Ep. 58 - David Huntsberger

I leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and aid Turmano and Gabe aid, we want to send you off inside you you wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Now? Porn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks, This is Karen Kilgareth.

We're leaving Karen's house. We're going to pick up David Huntsberger, the.

Star of Sci Fi's news series. Is it called Reactor?

I think it is. That does sound right.

It's character.

I've watched some trailers for it, and I find him so delightful that David Huntsberger.

I like the promotional thing I saw where he was a multiplicity David of him doing many characters m hm, interacting with himself. I assume with green screen technology.

Or well it is the Sci Fi Channel.

Yeah, they might have been doing some you know, experience stem cell research creating clones of him.

If his show can actually cure all I would really watch it.

I bet it will. I'm not putting it past him. He's a smart guy.

I bet he has the power to reduce inflammation and brain plaques.

And he's got a great face.

He does have a great face.

He has a face of someone It's like he reminds me of someone I used to know.

He'd ohed.

He reminds you of Gautier, Yes, because he's never wearing a shirt.

He's always wearing body paint and camouflaged against some kind of backdrop.

And just scream singing about some fucking girl.

I live with David for a while.

Uh huh.

And I did notice periodically in living with him, I'd catch him in a certain light and I'd be like, Wow, I've got a handsome roommate.

Would your heart skip a beat? Sometimes?

No, I mean, come on orientation of course, lend itself to that lifestyle, not that that if it was, then it would be. I would love to be in that lifestyle. But it's less complicated, I feel. But that's what a lot of I think. That's almost homophobic to say. I'm going to take it back.

Well, it's not homophobic as much as just a little grass as greener situation.

Right, And I need to stop doing that with my life, right.

Because you've got a pretty great life.

I mean, thank you. It's okay. I've had a good week. Good. Yeah, I'm going to Baltimore on Tuesday. Great to be in a football commercial. Is this a national No, it's not the big one.

Is it the medium one?

It is a low level pay gig, but but a gig. It's something where they well, it just doesn't Last time, people reminded me I was being abusive and not level because.

They were incorrect in saying that.

But we have to have one or the other because it's the summertime in Los Angeles.

Yes, okay, I will just this will be a low car level sound podcast. Anyway, I went into this audition and they said, what do you know about football? And I didn't lie, and I said, you know, I don't really follow football, and I got it.

Do you think that's why?

I don't know. They just kind of changed the character because when I went in to do wardrobe, they said, dress them up like someone that doesn't want to be there, which is kind of how I felt during the audition. I saw what it would pay. I wasn't super excited about the pay. I kind of didn't want to get it. And anytime you don't want something that's a secret, that's when you get it. Because I was like, I don't have time for this. When can I leave?

Is it here?

Yes? Yeah? Yes, I thought you were going to say, pray tell. I don't know how to properly use it?

Is it here? Lamb chop?

That seems like some prey tale, seems like a Grandma things that I think straight.

I'm pretty sure we are after the podcast, Well, we're going to loop around and drop. Technically, we are dropping a comedian off somewhere, not the airport, but at an engagement party. Our friend Tig Dave. Dave and I are old roommate and your friend, uh, it's having her engagement party?

Is it?

Tig Welch Tig Seinfeld?

Yeah, the famous Tig Seinfeld, Tig.

McMurphy, who I went to high school with.

Do you know another Tig' that's my joke. There is only one. Wouldn't that be great if you could just go by your first name?

Karen?

We are here and David.

I assume we're queer it turns out.

I'm gonna say we're here.

And say and then say we're queer.

And wow, I don't have that much time I did.

If it came up automatically on your it's.

Like, wow, I've been saying that a lot.

It just coming up. When Chris came to meet me.

Of course, I was running late, and you had the greatest expression when I came out the door, trying to cover for how insane my hair looked.

Didn't I look like a witch?

I did? That's not I Probably the look on my face had to do with a lot of I said this the other day. I'm always worried about the way I'm affecting people and what I'm making them think, when in reality, they're usually just thinking about themselves.

And that's true.

Right then, I had some internal issues, not gastrone testinal, but just like emotional. Oh and any look on my face, Not that I'm in a bad place, but I.

Just was like you were thinking about something.

I was thinking about driving.

It's such a good point.

Why my coffee's bitterer. It wasn't your wild, wet witch.

Hair with my hair looked insane.

I mean, now, once you bring attention to it. I will then agree, I guess just to support you, because you know I support you you even when it's in you talking poorly about yourself. Well, there is a beat that was an interesting this. I think I need to take the old zoom into the shop. Oh really, there is just weird and boos, beeps and boops and the occasional bop there. I think just that that was a blitz crag of bops.

Oh, they're all dead and they all died.

They all died in tragic practice, in a tragic garage practice.

Amp blew so big, it just blew straight up Henry Phillips.

Maybe maybe I bet yep it is. I'd recognize that wispy hair. Looks like we have a new guest. No, that's not Henry. No, that's a taller man with similar well Henry, we'd be he'd be upset if we if he saw yeah, mistake, it's much older man.

We just wanted it to be him.

But that guy's a handsome guy.

No, yeah, it's you know what it is. It's like it's Henry from one hundred feet away. Wow, I was just kind of excited.

Looks like there's gonna be catering.

It looks like it looks like Ramon's catering to me, there's some girls with some razor cut hair and tattoos.

And tank it is punk rock catering.

And there it's taken to go jogging before her big party.

Why is she in a jogging outfit? Hi? Hi Tiggotty. Hi, Yeah, Hi, Hi Tiggoty. We're gonna podcast with huntsy b right before We're gonna podcast with Huntsburger and then uh and then celebrate with you. Yeah, we were both wondering why we were gonna go jogging right now, I'm going to take a long You are gonna go, friend.

Oh, you gonna walk it off. We're recording. We're recording.

Well, now your friend knows.

I'm like trying to process everything.

Oh no, weird. Well we'll talk. Well, I'll I do because now I'm going to process it and talk you through it. You know how I fix things. Good to see you, Tik, looks good.

Take it all in, Take it all in.

She always had runners legs, tig. She's got some some uh some firm. Getaway sticks. There is no better phrase than getaway sticks. For my money, that was a I paid eight dollars.

You paid for that phrase?

Yeah, you have to pay to use it. It's owned by the same people that own the Happy Birthday song. This guy looks like the kind of guy that gets upset. We'll move out of his way.

So sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

It's okay. Oh he was a sweetie. Why did I assume he gave that friendly wave?

You know what he was doing, which is something I do all the time.

He holds his lips in his teeth, and it looks like you're mad, but you're just like holding your mouth clothes.

Maybe it's because he is avoiding orthodonic work. I know before I got braces, part of my speech therapy was too tighten my lips, which would make them more taut firm, and push my teeth back into place.

Can your lips do that? That's the secret orthodontist don't want you to know. You can give yourself lip braces.

Everything you can do with braces, you can do. I think it's a mic situation.

My mic was sliding down. Is it better because I have this dumb scoop next shirt on?

It is?

Just how about that?

It's I'm I just want to apologize, Danny. I talk a lot about the quality of the.

Sound, and then no one can ever tell.

But I bet they can. I don't know. It's hard to it's hard to know why it's up, and then you don't know the kind of sounds I'm hearing. It's almost like being a schizophrenic person. I'm just hearing if they if, if the if the wrong mon said, just being out a little more Irie b flitz creeg.

That's if the Ramones went to a reggae festival.

And it just rubbed off on them. They're like, I had no idea punk rock is dead. Let's let's go to Mount Zion, get.

Back to Jaw and really become Irie.

Let Jaw rule for once. Well, okay, I thought you were coming to my place.

Oh shit, is he an echo park? That's bad? Should we just do should do a drive around?

I think we should take a break and wait for him. I don't know should we do that. It's important that we have a guest. I mean, you and I can wrap a little bit more.

Yes, for sure, But I mean is he going to be okay with it?

Yeah? I mean, well, it all remains to be seen. These are the pits and follies of me trying to run a thing, and boy, I just don't have great managerial skills.

None of us do.

More technical as you can hear from the bleeping.

Look we're doing our god damned is best when we kind of don't know what's going on.

Right, Well, I think we could both stand to get out of the car for a moment. I'm hot as the dickens. Let's go to that.

Let's go down the hill to a Starbucks.

Let's go down the hill to a Starbucks, and we're going to take a little break for now. How about some break music? We have the rights to this, right perfect, and we're back about to blast into Uh the street is so scary?

What is this?

Uh?

Bundy Barham, It's Bundy and overly it's.

So I mean, it's killed his wife. Yeah, I assume, vehicularly, I've never heard about this OJ killed somebody?

He did it turns out well they never got him for it.

Oh okay, well he must be innocent. Then he went to court, right, yeah, well then why do you why'd you say killed him if he went to court and he is innocent.

Oh, it's just uh, I guess I'm racist.

That's what it is. It always come that our guest is here. Our guest is in the back of the car. David Huntsberger, Hi, David, Hey guys. How's it going, buddy?

Well, it appears the air doesn't make it to the back of this car.

Uh huh no, I've here. I'll turn off that mic. Let's do it and just crank it where we need to get comfortable.

I'm a little sweaty.

Otherwise I'm doing great. You you have a comedy concert tonight, Yeah, the junk show, which you have done before Christopher, but not Karen.

I've said I would, and then I just don't show up.

Yeah.

Oh really, I do that a lot because I'm a diva? Am I saying that?

Right?

Diva? I'm a diva?

Sorryva?

Thank you the v Yes a diva, I'm a What do you have in store for the show tonight? And he surprises things up your sleeve? Oh? Yes, many a thing. I've found some drifters.

I've handed out a number of cards to random strangers. The kind of stranger.

Really, one of us gets to kill a drifter tonight.

Well, that's the idea. That would be so fun.

I'm still working on the chant that we'll all get get into with the blood upon our bodies and such and yeah. Yeah. The response so far, just in principle, has been positive. So I feel like it's kind of I've never been to an orgy, but a lot of times I've hear stories of people checking out and I just would be so embarrassed if you know, one of us kills this guy and then no one takes part in the blood or.

Yeah, right right, And so you're saying it's a combination drifter murder and also orgie or that.

Was just well if you know it's that's always on the table. Yeah, you got a drifter body there and you're not thinking that. Yeah.

The one thing I like about drifters is they're so good at improvising and adapting to a situation, right because they have these ideas knocking around their heads, and they'll just go with one of them if you present it, particularly when they're deceased, right right, Yeah, they still fly, but by the seat of their pants.

Being dead is the ultimate yes, and it really is.

Some of the best improvisers, that's why they're dead. Yeah felt close? Uh, I mean, oh really no? Oh copyright, oh yeah, I forgot.

Copyright in my name too, so I'd prefer you keep it out of your filthy mouths.

I apologize. We're already in trouble this episode because our hold music was the Beatles. Imagine. Oh well, I think it's smart.

SoundCloud is really cracking down on using music nowadays. Oh really, that's the word on the street. Yeah, so keep it under fifteen seconds, you guys.

Oh it was was You're fine. There was just a snippet and oh I was David, I ask you about your Yeah, that's we're both we both want to This guy is gonna kill himself for America.

Nine bike riders are that guy swatty yet keep the seat too low so their legs get all weirdly bow legged when they pedal. Yeah, and some sort of American flag paraphernalia fitting way too tight.

Yeah, just annoying. But they're gonna live forever. I mean, did you see those legs compared to his His elbows look like raisins, but his legs look like a young man's walking sticks. He's going forever. You know that. His heart's just like a hummingbird's. He's really showing off going downhill here. Oh, I mean, he the only reason he was riding that way is because he knew people were watching him.

Yeah, and he's peddling going downhill like a real jerk. Yeah, just coast, sit back and enjoy it. You've earned it.

Yeah, earned it. There he is.

See.

I love it when guys listen he.

Was riding his bike to Universal.

City to go on the Jaws rides. I would love it. I would explain why he's wearing red, white and blue. You gotta be patriotic when you go to Universal City. Let people know where you.

Oh yeah, I ride that tram. I'm nearly always in some sort of icis gear or you know, as goofs. Yeah, yeah, I went as a Taliban guy.

It always goes was over. That's everyone's favorite joke. Yeah. When they go to a theme park.

They get to play kind of like a hero person, and I'm the bad guy. I get thrown into all sorts of different you know, areas of the park.

You sound really fun when you go to amusement park.

Oh, I get into it. When they go to punching me.

I really ooh ah, they go to punching you. They get to punching me when they commenced to punching.

And it always comes to that because I'll get, you know, first called out for my gear, which no one likes. Then I get called out by someone who has a familiarity with the particular ethnicity of people involved in those organizations, and they don't care for me making a mockery of that, and so I've got kind of everybody against me.

Do you know how to walk the walk? Talk the walk? I know you you can walk the walk, but can you talk the walk? I mean, do you know what?

I can walk the talk?

I don't know what that's what I meant to be saying.

Mm hmm.

I don't even if I was pretending to be a terrorist, I wouldn't even know. I guess you say all ah a lot.

Yeah, it's just a significant amount of like thumbs down for any American stuff and say.

A lah, mount Zion, emancipate yourself.

I'll do some rasberries.

Oh it is right right.

Here in our nations. I just do stuff like that.

Oh thumbs down, yeah, raspberry. The this is boring masturbating hand gesture. There's probably a better name for them.

The terror move.

Yes, the terror move, the terror tug, the tug of terror. That sounds awful.

Young man, are you in there tugging your terror I'm.

Combing my har combing my hair for America mom, geez.

And so that's the theme of your new show.

Yeah, predominantly give us give us a synopsis. We're both very excited about your new Skyfi show.

Thank you. That's s y, f Y and f Y. The show is a clip show that has like an interview component, It has sketches, and it has some news mixed in as well. So it opens with me kind of catching everybody up on shows a little quick quick clip, some goofs. Afterward, then maybe sit down with somebody from that world, chat with them a bit, have them help them plug their upcoming project and so on.

This is like a soup type show.

It is, but there's no green screen, so it's there's an actual physical screen, and then I sit down at a desk and do some It's components of many shows that already exist.

Are you going to be wearing a tie and jacket?

No, In fact, there's been a lot of decision making going on there, me wanting to be in like some sort of animal outfit and them wanting me to look respectable, so I'll be in kind of like collared shirts, but real cashed.

Up colored shirts covered in koala ideally.

Yeah, you got a compromise with them somewhere.

Yeah, I mean you're at the star.

See what's misleading. In the promo, A lot of green screens were used. There was a multiplicity situation where there was many of you.

Yeah, that wasn't a green screen though, that that was a.

Bunch of you. I knew it. Yeah, clones. Yeah you didn't.

I mean we lived together. You didn't see my guys.

I never did see those guys.

Oh they're quiet. I mean that's how I could pay rent.

I thought you were just moody and occasionally he talked like a paper boy.

Yeah, my old timey guy you never caught out of That wasn't me. No, Oh yeah, I mean that guy, he's like seventy five years old.

Oh that's that's so funny.

Yeah.

I wonder it was so easy for you to pay rent too, all those incomes.

Oh yeah, A lot of times I wasn't even there. What Yeah, I'm off cryogenically doing stuff.

I'm starting to cryogenic. You were off criogenically doing stuff. I feel like I've been lied to, But I had fun with all of you guys. Oh thanks, yeah, but.

You're not friends with him. Actually you're friends.

Yeah, yeah, I don't even know which one you use back there. Now, I'm that one that you like the most. It's great.

Yeah, you mean my favorite I'm your favorite clone, And that'd be a good way to clear up arguments you.

Have with people. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm my clone.

I'm sorry.

Channel.

Yeah, my favorite clone is great. That's all you have to do is walk into a pitch meeting, say those words, push some papers off a desk and flip them off, and walk out, and you got yourself a green thumb, green headlight, green lights, thumbs up.

You got that green thumb.

Yeah. Once you do that, you pitch a show. Suddenly you're a terrific gardener.

You throw those papers on the floor, boom, plants everywhere.

That's a green thumb.

They're tiny papers.

Some people call them seeds, and then boom, you've got a garden.

And what's new with you guys?

Oh us, we're just well, I mean I've been I got a commercial where I'm with a couple of football players. Oh sweet, Drew Breese is one.

I know that guy.

Yeah, I gotta go and the other Floco something. Oh yeah, yeah, he's a So I got to go to Baltimore on Tuesday, cool and shoot a commercial and then I'll be back.

And you're hoping out with reactor too, Yes, I hope.

So that's why I'm going to be gone. I was going to do crowd warm up for David's show. Karen, just go in there, throw candy at him, keep them happy, tell some stories about my cat being on his laundry, and then I'm you know, and I hope I didn't jeopardize my position, not at all, man, because I didn't hear back from the guy, and then I got worried. Oh I blew it. He well, he emailed me, instaid, everything was fine, okay, so he just in then else Yeah.

Yeah, I I I handled that because not that I'm worried. I trust everyone involved with the team, but I if you've been to shows and the people they have doing audience warm up, a lot of times they are really grandfathered in there.

Right, folks, We got a great show.

Maxim was on the left over here. Who's visiting where from Carson?

Yeah?

Like Gary Cannon t Yeah, nothing against that, but I don't think against him but I was surprised that he took over for Pardo for the well because you.

Know what it's, it's a it's a whole different discipline that crowd. Then it's not stand up, it's it's it's crowd.

So you're saying that maybe I'm not qualified to do it.

I don't know you in a large group. I've never seen you manage a large group.

I mean I worked at a daycar.

Oh yeah, yeah, do you give me quiet?

That was great? That threw them on my shoulders, ran around, I got children for hours, and it's Chris with a mustache? Can I be on your I had a mustache at the time, so they called me Chris with a mustache. That's not what I did, and make them call me.

That, And then was there another Chris?

No, No, they just wanted to differentiate from the one that had walked in on that first day. And suddenly I came back with a mustache and my name changed now, but they would you know, he learn That's.

The lowest blow is if you're the only Clyde and they call you like Clyde with a limp or something like that.

Or like if it's a rape, like if you're black Clyde, but there's no white white. You have to call me black Clyde.

And I hope there's a guy named Clyde who insists everyone calls him black Clyde.

And he's just white.

In my mind he is of African American. Man, I immediately see you, like white Clyde, I call it black Clyde.

Yeah. I just think of a goth guy because I don't know, I don't go race.

With Oh yeah, he's like like black Francis. Yeah yeah, Oh, okay, my guy's a little bit more on the nose.

Okay, I guess my guy was from the South.

You're black Clide.

My black Clyde was white and old and the black part was just random.

Did he play harmonica or something?

I like that. Clide like a Cajun creole shrimp.

And guy just try to get some shoes on him.

He won't, he won't like it.

Yeah, it's not gonna happen.

It's really uncomfortable shoes on black line.

I got to hear that story.

Only, well, only for weddons or funerals.

And even then they're made out of an intricate series.

Of ropes and crawfish shells.

David is able to make moccasins. I've seen him make all kinds of footwear.

Oh yeah, we talked about them the last time.

He was but since then he made a really professional pair.

No.

Yeah, they had a soul on him. Tell us about your mocas.

Do you wear them?

I wear them as much as humanly possible. This is my this is my dark time of year because it's too hot to wear them. But I put like sheep skin inside them. I mean they're really warm and comfortable because I for my entire life I've really envision myself is I don't really like robes, but I need some slippers. I made my feet comfortable, and I would put a lot of hints out into the world and never once is a gift. Did I receive them?

Oh, like some deer foams or something.

Deer foams they're the best.

Oh yeah, some brands.

If I had known that, I would have done a lot of like deer foam hints.

Yeah. Well, it's good that you because in my experience, you get deer foams from family members that don't love you. Oh that's what. They don't know you. Yeah, they don't know you. They don't love you like Tasha some slippers. It's like, weren't you wearing these last year?

Yeah, that is a gamble when you get someone slippers, because then at Christmas they're sitting around wearing slippers. You're like, oh, please, don't unwrap it. I can't go back now, and you already wear I've had these for thirty years.

And when you say you don't wear a robe with them, I'm only just I'm imagining you naked with only slippers. But that might just have to do.

Yeah, I've I've resold a number of actual shoes, but like these, I made from the floor up I guess, or wherever you start, made of uh, And I cut them, cut them up and so like stitched them together and all that. And then I had to run into the place where you where you get the stuff and they were closed and I was like, come on, I need

Oh, I know the exact model. They're soft, they're white. Yeah, they're like aerobic leather.

Yep, and that's the tread that might have. But they're black, so they're really cushy and good and nice.

Went not for going outside?

Yeah yeah, I wear them outside sometimes. I wouldn't want to sprint in them. I think they'd come off, But yeah, wear them outside all the time. Yeah, but these these have no laces. These are big. I uh do you ever see those slippers that were like look like bear's feet?

Sure they were fun, they were novelty.

Oh yeah, that's ideally what I would have because I had some of those as a kid and them.

Is that why you want to dress like an animal on your should? Probably? What's that group of people that have they like a fly in the back and they loved each other? Is that is that you're not interested in that? Are you?

You're talking about the junk show and folks we bring to you a month and month out, people in costumes just having their way with each other, smiles on their faces.

One time at that Promenade Playhouse, in Santa Monica, there was upstairs above us a cuddle group of strangers who go and there has to be inappropriate. I think everyone there it's like, uh, you know, I don't they have to be strange. I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that strange. You want to cuddle with strangers, it's a cuddle group. You lay down and put your arm around people, and they're guidelines and rules.

Uh you know, as far as the gropes and whatever.

Yeah, yeah, real technical stuff about no pinks and no stinks, all that kind of stuff. And I just can't imagine that being a comfortable place.

I hear if you try anything, they can tase you. Is that true?

Really? They just hands.

Yeah, anyone can tase anyone wants.

The cuttling starts, so you're going into relax and around the perimeter are stationed some gentlemen with tasers at the ready.

You know, the cuddlers themselves have oh fun, so you can just kind of reach back and tase somebody.

Yeah, oh yeah, I'm getting into that. Okay, I wouldn't go otherwise.

Yeah. Yeah, they always have someone there to monitor. They give you a towel, a taser.

I've always found that phrase Mexican standoffs be a little bit insensitive. But if we could turn it into a cuddle standoff, Yeah, but just the same steaks in a real cuddle standoff, because that is so intimate. You're both there, electrons near each other's genitals and who's gonna squeeze the trigger first.

Oh, that sounds like a fun game, like a trust game.

M hmm, with a complete stranger.

Well, now I want to go to this cuddle group that doesn't exist.

It's the way you look at it.

You got to talk it through and fabricate your own.

Because if you could find a way to be comfortable and calm and yet one eye open, clearly ready for that tasing, you probably at the best you could be mentally right.

I mean, you're describing most of my relationships. I don't even know that that makes sense. I just said that.

Fun to say.

I think there's something there that resonates with everybody in the idea that that's kind of how you go through life in general. Unnecessary worry as if someone's about to taser your genitals. Right with this, a feeling above that of like just relax, just relax. It's just that big a deal.

Just cuddle, let's cuddle. No one's going to taste you. Yeah, but they could.

But but but what if they do?

Shut up? Shut up now, David on your show, are you the only person? Are you the only host?

Yeah? Well yeah, tell us about this sketch.

And that's that's where like the Clones thing came from. Is Originally I wanted to have all this weird uh stop motion stuff and clay things talking to me and the mailman was gonna kiss me on the cheek and things like that.

Why can't you do that?

Yeah, they wanted they wanted to seem a little bit more of my face. So then I was like, all right, how about this Clones thing? And uh so it'll it'll have the things that are topical, you know, so whatever spins off of that week, you know, so like ant Man's coming out or Batman or Superman. So we might do like a parody or a spoof or some sort of goof for a little short thing. They're usually like thirty seconds or a minute long.

Or jape or man is going to be Iron Guy Paul Rudd on the show that.

The first guest is not Paul Rudd, And uh but we but the the publicity people have reached out to everyone, and so me being a naturally grudge carrying city but also extraordinarily rewarded, like the first guest to me is a hero. So that'll have to wait and be revealed on Thursday. But that person can.

Tell me once we're done, yeah I will.

Yeah, and that person and then I'll know, you'll know, and you'll feel that just that great like refreshing sort of something that's really inconsequential that I know it.

Right and people listening right now they will just them knowing that I know that's enough for them, but just kind of oh boy, vicariously on the edge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's sweet insider info.

Tune in just to know what you know, yeah.

Yeah, not know yourself. Tune in to know what I might know, but know nothing for yourself.

To listen next week to hear do you need a riode to hear who was on my show?

Exactly?

You don't need to watch the show, but please do. I think people will waun joy.

That's the kind of thing that gets people to come back updates. I bet you're all wondering who that guest was.

And then I'll say it our show could turn into a reactor clip show where we are doing what David's doing for sci fi on this show. Yeah, almost like it's like Russian nesting doll.

That's fantastic. And then each one is hosted by Chris Hardwick.

Yeah, we stopped doing it. We stop hosting a show like this.

Yeah, that's that's one of the empires that he created. Is I host a show about a show that's my friend Tracy. Right there, there's Tracy Cat. She picked one of the better many of Honda's.

Look at that van that's tracts.

There she goes, she.

Is sorry, color straightcats.

David, when Sharknado three comes, how will that affect your life as a.

Well, let me just go ahead and be a big timer and announce I want to finally come clean. I was at the Sharknado three the party at Comic Con.

You.

Yeah, so I saw it. It was loud and there's a swimming pool and the drinks were good, and uh yeah I was. I wouldn't say it was crazy. No one went in the pool and no one was like fist fighting or anything. It was very pleasant.

Was Jared from Subway there. He was gonna be in Sharknado.

Yeah, just purely circumstantial. That guy can't get any Juriss Brunes to save his life.

I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. Honestly, I don't know much about this story. Everything I read about it, he's being dropped and accused. But the story was he had a friend that had a bunch of child pull out. Yeah.

Yeah, it all comes down to body of that.

That's my friends.

Make a beloved sitcom that all of America likes. You can rape upwards of thirty people, but if you just get skinny from eating subs, you get one naked four year old and you're done.

What are all these DVDs hidden in these giant pants you used to wear? I just want the pants. I want those giant pants to be a place he hides things, despicable things.

Horrible, horrible things that should be hidden or not exist.

Actually, yeah, yeah, they shouldn't exist. It's not.

No, it's not.

But it's great to talk about.

Redacted. That's just in case you didn't edit there, and then you get me coming in just announcing what just happened.

I redacted wall.

This This episode really jumped around a lot, redacted.

I think we should go back to talking about the.

Because I feel left out was redacted?

You know, like in a they show uh like s c C, I A files or FBI files and then there's just parts that are black bars.

Yeah, you know about that government pass used.

To work from the d MV.

Oh god, I don't know whout your government passed.

That's the information when redacted, which means no one can look at it.

I missed that on the job. I just almost always. I just said, sir, slide it under the bulletproof glass.

You were a reactor and I host reactor. I mean, that's incredible.

After reactor and it just takes out all the good stuff.

Maybe not the Russian nesting dolls. Is should you guys go through reactor do a lot of her day?

You start talking a minute, seven minutes. This is going to be good.

I like it.

We're going to promote your show in so many different ways that impedes your show.

I'm into it. It sounds people like.

Controversy, people withheld from that. So tune in to the first episode if you want to hear Jared from Subway, try and explain himself.

I just like to put it out there that Jared from Subway is in no way affiliated.

That's what David wants you to think, because it's the truth.

You're right though about I always think this when people are accused of child pornography. I just entertained it in my mind that that is the worst thing that you can say about somebody where immediately everyone assumes you're guilty, wants you to be guilty, and it's over. So just say, for example, Jared from Subway just discovered how.

To cure cancer and we will know big pharma will no longer be necessary.

Yes, And then they slam something like that, like, to me, that's so scary even though obviously child there, you.

Know there is the oh no, a fireman, a sweet person that's a fireman and that works with my brother in law somehow got his computer hacked into. It was then used for child stuff. He saw evidence of it and said someone hacked into my computer and there was an investigation. He got fired as a fireman. It really damaged his life and he won percent was innocent.

Yeah, they say that's what scientology used to do.

When people try to go against scientology and like get people out of it.

They yeah, would flyer people's neighborhoods and say this person is a child molester. Really yeah, So then even when the people were innocent, they just know that that's like a blasting stain on anyone's car.

And the worst two is that we immediately if someone were like, is probably crazy, but we are already conditioned in the beginning to go, oh right, there's no one looking after you, there's no one chasing you around. But if someone were to get a public forum to go, hey, hey, hey, the government is stealing all my stuff. They're impounding my car every week, they're taking all my documents and making the blah blah blah blah blah, and we'd go yeah,

And she always call it her treasures, my precious moment. I thought it was gold to blooms Karen, it's terrible. I should have known. Well for you, it won't be kiddy, it's some like a horse and a lady or something. Why, I don't know. It's not it's bad, but not as bad ladyesh.

Really, I don't think they have sex with their students all the time. And we just kind of go, that's adorable.

Yeah, that's right, because we think boys want wanted to happen.

Mary Kayla Turno and that dude have been married thirteen years.

They're still married. Yeah, I'd like to say happily, but I don't know them.

Yeah, they might bicker a lot. Yeah, there's an age difference. He always wants to talk about three eleven and she wants to talk about wham.

And when they are bickering, she has to tell him certain vocabulary words yep.

And then she's like, you're on detention.

It's like you're not my tutor anymore.

Oh, I'm so flabbergasted, flabbergasted, some feeling my mouth in your words that I don't know.

You're gonna need to know this the test. Oh as well learn it now.

Oh that'd be weird if they still did role playing where she was the teacher. But I guess healthy. Who are we to say? No one knows what goes on in other people's relations I just have boring, stationary missionary love relationships. Maybe I should Maybe I should have been with a teacher. There was a few I would have liked to mix it up with. You still have a chance, except for miss Brandolf, she broke.

Those are the best regrets in life. Yeah, but you didn't run off with one of your teachers.

I mean, have sex with child.

That's the kind of regret someone that has never had a real problem with have. I wish I'd ran off with a teacher. What have I done with my life?

I was twelve, but I was ahead of my years. She knew it.

It was a real love. I felt.

So David, not to change subject, But what is what is the part of living with me that you miss the most?

You're very quiet, and when you would come out, we just laugh a lot. I miss that.

Thank you. Thanks. We did do that a lot.

Yeah, you just thank you, Like everyone's been saying the opposite of that.

He's loud, and he's not fun when he comes out of his room.

He's fun in his room. So sometimes I wanted to go in there with him, laughing and tickling by himself, But then he'd come out solemn.

Quiet, demanding money for the phone bill.

Oh god, he knows. I always wanted a piece of his cash's loot. It's nice that you.

Guys still have like a positive relationship, because oftentimes when people are roommates, it ends badly. Yeah.

No, we didn't have a breakup at all.

No, No, it was the house broke up with us against our will.

Yeah, we are landlord a big grudge against you, good sir. And I forget his name, luckily, but if I saw his dumb old man's stonery surfer.

Face, yeah, it's like an elderly stroke victim surfer.

Guy who inherited some money and then squandered it all the way and had to use our rent money that we were paying him for other purposes and let his house lapse into foreclosure.

Accidentally open something from the bank. That's that said the bank, this is our house, and you haven't been making payments, and.

We were like something like that. We got to notice and said they're auctioning off O the house you live in or something.

Why aren't we paying rent? Then, so we decided we'd squat that summer right and just not pay, And of course that just made a bunch of people upset. There was like a one month where we didn't.

We just desperately wanted a squat. But it's just weird when you're like, I think the idea of having to peek up over your windowsill and be like, I'm an adult, anyone out there, herr sneak in here.

I think the way that I did screw them is I twice ordered for bulk pick up because there's a literally bags of garbage, like wet garbageaghetti and bags of spaghetti bags, just giant bags of spaghetti. Mom spaghetti, Yeah, Eminem's mom spaghetti, giant bags of it. And I never yes chewed up by a bird, mother, and I never put it outside. So there was this garbage in the garage for weeks. And that's I like to stick it to the man.

We did that too.

I think there's kind of standard dumb ways that you do that when you're in your twenties, because we did that exact same thing in Sacramento. We moved out of a house and filled the garage with bags of garbage.

And then just shut the grown door and drove away.

It feels good, so.

Kind of guilty.

You shouldn't I did.

I did too.

I mean, well, I think I went back after that and put some of that trash out. I don't think at some point, yeah, I knew you did. As much as I hated that guy, I uh, I didn't want him to have anything.

You know, I saw him one night day he told me he saw him a killer shrimp, and I wait, I like recognized his face and he recognized me. But I'm like, this doesn't benefit me all at all to make a small talk just because I'm in a good mood. It would end with him yelling. So I just went and pretended. I just start waving at everyone in the room. I got a disorder.

Oh the waivers in town.

I guess that's how I know that kid. He waved at me before.

You like the Melrose Larry Green of killer Shrimp.

I wish I know a lot of references. You know, Is that from a book? Because I don't read.

Oh Melrose Larry Green.

From a book.

That's the guy from Stern that used to stand literally on Melrose holding a sign.

That said a bunch of dumb man.

You know I'm a sternhead, right. I love that guy.

He's pretty amazing.

Yeah, I like how he said you're not a serious broadcaster. If you're you have a podcast, you have to go to a market and become a radio DJ, terrestrial radio DJ. Otherwise you're not a serious his thought processes from the eighties, Yeah, or a news or a newspaper writer.

Man, it would be weird though. I mean he he built up this empire within that and then made a billion dollars, right, and then a lot of I'm sure podcasters come up and go, hey, I pretty much do what you do.

But without the money part. Yeah. So he has animosity. It was there was some episode where he's fighting with that fear I've already mentioned.

It's been fun to watch retell a lot of stories over the course of uh, like doing the road. You go do morning radio, and in the beginning it was all the guys going with a podcast. I mean, you've got a podcast, and then like a year later, two year later, you come in and they're like, hey, want to stick around into our podcast after the show?

Yeah, yeah, you're right, they do.

They do.

The radio guys stop and then they record a podcast after they do their their broadcast. It's so funny to me, Well, we're back here at TIGS. I know you you tonight.

Of course, thank you for being there you guys.

It was a delight And I would you guys think you'll watch Reactor be honest with.

Me, Yes, it sounds like I'm gonna get because of it.

Oh good, cool? What help you?

What did you say you're gonna.

Because I was watching the promos that you were tweeting and they're really funny.

Thanks cool. I hope the show stays in that same vighton. I hope it stays silly and goofy like that and that. So far, we've done two test shows and they've been fun and easy, and so I'm excited and think thanks for uh for putting the the word out about it a little bit.

Every Yeah, everyone listening to this podcast that you just picked up hundreds of listeners yay. And also keep an eye on redactors people sometimes thousands. Yeah, we had an episode where nine thousand people listened.

David, Oh, congratulations, that's really good.

Yeah, it was a good episode.

Did you have Barack Obama on? Yep, that explains it.

He was talking about.

We had a sculpture of Michelle Obama's arm on.

Just that.

Now, my new goal for this episode is nine thousand and one listeners. You can do it, guys, come on, tell your friends this was a good one.

Watch Reactor on Sci Fi Networks. I'm sorry, I say, skyfie.

Hey it's Thursday at what time?

Thursday eleven thirty.

Yeah, well that's that'll do for your plugs. Sorry one plenty, and thank you everyone for listening to Do You Need a Ride? I've been Chris Fairbanks. Yeah, I've never done it that way. No, I like it. We just shook hands for the record, for the first time ever, Karen and I shook hands. It felt very strange. It was odd and uncomfortable, professional and authentic, minor, very moist. I apologize mine are quite dry. You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D y n A. R.