Ep. 43 - Chris Garcia

I leave, then I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us.

Time and a German alaye.

We want to send you off inside.

We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it? Re scared her? Was it fine?

Now?

Porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need ride.

With Karen and Chris? Welcome? Do you need a ride? This is Christopher Fairbanks.

This is Karen Lynn Kilgariff.

Well we went a little longer with our names this time.

Yeah, it's so good.

Usually I go by Chris Fairbanks. There's a legal reason I don't go by Christopher. But today I thought, tonight I thought today, and tonight I thought I'd fly by the seat of my pants.

Have you been thinking about this all day?

About coming out as Christopher? Today and tonight, I've been wearing certain outfits and dancing around with the idea of coming out as Christopher. Yeah.

Yeah, how's it feel?

It feels good.

I feel free.

I like your polka shirt.

I feel transparent. No, there's another actor in town named Christopher Fairbanks who right when I moved to al he came to my show at MBAR and he said, hey, we have a problem.

Ha ah, you said race to the TV, motherfucker.

Yeah, you had already won. He's been on Hunter.

Oh shit. So he's eighty two years old, he's.

In his fifties. He's a tall, bald man. I guess i'd handsome. Of course, sure, he's a Fairbanks. Why wouldn't he be?

He a Fairbanks? Does he have bad joints too?

I guess he deserves from living a longer life. Mine's just a gift from God. But uh yeah, I am going back to being Chris Fairbanks. And this is Do you need a ride?

It's better, it's more casual, thank you.

Yeah.

I don't want to be all you know, formal.

You don't own a restaurant.

I don't own a cumber bun.

You don't own it. You don't own it.

Yeah, exactly. My name, My name isn't who I am? Well, actually quite literally, it is.

It is, and it is for everybody. It Still we could say other things, have those be true?

How are you doing?

There's a couple of Christophers for you right now?

Look at the girl.

Look at the look at the gams on. That guy's got some big old but he's got it. He's got a curvy. That guy is a I just like the guy. The way that guy was shaped is that? Does that sound weird for me to say?

Not at all? I mean it's hard. It was hard to deny he's wearing shorts. It's march.

I was looking at the guy with the Every once in a while you see a man men men carry uh extra weight in different ways than women oftentimes, but occasionally occasionally you'll see a man with a big round woman ass, and I love it. One of those guys, he had pockets of fat everywhere one would have muscle, so he had like big pecks but then a big, big bubble. But sh and uh, I don't know. He just looked like a special breed.

Of like a Saint Bernard type or one that would save you from the river.

Yeah, with a little barrel around.

That's a good dog. Should you drive back by, let's cat call him dog?

Call him?

Oh man, what's going on with you today?

I had a massage on my in my entire body, full body massage. She said, you have the tightest hips of anyone any age. Oh that I've ever massage. I think that's what she said. There was a language barrier, but I she was very helpful. But now I'm in a lot of pain.

Because of she shook it all out.

I just don't realize I have our threats because it comes and goes. But when once you get rubbed down, man painful. Yeah, I'm in a lot of pain now, but it's a I feel like i'd let out toxins or whatever that he must say about massage and yoga. I really think there is something to that. I was storing a lot in my hips.

Yeah, and if you got the tightest hips in town, you're going to pay somehow.

Yeah for all you got to that's worth it.

Yeah, I know you're storing all your stress and your hips, but where do you store your will to live? That's what she said. At one point. I thought that was a little over.

That sounds like a challenge. Yeah, were you gonna it? Was it gonna be a kill bill situation where suddenly you had to fight her I.

Just or just for no reason at all, put on a yellow unit hard.

Oh my god, that would help your hips? Yeah, that would open that shit up.

Open up the pussy wagons.

Gave it loose one time listeners and viewers, I like to say viewers, one time viewers. Chris Fermicks and I can't remember what we were doing. We were not recording. We were driving somewhere together and whatever I was telling you about. At the end of my thought, you just yelled keep it loose at the top. And it's to this day one of the funniest things that I've ever heard, keep it loose. It was like your advice to me for my life, and it's very, very true and good advice.

I'm gonna text Chris Garcia.

Chris Garcia from San Francisco, I am a nor haller.

That's a Tignataro joke. That's not my joke.

That's not a joke.

It's it's a joke because it's a non jokes. That's a rhyme.

It's dumb favorite kind. It's anything with aids.

The only yeah, me too, me too. I'm gonna pretend I never said it.

Oh me too. Sorry.

The only reason I did say it was because it was probably just a reflex it was it was it's a joke that it was a dumb joke, that I had with an old roommate, and we used to say it all the time between each other, and then every once in a while, you say those things out loud during a podcast.

You know.

Now I want to read start recording every time I say the wrong thing.

I want to I judged you. Let me just tell you this.

I had an extreme case of vulnerability hangover after our last podcast that we did, well, not our last one, the one we did with Georgia hard Stark.

Was that our last one? Yeah, that was the one before. But we talked.

We talked about very vulnerable things on that podcast. We were talking about vulnerability in general. Then we both told very vulnerable stories.

Yeah.

And I was cringing for a seventy two hours after my story of almost being pansed in high school because I didn't in my memory. When I got home, I was like, oh, I didn't tell that on the podcast. I told that like when we were like then, I was like, no, I recorded that for all time, Like every part of that story.

Was isn't that funny? How this is forever me saying's the dumbest joke in history, which I've now repeated, that will someone can anyone that's ready to like, well, I'm gonna I'm going to look through social media to get upset about something today.

That's there.

This is gonna do it.

It's gonna be in a file, could be a dusty one in the way in the back of the filing cabinet, but it's going to be there.

My brother struggle with AIDS in that very city.

And for you to.

Flippantly say stay twos.

And it doesn't even rhyme, it's a non joke.

She'll say, that's me, right, you're talking about me, Yes, you you.

I noticed that you leave a lot of negative comments on our podcast, and I know that I.

Just wants to toughen up. It's kind of a great Sini thing doing.

For us, isn't he?

What's he?

A balancing act?

That was that movie where the dad was a big asshole.

He said, Uh, he's coming out. Oh isn't that San Francisco of him? Look at me with all the offense. Jabbin left and yeah, I'm really pushing some buttons.

Okay, there's a grammar school on this site, in a Korean church on this side.

You know, it took me years to realize grammar school was another word for elementary school, and that is an inspector Crusoe looking man. Shit, he's behind us. Yeah, yeah, he just hadn't come out yet, he said coming out, which is that's when I made a confusing joke. But he will come out.

And I'm rolling my window down because it's it's just like summertime hot.

Today is awful.

It's crazy.

It's a muggy enjoy some of the outdoor the sights and sounds of our visual podcast.

It smells beautiful, it'll smell like.

Pe Sometimes I do watch our podcast like you'll watch it and I look at the SoundCloud.

You just stare at that thing there he is.

Look at his collegiate shirt. There he is California Berkeley his shirt.

Hi friend, Hello Chris.

Chris Garcia entering the vehicle, entering the two thousand and eight going on the other side because he's a professional.

Hi, Chris Garcia, how are you good?

Of course, thank you for needing one. It's good to see you. There's a little microphone right there.

Yeah, Chris Garcia. Where's your show tonight?

My show is at Stories in Echo Park. It's called Good Heroin.

Have you ever done the Good Heroin Show? It's very It's one of these shows where you're gonna be like, oh my god, how do they get all these people to show up? It's kind of like that Best Fish Taco show where it's just off the charts, off the chains. Yeah, it's off the charts. And that's more like the medical industry version of off the chats. You're off the charts here with your cholesterol and then you're gonna love it.

I was invited to do it and then I had to cancel.

Oh, they aren't gonna like that.

That's kind of my thing and the comedy shows around town. So I say yes and then I don't come.

How do you feel, Chris when you have to cancel?

Does it?

Do you anguish over it?

Like I do? I feel guilty?

Yeah? Yeah, they're seeing guilt.

That's my security blanket.

Yeah, guilted.

Yeah, I always. I always cloak myself in a nice quilt of guilt. Quilt of guilt.

It's this is Matt Ingebretson's show.

Matt inga beets say, Matt ingebret Sin's.

Name and David Ross, I can't do a British.

Actually did Heroin and then they named the show good Heroin.

Oh really he did? Are you kidding?

He was like a almost a Heroin addict. Who is this David Ross?

Oh? Really? He smoked it in college?

Well, I mean once.

I think he did it a while, and he did it so much that he had a final to do and it was soccer. All he had to do is show up and play soccer for this final and decided not to do it, so he just did Heroin instead, and because of that he graduated with less of a than a three point zero.

Wow, that's I mean. I jokingly smoked crack once, but that's because me and my friend knew it was funny. We're like, this is hilarious. We're smoking crack, let's laugh about it. How was it really lame? Really lame? Never would do it again? Felt very bad for several days after.

Was it like a crazy high.

We just had come across? No, not for me, man. Maybe it's because you know, I don't have any voids that need to be filled since I'm spiritually I can't even come up with a lie.

Oh no, the chills ever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what it is. Thanks. Yeah, Sometimes caring has to put things into perspective.

Chris, what's the craziest drug you've ever done?

Yeah, the biggest, heaviest.

I'm not, well, I'm not a crazy drug person, but I did.

But I mean, it's okay, you're in a safe place.

I did acid one time in college and I was like, I'd just broken up with my long distance girlfriend and it was the night before finals and I had like multiple finals, and I didn't know. I was like, oh, it's just probably last like half an hour or something like weed. And I did the eye dropper kind like vizine kind, and I.

Did like three or four drops in each eyeball.

Oh.

And I ended up writing an eight page hate mail to Jennifer Lopez.

And I stayed up all night. I thought I was a piece of gum.

I put speakers on like the other side of my head, and I listened to a What's that song like jim nople d Number six, like Eric's Oh, and then I just cried and I felt the music come out of me. And then I missed my finals except for one.

I went to the final and I slept oh no, okay.

And I was in Berkeley and I was walking down Telegraph Avenue and I had my first day of work at Ned's Den, like the bookstore, and my job was like I was supposed to scrape off the stickers off used books. And I just walked in and then just walked out and I bumped into a parking meter and barfed. Oh, and I was like, I guess I should go to my final.

Wait, is this another this is another story about doing drugs this morning?

No, this is the next morning. This is the night before.

It's a parallel story though, yes, yes, cross and his final.

Yeah, oh yeah.

I was like school related, man. And then I walked through campus. I there's this part of campus that there's like biology.

There's a biology building.

There's all these white vans and I walked between these two and I saw like a little people couple, like a midget couple holding hands.

And I screamed because I was like in this weird. I was like, I'm sorry, oh god, no, never mind. Yeah. Fairbanks moment was like.

And then I fell asleep in the bushes, like outside of my class. And then I talked to my teacher. He was like a Nobel, not a little well laureate, but he was like a MacArthur scholar, this guy named Tom Gunn who was like this amazing British or Scottish from the UK. It is this amazing poetry teacher and poet. And I told him. I was like, sorry, I did acid for the first time and I have nothing in

Do you want to talk about it? And he took me out for a beer.

It was like the first time I ever went to a bar and we talked about acid and how it makes you feel the infinity. I have a grasp of the like infinite present moment. And then he was like, don't worry about your final that was that was pretty cool. That was a good talk. Just maybe just turn in, just turn something in about this experience by the beginning

Drugs, for doing drugs, that's because you went to Berkeley.

That is so it's like the most Berkeley experience.

It's totally But here's the thing, I can't.

I'm still very nervous about three drops in each eye.

That is so intense.

That's that's beyond getting like, you know, funneling vodka and your anus, isn't that Did I just make that up? Didn't you do that?

No?

That's amazing.

Yeah, it was really I was.

I missed all of my finals and I had to explain it to my teachers, and none of them are cool about except for tom Gunn.

Tom gun I'm going to read a book of his.

He's really cool. And then I had like withdraw from pretty much. It was like I wasted my semester. Some a couple of teachers let me turn in my just like okay, you're sick. But it really kind of messed me up for like a week or two. And oh I saw I remember, I saw Rice. I went to the sink and I saw Rice on a spoon and I started crying on control toy for like twenty minutes because it ruined my world.

I want to talk about.

Yeah, I just I love the part where you thought you were gum.

Yeah, yeah, I thought I was.

I was sitting on a bean bag and then I thought I was like, oh yeah, I'm a bean bag too, or I'm.

Just like a piece of gum.

Oh wow.

But I actually did acid for the second time, like fifteen years later. It was like this summer, and I was like, Okay, maybe my brain wasn't formed right at the time. And I wasn't like I don't know, I was just a kid. I didn't know how to take this stuff. And I went camping with my friends and took it. And I walked into the woods by myself, and I was like, this is my comeback. And I stared at the trees and I saw like, you know, like a pit bull's face in a.

Tree, and it looked like maybe like a wolf.

It's just you know, in the tree bark it just like it just you know, it was hallucinating recording artists.

In the woods.

Mister worldwide.

Yes.

And I got frustrated with the acid not being strong enough, and I started yelling at it, and my friends like heard me from like a couple of camp grounds and I was like, that's all you've got, That's all I was scared of. And I was having this crazy like battle with being high on acid. And being like it frustrated.

Yeah, I was like, I'm frustrated this and then I was maybe. I was like, this is what I was scared of fifteen years ago.

This is this is what made me drop out of school almost.

That's amazing to me and night. To me, acid is a very heavy drug because I base it on how you feel afterwards. Because the time I took it, it was the same thing. Someone had dripped it into it, dripped it onto sugar cubes, and I was like, sugar cubes. I'm not I'm not afraid to eat no sugar cubes and ate like four of them. This was long. It was a long time ago in my snowboarding days and I danced and had fun for like two days. It

And well, I was like I felt like flu sick for like a week or two.

Okay, I felt Yeah, boy, drugs are no good. Huh.

They're crazy.

I mean they opened your eye, but they also opened your immune system to a lot of undesirables.

I always felt like more should happen. We had I did acid once and we had a Christmas party and so I had to host a party on est But it actually was the most fun thing ever and everyone told me like that was the best party and you were the best hostess, and I had I decided it like we did it like you know noon. So by the time the party, we were it was like third Wave by the time the party started, right, but we

Right, So I had this.

I had a like a it wasn't late text, but it was like this weird plastic dress that this zipped up the front. And I decided I was finally gonna wear the plastic dress that was silver and then this weird like fifties kind of see through blouse underneath it.

But it was December.

It was a Christmas party, so I was freezing, like literally my lips were blue. But I didn't know, so I was like, hey, what welcome people thought I had blue lips.

Describing Jane Fond as costume in some specific movie Barbarella. Yes, thank you continue that was kind of it.

It was just stupid.

And then basically everybody, by the time the whole party was over and all the people that did acid together just stayed at my house and like passed out on the living room floor and everyone fell asleep, and I was laying there and I had spinning Goofy and Mickey Mouse's in my eyes, so like I couldn't go to sleep. Part of the yeah, it was like part of the acid trip. But it was like I was just seeing like these very commercial cartoon things just spinning and circuit.

Did they tell you you would You're gonna see Disney characters?

No?

Oh god no, that was.

Just a bonus for me personally. Wow, that's like how lame my brain is. It was just like, here's the thing you got sold when you were eight.

Well, it's a piece, it's a safe place, I suppose.

Yeah, I guess so, I don't know. I think as it's kind of dumb.

Yeah, it's all yeah, I like the organic natural yeah.

Well, and things that last, like you said, you thought it was gonna last half an hour, like pot, like the idea.

It just lasts too long, all those drugs do.

It's crazy.

It's too long.

It's too long.

Four hours max.

Right, a movie and some pizza, that's all you need.

That's terrific. I love it. But I've never done Heroin. It's a bad one. That's the one that everyone knows you're not supposed to do.

It's just too scary. It's not worth it.

It isn't worth it. I don't care how great it feels. Someone could say it feels like your whole body is orgasming, orgasming, and I'd say, I don't care.

Man, Well, no, that feels like.

The exact opposite of that. So what's the point.

Yeah, yeah, Like moments later.

When you're well, yeah, it makes your life feel the opposite. That's you're we're not supposed to live that way. No, we're supposed to, you know, we're supposed to buck up and live in the real world.

That's right.

You have orgasms every once in a while with your husband or wife.

Yes, under the eyes of God.

In between beds, sleeping separately, we.

Scoot them together on weekends and.

Then kiss lightly and leave each other alone.

Light to mid heavy.

Petting Saturday nights only.

Come on, keep it in the weekend.

Don't get greedy, Chris. What else is going on?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you spill your guts, Chris.

I'm like, I'm so. I get a little nervous on podcasts because.

I usually just go to like revealing too much about myself. No, all we do, which is that buttle when I was seven?

That's real. I was just talking about a seven year old butthole before you got it. Yeah. No, I'm just saying we before you got in, we were talking about how we just blurt and we think it's between each other and then we realize thousands, sometimes six or seven thousand. Brag. But you're on a very popular podcast, very popular. Originally Karen and I were going to do a podcast about Alzheimer's because both our moms have Alzheimer's. And then I and your and your dad and you have that story.

I guess it was part of Yeah, it was kind of based on that set.

I was.

It was my last big show before leaving San Francisco.

I had done comedy for like eight years, seven years or something, and I was headlining the punchline. It was a kind of big deal and part of the reason I'm I mean, I moved down to help take care of my dad.

You know, he's got Alzheimer's and stuff, and.

Started getting really bad, and I just started decided to like pour my heart out at the show, and I just talked about it and how difficult it was, and but it was funny, like I I cried like half of the time on stage. His first time, I was like crying, but also like cracking jokes about it. And it felt like the first time I ever really did stand up right.

I was just like so honest and.

Like and he was saying that it. People are gonna, of course, draw parallels because it's kind of like what Tick did when she would talked about and she wasn't didn't really plan to get emotional that talked about having breast cancer on stage it was around that time, and it was kind of a similar reaction, wouldn't you say, where, Well, here's.

This amazing and it's like her, that's her story and her moment, her coming out. I was talking about my dad and like it's like different, but is similar in the way that it was like, whoa, where did this?

This came out of the blue?

Yeah?

And it was, and I think it was probably you know, some people thought it was special.

Yeah. And you I remember because afterwards, because I was in town bravely doing jokes about my balls and you and then we all met at that bar where a lot of fixed gear guys hang out and play billiards and uh, and you you did have this feeling or this look on your face that you were you were very excited about what had just happened. Yeah, And I was just kind of overhearing it. But then I remember it turned into a lot of things, right, didn't It turned into an appearance on.

Well it was crazy because I mean, there was a couple of really wild things about it. It was the first time my therapist ever saw me do comedy. And when I showed up to the club known as There, except for he was sitting in the very front row, and I've been.

Seeing him for two years, and he could he doesn't know anything about my standing.

I mean, he knows that I stand up, but he doesn't know if I'm good or anything, right, he just knows behind the scenes.

And I was like, oh shit, I'm really nervous, so.

I got would make me very nervous.

Yeah, I was freaking out.

And he's like a ballbuster too. He's like this seventy year old. He's like this little gay Italian man that was like he grew up in the Bronx and he's kind of socialized Jewish and he's like you would just be like.

Oh my god, listen to yourself. Why don't you just how about this?

How about we just record this one time and then you don't have to come anymore. I'll just listen to the same tape every week because you aren't learning anything. Just give me one hundred and fifty bucks every week and just don't fucking come in anymore. I loved him because it was you. I it was It's the type of person I need, you know, rather than someone that just sitting there and listening. I get frustrated that this guy was awesome and I was like, oh, man, I gotta knock it out of the park.

For this guy now.

And then I go outside and Bobcat Coolthway's there because I asked him to do the show and he happened to be in town Ray Buddi's and next to Bobcat is Robin william and I was like, oh my god, Hi, how are you? Jokingly I was like, do you want

Like a wasted asshole. And then I knew he didn't remember who I.

Was, but joker just went about his arm hair.

He and so I was like, oh, nervous. I was like, oh, well he right, he doesn't remember, but it's just it's Rob Williams. And so I was like, Bobcat, my therapist is here. And Rob Williams is like, oh shit, He's like, what are you gonna do? He's like, that's crazy. And then we hung out in the green room.

He was really nice, and I was like, oh, this is really crazy. It's my last show in talent, it's my first time headlining the punchline.

That was right before you moved to to La, right.

Yeah, it was my big going away show and I wanted to do it big so I wouldn't ever come back, right right, And so I was like, okay, I'm not going to.

Make a fool out of myself and move back one day. I have to. Like that's why I was like, had Bobcats and other people want and stuff.

And then I went on stage and I you know, did my jokes, my standard jokes, and then I just started really opening up fell my dad and it was really it felt really beautiful, and it felt like really the first time I was like, oh, this is this is comedy right here, this is you know, it's just not gags and is like this is this is what is really funny.

It's like, you know, my.

Dad like trying to get it on with my mom and then stopping himself and being like I can't do this.

I have a wife and two kids, and.

Like him trying to cheat on her with her and all this stuff that is like really unique to my life.

But yeah, that's the best joke ever. But it actually happened.

Yeah, and it happened.

And then I got off stage and I was like, I was like, it felt crazy because I just cried in front of like a packed house and stuff, and Ron Williams is just standing in the hallway and he just was like he gave me a hug and he was like that was I think he was like that's hilarious and beautiful and from the heart and like I still get shivers and yeah, I think about it and it was like this hearing that from him at that moment, it was like one of the greatest experiences of my

And it was like a live one and it was really fun. Yeah, so cool, and that helped me get this American life.

Oh that's great.

How many people?

I'm sorry, but I was just gonna say, it's that thing of like I'm sure thirty percent of the people that were in the audience had somebody in their family that.

Had to Alzheimer's.

Like it's that kind of thing where you think it's so it's only happening to you, and actually it's happening to a shit ton of people every day. Yeah.

I always assume it's happening to older people, like the age with my dad, with my dad, when it was happening with my dad and his mom had it also known as my grandmother, but uh, that's more common. But when it's I always think that because we're young people, the three.

Of us, it's.

Traditionally you know people, you would think we wouldn't have to deal with this for another fifteen twenty years. But there is a lot of people being affected. I think more and more. Yeah, it's like people are getting it younger. I think, don't you guys think am I just making that up?

I think my dad.

Got it like sixty five just like pretty young. I feel like like early onset.

Yeah, my mom started showing signs at fifty nine.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, it's it's bizarre. But in how long how much time has passed? Like six seven years?

Like it wasn't so bad at first, and they actually thought they misdiagnosed him and thought he was just like depressed, right, like guys that like like newly retired people, like older guys just feel useless or something and they're kind of bummed out and subdued. So then they were like, oh, he doesn't have it, and then he started, you know, getting forgetful and aggressive.

And the only way they can ever because they can't really diagnose it. There's such a spectrum of all this dementia and just behavioral stuff that is under the same umbrella. It's like they don't know it's Alzheimer's until you do specific things like your actions help diagnose it.

I guess it's cruel. It's such a crazy disease.

It's like anything, I don't know, you could be forgetful, I don't know.

There's just so many different.

Ways it like attacks you almost you know, like and it's hard to tell.

What it is.

Like, Oh, maybe he's just forgetful, maybe he's cranky, he's depressed, maybe he's irritable. Maybe I don't know, he's getting old and he just got loopy.

But then something happens where you know for sure that's what it is, right.

Yeah, for my dad, it was when I was I was in San Francisco and my mom called me at like six pm. My parents live down here in LA and she was like, hey, so your dad is missing. And I was like, oh, okay, and she's like, he's been missing since seven o'clock in the morning. I was like, oh, what the fuck mind you you're telling me now at like six pm, Like, did you call the cops? And since she's like a little Latina lady that doesn't call the cops, she's like, no, why would I call the cops?

Yeah. My mom got on a bus once in Spokane and took it across town. But had she not been telling people she had murdered someone, which my mom never murdered anyone. Well, that's what caused someone to call the police, and then they contacted my sister. She's like, I killed somebody. You know when you have I have a reoccurring dreams where I'm like I killed somebody and I forgot about it. Yeah, because I ever have that, I don't know why. And then you wake up and it's like, oh my god,

It's not yet.

Yeah, yeah, but I yeah, it's.

It's it's that thing where they start to slip into that like dream world. My mom used to do a lot of like she you could tell she wasn't asking questions that she really wanted to ask because she didn't want to freak anybody out. But then like one time we were sitting there and she just turned the me and she goes, who are those people? And like she was seeing people in the room with us, and there it was just trying eye. So there would be you know,

It's just like it's.

Just like a really long, boring horror movie that you can't get out of.

And it's like it's dangerous for the care like your their caretakers or whoever they live with. Like for my dad would just like constantly walk in the middle of night. He'd like grab a knife and think someone was like trying to break in, and he would like become violent and like break things. It's like it's yeah, I mean, it's the worst for the person that has it, but it's really.

Got it's interesting to hear your stories. And then because there's similar my mom, Yeah, walking around out side with no shirt, just in her bra holding a hammer, but not threatening people. She just happened to have been hanging pictures.

And then I thought it was like the last thing in her he I'll.

Go outside before I put on a shirt, and so it's such a it's it's such an interesting I wonder how similar those situations are and.

If the well, that's it, you know, they get the sundowners thing, where like they walk at night when the sun goes down, they start to get really restless.

My dad got a call from our neighbor once.

And it was a woman who told my dad that the day before she had found my mom walking downtown and so she gave her a ride home. And my dad had been taking a nap and just thinking that my mom was in the house with him.

And so he didn't even know.

Yeah, he didn't even know what happened until she called and said, I just realized you should probably know this, and this is you know, this is a thing. But it was just my mom like in a in a robe, walking around downtown in our town.

In a row.

Yeah, just walking around and thank god our neighbor drove by. Like who knows what would have happened, but like our neighbor drove by and said, Patter, are you okay?

Do you need to ride? And she she like was aware enough to go, yeah, I do. I need to ride home.

That's what's so devastating about because I see a lot of homeless people, and you know, it's safe to assume that a lot of homeless people are mentally ill, more than half of them, Yeah, but a lot of them.

It's yeah, exactly.

Because they didn't. And then someone's like, oh, my mom's missing and maybe maybe she's just downtown in skid Row. I'm doing a bad job of like describing that, but.

No, but I've become like really since it or like a tune of that. Like just a couple of weeks ago, I saw some just old guy standing in front of Walgreens staring at the door, right, and I went to Trader Joe's and I came back out and he was still there, and I was I just hello, Siah, okay, like yeah, how are you?

Like, what's your name? Like talk to him for a second. He's like, oh, oh yeah, nothing, I'm okay, Like okay, but I was like that could be right, you know, that.

Was a yeah, yeah, it's sad.

Sorry, it feels nice to like, you know, we do these shows and stuff and afterwards you find out that other you don't feel still alone because other people. You know, my mom has, my dad has, my grandpa died from it and all this stuff, and then to bring light to it is like it's humanizing this terrible, dehumanizing disease again.

Yeah, because it is.

Funny, Like my mom recently there was my dad was like there's this other small my mom's really short, and there's this new lady in his he's in a home now, and there's this new patient who's this small Japanese lady who has my mom's same name, Hannah, and my dad was like just started holding her hand and being sweet to her, and my mom would come visit and my dad would be like, who's this bitch? Like to my mom, like get out here? Would you please leave us alone?

But I was like, oh shit, Like that's just funny.

And I know my mom doesn't really mean, she's just cracking a joke, but it's like, ah, that's a good one.

It's like the darkest.

Well it's because it gets to me, it's like ten times funnier. Like my sister and I have like cried laughing over the darkest shit because you're not you shouldn't be laughing at it, and then it just that makes it.

Like one time my mom came downstairs and she.

Was just wearing a fleece zip up and no pants and a pair of sunglasses, and.

She came into the kitchen.

Like, my mom's was especially painful for us because she she stayed herself in these certain ways and then these other ways. She was so different, right, so she would every once in a while you'd get a flash of her old personality. So, like she came down and she was just staying there with their sunglasses on, and then my sister like, hey, Mom, what's up, and she's like, I don't know, and like kind of like super like we were dorks and she was the coolest person ever,

Yes, that's so great. Yeah, it's interesting how because I feel like my mom was just kind of trapped in the shell of a person that used to be her because she can't talk anymore, can't eat on her own. But she makes facial expressions and looks at things and then turns to talk shit about them or make fun of someone's because my mom would just make fun of people. That's where I got it. And uh she but she

That's the whole thing that makes it like work.

Oh my god, I'm going.

To go after that.

Oh my god, I hate her so much.

Oh she was on a little scooter, a scooter.

And I was just trying to take a left turn. Yeah, wait, what's what time's your show?

Chris?

It's we better go there.

He's not going to be first. He's a heavy hitter. It's a loose show. Hey, Chris, I mean we've had this. I think this has still been funny this whole time. But I was excited for us.

The whole time.

I mean, I liked it. My transition into getting you to talk about it, I've been so awkward this whole time.

No, I was hoping that we were talking. We would talk because we have it's so nice to, you know, talk to the people.

And I've just out in the streets or in our personal life have wanted to talk to you about this, So why not record it and try it out for the first time in front of a bunch of people. But not to change the subject. But the show you're gonna do is going to be very fun and you're about to have a very good time. I promise.

What this is saying is no crying.

Please, yeah, yeah, do your best dick jokes.

It does feel sometimes I would like I was like, okay, I feel like talking about my dad, and I'll do it.

I'm like, you good sports bar right now. They're gonna love it. This crowd. It's behind a bookstore, so something about passing a bunch of books people adjust their brain. I think a little. They're like, uh, it's just a good it's a smart audience. Maybe I was there in a good night but I was blown away by how nice this audience that you're about to experience.

So it is it over there? Do you guys know what it is?

That next light? It's the block after that next light. But I think if you just.

Make a left of that light, but to the right, correct to the left, we're gonna take Here's we're going to take a right, and then once we're on this street, which the sunset will be on our left.

I just made it more confusing by adding words, Yeah, we actually take a left here, and then we'll do the sneak attack in the alley because that's where the performing actually happens. And then there's some nice urban wall murals that I I like to call them urban wall murals rather than graffiti because there's a negative connotation with that. Really Yeah, and I call the tramp stamp tattoo and I call them the lower back piece. Don't you still have butterfly reggae lyrics?

I have a salmon. I don't know why. I was drunk.

Things got really dark in the nineties and I wanted to commemorate it.

With a fish.

I have a tattoo of a band aid on my ankle, so real. Yeah, you've never seen it.

Feel better.

It's right there. Never seen it just looks. I mean it's kind of it's shaded, so it looks like a corn dog or a severed human peanut.

But it's a band aid tattoos.

Yeah, I uh, I think it's right.

Have a tattoo of a Pablo Picasso is sketching on my arm?

Oh really?

So I think nine to eleven had just happened, and George Bush was being all weird and I was like, yeah, Picasso.

It gets warmed. Grnic is too big.

To get this little bullplight scene. I have to see that, and it's I had no hair on my shoulder when I got it.

Now it's like covered in hair.

That show is I can just pull in.

Here, I think. So yeah, what about check cashing payday love?

Oh? Well, people want to do that round the clock.

Ah oh this is perfect.

Look at this rear entry.

Off Chris. Are you getting married right?

Yeah? In October?

In October? How's that going?

Uh?

Fun planning it and stuff.

We're gonna get married in Joshua Tree.

And uh it was funny. My mom in a really Catholic and traditional and she's.

Like, so, what church is like a Joshua Tree in the Church of the Desert.

Yeah, who's gonna be who's going to be the pastorns Alex Cole Wacamedian.

Friend is Alex Cole gonna officiate?

Yeah, it's gonna officiate. And she's like, oh, your Jewish friend is like is he a rabbi?

He's like, I don't want to talk about it, mom, it's gonna be outside. It's gonna be okay.

Oh that's great. That's refreshing to hear someone's parents still being religious. But that's just where I come from. No one's religious in Montana.

Oh I's holding it down for everybody.

Oh good, good, good, good lady. Is she doing good?

Uh?

Yeah, you know, she's doing She started going to therapy. My sister and I were like, hey, you gotta go to therapy, and which is hard Latin people. It's like, I'm not going to tell a white person my secrets, right, I tell God my secrets and that's it. Yeah, And they're like, okay, well, you should still go to therapy. And she's been going and she's been uh, she's been doing really well. And she yeah, you know, my dad just have like a birthday and those holidays are always tough.

Beat the candle. But we're like, oh, let's have it was fun, like it's sweet.

Yeah, And so she's doing she's she's a real tough lady. And my dad used to handle a lot of the stuff before he got sick, and she's just knocked it out of the park and she's like taking care of stuff and oh, that's great. She lost her car key recently and she went to like some shady guy in

And she like went off on him.

Oh that's great.

And also she thought he was ripping them off. Yeah, and she's like that and it's like, oh no, those keys are actually one hundred dollars.

Oh.

But she's like standing up for he like stuff like this little lady had never done. She's like become a real.

Tough atrong thing to do.

Boundaries.

It's got an alarm on it and stuff, and it's an expensive key. But yeah, saying give me your watches. Yeah, she deserved that. Good for It's great, that's awesome. Well do you want to do your comedy concert? Ryan Singer?

Oh, it's that beautiful hair.

Yeah, he's got a nice head of hair. Who else can he's got real.

Uh Matt far from Atlanta.

I don't know her.

Wow, good guy, funny guy.

Excuse me singer.

Have you heard Singer's latest podcast where he does DMT with Shane Moss. No, they do DMT like Ryan does it for the first time in Shane's an expert and walks him through it. And then Shane does it and he's done it so much that he's like totally talking through his experience.

He's like whoa Oh. I thought Shane Moss was like a sober guy.

Now he was.

And then I guess he does zyahwuaska or No, he does like DMT and stuff, but I don't.

Think he drinks is DMT like ayahuasca.

I think it's like the cliff note, it's like the fifteen minute version.

Oh well, ayahuasca I've been told by some people you like have to go and be guided through by a shaman, then being a yurt and all this stuff and there. You can't just go out and take it and go out to a show or something. You have to like an experience because everyone kind of sees the same is visited by a guide. And I'm interested in doing it myself.

I have a shaman I can put you in touch.

With do you have?

I swear to God?

Well, I have a sherpa and I know that you were.

Going to go to Yeah, we can do like we've been talking about.

I also, I'll give you a chicken shwarma if you let me use your and you have that what's a fourth word that? It's so fun to play.

I could do a kind of a swing reference if you have no if you had no boundaries, no standards whatsoever.

When did I ever, of course, don't have a new boundaries? Boundaries? Oh okay, do.

You ever do bounderies? It's the best drug.

It's like DMT mixed with ayahuasca and three drops of it.

Makes you act like a hyper dog.

Wait you guys, I'm loving this because look it's like a little there's like a little green room out in this alley and we're just looking at it, Yeah, from the car the gate, like we can just watch as comedians kind of Hi, how are you together?

Ye?

Comedians just acting like dudes together.

Look at those dudes just duting around for the love of comedy.

Just patting each other on the back, already being so supportive.

There's been a lot of backpack.

A lot of backpackers. Maybe they need a sharp you know. I don't think that there's that kind of supportive that if that was a group of lawyers we were just looking at.

I'm not going there and just start slapping people on the back even if they don't know me.

Yeah, I mean nothing against lawyers, but fuck them.

Yeah.

This is the funnest part of the show, Chris, is that while you're doing comedy, there's people in these apartments that I just assume one of them would end up being a sniper. I was horrified, and I said, just some sniper up there, surrounded by cats. And then everyone looked up and sure enough, there's a shadowy figure of someone surrounded by cats and the whole I mean, there was no I could have planned that, but I think it made me have one of my favorite concerts of my life.

So use your space, use what you see, use your space.

Here's some tips, Chris, the unsolicited advice going into this show. I use the stage.

Cat them on the back.

Yes, everyone you're coming, like even the audience walk through, pat their back, feel it out, experience. It's tangible, awesome. Oh look at them.

Yea car.

It's hot in here.

It's really hot.

Hey, Chris, thanks for being on. Do you need a ride?

Oh? Thanks so much. This is really fun and.

Thanks for talking about the things we talked about.

I love I love every second of it.

I did too, it was pretty great. Yeah, I agree.

Do you have anything you want to plug?

Yeah?

I guess every Monday in Echo Park at the Little Joy Bar, have my show the business.

The business. I've done the business.

And it's great, great, come back and do it again. But it's every Monday.

And what's your Twitter?

Oh, it's underscore, Chris Garcia.

It's important to get that, you know, get a couple of followers. Thank you for being on the show. You've been listening to. Do you Need a ride? D y n A. R.