Ep. 69 - TODD BARRY

Are you leaving on?

You wanta way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much that I gave you claim and give us time and a turman al and gay.

We want to send you off InStyle. Do you wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about it? We scared her?

Was it fine?

Now?

Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need ride? Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks. Karen Kilgarriff has a stomach bug. I don't want to alarm anyone. I think it's not an actual bug. That's horrifying if you think about it though, just an insect inside her. And I hate to put that in your head because it's not what it is. She probably is just a stomach ache. She's not here. I am here with Todd Barry. Hey, hey Todd, what's up the airport?

Yeah? I'm really.

That's because I'm terrible podcasting while I'm driving.

Might to make a choice, I will put driving ahead of uh thinking of witty things to say?

Okay, cause that takes.

All of my energy is trying to conjure things that are interesting to say.

Do you want me to give you the directions?

Like on the air, I think that two miles you have, you have two miles before you get you Can you continue.

On to loss again? Ah? Yes, where I'll take a left.

Uh yeah, yeah.

I know some of the stuff going in here, but yeah, and then then I have to shift to asking.

You a question like, uh, how how was New Orleans? I know in fact you were at the Oh it was good.

I did. Uh. I did one of my crowd work shows. It was really good. Did an hour and a half, some fun people there.

And for you, the crowd work shows, you just do not allow yourself to do any maternal just walk up there and start talking. Now, when you allow the audience to be part because you are by having it be a crowd work show, do they act.

Like No, they don't. They're very ten like they're not Wow. I think it's because I get my fans who are generally polite and right, awful and smart, right, or.

Maybe a couple of distas, but they yeah, so they're kind of.

Into it without being like, oh, we get they don't they don't interpret it as oh, we get to yell.

And scream and just be jerious, right. I can only imagine it happening that way. People that are nice, people that think they're funny, that are going to your show instead of their first open mic.

That would drive me nuts. What do you mean, like going there to be funny?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it definitely has happened, but not like not in a way that's like we're at particularly for.

Someone out or anything. Yeah.

How about the show we did in Missoula.

Wasn't that the most fun? Right? I was really proud of my town.

Because they they came out right there.

Yeah, well they were if you remember, and they listened. They even selected which jokes they thought were good and bad were the Uh, they really liked the good jokes.

I guess. The other show we did there was a.

Little bit of kind of browny drunken.

Yeah, people drink a lot there, and that crowd was like, nope, let's sit and watch this.

Why did they drink so much?

Bored I think it is boredom, and I think it's because it's cheap to buy alcohol and it's expensive to buy food at restaurants. So people are like, well, I'll just eat whiskey for dinner. I'm serious. No, I believe it's expensive to eat and maybe to get food in Montana, and then Laker is so cheap.

Also, yeah, it's just a town that drinks a lot.

I don't know, like Wisconsin or something.

I think they start drinking in the winter time out of boredom Alaska.

Did they drink?

And so even when the weather is nice, they're like, well, I'm in the habit of drinking.

I'm as well drinking. But they were it.

They just were acting like an audience that watches watch us stand up a lot.

Which to Tucson was great.

Did t.

I say Tempe and people will correct you and say Tempee? Oh?

Is it ad a bunch of ease at the end there?

Yeah, unless someone really is like, uh, could be.

Disrespectful, right, I th I think it's disrespectful when a town like in Austin they have a street called Guadaloup Uh huh. And I took enough Spanish in college to know it's Guadaloupe. Yeah, but they will correct you. I'm like, oh,

Spanish, Kelly, that's the Guadaloup. Oh really, may this pronounced it in Spanish?

Maybe there's a reason, Maybe there's like a history to it, Like you know, we have Houston Street in New York, Yeah.

Which is spelled like Houston.

Okay, so maybe there's like a someone who's like, no, I know it's spelled the same, but yeah, I'm my call. I say Guadaloup and I'm gonna have a street named after me?

Yeah, it's my guess is it's Texas calling it out to Houston when the word is housed in Texas likes to adopt words.

I mean it could be just uh, I don't know different. I don't even know what house the street is named after.

Yeah, this is probably not Samuel Houston, Samuel will h Houston.

I don't know if it's h actually sounds like it should be. It should be.

What else you got?

Oh, I'm sorry, I was just paying attention to driving straight on a road without any traffic on it. Sometimes that takes all my brain powers to my god. Oh yeah, they're those places everything but the produce. I'm I'll buy their limes, but they actually, yeah, they're grocery stores.

Idn't know the grocery store. I mean I did of those. I don't remember groceries, but that's been a while.

It's amazing what you can get for now.

And it's a really fun game to just hold stuff up and say how much is this?

Because it's gonna be a dollar?

See what? I always wonder if that stuff's counterfeit, that kid is bad at driving?

Oh right, I mean maybe I don't Maybe it's not like even then name brand dish soap.

Yeah, I mean they can knock off, but I mean someone.

Could really bothered knockoff.

Yeah, you think, like, what, what's like they're gonna make this big of a profit. But I remember one time at a ninety nine cent store, I found ninety nine cent Tapatillo sauce, which retails.

For like four or five dollars.

And I bought a bunch of them, like I'm just this hot sauce guy.

I like hot sauce, yeah, but so much tapatillo.

Yeah, there's times I've hoorded hot sauce And do you realize, Oh, I'm not quite is it the hot sauce as I thought it'd be, as I look at this bottle that I bought nine years ago?

Yeah, I love hot sauce.

Go I want some down.

I think it always makes me feel bad when my dad will buy like a giant.

You know you can get at Costco a tub of mustard.

Yeah, and then you think, wow, this might be the last mustard I ever buy. I might die before I finished this. I don't ever want that much of any sauce.

They well, that's how Costco works, you know.

They just they market themselves dying.

Choices and give you massive quantities sauce special.

Oh really, so are they evil? And no, no, no, it's just it's smart. Like they have like four.

Thousand items in the store, whereas like Target might have the thirty five thousand or something. Right, I don't know if there are the exact numbers, but that's the idea, so that instead of like, hey there's eight sizes of tail and all that you can buy, let's put them all over that we'll put them all on the shelves. So you get frazzled when you're deciding, sure, is that here, here's the three hundred you want that?

Okay? I guess yeah.

There's some kind of futuristically lazy about that then, But it's I like going in and going you know what I do need muffins and winter tires and jeans and tailand all's.

That membership thing now, Oh that's where they get you. Well, I mean like I went with my brother. It's in a place where there's a costco and it's gonna be you.

Know, like we buy me these razor blades and I'll pay you back, and then it just feels weird.

I just said, fucking.

Did you you don't belong to some dollar shaf club or something.

I did join the dollar Shaft. Good, I can cancel my membership.

Oh really, well, they.

Were I think I don't know if they were great the best razors. I think I bought the bottom tier version of that warship. But also they were coming at me so like like I don't shave four times a day, right right, right, slow down, And I think I actually got a slower that if you if you click to cancel the like, is this because we send them too much? Then there's like this secret little uh like there's the secret Netflix like light program.

Oh that's interesting. I do this Harry's thing and it's just you order them when you need.

I had, yeah, someone I know someone who did marketing for them, and they hooked me up with Harry.

It's nice. There's a Harry's store.

In New York.

I would go there.

Once you get a free one, you don't want to be like, I'm not going to buy or.

Yeah, so you get upset to you.

I haven't yet. I've I just I haven't made it through the first round of razors.

It kind of feels good, though.

It's better than the Gillette Vibrating mock three race car razor I had.

Why do you so you you bought one? My dad got it for me. It's like I bought one of these and I got you one.

I'm like, oh, it's hard to get excited about a simple razor.

When mine vibrates.

I got through the vibrating one away.

Yes, you can. You get where it is.

I have two of them. My dad always buys me razors.

I still, really that's cool Christmas. You know what's a good shame of creebe is a pro rasso.

Do you ever have that? I thought you were gonna say barbersol?

That actually is because I got all these fancy ones that I had something what I what's someone?

What the phone was like? It's like, oh this is just good.

Yeah, all of being a lollie and uh she had a lot of families to No.

No, that's something about being in a car makes everyone say.

Yeah, me too.

Piss fucking off right now, podcast rage. I'm the guy that does not swear. I say pissed fucking off. No one's ever said that darbasol has alcohol in it. It drives your face, makes you look grink.

Is that what the guy.

Makes your face?

No, it's a good I think so he was outdoors yelling at a parking meter.

I don't think you were grasso. Get that. It's Italian.

You can get it for like ten dollars or two maybe cheaper.

It sounds it sounds like I'm really good, gonna put spaghetti sauce on my face, pro rasso.

If today was your birthday, I would buy you in Oh thanks, if today was your birthday And I said let's pull over to a.

Place that.

Rather than the airport. This is it's a very very your temperate where you stand. Just Jennifer's guesthouse.

I've never said it's guest house.

I've always wanted to live in a guest I mean it's a.

Good friend of mine. I just I don't know if it's gonna feel.

Weird. You don't want to say who the friend is. He's not like a famous commedian.

I could tell you it's uh is that he's got a famous persons. Well, his name's Jonathan Groff, but it's not the actor.

Oh okay, oh wow, No, oh okay.

I knew him what he was doing stand up.

I would know what he looks like. Then is he the red haired guy? Well, he hasn't been there in years. Yeah, I'm thinking of when.

He runs traffic ahead Blackish.

He runs okay, and he's he did as some show with Casey Wilson.

I forgot, forgot forget the name of is that MEI that?

Yeah?

That was that was weird. That's bizarre.

Yeah, all of a sudden, Uh yeah, I am.

You mentioned your brother. I met your brother.

It's so interesting to meet siblings.

It blows my mind every time.

I just met my roommate's dad and it's just a different version.

Of him, but it's the same. You can tell that it's your brother.

But he had like a different He was like, hey, terrific, like he'd just yeah, I wouldn't say you said that before, And that's not what I'm saying.

A big fae self. What's the word I'm looking for? Self deprecating?

Right? Right?

Oh, you're taking a round.

Uh oh, it's gonna be the same route. Yeah, and it'll it'll be better. Yeah. And you get to see the.

Texas of Los Angeles, all these oil ribs just.

Drilling for bubble.

Yeah. Yeah, I wish you had been able to. He was golfing the whole time that you were in Missoula. He's like non stop golfing. I think at the last minute he wants to be people.

Who love golf, really love golf.

It sounds like that's all they want to do.

Well.

It's funny because I've seen in his life he'll get mad at golf and not do it for a decade.

Really.

Yeah, he's quit forever before and then picks it golf.

Well, have you ever done it?

I've never really golfed, Like I lived in Florida where all these golf courses right across the street from me, and I just never I think I played like kitchen put ones, and I don't think I ever played full.

On round with golf.

Isn't that weird?

Yeah, no, it isn't. I mean, because it's something that it's.

Hard to be good at right away, so it's frustrating. It's like a commitment. If you want a golf you better mark off a couple of days a week for the rest of your life so one day you can.

Maybe be good at it. It's very frustrating. When I was a kid, I was okay. I swung at it like it was a baseball.

Does look fun, though, I mean I could see probably why people get.

Yeah, it's you're outside, it's I am always cool with your friends, Yeah.

Assaulting each other. Did people drink a lot while they're golfing?

I used to in Austin. Helped me.

You were a better golfer well after two or three during because it looms you up. No, it did it helped it? Like you think, get drunk before. They probably not. They know how to be loose already. I would all be all stiff. You know how, drunk people don't die when they're in a car wreck.

That's how it.

Helped me golf.

Then you have all these alcoholic rationalizations.

Yeah, yeah, it makes you play golf better, it does. It does you won't die in a car.

Accident, even though you probably cause that accident. No.

Well, I've always thought driving and golf were really similar. That's right. Right now, I'm three sheets. I have golf with these. Uh.

I worked in a screen printing shop and these guys were in an Iron Maiden cover band.

They have long hair and they were metal heads.

Yeah, and they were the best golfers I'd ever golf with.

And they got really drunk and part every whole. It was bizarre.

Kind of takeing a different route here, but that's fine.

Yeah, yeah, I think that, uh.

Four miles you want to go up right on the edgewood?

Okay, let's I've done this way before, and so I just started doing it.

You know how when you're like a lot of ways to skin a cat, right, yes.

Yes, And and when you're from an area, you don't you never you never pay attention to how you're skinning a cat. You just know you're you're killing a lot of cats in your hometown. We think about getting a cat, I I one, I'm all for it. I'm a cat man.

You just think it'll leg the happier person.

It's nice to fluffball. You're right, you should. I think you should get a cat.

I should get a kitten, right, enjoy that kid experience.

I mean you can get a pretty young cat. I think at the places little kid.

You don't want them to have any baggage.

I'm not that. I just want the experience of, like, well, if I'm gonna get one as well.

Enjoy that little kid.

I just thought, ow cute it would be if you did adopt a cat and he came with baggage, like he.

Had his luggage, little doggy bagh.

That'd be nice. Yeah, leftover sandwich. He uh.

I The good thing about cats that I think would be frustrating with dr dogs as you can leave them right for several days with food.

In a litter box, and they're fine.

They's note several days things Yeah weird.

They're fine without humans. They don't need us. That's why you don't see homeless people with cats.

You don't know with a.

Cat, following them around you have. Yes, those are eccentric people. They're not homeless something. Some homeless people are eccentric.

If you're legitimately homeless. Cat's not gonna work.

I guess in the city there's just cats and people, you know, living in trash cans.

Like a dude like a cat that's on his shoulder like a parakeet.

Yeah, that's just an eccentric guy. He might be poor like a home.

Who's a dude in New York who occasionally see who has like a cat on his head?

Oh wow, that's bizarre to make. I love cats.

I had one, but I flew it to my dad's because I moved into a place where I couldn't have a litter box.

My place is that small my places, See that's the problem.

Mind.

Like, I've been looking at fancy litter boxes. I found one that's like a top it's a top loader.

H huh.

I don't think it would work while it was in the kit in face, but it's it's the most compact one and it's sleep looking. But it's still like it's just a little too much.

For because I have a I have a studio apartment, believe it or not. It's a pretty big studio.

You're saving your money then, yeah, if.

You know what I spend think you would not say, oh that's oh man.

Well now think about that.

There's things you can do.

I think we can talk about it, even off off off cast.

No.

I think I could just get this little box to deal with it and.

Clean, keep clean and right, and you can get self cleaning ones. That's the only gross part is doing.

Just what the smallest one possible because it's a small bathroom. Yeah, and it's not like my kitchen.

Right, No, put next to my bed. I had mine in my closet for a while.

I don't have enough closet space.

It was awful. That was the only space I had.

And and uh, I don't think I have to let you in on a little secret. I smelled like cat piss all the.

Time, the worst. See that that is a little concerned about.

I made friends with a lot of old ladies during that time.

Though.

Is this rodeo here? Is this the different rodeo?

This is the one that I was supposed to turn right on? Should I turn right on it?

Well, it doesn't say that now. It says right on to Edgewood. See I knew. I knew Rodeo was a bad or Rodeo.

I'm hungry man.

Should we eat? We can eat in loose feelings. I know exactly where to go, really, yeah, right by where you're staying.

Were going to go.

I don't know the name of it. It's a lot like streets in l A. I just know where it's located and.

That specific Yeah. How is it the Bustard Cafe?

It might be bust Why do you know the name of it?

Yeah, No, I've been to the Mustard Seed Cafe. I don't care for that place. It's not on that street. You're you're mentioning places on o Vermont on Hillhurst. Yes, yeah, but I hope they start talking about cats again.

Off camera.

No, I'm I do want to talk about cats. I'm a bit I'm a cat man.

I like dogs too.

Have you ever had a kid?

This guy's nutsuck at him.

There's a lot of crazy people out here. Yes, I've had all ages that kid phase?

Are they peeing all over the place?

Cats quickly learn and instinctively learn how to use a litter box.

They do not.

It's not like a puppy who a dog may piss everywhere.

I feel like once a cat piss is, you're done, Like sht, get that smell out.

The cat pie is worse than dog p Yeah. You you don't want him to be on anything that can't be washed, like a mattress.

Now that's interesting, Like I've asked, like I gonna when I like petfinders dot coms, like some people one of the chows like you want to mail or female because like what.

Difference is make?

Yeah, that's right, Well that's because you're a feminist.

But I mean, seriously, what if you get a cat. It's not like you're got an orientation.

Towards you know, I've I've and it's gonna sound terrible. My favorite cats have been male one and maybe it's a bonding thing. But I there's and newtered of course, so that that should bring him back to just being yeah, you know of.

Sex so skitty because you're literally cutting off there there.

It's terrible, but you should do that if you do get a cat, gotta get a newt or yet, Yeah, you might go in the hallway and make babies.

The Yeah, that's the worst.

You gotta listen to Bob Barker, So there you get that because I went to this pet store.

The other day and I just looked at like little minie kitten litter box. It's such adorable. You just imagine a little kitten that scampering around in there.

Yeah, just sat down his luggage and uh, I guess you have to do.

You got to do that. And then they get bigger than you get the fancy litter box.

Well yeah, I mean you might as well.

Get the big They aren't going to be intimidated by a full sized litter box.

I don't think I was told that you gotta get a smaller one at the beginning. Oh really, well, it's like it's a I think probably, I mean I took it.

It's like it's hard for the declimb into it. Well maybe it's a top loader. You can't get a top load.

For you know that you might.

I mean it's setting your sights a little higher because not every cat is gifted enough to do it.

My cat used to go in the toilet.

Serious, I've always heard about that, but I've never known anyone who pulls.

So it's a litter box. Especially if you get a young cat, you you will pull it off. It's it's a litter box.

That is a circle, of course, and in the middle there's sand also. Then eventually take the middle compartment out and then it's a sand doughnut, so they're kind of peeing around the edge.

And after a couple of weeks it's just a cat carefully peing in your toilet.

Seriously.

Yeah, I've seen them do it. It's amazing.

You know. Is that on YouTube? Because I will look for that, Yes, because that's like the perfect solution.

Oh, there's enough of them, Yeah, you just it would be you'd have to treat it like your hobby for a while to you know, and it's kind of hard.

To train cats.

The cat I would advantage of not getting a kid would be I kind of like the idea of it. If I come home, it's like, hey, we met earlier, you know, I'm chill and I'm just gonna.

Be Yeah, it's the best. I think you'll like cat.

They're they're and they're affectionate, but not in your face all the time like dogs often are. Like every second they have to remind you how much they love you.

It's like, oh.

God, you're so desperate, like dogs are.

No dogs also will bite you.

They'll they'll kill a baby.

No one, no one should have brought that up, but we brought him, brought it up simultaneously.

They're unpredictable. A cat will scratch your baby.

Sure, I got scratched as a as a baby by the cat. Frank, that just makes you a better person.

You stoard.

Oh weird because I'm seeing a Supergirl billboard, you know, I'm seeing that now.

I'm seeing that looks like Tori Evan since that Torri Eables, it's pretty unlikely Tori.

Ables super Girl and that she got twenty years younger, but that.

Woman does look like the It's such a weird place. What's what area?

Is this right now? Famous for the album Under the Pink. We are on LaBrea right now.

So is this what would you call this area? Hollywood does not helpwood.

This is just simply Los Angeles.

That's just simply well.

I people dissect it and make it.

I'm sure it's called, like, you know, County Park or something.

Yeah, I made that outbound. If it's called County Park.

I'd see there's a sign that's County Museums. I think this is called County Museum Park. This area this is called Steve Jobs s Steve Jobs Supergirl Park. Oh man, I just ruined the episode for that. Did Yeah, that was a skinker. What I don't under stand? Speaking of Billboards the Walk, I mean there's a documentary. We saw it actually happen already.

In the documentary. You don't need to see a dramatization. No, I think I heard that movies all right, though. You know what, I'm a big fan of what's his name?

Love It.

Yeah, he doesn't have to have French Stewart with him.

For me to like him. A lot of people need to have French Stewart in the room.

Did you you saw on or yeah?

And oh I I yeah. The documentary it's terrific.

Yeah.

The most amazing thing is that there was no video footage. No, still great?

Yeah, yeah, they don't actually because he was doing it, if you remind me, he was doing it really of course illegally, and they did. But did the cops they arrested him.

I think he got arrested. Yeah, I don't remember, like if they it's probably what it was. I mean, I can't speak for the cops. There's gotta be like half like we got to rest the sky and hold the ship.

That's pretty fucking sometimes I like to speak for the cops. I get a party to be like, all right, everyone, time to go home.

It's not even my party.

I should have called the cops about the headphones I lost in my flight over here.

They wouldn't do anything. They wouldn't they they'd just uh write a report, say they were gonna look into it.

Those earphones are gonetels.

Oh h, drug dealers. They deal a little drugs men who deal drugs and ladies?

Is that?

Murderers?

The occasional retired murderer will stay at the Royal Hawaiian. It's shady people that I see coming in and out of there. Although I kind of like the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. It's got a history too. Really, it's got a little teak. Look there's a little mask, teaking mask. See yeah, yeah, I miss.

This Edgewood place. We are in Hollywood now.

Taco Super Taco, super Calito.

That's great because it's a taco truck. But then they have a little building where you can go eat them. Oh really, yeah, it's great, isn't.

That because that's part of the truck truck thing. I don't like.

Yeah, yeah, you have to stand by an exhaust pipe are you doing a show tonight.

No, I haven't had a show for a while.

I really peaked with those shows we did in Arizona weeks ago. Yeah, isn't that terrible. I've done stand up a few times, but uh.

You lost the fire. I maybe the booking getting booked fire. I lost that.

But when I have had shows, I'm still having a lot of fun doing it.

Yeah.

I enjoy it quite a bit more than I did ever before in my comedy career.

Really enjoying it now than ever.

What's the next goal?

Oh, man, I don't know, Conan, maybe again, that's the only what else you know?

I'm being realistic.

I should watch your coming.

Oh thanks, I should watch it. No, thank you for learning.

Yeah, thank you for feeling that you should watch it?

Oh well, no, thanks man, No, it went well. I think I was relaxed.

Oh like, yeah, I would never I don't know how to just stipulate. What would I do with my hands? Did you use no mic?

I've thought it both ways.

You like it with a mic? Right?

I do? But I sometimes because I kind of jerk the mic a little bit, and I think it might be more noticeable on TV.

Yeah, yeah, I mean it's you know.

Some fucking content or something.

I mean, just I thought I just the fact that you thought that was grounds to drop the sea bomb.

I met that in the British Oh you out of the sex ed.

We're doing it at Amazing Black.

Oh you're a sneaky little Volvo, aren't you.

She She just nonchalantly.

From oh on the drive here. Hell yeah, I'll show you Gary Busey's house. Do you.

Do you see a lot of slips in their cars?

You know? I haven't, And I think it's because I'm not looking.

But every once in a while, like one day, I was on high alert because I saw I jogged. It was at the time I was jogging jogged past Josh Brolin and because he's short, is he and yeah, I thought be a bigger guy. He was just I thought he was this guy that did these shows at the Palms, these this play playboy radio guy.

He's like, hey, how you been, Like I really Court McCown, he says.

I thought he was Court McCown.

It's like, oh, you look good, and he's like, hey, do I know you? And I was like, oh, you're a famous actor, aren't you. I'm sorry, And I just ran away.

Was so embarrassing.

And then right after that, I saw Pink and I'm like, oh, I think I'm just non celebrity high alert.

At the on right by the bars at.

The end, by the cow's end, he was jogging on the sand like me. We jogged past each other. I actually stopped and said, hey, how you been.

He was the guy.

I'm like, oh shit, you're James Brolin's kid. And then I ran away. I was pretty embarrassed.

His daughter worked in a Coming of the New York She was very sweet, really yeah.

Very nice. She Wow, that's amazing.

Very chill, down to earth, like you never know what he was, and she like had a movie star.

Wow, yeah, that is surprising.

Well, he seems to be chilling down to earth and he had a movie star far well, I don't know his movie stars, but he's in Peevie's Big Adventure. And then I saw it later that day. Saw the guy that played Kramer when they redid Seinfeld within the show Seinfeld.

You know that guy.

He was in Breaking Bed. Also, it's like the Magnet guy. He's just a it's he's a he's a character actor that you've seen a lot of things, but it's funny to see him during the day.

He was like yelling at some Just because you're riding a bike doesn't mean that you He was like yelling at a guy. Yeah.

Another time I saw Daniel Stern digging through the garbage, angry and swearing.

What happened to Daniel Stern?

I don't know.

He looked he had like leaves in his hair and he was angry and he was like tearing through the garbage like his kid had thrown away his.

Retainer or Yeah. I've always liked him. I there is I think diner.

I think that's one of the best movies I've ever seen.

My favorite movie with him in it is, uh, Breaking Away.

The Cutters. Yeah, it's good. It's Dennis Claydon.

Him and it's loosely about cycling.

And here's that kid at that dude there, who's really good who I haven't seen it much.

Oh yeah, who disappeared and then he came back. He had like three days well he disappeared and then and then he came back. And then he's like in The Watchman and he played it.

Scary's rough man. You could really just there's people who are like what happened to that.

Yeah, and and they don't know what happened either, Like there's no rhyme or reason.

I just wonder, like when someone disappears as a drug thing, is it I got sick of the jobs?

Thing?

I t I bet is it the work dried up thing?

I bet it's all those things. I'd bet. I w I could relate.

Most with the second one, and just realizing that, oh, things aren't as good as they were a couple of years ago. Maybe I'll just go ahead and start with this web design thing that I also do. Yeah, I th I c I would do that.

That's probably why I'm as famous as I because I never got the book, but I just kept going all the rejection.

Here.

You've always it's so funny to hear successful people that think that they aren't. My dad was on an airplane and heard Paul Newman complaining.

About his career.

Seeing He's like, oh, some amount of work actor behind me, And they looks and it's Paul Newman.

So your your dad was sitting Paul did ahead front.

My dad was in first class, Paul Newman was in coach. Where was this? He watched my dad to eat his free meal.

Where was this.

I don't there's details Bellier, but maybe it was Robert Redford. I don't know. Maybe it's a story someone.

Told him, but it happened. It happened.

I flew southwest here from New Orleans and I actually was like I looked up on the plane of the celebrities flying southwest, like I don't know what.

Maybe it's a pathetic that I did that, but that there was a whole.

Uh, I'm just looking at the We're good.

Then as a whole, Like there's several links and like why do celebrities love the southwestling with Brad Pitt? Like whatta yes, Brad Pitt's not like a regular on the Southwest? Yeah, you just have I wonder if like a guy like that takes it just because he knows it'll get some sort of publicity.

But I mean that that's cynical.

This is nice around here? Where's this? Yeah? This is beautiful?

This?

Uh you there's better people than me that remember words. This is uh mid Highland Park.

Maybe I don't know, man.

Must be that central something like behind that gate.

That's got to be a person, you know what.

I think that people I'll never know why these people can afford these houses. That guy might be a lawyer, business owners. There is and and and then you find out where celebrity, famous actor people live and they aren't as nice as these places like that, I don't know, and that, and they have modest cars in front of them sometimes. Yeah, but that would be such a great Yeah, it's a big ass brick house.

It's beautiful.

I mean, that's like a big house. But probably if you went inside to be like, holy shit, this is a huge house. Yeah, but it's not like a man that would be a bit.

No. No, that's just a rich person's house.

It's a rich, big fucking house.

Look at this fucking house. I like this one.

They're they're lights ays on, so I like to glance and see what they're doing inside.

It's the kind of seventies boy. You know who has a nice house? Is all Madrigal? Really? Yeah, he had a party and I was like, what the hell?

Why do you have this beautiful seventies Yeah, there's like a river that goes under it, and it's very modern time about that. Right when I went in there, I was like, oh wait, that's this is expensive.

You shouldn't have gotten this, you know, like what do I know he might?

You know, Jack McBrayer showed me a picture of.

His house in La No, I don't know him, but you know who he is, all right, should I Jack mcbray? Oh sure, sure, I thought you.

But he has a gorgeous house.

The guy like I don't know when you're out of tent.

Like he wouldn't even he wouldn't even joke about the house. Well, I mean he was joking.

Yes, yes, play a long. Yeah, I can't.

Just it's like this isn't as funny as it is hurting my feelings, this line of joke.

But yeah, people have.

Tig has a beautiful house. Now, God, I'm gonna be in trouble. I should have gotten to it. We should go to her wedding. Yeah, she's always gonna remember that I didn't go.

I mean, what kind of money we talk about with these gigs people?

Although we're talking about well there, I have a gig the same day as a wedding, and it's my friend's wedding, and I but I call.

Her my friend.

After revealing her day, she she I don't want to tell you who it is, but it might be someone I just mentioned.

It might be five seconds ago.

I told her I have a gig and it's kind of money, and she said, she said, oh.

My god, please don't worry about it. You got it, You got them.

Well, I know that, and I know how it is with weddings. You work hard to get there. You you buy a flight, you're in a car, you'd get yourself a hotel.

And I'd have to do all three of those things to.

Go to Sometimes it is like saying.

I would you like to spend eighteen Yeah, and I unfortunately I have a lifestyle where it can't.

It's hard for me to do that.

But I, uh, oh, take and I are much closer than you. Probably we lived together seven years. We were almost recognized by the state. Plus we had a cat together.

I don't know. I tell yeah, yeah, we were, we were.

I call her my ex, but uh, I uh.

She knows that there's a chance that.

This happens at weddings where you go there and see and then you don't even talk.

To your friend that's getting married.

Overwhelmed.

Yeah, you talk, you talk to him. I thought you just started yelling that you were yawning. They're overwhelmed. I got it at yeah, so but I do. Yeah, deep down, I'm like, I'm making a mistake.

What can you do?

I can, I can cancel the main.

A lot of money.

No, No, it's also shows that. I mean, it's my it makes this month happen for me. Yeah, what's your decision to Yeah, I know I feel you're judging me.

You think I don't anyway?

I mean like, yeah, it's I would have my price and everyone would have their price.

Oh you get excited to go there and then it sucks hamburgers?

Yeah, I don't know.

Oster is also come on, oh I get it.

You're you want to go right? Okay, cool?

What is the what does oster me?

Well, that's the funny thing, is you. Yeah, and it's Hamburgers. No, actually hamburg It should be because it's called a ham burger.

Has anyone ever explained that to us?

Oh my god, that sounds like something that's probably been covered.

But was it solved? Was there a reason ever? Given? Just coincidence? You think?

I don't know. I just thought.

I think I'm sure at some point in my life I thought about that, But then you grew up.

And then I realized that I don't want to think about.

Well, I think that that place being called the oyster, and need I remind.

You you asked about this?

I did place.

The okster is paying it's calling back to ham Burger.

Okay, that's a that's a couple of you have to go a couple of steps.

It really does doesn't have a payoff.

So there showing. What are you gonna do?

I don't know? What do you?

Uh?

What is your show?

Oh?

Oh, I thought you had a show. Oh, in a couple of nights, you have a show. Right, Well, I'm gonna uh take care of a cat for a little bit.

Do you ever stay it on weekends?

Yeah? I have been. I didn't do anything last night or the night before. You just stayed home.

Well, I live by the beach and it's hard. I also haven't been very social lately.

I'm not well.

I look, I wasn't invited anything. I didn't have eight shows. I stayed at home. I didn't feel good about it. I felt like a loser, so you were. I was bored and lonely. I wished I had a cat this weekend.

O scritch, you're gonna name it scritch scritch?

Remember that from Peanuts where the scritched? Oh?

Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do know, and then they do that repetitive dance.

Oh so you are we driving towards the restaurant.

Then we are driving to where you're staying.

And it's almost walkable these places, but we'll drop off your bags and then we'll go eat.

At least.

Straight there, because then it's gonna be awkward. It's gonna be like, oh, I got you, but my host be there.

I don't want to be like, hey, here's my bag.

Yeah, yeah, you're right, I'm starving. I don't have time to talk or say thank you. Yeah, okay, good point.

Oh don't worry, no one does. That's a that's a Conan O'Brien joke that he tells every episode.

Don't worry. No one's watching this. I double over. People are watching it. It's doing what should be my goals.

It's not at midnight anymore that they aren't gonna have me. So I will do, Conan, I will do Uh how about that Letterman guy? I know, why didn't I do Letterman? I could have done that mind Tanna route. It's like Montana people.

Uh, why haven't you do it?

I don't know. I've tried to figure it out.

I think that that show very much is relationships with management managers, and here.

They do so many of them will be just easy.

There has been nine hundred that is that. It's not like I.

Would be worried about booking you on that show. It's not like.

It's not even that they're having like actors and writers on. I think it's just like it's a way to promote something. All the threesome on there. That's like, this is the actor and two writers from this show. I've noticed they haven't had a lot of stand ups on it. Yeah, and then they ran out of them except for me.

I feel like it is. Yeah, it's too shady and obvious.

It's called gold Diggers.

Yeah, is it rich men that get naked and women go there and.

Watch wooded staring at old guys that.

The name suggests that gold diggers. Oh, I guess.

Oh, you go in there and get don't that's a horrible name for a strip club, though, these are there a bunch of gold diggers. You throw your money at them and they get naked. You want some blow just old Hollywood guys with gold rings?

What ut?

Oh god, we're gonna see Edward James almost you know, I just saw at the airport. Oh really, stell the mustache?

Yeah, very I was he someone what are you doing?

It?

Was he someone that I didn't like.

That's okay.

I remember remember you got his nose broken and I was.

Okay with that. That became a sensationalist. But he also, like way back, I think did some good work, like he exposing a mental institution that was at cheating editions. Oh that's with broke him. Then he sort of got a little tabloid.

He remember how he was acting like wouldn't he like just jump into the gun fire during the Gulf War and stuff?

Yeah, I think he was doing stuff like that specifically, and he's willing. He was like picking fights with Nazis on his show. I'll go right now.

Now he goes to the airport by himself.

Wow, oh man, I wish I could have, even though I would have made that left her. Really I I the reason I didn't go is I thought.

Maybe you wouldn't you even you wouldn't have Yeah, yeah, well you're on the right side. Any cross traffic would have murdered you. It saved your life. Just now, oh there you're honking. Really he just wants me.

To at least try. Uh look at this guy, you.

Want to turn around Vin Diesel Todd Berry Vin Diesel around.

I don't know.

It looks just like him, and he looks intense. Uh court, No, oh no, that's a beam. That's a that's an accura. He's coming up on your right. Let's make sure this isn't Vin Diesel. It really does look like him. That would be it's.

Because we were talking about but oh.

Man, I don't think he's too short and squishy.

It's that was Vincent. That was Vincent de Sell. He's an accountant.

Oh but yeah, he was to use direction where I think we got.

I think this the plan was, uh Western into Los Felis Boulevard. Yeah, take that, We'll take that directly to this restaurant.

I know. We will close out the podcast right when we pull in. I already have two calzones waiting for us.

Is it Italian?

But no, I just that's my one of my go to food things zones.

What I says like, I probably had one in my whole life. It seems like the best thing in the world, but I'd never.

Go on to get there.

No, it's cheese end full up.

Yeah.

Mailing a herd condition straight door. Yeah I haven't.

I've probably had a handful of them.

Also, well one calzone is a handful, but uh I yeah, they're like the worst thing you can agree to put in your body.

See how do I make this pizza? Little Orleans there is a Chicken figure restaurants.

I was like, yeah, I gotta go to the chicken in your best.

How was new? Had you been there?

Was?

Is there like music? Jazz music? And is the audience conservative? I would go at.

All, Okay, they were just regular a nice people.

Yeah that sounds great. Is there a.

Comedy festival so it's already hell, yes, fest, go ahead and plug them for you.

Are you cold or warm of.

The coggestive for some reason? Oh it's not your car.

I I didn't have. When I lived in Austin, everyone had something called seed or fever that it's allergies. But it was so you'd look out into the air there and it's just like a Clarton commercial. There's just like cotton balls and pieces of flower flying, and so it was obvious all these people were having allergies. I never had allergies until I moved to Los Angeles and lived by the beach.

You would think that's the cleanest air. I think I'm literally allergic to the ocean air happiness. I think that or wailed dander I get Maybe that's it. I don't know. I think as you get older, you just get allergies. I don't know. Maybe it's boring. I just got my brakes to be done. Can you hear that? Oh that person's upset person? I am actually laughing pretty hard. Well, that was a cartoon character, you know. That wasn't just like a That person was cartoonish and cartoons make me laugh.

I asked for two nights of hotels that will be up the night before.

That's great. Yeah. One day I'm gonna make demands.

A way. So much you do, it's too much.

What would you rather be doing? What would be your plan be if you weren't doing stand up? I have one? I think would you have illustrations?

Yeah?

What would you do? Do you think, Pana pan you'd be good at it. You'd know how to civil rights attorney? Pane the that's sou chef.

I think if chefs seems like a I think that's a super stressed job.

Yeah, well, not as much as civil rights attorney. I think there'd be a lot of like a lot of gun wretch, gun count wretching what issues and and then you'd lose a case and a I don't know what a civil rights attorney does.

I'll go ahead and say that right now.

Yeah, I I assume they stand up for the rights of uh people that work in civics cause civil engineers we don't.

Have to talk about. No, that sends that where. Yeah, we're doing it. I know exactly where I'm going. Cool. Isn't that great? Yea? I? Well, I thank you for recording with me too. I don't know.

We might use it.

No, I'll use it. I just might go in and trace it up. Trim it?

Do you trim it?

I I've been meaning to because I think it makes for better and we've done it long enough one to where I could.

Cut out some walls.

Yeah, like right now, I'll probably cut this out. About how you cut stuff out?

Well, I didn't.

Oh man, that's that's the reason I cut it out.

I'm uh, I'm just learning.

We had a girl helping us for a while and she was helped, but we couldn't pay her, and then she started getting busy. So I'm like, oh, I'll do it, and man, I've made nothing but mistakes recording.

You paid her for We sorry, we didn't. We didn't pair her. We aren't. No one's paying.

We did do a couple sponsor commercials.

Yeah.

The sheets are well, yeah, they're nice. They're really nice sheets. Well, you can go to parachute dot com for twenty five dollars off.

And use the.

Uh the promotional code ride. It brings you right to a page with our podcast. That's pretty cool. Yeah, how'd you look at them? It's through Alan Bill Birds. Yeah, all things are they There's a couple of guys. Yeah, that's there.

It's their.

Partnership, and you know they got a couple guys more actively running it. But yeah, it's their podcast network and they've been getting like bulk like a someone will sponsor a few of them and then I guess they just write a check and they divvy it up.

I haven't made a money yet, but I'm good sneeze because we're allergic. I'm near the ocean. What's that?

Oh?

Man, well that.

Was one of those sneezes where it was just yeah, yeah, no, I went right on my hand and look totally dry.

Look at it.

Yeah, I will, oh, thank you. Well, I don't know why, because it was in a plastic envelope. I thought these would be little baby wipes.

I got this too.

I got everything.

I noticed because I use baby wipes as an adult, and I'm not gonna go into the detail of why.

But you know what, they're all they all say, do not flush?

What the hell am I really?

Okay? Good, I've been flushing. I'm willing knowing I did read.

An article or artho. I can't say I read it. Those wipes are used for clogging. Are screwing up here?

Okay, I won't.

But that's the same time. This is a gross conversation. I'm hungry.

Is this good food here? It's gonna be great food.

I think we're gonna like any every minute, any minute of it, any singular minute of eating.

We're gonna love that one moment. See look at that house. What does that person do in balm? Bodies? Who do even me? Look, there's like a cat. What do you call that? A round part castle park? Oh, it's a beautiful house.

It's probably apartments. I could probably live there for just twenty eight thousand.

Month or eight hundred.

That's a b I really like that place. I wanna live there. I'm pulling over. I'm glad I don't have an apartment.

Like that though.

I like.

I like being on the ground, although you know, tsunamis can happen at any moment.

I'm on ground floor. Yeah, it's a it's an apartment. But I got a garage. I have a little work workshop. See this measure stuff te measure. Yeah, I'm a man. I'm a man.

That's gonna be great.

I'm too hungry to even do.

You want to just wrap this up? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, you're playing with your phone. Let's do a huge ending you've been listening to. Do you need a ride? My guest has been Todd Barry Todd. Thanks for being on you got it.

Thanks.

You can see Todd in a couple of days at uh in l A at the don't you at the Echo crowd work show.

It's a crowd work showing to Oakland, Sacramento, Reno Beautiful.

Todd berry dot com is where you can go to see all those dates. Oakland Sacktown, the Bay Area, and back down. Huh, well, you've been listening to Do you need a ride?

I'm gonna honk D Y N A R.

Why do you That's because that's how I get nervous.

And yeah, that guy's angry. Mhm