Ep. 66 - Cathy Ladman

I leave, then I you wanna way back home?

Either way we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a turman al ingay.

We want to send.

You off inside. You wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about.

Ity scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need ride.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

This is Karen Kilgarriff.

We're in beautiful bang Burbank, the denim clad home of mister j Letto and Karen kil.

Garrett and Karen kil Garret football people.

Wears a lot of denim, but only on her legs.

Only the one pair.

The only one, not the the other pair being a shirt. I don't know why it's called a pair of shirts.

What if I saw Jay Leno and he was wearing a shirt made of my boot cut jeans.

God, I'm so glad you didn't say.

Skin and you're the one that saw him, and then you had to avenge my murder because it's like a shirt. But then my face is on the back, and you're like, is that it is that an like a stitched thing of Karen's face.

No, it's her actual face.

When I first see it, I'm like, that skin looks familiar. And then he turns around in your face it's just part of the shirt, and I'm like, I knew it was exactly Karen's skin. White, damn right, avenge him. I might avenge him if he's not wearing I might avenge your just you as a person, whether or not he's wearing your skin. Just when I see him, I'll punch him for you.

On my behest. Yeah, thank you, that'd be perfect for me.

On your behest. I'll kick his beach yest. Good start.

No, this is one of the strongers.

It is one of the strongers. What do we have to talk about last week? I've got a lot of Twitter, not complaints, just notification, just heat and buzz, Yes, heat and buzz and accolades. But also some comments that maybe the volume was a bit low. And I think I've figured out the problem. It was an uploading problem. I had a setting was off. I think I've I'll also figure out this stitcher thing that people are listening at

Oh is that right?

Yeah? Yeah, I was going to go into it subtly and conversationally, but why being around the But.

No, I not announced the hell out of it.

Downcast is a podcast player app that lets you easily find, listen, and subscribe to all your favorite podcasts on one place. Which it's cool because it you know, you can search by genre or a keyword like our names and it just comes up instantly. Or if you type in do you the first thing that comes up is a podcast called do you like Prince Movies? Which isn't us.

The Great actor Prince.

Or Young Ruler Young Sons of Kings?

Oh yeah, Terry's in that one movie?

Yes, yes, podcasts about Prince Harry?

Is he in love? Actually? Is it? Is it a podcast that's about love?

Actually? Oh? I'd actually listen to that.

Actually, I'd love that.

I would listen to anything. Notting Hill a whole series, twelve episodes. I listen. I have seen if like if you if we that thing we just went on with you Grant if you didn't like that, with downcast, you can skip ahead with it.

Don't skip through that awesome riff.

Are you impatient? Are you in impatient? Assholeskip ahead a few minutes or seconds. You're able to do that with downcast. Distracted. Did you miss something your work, your boss comes in, where's the the finance report? Whatever? Get back listen to something you missed. It's just like having it on a It's harder with the other ones because you have to slide the thing that's right and you don't know where you're at, like uh with soundclad with SoundCloud and you know, I guess that's there.

Anything else?

Oh, I'm glad you asked. It sinks podcasts across all your devices, supports audio video and enhance this podcast. That's a text from Henry Phillips. It allows you to stream or download episodes your choice. All you have to do is go to downcast, dot fm, down cast just downcast one word dot fm, slash ride forward, slash ride and then and get the downcast.

Nice. That sounds good. I could use all of those things.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just an easier another way to listen. So maybe that can replace things for all you stitch your people out there. Downcast sounds better, So there you go.

I just think that we need our lives to be easier because everything is so.

Hard all the time.

As we become a more popular vehicle broadcast, I think that all will be all will be doing is telling people about things that make your lives easier. Yeah, from betting to apps to help with podcasts, to who knows dish soap? Who knows what's next?

What about Gambler's Anonymous? We can start doing commercials.

For that, just bettering your lives. Are you in a rut emotionally? Maybe we'll get sponsored by some kind of therapist.

How about download Doctor Phil's new app and emotion show con How.

About the app that helps you end bits actually say jokes.

Oh I wish I had that app?

Yeah, I need it. I really made it.

Just log onto it in the middle of a comedy concert.

And it's just like Jake and the Fat ma'am.

That's all you have to do.

That's all you gotta do is yelling at.

And end it with referencing something all family guy style, and download the app. I haven't experienced dot dot dot since that weekend with Gary Coleman.

Seen on a TV and then shared.

Yeah, and then that plays out, and that's how you end a joke on that horrible show. Family Guy. Sorry, sorry, family Guy. Colon. We're no Simpsons.

Family Guy Colon. We're a Colon.

Family Guy. Colon is where ship comes from, just like us. Wow, look at that guy's a time traveling grand that's kind of red. Yeah, it is kind of lives there. That's why it looks so cool because I thought maybe it was a flux capacitor in the truck, but it was a selection of his dried socks.

And Christopher Lloyd's body.

Just make me a jacket out your face, Jim from Taxi's face. He's gonna be on the back of my coat. This.

We might need to start a line of coats with people's face.

On the back. That would be where it's just a silicone mask of their face.

Yeah, but it's kind of sewn in a way that looks like it's their face skin.

The right eye jacket, thank you, thank you.

Oh my goodness, you're the dumbest.

Wow.

That was weird because he was looking right at it.

Yeah, that was just an asshole move. He seemed like a.

He was just going to kind of go on it in front of us.

He was just like a bitter case. He just did a set at Flappers. He was falling out of the Flappers alley. It's like twenty five years of this ship.

He's like, I reference taking the fat Man and nothing happened.

Okay, oh my whole mister Burns giving Smithers a blowjob, got nothing that used to get standing ovation. I'm gonna move back to Canada.

Oh wait, here's Kathy Ladman. You were picking up.

That is her?

Yep, look at her?

Hi there, yay, yay.

Is everything clear?

And I think so, ladies and gentlemen, it's the legendary comedian Kathy Ladman getting into the car.

To get right now. She is about to get in.

Hi.

Hi there, Kathy, right off the bats. Hi, It's good to see you again.

It's so hot years ago.

Yeah, we.

Would you please?

There? It is I to point directly at it.

Kathy? Do you have dogs? Is that how you immediately knew what the what the sheet was about?

Well, I have one shiitter, but I never bought I have a leather seat.

I didn't.

Twelve year old cook.

We knew you were in the know because a lot of people get in see the sheet and think that they're going to be murdered.

Right, exactly, you've laid out a sheet. Silly, you need plastic right by the way, I'm wearing my podcast makeup. Oh, let's see, it's just a kidding, you know. You know what I was thinking about that expression, I have to put my face on. I mean, I know it's a very old expression, but isn't that the most hideous expression.

We were just talking about faces being affixed to the back of jackets.

That's very weird.

You're talking what do you mean faces being a fixed to the back of Yeah, good question.

Well, we were talking about made no sense, and you came in and brought logic and realism to the wh We were talking.

About, what if you ran into Jay Leno and he's wearing a jacket it was and basically it was what if he had a jacket that had my face on the back of it.

Your face, my actual and then we were joking and everything jackets it is.

You wouldn't like that.

That whole conversation made no sense until you got that.

But I just have it. You know, I don't know if you want to get into this, but Carly Fiorina's face. Oh my god, I don't know who this is. Carly Fiorina.

She's running for president on the Republican.

Of course, I just watched her doing the Oh.

There's your coffee cafe.

Oh, thank you and so nice. I'm like Einstein to go into my lab right now.

I knew nothing about her.

You guys, I have to lay down my mic Oh yeah, she's got to make her coffee.

Basically, I'll recap because you were on the road with Todd Berry.

The Republican debate.

Happened before the show.

Oh she's the woman in the blue jack.

Sure, sure, standing in front of an abandoned Air Force one era.

Okay, okay, we're just gonna roll very gently, any see.

Okay, the first without any sugar?

What's that going to be?

Like?

What I wish I liked? You know, if I had the depression, I would have had to live without sugar.

They can go without.

You'll have no sugar and you'll like it. That era this Christmas, I remember having sugarless rubarb pie.

I was so.

Lucky to have eight full slices of that. And if there wasn't Rubard Rubart pie, it was a salted celery pie. No, are you no? Just that's what rubarb is to me, is a salty celery.

That's it sounds like you knew a recipe from the Depression of like we'd get by by eating salted celery pie.

Yeah, it's okay, it's okay.

She brought her own whipped cream.

There's a mic on top, so we're picking up.

She's steaming it Taliano style.

It's getting very Michael Winslowian in the back.

Just so you know, Kathy, they ran out of whole milk.

That's two okay, okay, I just said, give me the closest you have that's okay.

Is in coffee skim milk. The taste like that is whole milk.

For okay, no one ever, because I thought it just jumped from one hundred percent.

That's a stick of butter that would be oh yeah, that's like bulletproof coffee.

I've ever had that.

When I was a kid in the Depression era, when we had a bowl of cereal, oftentimes my mother would put melted butter in there when we didn't have milk.

It's very rich, but we were lucky to have We were lucky to have the gall gave.

Us good for having been through the depression.

Lotion mostly and butter.

I used trade of Joe's lotion on my face. That's that's how I say.

I don't buy it, I just do it there in the aisle. Just hang up.

It was much cheaper.

We uh, speaking of depression era, we met on Venice Beach. We did a show at a retirement home. Yeah, and oh my god, it was oddly fun. It was.

It was fun.

It was scary, but it was right. I just remember, hey, all you beach betties.

That's right. I can't even remember if I enjoyed.

They were right on the beach. Yeah, I just I knew I wasn't. My jokes weren't going to hit home with them, So I just wanted to remind them of an old lover from the fifties. I remember sarcastic Nerd Burflar.

We used to he was a good man.

But that I don't know whatever happened.

You know, this is so I'm sorry, No, it's okay. This is a very extensive podcast. Yeah, you know, and you know, if it was in the seventies it would have been easier. But now that you mean with gas prices, gas prices, what with what they are except anywhere else? Really, this is it? This is kind of whoa This is the luck was a lid on.

That my dad said he had. Maybe he didn't, but his friend had a record player in his gt O in the sixties.

I've seen those.

Are you seriously and you put vinyl down? Somehow it didn't skip?

I think they were I didn't forty five players. I don't think it was a full record.

Oh yeah, okay.

And it was this weird thing that like pulled out like a drawer down here.

You can find it online, pictures of it. It's hilarious.

I just saw a friend of mine posted on Facebook that they now have laser players that you can use for your LPs.

Oh wow, like laser disc.

No, a laser will I don't know the technology, but a laser will play. You put it, you slide it in. It's a turntable, but you slide it in and maybe it doesn't turn. I don't even know, but it's it's laser. It's a laser, not a needle to.

Play your old records. Though. Yes, wow, I.

Know, I mean, oh, that's so cool.

Yeah.

Also, I bet it sounds good because everybody's going back to vinyl now, well.

Who is me? And really something has to happen because CDs now are just drink coasters when it comes to trying to sell them. I just hand out my CDs at the end of the show. I'm not a great say in any way. I used to hand them out even when CDs we're.

All the really, but yeah, now I don't even like the When I had my album made, it was either m P three's or.

It was vinyl. There a special Thing.

Records doesn't even put out CDs because nobody buys them.

Anymore because everybody downloads stuff.

Downloads, or people are going back to vinyl because the sound is so good.

Yeah, it's for real, So I'm the physical copy is a is a Vinyl, But what most people are going to rely on is what comes along with that is a MP.

Three because you usually get both.

But then that's what I'll do.

Really, nobody A Special Thing is not putting out.

CDs anymore because they just don't sell them.

Isn't that interesting?

And cassettes are coming back?

Really?

Yes?

Oh they say that might be a very hipstery thing though.

Yeah, that's not even a good idea. But I can bring back all that material I had about rewinding them with a pencil.

Oh, I used to have How many minutes is that it up?

I know, I know it sounds fifteen minutes sounds long for a closer.

No, three hours?

Is that what you're doing tonight, Kathy at the Old Flappers Bird.

With five minutes? You know why because it's their birthday weekend, so they're having a bunch of people come in. Everybody, the whole audience can get in for free over the weekend, which scares me. I have to tell you, Yeah, it really does. There's a lot of riff raft going to come through that door.

That's right.

Oh no, oh god, once again the lid did it come on with? No, it didn't, but it did leak through odd ship that's okay. I'm so sorry to look at this car.

Did that land on the sheets?

Were there?

I can't have the name, and I'm kind of like, I'm kind of like ud get blotting it. No, it did not get on me, but I'm blotting it.

Please don't worry about that dirty dog sheet.

Oh but I don't think that might have gotten into the upholstery.

Then, yes, the upholstery is filled with dog.

And I have to hold onto this cup like and there's also a place right here if you need to put it down.

That's true, So please don't worry. But let's let's really focus on your comedy. That's what we're all right.

I don't know however you want to run your show. I'll just I'm your guest. I'll be here for you. I'm at your service.

I want what is your When you have to do five minutes?

Do you just do joke Joe joke and get the age out of them?

Well, you know, because this one new bit that I'm working on that I actually did the other night when I was working with you, and I think I have a I think I have the button for it. So I'm going to do that tonight.

Can you hear it?

It's the one about like when I say, would be awkward if I just started crying right now? And then it's a brand new piece. And you know, I remember when I thought. I thought of it when I was walking on the beach in Carl's bed. I was working down there, and I just thought, because I really wear my heart on my sleeve, I'm like one of those people I I you know, I let my feelings out there, perhaps to my disservice, but that's the way I choose to live.

It's a good it's good to live open heartedly.

I think so. I think so. But a lot of it scares a lot of people. And so the basic premise of the bit is that you know, the only appropriate answer in our society to the question how are you?

As you say, so well that I love it when a joke has that moment in it where you it has built in presence and riffing like you Like you said, you can change it every time according to something that happened that.

Day and then helps it right and it also helps helps it stay fresh for you.

Yeah. Yeah, I try. That's always been a goal of mine. But then sometimes I'll have a boring day and so it makes that joke flop because I used a bad example.

Whatever. It can't always be there, No, it really can't. But then also I want to do that, and then I'll just I'm getting a little tired of my opening. You know, I've had the same opening for so long that I do.

Isn't that the hardest thing to replace?

Yeah?

Your opening hardest thing. And I remember when I started doing late night TV spots. You know, you have to come up with so many openings, so many openings, right, and that is very hard, and they're not you know, not everyone is going to be as great as the other. But it's I think it's the most important thing because you know, it's like you're it's like, you know, I I really generally hate saying how are you? You know, I hate saying tip or has everyone doing?

Yeah?

I like I used to live when Margaret Smith used to say, I was it was backstage. It all sounded really good, and that's what sets you and me apart.

I've always I've always had trouble with that. And then I'm like, well, of course it'll take people five minutes to like me because I don't have I don't say how's everyone doing? But when I did Conan, that JP guy said, I know this is in your style, but go out there and say, hey, how's everyone doing. That's what they're used to hearing. And if you really don't like how that goes, we can cut it out.

Well, but it can sort of sometimes with an audience like that, it gives them time to sort of focus. It's not it's not it's like, oh good, he's gonna start now. Because you just said that, you know, they might lose the first joke maybe well.

And also they might think if you went right into talking, like right into saying your joke, that looks nervous.

I would think that a person like that was nervous because it's like you're not even acknowledging where you are.

You have you have to kind of well for TV anyway, I mean, I.

Always say hi, I always say hello to them. I always say hello to them individually, So that would be really great because then I could eat up like a lot of time.

So great chance, like Ellen a.

Little bit, you could do that in the bit, like you could be explaining how you everyone has to say fight and then start asking people, well they are in the audience.

Yes, that's such a great idea because then they nobody's going to book me, of course, but it's a great idea in.

Croud works a conversation.

Yeah, it was like, well, Jimmy Brogan when he did late night shows, he couldn't do crowd work. He couldn't do on the Tonight Show. He couldn't do like his usual stuff. He had to do jokes, right, So yeah, I mean you have to. It's a certain point on on TV. It's like a whole different animal. That's why it was like always when I was when I would run my set, run my set around town, whenever it bombed, it was like always a good sign. That's great, Well, that's great, it's bombing in the clubs.

Oh that makes sense.

Well, because you're not acknowledging the live audience. You're you're going you're going through your jokes, and because you want to remember what's next and what's next and what's next, and and because you're you're acting as if you're doing it on TV. But there are live people there. It's different, you know, do you know what I'm saying. Either the studio studio audience is live, they don't expect you to interact with them. The audience does.

I think they'd be uncomfortable if you did. Like now, you're supposed to be doing your thing.

Right, right, And that's that's what I always wanted to do, was stand up. When I first watched comics and like a lot of people didn't realize that they were saying scripted material like first st comedy. And I was young, but yes, I saw, oh that guy every time he just comes up and thinks of funny things nice. It's so disappointing when you see that first comic. Do they're set.

Again and then again, right, and then again, and then you start to respect that as a craft.

Yes, you know, it took me a while, but right, Yeah, like you said, finding ways to keep it fresh to you is right. The trick.

I mean, there are times when I'm when I'm doing like I'm on stage and I'm doing a bit and it's like, oh god, I want to get I want to get through this one. I have to No, No, I just know I should then, but I really like, like, I'm tired of doing this. I'm thinking, Oh, I'm tired of doing this, So I have to find like I have to like almost like infuge energy artificially so that I don't, you know, make them go to sleep. Oh God, there was something I was just gonna ask you, and

Yeah, who has that?

I don't know, I mean maybe I don't know. I don't know.

Has ladlining said just about catch up and other Tomato products?

I love that guy? Does he?

I mean, that's kind of different. Food groups are different.

Uh, you know, I haven't watched a lot of Jim gaff.

He sounds like I'm talking smack about him.

It does really a lot, you know, No, you're not. He's the best.

I'll stick it to the gaff Man.

He's so funny.

I have to watch him.

He's really enjoyable yet. Yeah.

Well, and also just that his it's so his voice.

It's like it really does seem like he's just talking to you right, like in line and Starbucks.

It's very it's so casual.

And also he's one of the people that when I watch him do stand up, it makes me crazy because I've had the.

Beginning of the thought.

Yeah, and he's the one that just goes tick and like makes it the funny thing, as opposed to just me going.

Like right, like you observed it and then he figured out where to take it.

I love that feeling of watching another comic and enjoying a joke but also being frustrated because you feel like your brain was just interest from having thought of it yourself. Yeah, you're, like, God, the most familiar. I think that guy just stole my.

I mean, I'm sure there's like there was so how could there not be overlapped between all these people doing stand up and over the decades. You know, I was just watching George Carlin because Kelly just is, you know, doing press with the book, and they're showing some clips and he was talking about how, you know, all the kids toys are so safe now, and he does this thing about when he was you know, when he was a kid that you know, the kid who swallowed a

So anyway, so let's hear who the steeler is.

No, he's not a steeler.

And it's the Gossip Show. So anyway, here's who I think steals.

Just kidding, I know you are who steals.

There's steal.

Well, we know, we know the big Steelers.

I mean it's some people will surprise. I think sometimes people accidentally steal I hear something, yeah, and then they thought it was in a dream and they wake.

Up for sure.

Well and also not just stand up, but like that's my I think that's why I avoid watching a lot of comedy because I know I'll do that.

I memory. I will memorize things.

That I love, and then it'll come back out and I'll be like, how did I think of that?

And I was like, yeah, because it's work.

But Robin Williams that was his problem, right, He had a hard time remembering what was memory and what was coming out of his own brain.

And if your yeah, if your style is to just grab thoughts from right floating in the air above your head, it's it's gonna be someone.

Else's thought at some point. But you know, I started doing this bit recently that knew, you know. For me, it was about arm and hammer baking soda, and and then my friend told me that j Johansson did it. I was like, oh shit, feel terrible. Oh but it probably wasn't.

That was just coincidence, right, Well.

No, he done, he done it. I mean he'd done it on Letterman, and I swear to you, I never, I never. I didn't didn't remember him doing it, but I just thought it was funny that And I don't know if he did the beginning part of it, but I mean it would start. But I would say, you know, being older is has its benefits because I have a you know, I have more wisdom now. And one of the things that I've learned in life is that the

Wasn't you had a couple of drinks.

Oh, yeah, it's the coffee. But then I followed it up by saying, and then they tell you to pour it down the drain. I mean they you're literally pouring it down the drain. What a scam. And that was the thing that Dylan Brody told me that Jake did. Oh that's you feel dirty, terrible feeling.

I feel silly for it, even me thinking it was an original thought. But I had a joke about tired talking about getting blood out of clothes, and I'm like, when did Tide start marketing towards murderers? And yeah, that's like a classic sein felt bad apparently.

Like blood if the if blood in your clothes, how does it go?

I think says getting blood in their clothes, and then he said murderers, whereas I basically said the exact same thing.

Maybe he says clean laundry is not your first by.

Right, I think that is. Yeah, he says evading the police should take presidents. You're cotton poly Who am I doing now? Show.

One of my favorite stories is when the first time Rosie o'donnald did stand up, she went up and did an entire set of Seinfeld's and she killed and then she got off stage and all the comics were like, you just did Seinfeld's material, and she thought that's what you were supposed to do.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah. She was like, yeah, that's the those are the funniest ones.

Like she had seen him on TV and was just decided, that's that's how you did comment for.

Time she did stand up was on TV.

Then no no, no, no, no no, I want him on TV, and thought all his stuff is good.

I'll do that. Yeah, but I'm just making fun of the fact that you would think, even back then, you would know better.

One would think so she was young. She was like, it's seventeen.

She was young and a kangle half.

Yeah, I mean when did the kangle had things start? I don't know when, Sam Jackson? Who started?

I think it was Sammy Jackson, Sam.

Old Sam Jackson, what a showman? Chris? Where do you live by the way? I think where you live close to me?

Yeah? Yeah, I mean Marina Delray. Oh cool, right on the right by the boats. You know.

Oh my god, you're lucky.

Well, I love sailing, do you know? I must. I'm scared of the ocean, but I swim in and I follow. Hold on, it's okay. This is the right where Karen feels.

Me up every time. I perfectly. Let me protect your penis.

It would have been the first thing to go through the windshield.

Chris is growing?

All right, everything's fine, all right, all right, let's clean it up.

Are you, Kathy?

Are you?

Do you enjoy doing stand up as much as you did? Oh? I don't know ten years ago.

Well let's go. You can go farther back than that. You've been doing it for thirty four years.

Leave it. That's amazing, It is amazing.

Three to four. So here's what I here's what I still love the craft I do. What I what I've had it with is babysitting the audience drunk stuff like that. I've kind of outgrown a lot of venues, I think, but I haven't grown into the next level of venue because I can't sell it out, you know. So it's it's a little frustrating. But that's why I like some of these rooms around the city that are not not clubs per se, but people who really enjoy good comedy go to these places, and that I love. I really

You know.

I used to be I used to be in a club every night and I loved it, and that was my social life too. But now, you know, I have a daughter, and I'm married, and and you know, it's just and I'm doing other things and I have to get up early in the morning for school, you know, to get my daughter to school. So my everything's everything's different. My hours are shifted, and I you know, I can't. I can't do that, and I don't want to do that either. I don't want to hang out in bars.

I'm just getting to the point where I don't want it to be my social life anymore. But I don't know how else to have it.

But I don't have a social life.

That's the thing that's really happens.

I mean, I because I mean I like hanging out with like minded people.

And yeah, you tried to hang out with non comedians, It's well, it's not easy.

I mean, anybody who's who's an artist of sorts is interesting to hang out.

Yeah, of course, yeah, I don't need.

I mean, there's some comics that I don't want to hang out with.

Let's get started that.

Book.

But yeah, I mean that's what That's one thing about the marketing of comedy. I think that is so unfair as opposed to other entertainment forms. When you go to see music, dance, anything like that, there are sub headings you got to see. You want to hear rock music, you want to hear jazz, just.

Go see like live music, just live music.

Crazy. Yeah, so I mean literally insane. But if you're going to see if you go into comedy, it's just kind of and you know, people don't understand the nuance and had a program a show and and not you know, not every comic is gonna like hanging out with every other comic. You know it's ridiculous.

I also find me like having just recently done a club after not doing one for a really long time. The age, I'm just so old, so much older than like the young I should say, the young people that that want to.

Do imagine how I feel.

But I mean, it's that like what I realized it was. I was so like, oh, I it's bad that I don't want to do this or whatever, and then I realized, like, well, this is this is a young man's and woman's game. It really is like when you're so obsessed with comedy and you want to be in that club even if you don't have a.

Set, it's a whole lifestyle.

And also it's but it's like you you don't you but hopefully your life broadens as you get older. Yeah, you know you want you don't want to be one of those man childs or woman child you know who you know hasn't evolved in life either. But you know I did it. I did a show a couple of weeks ago. I was telling you this, Karen, where everybody was like half my age in the audience and on stage, and I had a great time and it felt like such an accomplishment that that's it's not just a matter

Yeah, you know, and it so my plan for you, Kathy is that we're gonna do Thursday nights and or like we'll do like a Monday and a Thursday, and that's when you're gonna have to come into.

The Hollywood area and Duke shows.

I could handle two nights a week.

Okay, we're gonna get a schedule going.

Okay, oh look, Karen's like, Karen's like mentoring. I will manage.

Because when I saw you the other night, well, I mean, I.

Remember when we used to do sets at the Fake Gallery long ago. It was the best and there was so no stakes, like you could kind of do whatever, and it was so fun. But the these crowds need you like they need everyone is so similar in a lot of these rooms and at a lot of these shows. But it's so great when somebody comes in, it's kind of like, hi, everybody, now, now watch how comedy's done.

Similar in what way would you say they are?

Well, it's a lot of dudes that are like thirty two and wearing a plaid shirt with beard and black framed glasses.

I mean, if a lot of like, what are talking about the white guys? It's white.

It's a real white guy's game, and it's not you know, I don't feel alienated or like, it's not a complaint. It's just it's so great to have a mix and and to have more than just that one perspective. And they and a lot of producers at shows around town are really good about making sure that they do have a at least as much of a variety as they can.

But I think it's just a numbers thing where it's just like.

A lot of young dudes, right, So, like, especially you at the end of that show, it was just so great because it just felt like I just felt like I could see the real club behind you, even though we were in the weirdest gay bar. That was like, is that made of me? Yes, It's like it's like real comedy is happening.

But you know that maybe. So it still makes me nervous when people say you should close. Oh, it always makes me nervous. I have such low self esteem. Karen, Karen is paid you should close?

Really?

Why?

Well, if you're in town, it's just like you should go last. You should leave the place last.

Yes, it's almost an the other places.

Yeah, really, you should wait the longest you've paid your dues. You should sit through these others.

Oh oh that yeah, okay, right.

But yeah, when there's three people and you're getting paid, you should always go last.

Kathy, Well, I wasn't getting paid.

No, quite the opposite.

That's maybe what keeps well. When I first moved here and I had worked down the road with and we've talked about him before, Robert Hawkins, but he used to make me laugh.

Don't even know who he is.

He's exactly like he I don't know anybody, but I don't know where he is now. He's probably Texas living in a military town. I don't know, but he was. I think I had a writing job on that Titus show and then When the Road. But when when alternative comedy was a genre that I think that the phrase has finally gone away. But but yeah, yeah, I know, but those show like at UCB, I was like, you

And so he knows exactly how to kill in anything.

Yes, I don't know how to kill it anyone.

That's not true, because I was telling Chris the thing you did where you were like, why am I talking like this?

And then you got like You're like because this.

Because everybody was shouting, and I think I understood why the acoustics in the room. Oh oh, we just stalled.

Oh my god, that's a first for the show.

Yeah.

Yes, really, this always happens.

We made it like fifty five episodes before.

It's always me. It's always you know these so many times this will happen in life, something will ocur and people will say this has never happened before.

Yeah, I find people say that every time I go to a club on the road. This is usually last week it was packed here. Yes, there's the football game, and also a local preacher is speaking of.

Oh I can't compete with the preacher. I know.

Oh, you mean that audience is going to be here because they're all I haven't like Catholary.

You lost all the Baptists and most of the Presbyterians.

Oh my god, Okay, now you got Now did you hear the did you not? Did you not watch the debate?

Chris? I did. I wanted. I was about to get on stage, and so I was. Basically I was in my hometown. I was nervous, and I get nervous. I'm a nervous person. We're nervous right now.

I mean, you were you were? You were in Venice.

I was in Missoula, Montana.

You're from Missoula.

I am I love miss Have you ever done yes?

Here's here's an interesting story. When I was in nineteen eighty three or eighty four, I was living in New York and doing stand up you know, for two three years. And my boyfriend was Steve Middleman. Do you know Steve mid.

Yeah, he had the joke about folding she is exactly exactly, yeah, pillow cases.

Yeah, and so. And he had this fan who lived in Montana who owned these black Angus steakhouses. So he contacted Steve. I think Steve had a showtime special or something for sure. He contacted Steve and he said he wanted to uh bring him out in August and he would uh you know, play four different four different cities Billings, Sure, Bozeman, Missoula and Great Falls and so and and I and I lived with thee at the time, and Steve said, well, I'd like my girlfriend to come open. And he said, sure,

And he was doing a story about what's it like to do stand up in a state where it's like America a hundred years ago.

Well it was kind of well, it was just like, you know, traveling with two New York comedians in Montana. Just a very you know, very interesting juxtaposition. I remember, like I think it was in Billings. You know, we're doing we're doing you know, the steakhouses were not made for coming.

Yes, it was a Black Angust tour.

Yeah, just fourth Black Angas.

That's that's what makes the story.

It's a perfect story.

Wow.

So so in one in the first place, I believe it was the first place in Billings and my least favorite city.

And I was just there last last month.

But yes, so not it's good No not to say that, and I'll mean it. Yes so, but the way they had they set up a sort of a state a quasi stage in some room, and they got a spotlight, you know, one of those giant can was.

Sure like industrial garage, your dad changing the oil.

Yes, yeah, a big giant canister kind of a spotlight and they put it in a closet and they left the closet door open so that it would light us on stage. So I'm on stage and somebody wasn't aware of why the closet doors on. They just went on the cluss door and I was like in total darkness.

It was very funny.

It was very funny. We had a great time. Anyway, So you were nervous doing your well show in Missoula.

You said, Yeah, my dad and family and friends are there, and I think they've seen I was doing jokes that I've never done before because I've been there enough to have burned my material. Last time I was there, but I was just opening for Todd Berry. I wanted them to see Todd Berry, but I was worried about an audience that doesn't get to see stand up that much. Right, last time I brought him there, which is weird. I bring my own headliner was like six years ago. In

So anyway, yeah, they got Chad.

They were a great audience this time, so they loved great jokes. And when I just speaking for myself on a joke that wasn't that good, they were like, that was polite.

Left right, But you're you're really it sounds like you're harder on yourself than anybody could.

I hate myself.

I understand so much, but.

It's too late. I hate myself and I'm just I all spend it on other people once the right person comes along, but for now I'm just spending all the hate on my it's good.

I recommend getting married. It kind of grows exponentially.

You don't.

You didn't even know that you could kind of it could build upon it. It feeds on itself in a way. But but yeah, now I feel guilty that I said that.

Should re edit it out.

It's okay, but I'll never hear it's okay. But he doesn't listen to podcasts?

But is he a commentary?

Tom used to be Tom. I don't have time to listen to things. I really don't.

How do people have.

Time to listen to all this stuff and watch all this stuff?

I don't get it.

I'm too busy being outside swimming.

And reading books, going to the library.

Standing on the treadmill, wearing roller skates.

You know, I don't read enough books. I have eight I have eight books going. And then I read New Yorker articles and New York Times articles, and you know, and then I read stuff that's posted online. And then you know, I don't get through a fucking book. It's really annoying. It makes me feel stupid.

I do the same thing because I start the book as I'm in bed, and I'll go three pages.

Then well, I don't read books because books make me feel stupid. I think that's why the books are there, to make guys like me look dumb.

Every time I look at my bookcase, I see all the books I want to read, and then and then it like ramps up myself.

Loathan, it makes you feel like a failure to have a book.

Sounds like an excuse, and maybe it is. But I am auntsy and I can't sit and relax. And that goes for camping or being on next to a lake and a chair. I'm not real good at just sitting there and that's what reading a book requires. But I do enjoy reading. I enjoy ideas. I like reading aloud to my friends.

Okay, this is a good dating profile.

And I enjoy walking. And I'm scorpio.

Have you signed up for a blind dating service? You could read the blind girl?

Oh that's right, that's a great idea. Are you for the blind days?

Is that a thing?

I may have read the thing.

I know, but is also a thing at the same time.

Wow, we're folding in on ourselves. Yeah, this is like, but you know, I want I just wanted to say back to you being nervous in your hometown. It's like so interesting how we are often most nervous in front of the people who are supposed to and probably do love us unconditionally.

Right, I don't want to change what. I don't want to change their minds, these people that love me.

Right.

But but yeah, but there, but that shouldn't change them, right they wouldn't.

Yeah.

Still, but there's still a lot of I want to please. I just want to please.

It's weird that I just want to please strangers.

What I know, Well, that's that's a comics syndrome.

I don't know that.

It's a very sad thing.

I don't think it's well.

I think it's also impossible because I never think I do. Even if things go well, there's I always focus on like the one person.

That had the face of course, so it's.

Almost like having a fetish for a thing that I like an ah, I can't scratch exactly.

So gross.

When I could be having the most fun on stage, if there's one person with their arms crossed up front, I put all my focus on them. How can I turn this at the expense of the rest of the audience. How can I make this asshole happy? Yeah, you didn't even want to leave the house and He's like, oh, there's goddamn comedy club coupons.

But that's but some That's such a common thing amongst comedians because you know, we are I mean, the empty hole that it takes to get up in front of strangers and have them laugh, you know, you know, out of the context of their lives is quite a quite a thing.

It's insanity.

What a great That was a full That was a great conclusionary moment. It was episode round.

To do that. Yeah, why this was so much fun. I wish I'd rather just drive around with you. It was great.

That was really fun. You're good at this.

Oh it's my pleasure.

Yeah, thank you so much for.

Once again I have to apologize for the smelly coffee soaked sheet.

In the I'll send you the bill underneath that.

He's gonna be like two seventy five.

Oh my sheet isn't good.

N No, I'm saying two dollars for laundry. That's Oh you mean it could actually what if it stains and it doesn't come out?

I mean, what if I have to replace that?

Oh no, but you know, if your dog could just kind of scot his ass along that what the dog do you have?

I have a small one, like a little beagle mix, and then I have a big one that looks kind of like yellow, a yellow.

Laps nice dogs.

Also, Oh yeah, that's what you don't see them because you don't go on Facebook. That I had to leave Facebook.

Are we not friends on Facebook?

I'm gonna have to make you a close friend though, because then I'll see your stuff.

Yes, and then when maybe I can send you a close friend message and figure out how you do.

That, and I can you just go up, just go up to you go to my page, and then we a little show that we're friends, and then you click on that and so you'll give you it's his close friends and you click on that. Because when you have a lot of people that you or your quote unquote friends, and I've got it. I'm starting to within the herd. Boy, oh my god, that's gonna say. I just closed today. Uh what's your name? Elizabeth Warren? So it's something wonderful that's been going around about planned.

Did you see it?

Yeah, we're the one where she's just like you people are from the eighteen hundreds.

Well, I don't it was it was several things. I mean it was, it was it was edited and there were several sections. Oh it was a natural speech. Yeah, she was speaking. Yeah, and and so I posted it. I said, you know, please, you know you got to see this. She is so terrific and what she's saying is so important. And this one guy who's this idiot friend an old friend of a friend. He will not cut him loose. He gets on, he goes she's mentally ill.

Watch. Yeah, that was part of it. But yeah, it's that kind of you're here, and.

Yes, I don't want to know this about you, that this is your reaction to this thing that we are like that diametrically opposed.

I'm not saying that to you.

I'm like, that's that's my Facebook thing of like people that start to fight with you.

Right there, we ran out of card space. We were wrapping it up with Kathy, but I just want to explain why it abruptly ended. But that was Do You Need a Ride? With Chris Fairbanks and Karen Kilgareff and our guests Kathy Ladman. You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D y n A R.

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and they turn and on engage.

We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine now?

Porn?

Do you need a ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need a ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and chriss mm hmm