Ep. 6 - James Adomian

I leave in I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a turmanol and gay a. We want to send you off instat you want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it?

Re scared her? Was it fine?

Now? Porn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?

My name is Chris Fairbanks.

My name is Karen.

We are just crossing uh Alexandria and Hollywood.

In Hollywood, the most gorgeous part of Beautiful Night. The clouds are a dark mauve.

It's called this is the Little Philippines neighborhood, right, yeah, yeah, which explains.

What in the see Okay, it's things like that. You're a magician in so many ways. I was just about to say, we're gonna pick up James Adomian. I was looking up the address and he's already in the back.

Of the car. I'm quick confessed that was a amazing James.

I had to I had to announce little Armenia before we were no longer in it because now we're in tight town.

Well, because if you hadn't said it, we would have gotten so many emails.

I mean, people would have gone crazy.

People get upset when we aren't factual, and we rarely are.

Yeah, do you have an ombudsman for aggrieved readers or listeners?

Of course we do, of course, yes, get automatically later.

Can you tell me what an ombudsman is? Yes, okay, thank you, I didn't.

Ombudsman's just someone whose job it is for you to tattle to them.

Oh yeah, okay, like a mayor, Like yeah.

They're they're they're received complaints.

I guess do they have special outfits?

I hope so.

John doesn't that kind of conjure a picture of it?

It does? It sounds like you have a rose colored suit on.

Boler please and a sacred ivory cane. The almumbudsman's tap tap tap, it's.

The March of the olmsputsmon, we're going to take a turn on Western here.

We're going to Lax, right. I should have specified the airport.

Lax, my dear, Oh that's right, Los Angeles International Airport.

It's my favorite place to hop off the West coast on an aeroplane.

And what what network? I was going to say, are you flying? It's cool?

Oh god they are a nice airline and so informative.

Flying CN into Atlanta, Oh.

Atlanta, straight to the on air, Yes, to report about the missing Malaysian airliner.

It's still missing, still missing.

They haven't, I will think. I mean, I.

Guess the other day on a milk cart and I saw a picture of what the airplane is supposed to look like.

Now it was age progressed.

Yeah, yeah, it was just the engine had more birds in it and it had grown a bit of a goateee. Well you can't, you know, you go out on a lamb with I liked it, with a with an idea and a lot of times audibly you can.

Tell people are not on board. James, You're coming to Atlanta.

Oh I got god, damn it real humor. Well you know this is what we've been doing all day, and very well your I really, I really know.

Before anything, I want to commend your podcast just as a public service.

Thank you a lot.

I mean it may be a terrible podcast, I don't know, but as far as this is the this is the most convenient podcast I've ever been a part of it.

Right, it's it's we just wanted to do people a service. And then we thought there was like ten things in our mission statement. At the very bottom, it was the quality of a of a performance or like a TV or a show.

What are we doing? Yeah? But first and foremost, we just want to do a service for people.

Yeah, and that we're both in a so we have to.

They make you a at a time, drive.

People around and step by step we're gonna get you to Atlanta, even if it kills us.

And where are you playing it?

But no one's gonna I'm.

Playing at the improv Oh good, good improv recognizable.

It's like the Starbucks of comedy clubs.

Exactly. You know what you're gonna get.

At any of the improvs.

One in Arizona, they won't book you again. What happened, Well, let's not go into that.

Let's concentrate on the positives of my performance in many different improv establishments around the cup.

Did you did you rob them the wrong? You picked a fight?

Did you?

Hub hub hub hub?

Look, I may have been physically assaulted and I may have had to uh break out my deadly fighting skills.

Were you you weren't assaulted? Were you assaulted?

I just didn't go. I didn't like what the guy drink. They had to drink, and I let him know.

Oh that's right, eliminated my show.

That's why they call you the bad boy of comedy.

Would want me to pour your milk?

You pull out an Honard Palmer, he pulls out his fists. Damn, said Domian.

Arnold Palmer is the hardest drink to say.

It really, it really is, Arnold.

I ordered them a lot, so it makes you sound drunk.

Yeah.

That and rear vera mirror.

That was in some diner in uh.

I think it was in Manhattan and it was just like one of these old diners that's been there since they built Manhattan. And I was like, guy's like drink and I was like Arnold Palmer, He's like what he's offended the idea that they were like.

Shirley Temple to him was the only name to drink.

Oh, I had a Shirley Temple the other night at the Virgil I'm gonna run this yellow light.

Oh, let's do it, okay?

And uh, they made you know how the Virgils like fancy mixologists.

Techa bar Yeah.

And one of them is really hot suspender by our tenders.

Yes, there's lots of really hot ones. There's nothing more exciting to me like that.

Every time I've been there, all the dudes are like dump trucks, just the dumpiest, untucked shirts, disheveled, their eyebrows.

No way, Well, maybe I've gone on and off night.

You know that one bartender there who looks like Brad.

Pitt, Yes, there is one.

He looks like a he looks like a stronger, bigger, hotter Brad Pitt.

Yeah.

And then he looks like Brad Pits. Uh stunt. It's like a stunt double brother.

Wow.

And there's another one that looks like that boy that was named Milo that was on Heroes.

You know that actor. I shouldn't call him a boy. That's rude. He's not a boy.

Is he a young man?

I don't know. I'm unfamiliar with the medium of American television during the twentieth and twenty.

First season, they're incredibly intelligent. You do you love books?

No, intead, I just used that time to listen to Pink Floyd.

Let's talk about money.

King, don't HiT's A gas is money a gas to count.

That money buys gas. I think I know what they're talking about. Money is gas because it's the fuel you need to purchase things.

Yeah, I've been waiting for somebody to say, you know what, thanks again. I like the way you guys are coming from this, uh politically perspective. I'm gonna wait for a podcast to put it the way I feel about things. Money makes the word go round.

A lot of people aren't talking about it.

You're afraid to talk about it.

That green, So I could do my thing.

You know what, if it doesn't buy happiness, it certainly seems to rent it while you got money, right, Okay.

Yeah money cave by you loves talking, Paul McCartney, give it away.

I really just want to morning oh that.

That was our original plan with this.

It's to do morning drive time Morning Zoo with Accident Reports radio. And then we were like, what why would we be doing characters the whole time? People hate people hate character whek Okay, taking right on Beverly, you're doing a surface street thing.

I'm doing a you know, I'm the inventor of the ways app, and so I know exactly.

Oh yeah, I remember that time for a while you locked yourself in your garage to unveil.

I am able to.

I am able to hack into the ways app at any time and have you go where I want you to, or at.

Least take a different route there.

Guide you through Los Angeles.

That's one of my favorite stores for the last ten or fife.

Ethical Drugs, So Ethical Drugs at Beverly and Western.

I used to live right around here, and I love it.

It's like it's it's to make sure you know this is not just a store on the corner that sells heroin.

Is ethical drugs.

We're not your average drug dealer.

So many pharmacists are crooked these days, Yeah, but Ethical Drugs knows.

Yeah.

You go into uh write eight these days, you guy, it's like walking into the back.

Alley of Batman nineteen eighty nine at Times Square.

These tools I have to look for you.

It's really like any location back in nineteen eighty nine.

It's just like they all the time as classic.

A great well, it's bitten twiceh oh Man with a ballot of a same banna you.

Have like do you want sad? Do you want screaming?

Yeah?

Do you want?

You had ten choices unless you had an older sister who gave you a cure tape.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm not sure if this is any nine. But don't forget yes, yeah right, yeah, oh yeah yeah. I keep going Love an elevator, Oh.

Love it in me up and when I'm going down.

Getting the song. That's a song I refused to sing. Yeah, I refused to see.

You will suggests you cannot perform it.

I'm aware of it. Academic, I don't. I would never be.

I will recognize and sing it if you want to. But I will recognize those songs existence, but I will not perform it. But pain, pain, pain, Yeah, I don't know how to harmonize. I just matched both of you somehow.

Pull over, I've got it. I've got to turn around three times.

It spit over my shoulder to get that off you.

You have to take a bleached bath for loving an elevator.

What has your experience been in the past in Atlanta? If you have you been there before?

She drives me Chris, no, w s drop.

You have to get the lisp in there. The guy had a speech impediment.

She drives me to the airpole. No. All the podcasts.

Just power.

And thumble, help bottom.

Help, so fine and so young.

So wait.

I just watched as an adequa soccer.

Thank you, thank you very much.

I just watched the rerun of the Heidi Fly Story, call me the Heidi Fly Story, and they had they were trying to set the tone with like that era, but they didn't get the rights to.

Any of the music.

Everything was soundedlikes oh wow.

Which was hilarious.

And then at one point they show Heidi had a club for a little while, like right before she really got big, and they had clearly they wanted you to know that the fine young.

Cannibals played in the club, but they couldn't play she drive Me Crazy. So it was guys.

Dressed up like the fine Young Cannibals singing a song.

That sounded like three notes off of she Drives.

She takes me well off, go thank you, she following on the wheel and molsanna decent stay, I need some.

Lift the.

She's it's because of her driving that you become bipolar.

That's what the song is about.

Duplications of.

Oh Man, but they should have been they should have been mine.

Entire companies are keeping all that research down.

It's a conspiracy man's entire companies.

Yeah, they did that.

You know they did the they ripped the.

Street cars out of the streets in a yes, just like in Roger Rabbit.

Yeah, that's just I guess Mantle.

I think, Oh no, it's still it's it was on the COSP.

I think it was early December eighty eight, so it's it's it can be very exact.

Actually, yeah, yeah, upon the natural relief.

How sad that Bob Hoskins died at a very.

Young age, saving you know what, this isn't how I like to hear news like that for the first time.

You know, you didn't know that.

I didn't know that.

You gotta get on Twitter. That's how you find out everybody who.

Dies the second No, that's the thing. That's why I've been loving him lately.

It's because of its tweets. You're you're saying, they're not going to come anymore. Yeah, Hoskins, it's over. He had, Bob Hoskins.

If you get if you're a you're a crazy tune, right, let this be a listen to you. You could shorten the life of someone you love by endlessly harassing them.

Yeah, yeah, please don't do that, dude.

That's why tunes and live action humans don't mix. Not just is it we're driving a car that keeps bending, it'll.

It gives you some kind of virus.

Oh look over there, Oh my god, I think that is Uh is that Jesse Ventura over there on the sidewalk.

Oh, let's get him in the car. Hey, come on in here, buddy.

Where are we going to l a X.

Yeah, it's just told to meet the Parallax fan.

Is that the Parallax fan? Well, it'll market not just the description. Who are you? I'm a big fan of the teeth.

To me, I need to know the destination of this vehicle. At this precise moment, We're.

Going to Los Angeles Airport.

Do W double double dot l a X dot com forward slash deltop we are.

We are driving to the website of the airport.

Can you go with us for a little while or do you need to meet people?

Yeah?

Look, I'm not gonna tell you where I'm going. Okay. All I'm gonna tell you is you keep driving and I may jump out at any time.

Well I may.

I don't mean how I get around the city to avoid not only drones, but cameras on the sides of buildings, cameras in the.

Back of it. You can't even take a taxi there's a camera in it.

So if we made a taxi, it take my way around the city through civilians.

Yep. So you think we're constantly being monitored, then, Jesse.

I think you. Well, I think that we're constantly being monitored. Maybe I read the news.

Oh maybe I should.

If you read the news, I ever heard of a name Snood and get that information?

One?

Maybe I should.

I mean a podcast.

Oh, I am recording you. We are conscious. Well, we'll just be upfront about it. We're actually recording you now. But it's for the purposes of entertainment.

It's not for the government, yeah at all.

You used to be an entertainer, maybe.

But I am an entertainer.

I've done sports entertainment and I've done you know, I've done an entertainment conspiracy show.

Oh yeah, I saw that.

Oh yeah, I was not.

Interfered with my serious presidential run.

Are you going for it?

I don't know.

You haven't decided yet.

I haven't decided. Well, I'm mulling it. I'm mulling it. If you have any mulling spices. I'm mulling it clothes and cinnamon. I'm mulling it over.

I'm dicing up some apples right now.

I'd love to see you in the race in twenty sixteen when you.

First got in, Jesse, didn't you say you had to get out at Wiltshire and Highland?

I never said that information.

What are you putting in thew I'm sorry, You're gonna have to get out right here.

Get out. I will fool behind this.

I'm sorry. The predator, I'm so sorry. Oh my god, he's on the car.

What the he do?

He won't let go, Jesse, What is it? He's weird moment, he's trying to say something.

His hair is in the windshield.

Oh my god, he's huge.

He was he said something about James. I'm sorry. I sat that lunatic next to you there. Oh my god?

Is he talking about Oprah's nude chi drinkers?

I think that is.

He must be.

He must be because everyone else.

Is Make it quick, right, we'll shake him.

Yeah, whoa there we go. Okay, Well, oh.

My god, I hope he's okay.

I know he's yeah, yeah, you know.

I don't force it.

I don't wish ill on him, but yeah, being a marine isn't going to help you with a tumble like that.

Well he could have done all.

I hope he did.

I think, don't you have to do gymnastics in the Marines.

No, well, I think he's a nav se was he really?

Well, that's all Navy seals is mostly the first few stages.

Yeah, it's mostly.

Parallel bars and then they just hand you a gun and then and.

Then if you do give it the gun, ribbons.

Yeah.

Dance yeah, yeah, floor routine with ribbons. Oh god, that was that was exhilarating.

That's why I tookland.

Well, you know, I mean this is the Avenue of the Stars.

I know they have another Avenue of the Stars in Century City, but this was the original because there's so many stars.

So many great ones. What do you see something?

Well, yeah, I back there. I thought it was Andy Kindler, but I could. We didn't have time to let him in the car. Yeah, he's he's always welcome. He is always welcome. Should we turn around and get him?

Why the hell is he just walking on Highland?

I don't know, you.

Should probably get him. Okay, disoriented?

Well, but hate if for some reason he was Andy Kindler with a few personality twist, what kind of maybe even.

An audience suggestion unexpected?

I'm gonna go with this oriented more than he usually is.

I love the idea. I love the idea of someone mid improv game turned out into the city.

Like they've gotten their suggestion and they're no longer on stage.

And going, I'm a nurse, I'm a nurse.

There is let's get him. Do you mind just pulling over? Okay, okay, what.

Let me?

Hey, how Andy could sit on next to Yeah?

Hold, oh it's what what do you know? It's my favorite trio of people in the car. What's wrong is just comedians in the cars? And yeah, what what's try?

I can't.

Jack.

I'm just appreciate Andy that it's the first time you've remembered my.

Name is comedians.

Comedians the cars looking to restart their careers.

Or a or a second or third thing. That would have been funny to say.

Hey, Jerry side found, how do you don't have any cars that I know of besides Toyota?

Could you drive me around in my Toyota? Yep?

And that's what we've had enough.

What's what's wrong? I don't want to take me as far as Peco.

Sorry, sorry, we'll talk to you.

That's wrong. I'm not good for washing.

God.

God, he's so loud you could hear him even outside the car. The guy knows how.

I'm sorry again, James, I'm sorry that we keep letting people.

Well, I love the riding with you guys is just it's almost like it's just a cavalcade. I guess you don't know what's gonna You never know what's.

I just didn't want you to think at any point we weren't happy with you being our guest. I don't want just because we're letting people in the car while you are our guest.

Doesn't star.

You are the star.

Did you say you're hungry?

Did get in credits?

Do you need something?

Yeah? Like Coluter, I could just eat the airport. That just sounds like I could just get in line and he poison.

There is a taco bell right before the airport.

Are being recorded. This is a high stakes.

What do I want you put in your temple?

Stop at the pageon tell him to squirt some taco bell.

Put it in a cock.

Is there a sustainable Mendocino farms?

I need something organic that doesn't come out of a calcking gun.

Okay, so like I don't Okay, So travel travel a lot, and it's always like the travel day is always a nightmare. Yes, of course always because I'm not I have projects up until nothing stops, right, like days.

Working on this bullshit and then taxes, government bullshit, the man.

Uh and then it's like I gotta go. I'm always late. I barely get to a place.

And then it's like but then but then like like sometimes like driving the airport is the only time that I'm that I'm like, will stop and start thinking of things.

Yeah, because it's like on the plane a little.

Or do you buy I'm thinking about death the entire time.

Oh you're scared to fly?

You're not.

No, no, You're like b a Barracus. You're just supposed to have a glass of milk, because I recall from the eighteen you just have to have a glass of milk and then you wake up. You wake up at the destination.

Love that that works. That was.

Every single time they have to get in the plane, they gave mister t milk.

You want to try this? Uh chocolate, aba.

You know I don't like chocolate.

Tea.

You seem like the kind of guy that, oh he's out, He's not gonna throw anyone into dumpsters while we all shoot blanks at the enemy.

He used to throw people.

Did any enemies ever, any enemies ever like exploit him by like kidnapping him and take him on.

An airplane or something.

Oh, they should have. That would have been a very special to be continued A Team.

Also, I want to commend the A Team for being very honest about how all bad guys have ooz he's in it and are and are run by a bold guy in a soup without a jackets the tie flying in the winding people.

I mean every week, commend the A Team for just being a ragtag group of misfits.

They were tossed together at the last minute. They have emotional issues, they don't know he's get along, but they get the job done.

I think we need to start a new segment called Commend the Agent you name, name the thing you're grateful for about the.

They are military vigil eatees, right, yes.

But with this kind of lovely, kind of serial comic machine.

Yeah was it Dirt?

Who is the lead guy?

Oh? Yeah, Dirt. Benedict dirt, Benedict, Hannibal something Hannibal burs Yeah, which together the Lamb's clarie. Oh that's a different hands. That's a different hands. Oh God, there's so many Hannibals, so little time to remember the origin of each.

Do you want to go to Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits It's right there? Nope, not on the record.

Interesting Jack in the Boxes right there, Jack in the Box. What which version of sodium launched into your body?

Would you like?

Oh?

Do you want to go to sodium launch? It's right up there. Around there's a really.

Good cheese house. I hear they have a beef cheese.

It's behind Spalding Mortuary right over.

Oh, we'll stop you up and they'll bury you.

That's kind of an amazing triangle. Popey's Chicken and Biscuits, Jack in the Box and Spalding.

That's a great photograph. It's down here by the new Expo line station.

Hey man, Hey America, wake up, Jefferson and what Losiana?

It's right man?

Or this liberty is thought, by the way, the Expo line is awesome?

Is it really?

I took it once I was caught in uh ridiculous traffic I don't drive, but like they Doug Benson called me an uber and the uber didn't know how to get to the studio in Culver City because Culver City is designed by a fuck.

Culver City was designed, was designed by blind.

Horses dragging the greats down the dirt in any direction.

They felt like, yeah, so then we so then so then we called the Culver City cap. He knew where the studio was, but Culver City cab didn't know how to get anywhere outside of Culver City besides l a X, Oh my god, and so like he drove around.

It was a nightmare traffic. It was like the end of the like Ragnarok or something.

And uh I was, I was like, let me out, let me out, because I saw the Explanit station there and uh I got on there and I got to lose feel is from there and I'm not kidding.

Forty minutes. Wow, wow, it was. It was insane.

Wait, so what's that line?

Like?

What are the main stops?

The Expo line goes currently from downtown Union Station, No excuse me, the seventh Street Metro Center, uh down Exposition Boulevard and it terminates near.

Sony right now, see that's not I never need that.

But they're gonna go. It's gonna it's gonna go, uh to Santa Monica in a couple of years.

And by the time I'm seventy, there will be a working public transit in Los Angeles completed.

Yes, well, I'm not holding my breath.

You'll you'll, you'll take off your hat and let's go over it. Right the train, wrap my hand.

It's finally done.

I'll hold on to the rail. She I won't you play basketball.

Once you're in a town?

Though?

You do?

You like being in hotels, James, I love it.

I do, But sometimes I have the problem where.

I get in a hotel malaise where I just just stay in the hotel, and then I don't have any good stories to tell about the city.

All I just lie and say that, oh yeah, I saw your fine city today. But I really just I'm just laying in bed the whole time.

I'm gonna have to sleep lots more. Take your I and uh so I'm worried about it. I gonna go, luckily, I do. Atlanta.

You know, Atlanta, It's gonna be hot. It's gonna be so hot that you're gonna buy to be in the air conditioned room.

Anyway, I brought a.

Beating suit, you brought a big You bet we'll just walk around in your bathing suit with no shoes.

Are you a speedo guy or a lobby of the show? Yeah, yeah, goddamn.

Rightin a show meet your audience. You should get this guy?

Who is that guy? He wasn't a start.

It looks like Gary Busey.

Should get on Gary.

It's just the same vehicle. Yeah, yeah, I was just I've got some ticks. I was just walking on the side of the brea.

Oh why would you walk out their years?

Well, I'm a tick a mission out of it, if I may, if I may say so.

You're just talking about the bug that burrows into your head and sometimes gives you limes disease.

That well, yes, there's one incarnation. I'm also a big fan of the Fox cartoon children's cartoon.

That was just what about facial ticks? Are you into those?

Why do you think I got into it? What is your name? Friend?

My name is Chris.

Chris? Yeah, you what christas for? You should know me? We were not a history recreating itself simultaneous?

What if that's from like the Chinese calendar or something.

My mind is a Chinese calendar.

Oh wow, I am the I am the year of the dragon that happlied multiplied by the month of a monkey in its own But.

That is a lofty and hard to follow.

What is your name? Karen?

Karen? And kill Griff?

Impressed? But how I knew that?

That's amazing.

I'm a big I've been a fan for years.

Oh my god, thank you so much.

Not only have you been of all killed garffs. It's just a surname that I track.

It's a pretty great one, right.

It's Irish, specifically from the west. It's from the county Cork.

That's right. Yeah, yeah.

And uh my cousin Mike is a sheriff. Oh wow, sheriff kill Garriff.

That's right, Sheriff Kiff.

I'm almost I'm attracted your rhymes like I'm attracted to women's legs.

How is so? How is that? Almost? Creepily? I have a creepy and intention traction arrives.

No, I wish I had said anything. I love your new phone commercial.

Is it for a phone?

It's for an internet or a cable or a phone? It's from it's for the New World Order. It's a commercial for some kind of similar cra of reality.

Oh and are you pretty proud of it?

I mean it's proud of it. I've just showned it. I donated all the money to charity.

Oh really, I've received none of the proceeds, and none of the proceeds will go to my children either. Have put all that money, I wouldn't even put it on a on on Labisi Foundation, which is my charity. That money, I just meant that I threw away. I put in, I put into uh, I put into a cash hit and put it into briefcases and left them in select spots, sometimes in dumpsters where I knew they would go stream the landfill.

Oh, I do not take dirty money.

I heard you were setting aside a little bit uh here and there and just to uh for a proceed to make the teeth on your son smaller.

I don't I think that's your personal remark.

I don't your.

I think I think just I think for my personal dignity, I'm going to get out. I'm gonna don't stop the car. Let me out right here. I am a bit of confluence of stocker and life.

God he was I don't know why I said that about a sunstudent. I don't know. I don't really knew exactly where we were, that's all.

He tumbled right right. He had been tracking ticks and kill gariffs. I'm so proud he was on World's Dumbest. When I was on World's Dumbest, and he would come in and he was very yeah, yeah, and he was on it. Someone wrote his jokes, but he would come in and demand I explained what the joke meant, as if I had written the joke for him, and he'd get very upset.

I almost wish he was here to just reenact them.

Yeah, he got very angry, and uh, I didn't I get Well, his kids got those teeth, they're there, I mean they probably I'd feel bad.

I don't know why. Why do I attack people because of their luck?

You know what celebrities make people nervous?

It happened. They do.

I blurt. I tend to blurt. He's Garry Busey, you know, he was Buddy Holly, for God's sake. Wow, Well, we almost got a that was scary, and he.

Just realized the last reason the guy would have hit us, and then swerved away.

Knowing it.

I think his swerving away was like, oh whoops, gee, I noticed that's his version of an apology.

Oh good flares, That's what I.

Love.

A cop with flair. That was amazing. Oh wow, Oh that's why.

You feel travel anxiety. When does it start to fade away?

Like now I started to get just tired the airport.

Okay, if i'm, if i'm, you know, as soon as I no longer have to hurry and rush and carry backs and.

Ship right, Yeah, for me, it's just the the anxiety of knowing that you have a plane to catch, that you have to pack and everything I can't.

I never get used to it. But once I'm there and as soon.

As I can fart straight down cushions, God, really relief.

As soon as I know I'm gonna take six inches of phone with my with my moss on.

James likes to get in there and do kind of a smell.

Sprays are like part factories like every like, especially at night.

Right, people don't even try not to.

Oh no, it's just they'll just like people just get up and fart of who's gonna blame me? There's hundreds of other people on here.

Only place that people are they're just You're just everyone's just parting time.

It's one giant fart chamber, and we look down on the kids because they're screaming.

It's adults parting on each other. But we're mad at children just for making like, can't.

None of us want to be here? Just buckle up and start parting.

Everybody complains about babies crying.

Nobody ever complains about two businessmen who will talk business loudly to each other the whole time. It makes me want to murder those men, because it's that thing of like, why would I lower my voice?

I'm the CEO.

It's like that.

Actually, like we're on Southwest fool Well, well, what we're gonna have to do when we get down there?

I want to I want to find out it's in charge of that branched down in Phoenix and it went him fired and when his kids pulled out of school.

It's so true.

It's like, Noah, It's like someone that would be talking about the color beige really loudly for four hours.

I do a lot of conversation avoidance. Oh I'd been traffled.

When someone says, what do you do for a living?

I know now not to say comedians.

Yeah, I say it. I say I'm a writer, graphic designer.

That's what do you do? Wait? You we all have three lives.

Yeah, because my sister is one and I so I have her lives at the ready, like I can pull from her life.

You see your grammar school teacher and you see a graphic designer.

Yeah, because I can talk about that.

I do.

I do have that as a side job, so I can pretend.

But I'm not.

You know, like that might sound bad into somebody listening to this, but my thing is not like, oh I don't want to be asked.

Questions or whatever. It's eventually people lay people whips running.

All right, we'll ask you enough questions that they become disappointed in the answers you're giving them.

So there's only so many. What have I seen you? Right? You don't know?

Well, what's your comedy about? I can't.

I don't know nothing, and no one knows.

I'm for higher I don't have a lot of solid ideas.

And no one is above asking.

I'm amazed every time at how many people are willing to say, tell me a joke. I can't believe that it's not just a guy what's a mithing with a missing tooth? I said missing like I was missing a tooth with a mithing like a camouflage.

He was huge.

He was like he was at least if he was way too big to be on the airplane. He was like they put him in the front. You know, the front seat is the only place you could.

Fit in literally seven two he was seven feet at least. He was really really big. He had to bend over the entire time in the airplace.

Ship, and well he was because he was fighting.

He was good the only way I can. He was on one side of me, no excuse me. He was the mill and then there was me on one side of this business plan on the weather side. And the guy wouldn't shut up. It's going like I've been an airplaye a long time. He was bald, he was the big guy.

He looked like he looked like one of the uh one of the three sons in Futurama of mom if you see Futurama, one of like idiot sons. Yes, So he was like a big cleatist type guy and he was just like have been airplay?

Oh well a couple couple of years.

Now, what do you do, and I was like, I made mistake. I was like, I'm a comedian and he had the story that went nowhere. He was like, he was like wow, wow, and then he was like, you.

Know what ayah one time aya, I had you know that what what's the what's the Bill Gator or whatever? The David Spade movie.

Was Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt, Bill Care.

We are arriving at next week he goes, he goes, he goes, uh, you know Joe Dirt, And I'm like, I mean David Spade.

He's like, that's the one and he didn't even know.

And then he started yelling about how his mom once met David Spade's and that was a story that was oh wow.

Then he goes, how about that. That's not all right? Sorry to share a non story, no story.

No, that's It's phenomenal to me that there are people out there that I love the stories that don't go anywhere.

They're my favorite.

Where's the fun? Was he fly? Who needed him in his city?

Not even a loved one. Yeah, he's just a strong.

Man and a circus train. I love the idea that Joe Dirt's the thing he remembers David Spade and.

Dirt.

It's just like and I'm I'm making fun of him for being stupid, but I'm the one that's like Bill, you don't.

Even know joke Dirt.

And they just he was flying circus to circus.

I like if Bill Gator was a movie where David Spade had half a lizard face like the little girl on came a Throne.

He had some some mishap in a factory with that grew lizards turned.

Him into half the lizard.

Wait, hold on, that's that's Brody.

Oh my god, let's get it.

We have I can't believe this is greyde in the car.

He's a domie in his hair doing it right. We've got Karen Calgaraff and Chris fair Banks. Get up, act, lay up, Brody?

Where are you going?

I walked to ally As, how dare you la born and bred?

I do this?

I walk from the valley, I change shoes and wan Netka.

You probady trying and guess what college I went to?

Where are you from?

Montana?

Montana?

Did you go to Missoula State University?

That's right?

I did?

Yes, I get information and I reproduce it randomly.

Traveling to tonight.

I'm traveling to Delta to inform them how awesome I am, and then I'm walking.

Back to the valley. You don't even have a flight.

I don't have a flight.

How dare you?

I don't need a flight? I book in this town.

I actually I think if you want to get beyond this the terminal, you will need a ticket.

Yeah, to tell them I'm a member of the Star Alliance.

Well, that extra room where you can smoke and stuff, that's amazing, that's great.

Is it from all your traveling that I'm a frequent traveler? They know me by name at the Marriotte on Century.

Is it because you're wearing we just passed. Is it because you're wearing a T shirt with your name on it?

Brodie? Yes, Steven, Brodie, Steven.

Now, if you'll excuse me, you have to let me out before I get into the airport.

They say they don't, they need to see me. Yeah, they will see you. Thanks Brodie. Thanks.

Oh god, he's so positive. I'm sorry he just sat in your laugh eliot.

Respect that he walks from the valley.

I can't believe he knows so much about Missoula State University, where I went to college.

He loves colleges.

Oh my god, hold on a second, can't be right. That radio legion Phil Hendry before I'm he saw us.

He's coming this day.

Here Phil, get in, buddy, Phil show while we're talking about.

You got I love God. I didn't even have time to open the door. He just slipped out the window. Well here we are approaching l A X.

I mean, oh my god.

That who's Margaret? We're almost fatue.

I never noticed that giant sign.

That would be cool.

I like how these change colors.

Yeah, that's nice, like the seasons these that was the color, the sort like balls when you don't get late enough.

Yeah, I hear that, buddy, I am. Let's high five.

You know what, dude, start talking about how much sperm is in their nuts?

You gotta start high five.

But Nicholson, I believe that's Jack Nichols, Nicholson and Christian Slater together and Arnold Palmer.

Oh, get out of here. He got I keep everyone okay.

Oh my god, wait a minute, what's the first criminal.

Tran?

Yeah, they're gonna have to change that name.

Somebody's transphob it's not PC anymore.

Trying to.

Heal like a Do they think we're capital I'll pick him up.

It, Kathleen Turner, she's a hero. I mean, can you take me around the whole shoe?

Yes, of course, please do of.

Course tell me what brings you to Lost Hedges? Wow?

I just want to say right now, I loved you in Romancing the Stone.

Everybody says that ship it was.

I think I wanted to get in her fingers carve stone.

Man.

I'm okay, alright, you're a hero. Did you see her temples veins? She was a monster.

I love her?

You love it?

She wanted to kill me?

Yeah, first of thought she was Captain Kirk she did.

It was that blue k shatnery.

Dupe appearances together.

Back to back, just wearing like matching outfits, sitting on that weird couch that.

He used to interview people on. Remember that show where he had like the back to back shatter Yes?

Do you remember those? James William Channon had.

A talk show.

Yeah, he's had a couple.

Wait a minute, are you just thinking of him on the Starship Enterprise Star?

Sorry I'm taking the really slowly and dramatically.

Yeah, uh oh oh?

Are we getting pulled over?

No? I think it was just that's a taxi. You wants everyone to slow down.

He was flashing his lights when we're on the fucking auto bonn and we're going three miles an hour in.

L a X.

That was amazing. It almost worked. I almost pulled over because of a taxi man.

It's good that I gave you some breaks over there, steering wheel like the driver's ed car, So.

You too can pull over whenever you want.

Oh my goodness, what and your airline once again, just to de DeltaV car.

Delta love and fuck you over. But it's only about two years that you can boycott us that.

It was weird when that was their theme song. I wondered, how are they why are they doing this?

Why?

And then they quit using that. I thought it was a great song. It was brave to admit that that's what they You know, they fucked you over?

Yeah? They uh.

Like airlines will periodically like ruin my life and like I'll never fight you again. But I realized it only lasts about two years before some other airline takes their place. For a long time, you had so I could only have room for one ship, one or two ship airlines at a time.

Right years you're cutting out all these travel.

Choices here for a long time. Yeah, you at beef with Turkish airlines for a while. Wasn't that correct?

I would.

He didn't like.

False advertising.

I regret that it's okay. I wish i'd never.

Well, it's better than admitting.

Sure he genicidal state, proud of the genocide, get rewarded for it internationally.

But is Stanbul it's beautifulst time of year? You got it? Meant that.

Athens? Just it's good.

I hope that you make people laugh in Atlanta, James, I hope that improv Just.

Is this the is this the sign off?

I hope you enjoyed your right and I hope you're happy with the things you've done.

Am I'm happy. I'm proud of you.

I'm so proud of you, James.

Did he Yeah? Did did you feel like that?

Because we were on that last comic standing around the same time and you went on and be kidding and took it to the limit.

What happened with that? I can't even remember. Did you like win that show? I gotten that show?

I got into the final round, it was the top ten, and then that was up until that point. It was the judges and a couple of the producers going we like you, you move on, and then top ten. That's where America got to vote on the phone share on the internet, and as soon as America.

Got to weigh in, I was the first person that got rid of.

As soon as the phone lines opened up to America, they were like, get this guy fuck out of here.

I'm not voting for someone. I'm voting again.

I just called the vote against Cannon. Do you you hadn't had you been doing stand up that much before that?

It was kind of new to it. I started, Yeah, what really? Yeah?

I was amazing. Yeah, of course that's all.

That's how happened to stand up in them.

To cater to a TV show that is a contest about stand.

Up two years before that. That's back straight.

No, that's amazing though. I'm I'm commending you. It's tightly commendable.

I worked on that season and I cannot believe you were new to comedy then. Yeah, you got new material every time you did it.

You know what's fun.

It's amazing.

Thanks. Hey, guys, The moral of the story is, I'm great, you are terrific.

Yeah, we've learned anything.

These two clowns.

I'm sorry that I let all these people sit next to you. Well I shouldn't have let most of those lunatics in.

Karen Chris, Yeah, really great. You got me here way early.

Oh is that good? Should we sit here for a job?

Do you want to do? You want to drive back up to Hollywood? Drive back down? Yeah?

Should we drive around one more time?

This fellah? Okay?

Do you want to go back out into onto Airport Boulevard?

You know, I actually probably should go in so you can.

Oh, you're starving.

I'm sorry if in your life.

No, you're.

I'm signing off. Guys, goodbye, You're terrific.

I have a great trip.

Thanks a lot, buddy, enjoy your shows. I hope to see you again. Sorry. Last time I saw you, I was picking fight to the pool party.

Hilarious. He was kicking stuff into the pool and it was like, oh thees.

Wait, that's the Bridgetown shirt that I was telling you about that Angelo made.

Look how great that is?

Oh that's terrific. Yeah, I love it.

I love a bearded baby. Yeah, you never see him in real life. You have to resort to t shirts.

Bye, Sorry, goodbye friend, Thank you, thank you the best it's the best guy. You better listen to this podcast, so I keuld get in a ride.

Something special to our listeners. Ah, he's terrific. That was scary. That was almost like those actual people visited. Yeah, I know, the actual very real. It was very real. That was amazing.

One ask you by it.

From you?

He was molested. That guy was molested.

No is he coming back?

He says it. I'm not.

I'm not telling any tales out of school. You're just saying Eddie is a sleepy time tea.

Take care of the fact that I was molested. That's what he says.

I've never heard him say.

My Eddie pepatone sounds a little like wall It's shown.

It's hard, you know. James makes it look easy, but it is not.

That was what That was an enjoyable time.

Now here's the thing. I couldn't. I try to control my ridiculous laughter and I can't do it. James Domian, it makes it tickles me.

And do you not hear me snorting like a character on the Muppets.

I don't, I really don't.

That's the best part, Like when you don't have to stay in the scene with the character very loud okay, Oh.

It was right below my face.

Oh okay, I will go, But.

I still want to talk about scenes and characters. Characters character welcome.

This is the kind of car where a TVs kind of car where characters are welcome to come.

In and then get it, and then they are welcome, and then they're welcome to get launched out. Whenever we see Fifth kicked a lot of people out of the car at a high rate of speed tonight, maybe.

We only pick up impression us from now on.

I can't believe I talked about Gary Busey's kid's teeth. That was the worst idea I've ever had.

He should in the back of the head.

I mean, he couldn't. There's head rest here that it was in the way.

I know, what's the weirdest thing you've ever said to a celebrity in a celebrity panic?

I think just when I jogged on the beach past James Broland Josh Broland, sorry, that the one from Goonies and a few other movies that are good sense, and I I said, hey, how you been? Because I thought it was someone I knew, but he knew that's what. Wow, we're getting sandwiched in between two shuttle busses. Yeah, that was That was an exciting visual that you've all missed

He was a little he's a little. Yeah, everyone is. There's anyone that gets a lot of acting markets. They're five or seven, they're very tiny. I don't know why that's the case.

Five seven is generous. I think you're doing five to five.

He was my He was my height, beefier though, giant hands. I did look at those hands. It was like he was holding two pancakes.

Manly, yeah, not more manly than a breakfast pastry. I have our lists of screams from the corner. Oh is that really what we're gonna call it?

Screams from the corner from the corner. It's our version of a shout out. It's just less in your face.

I put I named some names, but we lots of the people who we shouted out.

To last week, uh wrote to us said lovely things. We're so happy and surprised, which made us very happy. But we can't. It's like that you don't send the thank you note for the thank you note.

So I just put down new names of people who either said they heard it, liked it, or teed it, start whatever.

Yeah, there's just some new people that I figured we'll give them a deal.

Okay, okay, terrific. And this is in your handwriting, so it's hard for me. Not and I'm not That wasn't mentas it's like to you, I'm just bad at deciphering.

Well, give me try and then i'll tell you. At Woodles, Woodles, oh wait, it was Woodles last week and this.

Week at mister Cover at mister e to you, Yes, yes, at Stereo King or Stero, Steve o'king at Steve o' king.

Let me see Steve oking, Steve o'king, Yes, Steve o King yep.

And he said something specific where it's like it's like he's in the car with us, which is that's right.

I think that's a sweet way of saying that.

The yeah, and he likes it.

Yeah, I like it.

I also sorry, but I was just gonna say on that comment like, that's part. I like that idea that people would feel like the fourth passenger, right, isn't that what we're kind of trying to do. Yeah, exactly, aside from the variety show we did tonight with all of our different.

Care we want you to feel traumatized by a fake Gary Busey as much as we are.

At Zombie Babies. Yeah, that's Oh, that's Gabe's new handle.

He's He's always been great to me, okay, and at nine plus nine knives ninety nine.

I get it. It's like the left balloons.

That's right. Games are the opposite of balloons.

And of course John Vargus again helping us out. We're I think that's it for us. We're heading back to Lax just in case someone needs a pick up.

Yeah, we're gonna We're gonna do pass by and see if Eddie Pepatona is still screaming. Oh, I was just gonna say, if you want to subscribe on iTunes and give us a review, all that stuff, it always helps.

The more reviews you have, they give you things, or they make you.

Popular, and you start earning money eventually.

And then you your self Estee goes up.

Yeah, a spring in your step, that's all we're asking.

And then a natural spring in your backyard.

Just for the price of feeding a child every day, you could listen to our podcast.

Do you want to make more money at home?

Sure, we all do. Do you have a broken TV and oor VCR.

TVVCR repair, gun repair, childcare?

I have a Sally Struthers robot at home that needs repair.

She's on the corn.

Oh it's Sally struthers Her. I'm so shad. I haven't done any in commercial in such a long time. Get out, Get out of rfl CAE. She's gone. Now we should look good. Though she looked good.

We just keep doing this for like two hours.

Like it's not a good impression at all. Nothing's real, Nothing is real.

I don't know which way is up.

I have a little bit of the heady. I was at the birthday party for too long, and now I have a laughing headache kind of feeling.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel that way too. I'm a little like I'm filled with energy but it's not usable.

Yeah.

And also I have a bit of a headache.

Yes.

Also, I love Jesse Ventur.

I love that impression of Jesse Venturer so much that the fact that he knew my Was he the one that knew my name?

No, that was Gary Pucy, Yeah, yeah, he said, And Karen, what's your name?

Yeah?

James is a talented man.

He's amazing, He's brilliant.

That was a great guest and this was a fun episode. I'm glad we did it together, Karen.

I'm me too. Let's let's say we'll do it again together.

Hey, how about next time I drive?

This sounds great next time on?

Do you need him right?

Did you fart at the end? I?

And ah?

You want to way back home?

Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how.

Much baggage you claim.

Give us time and a turn and al and gay. We want to send you off in style. We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine? Now?

Porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need.

A little?

A little.

With Karen and Cress

Yah