Ep. 49 - Drennon Davis & Karen Kilgariff

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. You give us time and a germanol and gay a.

We want to send.

You off InStyle.

You wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Now?

Porn? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

Damn ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks at LAX. I'm alone in the car currently I am picking up my co host Karen Kilgariff and our guest Drennan Davis. They are fresh off a plane, freshly, they're brand new off a plane from Austin, Texas for, of course, the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. I say, of course, because why else would you be in Austin except for the Turkey trot popular ten k Race or

The second is Turkey trot.

Picking them up at Southwest Terminal one Southwest of course, proud sponsor of do you need a ride? I'm taking right. My sunglasses are in the way. In the past, I've had trouble driving and podcasting. I feel comfortable today. I've had plenty of coffee. I have spotted them. I thought that was them. There they are here they are Karen walking over. She has a tote bag. Drennan walking slowly behind. It looks like they've been fighting.

I have sorry, there we go. Hey, what's up?

How was it good?

How are you you look tall? Byron Bowers.

Byron Bowers surprise guest from across the terminal road on the UNI ride. Hi, Hi there, Hi, Yeah, I just put that hangar in there for you can fling that.

Thank you.

Hi everybody, Hi Chris, Hello yourself?

The whole year, No, I I just started as I rounded the bend. Oh, so, just to recap so far, I said, you're freshly. I wasn't sure if all this was true. Either you're picked back from Austin because of Moon Tower, or I said the.

Ten k Race the Turkey trot or or your you stayed too long for yourself by Southwest.

Yeah, there's a little bit of truth in all that.

I think but you you guys were there for do you need it or do you need Do you need a festival for moontower?

I do need a festival?

How was it?

It was so much fun?

It was great. It was super fun.

I would love to go.

Yeah, you should definitely go.

It's all. It's just a matter.

It's like when my family goes, why aren't you on at midnight?

Not everything in life is up to us.

That's exactly right.

I somehow wronged that festival we're promoting it.

I'm sure it's fun. I'm sure you guys had a great time, But the secondary topic is why am I banned from it?

I think it's that's always the secondary topic, isn't it?

It always?

Yeahs right?

I am and a guy when you're in Austin, like they like, I'm from San Francisco and I feel like San Francisco is like they'll always look at me as like the freshman because that's where I started.

Do you feel like yeah?

I think that you never outgrow the you were in when you left.

And also I think when they put those festivals together, it's always like who are the.

Big names and the draw names?

And then da da da, and then everything else kind of trickles down after. So they're looking for like people on TV shows and like the big fancy people. Yeah, then everything else is maybe secondary.

I guess that is true.

But I always can look at a lineup and see that it isn't a bunch of famous people, So it's hard to not take it personally.

I was.

I'm just saying the order of which it's not like they go in for, like do.

You work for Moontower? No care.

I'm just trying to make it so that it's not always you know what, I had two hours of sleep last night, okay, and so that's it's post festival exhaustion. But we had a really good time. It was super fun, really good shows, really good audiences. Our host on the show that we did last night at the Vulcan Theater was Matt Bearden, who who knew you and was very nice about you, and then after our set gave this really sweet plug for this podcast told everyone to listen to it.

So Matt is he's he's the best.

Yes, I started with him. He was support of the moment I started in Austin, and he's terrific.

Yeah, he was really nice.

It's nice to meet him too. He is very funny.

Austin people were really funny.

He was on Austin Stories with Chip Pope and Howard Kramer.

Oh really, Yeah, he looked.

Like he was twelve, but he was one of the original cast members and a regular.

On that show. Oh wow.

Yeah, you wouldn't recognize You would recognize him more now than in the past few years. He was like had a beard and looked different. He's he's back to his youthful look.

He's very young.

So you watch an episode of Austin Stories available on YouTube, I believe the whole season, you can see Matt beard Nice with his twelve year old face.

He looks so young, but he's great.

He like curates a pretty cool comedy scene in Austin that maybe would have gone away if he didn't take hold of.

The rain Nice.

Yeah, he's great. He's important to Austin Mad Beard.

And he's a big fan of yours and he's a big fan of this podcast. One of the first things he said to me when we met, which was kind of exciting, because it sometimes feels like you and I are talking into two soup cans with a piece of string between it.

Because that in the beginning before we got the Zoom six. That's what that is exactly what we did.

That's that's what we trained on. So, yeah, it was really humid in Austin. Yeah, it was like South Florida humid the entire time. E stuff for yesterday, which was very upsetting to Grandma Kilgariff.

I did not like it at all.

No, the moment I moved there, up until the moment I laughed. For five years, I had a wet afro. I never was able to dry my hair, and it really is.

Your hair stays wet there all day.

Yeah, I see, I didn't know that. I thought Austin would be dry heat.

It doesn't make sense. It's in the middle of the state. Of course, Houston is much more humid. But yeah, by the yeah, yeah, oh should I have not I'm gonna go this.

Way, Yeah, because we're basically going downtown.

But I don't know why it's so humid there, but maybe just compared to hear But it doesn't make sense here we're by an ocean.

That's right. Well, and also I think Drennen did the same thing.

I didn't bring any of the right clothes, so I ended up wearing I looked like an abandoned child the entire time.

It was pretty great.

It was, and then I just was like, who cared? I really fit in on Sixth Street. Well we'll just say it that way.

Yes, was the festival on Sixth Street.

Some of them were, Yeah, there was like the Parish.

I don't know if that was around when you were there.

No, it wasn't.

And then there was it was either a lot of them were either on sixth or Congress.

Okay, yeah, we did perish with Todd Berry the first night, fun, super fun. I think we we were a good match with Todd Berry because we're like a music act. Yeah, Todd Berry is Todd Berry. So it was kind of like that perfect. I think the audience liked it a lot. And then I don't remember what else happened.

What else?

We had a second show that night, Google Fiber.

Google Fiber Show.

Oh Google is the Google Fiber is the the return of fiber optics?

Isn't it?

Is?

It is? It has something to do with.

Which they're bringing back fiber optics in a big way, I think.

I think so, I really do think it's I don't know how they're using it differently, but it's as higher speedier innerweb.

Well, this room was like set up as if we wanted to have a conference about you know, sexual harassment in the workplace. That's like it was very corporate technical, you know, those kind of plastic chairs and then like a wide stage and a big Google on the background, and it was just bizarre. To do comedy in this room was super weird.

Didn't it seem like you were in a scene from Silicon Valley.

Yes, it was totally tech crunch. It was totally like that. And then we that show Andy it was Andy Killer show. He hosted and just destroyed, like of course the audiences were awesome, so he destroyed. Then Dana came out first and destroyed, and then Blaine came out and like the room exploded, and then we came out and it was like golf applause. Uh, So we were like, let's never look at the Google Fiber room again. It was it was not It was fine, it was not yell at me on my own pocket.

Was fine.

It was good, but it was like.

I honestly thought the way it was going that we were going to like have people on their feet and instead of it may have been like you know, hilarity fatigue.

I hate that's a problem with comedy.

When the show is going great and everyone's like, oh man, that audience nobody can do wrong. At this point, they are primed and I know I'm gonna eat it.

Yeah.

I only the only time I impress everyone is when the audience is shitty and there's a bunch of mustached guys with no sleeves and they're they're being silent.

That's when I that's when.

I do well, That's when you do your thing.

It's so hard to follow a bunch of people killing yeah.

Well, and also just those those guys are like, I mean, they're just legends.

So yeah, sounds so fun though.

That was super fun. Then then next night we did.

For me my favorite joke I've ever done, which it was at the Paramount Theater we opened for Patent.

Oh.

Yeah, that was incredible.

Yeah, with Brian Garr and Mike McCrae and that show. It was like, have you been in the Paramount?

Obviously I opened for Judy Tanuda there. Yes, it's just a big.

Huge, old fashioned theater where the balcony is close to the stage in a weird way, so it's very intimate and it was just like and also for us, the acoustics, like the music set up was magical. It was like the best you know sound system you could.

Possibly play on.

Yeah, yeah, because it's it's just one of those classic old beautiful theaters.

Yeah right, it's really pretty. It's it's run down at all.

They shoot a lot of specials there.

Yeah, it was beautiful.

That sounds amazing.

That was super fun.

Right, and then we did Tom Papa Show, which is also real, real fun.

Yeah that was great.

Wow.

Yeah, there was great comics at that festival. Yeah, that sounds amazing. Yeah, well did you was there any possibility of doing anything other than festival stuff or you guys like me where you just hang out in the hotel room because hotel rooms are terrific.

No, we did that. We watched uh, we watched The New x Men on HBO.

Right, well, why wouldn't you in the hotel room? Yeah?

Yeah, oh yeah, last night we watched Godzilla.

Yeah, my boyfriend got.

Ride in your bike past houses. It shouldn't be like a cave.

Well, it's where you live. I keep saying, I don't know where you live. I'd like to see where you.

Live, right, where you live. It's just where you live, not a house, right would be?

A Godzilla house would be it's so big, where would it?

Yeah, you have to be some kind of large Japanese pagoda of some kind.

Right, hugest front door you've ever seen.

He lives with a bunch of monks. Son.

He lives where they trained bad Man. Yes, yeah, of course.

He lives in the mountain and they live on top of the mountain.

I don't know why I said cave.

It's funny how sometimes you confuse Godzilla for just a regular dragon, and then you confuse a dragon for a dinosaur, and you're like, well, they haven't seen Godzilla since Adam and Eve.

You know, it all gets very confused.

Great is if we could have some kind of like then diagram. Oh, I'm going to be bad on this. It's already so bad.

Do you think I was about to say then diagram?

Do you think I had that in my wheelhouse?

It's we are allowed to be confused right now because Godzilla is a dragon faced dinosaur. He's got the body of a dinosaur ye and a dragon head.

So how the hell are tiny cute precious head it damn right? We need to kind of like big, nice, big thighs. Oh God, just got some meaty thighs.

Has so many squats, the shortest ORMs you've ever seen.

Yeah, and the eyes of a child.

Yeah, just youthful innocence only to be found in a human child.

I mean, how could you not love him?

I don't know why everybody doesn't have a song about loving him.

Are you guys feeling like you're gonna go home and just sleep all day?

Yes?

I'm so beat?

Yeah, yes, where I don't know if you guys ever give this week? You're like so tired, you're almost like stick to your stomach.

That's exactly how I feel.

Yeah yeah wow.

And also the flight was hot, Like I Southwest.

Always seems like a good idea when you go to price the ticket, it's cheaper.

Yeah, it's cheap, and they tell jokes for they use.

I love comedy. Yeah, they have a lot of comedy.

But then once you're on it, on those shitty like beige and rust colored seats, and everything feels scaled down and you feel like, you know, like when a giant drinks out of a teacup type of feeling.

But you're in a seat and it just is terrible.

Yeah, Southwest, of course, sponsor of do you need a ride, please mention that earlier.

When you're flying in the air, consider Southwest.

Consider a rusty seat for your ass bucket.

Consider all the cheapest people in the world to share your trip with.

Yeah, you know, sometimes when you're sitting there before the flight takes off, that that wet, hot air coming out of that little hole that you can only twist didn't lessen the hot air, but it'll once you take off, it kicks in and like air conditioning, and you're like, all right now we're talking.

Yep, except didn't kick in until the last ten minutes of this flight. So I just kept I was the person, you know, you always see that person on the plane that just keeps reaching up and touching that nozzle.

I just would reach up and touch it.

Everyone like, maybe if I turn it a little bit this way, don't I'll not want to barf on my own lap. I mean, there's a lot of complaining going on. I'm so grateful for the life that I have.

Yes, yes, well, there's always times where you can express not being grateful. We can get tired of life. It's okay, it doesn't mean you're suicidal.

Great, because if I am, you have to tell me.

I will tell you if you reach that.

Okay, good break, good good.

But well, for now it's just simple life complaining. I don't I'm you guys can spill your gut.

Oh I'm so tired, Chris, tell me.

What else? Oh? Well, I I feel like I ate strictly chicken and waffles.

On the strepo where we went, every restaurant had a specialty chicken, chicken and waffles dish.

Really, it's almost like.

The new mac and cheese, you know how Like for a while that it was like you'd go to a fancy restaurant, you'd be like, well, I have to try the.

Magazine and then poutine, it seemed for a while with sweeping the nation, even outside of Portland, yeah, and Canadia.

But now chicken because the chicken.

And waffles, I'd never even I would ask people to repeat it. When I would come to La, they're like, oh, you've never had Roscoes chicken and waffles.

Like no, it's just two great things together.

And it's an excuse to put syrup on chicken, which you have the right to do anyway, but.

That's why I've never been. I do not like to get a normal dish. I don't know why. I always use meat.

Loaf as an example of a of a fifties American dinner, and then.

Put sugar on it.

I don't.

I don't want to dip. I don't want my ice cream to accidentally touch.

My I feel.

But you could think of it. Bacon, Yeah, you can put You could put gravy on your waffle. That's what I did, and they had this like amazing like butter, bacon gravy.

Oh yeah, that's right.

So that's why is that sounds good?

So if something that exists as sweet, I do like the idea of adding something salty to it.

The other way around, No, thank you.

Yeah, that's not really my thing either.

The other way around is a little gross. Although I think I like I like it because well.

Just something about it works. I don't know what it is for chicken and waffle specifically. I can't think of.

Another combination that I would do that with, like pizza and her she's juggled throup.

I think one time, as a kid, I saw my grandpa purposefully pour syrup on chicken and I or bacon. He would dip his bacon. You have a thing of bacon, and well, I mean, ask me if the guy's alive.

Oh is he lying?

No, No, he's dead.

I mean everyone's grandpa's dead. It a certain point, right, I mean, that's just what happened. Yes, I'm a forty year old man. Of course, my grandpa's tits up. Okay, I watched him do that. I watched him dip the man i'd made me mad. Maybe it's not the bacon. Maybe it's the way he raised my mom. But I just don't.

I don't.

That is what I have against chicken and waffles. Yeah, dude, if someone's like, oh, whoops, did that syrup get on my chicken again? You did it on purpose and abusive, and you made your you made your daughter a timid mother.

I like this digging into stuff.

Yeah, goddamn right, digging into my grandpa. Dig in who's so cheap that they reused their catheters?

No, all right, let's talk about something. There's a new phone number you can call. They will ship new ones.

Yeah, you never have to reuse those. Please remember that, our audience.

Especially, please, I know a lot of you out there are causing needless ladder infections and.

Then even worse. Don't reuse your catheters.

There's a clinic you can pick up new ones.

Yes, listen to Wilford Brigley.

Please to watch late night television. There's commercials everywhere for this.

Everyone's proposed to have catheter fever.

They are advertising so many different ways to acquire catheters. Yeah, and I think maybe it's because people are doing their own catheters.

It's expensive to just always go to the hospital.

Then, but why are so many people needing to be catheterized?

Is what I'd like?

I like that word. Should I get on the tent? That's what I'd like to do.

Yeah, yeah, I think it's just kind of a cure. All drendon you know about this, right? Yeah?

Why do people get tubes in their urethraism?

It's usually some kind of well I know that my dad had to have one during cancer. I think it's usually just when you're having surgery, you know, like you have to Yeah, I don't.

Know, because you can't be here.

And now I feel this whole time with the catheter comedy, I wasn't making light of your dad's Oh god, I took my eyes.

Off the road.

Yeah, don't try to make up now. You can talk about it later. I don't I.

Okays to deal with trans vaginal.

Mesh because I'm sorry what.

I don't even mesh mesh?

Have you ever seen those commercials for people who is trans vaginal mesh operations have gone awry and make it too?

Yeah, that's the new thing too.

Yeah, that's a type of lawyer that just deals in uh in transvaginal mesh.

Not to be mistaken for a mesothelio a lawyer.

So it's when I got so, that's when like a guy wants to become a woman, but they mess it up.

I think, No, No, the mesh has nothing it's nothing to do with transgender.

No, it's it has to do with women's pelvic floors falling out.

Oh my god, I think.

Or at least that's to me. That's the most fun reason.

And the mesh is like a screen door for your yours.

It's like a little hammock that'll keep all your business up, yeah and kill you at the same time.

Right, it kills you of something else while solving another problem. That's that's the issue with a lot of these these medical malpractice lawsuits. They're doing their job, but they also happen to cause your eyeballs to melter something terrible.

Yeah, it's like all those medicines that you see the advertisements for and it's like side effects include you have its full on nervous breakdown, stab your family.

So many things are bleeding, but no more plelexrisis.

Yeah exactly.

I went to the dentist. You guys, when's the last time you guys went to a dinnist.

I don't want to talk about that experience.

I I loved it. It was painful. It was a painful experience, but I all I'm doing is tongueing.

My teeth clean and slick.

Yes they're clean, and but a deep cleaning like in my gums.

They went to town and I feel great, that's good.

There's gaps and I can breathe with my teak mouth clothes. I guess I had quite a build up of tartar. But now, I mean, look at these guys, A little white, really good and.

I just had coffee. It feels great, so smooth, it looks really good. I'm just saying, just go to that down. If it's been three years, like with me.

Let's go okay. Well, because I need to Chris.

I've been showing your film to a lot of people lately.

Low Cocktails and dreams.

I think I heard people talk about cocktails and dreams at one but some kind of a gathering.

It's pretty good.

Thank you.

Yeah, people love it.

A cool thing happened this weekend.

And because I've heard of Opie and Anthony show, I guess Anthony got fired.

Yes, OPI and Jim Norton, who was a regular guest on it. They Bert Kreischer, who I haven't talked.

To in years, but we were on a show together, a reality type show. He just brought it up and then they watched it on the radio show and you can just hear the audio of them watching it and laughing and then a lot that really caused a spike.

So yeah, because that they have a huge audience.

It's like a serious, serious audience with an eye with an eye get it.

Oh, I should write commercials. You will, but yeah, you will one day. Don't worry.

Don't worry.

But yeah, that thank you, and thank you Bert Kreischer.

And thank you.

And I always heard Bert Kreischer's name. I've never seen him perform. I always thought it was a sketch group, because the remember that sketch group.

No, I think they were.

From like the nineties.

Okay, I don't know it all. He is.

Someone that because we on this it was kind of a fake reality show had like him and and uh Theova and some other Amy Schumer before she became a wildly famous person, and we each episode was like a spoof of a different reality show.

We had to gain weight on one I think it was he was the host. Yeah, and he was great.

But Bert, when you're in the room with him, he just he's got one of those voices that just reaches a different like dogs and horses line up outside, and he's got all these stories and then and but one of them was that that there was an article written about him in Rolling Stone, which then someone wrote a script about and that was that Van Wilder movie that really Yeah, the Van Wilder is about Bert Kreischer in college.

Wow.

Yeah.

So he was like a he made party starting, starting parties, not unlike Darren Carter the parties, the.

Party Starter, Party started. Darren Carter, Party Start.

I had to follow him at the improv so many times and eat it so many times.

Well, you can't follow Darren Carter the party starters. I think he is.

That's why they call me Chris Fairbanks the party stopper.

Yeah, because of my experiences after Darren Carter party starter.

I'm Karen Cougive the place where you put your purse down at the party.

Chris Fairbanks the coat bed.

Uh yeah, it's uh. He he made a I guess Berg Krescher made a business of starting parties in college.

So there was a movie.

Called Van Wilder that none of us saw, but it was a National Lampoon vehicle.

I remember the poster.

Yeah, yeah, standing on top of a pile of women planting a flag into their backs.

Yeah.

I think everyone remembers that poster because it's like, Wow, look at this ripped guy.

There's no way he could be funny.

And it's Ryan Reynolds, right. Yeah, he was very funny.

Yeah, he is very funny, but you know what I mean though, with comedy and muscles. Yes, it's called the Joe Piscopal factor or loop for Igno.

If you liked his early.

Stand up, I don't know. I didn't understand a lot of his early stand up.

For yeah, especially since it was pre Hulk. But during his set, his catchphrase was you wouldn't like.

Me when I'm angry, and it's like, why not?

Yeah, I don't understand the problem.

You have to tell us who you are.

For you'll see.

You'll see six years on CBS.

When I was a kid, my sister and I would play The Hulk and out of boredom.

We didn't have a lot of toys. Sure, so I just walk in the hallway like I was hitch hiking.

And forlorn, and I had the little bank bag that I would sling over my shoulder, and then my sister would yell or throw something at me, like a pillow, and then I'd just turned to the Hulk.

And that was pretty much how the game comes cleared.

An amazing game.

This sportsmanship involved it was, I mean, she had to throw a thing.

She made up a game so she could throw shit at your head.

You're right, And you.

Were like, oh, this is so fun. This sounds like everything me and my sister.

Sometimes it wasn't a pillow, It was like a dry flower arrangement at her.

Did you ever play restaurant where you just go get your sister's ship and bring it to her room?

God damn it. I always played restaurant.

We played a game called get Go Get some Mustard where at a at a pizza place because she was embarrassed that she put mustard on her crusts? Did she it makes it like a pretzel?

Sure? Sure, that was her reasoning.

I've done it as an adult and it does not taste like a pretzel.

It just to put mustard on.

If you dip your finger and mustard, it doesn't turn into a pretzel finger.

Do you ever do that thing when you were a kid, where you make up things, you say you like it just because you're trying to somehow establish a personality separate from everyone else in your family.

You're like, this is the thing I like.

I can think of the opposite where I knew someone who just to stand out. He said he had never tried salsa before and had the balls to say, this is my first time having salsa. And he was in his late twenties. Oh, like, I don't believe you. Yeah, I do not believe this is the first time you tried.

No way, you are a liar. You weaid one time? Thank you? Yeah?

Yes, I I don't know why we played the Hulk in the Halmet. I think it was the my You know, my dad my toys early growing up.

I mean we weren't we. I guess we're poor. I don't know, but he.

Would he would cut up two by fours and sand them. And so I just had these pieces of wood. They were blocks. They were handmade blocks. People yeah and rich and yeah, and some maybe their dad made. And my mom just gave me the empty phronsie of bags, which are kind alarm balloon. Yeah circle. They just gave me catheters and my balloons to play with.

Let's order your children's Christmas catheters early this year.

It makes a great stocking stuffer. Yeah. Did you guys? Did you guys have toys? I didn't have toys.

I had so many toys.

Yeah you too.

Really.

I was very into he Man and comorals.

I invited friends over.

I made friends with this kid Chad when I was little, because he had all the masters of the universe, all the dolls.

You wanted to get your hands on my never.

Yes and twist their torso and snap it back inside them, and I dismantled a few. They just had a black rubber band that connected their torso to their legs, and so you would they would just snap back.

Sorry. I had to back that out.

And almost crashed because of my man at arms impression. You could detach their arms and like you could a guy with blue arms put it on.

He man all of a sudden, he has blue arms.

Oh you were supposed to like it. Wasn't you just attaching it?

They demand that you do it.

And their faces were made of rubber and you could squeeze their faces and they're like.

I'm he man, but I'm grumpy and you pleeze there.

I never owned the doll, but I had so much experience with it.

Did you have Castle grays goold drydon?

I think I did? Yeah?

You rich kids?

You were rich?

Well, No, I didn't have the other one.

The other the bad guy one, the skeletor like it had like a microphone. I think you could talk into and it sound creepy. Oh wow, do you remember that?

I barely do. I know that. There was a commercial where they get Away from My Castle. Yeah, but it's not the kid's voice.

I loved those commercials voice modifier.

I was watching a bunch on YouTube, and it's just the kids would get so into them, you know, and they do the voices. I don't know if they still do this kind of stuff for the commercials, but it was just great.

There's a show in Denver and I wish I could remember the name of it, but you mystery science theater style as comics, sit there and watch all these old cartoon clips and commercials for that played during cartoons, for toys and for cereals, all these.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's the best.

And it is so.

Not only do you is it fun to just make up joke because so much of it was familiar. I realized I already was yelling things at the TV during this this tooth breat this tooth based commercial.

Is what you want? Okay, thanks, because it was all in your memory.

It was.

It was the one of the things that's so fun about watching an old uh okay, old television, it's the commercials. Like when you're watching an old VHS of Rudolph during Christmas. The best part is like seeing these old commercials. Okay, yeah, I love old commercials.

It's the funnest totally.

Sometimes I just like, I'll just eat my breakfast and just watch, like, because there's a bunch of YouTubers.

Just compile lists of them so you can just like watch a list.

I've been meaning to look because I do.

It is the honest thing in the world to watch commercials from the eighties.

There's also we for a little while. There's one job I had.

We were watching commercials from the sixties and seventies, and there was a commercial for uh it was I think I coke or or something like you.

No, it was like tab and it was this whole story.

It was almost like a short film about this woman and it was like make yourself.

Uh what was it?

Shit, It's it's like they made up a word like drink tab and make yourself beautiful so that when your husband comes home from.

Work he wants to fuck you.

I swear to God, and it's like this woman in her whole day and then at the end, the husband comes in and she's like standing on the stairs.

It's so hilarious.

Yeah, the most ridiculous ones from back then were for pop for soda, Like they have babies drinking Coca cola helps the teeth come in.

It's it's absolutely not immediate.

It's extraction of Oh, we're pulling up to the restaurant.

The restaurant time.

I love that look at the tent.

What they really did use your driveway?

My god.

So there's a Mexican family that lives next to us. It's about there's about twenty five of them there, and they like to have a lot of parties. They like to do like karaoke out on the street, and so we're really their only neighbors to like, you know, they'll be like, hey, can we use your driveway sometimes to you know, do I didn't realize I had a tent out there. That's incredibly like actually set up a tent in our driveway and I guess they went until about four in the morning.

So I'm sure like a whole family of people. My poor roommate's very yeah, but I.

Love I love that when you'll like go to a park on a weekend and it seems like Latino families do this where they'll just fucking rent to bounce houses.

Oh yeah, that's the best.

And it's not like they're rich. They're just like, no, then we are going to have.

A party and the kids are the focus.

Of it, and they just have giant bounce houses.

Well, and if you get a bounce house, you don't have to worry about the kids all day because you're they're taking care of that's like a big rubber babysitter.

Just Scott for yourself. But what I love about his neighbors is they do they do karaoke outside side.

And here's the thing. Other thing about karaoke. All you need is a phone nowadays, you don't need a giant thing to wheel out there, and you know, because you just YouTube and yeah, yeah's for anything. But these guys need to blare it.

They have a big machine, they have a big karaoke machine and they do it family karaoke in the street.

Yeah.

I mean it sounds like you guys are sort of complaining about it, but I want to go to their party.

Oh, you know, they're great and they take care of us. They you know, give us Tomali's and.

Yeah Tomally isn't just a frivolage. You have to it takes like a wee to make to Molly's because it's like it's not it's micro No, no, it is for holidays and and big parties, bounce house events only to Molly's because you have to, like you know, there's so many stages to the preparation.

Yeah, and you have to get those corn husks.

Oh, the Husks where you get those, well you have to shuck it off the short Oh yeah, that's that always bothered me about when I got to Nebraska and they they everyone's like talking about the corn Huskers. You Husk, you shuck the Husk. You're not a Husker, you're a shucker of the Husk. So it should be corn shuckers.

Is that too much like corn fuckers?

Maybe it is maybe early on when they did tested, like, because I'm sure they have test basketball games.

When they launch a new I they.

The focus group, okay, and they get someone from every country in the world to come and watch the basketball game.

But sometimes what do you think it sounded like?

And I'm sorry, it sounded like they're saying corn fuckers?

Yeah, oh okay.

Well I liked it. No, I didn't like it. And I'm from Finland.

Well you know my least favorite. And I know once we get talking sports, the three of us will be talking all day.

Oh man.

But the Houston Texans, come on, yeah.

Get out of here, get out of town.

Let's name them after the state.

Let's name our city basketball team after the state.

So people, it's like, won't people just think you're saying Houston, Texas.

Get out of this meeting. You're no focus group person.

Kind of all of their teams are the team names are kind of bad. Rangers is not very good.

No, I mean, I mean it'd be great if there was more like that, like you know, the the Denver Cops or something like that, and there's the Astros.

Yeah that sounds like assholes.

Yeah, the Rangers just make you think of everyone's Chuck Norris on the team.

And then there's the San Antonio clips.

Boom, right, you need to stand it. Oh, I love.

It, Chris. Sorry you had to do all the heavy lifting on this.

Old Yeah, I'm sorry.

Can I put these down? Sorry?

That's where you were supposed to yes and and go yes, stop lifting those heavy.

Weights or something. No.

I on purposely so you guys didn't feel bad about all the heavy lifting.

I made it look like I was a failure.

Thanks, Chris, you really took the hit for us.

That's pretty nice.

I'm I know that you guys would have preferred a ride to the airport.

Four your tricks.

Oh, but that was like at six am.

Yea, even though you guys are exhausted and you're about to go into a deep daycoma.

I appreciate you letting me pick you up rather than drop you off. Oh, I just got the thank you for needing one.

I just got that feeling that people get when they are so excited. It really is the best when you can walk out of that shithole of an airport and get into someone's car that you know is supposed to like a cab, or do it yourself. It's so nice.

Or I mean, up until Buber existed and it's hard to get them, I guess I still do it.

The shuttle super shut where you get in.

With a bunch of stress, I hate that so much.

A sweaty van.

That's like you're just doing like a ground plane. It's just like the same experience but on the.

Ground, except you stop and every they drop off a bunch of people on the way to your place, and you get a park in front of their complex.

There was I have a thousand earth shuttle hideous stories when I used to have to do colleges and I would be so hungover and it would be five thirty in the morning, and then like a band would get on then and then the next stop would be like we'd sit in front of that really fancy apartment building on Vine that when it turns into Rossmore and then thirty minutes later some rich girl would come out that I would want to strangle.

And like it was always just like, how is this? How are we saving money here when you're having the worst experience of your life.

And now they've turned that, they've gone to that with Uber, you can do a shared thing, like it's so for a distance, yes, And so I was like, I'll try this to a show. It's me and a friend. And then two roller Derby girls came in. One of them had dreads, so and nothing against roller Derby or the other thing they do bur lesque dancing, but these girls smelled because I guess they had not showered for a while, and they had two leftovers of their food that they

I said that out. I guess this is happening.

And then the Uber driver laughed and well, I guess it was a learning experience.

I mean, those aren't people. Those are people that don't know how to share a car, right, I.

Mean, the least you can do is not have open left over the very least and the next least is shower.

We've learned a lot.

I can go ahead and turn off the little whole time there was a ticking of a H.

You did pretty good driving and hosting and talking.

I yeah, you know what. Today was a good day for me.

I mean not to sound all ice QB, but everything went okay.

You didn't use your AK one.

Well, I don't have an a K. I have this police baton this Brennon. You're a dude. You might appreciate you.

Yeah, anyone gives daddy guff give him a little stick time. Sorry, guys, Oh there's just a oh, I'll look at.

This nice camera. Well enough of that, enough of h Let's close out.

The show with.

Uh.

Can I not beat back? But I'm very bad at beatboxing?

Okay, here we go, Yeah, here we here we go.

Here we are at your house, dropping you off like a mouse. If you lived in the walls, I guess you would be a mouse. But you're a human person. So you live in the house house, in the house within the walls. Hard to sleep because your neighbor calls and says, hey, do you mind We're gonna make to Molly's a new Carrie Yogi all day in the alley. That's all right. You guys have kids, you gotta make them happy. That's Karen, Karen.

Here you go, Here we go, Here we go, Here we go again. Girls, what's my weakness to Molly's. Okay, then it's.

Easy to make hard to swallow to Molly's. To lead them tomorrow, we'll make some more.

Have him ready for.

Bed at the side of my head I use as a pillow.

Isn't there isn't there a real estate website called zillow?

Yeah, gotazolo sell some to Molly's. Here's what's hard about wrapping, is I you have to continue.

I will get better.

I will get the entire time's rapping hilarious. But you were doing it.

I was filled with horror, you guys. There was moments in there where I fell.

I'm kind of like a Dell, the funky Homo Sapien type rapper where I will just rap like this with the inclination of actual conversation.

Yes, I know that there's a rapper in me, but he.

Just came out and was sitting in the driver's seat right.

Thanks for I mean, there's that felt good.

This is.

Thank you guys for being on my podcast, and thank you for being on your podcast.

Thank you for being again on the podcast.

Oh yeah, thanks for having me, Thank you me for driving, and you've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

D Y n A r