Ep. 51 - Bridgetown Portland's Memories

I leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage.

You claim and give us time and a Turnino and Gay.

We want to send you off instile. You want to welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it?

We scared or was it fine?

Now?

Porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need ride.

With Karen and Chriss welcome to Do you need a ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks Karen Kilgaraff.

We are driving on Sunset due east. Well now we've curved, we're due northeast.

Yeah, and we're back.

We're back. We took a hiatus, we.

Took an unexplained. That's what I found fascinating is I didn't get on Twitter to say why we didn't neither.

Did I have an episode? And you didn't either, We just kept.

I'm wondering how many of you aren't there anymore because of that, that missing episode? And if you aren't there anymore, I don't know who I'm talking to, but the people that still are, so thank you for staying.

Yes, thank you for you know, we are a little bit like your drug addict older cousin that will give you a ride if she's around and sober, But then there's also the chance that she's out in the gutter or somewhere.

We looked so good at Thanksgiving.

We had a job and we were going to be a stenographer, and.

Then at Christmas just face and lip scabs.

I'm fight with Uncle John.

I don't want anyone to think of anyone in their family who went through hard times. I'm just talking about the new Nirvana documentary. Oh, a whole lot of scabs on their faces.

I would imagine. Now that's the thing that they don't talk about with heroin.

I mean, yeah, it's a great high, but it's all sca.

I mean, they really shove them down your throat in that movie Philadelphia. But that's I thought that that was he. They really did. Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain had lesions, yes on their face. Yeah, at all time, throughout like it was and a shitty apartment through that whole thing. I'm like this, this was really It wasn't like he occasionally was doing heroin or it's the editing of this documentary.

No, no, I think they were full on Haro on addicts.

It's sad. It was to this day very hard to watch that program. Anyway. We don't want to be the Kurt Cobaine of podcasts, I think, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, and we're not.

I mean, here's the thing, kind of an extraordinary circumstance being in we were both in Bridgetown. Yes, we had all kinds of plans and schemes for how we were going to do our bridge Town.

We were rubbing our hands together like like like scheming people.

We were scheming.

We were scheming like evil villions.

It's just your hair continues to hit. But that's part of the real life experience.

That is, I mean, my hair is everywhere when it comes to podcasting.

That sounded really horrible.

Sometimes a guest will answer a question or go to answer a question we've asked and a ball of Karen's hair will just fall out of their mouth. Yeah, it's everywhere.

They don't like it. That's what's upsetting is that some people are in pride. They'd like that they get. Maybe it's the surprise that upsets them so much.

Yeah, if we said, hey, mid podcast, just so you know, big Balakaran's hair in your mouth. They might go, Okay, thanks for the morning, I will enjoy it cool.

I won't get upset, but instead, yeah, it's all a surprise. You're my drain.

So at Bridgetown it ended up that we the flights got masked up years. Something happened with that, so.

I just talk about it. I mean, sure, okay, Well here's what happened. When we left to go to Moon Tower.

My flight was.

At nine am, which meant I had to get up and leave by six am to get to the Lax, which is like in three cities away if you're in a normal town.

So anyway you thought Bridgetown was Moontower Part two.

I basically did the first discussion I had. My flight was at nine and then when they resent an email that I did not read, I didn't.

I didn't find my flight email. That's how I you. I couldn't find the fly found one that said how's this flight? Look? Anyway? They do a great job. I bridge down and they're the best, the belever. But I I something happened with the.

Information, and it doesn't matter because even if even if it had been I don't read things thoroughly enough.

That's my problem.

I just kind of I get an idea in my head and I just go with that, and then I could just look for numbers and emails that support my idea. So in my head I was I had a nine am flight, right, And so the ninety four I cleaned my house.

I did all this stuff.

And left at like five point forty five, just to make sure that I didn't get caught in traffic. And at one point in the car with the Uber driver, I said, well, it is Monday, so it's going to be so crazy, and the guy goes, it's Thursday. And then that's when I went, oh, I think I think something very off.

Oh that's funny.

And when I got to the airport, I couldn't. I was trying to check in, is this born?

I was trying to check in. It wouldn't let me.

Turned out I was six hours early for my flight. For a little while, I was considering texting you and coming to your house. But that's such a long amount of time to be like, hey, let's kill some time for a.

Flight, when of course I had not prepared for my trip. You know, I'm last minute later, that's.

Right, You could have still been out partying, as you sometimes dot your way into a flight.

But I show up healthy for Thanksgiving.

Yes, I was calling you, That's.

What I did.

There's no scabs on this man's face.

That's right, Not one and not one worker that doesn't belong outside the union at this face. That's that's another word for scab. Never mind another Oh my face is covered with non union workers.

Oh, I'm gonna blow up a rot and stick it on top of your head. That's how scabby your face is.

So.

Obama was also flying in the same day we did.

I mean, if I thought the Marines killed that, Oh, come on, I know, I know the difference. I actually approve of our president. I did have some trouble with my covered California coverage, and I know it's gonna get ironed out and soon we'll all be insured. And I'm a liberal pink hole liberal, are you a I'm a little a liberal pink hole And that's uh. Those they're just back in the never mind. Our other plan was to use the shuttle services that are provided at Bridgetown

Yes, I'm I am truly still exhausted from Bridgetown because I'm elderly.

And I was like beat, so beat from that.

Add to that doing what I did, which is having copious amounts of vodka, not just at the after party but throughout the day. Sure, and I had the best sets probably in my career, and I was drunk for each of them, which does not make me feel good. It's like, oh, I'm good at drunk comedy. That's good. That's what I always wanted. An occupational hazard that actually becomes an ocular occupational.

Need, an ocular ocular issue.

Yes, degeneration simply can't see your retes detached as you do your closing.

Bit because of vodka has replaced my optic nerve. It could happen, It has happened.

But I have to say the medical books you weren't the only one.

It is a party, It's a comedy party weekend. It is everyone so happened.

We appear to be driving through a tense city. Yes, what is I don't like? That makes me say, well that guy is that guy's sweeping? Sometimes people treat the areas outside their tents, like they're like, you know what, things aren't that bad. I'm just gonna sweep and it'll give me a sense of home and I like that when I see it. I'll take what I can get.

What I thought was kind of amazing as someone tagged one of those tents, I'm not even ding.

They're like trying to You're not gonna earn that tent by tagging it.

No nor street crud.

Or an over again overhang? What do you call that overpass? Anyway, the what I was getting at is because of the amount of debauchery I was engaging in and almost getting in fights with lady cops. Yeah, I am having a cleanse right now? Oh good, Yes, i'd say juices and vegetables.

Well before you get into it, though, I was just trying to say everybody was partying in Portlands. It wasn't just me, not in the least, every single person in the dressing rooms and the green rooms. It was either water or beer. There was no It wasn't like I think everyone was very much encouraged to drink all day. And then we'd do these shows where like downstairs there would be a ten man show and upstairs there, so you were it felt like camp.

You know, it was great.

It's really fun.

And some of the shows were right at my hotel. So I'm like, oh, why not be hungover? Yes, all I have to do is stumble to the stage. I don't know. I just realized some things about myself. And I've only been cleansing three days and I feel like a teenager and my hip feels better good. I think I'm filled with acid or metals or vodka, probably the third and I but I feel like it's getting out of me.

That's good.

Well, because liquor is sugar at the end of the day, and I know sugar is bad for you and arthritis, right, and your feelings, yes, so that can that's.

All and my feelings. I mean, I'm gonna admit something to some people that are listening, or to all of the I become a person that gets an unpredictable now with with with the booze. I got kicked out of the after party because there was a long line for using the restroom, and so I went outside. Everyone was

The lady that was checking all the ideas to get into the because up in Oregon, which they I think should have told us beforehand, because I was very rude to several people. They they have to check your ID even if you like they were. They checked Gallagher's ID, yeah, the year before the year I went. It's just a state rule that like they need to see it physically.

I wish they'd hand it back. Thank you. I just want to make sure you really fucking existed.

I want to make sure you weren't some sort of strange nightmare I had because I ate a Brita late at night.

In my defense, you are wearing you are Gallagher, wearing a Gallagher.

Wig and an embroidered Gallagher jack.

This is not the first time a couple comics have let Gallagher get it.

But so that lady cop was one of the many people who were taking their job very seriously.

You had a comedy, a drunken comedy.

Right, no, And once a bunch of drug fueled drunken comics are together, there is no desire or respect for authority. And I'm I the first night though, I do respect police, I really do, and I was she was being sweet, she was like trying to be funny, and I'm like, oh, I like that cop. And then the next night, when she kicked me, I came back and she said, now you can't come in. I'm like, because I'm peeing, or because I said shut up, because I did not know

She saw your text and then guessed with with oh, I'm so excited, and then she sucked in her vape pen right, and that's just lodged in.

Her throat cartoonishly sideways on her neck like a chicken bone.

No, you know what, though, you did your due diligence, like you expressed your your genuine apology and regret.

Which doesn't excuse my behavior. But I but I just wanted to like her to acknowledge Oh yeah, I got it. Yeah, but I guess that's what hey, Chris meant. I think it sounds to me like something got messed up, okay, or she's saying apology not accepted, which I will accept her an exception.

I mean, I bet she's I mean, if she's a cop, which we I mean she is a cop.

I'm not questioning that the way you did.

No.

Well, she had a badge that night that was a different a security company that is hers.

And she also she didn't look like a cop cop Like we know what cops look like when they're standing around doing stuff for an event, and that's really what she looks like. Yeah, the masks, the tanks, yes, the shotguns, yes, but.

She didn't look like that gear a Viking hat.

I'll just say that I was standing on the outside of the dancing circle, as is my way, watching people and judging them and wanting to leave because I can't get drunk anymore, and I'm jealous, but I'm also bored.

Do you think Andy Kindler was drunk when he was dancing.

I think he was loving life.

See you got to get a little that kindler and you.

I don't want to get on the one time.

No, no frightening freeway, Jesus.

Okay, here we go.

What is this wild West? What are we on? Historic Root sixty six? The Romans car, I have a delivery for will Fargo Bank. Yeah, dag a whole market with pine cone that's what they used to do.

Market with a pine cone like just and that's it.

Yeah, that's where that's where they find your their money.

But there's so many pine cones.

You know, As I said that, I think it's an arch market. Joe said that right now. I think he's he literally has a Wells Fargo Bank junk and I kind of did it. But you know what, Yeah, I didn't remember that. The guy didn't remember my name every time I was introduced to him.

So back at you, Arge, Yeah, Arge, that's great.

For you, guy that I look up to a whole lot in your face one of my early heroes.

Oh, that reminds me that the last time we podcasted with the guest, I was telling a story and I kept saying Craig Ferguson, but.

I meant Craig Kilbourne.

Oh it was the ice Cube story with Joe de Rosa, I mean, oh, okay, yeah, ice Cube.

I kept I told the whole story because to me, I think you did say Craig Kilbourne.

Though I re listened to the episode, I kept saying Ferguson Okay.

But I think at one point I said he played basketball and Monte and that is It.

Was like everyone understood me, but I was saying.

The wrong words, right right, Oh that's funny.

But I just wanted to come to it. Sorry.

I just remember, well, I'm glad you did, and I want to comp to something. I hope that in Bridgetown we were during imaginary radio show. We were thrown into a situation where you and I were morning drive time DJs, something that I figured we could handle, yes, and that I would be able to ad lib. And I feel like I was speaking gibberish the whole time.

People so many people came up to me and they loved it.

Yeah, they well, they we've done that before. The people can sense that, yes, here's a level of comfort. Yes, in a show where all the performers kind of have their back against the wall. Yeah, And so that was fun.

It was super fun and I didn't add much. I'd just let you do your thing and then acted.

And so that's between okay, so me treating you like a dumb person and you going oh oh okay, oh oh, shut up, you dummy. I felt uncomfortable, like it was real life.

I feel like, no, we're we're at that place where we can do that.

Okay.

I'm a great and talented actress, and so you were sucked into the character I was playing right now reacting to the truth of her.

Well, I too, am the kind of actor where I go so deep into character method style that I the feelings that that character feels I actually feel for several days. Yes, even though the even though the character is concluded, I still felt bad for treating you like a dumb sidekick.

Well, I still feel dumb, uh.

And not nuts today. You know what, in this podcast, I consider you the top banana.

Do you think I'm number one?

Well, you are listed first, it's do you need to ride with Karen?

And then Chris, Karen and Chris, But that's because you're in a.

Then Chris, I added at then oh you did to the poster posters available soon?

Sorry? Are you seeing all this ship that's on the sidewalk.

We are in the middle of a swap mate, except we were not warned.

And it's just on the sidewalk in East La. So it just looks like everyone took their closets and came and.

Hang them on they did.

If you need a pair of Jenco jeans, come to six them west Lake.

Do you need a striped shirt from Ross it's down here side.

Do you need some oversized pants with embroidery that shows some side of some sort of anthropomorphized animal with a spray can getting ready to tag a wall?

Speaking of which, uh huh? Did you have you yet seen?

Is it time for Tehano break?

I think I think it is?

Yeah, yeah, damn right, I crossed primo. Oh oh they actually said that to that lady. Anyway, I feel like did they notice we were I don't know. I really like that break, the one that was a good break. It's relaxing.

I feel great.

Have you heard Howard Kramer's joke that says a lot of people think it's a Holocaust, but the worst things that German ever did is bring a accordion into Mexico. That's his take on That's Howard Kramer. That's his opinion.

That's yeah, and these opinions not for Mews opinion.

And it's also my opinion that not all Germans are Nazis, for God's sake. I mean, that was a They are as embarrassed about that as we are.

I don't know about that.

Have you talked to it, Yes, they are. You cannot if you will get arrested in Germany if you have a swastika on your arm and probably just stared at in America, you know.

Yes, it's a different thing though, but the entire country basically got joined a cult. Yeah, an entire country joined a cult and killed it everybody in that cult.

And that, yeah, that one country went to war with the entire world, which is quite an undertaking. Let's just say we can all respect their work ethic.

Guys, I.

Hate my new Nazi sympathizer jokes. Well you are.

It's probably has something to do with the cleanse you're on. They're big into cleansing over there.

You know.

Everyone, everyone listening, I just want to say I appreciate you, and I'm right now I'm lightheaded and I don't know what I'm saying because I haven't had my sugar.

Well, do you do you need to get some sugar.

Well, it's not I'm not diabetic. I'm just having a cleanse. I'm the one that said that. Yeah, I just I feel like all I'm having because I am having sugar, I'm eating fruit, and I am e and juicing. I'm not juicing. I did not buy a juicer. I'm not going to become a juicer person. But I am going to a place that serves juice, and then I have a regular meal and then I take a series of herbs.

Oh my god, it's going on.

You guys, I don't know if you've ever visited Los Angeles, but everything is true. Guns are a blazon.

Constantly, which is kind of fun. Makes it fun. But you what was your favorite show? Just a real quick final line.

I had so But yes, this is a bridge Town Bridgetown recap episode, or the bridge Town retap episode where we retap a lot of the dances we did originally go Karen sick enough of that. Oh that one was shorter than our break.

I wish we had more. Tejano breaks.

I guess one of the shows that stands out the most was I Don't my first show that was at a bar and I didn't think was gonna go well, And there is people there watching that I wanted to see me do well. And I had maybe the most fun I've had doing stand up in a while.

And then was that was that person me that you wanted to yes and yes?

And then on the other and then on the other end that just some family members? Oh nice, No, I mean it's all about industry. I'm a business person. ABC was there, Jan Gotta do Conan again. He was there and I could hear his laugh.

The good people at the CW were there.

Oh God, that's singing frog. I hope he knocks on my door again. And and then there was another show where you play you write your own cards against Humanity cards game I've never played, but they pose a question. You have pre written twenty phrases or places or things, and then you have to randomly picked seven of them, and then when they post the question, you have to select from your deck one that fits the best. And I swept shop with that game, and uh, it felt good.

Well because deep down you called for you can improvise, and you're good at stuff like that. But you know what's hilarious is that just reminded me of after you were done with that show. You came over to the show I was doing at the Boston Nova Ballroom, Yes, and we were trying to figure out, oh, maybe this

But you did.

And I'm not sure the level of drunk you were at this point, because you never seemed drunk to me except for right before you got kicked.

Out of that. Yeah, that part it was a cartoon character.

Even when you're drunk, you don't seem like. You don't seem that drunk to me.

But unfortunately, I think because I'm good at it, yes, and that's not something you want to be good at. No one ever thinks I'm drunk until I'm yelling at a lady.

Cop, right, But you did pull out those all of your written cards against humanity and started reading that to me, but out of context, they weren't funny or anything, because it was like you were just decided to stand over me and read phrases.

And I was looking at you like, I don't know what to give you.

Right, I want to support you, and I'm sure you did great, but at the same time, you were just reading phrases.

At me, and I can't laugh.

Yeah, you were supposed to give me a partial question in their statement and then the phrase would apply to it. I thought you just would, yes, and that I mean.

I should have. But I feel like my also, my riffing.

Levels were very large, tired of listening to people talk at me right, and tired of kind of presentationally having conversations.

You had lost your glasses, which were simply under your seat.

I lost my glasses twenty nine times.

They got on the intercom, they're we're looking for a pair of glasses.

I got on my hands and knees like Velma from Scooby Doo and said my glasses like, hey, they're right on you.

I'll do them whenever you want.

I want it all every day.

But here's my favorite thing, and nowhere near that lighthouse.

Sorry, I wanted to do.

Fred Oh we can't go by the lighthouse. It's talented goo goo goo goo goo Google.

But there was so at one point they so they truly only had water and beer as beverages. So of course everyone's while I'd open up a nice tab for dyke coke and that's how I party, which is deeply, deeply tragic to me.

Uh So there was an upstairs bartender.

I don't know if you ever saw that guy who was covered in tattoos and Drennan and I have a song called the y Are just a.

Few dumb Tattoos. Then I think I named everything on his body.

So did he have a bossy devil?

He was everywhere.

He definitely had knuckle tats, and he had lots of different ones, and he was super good looking and.

Generally kind of liked that song. Anyone.

Well, I'll tell you we he came to the rat party and then he ended up giving us a ride back to the DoubleTree Hotel.

Yes, it was like a group of us.

Coincidence, Yeah, I mean like yeah, they were like, oh we got a ride, get into this car and it was him Oh my god. His voice and personality so did not match. Like down here in La when you see a guy like that that's like covered in tattoos and looks like he looked like he was like a sque del rich type, Like that's kind of vague, very good looking, yet you don't know why it might be.

It might be a tough guy, might just be a male model.

Yes, this guy was like he was like a character from like Bottle Rocket, Like the way he spoke.

He was like, I don't know, Leon, it was literally like that.

And I was sitting back say like, wow, this is really like the I mean, I don't want to insult him, but it was just really hilarious to me.

And then when we all got out of the.

His car, it was like three in the morning and I leave at four point thirty to get back to the airport. So I was like running to my room, and but I turned back around to say thanks, and he was like leaned all the way back with the cigarette in his mouth and winked at me.

And it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Oh that's great.

I mean, it is a brag, but at the same time, it was just like, yeah, girl.

And you feel like I had nothing to do with the song. I thought you were gonna say, a nice song, by the fucking way.

No, no, no, no, I think he was very nice. Yeah, you know, I think he was sweet, and I think totally cool people. Yeah, yeah, none of those people, all the people that had tattoos wanted to talk about that song after we did it.

Right, And because there is not a more tattooed city than maybe Austin, I don't know, but Portland is. It's up there, lawyers. And I remember seeing when I moved to Austin, there was a cop with a tattooed sleeved leg a horse cop half half man, half horse. Now he is on a horse, a full man all the way, many all the way horse, two different beings he was on top. Try and guess which one. Anyway, it was

That's right, that's when it was kind of new. It's so common now it's like no one even questions it, right.

Right, it's just how it is.

And in but in Portland, that guy he won't even be a cop, he'll be accountant or a bike curry or something to do with bikes. Usually there's a lot of biking there, which that's another thing. I like la and I'm used to it being my home. But seeing a bike is like seeing a toddler here. It just you have to go to a special area.

That sometimes you're not even allowed in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's but Portland was just so beautiful and people talk about it raining there all the time. Every time I've been there. It's sunny.

Yep, Well it was beautiful when we were there one bridge down it was raining. And I also love there's all kinds of real people.

First of all, we had a bunch of people come and tell us they love the podcast, which was insanely amazing to me.

That made me really happy.

That felt great. Yeah, thank you everyone in Portland who listens to our podcast.

And who told us.

There was one person I meant and I told him, I was like, we kind of feel like we're doing this in a vacuum. So when people actually, like in a different city, its people that aren't our friends or other comics or whatever in a different city, like, oh, I love the podcast. It it's so touching. It's like, oh, we're not just you know, insane narcissists talking to ourselves. Car like somebody gives a shit.

Yeah, we don't have a way to gauge that because we're not creating income quite yet, but we will. We're figuring it out someday. I'm gonna someday soon I'm making mugs.

We're gonna Oh yeah, I love those mugs.

Well, yeah, well I might work on them a little. I want I might include the Uh well, we'll talk about okay, but we're gonna have some merch and then I think that, uh, you know, we're gonna have sponsors very soon. If you're someone that likes to sponsor podcasts, some wealthy guys sitting on a pile of gold coins right now because you're tired of swimming in them and

I have no idea.

Fifty I don't know we'll figure don't go.

Down once you establish well, only up, only out, okay, okay, two hundred.

Yeah, take it slow. Yeah, don't make anybody feel weird.

No, no, certainly not. And tonight we're doing another show where we're going to fly by the seat of our pants a little. As far as I understand it, I will be doing improvised stand up projected topics YEP or names of jokes or whatever, and I do stand up for the first time based on that, and then an improv group comes and does improvised versions of what I was talking about, and then then what and then I do stand up about that. Where do you guys come in?

I don't know.

Third or fourth we improvise a song, okay, and I guess based on what everyone else has been doing.

Okay, and Drennon will make me rap. Yes, that can I'll be uncomfortable.

That's perfect, that's good times.

It is it will be good times. It's there's something to be said for these shows that scare you, you know, like where you're doing something foreign and like the imaginary radio thing. My back was sweating, yes, but I knew it would be fun and I knew it's something I should do to myself.

Yes, for sure, Well because people like it, people like to watch you sweat, people like I think people were enjoying you and I not knowing what we were doing and yet continuing to do it.

I'm like, where are we getting such big laughs?

Yeah, because I think it was just like you're you were clearly being a person that you never are, and so it was like the insanity of that wash.

Being a mean radio DJ. And then the channel would switch and then very confident Rastafarian white guy. Those are two people I am not, Yes, and but what a great combination, yeah, in one person.

Like chicken and waffles.

Every restaurant we went to in Portland offered some version of chicken and waffles.

Why it's the food so great.

There because people give a shit. The food is great, The people are cool.

I like the fact that everyone looked normal, Like you live in LA for so long and you're used to models everywhere, both male and female, and you go to a place like Portland and you see normal people in relationships, normal people hanging out, and it's like the most calm.

I suddenly go like, oh I'm not I'm not Shrek. This is wonderful news oh, for.

Good, but I haven't.

I haven't left town in like a year. I forgot to remind myself to stop hating myself.

You're that's I hate. I'll give you a pep talk, Okay, was that it? Whenever you need it? Yeah, I mean let's start slow and work our way slowly to actual where it's. I know exactly what you're saying, though, because when I was important, or when I'm in Wisconsin or whatever one of the many cities I go to without perfect people, I look at everyone and I'd like, here, there's just beautiful, chiseled model people everywhere, and I really don't notice them anymore. I swear I don't have kind

Yes, yeah, and open, Yes they're open and smiling, yeah with a nice light gravy. Yeah, it's an open face.

Its weird, open faced with a side of mash. And I'm just describing their physical Okay, we're pulling over. Are we getting under arrest? Getting under arrest.

No, no, no, I want to well, because we have to go to that show.

You're right, let's do it.

Let's and I want to go and make you go get a coffee with me before we Okay, let's do it so we can wrap in.

This can be a shorter episode if you want.

Well, why how long have we done?

About thirty four minutes in counting?

We can't do it up till showtime.

No, we certainly can't. I have to do some uploading.

Oh that's right, Yeah, we have things we have to do.

Yeah, this is a real behind the scenes episode. And if you haven't caught on yet, we do not have a guest today.

This more of the episode to say we're sorry we missed you last week. We're getting our gat together.

We're gonna get our s to g and we're not going anywhere. Yeah, and for those of you that panicked, this is also we were planning on doing a fan appreciation thing, but that would require me to actually do a little homework, which you know me and.

Homework, dude, we're exactly the same way.

I'm like, I feel like you know me and Ziggy when it comes to homework. I think it causes pimples. That's a very specific Ziggie trapper keeper I had, if.

You I had a book bag in literally in third grade, and it said it had a picture of like it looked like a principal's door, and it said Board of Education spelled b O R E D.

And I got that as a gift.

And I remember being like nine and thinking like, I don't think this is an appropriate gift.

For a child that's still in school. Like my mom thought it was funny, but I was like, shouldn't I not be bored of education?

That's that's the best. I like it. I like it when parents let their kids wear stuff like that.

Yeah.

I want to thank some guests that have been well. Twitter is the only way to know. If you don't follow either of us on Twitter, follow me or Karen. I'm at Chris Fairbanks dot com and Karen.

Is at the I'm at Pizza Nacho's one hundred big.

Yes, she's at pizzapuke dot.

Org and always pizza or nachos or the word sixty nine.

I want to thank Gabe for listening. Is at the in DG. I don't know what that means in DG. Talk to him if you want. Debbie Wiseman, she's w.

L f M.

She also does the uh the uh. I think she does something for never not notes, never not funny nice and and also a walking dead thing and uh and I'm real good at this. Vincent Lombardi, he's often saying, Hello.

Vince Lombardi, the great, the great football coach.

Yes, yeah, I thought he was a race car driver either way.

Great guy either way, Thank you so much.

Kevin W. Young as always, of course, Kevin with us is my biggest flirt. Actually he actually is throws flirts my way. Yep, yep.

That's got to feel good as a man, it does.

Come on, look at this confidence gleaming off of me. Who uh and who's our other? I don't know, I'm bad at I see again I should have wrote these down, but maybe this is one of those times. Tyler Tyler, he was in Portland. Tyler, he has for a that Tyler guy. He likes us. Thanks Tyler Tyler. Yeah yeah, and uh, well, there's so many they're important people.

I mean, shoot, there was someone that I met I think it was at the North Hall show that I talked to after the show. Sorry I can't remember your name, but you were super nice and you were very complimentary.

Wait, I think that was that Tyler guy?

Was that Tyler? Yeah?

Okay, cool? He was like selling merk.

I can't remember.

I don't know either.

Also, we had a couple of people. I had a couple of people who were drivers at Bridgetown.

Who let me know that they like, we could go all day. Sound this is like brag time.

Of course, we can't forget.

With us.

Swolled neck muscles, got some lats, he and built, he's got some calves, he's got some trips, some steps, some Yes.

What if it turned out that he just has neck muscles and the rest of him is like a warm body with a guy from Freaks?

Oh oh, that would be amazing.

He would move up to our number one.

I think, yeah, yeah.

In terms of just.

Send us a full body pick our dreams come true, Nicky, send us.

A full body pickle, our dreams come to nick that's your wrap for tonight.

A wickedy wick wicked wick wick wick. Drive to a bar and you don't get far. That's There's that. That Blondie song is so good until she raps Hey did I ever tell you? He's the beginning started?

I have an anecdote about that story about that song when I was when I was young, I was in the car with my sister and my mom and that song came on the radio.

And when that I was.

Sitting in the back seat, which was my sister and I we constantly fought or who was going to be in the front seat.

Even though you were both in the back, just for the future of one of you being in the front. You fought over that.

What No, she was in the front seat.

Okay, So I was in the back pouting because I didn't get the front. And then when the wrap part of that song came on, I leaned forward and stuck my head between I mean, my mom's seat in my sister's seat, and I just did the entire wrap word for word, and they my sister almost wet her pants.

She was laughing so hard, and they both my mom kept going, how do you know this? How do you know this? Karen? And I just did every I wouldn't stop rapping. It was pretty hilarious.

That's the best.

Although that rap is truly one of the worst raps of all time.

I think it is. I it is the worst.

But you get in your car and you drive real far, and you drive all night, even see a light and she just right down. It lands on the ground and out comes a man.

She even mentioned something about Fab five Freddy. Yeah, not Fab five Freddy. They o MTV raps VJ.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I think there's a maybe it is. I don't know. I think there's too.

She's definitely referencing old school rap people, sugar Hill Gang Style.

No, that was him. I'm thinking there's another doctor Dre. Never mind Doctor Dre. There was a doctor Dre that hosted with that lover and it wasn't art Doctor never No, and he just went ahead and stayed Doctor Dre. It's like, whoa way to get almost you know, you don't want to piss off n w A No. Have you listened to their lyrics?

Are you crazy?

If you want to, you know, be a hip hop broadcast journalist, maybe you know, get a new handle. That's what I always used to say. Well, sorry, I hope we didn't come off as spazzy or or I was a little too talky today and unprepared. I know a lot of people like, uh, you know format and uh, you know different sections of a podcast. Now, if that's what you're looking for, go somewhere else and uh get.

Too bad.

Yeah, why don't you grab a newspaper and uh look at the roll it up and stick it in your ass. That's what it's gonna say. Sorry, Well, this has been one of my worst episodes. I think it's strong, but I'm gonna apologe No, let me do this, Karen. Well, I'm sorry to everyone for my disjoined thoughts and a lot of my words not stringing together correctly. Karen, what do you want to apologize for.

I feel like that's what people come for.

Yeah, I got Oh I wish they liked it that much. Well, this has been good.

Look, this has been great.

Here's the thing. It was like, we we went way off the rails. We didn't do a podcast crazy train. We're coming on back back on the train, and we're on the crazy train again. But it's you know, there's a sloppy mid section where we have to just get our shit back together.

Yeah, well that's sloppy mid section. It's the reason I'm on a cleanse. Hey, Giggley, back fat, you're my fred Ooh Hey there, your dog's got a nice boner. I wonder why that dog has a boner what he loves walking. That's so much he loves walking. Who doesn't And that dog's boner is how much we love podcasting you've been listening to Do you Need a Ryde d y A R

M h I