Ep. 42 - Georgia Hardstark

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim.

Give us time and a germanol and gay. We want to send you off inside. You wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about every scared he was?

It fine?

Now porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

This is Karen Kilgara.

We are doing a hard three point turn near the one on one cafe. Not recognized no ways, but recognized by us as.

A great ways to eat and recognized by the American Dental Association as one of the top florid providers.

Yes, one in ten sandwiches approved filled with floride. It's actually kind of dangerous, sorry, sir. He was trying to make a point by leaping into the street. That point is nobody cares for him.

I mean.

He just was jaywalking. Yeah, that was confusing.

Oh my, roll this up nonchalantly and casey hears us. Let's roll that up for a couple of reasons.

There's we don't want to invite the trouble that we always seem to have.

Yes, and also it's cold, really cold. Gave it's a little stinky, A little stinky to say, yo, homie, I'll give you lumps.

Hey, listen, listen, pal. I find that if you make eye contact.

With a person while they're crossing, jaywalking in front of your car, I get that thing where I can't stop driving because I get like almost hypnotized by the by the eye contact.

Yeah, just by the sheer unshakable confidence.

Yeah, of just like, oh, you're gonna come at my car like a rhinoceros. Well, then now it's on, Like now.

It is on.

Does it look like I've ever been paralyzed by a car? I am walking, aren't I?

Well you're zero for one in terms of cars. Yeah, card are you playing?

I'm I don't. I'm playing several roles sketch, sorry.

Because you were narrating. Yes, then I was me, but then you were the guy, right.

And when I made it better if I had altered my voice, but I didn't want to sound racist.

Please to what race was that guy?

I don't know? Yeah, that's why I actually am I not the opposite of racist, because I don't even know.

You're like a dog, you're colorblind.

You know what I don't see. I don't see purple and gold. I don't see black and white. Oh my god, that dress.

We've all been had by that. You know that was promotion for a TV show, was it? Yeah?

Wait? Well then why are some people really believing it's blue and black and getting angry with me? Oh it was blue and black, but I am seeing it as white and gold.

I know.

It's because it's a trick of your eyes, right, right, So that's that's we've been had.

There was a reason for it, however, Yeah, there was a.

Little something to it, But at the same time, the only reason we're talking about it is because it was for a TV show.

Well, didn't it kind of backfire? Since we don't know what show that is, and neither does America.

That's right, and most people are just cleaning up this just scraps of broken friendships and lives.

I it really was. I mean, a lot of things divide people politics, but then you've got to talk more than ten minutes. The answer isn't just yes or no. With politics, you have to know your shit with that dress. It's like, this is white and gold. If you think it's blue and black, I can't talk to you anymore, and we're going to.

Have a war.

Which I was getting furious with people.

I really think me because I only saw black and gold. I mean black and blue.

Wow, I couldn't see anything else.

And I didn't understand the point, Like it's almost like you see that and you go, I don't understand what this discussion is about.

How could it be anything else?

Well, I can't believe that. Right now I found out you're a blue and black person. Because it's it's going to tear apart our friendship and the cod past, cod past. How do you say it?

The cord past. It's it's where the public Yeah yeah.

But it's fish of the past. It's just like that ghosts and bones, fish of the past.

You know those dragonfish that we're on the old maps.

It's on the far end of farmers, uh, Seattle Market, farmers Seattle Market.

They're so old they won't throw it to each other anymore. It's like you catch it, gross, get it away from me.

I know I'm a carpshucker, but I'm not catching that shit.

I think the dress colors really symbolize how we are divided as a nation politically, and there's no there's no movement that people cannot come off of their of their hot Republican high horse or their democratic soap box.

There's no movement.

It's it's un We're just locked.

We're locked.

Oh god, that sounds I mean, this is hopeless.

I think the machines will take over and then it won't matter.

Should we even continue recording since that's it's the case. By the way, buy a machine. I'm recording with a machine. So haven't they already won?

What if they're editing us?

Oh, they're listening to everything. I'm gonna have to move to Russia and hide.

Speaking of which, really have to think because we did can talk about this last time in our last episode was Sarah Shaeffer.

Shaeffer who was hilarious. She was very funny, and she was so great at the meltdown when she did her stand up. She's so funny.

Yes, it's enjoyable to see another young comedian, female comedian.

Who's good at stand up comedy. It always makes me so happy.

Me too, I say it the same way and I'm not even one of the women you are, like, it's good to see another woman female comment.

Didn't you have such as a feeling?

And then I stopped for a minute. It's like, wait, I'm a man. Am I really this blind race and also gender, Chris, It's.

Almost like you're the chillest bro ever.

I'm the chilliest bro or I'm the blackest woman. I don't it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. At the end of the day, I.

Don't even care. I have to like check my sweatpants every night and look at my own genitals to realize that I'm supposed to persecute others.

Get on it, because you really aren't doing it around.

Me, ever, Get on it. Get get on my own genitals. First of all gross, and secondly that takes years of yoga. Oh man, I can tell. My point was this is already a good episode.

This is going to be a hot one.

My point was that Breddy Stonellis are great fan and yes, and Twitter account that only exists because you made the hilarious mishearing of me saying Brett Easton Ellis.

Yeah earlier in this year on our cod Past.

Yes, it was definitely in the past of the cod.

Yes, so I got the tip.

I believe it was from Breddy to clean my car, to clean the dog hair with dishwashing gloves that are lazy and.

With no solution whatsoever. Just dry on seat, dry and the friction.

Pulls pulls it right up like a magnet.

It was miraculous for that one car ride with Sarah there was It was a borderline dog hair free car atas.

The dogs have been to the park since, and the seed I noticed now is again covered with a bit.

Oh, we're completely back to square one.

It's like Bruce Springsteen's beautiful song once step forward, two steps back.

Well, no, I don't want to say it's dangerous for there to be a blanket on a seat in lieu of seat belts, But I don't think it's dangerous to put a lot of people are Like you mentioned it. You put it into the atmosphere, into the universe. Now, what are the chances something terrible is going to happen right after I say it's going to happen. That's why every time I park my car, I say loudly, I hope no one breaks into my car, because then like it's gonna happen. What are the chances I think of it?

Okay, No, you should know that's very true.

Yeah. Wait, don't be so sure. It might be a wizard.

Okay, but like every other way that you're not identified or labeled, you don't act wizardy.

That's right.

You don't get in my face with your wizardness.

I don't see wizards. Just we're all one.

We're we Oh, I see, I see, I see. Okay, Sorry, we're just a block away.

We're a block away.

And but anyway from Georgia for Georgia, Hardstark our guest today, I was gonna say thank you to whoever recommended Latex Gloves.

Yeah, whoever's behind Breddy Stonellis it's his ghost writer.

It's probably j McInerney.

Oh, j McInerney. Every time you list I can only assume that's another author. I think it's designed to make me feel stupid. So if you could, because I am the oppressor whereas you are not, can't you just mentioned eighties sitcom actors, other stuff I grew up on. There were no books in my home.

You want to do this all allan sick style.

Yeah, let's do that. I'm equally flexible giggling just because I know who that is.

We'll never talk about books again.

I'm happy now that it went viral the Crystallida Aerobics Championship hosted by Alan Thick. But it was an edited version where they zoomed in on each competitor from places like the Muscle Shit and Huntington Beach or the Sweat Lodge in Boise, Idaho, and then it would zoom in on them posing and it every time made me laugh.

Yes.

And then there was a really great key and peel sketch where they copied the outfits and the background and the music and everything and they were doing there. Did you see that sketch?

I didn't. I heard about it, man, I heard it was hilarious.

I'm a real fan of that best. I mean, I'm not here to talk about comedy, although that is usually what we talk about.

No, it's that is some quality comedy. What blows me away about that show is every.

Single sketch is funny.

Usually it's like if there's eight sketches, four or funny, right, every single thing they do is hilarious and a great idea.

Yeah, and it just what you watch that and then you get, you know, retroactively more angry at Saturday Night Live.

Yes, retroactively retro I think I think Saturday Life is for kids in college who are like super drunk.

I think that's what it's for. Yeah, and everybody else. It's like, you know, it's like you.

Can't sit around criticizing, like, oh I don't like Barney, Well that's for babies, so of course you don't like it. Of course, Raffy Thomas the tank engine.

It's not for you.

Tell Tubby with a coat hanger for a head. That brought along a lot of abortion debate.

Oh that's right.

Yeah. Are you trying to intimidate the baby face? I mean, are you just letting that baby son know that, Hey, this could have happened.

Baby face son, and the tell Tubby's here. She is running up the street like a champion.

She's athletic as well.

Look at her, Georgie Stark.

She's getting in.

Yay him, Georgia, Hi, how are you you just literally ran up the street?

Hi? I'm Chris, I'm Georgia. We never do that.

I never reach around and actually face I know and welcome.

Hi.

Yeah, grab that bike.

Hi guys, everybody, it's great to meet you, and you see, thank you, how I'm thank you for being part of our podcast.

Thanks for having me. Karen, don't crash, okay, I mean I'm gonna do my best. The seatbelt, yeah, well you can.

I won't, but you can also move the sheet. But then get dog hair on you.

Oh, I'm gonna trust you.

It's a little game we play called danger or dog hair, And thank.

You for playing. I'm taking danger. I'm gonna go to danger.

Yeah, yeah, that's what. You know what, Karen, there's a reason she's driving and I'm not. And here's the weird thing about that. I'm actually an excellent driver.

You are a good driver.

But I cannot multitask talk. You know, I'm gesticulating totally. That would cause an accident. Karen just stays on the ones and twos and is able to think and talk and.

Raise a family. I can do it all.

Surprising that most people can't.

Can't do that, drive and like nurse a child and also sandwiches for the older one. Yeah, yeah, I know what. Why is everyone so so lame?

Yes, we're probably the best, the best of life.

I think in this episode to established that, go ahead, and you're the best in life, you're the best ones.

Yeah, Georgia, do you are? Do you feel comfortable telling us what you were just doing or would.

You rather not? No? Like, yeah, I got I got permission from the person I was doing it. Too great to tell you. So my girlfriend got this girl, not my girlfriend, but my friend who's a girl got diagnosed with a fucking lot. It's gonna get heavy right now, you guys ready for this from a tic? Sorry, No, she doesn't know she got disease, doesn't really know. Think she had it for years and years and just got

Again, you picked danger.

Yeah, I was like, I'm probably not scared of needles. I don't know.

And so you have given an injection and what's what's your How do you feel about putting needles and someone that would bother me?

I'm weirdly fine with it, and I wonder if that makes me a psychopath or just like I can deal with stuff like adversity.

You know, I think you uh, I think that you just handle things. You're the kind of person I would ask to do something. Thank you, because you're a handler of things, you know what I am.

I'm like a paniker until the thing needs to be handled and then I'm like, I got this.

I don't know if I can do it. One of my biggest fears, other than my port fears, is getting let's just RecA, I don't want It's one of my joke about my biggest fear is getting tipped over well to but also getting stabbed would be terrible. Like if you see a knife and it's like, oh my god, it's going in me up. Yeah, I feel like it's got to be awful. Yes, confusing temperature, like so much pain that it's like is this ice.

On my Do you think you feel the pain when you get shot or stabb I.

Think with getting shot from what I know from movies i've seen, it's just a hot it's a hot feeling and you're confused.

Yeah, and you you just suddenly can't move whatever body.

Part that Yeah, yeah, and you say things like I am I hit? Why is this blood? I understand?

I read I heard some crazy thing about like how bears get shot and they don't. They just keep coming at you because they don't understand they're supposed to be hurt or wounded. But humans are like I got shot. I'm probably supposed to eat it on the ground now, oh yeah, until they fall.

Have you ever watched the TV show I Survived? I'm sure my god, I love it. Wait? Is this one of our initial bonding.

I think was that you were telling me about Jorge and I have all the.

Same interests and we learned this that we met, probably like a year ago or whatever. But slowly but surely we realize that all.

The things that we love the most but are kind of embarrassed about, we each love the other thing that much. Yeah, and it's really mostly it's mostly murder, murder murder based things.

Right.

And there's a show called I Survived.

If you've seen it, it's people first hand telling their stories of surviving and a lot of these people get shot, and they it's just like you're saying, they don't feel it right, or they think it's like a loud bang behind them.

It's the craziest thing, like.

A bite they got, like a bite by a bug or something like that.

Yeah, it makes it's not that scary, Like I choose firing squad over stab squad for sure. Yes, yeah, And that's the only point. It's it's awful to get stabbed, but I think just as bad as stab somebody, like I'm defending my home. Oh, this is the grossest, No, that hidden. So it's a small version of that to give someone a needle.

But you're scared of getting You're scared of needles. I know.

You know what when I oddly I thought I had limes disease, but I got this arthritis and I went to the dock because I woke up with it, and I thought, I think I have a tick. I think I had limes disease because my joints were all seized up. And I don't know what your friend's symptoms are, but I was sure because I was in Glacier Park, woke up, couldn't move my arms, and I got arthritis from strap. I kept getting strap throat. It's a bizarre that sucks.

Because yeah, hers is rough, because it's like it's really thick. I hope people listening, So you have to no nothing, the needls like normal, it's not thin, but it's normal, but the but the medication is super thick, so you have to go in very slowly. Who So like for five minutes, I'm like trying to distract her by telling her like gross jokes and stuff, and we're like watch like Beyonce music videos on her phone, just like trying to make her not think about how painful it is.

Now, when you walk up, do you hide the needle behind you like the dentist does you? Do you remember the first day you saw the dentist needle? Like I fell for that for years where he was he hides it behind his back and then he's like pinching, then a pop, but your head's tipped back so you don't see the longest needle going into your mouth.

Right, I remember, and this is weird behavior a doctor when I was a kid smacking my ass and to distract me and I, did you just slap my ass? He's like, no, I put a needle in you right after I slapped it, though, and I was like, oh, that's the best little spanking ever.

I used to sweet, Sorry, why were you ass up at the dentist office because I had to.

Get I don't know what shots all the question that's a kid, Yeah, that's a shot that you get in your butt cheek like like I've never had this, but uh, what's worried? There was a concern about Yeah, I think that was a booster shot, just to like up your morale. The one time I had to get someone I was friendly with said I might have some called gonerye and I was like, well, I'm going to go and get the thing, and the guy was going to put it

And I have to actually never be funny at a nurse.

No, no, not with a man with a needle.

I used to well, I don't know if this is it, but like I used to be a little rebellious teenager and I could like got pierced to my affair amount of times. And so they would do I do this with her now. They would do this thing that wake o. When they're about to pierce it, they'd say one, and then like I'm almost at two, they would put the needle in.

So like you're not waiting.

Is that what you've done with your friends?

That's what I do now, And she knows, so she's like expecting it.

Oh, because you've done.

One where you look on ten.

So it's weird.

Obviously you don't have to get it into a vein or something that might be a really dumb question.

No, you actually you're not to avoid the that's probably easy to do it, right, but it's definitely a weird. And then she gave me like a B twelve shot that she had to like let me take it home because it's whatever. So I'm fucking weird, but like savving yourself with a needle is a whole different story.

Oh my god, And have you tried that?

I did it and it was so weird.

Oh wow, you're tough.

I know, I know.

I can't do that.

It's weird.

Wait, did you what was the effect of B twelve shops supposed to.

Give you more energy if you're lacking in it, you know, now, like a B twelve vitamins? Does it make your belly hurt?

Why does it make your belly? I don't know.

I guess because it's in your belly.

You probably ate on an empty I mean, took one on an empty stomach.

Yeah, it's not supposed to do that.

Yeah, that's bad.

Okay, maybe I'm thinking of zinc.

But the point.

The point is that there's a bunch of medical information that may or may not be correct.

In today's show, one of the new facts is Georgia maybe should have been a doctor.

I think that's what this is. That's really still go to it technical institute.

Yeah, I should have been a doctor or a junkie probably, Yeah, it should have been unkie.

Right, So is she she has officially been diagnosed with limes diseases?

Oh man, I know?

And what was and did they say it's a tick. Isn't it always a tick?

Or I don't know if it's always a tick. But like they're saying that there's ticks like in Griffith Park, like right by us. It's not just in the This is a pummer. I'm sorry, guys, No, I like it.

Okay. I'm turning up the car mic just so we can pick up some of there's rain, just to be dramatic. And also by that you're mispronouncing dangerous. I'm just kidding, Georgia. You're gonna be fine. She's a best driver.

I'm gonna believe it. I totally have a fear of car accidents, so I'm gonna just to you, okay.

Yeah, so I just drive kind of slow, okay, especially in the rain. Everyone you know, Oh, she just gotta be preventative. One of my favorite things that happened. Me and my sister and my mom used to spend a lot of time in the car together. And this is one of my favorite things that me and my sister laughed at because my mom would talk but not really listen to what we were saying to her. So one time she was going, oh, your friend, your friend Heidi got a terrible disease.

It's the one that makes you really tired. And I go limes disease and she goes no, and I go in limes disease and she goes no. And my sister and I laughed about that for twenty years.

Were you a kid where you said that because that's clever.

Yeah, I was like fifteen or sixty years.

That's good.

I like that the best.

It's pouring rain.

Rains and it has been all day. I kind of love it.

I did too. It's exciting and it is really exciting.

So yeah, what else is going on besides did your needlework? And I know that you have your what is it like?

You have a video.

Series where you guy, you and Ali make drinks that's based off of your the original YouTube videos that were so poppy.

Yeah, we kind of started this light. We kind of became like the cocktail experts accidentally. M So now we have like all these web series where we create cocktail, weird cocktails. And we had a traveling TV show where we traveled and drank and ate and had fun and through a party and like and then yeah, now we're trying to pitch new shows. You think about that I really, I really like it.

Silent, well, like I'm an alcohol at that's all.

I wanted.

A little deja vu, did you like, Yeah, you've probably seen some of it.

Well no, I feel like you've been in the car saying that before. And I'm not good with de javo. I always think it's ghosts or something.

Probably is.

And who do you do that with?

With Ali Ali Wore? She's like a pretty redhead.

Do you know her? Maybe that's maybe. I did a show or something with her and she talked about that and I met your crime partner. Yeah, it is illegal what you do.

These girls, what they do to cocktail?

Right, Well, the cocktails are fine. We just slip people's throats sometimes.

Right right right, It is fair. It's fine. It's hard to do though.

Up close.

Those jugulars jugulars. Probably.

Yes, I did a I did a broadcast. I did International waters with her, and she was great and she talked about animals and she knows a lot about bugs and animals and animals. Okay, I met your partner and she was delightful.

Thank you, thank you, thank you her loving her.

Yes, I just relay the mess.

Any kind of indication that I'm not a piece of ship. Is that Alley's good? Yeah?

She was not at all a piece of shit.

That's pretty great.

Yeah, do you guys want we could go get her and I'll get out.

I don't. Here's the thing, have another microphone.

I do not.

Let's just work with what we have.

She she and I have a podcast as well, and it's really hard. You just don't want to fourth, Like a fourth person just kills it.

What's it called?

It's called slumber party with Ali in Georgia.

Oh, slumber mispronounced? What did you say? Flumber party? Weird? Oh? I have these earphones.

What is lumber party?

What that was real?

I like flumber party. Just it's really everyone's having pillow fights. But everyone keeps tripping and slurring their words.

You talk about different cuts of wood.

That's the lumber, and there's a flow beyond every other. That they cut someone's hair was just.

Really bad haircuts left right and center.

Lumber part Someone thought that was a good idea. No, we have a we have like a cheapie and we get in there with the guests in our pajamas and we like ask the slumber party questions. Ghos stupid e ghost stories or like, what's your favorite midnight secret snack when no one's looking?

That's fun?

Yeah, like fun, what and.

What's your favorite midnight secret snack? Have you answered that's my favorite?

Well, it always changes, and that's like my favorite question because I love, like snacks are the fucking best thing in the world. Yeah, so all eat like well people had like when someone had like that, they dipped, they dipped peanut butter cups and salsa.

I know, I don't like that person or their nature.

But it's kind of like no one's looking. I love that.

Okay.

I do a lot of toasts, toasts with things on them.

One time, with microwave popcorn, I crumbled up part of a frozen butter finger in it and I jiggled it and I was not high. I thought it through. I thought it and it covered each piece of popcorn so evenly, and it was the most delicious thing with the combination of the already butter on it and then a butter finger, double butter sweet salta together. Oh man, even just now, absolutely just talking about it.

I would am.

I actually lived off of for quite some time.

This would be what I had for dinner when I would come home every night from work, bag of microwave popcorn, Open up a bag of eminem. Pour that in there, shake it around, let them sit, and then as you eat the popcorn, every once in a while you'll hit it eminem that's pre melted because it's in your freshly out of the microwave bag of micro popcorn.

You know, we actually had that. Salazar had a similar one with with peanut but miniature peanut butter cups. Oh, same situation. Brilliant, equally brilliant.

No, but that seems like it would be messy.

Probably.

What I love about the m and ms is they're self contained.

Oh they don't melt, Yeah.

I mean they melt inside themselves and then they like our little bursts of chocolate.

It's sweet.

I like that pretty great. Snacks are the best, they really are.

I actually bought the stuff to make Velveta based caeso from the grocery store the other day.

That's how gross it is getting for me.

Well, remember what I got. It brought to the what were those oscars?

Yes, I got a thing of the like cheese and a tube.

Cheese. What you get in like a cheese ball without the nuts that they put in the thing and I just ate fucking half of it.

Yeah, that stuff's weird. It looks like Subert and then it tastes like the hardest cheese of all time.

I really like trashy snacks. I feel like people need to get over it. It's being ashamed of those things.

Can I tell you what?

I've done it a million times?

I discovered a thing that that I can never buy again. The people that the good people from.

Nutder Butters make a thing called the peanut butter wafer, and it is it almost looks like really.

Large Uh.

Sorry, what do you call that stuff that comes into package that you pop the bubble bubble wrap? It looks like huge bubble wrap, but it's peanut butter and wafer in.

Each bubble there's peanut butter exactly.

The thing is this thing.

It's like a tray. It's like a cookie tray, but instead it's the wafers. Oh wow, but it's all It's all connected. I can't even explain it to you.

I saw it. I've never seen it before, so I saw it in the grocery store OL and I was like, well, I have to try it. It's new. And then the second I bit into it. I was like, you can never buy this again.

I really got mad when Keebler came out with what is basically Samoa's Girl Scout cookies, because I'm like, fuck you, Like, I will eat the entire thing, but only once a year when the girl Scouts are selling them.

Right, You're basically these elves are taking money from children, human children, more legitimate.

Right, And it was I was disappointed in them. Yeah, that's kind of what's the name of those samoas? Oh, you mean theiler ones. I don't know. They're like they're like sheepishly like caramel, like coconut cluster, like you, I know your samosa and different alpha you dick, not even a different alph. It looks exactly the thing.

It's just a direct rip off.

Yeah, you did a pretty good Keebler elf voice.

It sounded like again it's cocaine closer cluster.

Remember we're talking to me. You're like, it's fucking you dicks. This idiot running across the street.

In short, you're so stupid.

Let's go let's go back and beat him up, Let's feed him the boots, jump him. Gotta be funny, hilarious when people don't know it's coming. He's going about their lives like everything is fine.

Surprise, you're getting a good stamb.

Not fine at all. Now we're downtown. Just because I drove and drove on Sunday.

We are. We're in Chinatown. This is exciting, pretty exciting.

Do you ever come to Chinatown, Georgia.

Once in a blue moon. There's a good barbecue place. I'm like, Chinatown fine, but there's like a Texas barbecue place.

That's alright.

That is it?

The text next place where you can get breakfast, tacos and everything. No home state.

I just thought, oh that place is great.

Yeah yeah, yeah, I've been there. It's hard to find. I spent some time in Texas and I got pretty used.

To like a text state.

Yeah. Yeah yeah.

My therapist's office is next door. So after therapy, I'm like.

Yay, eggs, I should get therapy.

What oh go get it?

Should I go get it? Go get there?

You have not had therapy?

No?

No, I should Huh.

I feel like if you have a podcast, you're definitely a candidate for therapy.

Oh there's so many other things.

Well, you're halfway home. Yeah, I mean we definitely. We like to shop around a lot of our problems.

On this right, I've been blurting problem, Yeah, I just shout them out.

Yeah, I just I feel like you're doing everyone a favor because everyone thinks that they're the only person who's like got to his idle thoughts. Right. But yeah, then you yell at at someone and they're like, oh, they do too. It's the best.

It's there's that's our it's the other thing that George is. We both love this person named Brene Brown.

We talk about that night Thanksgivings. Yes, oh my god. We were at Thanksgiving with like a bunch of like dudes, like comedy dudes, and like everyone had made all this food and it was super awkward and everyone's being really quiet and I can't eat quietly and make be really fucking uncomfortable. So we're like sitting stuffing our faces and

Instead of so you just turned it into vulnerable giving.

Yeah, yeah, let's not be vulnerable.

I'm thankful for no, not thankful.

About yourself.

But what was great about it was did everyone do it?

No? Yeah?

I mean did they?

Yeah?

See I had gotten stone that day while I was making the mashed potatoes, and I had what was essentially a nervous breakdown where I started to get ready to go to this party, and then I was like, I don't think these people are really my friends.

I don't have friends.

It was one of those kind of things.

Because most of the people that were there were people that I were new to me, So I only had like two old friends or like even people I've known for a while.

I didn't know that though, like no one ever knows that. Everyone thinks that you're the one who's been around forever and they have to be you know, like new people don't know that.

And well it's funny too, is that that thing of like there are people who tell me, especially when it's a comedy hangout, it's that thing of like, oh I find you intimidating, so that I have to be this weird thing that I'm not, which is like super like weirdly friendly, like like friendly like sound of music friendly, where I just am not that way.

So then it's like, oh, she's intimidating, and it's like, so anyway.

In their face, I like you, I just don't want to, damn it.

So when Georgia yelled out, let's all say something vulnerable, which is like straight out of the Breneme.

Brown and I was in the middle of it at the moment that books daring greatly. Everyone go get it person, and it's such a good thing.

It's like it's just basically like we're all suffering terribly all the time, and the only solution to it is to be vulnerable and share how we're suffering, because then other people will realize they're not the only ones.

That makes sense to think they're the worst.

And so her yelling this mill this party where I was like I should leave. I look terrible. It was all my weird bullshit, and it was just like I immediately was like, I love her, She's my best friend. It was the best.

Oh my god, are you talking about Burne Brown.

I'm like yeah.

But then later that night, I like, because I'm also weird at parties, So like, later that night I took Vince, my boyfriend Indian, like you know, and sometimes when I smoked hout I get really paranoid, like Karen was like I would have lost it, and so I pulled him in the kitchen just to like check in. And I was like, am I am I being okay? Like I'm not saying anything's like crazy stupid or like because I'm just always nervous of like Georgia, why are you yelling

When because I get so paranoid when I'm high. Yeah right, I'm like I should check my band to check in with, you know. But I it's so it's coming from a real place, Like I really am acting dumb and ridiculous?

Are you? Are you just you just think people are anymore?

Yeah, I'm like, am I be an idiot? And never it's like no. And then the next day, sure enough, they're like, well you were saying the same thing.

Maybe after you got confirmed that you weren't being an idiot. You were like, well, then I can just be an idiot.

Because I'm not being one, right, Yeah, if I'm not high, I can be an idiot and I don't get all upset with myself.

But the thing is, I think the reason we get high or get drunk or go to a party is so we can do whatever we want and act like an idiot.

That's the point of a party.

So the idea that you're supposed to be partying and doing it perfectly or not making an idiot of yourself is like.

But that's kind of the point.

And other people around you who are doing that, I don't want to talk to them. I'm how boring are you?

Yes?

Exactly, like people that are kind of like, well, and where do you work?

It's like things like that where I'm like, yeah, And if you don't like me because I was making fart noises with my fucking mouth, I thought it was funny the night. You probably wouldn't have liked me when I was over the first.

The first, the funnest game ever, and not to interrupt, but to make a fart noise. And then when Take and I live together, we do it all the time, Like I'd make the fart noise and she'd make the face like she was farting. So I just go and then she's going and like whence at her eye, and there's no way to do that and not laugh. It's impossible to fart for someone else with your mouth and not just laughing.

Part noises are incredible, the best. And I gotta say, I think farting's funny too. It's the funniest, like if it's the right circumstances where like the person's not gonna smell it, and it's like it's like an ending to a joke. It's like a bad joke that doesn't fly.

Because we just talked about that mountain man and how he did a you get a spin in the middle of the road, like, oh, what's the show.

Where she spins around Project Runway.

He did a spin just like Tyler Moore. He's a mountain man. He looks like the browny towel man, but he's he's got an old fleece so it looks like he's stabbed people.

And we're in the middle of the echo part, like shitty echo parts, and he did.

A perfect like parallel finally alive.

He fucking vulnerable as ship and I.

Think and invite him to Thanksgiving.

One of the belches, one of the first belches Georgia did it?

Do you notice it was?

It literally moved curtains and it was.

It made me laugh so hard because I was really, of course, as we've said.

A thousand times, insecure and felt really weird.

And then she was just sitting there drinking or drink and then ripping these belches that were.

Like beyond and then going sorry, sorry, And in my mind, I'm not sorry to not do, not sorry at all.

And I'm aware, are your dress and I don't look like I wear like an adorable like I look like I could be on fucking Zoe Duchanel's show or something. Then I think like a belch coming from a girl that looks like that, and it's no apologies because I was dressed.

Like I am dressed now, which is how I've been dressed for five years, and so I was all insecure, like I don't have a Thanksgiving dress and matching sweater set, god damn it, like I'm not, I'm not I'm not living up to all the girls at this party.

And then she's like.

As told me that. I was like, oh, so humiliate, and I walked out and I was like everyone's been talking about me belching and like I've asked me to tell me. And then Glennis Matt McCarthy's wife out of nowhere is like this adorable thing fucking belched so loudly, and I almost hugged her. That's great, Like didn't know and just did, and I was like, oh, thank you so much.

That's not that's like when Adam Sandler pete on himself to make the little kid feel better.

No, what, yeah, sorry, No, it's a movie, right.

Yeah, a movie that I shouldn't even reference because it's not cool to like it anymore.

But the Devil's Son, No, the good one.

Where he goes back to school Bill and all his friends are fifth graders and every time he graduates a grade he has a graduation party.

That's not weird, any of that promise, right, right, You're just hanging out with little kids.

This kid pieces pants and then he puts water on his pants and says, what are you guys talking about? Being your pants is the coolest and all right, and they all high five the little kid and he's cool.

Oh, that never would have it. I got pants in fifth grade and no one pulled their pants down to be like, no, it's cool to have your underwear pants.

There's a guy he became a marine sniper. He came back from the rines and he was very scary and big from doing steroids, and he had killed all these people as a sniper. Fun but when India that, I'm sure he had a good time. It's part all this movie. When we were in fifth grade, I was standing on a snowball, a giant one that was going to be part of its structure, I guess, and I was up there dancing and he came and pulled my pants down.

It was a definitely a formative moment because it was like, oh, I'm the butt of the joke now, and you've all seen my like my like princess underwear, so.

It's awful to get. It's a dumb prank, that's the worst, that's a salt.

Assault.

It's well yeah, because it's almost like it's a funny concept, but then the reality of it is so horrifying. Like my friend tried to pants me in front of the class and we were seeing in high school.

It was the eighties and everybody's like.

Pants were elastic and like para me and stuff, And thank fucking god, she put her hands on my hips before she pulled down, and I clamped my legs.

Together and spun around and slapped her across the stace I had my period.

It would have been the most disgusting thing in front of the class. Literally, I was looking on the teacher's desk like doing something great has been It would have been a shit show.

I can't believe a friend was going to do that to you.

Also led some of are really really? That was an example.

Are you still friends with her?

Yes?

I love her, But she was like it was that kind of thing, like she didn't think it through. It was like good times, you know, when you're just like you're high on the good time.

It's like a punchline.

Yeah, And I was like, thank god.

I mean a couple of things like that happened in high school where there one time, the one time I farted in class, the bell rong exactly at the same time, and I sat there like, oh my god, it was a miracle.

Like that was a real living So farting and like, farting does make me really used to make me so scared until I like owned it and just did it.

Yeah, but it's different for girls. Yeah, all's farting. It's pretty awesome.

It was in a five year relationship and I farted in front of him an accident twice.

Oh none of you were supposed to be attracted them. Then it's awful, It's really Yeah, it's the worst thing you can do.

I had a boyfriend that thought it was hilarious if I farted, like would immediately start laughing and it so I could use it as kind of like a punctuation thought.

It was the funniest thing of all time.

One time I farted and everyone knew and I'm like, no, it was the chair, that thing where you but I did with the chair somehow with my folly ability, just made a ripped the exact same noise. Nobody's like, oh, it was a chair. I'll never forget that shame because I was a chair. You're young, That chair smells.

Do you guys remember the kid elementary school who would accidentally call the teacher a mommy was just like thrip into them. I could see that, and I'm so glad I never did that that.

You never that in like barfing, Yeah, they clean it up of kitty litterly.

Oh, no, one knows. I have this storytelling meing that I do about how I remember going to like my childhood like video store, shitty video store, and like some kid had always just barfed and they'd always put kitty litter over it. Yeah, I just left it.

Yes, Yeah, that's that's like I can still see the first kid bar from grammar school with the kitty litter on it in my mind very clearly.

It never goes away.

Kitty litter gross, Yeah, I guess. I guess it's absorbent.

Yeah, it just absorbs it and then they can sweep it up.

That or sawdust, Yeah, my dad always had sawdust on hand. Wow, for oil changes, not for when the car threw up an he The next day, this guy, this marine, he came with a twenty dollar bill. We're in fifth grade and he's like, hey, sorry, I depants to you, and he like kind of U secretly went to give me this twenty bucks And I'm like I don't want your goddamn blood money. I did not and my I didn't have money in my fan and he didn't have money in his fan.

That's kind of nice. He's a car accident head on stration head. Wow, look at this guy to Pancha.

I mean that Honda clearly was in the wrong. I don't need to be a forensics This guy was no.

This guy was going you is.

Let's get some Let's get some blinkers on people.

I don't get a car accidents.

Please, we won't.

We won't.

There's no way I'm going twenty miles an hour on sunset. It's raining so hard, really kind.

It's adorable when it rains.

All the kiddies later in the world couldn't absorb these dogs.

I don't know about that. And I I have only like cute jackets. I don't have any functional like raincoats or anything like people who live in places that this happens at.

I have never in my life owned an umbrella. If you guys, I mean, yes, sometimes they're in and out of your life, but I've never purchased and had a repeat use.

I think that's a guy thing.

I get maybe, so I get that like I'm not, And I think it's very fitting that the one I have had all year is a Sex and the City umbrella to the one side of it, just as an HBO logo, and it's like, hey, I work in the business. Everybody's raining.

I still Yeah, think about seeing teamster, Like you can tell that this guy is a teamster and he's being like a movie sweater from like seven years ago, and like, oh you fucking did lighting on that. Yeah, still wearing the sweater.

Flee.

Oh No, they're the letterman's jackets of this town.

That's true.

You really are the people. When you're going steady with someone, you usually give them your universe soul.

You're Caroline in the City.

Thank you, Caroline in the City. I was just gonna go studio and that show the fact that she was a cartoonist, syndicated car that of course had a giant, three million dollar studio apartment.

Yeah.

What about news radio? Can we get a news radio hat in here? Yeah?

If you're dating someone and they give you your news radio hat with a yeah, yeah, they're definitely cheating on their own.

I love news radio so much too.

It was great.

It was so good.

It was so good. What's on TV now?

It's do is good?

Nothing? Right?

Well tonight the Jinx is just watching that my friends. You guys, what my god, you have to watch it. It's HBO.

It's new HBO documentary series about this guy who is accused of several murders, but he's insanely rich and so he's never done time.

Everyone's a different episode, jinks.

Yeah, No, it's always that guy.

I was was watching when they found parts of a body in the river the first one. Yes, that's him.

Oh yeah, I.

Don't want to give it away. I haven't seen this.

Wow, what is it's it's a full on network show.

It's HBO series.

Yeah, they show bodies on HBO.

No, but like like the limb of a body and the innerds of it, like not sexy bodies. I guess someone people think that's sexy. Was it?

Is it the first episode where they show what's in the bags that they pulled out?

Yeah, they were just opening the trash bags that they found in a river with body parts in it. When you text me that you were here, I.

Was like, I can't have to care about the Yeah, it's really good. And then they start interviewing the guy that's accused. And he you just got to see it.

Is he the one who started dressing up like a woman, the old woman?

Yeah, and it's called jinks. It's called the jinks because I always I just think, buy me a coach. Someone slugs. You had something to do with the Folkswagon. I don't like contest show.

You get killed.

Instead of getting punched in the leg.

You get killed, but you get to be on the show.

So I think that's a Yeah, it's one day. It's one day rate, right, because you don't last the next day.

Now, Georgia, you also recently were on Drunk History, a very popular episode of Drunk History that my.

Sister I want to see it.

So your sister saw this episode, Yes, Georgia and Alley and said, oh my god, you have to see this. These people who you don't know are amazing. And you said, I do know her.

I said, once again, you can't tell me anything because I know everything.

All Oh, you shut it in your face, you face really Hollywood, Yeah you did that, and it was something else.

Did you get crazy drunk?

Well, we had planned to, like we were like we're going to beat the system and like because we know booze, you know. So we're like, okay, we're gonna drink blood casodas that we're going to buy a really nice bottle of vodcast. We're not feeling shitty, right, And then they're like, okay, we're gonna get there at like seven to start filming, so start drinking at like five thirty. Oh wow, like okay, And they didn't show up to like eight, We didn't

It's like a specific to Chicago.

Yeah, it's like to keep sailors warm. It's it's just awful, it's awful.

It tastes like what's it taste?

It tastes like an amorrow, like a disgusting like if you had whiskey that's been sitting in a bathtub for years and there's rest in it. Yeah, so we take shots of that and then we were just drunk, and then we told a story of Lewis and Clark.

The shower in my basement growing up was really gross and there's always spiders in it. But there's a tub upstairs. It was pretty nice. But my mom was always making plum wine in it, like surgical tubes and the fermenting process and serios and a giant bin and we had this plum tree and that's all. It was good for your mom's Yeah, I mean, early on, that's how we looked at it.

Alcohol.

Later on it was more that that, you know.

But at first it was just like I really.

And I'm a child, so I shouldn't be saying this, but can I please have a bath?

Yeah? That's so sad?

Well, I mean, but so sometimes I would just kind of bathe around the bin, and because it wasn't like in the tub, it's just the bin. Where else you going to put a big bin filled with I told my friend Josh about it, and he his house was a mess and he said he somehow looked in a book.

Ever, What does he do now? Because he's really smart.

He is a smart person. Yeah, he's uh. And he used to just be a drunk that gotten fights. He was hilarious always and smart. But there's limited activities in Montana.

But well, Irvine too is just like what are you gonna do with your Yeah?

Yeah, and you're right. Yeah, he's some kind of a technical, uh computer repair person.

My brother is now a computer engineer. But when we were kids, he was like it was like the Internet wasn't a thing yet. My mom had but he had a computer and he would like post to boards and my mom used to have to take his computer keyboard to work with her every day, or he'd just stay home from school and do that. And one time he took some kids were picking on him, as they do. And he took up a dozen eggs and put them in his closet for a month and then threw them

That is malice and.

Right.

He was like twelve, and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, he's cool. He's got a kid, now, that's great. I'm sure good. He's teaching him some shitty things.

He's like, that's the best.

So did he talk about where the kids are? Oh, eggs and they're rotten. It added to that character for me to be coughing.

Rotten like super Jewish. For somebody.

Get killed to eggs.

That's yeah, it was pretty sweet.

All of this is reminded me of when I used to drink Yegermeister for some reason, which is what I thought you were going to say.

The other maloof tasted Yeah, Adrian maloof, But I mean remember drink.

Yeah, okay, you need to walk.

Are you doing an egg character again?

I really want to get it off the ground. No, I just was trying to stifle something. I don't know.

I remember taking Oh hell yeah, Jagger was the best in high school, the best.

It was weird.

It was like it was like you were hallucinating kind of yeah, it was like tasted kind of like candy. It wasn't gross yet because.

We were kids, and I've always heard that it is the worst, low quality bottom of the barrel, like what it's left over from some more legitimate process and they're like, oh, what if we drink the syrupe residue. Hey it's and then with some remarketing and a logo they kind of made it that's popular poison that kills your brain.

It's kind of annoying though, because there's like there's like amorros is like a thing that like and like like in the cocktail world, and like bartenders always sip in Amorrow and it's like, well, that's what the same fucking thing is, yeager, you just don't want to say, what are you sipping jaeger myst Like it's the same fucking thing, dicks. I'm sorry, I really don't like it.

Are partenders have.

Turned into these lunatic like hot nerds totally are just like weirdly, they might as well be talking about like Spider Man with the level of nerds.

The pretentious ship. They're pretentious dicks who wants you need to have something up on you.

And we're talking more like mixologists, the ones with suspenders that look like stalin.

Yeah, not your symalans in the world. No, there's still people that can just hold down a bar and wire, just wipe a glass and make small talk and they don't have to like hold up a thing and be like you.

Know what this is like?

Fuck off scientists.

You can talk by what they do to cit trius before they put it in your drink. If they like light it on fucking fire and like that's the ship out of it. Then it's like a.

Rub it behind each ear. Get out of here.

Then you're a dick. Yeah, they just throw in a grow lime wedge that's probably got malaria over Yeah.

Could we just address most limes in most bars?

Come on, But how do we feel about about our immune systems being better equipped to deal with when the end days come? Because you've been eating these disgusting bar lines?

Yes?

No, am I just pulling myself.

No, that's real.

I think that's a good that's a good approach get the immune system up by constantly testing it with that disgusting bacteria from a bar line.

I'm just terrified of drug resistant anagotic resistant germs. So I feel like the more weird stuff I eat and do, the more likely I'm equipped to deal with them.

You're you're the type of person will just rub your apple right on your sweater and then go ahead and have it. No that kind of thing.

No, that's disgusting.

Well, I'm just.

Kidding you ideas you don't know how dirty my sweat. Yeah, I think there is something to that. When I was a kid, other than being super sick, like convulsions and unexplaining the strange stuff, just little stuff like that, I would never get sick, And I think it's because I like hung out in a dirty sandbox where that my cat also used as a letter box.

You would straight licked.

Orkno straight up cats hit in my mouth.

Yell. They do say people who grew up with pets are are better.

The urine the barn is poison. I mean there is, But if you grew up with a bunch of cats and their VCS is everywhere, you're not going to get sick from some bar lime. And as a kid, I was in a lot of bars, All.

The better for it.

That's true.

I agree with all of this.

A modern day bar lime would have killed an entire you know, army in the eighteen hundreds.

There's definitely a.

Lot of the things I say, I don't think out you guys, go.

Ahead and follow what we're talking.

I agree. I was watching this thing about TB Yeah, and like how the reason women's skirts got shorter is because they were just sweeping their fucking skirts through the dirt and the spit of tuberculosis world. And then they bring it back into their apartments and like give it to their kids and ship.

Oh wait, what they what what their skirts like.

When Marilyn Monroe no, like like nineteen hundreds, sh had like Victorian long like don't show your gas.

Sit on the built in spring as well as my lady.

Right, and you're a whore if you show like an angle bone, right.

I still true. I still think that.

Yeah, amen, But those skirts would get all like gross because of dirt and stuff in the streets, and like you couldn't spit in the street anymore. There was like a law pass certain states anyway, you guys, positive, Wait, there's nothing nigger about any of this.

Oh wait, I think I just drove back right to the scene of that car accident. It's such a huge circle.

What if someone shot someone because they were angry.

Because they were just like, God, damn it.

I can't afford this. I don't want to see it. I see that before stabbing. It is to the left. Here, it is like we're just checking out of sure.

Yeah, you have really good people, you guys.

Yeah. I care about that guy, and I'm just good. They have nothing to worry about.

There's lights.

It looks like they exchanged information.

Someone's pulling out a gun.

Oh my god, Oh my god. I hope that's fake. Why do I feel hot and cold at the same.

Time, Chris, you gotta.

Away.

It's we're double war.

This is called foreshadowing. You're trying to look for my house because I can happily tell you no.

I just wanted to make sure we got a full hour with you, but we were like kind of fudging it up.

This is going to work out perfectly. I did. I replaced the batteries with other dead batteries, so I am.

We got a little bit of juice here, But okay, good because then we're right up.

Look at this puddle happened. That's one time it was raining like this, And there are certain like maybe it's because it doesn't rain that much in La. That drainage isn't always up to speed. And I was on Vine. It doesn't matter what street I was on. Anyway, all these cars I've had, they were just stopped and I'm like, oh my god, everyone's being carjacked. I should go slow and just look at them. And there was no lights reflecting, so I could not see that I was about to

And I was like, you each deserve twenty dollars, but I don't have any, and they all, right, money yeah for what they did, and you know, they're like, we're still you know could they were like thug dudes.

They had like face tattoos. And it's not just because they like the Dodge.

It happened when I once my car like died in the middle of the intersection. I was like, this like twenty year old person, so I didn't know how the world worked, and like what you do?

I still don't know. I still don't know.

Well, apparently what happens is that like everyone ignores you if you're in a busy intersection and the only person who gets out is this like insanely huge tattooed person who looks like he drove trucks until his like parole officer, like he was terrifying and like single handedly like pushed my car off the street and I was like thank you, and I was totally crying. And then he like he

Oh I love that. Yeah, these guys, it was the same thing. They're just like at the end, they're like, have a good night, and I'm like, and I didn't realize until they were gone that they so saved car, this guy's Porsche. It was like a cartoonishly rich couple in a porch that they hit it and that car's ruined. It just sunk. And the next day it was a graveyard of cars that all had wet computers. Oh my, and they were total. They were because they stayed in

Yeah.

Yeah, he's like more of a man than I think.

The secret to that is that most people are pieces of shit when they can be, and people surprise you.

Yeah, these guys really I felt Yeah, I felt bad for judging them.

That reminds me of that time that the old man who I thought was gonna yell at us. Remember it happened on the podcast.

Yeah, yeah, there's an old man and we were like parked douple parks like this, and this old man came up.

And I was like, Oh, he's gonna be all that you have to say. It's just like there's a parking spall right up there, and we're both like, what what a beautiful world. I think to myself, I can go stand in it.

You guys have some time. It'll just take me a minute because my leg doesn't work. Now give me five hundred dollars.

Yeah.

That's when you're pessimistic because you get surprised so often.

That's right, That is that is the silver lining to being negative all the time, all the little surprises of people just being normal and nice.

Who knew? And I have to go back into my house where my boyfriend and Matt McCarthy are watching wrestling.

Oh, wrestle time, this is your house?

No, but I'll go here anyways.

Oh did you already eat?

No?

Do you want to go eat?

Yeah, let's go eat.

Okay, let's eat.

Okay, you want to eat?

Yeah?

Should we go to the one on one that's for Christmas? Car is Yeah, let's do that's my hang. Okay, we'll driving me?

Should I dry? No?

No, no, I'll totally drive you home.

Well before we go eat because we can't. No one wants a podcast with eating guys except for Mac Newts and who is great and you should listen to it, But no one wants I snack and I eat it. It's the way I eat. I'm talking about the way even if I'm not eating a banana, chunks fly out of my mouth. So we're going to wrap this up. And it was a great time. You're really fun, Georgia.

You guys are shaking.

Oh sure, I just do that. And Karen, good to see you again.

And you do you have any plugs?

Oh? Yeah?

Before we listen to slumber party podcast with Ali and Georgia.

What network are you goes on? Sarah and Farrel audio?

Tell me about the TV show? Is that still happening?

We're on a show on Sunday Night's called Unique Sweets on Cooking Channel.

That's the best.

Yeah, And we have you know, our online bullshit.

And and if you can watch theirs and all of the drunk histories, it's great and also gone on the iTunes and give our podcast a rating a positive, one negative, then eat your shorts. But if you don't like it, cow bo you shirts and get off my butterfinger man. And you've been listening to Do you Need a Ride?

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