeah, we love it when we pick you up.

And if you're in Detroit, go see him. I'm going to be in town for a while. I have nothing to plug. Watch almost genius on True TV.

Oh yeah, your TV show almost genius.

It's a show that.

Host can you can you can? I watch it on Amazon Prime.

I don't know.

I think just True TV.

I want to watch it. My dv R thing turns itself off, so I can't program it to record things and count on it. And I need to call customer service. But it's in my wife's name, so she has to call customer services.

Now you have to talk to her about talking to someone, and she.

Doesn't want to call customer service.

No one does.

I know.

This is why.

Yeah, fake your death, don't actually kill yourself actually killing yourself.

Render after you fix that, start over in Santa Barbara.

That sounds great.

That's not far enough away. I don't think it's not. I don't think so people will find you.

I don't.

I mean, don't blame me if it goes along.

You'll see Karen.

Closing arguments, what are you doing? Not much? I'm waiting to hear about a job starting.

So I'm truly in a very frightening, excited middle ground.

I bet I'm we'll see. I know a little bit about it can divulged too much right now, because that's a Omen.

It sounds exciting, so to the Omen, this time they already made one.

The parents are filled with the devil.

Yeah, twister roofs, grown ups up the corn.

It takes place on earth, but everyone is possessed by the devil except for one person.

You mean, like thirty five other movies. Sorry I didn't listen.

Oh okay, guys, he's done it.

Stick a fork in it.

It's hard to finish this thing. I mean, once you've got batteries. It's who wants to stop talking?

This should be a four hour podcast.

I've been okay, we'll talk about Thanks for listening to Do you need to ride? You've been listening to d Yan?

Here are out?

I leave?

You want to way back?

You?

Do you want to me?

There doesn't matter how much that did you claim? Give us time and a turn and al and gay. We want to send you off inside. Do you want to welcome you back home?

Tell us all about every scared he was?

It?

Fine? Now porn? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need

With Karen and Chris