Ep. 41 - Sara Schaefer

I leave in I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be.

There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a Turmanol and gay. We want to send you off inside.

We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?

Now?

Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Mhm, welcome? Do you need a ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks, This is Karen Kilga.

We are in beautiful Burbank, the city that Leo built, right j Leno?

Kind of? I don't know.

Anytime I hear Burbank, I think of the area you live, though.

Should I have not said that?

You know they're all going to come, all the.

People that are well, they're probably already perched outside Jay Leno's house.

Yeah, he's the most murderable.

But I believe that you say Burbank is the city that Jay Leno built because of the acid washdown of dome that is, oh yeah, put up over the city in nineteen ninety two.

Yes, yes, the acid it's acid washed on the top and the bottom.

Letting you know it's.

Okay to do denim on denim.

It's always been okay for old j you.

Know what, I've heard that it is okay to do denim on denim these days, I think you can.

I wouldn't go chambray on a lightwash gene.

Right, it depends on it's it's nice to do it with a darker denim.

Yeah, you don't.

You don't want to look like you work at I don't know, yeah, an acid factory.

You're right, he dresses like he's he works at some sort of a manual labor job when he's doing his jaywalkings.

I mean, we are talking about something that happened in the past too. We could probably right, let's forget.

Let's talk about the future.

Yes, how about those.

Let's talk about jay Leno's future.

He's going to go to Mars. I volunteered him to go to Mars. Oh, and he will surely die there.

We can only we can only hope. Oh why am I being so?

We're bandwagoneering about hating jay.

Len What else could we say?

Burbank is well known for new wave entertainment, where We're about to pick up our next guest, Sarah Shaeffer.

So exciting, Yeah, very exciting.

So we know Sarah of course from her podcast.

Nikki and Sarah and the show they had on MTV Nicky and Sarah Live.

Which was great.

Sarah was the second name in the title of that project.

They probably did it alphabetically. Yeah, I don't.

I don't think either one of them had any kind of dominance over the other. You know right where it is?

Do we? Okay? We're here right?

Wow, we're here that he might be her? Yeah, that's how quick. That's how close we were.

That's amazing. Well, we're gonna have a nice full Is this a red carpet? Oh? Comedy dynamics A seminar?

That is her.

Let's ask her about the comedy dynamic seminar. I don't know what that is, but I did just see what.

If I Hi, Sarah, Hi, how are you hop on in back?

Hi?

There?

Oh my gosh, there's I'm picking up the mic.

Perfect.

It's so good to meet you in person. Finally, because I'm a huge fan, so this is.

Really Sarah Karen Karen, Sarah, I'm.

A huge fan of yours.

Oh my gosh, I'm so flattered.

We have a mutual friend. Scotty landis love me so Scotty right.

I think your mic has fallen off, Karen.

Yeah, Oh I don't know, but it'll Oh you guys, I know, I know.

It was the back. I'm back, so just the itunds like a cinnamon roll in here.

Does it?

Oh good, because I have nice compliment.

I have dogs, so I'm a cinnamon roles. Yeah. There's all those chefs.

They horrible shape, both very fat. Were you at the Comedy Dynamics seminar?

Yeah, it was a seminar. No, it was a taping they're doing like a It was like a stand up show that they filmed and they're going to put it on their all across all their digital platforms.

Oh, it's platforming.

It's hard digitizing those platforms.

Yeah.

And I did a stand up set in front of us sort of. You know, these things are always a little weird when you do stand up in They set it up pretty nice, you know, it seemed like a club setting.

Was it stand up in front of like your management people?

No, thankfully there was a real audience there. They were a little they weren't the best audience. But you know, they assured us that they were going to make it sound great, and I was like, ooh, left track, thank you?

Yeah, yeah, what else could that mean?

Yeah, but I mean, you know, they mike the audience, so they can probably boost it up a little bit.

And this was just like your management being like, we're just going to make our own stand up show.

No, this they're not my management.

They are We're going to start a rumor that they are.

Please don't like people think that my managers are far less well known. No, the it's I guess comedy Dynamics is a new thing, but New Wave is like, uh, they do specials and albums and they also do a lot of weird post production for films. Not weird, but it's it's a company that does a lot of different things and they're they're trying to put out They're putting out a lot of stand up content.

So yeah, I.

See their logo everywhere. Yeah, maybe it's a motion graphic.

Yeah. New Wave does a lot of specials that you'll see on Netflix. I have an album coming out with them in a.

Few weeks, terrific.

What's called chrysalis.

Oh, my favorite stage.

Of pupil it is. It's my favorite stage too. It's the development and transformation from caterpillar to butterfly.

You guys don't like larvae those assholes as a kid, but now you think they're gross.

Yeah, it has I leave the meaning up to the listeners. There's one Butterfly reference on the album, but it also just represents my This material is like my transformation from a not comedian into a comedian.

So I always think of the song by crazy Town Come My Lady, Come, Come my Lady, or my sugar Pie, or my Butterfly.

You're my butterfly. That's why I brought it up. Yeah, it's funny that I brought it.

I do a cover of that on the.

Just a kind of acoustic rap, saying it out loud.

I'm sorry I brought that guy up. I like to well when that's terrific?

That?

Yeah, how do you approach the I'm looking to launch my second album.

What do you What are you gonna do? What do you do?

I don't know. This is my first album and I've been doing stand up for a long time, so it's like it feels like a long time coming. But it's I'm really proud of how it came out. Just turned in the final edit this week past week.

And where'd you tape it?

In Union Hall in Brooklyn, and it was that was a place I used to perform out a lot.

When I lived in New York and you're out here.

Now, Yeah, I live out here now, and I felt like I'm not. I haven't done the road extensively as many of my peers have, so I didn't have a club out there that felt like guaranteed, like oh, it's going to go really well. And I just did so much stand up in New York that I feel like I actually do have an audience there. That's real.

It's risky doing it at a club. I attempted to record my album three times on the road.

And you never know.

What Yahoo group of Americans going to show up at the UH.

It could be a part of people that work at Yahoo.

Yeah, close people, an empty room except for yeah, who's serious?

But I would be very that would get like a lot of press.

Just only him laughing, but super Australia, I am, yeah, but it was. It's it's good, I think to do it in a place, a safe place.

Yeah, because most people listen to it They're not like, oh, way to be lazy, Schaeffer, you did it in the easy No, people don't care. They're not thinking, you know, I want it to sound like you at your best, and I really felt like I got that. So I'm very excited. But I'm nervous because I've never had my stand up. I haven't There's not a lot of it out there. There's like two jokes that you can find online.

Not but excitement.

I stay away from those comments.

For do not comments.

I know sometimes I do just as like a cutting, a form of cutting just to feel pain.

I had.

The first time I ever read a comment about myself was the last I think.

I told this story before, but it was on.

It was some mister show like Sandboard, and I had not been doing stand up for a really long time, so I was almost like just trying to see.

If anybody remembered me.

It was almost the feeling of doing it curio, yeah, but definitely coming from a pathetic place. And so I saw my like, I basically did a search for my name and it came up and the comment was, Karen col Gariff is super hot when she's not being a lard ass.

But what do I know, I'm a quadriplegic.

Oh, there's so many layers.

It was everything in difficult approach.

I literally was like, that's the only Internet comment I ever need to read.

Again.

Well, of course you attacked them, but you really got to sidestep that one with the you gotta really tiptoe.

It was a it was an emotional roller coaster, and then it dumped me off at that's I'm fine with whatever anybody thinks. It all got encapsulated in that guy's comment.

Oh man.

So sometimes they're useful, though.

I remember saying one that said, this guy is ripping off Dimitri Martin and I kept seeing that, but usually on a clip that had the same joke in it, and.

You realized you had a joke that was similar one of his or.

Something, yeah, or exactly forbade him the same. Yeah, and I whatever, I don't want to get into that, but but you just did.

But yeah, you know, someone stole a joke from someone.

Yeah, yeah, and anyway, but it's so that was useful.

It's like, what the hell is all? I don't have a similar style. They weren't talking.

About style, they were talking about exact shit.

Well the one.

I mean, that seems that's a very specific way to be useful. But I think in general, it's people giving an opinion that you probably would never ask their opinions.

In real life, criticism by a fifteen year old.

That's never done stand up. That's the problem to me.

Yeah. Also, there's so much, I mean, for a woman, it's so much about your appearance, and it's like this has nothing to do with it, and I'm just exhausted by it. Even like when I get a compliment like she's hot and funny, I'm like, I just wish you hadn't said the hot part, Like I just don't care yet.

Yeah.

Yeah, it bugs me. It's like I'm not you know. There was recently I saw some comments on a something a radio show I had done, and I was really proud. It was like a good radio show. It was like forty five minute interview, like just real talk, like it was great for a morning radio show.

It was specials and it's very special. Yeah yeah.

And on their Facebook page, I just like clicked on it and then saw some comments and they were like it was like three comments that were really negative. And there was one guy who went and was replying to all of the comments to get a discussion going about how much he hated me.

Oh wow.

And on one a guy was like, I got one positive comment, but it was like she's hot. And then the guy replied, the one that really hated me replied to that and said, trust me, this picture is the I've looked it up. This is the only she is not hot in any other picture. And I was like, Jesus,

And so then you of course attacked his children.

Yeah, yeah, I did, and I found dos doxed his children.

You've just been dogs, Taylor. Yeah.

I published their their phone numbers on Fortune and that.

They're in the eighty fifth percentile's who.

Who is an honor students at SO and so Elementary? You're in little.

Well, that's part of it, that's part.

That's the hard part about like, especially these days, that's a hard part about putting your stuff out there.

It's hard enough to put your stuff out there, and then there's.

Just to do the show exactly to do the show I just did was hard, just to wake up hard. And then there's another layer, that second wave of bullshit that you have to deal with once it's out there.

Yeah, it's I can't even relate to it being just an attack on your gender. People's instinct, though, is to just to go like when I was wearing sweat. This is not at all the same, but it is the same instinct in people. So maybe it's making them not all haters of women.

But they are.

Most people hate women. Most women hate women. That bothers me too, Yeah, comedian women anyway, But I every time I work a damn sweater, so people sweater cardigan sweater like.

Yeah, no, yeah, that's not to say. Men definitely get taught. If you're in the public eye, you get your appearance gets talked about. Redless. I'm not as much. I feel like it's just it's it's so central to the conversation for women.

That it's just like, right, it's yeah.

One time I was used to it and didn't even think anything of it. But then it's like one of those things. Once it's pointed out to you how fucked up it is, you're like, ah, so yeah, anyway, well good, just don't let's I've I learned.

I really don't read comments anymore. Just wait for a positive review and read those and then but.

See, if you take this is what I've been thinking a lot about. If you take a positive review seriously, then that means you have to take the negative review seriously. That's right, Yeah, and so you have to read none of them.

Now.

No, I read all the positive ones, and I because I need I already I have negative reviews kind of just scrolling through my head where I actually have written them.

And yeah, so I don't need to.

We all give ourselves a hard enough time. Yes, only read the good ones.

Well, I had the same thing true where my I just had it.

Well, not just but last year put out an album and that was the first time I ever put anything out at all of my own, like stand up performing or whatever, and like in in that way and without even looking at review was either way or doing anything. Just the idea that it was out there, that people could buy it and listen to it and judge it. I had a whole thing with that. It was really hard because like.

It's definitely scared.

It's scary, and.

It's like it invokes all the demons of the worst things you can think of yourself, and you just project it.

I mean, it's a whole thing.

So there's you know, that's part that's the beauty of art, of being an artist.

But you just get all that.

In the past year, though you've found it to be a pod, you've gotten mostly good feedback and everything.

Right, I have to say, though, I think it's mostly I unless somebody literally put a review in front of me that was like, did you read this? It was really good, which is something my sister to have to do. I've not sought out any any response.

Good or bad.

I should try to do that because I have been thinking about like getting off Twitter and social media for a little while and paying someone to do the promo shit for me that you need it for.

Yeah, I would suggest that, Yeah, it's.

Become pretty negative for me. Social media has always been a problem.

It's hard well, because you also have good conversations. I remember in the crazy uh Daniel Tosh rape arguing days, you said.

Some great stuff on there. I would never get into it because.

Every time I do, I regret it. I regret it deeply.

It's it is not the place for that discussion.

And the people that seem to quote unquote when are not because they're making the best point.

It's oh yeah, exactly when you make when you make a reasonable point, no one cares.

Right, and it's you know, it's letting other people run the clock.

But but you did it.

Was it mental lot to me that you even kind of like engage in that way or like try to say something because I don't know.

Not hard, I mean it's hard.

It is every time I've ever weighed in on any any of those hot debates in our business, online or not even in our business, it's anything, I guess it, and I because I don't. I mean, some you know, some people like really are outspoken, and those people get those women, especially the women, they get just so much brutal ship thrown at them.

I'm afraid that even when I agree with someone.

It bothers me when people are speaking their mind on Facebook, specifically.

Oh, I quit Facebook after the the I think it was the thing? Was it tash or was it the UC? It was one of these big debates like you know.

I don't know and I even remember what that.

Should they pay comedians? And I ended up quitting because I wrote, like a really long it's the length Facebook is. It's too long, there's too many comments, it's too in depth, and you get sucked into it way too much, and there's just too much emotion. Twitter is at least you can like, you can't make much of a point, you kind of have to get off you're But Facebook, I wrote a long like thoughtful, reasonable, you know, reasonable, like

Is your only good photo?

Yeah, guys, trust me. I looked up the other photos and she just her comment was too long, and I deleted my Facebook thirty minutes later. I have a fan page and like, and now I have In order to have a fan page, you have to have a regular Facebook page to be the administrator, So to create like a fake. I just have a really small profile that I and so I can see my sisters pictures of her kids and yeah, but I have. I am not engaged in Facebook anymore, and I could not be happier.

It's so crazy, the idea of people arguing stuff like that from like the office in their house. They'll say things they would never say that person.

It bothered me since the beginning.

Even with just email, people are willing to fire off feverishly written things that they would never say ye to your.

Face or even over the phone.

I remember early on when I was first getting my very first email account, my dad was always complaining about people that worked for him just saying like trying and saying like telling him off the email.

And he would just always just call him and go, hey, let's talk about this. It seems like you just said this and this to me and they'll I didn't I thought that I like these. Yeah, it's always.

And now it's even worse because you can add pictures and bring it to certain.

You can bring a lot of people into it.

I've done the thing where and this wasn't too bad because it was with somebody that I know and am friends with but at the time didn't know him well enough. I did the thing where I sent kind of a long email that was like this meant so much to me, and it was like a thank you, but I was kind of a little bit caught up in in in the the day we had spent together, so it was very I get very like into the writing of like I lose the point almost of like what I'm doing.

And they're like, what the fuck?

Yes, And I did the one where I did that, so it was like a four paragraph email and then my computer, my Gmail said it didn't send, so I immediately rewrote it and resent it. And then in the afternoon that day, he sent me an email that.

Said those were two of the nicest.

Emails, and I thought I was going to die, Like I was like sitting there just going like oh my god, like.

No, no, no, no, no no.

If it were.

Different enough that you know that he was like, oh, there's a nice second email.

But also I think he is the kind of person that got the general is like we weren't we didn't know each other that well and now we're really good friends. Where he kind of gave me the benefit of the doubt of it like duplicate sentences.

Oh absolutely, I know right.

It was like I basically might as well sentiment an email that said I'm deeply in love with you because it was that, but it was more of like because he it was I had just done a big show and it meant a lot to me, and it was like one of those things and we.

Kind of had had a deep conversation.

It was all these layers of shit that then just turned into like a Jane Austin level humiliation where I was like, I can't believe that's like and so from like since that day, I never said if something like doesn't send or there's any problem, all, I just shut my computer and like walk away from it, like I'm not nothing's going to happen for at least week.

I have a rule about emotional emails that I write them without the person's email address in the two sections. I can't accidentally send it. And then I close it and I force myself to wait twenty four hours and then I reread it, and usually I don't even send it, or if I do, it's like two sentences as opposed to like eighteen paragraphs.

Literally wait till the next day.

Yes, I started doing this in my.

I regret ninety percent of my emails.

Yeah no, well these are like angry, usually confrontational, which I shouldn't even be sending an email. I should be talking to the person.

In right, That's what I'm saying. Pick them up like my dad's office phone.

Up.

Yeah, I think. But I think even worse than like because those you don't want to say something you regret, and you know, you don't want to like cause a fight that isn't necessary or whatever. But my thing that I do that I regret is I'll send like what you did, Karen. I'll send a gushy, spilling my it's like you know, just you know, really emotional email to someone, and then like they don't respond with the long response. I'll just be like, oh my god, thank you. I'll

Which is really I want to wear your skin.

I want to wear your skin, and I want to live in your bed with you.

I want out of your face and put it on my face.

I don't understand what you RESI is a problem.

I'm afraid I'm the I am the person that says, oh, I'll get back to this because I'm overwhelmed.

If there's a long email.

I know, I'm like too much. Yeah, I get too much.

I got to get back to this, and I take an app and then I never Part.

Of my thing, too is I love writing so much that I love figuring out exactly.

How I want to say something.

It's so satisfying to be like, I'm going to tell you how much you mean to me in a way that's and then exactly do the thing I want to do to you, like it's gonna endear me to you, but then it's also gonna like make you feel good and.

Like I like writing. That's why I like email, and sometimes in that way because you can be so clear with your feelings.

Yep, I like to be nice in an email and every other sentence nag.

Somebody, which makes them fall in love with you, right, that's a good trick. My worst is when people want and this is kind of my dating problem life. Still it's taken me forever to learn of, like if someone texts.

You, the whole politic of texting back and waiting and not or.

Whatever, because I'll totally be like, if it's if you have a jokey reallyationship, I just want to get a good joke in, so I'll totally sacrifice like seeming alluring or mysterious.

Or waiting two days or whatever that I'll be.

Like, here's the hilarious thing now, And I've driven away scores of people by doing that. You're not really like three but still horrifying, Like you just can't learn the lesson because it seems so funny to me. Or also, same thing with emailing early in the morning.

I have to force myself not to do that.

An eight am email can freak the ship out of people.

Oh yeah, they're like, what has she fucking been doing?

Yeah, like, just been up looking at your picture.

You to a picture of you and me and a cup of coffee.

Just woke up thinking about you every day near these knives that I drop a line and now living in La now I've become acquainted with the like when you're in it with someone, when you're in some sort of like argument or drama, is someone the having to pull the car over to text or write something because you're just like you've got to fucking say it now, you know, Like yeah, which I'm like, this is defying my rule. But I'm like, I'm so mad I need to pull over.

That's just one time I fevershally pulled over and uh and then I just typed you made me pop my tire because I hit the curb and my tire went flat and then I and I blame the person and that's not.

Why I pulled over to that's so hard.

Yeah, it's I do a lot of that, but it's also you're just being safe when you do that.

Yeah, it's okay to No, I don't do I don't fight while driving. No, I do like I do, like really enjoy the car now being a place where I can talk out my feelings to myself and just scream at someone that's pissing me. I'm just be like, you knew, you knew that would hurt my feeling, just like having a fucking meltdown in the car. Yes, and it's really good. I mean it's very therapeutic. You can't do that in New York or you're a crazy person.

Yeah.

No, we do a podcast in our car, did you know?

I love it.

I love I'll do some interviews in the car if it's like a long ride.

I practice what my stances on things.

Oh yeah, I do that too.

Like professional stance practice in a way that never comes.

Into play in my real life, like in no way.

But I'll be like, you know, I think it's just really important to communicate like things like that that like do not apply to my real life at all, like almost like practicing Ted talks.

Yes, that you'll never give.

I can't go you guys. I have stance practice.

Guys, I gotta I gotta nail my stance down pretty hard before I go.

What's your stance?

You gotta know your stance. Yeah, it's very important.

I know that. I talk to myself in my car. I yell angry.

I get angry in my my car is where I get my angriest. I'm afraid so or just yeah, I get you know how anxious I am. There's a reason Karen's driving I get and people have commented on it. Apparently I have a surreal vehicular temper explosive. Yeah, it's and it makes people scared and takes.

Away from comedy. Yeah. So Karen operates the motor vehicle and I but I, you know it's good. That to me is therapeutic.

You don't make that way outside your car where there's people and ears. Well.

Also, you may have noticed this.

One of the great things about LA is probably eighty percent of the drivers here are the worst drivers on the planet.

I don't know if you've noticed that. I don't.

I don't have much to compare it to because I lived in New York for so long and didn't have a car, or that I lived in Virginia. It's like, I don't know. It was like in college. I didn't really know what driving.

Honestly, when I moved here, I was relieved that people didn't drive as crazy as they did in Austin, Texas, where people go one hundred. People go so fast, like we're the biggest state fast, Like there's a pride in speed that is equivalent.

I do.

I do drive. I drive like an old woman. I'm extremely caut to me, but I don't get mad. I get I go, oh, you're gonna come right in front of me, are you. I'll be like well, and I'll be fucking douchebag, and I'll just be really calm about it. But the the thing that I noticed here is, and this is more just where I live. I hear car accidents or near car accidents every day where I live, and just you know, it's and I'm like, it shouldn't be this much like I've.

Become very alert.

I am up front, I almost have my forehead touching my windshield like this. But I really do think that in La people are all, for the most part, driving with the frantic fear, fear of each other.

And I think that's, well.

There's fear, and then there's people who are just distracted on their phones doing whatever. And that's what you know. Like cause where I live, I live right on not on Silver Lake Boulevard, but like I can see it from my apartment. I live on a different road that's next to it, and it's just the curvy road and people go too fast on it, but you can't get up that much speed on it. It's just that people aren't paying attention coming around a curve and they hit.

People like people really do look at their phones when they drive, though, it's crazy.

Yeah I do.

It's so bad.

You really try not to.

I do it.

We both do it.

Just stoplights, and you shouldn't even do that because it's not.

I've been trying to save it for stoplights.

But my probable is I will get this sense that people are going without looking up.

Yet, and then you start to accelerate. Yeah, that's why I stop.

Whit is bad idea, it's bad, like it's that kind of thing of just being an adult. For me, I should just put my phone away, right, there's nothing going on.

That's that I'm afraid.

That's that's when I have my thoughts to myself. That's when I want to address things. I'm driving, I'm thinking. That's where I do most of my business.

But I use the voice command. I go and like just say what I want.

I think that we should meet later, kamma, we have to talk about this other stuff period. Furthermore, Comma again, I don't say again that word.

Yeah.

Therefore, I've gotten very good at dictating with punctuation.

That's that's good. I think it's meanwhile my eyes are on the road safely. Yeah, so I don't know.

It isoth like for the phone, but I've never done voice command it really you do audio texting now too, where you can just record a message and text it to someone.

If that's ogain.

Have you ever accidentally done that, because I've accidentally friend.

Of I just did it to me and it was just all I heard was her dog barking and her going no.

It's a little snippets of people's lives.

I do it all the time.

I'll just look down and I'll have sent someone the past five seconds and I like panic of like what the fuck was I just doing or saying?

But it's usually like walking in a parking lot or something.

I have not pocket done that yet.

It's pretty great. I need to gotta do it.

Get in I'm going to get in on it doing it, get down on it.

So, Sarah, what being in Los Angeles? What is the most fun thing you've done?

Compare contrast New York?

No, do you think that pizza is as good here? It spread out?

Is it really in the water?

The most fun thing I've done here, just other than experiencing a new part of the country, in great Weather. Yes, I'm trying to think ship.

Have you seen a celebrity yet?

I saw Miles Teller.

Best Bye and Best Buy?

Yeah, and he was picking something up. And he's the kid in Whipblash that plays the drums and I had never really seen him in anything before, and I fell in love in the movie. Like I just I think he's very attractive. He's just my He's like a young Richard Gear and Richard Gere is like my favorite. I would fuck him into next week. My first sex dream ever was about Richard Gear. I don't know what it is about him. He doesn't He's not even conventionally like as attractive as many other actors.

I think it is.

It's squinty, alpha swagger. It's like he's saying you all the time. Yeah, And so it's kind of like if he liked me, What if the asshole liked me?

Yeah, I know, and they never do, but uh yeah, I.

Want I'm gonna fuck you in the next week as a tattoo.

Yeah, that's what I was quoting fifty Shades of Gray.

No, oh God, did you see that money? I did.

I saw it in Miami. I was just there.

That's where you go.

I flew to Miami to see it. No, I was in Miami and I had to go see it because I was it was filming something that I had to talk about it and and I went to like a cinebistro, which is like you're you eat and drink while you're watching the movie with those big, yes, big chairs like so I went and it was all these Miami women,

Was so bad.

It was so fucked up and weird. There was only one sex scene that actually like turned me on, and it could have been a sex scene between any great lovers, you know, like.

It wasn't it wasn't even that.

It wasn't even really b DSM, like I mean, and this is the part and I'm it is a little Kara's having an orgasm just hearing about but yeah, she uh okay, So this is a little it's not much of a spoiler because you find out very quickly in the movie. And I didn't know this because I didn't read the book or anything. He's rudis virgin. She meets him,

I don't think I've had sex.

That that's hilarious. I was thinking, because I've had.

A couple of people that talked about what the sex was in that movie, and to me, it's so hilarious.

Like there's shit on Tumblr like if those people.

Knew what real real beds, real BDSM and like the stuff that's becoming very common to people.

Yeah, it felt almost like like too tame, like it was you know, and she gets beaten at the end of the movie, and it's like, like beaten up. He like, whips are really hard, and because she goes, it's like the worst fucking dialogue. She's like, she's like, do your worst. I want to know why you do this, and he's She's like, show me the worst you can do, and the worst is him whipping her with a belt really hard, and then she she lets him do it and then

What are you kidding?

Don't get married?

That would don't get married because there's gonna be a sequel you know where they where they you know, pokes her mouth and stuff like that. I mean, but that's what I'm saying, is like she goes from so much of it is so unbelievable and weird, and like his behavior at the beginning of the movie, if he wasn't rich and attractive, would be literal like stalker, serial killer behavior.

Either of you read this book that was sweeping the nation.

Of course I can't read.

It's Yeah, I'm not a member of the b D s M.

I recommend the movie Secretary if you want to see that.

It's a good one.

Yeah, it's hot and it's a love story, Yes, exactly, like a true like they're both they both awakened to their who they are together.

Yes, and it's so consensual.

She's like, oh, she's so it's.

Almost like therapy for her. I love that movie. That's a really great movie.

Yeah, that is what is BDS. But I don't even know what it stands for.

Dominant submissive. No, I don't know what D is, dominant dais.

There's a lot of flowers. I haven't seen the movie.

I'm really into a flower play.

I just you stick a daisy and a gun.

I like when a girl comes up to me, it looks like she's gonna kiss, and then she just blows a bunch of pollen into my face starts.

I mean, it doesn't turn me on so much. Its cause a horrible allergic reaction.

Is allergic, which is part of the pain of what a What are your depths that you're willing to get?

Nothing turns me on more than when I get because I'm allergic to almost everything. One of them is the ocean. If I I'm getting down with and just my nose is just draining and I'm sneezing and I'm coughing, and I.

Get, it's like just one of the God turns me on. Yeah, I currently have bronchitis. I really do. That's okay. I'm on antibiotics. But bodics is a biotics or beonyx biotics.

Beonics is definitely an old person way I'm saying antibiotics.

I'm an antibiotics. I have a horrible case of bronchitis. Thank god it wasn't pending on you. Yeah, I'm done.

I'm done antibiotics.

You guys, take it away. We're here, We're here about them. We're just kind of chilling.

I saw Miles Teller that the Best buye.

That's the moral of that long And he's an actor and also a real life drummer, right, I think that he's a drummer turned actor.

Is he? Oh?

That makes it even better.

I heard that he was a drummer.

But not to that level, and that he basically studied to be that good for that movie.

Oh wow, that's what makes it even hotter.

I found him very appealing in that movie and then did a little research, And by research I mean watched a zach Efron movie that.

He was in.

I've heard, yeah he's in some other ship that's and ship being the operative word.

Good.

I need to see that Whiplash ship though.

Oh you haven't seen it.

It's good. It's great that JK. Simmons guy's from Missoula. He spoke at my graduation.

Oh you then you absolutely must see it.

Yeah, he's a great guy.

Yeah it's a it's a good.

But in that movie it's super mean, right, super stern.

I have a sexual fantasy, Whiplash fantasy that is Miles Teller fingering me and then me going not my tempo after the line from the movie do.

You have huge guns and a black rolled up?

And I keep like smacking him in the face, speed it up.

I kind of loved that, Like people were so outraged by how.

Mean he was, and he was very homophobic, like in his insults, which made me prickle a little bit sometimes. But I was like, no, I mean that is if you're going to do your worst, you know, like that's what you do.

Yeah, And I feel like that's the That kind of pressure is good, but negative things when you're trying to learn the thing you want to do, having like.

Having it be really hard is really good. In my opinion.

I liked what his character said about like you know that if I told you you were good, you would never have been great.

I saw that in the trailer and I agreed with it. But he was yelling and it seemed like he was about to choke him when he said that.

He's just very aggressive. A lot of people don't know. He's kind of a big goes to the gymnasium.

It seems like, oh JK.

Simmons, Yeah, tosses around the medicine ball.

He's just got like one of those old jack He's got old muscle on him.

Yeah, Like I used to be jacked, but now I'm.

Just He comes off pretty jacked in the movie.

Really Yeah.

We wears a tight T shirt and you can see that.

Well now you know, Hi, sorry, Oh we're gonna have to move, aren't we.

No, we'll see We're gonna wait it out.

Well I happen in that movie is that like a teaching is a high school teacher. He's at like a special music.

School, Juilliard type situation.

Yeah, because my my sister is a teacher and she just got fired for saying bullshit in front of some kids.

She was I don't fourth grade. I'm not sure I should know that she should be teaching high school. That's what the union. She got fired.

There was one other strike that was a Facebook post she made a year ago, and they kept that in mind too, because she said something about now I know why they hit their knuckles with rulers. It was a comedic blog like post where she said that, and the principle happened to be your Facebook friend. Oh you never, So she got fire and I'm like, my point is my music teacher in high school when I played trombone and a bunch.

Of teachers were so abusive.

He threw a pencil at my face and it whizzed past my eye and I remember saying, wow, what if that had gone in my eye and blinded me? And he got frustrated and left the room.

That guy worked at that high school. He worked there.

That My high school were fucking lunatics. There was a lot of them, were drunks. We had a priest that was literally schizophrenic. He would the entire theology class. He would draw maps on the board of how the Communists were taking over San Francisco, and none of it, we none of us said anything because we didn't have to study the Bible as long as he was doing that.

So we all just like everyone just kept the lid on it.

And we just knew if we sat there and listened to him talk about the Communists taking over that we could just hang out and not have to worry about like memorizing stuff.

Wow.

And that was just like I've actually written out some of it because it was so crazy, the amount of like kids getting screamed at and all of it.

That like these days.

Catholic school, yes, yeah, yeah, that's even more extreme.

It's crazy. It's like its own little world.

But I mean these days, it's like I think about that all the time, like kids, I think it's good, but at the same time, it's like can be so extreme, Like they can hear the word bullshit.

If a teachers a good.

Teacher, that's crazy. Yeah, I can't believe she got she just got that job too. No, that's crazy, that's why they let her.

Oh she hasn't Adam and eve Leaf when the kind you cover your green adals with Sarah.

Did you go to public.

School or do you I went to public schools. I lived in an area of Virginia that had really good public schools. And then in high school, I went to one of the first magnet schools charter schools in the country, and it was in my city, and it was a new trend.

It's not a sorry for older kids.

I don't know it kind of, but it's a yeah. It was a school like you had to apply to get into it. It was for like I hate the term gifted because it's needlessly.

Like I was from calling it gifted.

I am gifted.

Gifted.

It was like a gifted thing. And it was really great for me because I went from a huge county school where I felt alone to like a smaller nerd school where I felt way more comfortable, like I could be myself. And I loved it. I loved my high school.

I'm jealous of anyone that went to that school Emerson that I only know of in stories.

It's like a school.

Yeah, it's like a school for artists and creative people, but it's a regular You just a degree and you draw and paint and make music and comedy and oh man.

You yourself?

What was Yeah, well, anytime.

I took a college course with the football team, they did have us come up and say what do you think you earned? And it would just be football players going a and they go all right, all right, hey, nice catch the other night.

Wow.

Yeah, I didn't like that.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I get crazy.

I got really I I was very hard on myself academically, Like I just wanted to be good, like at things and would try to be not the It wasn't like I want to be the best. I've never really had that in me, but I wanted to just do my best and like I had And I always thought was that my parents that did that to me, But they've always been like you were just always like that. Just your standard for yourself was so high that you would just be in constant pain. Yeah, because I and I'm

Yeah, I wonder if parents can control that.

I always had their support and everything, but I anguished over I was so timid and scared as a kid, and it wasn't anything they did.

I was just a little it was different. I didn't I wasn't motivated to do well. I did horrible in school, but I did worry about it, though not enough to change things.

But I wonder, Yeah, I always think that if my parents were, like, were they yelling at me and disappointed with me?

Would it have lit a fire under my ass? I don't know.

My dad was pretty hard on me about stuff. I said some of it came from him.

But.

Well it was it was a lot of it was within me.

My dad was JK. Simmons.

I said he was just from my town, but god, his shirts were tight and his punches were hard.

I literally figured out that everyone at my high school was crazy and never did homework the entire time. I don't know how I graduated from high school, and it's the reason I ended up getting kicked out of college because I just never went to class.

You never did anything kills.

I just didn't.

Yeah, I didn't know how.

And our high schools college prep, but I just got around everything, or.

Like would I would. It was actually twice as hard because I was just.

Figuring out, like I would just sit there and put it together in my mind of like, well, here's the test about the book, and this is a question being asked, so this.

Is this is probably the answer. There was a lot of that I did that.

I did that a little bit too, because I would just be overwhelmed. I would sign up for too much shit, yeah, and I would be too busy, and I got I was an English major in college, and I got really good at writing an essay about a book I hadn't read, yeah, the whole I just read enough. I just knew how to do it, and I could skate by because I just had too much going on. It wasn't that I

We didn't have a comedy group where I'm from, so I anxiously. I just wanted to get college over with. And I took the exact amount of credits to fill my major and to graduate, not one more. I had it all mapped out by this guy's like, do you you need to.

Take a structural system or what? I just and I graduated right on. I just want to end it. I just want to get it out of the way.

But I'm glad I did it in retrospect. I mean, look, I've never shown my degree to a single human.

You should start showing it on stage.

It's a nice.

Before I begin, I just want to show you.

I need you to put your eyes on this.

He called to a bachelor of five arts, and it is fine.

It is fine. And I'm a bachelor ladies one piece just with a zipper on the side.

It's gonna be a hot summer.

In the back. You always have to talk about Howard.

Yeah, this is Howard Kramer. Admiration hour him.

We don't you do, Sara, do have anything to plug besides Chrysalist? The new album coming to you in June.

No, March seventeenth.

March seventeenth is Saint Patrick's Day.

Yeah, nice, celebrate with my album. Uh uh no, I mean I around town. I would say, go to my website, Sarah Shaper dot com and check out the calendar. I'm doing a lot of colleges, so if you're in college, look to see if I'm coming to your college.

Oh nice, that's fine.

Yeah, good way to make money.

I'll just that as a little industry side note, folks, Sarah's doing.

Okay, I'm killing it. That's it.

You're not podcasting anymore?

No, not not. I had a podcast with Nikki Glazer were it's kind of dormant. We're both just been too busy and in different places in the New York person. Yeah. And then I had a podcasts come out last year on w n y C and Nervous, like they partnered up for it, and it was like a season thing, like wny C does seasons of things, and they are very slow to make decisions. So I don't know if I'll keep doing it, but you can go look it up.

To be a lie. Oh that's terrific. That's a great and it sounds fun.

I'm really proud of how it came out. It's really fun. So go listen to those episodes.

I really like that concept.

And they're short, they're like fifteen minutes.

I was going to say, it's not a long one. No, it's definitely.

It's called Hours of Lives.

Liars is exactly an hour long. We have seven more minutes left of that.

I love it.

We are going to do a.

Comedy concert here and meltdown. Sarah and I are both on the show.

I'm going to stand in the back knowingly well, I love it.

Judge, Yeah, be judging it please judging.

And I don't want to discourage you, Sarah.

Did you see on the thing that they it's like an audience participation what?

Yeah, that's why I don't take at I don't.

I hope that's not what I think it means that the audience will be participating.

Do you think that's what it means? Those were the two words.

Sometimes there's it's fun when you show up to a show and they're like, okay, so this is a high concept show and you just go out there and then you don't have to do any stand up and it's just like its different. But then sometimes the concept's not good and then you end up being like why did I fucking waste money? But I don't remember.

That's the thing. I trust the emails. I trust Daniel and Aaron. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fun. Hopefully it doesn't mean it's not free for all of friendly heckling. That's saying the economy what like suggestions, I don't know what it means.

So it's almost like it's only the only half of improv is that there's suggestions, but then suggestions to stand ups who don't take suggestions.

Or you do a joke and then they pause and just give you tip. I would end it with that. I would tag it first of all, and just the audience.

Torture time.

Talk about Okay, I'll tell you about a show that's torture for the comedian but really fun for the audience. It's called oh sh that seven minutes in Hell I don't know, no, seven minutes in Heaven or something like. You do stand up in a room to a camera alone and you have headphones on so you can't hear the audience through the wall, and then they pipe it into the theater. They do it U see be Franklin.

And.

It was I was like I I watched some of it from the audience and it was really fun. But as a performer, I was like, that is not something I ever want to do again. I was like, thank you so much for having me, But that was fucking awful for me because it was it was the for me. It was the thing on my ears that bothered me because I couldn't hear my own voice and sound. I felt like I was drunk, like because I felt like I was slurring my word. It was weird. It was

If I'm bombing anyway, even if they're right there in front of me.

I'm just like, this is terrible.

I do that too. I go, that was awful, and people go, that was great.

I loved it.

I'm very I'm very sensitive to when I'm not doing well.

I know when it's happening always. You know too, And it does set list you guys mentioned it.

It is horrifying and while you're on stage while when I do it, I'm sweating, I feel uncomfortable and I feel like I did doing stand up fifteen years ago.

And but it is it's good afterwards.

It's like this exhilarating arenaline.

It's so scary.

I haven't done it yet. I got it's very booked on it. And then I had a migraine that day and I emailed him and I was like I really don't think I can do this type of show.

Ye tonight, look to be quick and you have to be and he was.

He was like, absolutely not, do not come.

I've been booked on that show and haven't done it four times, and almost every time I would, I think I flaked straight out. Just flake flaked two times, and then I had two very legitimate reasons the other two.

But I'm scared to death to do it. Yeah, scared to death to do it, but I really want to. I think it would be fine.

Yeah, but around five o'clock every time every day that i'm when and I've booked on it that night, I'm like, oh.

That's weird. I just don't feel well. This isn't going to work out.

If I gave myself a headache because I was scared, you know, my body just like went into like survival.

You're not doing this.

I do not enjoy doing set lists, but I do ask to do it all the time, if that makes sense. I think it's good for me, but it's not enjoyable until right when it's done.

Yeah that's oh wait, that's how I feel.

That.

God, I really don't enjoy it until it's over.

I really love watching watching it, and I love watching people suffer through it. It's so funny how nervous people get and how great they do, and how on their side the audiences and it doesn't really matter, like because they're just up.

Yeah, I think forget how much forgiveness is given when you do improv. Yeah, I mean I started out in New York trying improv and and did it for many years. Well I did it for like five years and it was I and I was doing stand up at the same time, and I would always be like, oh man, improv is like you have so much more forgiveness from the audience because they know you're making it up on the spot. The laughs are coming easier but there. But

Well, it's a it's a better art.

In other words, sucks and that's why I.

Well, let's go do whatever that says. I'm a little worried about whatever audience participation means.

So defin we start getting mad about it.

Now, I'm gonna I'm not saying I'm going to go in there with a rage and treat it like I'm in the inside of my car.

Just blurt, come out screaming guns blazon.

I want to just dedicate this episode to Harris Whittles, who is a person that I very much loved, and he's passed away, and so I just want to say that he was great, and I wanted to mention his name and just end it that way.

Yeah, I like it.

I like that too.

It was.

You're listening to do you Need a Ride? D y n A R.