Ep. 31 - Dave Anthony

I leave in a you wanta way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. Give us time and aid urmanol and gay. We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?

Now?

Porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris? Mm hm, Welcome Do you need a ride? My name is Chris Fairbank.

My name is Karen Colgaro.

I feel like since there's a question mark at the end of the title of our podcast, I should be saying welcome, did you need a ride?

Yeah? I like that about it.

I'm Chris. Yeah.

From now on, let's just start over completely.

Okay, forever Take two. Welcome, do you need to ride? My name is Chris.

Fairbank, scarc Guira.

And we've found out that someone that we know did need to ride. Oh it doesn't work that way.

Did it? Yeah he did? No one knows.

I think he does.

Let's just ring his doorbell.

And we are driving to Lachrisenna.

Lachrisenna, California, which is kind of near Eagle Rock, but more toward Montrose.

It's definitely far enough to be not considered Los Angeles.

Right, I'm not. I think so. It's where the adults live.

It's like the town you moved to after you get a job, a steady job.

Oh okay. And does Dave Anthony have a steady job?

He is a writer on Maren.

Oh okay, what a great gig. Yeah, maybe we'll ask him about.

That, Maybe we should.

Did he move into this area after his marin money came rolling in?

I think so he. I think they just moved here recently.

Oh day, meaning him and his and his fat room.

Him and his wife who is and their baby Finn. Lovely family.

What a great name for a baby, Finn.

Yes, and he's super cute and funny.

Well, his wife is gorgeous, and I think she's either a psychologist or a psychiatrist, so she's.

Kind of a badass.

They're very similar their jobs to the layman, that's true.

I think it's just a piece of paper.

One of them analyzes you and one of them listens to you.

Right, I don't know.

I don't know either. I actually was going out on a limb.

You know what, I think a psychiatrist can prescribe you medicine, right, and I like a psychologist can't.

Oh, I don't know either, So I bet one of them looks down on the other one like a doctor a dentist or yeah.

Or a dentist as a podiatrist.

Right, there's a there's a long line. It's a it's a cast system, right for the tooth industry, and it.

Always ends up in the in that one river in India where everyone's taking.

A bath and the one, yes, that's where all cast systems are. The bottom is at that river.

They all end at a sweaty bath house.

What's it? What's that river called? Murky? James Ashy? Oh, I think it's the Tames. Yeah, it's the Tames.

The Times, the Tames. Isn't that the river Thames? Am I wrong? Am I making a fool of myself?

I'm not sure.

I feel like I've only ever seen it at the beginning of the Mommy Python.

Hey, if either Karen or I sound like idiots right now, go ahead and fire off a heated tweet.

At we need to know. Oh, you know what?

You know what's really funny. Remember when we were talking about Bretty Stonella's Yes Yes, Braddy, one of the.

Best things ever happened in recorded history.

I'd say that and Thriller.

Really Yeah, I would say those are top two. Turns out.

J McInerney was the author of the book we were talking about.

McInerney wrote Bright Lights, Big City, Oh Okay Yeah, And that song yellow Uh did called oh Yeah was indeed on the Bright Lights Big City soundtrack. Really I found the vinyl. The other side is a forgettable track, but I don't know which came first.

The Ferris Bueler's day Off.

See, we'll talk. We're not afraid to talk about issues. This one under your need.

A Ride, we certain we certainly will go into the dull areas, That's for sure.

There's with a kind of a the braveness of a joan of arc.

Yes, there's a lot of dull areas that have been tackled kind of in a in a cowardly way. But we we really open it up. We talk about different types of cars, different routes that you can take in the city, and songs.

Songs and songs songs.

It's been wrong about delilahy.

Go, hey, have you heard Delilah?

Have you heard that? Where where you're listening? Are you on the coast? This one goes out, it's Phil Collins, And it goes out.

This is Tracy called in tonight. She wanted to send her boyfriend Phil a little bit of Phil Collins. That's because they have the same name, and because he really is her suit Sue studio. So congratulations she Phil.

He drums to the beat of her heart, which of course beats for him. This is no way out.

Take me home, Phil Collins and a bunch of computers.

I had a great day. I went to a sauna situation. I went to my gymnasium and sat with many old men.

Oh my god, that tweet say say your tweet is a joke right now.

I today went to the sauna with many sad old men, and I wanted to say, hey, why the long scrut him? Because one guy he just haphazard like he have to towel around him with the looseness that most people would approach some of the topics we tacked and man, he had one long I just looked at his ball.

I just looked at it.

I'm you know, I'm in a clinical way, like I was worried about his health. Yes, he should not be that long, and so I really or.

Was it like midshin it?

Well, he was seated, so it was beyond thigh and it was dangling mid bench. Would you can imagine him sitting on something as as thick as a two by four. It was the length of his from his body and then halfway down the board. So conservatively a four inch long ball. Jesus, Yeah, it was really, I mean maybe five inches and.

The world of men is a four inch ball like that kind of a point of pride?

Is that why he'd be loosely walking around?

I don't don't know that he knew the way he was peacocking, but he was really putting him. He was really roughly in his feathers and uh and I looked kind of like the way a doctor would.

Sure through your Lorgnette Glenn Wood taking him right on Glenn Wood.

Yeah, that's all we say.

Makes me think of Glenn Fry and Steve Winwood. They of course did a track together. We're going to hear that right now for Larry and Calabasas. Oh is that the red dort? That's good FUNCTIONU I hope he lives there. I hope he lives there. Going to the home of Dave Anthy. I have some questions about his podcast, Walking the Room.

Is it still active?

Is it on Hiatus?

I think they're done, really, but.

That was such a well known post.

Well, now he does the doll Up with Garrett Gareth Reynolds.

And that's about a mayonnaise sour cream.

Yeah up, and uh, this might be it.

What's your address so I can kind of rest you.

My address.

It's one two three Fake.

Street, one two three Fake Street. Got it?

We just gave everyone we did.

Oh no, this has to be edited.

Oh I guess, so I guess. So it's okay. I'll just go back. Oh god, he already knew. Look at him, he's so angry already.

It looks like it's a mullet. But I think it's part of the note.

It's just the way his hair grows.

I think it's curly, and he's like, oh, I'll just have it all be one length. But he doesn't know that. It's kind of I'm gonna tell him now. It looks great. I like the way he looks. I like how he seems angry.

He lifted the car backwards.

Oh thank god, we land it on the wheels.

Yeah.

Really, Hi there, yeah, get on in. Hi there, Hi, thank you for getting out the dog blanket.

You see the dog blanket? Yeah? Good? How are you do? You guys know how to get to the Hollywood improvisation?

I kind of do.

Of course.

I mean from here. No, I have no idea where I am.

Is that light for the for the camera? Yeah?

Yeah, we just go ahead and slate if you could, Like you're auditioning for a.

Cat food commercial, you take two. I always do that.

That's a good tactic to just go in and assume it's take two.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah, I don't even acknowledge. That's a great dog. That's a beautiful animal. Look at it, just calm, collected, just straight off the set of Night Walk. Yeah.

Those poor huskies in Los Angeles, they're all dying of heat.

And that is the sweater of a good dog owner.

Yeah it is.

Yeah, kind of an apatchy print, something in a wool rich.

He's up here in the mountains. He's dressed for it.

Oh yeah, he's wearing his dude sweater.

Dave, is this the farthest you guys have come to pick up a comedian m per.

Yes, yeah, yes, sweet yeah print.

Did you move up to this neck February? That's nice? I love it up here.

It's a nice house.

Yeah, it's really nice house. Dog whole thing. Wife did the whole thing. Yeah, we got a dog. It is a Cairn Terrier. Oh. It's a very cute little dog. And when I walk with it, people think I'm less masculine.

Is it really tiny?

It's not tiny, but it's not large. Mm hmm. Yeah. What do you have like a like.

A lav I do? Yeah, she's got clap a safety first, he guess I'm adjusting.

Don't forget, uh, the people who are listening. If you're doing a podcast in your car, wear a love.

Got a lot please Jackson head.

If not, if not for sound, for safety, because if you're driving and you're holding one of these prices, right elongated showbiz mics, Yeah, you're gonna veer off the road.

This is really is it time to spin the wheel? It is you're playing for a Kia Spectra. Oh my god, I'm so excited.

Let's try and get the arrow to point to a dollar amount.

That's the lock. That's the Locker Center hotel. It's been in a lot of movies. Oh, a lot of movies where someone surrounds a hotel and does bad things.

Oh yeah, it seems like that kind of hotel.

Yeah, it's terrifying.

Is it all old fashion in there?

Yeah, super old fashion.

And are there real murders there?

Yeah? About four a week?

And how many production murders are there?

Seventeen? Oh? Wowee, numbers. That's good. I'm really bad with numbers. By the way. Hey, also, by the way, rip Allen, what happened? She's not dead. I'm just practicing.

I'm just I love that your your legitimate reaction, Karen. You just meant, oh what happened?

Karen? You were devastating?

Is it over?

What happened? The rain has concluded.

I can't believe I didn't start singing.

You guys, you're talking about Ellen DeGeneres. I love her work, really, I love her and everything she's been in the thing over a fella, it was crazy.

She was up his ass.

Yeah, a lot of people were both.

Did Milton Burl who can?

Yeah, we were talking about you were just talking about it. I'll tell you why the long screwed him because he is a star.

I'll tell you why the long screed him sings.

Did you guys talk the whole way up?

Well, we talked for a little bit a couple exits before we started mid freeway.

Was just starting the freeway.

Yes, yeah, it's more terrifying that way.

The freeway here is the best freeway in the Los Angeles. Yeah, the two you're gonna go right through that red or you know.

That's why she keeps me on my toes even when I'm.

Sitting I was just thinking about the freeway.

Sure. You know. The thing about thinking about the freeway is you don't have to pretend you're on the freeway.

Yeah, yeah, you can just remember it nostalgically.

I don't know, I just I go there in my mind.

I was just watching a show called Impractical Jokers on TV. Really it's really something.

Yeah, I used to I used to be in the True TV family.

I think it's I think it's great to have four guys go out and do something and they tell they what it is is. They tell one guy to go do a prank or whatever on the street, and then the other and then they just keep cutting to the other guys laughing their asses off, whether it's funny or not, which makes it weird because if it's not a funny one and they are loving it, it's uncomfortable for every buddy, the viewer, the people involved.

Is that what they do? They just show the other guy? Yeah, make it right here, one of them at a time.

Oh god, we're dying. We're dying. Oh my god. Please if if you guys ever die in a car accident with a comedian, someone has to upload it.

Oh yeah, oh god, that talking about guarantee.

I hope finally then we'll get a sponsor, maybe maybeoff.

I think, you guys, it would at least make buzz flash.

We might at least sell some merch.

I mean, the clip of us dying would definitely go viral for at.

Least two hours for sure.

Yeah, maybe we'd stopped talking about Bill Cosby for a goddamn minute.

What happened with Bill Cosby? Oh? He there?

I think his show got canceled the end?

Wait, Dave, what's your show at the improv to night?

Yeah?

The lineup? We want to know details. Uh, it's Brian has he ever raped anyone?

Post saying yeah but not to not not like out in the public like nobody knows about it, right, right, it's posts saying, Yeah, how else is he gonna? Is it gonna happen?

Yeah, that's metal. That's what metals do.

That is what metals do.

Brian Posaying was often a guest on your podcast Walking the Room, And I wanted to ask, is Walking the Room on hiatus or.

Is it lutiicially over? God damn it to put I have a new podcast all.

Good things called Dollop I do, right, the dollup and uh yeah, Walking the Room it ran its course.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, everything does.

We had a good run and uh it was fun, but uh, I don't know, it just kind of Yeah, I got really tired of talking about myself, right, it's really annoying.

Well that's the thing. The doll up is about something. And it's amazing when you have a tent pole like that. How much easier it is.

Oh my god, it's it's more work to put together, but it's so much easier to do. Like you're not like turning off the mic and going, okay, what do you want to talk about now?

Yeah?

Right?

And and what is a tenpole other than a little kid with us leaping back boner.

Philosophical.

I really don't know it. It's just a right that it holds up there.

I knew I could have figured that out on my own.

I'm just sure that that's true.

I just never have heard it used that way.

I like to throw in kind of assy writer's room jargons every once in a while to make.

People hate me and see what sticks.

Oh, I know other people that are on the show. TJ Miller, t J Miller, hul he's going to talk about makes about dead babies, and uh Tefler who lives in right near me in South Pasadena. I love and Brandon Small God.

That is a star studded lineup.

Oh, it's so fucking joke. I don't just do any show around town.

Going to get us in yeah.

Place to observe the show. No we can. I can.

There's a crack in the back wall that I lending her two people there, right, Chris, I know a couple of people there. Actually I need to I needed to get some business done, some paperwork. See that makes me seem like now, all of a sudden, you guys are in a position where it's like, Wow, I don't have to go back to do paperwork. Ever, Chris must be at a hire.

Chris has hand in this Yeah, on this car ride?

Yeah, that way?

Really, Dave, would you.

Go all the way down into like silver Lake and over?

Yes, Now people know the area he lives in.

You're definitely gonna get shot.

I mean I did. I did already say there's the locker, sent a motel, giving away oh.

Street and exact address.

I'm gonna because there's only five million people that want to kill me.

I'm going to go back.

We edit.

We did, in all seriousness say your draft for the one of the first times ever. We're gonna have to go back, and I'm gonna have to go and be.

Great when you forget that and people are like, I got your address.

I'm from the n I'm Sarah Palin.

We've got it handled. We've got it handled, we got.

People covered, no problem.

So you're Greg Baron, your old podcast partner lives in New York now, and he's.

No, he went to New York for a few months. In fact, now he just got back a couple of weeks ago.

Is he he'll probably be a guest on the dollup.

There's no guests.

There's no guests.

Really, no, you got to.

Listen to the dollar.

Sorry, yeah, that's me.

This is super awkward right now. Yeah.

I usually I do my research when there's a guest.

You certainly did not do anything, should not do it.

This time, I just thought knowing and loving you as a person would be enough research. But I do suppose I have made a mistake.

But I am one of the dollups number one fans.

Yeah did it one day?

You had no response and then I deleted it?

Is that true? I might not have sent the tweet, I know, but.

I can't be vulnerable like that on Twitter day.

Sometimes I'm out there, I'm working at my job.

Sometimes don't people are like walking in the park, they're dog walking with their with their.

I left it up eleven minutes and I was like, fuck.

You good god woman.

No, No, it really is.

I listened to it every morning, and it's about fucked up things from history, so it's super interesting to listen to. And then Gareth Reynolds is like one of the funniest people ever.

God, he's so funny.

Oh wow, so funny.

I'm gonna listen. It's really good, insane how funny he is? Do you just put it Uh, you do it yourself? Do you have it on a network?

Where do you have?

Where do you network?

He's on your network?

Yeah? Yeah, Like I said, little to know what I mean?

Hey, you're listening to worst Interviews with Chris Fervan. You know what?

Between you and I, I know all that ship, But the people listening don't.

Are you a fella?

Do you think that? On talk shows? Letterman hasn't seen the clip, you know, And you're oh, and you're playing well, you're like an army general in this.

We know it's the guys army.

I'm being professional. What what information are we gonna get where I just go? And I know about your podcast, So let's not talk about it, you.

Know what I mean? True? All right?

If I didn't I did.

It was barely a thing. I just said. I knew there was a lot of talking and not a lot of nothing behind it, little to no meaning I knew.

Is it all of getting good numbers?

Yeah, it's getting it's getting good numbers. It's getting better numbers and walking the room right now it's on all Things Comedy dot com. Yet it's on All Things Comedy. It's getting better numbers. Yeah, it's really here's the crazy thing. It's really popular in Australia. Oh, it's like the number four comedy podcast in Australia.

How do you do?

So? Now?

Are you you're gonna get a do a bunch of Have you been doing stand up in Australia already?

Down under? There? I? Well, so what I did was I went down there once and I did I did two podcasts at the the festival, shre the Melbourne Festival and so so staying the left and get and get a over there yeah and uh you take yeah that's left. Oh god, yeah.

I mean it's it's a tense podcast, isn't it. You never know if it's going to be your last.

You don't know. So I uh so I went down there and I and I did stand up around town, but I didn't do the stand up at the festival. And then recently I did a Kickstarter to uh to get money to go to the festival and I got like a lot of money.

Wow, lot more than I asked for.

Wow, it's pretty cool. Like I made my I asked for fifteen thousand and I got it in twenty four hours. Really, yeah, it was pretty crazy, totally like seeing the career I've had very unexpected.

To be honest, did you cry a little bit?

Uh? Yeah, there were tears. I hugged my dog.

Can I just do that? Can I take a like, show a picture of an MRI of my hip and say, hey, dad is having trouble walking?

Okay? So that usually it's about artistic endeavors or okay. I think what you're what you're trying to do is, uh, what if I make my hip something called sadmea dot com? I already go there one?

Yeah, there we go Glendale Boulevard North. What if I make my hip more aesthetically pleasing and not just.

If you said I want to take my hip on tour, yeah, and show people how good I can walk, then then you might be able to get away. Oh okay, but they, but they they watched the Kickstarter people and may see if it's oh right, okay, straight through the light.

No, because I've heard of my friend invented some sort of a weed hiding piece of wood that it was.

Really cools, like it looked like people out there doing that. Because because what we need right now is places to hide. It's just been a problem for so long and.

Knows where to put it.

As a result, he did not get the funding. Smart asses, so weird he you know, he didn't know it was going to become legal.

He made those weed necklaces he was thinking of because you can really just flaunt it these days.

It was a neat little apparatus. It was like a rubik scube, but it was like a puzzle.

It's very cool. And also you get a.

Wood puzzle, a puzzle, a wooden weed puzzle.

That's this is This is not only the worst product I've ever heard, but I think it might be the worst conversation I've ever been. Let's go right, Let's go right.

Let's go up that hill for no damn tall hill.

Yeah, this is the San Francisco Hill.

So so when I'm.

Gonna show you something when we get down here, you guys are gonna laugh. So this is this.

Is going to be the Barca Darrow.

I'm gonna show you where I got a I got a ticket driving here. Yeah. See it's just like you can't see as you come, oh my god, over the hill.

I feel like Steve McQueen.

Okay, so now you come down here to this light, and do you see any lights that say no, do you see any signs say no left turn?

I certainly do.

Are they pretty pretty hard to see? Yeah?

Well now there's three of them.

Yeah. So I came rolling up at nine am and made that left. Oh wow, it's like it's like and the cop pulls me where he goes did you see any of the signs? And I was like I didn't. It's like really, and I'm like no, seriously, I didn't. And then the next day I drove here, I was like, oh my god, I am an idiot.

There's never been more no left turns.

But there's not. There's not a place in LA that has more no left times. That's fine.

You know what I always say, taking left.

Here, Yeah, you're taking a left. I always wait for the light to turn though. Yeah. Yeah that's a red light.

That's just standard rule following.

Yeah.

I always say, you know what, I I didn't look up because my eyes were on the road.

That's always a good one.

Yeah, I mean my eyes were on the road.

There's cars, So you don't pay attention to signs or street lights, not when.

There's cars in front of me. When it's a light and it's red and you're coming to a stop, don't you look at the car in front of you and not wander around with your eyes up in the air like you're like, You're like, you just don't care exactly.

I'm I am right now very happy that you're in the passenger seat because what you're saying doesn't make sense to me.

I will back up. I'm just saying, when I'm talking to the coppers, man and I want to get out of a ticket, yeah, I have visions and I'm not I'm not front exactly. I just I'm looking out the road and I've had a lot of I'm not I'm not drunk.

I did watch an episode of Cops where a cop, a cop pulled the guy over and I was like, that guy's drunk. And the cop like checked out his ID and was like, all right, guys, just uh, you know, be safe tonight. And then and he walks away and the guy leans it out the wind. He goes, yeah, man. He starts talking to the cop and the CoP's trying to walk away back to his car, and guy keeps talking and then the cop goes, all right, get out of the car. Oh wow, he talked himself into a ticket.

Oh that's amazing.

Also, a very bad cop because I was proud. Oh wow.

He just didn't want to deal with it. And he's like, well, now that your alcohol breath has actually seeped into the fire bears of my uniform, I should probably pull you over or give my is anyone else in the car anymore?

Just let me wait? He down.

This happens all the time. Slow down this time, Karen. You're right. If I was driving, we'd be in danger.

Wait, Dave, can you just tell me the general plan of how should I just go to Melrose and go all the.

Way down at uh?

You? Uh no, I don't think we're gonna go to Melrose. Let me look at my math thing.

Sunset here.

It depends on what the traffic's like. I uh no, you're gonna go straight. You're definitely gonna go straight. You might get on the one o one though, Okay, Yeah, I would say one on one two. Uh. That's the way I usually do it.

Oh, I know where we are, now, do you?

I love this?

See that's I don't know the city very well because I live in Venice.

Is that true?

I've always lived there.

Why it's like being by the ocean. Yeah, But then what happens when you want to go anywhere.

I don't know. I think that about where the hell you live out in bum fuck mountain town.

You guys come on only as soon as.

We pulled up to your house and and and park behind your juke a car that says lady like as your little dog. I thought, win more of a gay man in whatever when your butt beat of a man's shipping out gay dildo the car. Oh, I'm sorry you're.

So you're a little defensive about them.

Maybe you're having questions about how far away you move from society or are you gonna design your own flag cabin? Man? I I enjoy be sure, you guys, I have each every day way like every day every day I wake up, I'm like.

Why out there? Why? Yeah? Wat sweater?

Man? I I really do have. You're right, I don't know why I live by the beach. I drive too much.

It's great out there, the weather's great, but then it's just getting in and out of there.

Oh it's the worst, man, And I do it now that I'm doing these commercial audition things. I'm not bragging. I'm just talking about what I've been doing. Sure, so I put on my sweater. I I leave on my novelty mustache.

That's real.

And I you know, I added for the and I fucking you know. It's a long drive. It's a pain in the ass. I don't get a lot done.

See. See you're right bunking on the highway.

The highway.

Whoa that guy? I know why they're hunking? Holy shah. Well, you know when it's cherry apple.

Red, someone's getting to the party.

Get that.

Oh my god, someone's got a dance.

I just realized we're Yeah, we are podcasting on a late Saturday night, and then we're getting off here.

This is dangerous. And then from here we're just on Melrose. And since it's the the Melrose Improv, you guys get it. Yeah, but it's on this street.

Yeah, that's why we're getting off on Melrose.

Karen, and you said, hmmm, I'm also in Scorpions Mondays on CBS.

Oh what's that?

Oh there's my Oh.

Look at that plural or singular?

Yep, Yeah, I'm on score.

This scene is pure.

He was talking so bad that I forget the news.

He's on multiple episodes. One episode is called Scorpion. Several of them wear.

A hat and a little black hat.

Yeah, you're the poor man's here.

And Paul No, No, that's the kid from American Pie that has sex with Steffler's mom.

No, that's true.

I have twenty that is not him.

I'm his fan. Sean William Scott, Yeah that's him.

That's him there, that's him.

A windbreaker.

These guys are both arguing that if you're listening, go to IMDb, go to the Scorpion IMDb and see that that kid wasn't in American Pie.

I'm the gift.

He grew up, he's a man. You expect everyone to look the same forever.

I don't feel like simple. I feel people don't completely change their faces from teen years to They don't they they don't morph their skull structure.

And I know you do another human.

I mean it could happen. I just haven't seen him with human was his face.

He just thinned up and grew a goatee and put on your hat that you're wearing.

I'm starting to think you don't tell the truth about anything.

I guarantee I'm gonna look it up right now, at the risk of it being good podcasting.

Jesus Airia, So what it's called Jesus Airia and internet going to Laicia Jesus Aria like like like a but for Jesus.

A restricted area only the Lord walks around.

Yeah, and they it's great here because they just stick it in a in a building that looks like it could also be a grocery store.

Oh wow, there are a lot of little well I'm not seeing one now, but.

Those jesus Arias that you're talking about. The music they do in there is the literal opposite of like Baptist gospel music.

What do you mean.

It's always like somebody playing a keyboard badly and then people barely singing.

That's amazing.

Have you ever walked by and listened to the music. It's always very off key and kind of sad, like.

That's incredible, everybody. I want to see that. Do they also have a washers and dryers in there? Do you listen to the word of Jesus?

I know that Karen does. God.

Wow, you weren't going to slow down, Karen is because if you had hit it, the card just crumpled into his giant, giant vehicle.

Well, here's the thing. That's how you teach people a lesson.

No, you did look Hey, I just died on your car. What do you think about that?

It's like you're not going to get over onto your side of the road. Well, then you're going to get a big slice of this car, do you.

Think Do you think they made the Milano sign purposely flash.

The Yep, he's an American pie, all of them. That's the guy. His name is Eddie k Eddie K Thomas. So you guys, you know.

What fucking hat that. I couldn't tell what was happening.

Yeah, well you said that. I was claiming his face structured mark.

I think he looks a little bit like Ryan Gosti grew.

He's handsome now just because you're confronted about being attracted to him.

It's I like the hat.

I did like that. Oh we changed the subject.

Well, we were talking about talking about Milano. I'm sorry you got into your IMD A lit store over there and the light was flashing on it coming sexy.

Part of the city. It's a lot, it's really doing it.

Have you ever gone to that place? Stereo l Yeah?

Great? Get the Nochi Yeah, I like I like it.

And it's loosely a motorcycle themed, which is a trend I'm seeing like.

You know, did you go to it when it was really small and it was just four tables?

I didn't.

That was awesome back then, it was better back in the day. Well, it was just cool. It was like a tiny, tiny, family owned place.

I went in there with a group of fancy people and they were all ignoring me and no one thought I was anything. And then I got recognized by the bartender from living in Austin, not from show biz, just he is like, hey, did you used to live in Austin?

And did the fancy people give a ship?

Yeah? They were like, wow, somebody knows somebody, and free drinks were involved and I pretty much almost got carried off on their shoulders.

Wow, why were you with people that didn't care about you?

Yeah, what's what's going on with you that you have?

Sometimes you gotta hang out with some big, fancy, high flute and assholes if you want to.

It's so well put.

No, I was just some friends of my lady friend.

But it was a victory.

It was a victory.

I felt like Pele doing one of those backflip kicks.

Back flip kicks.

Yeah, the ball is no, that's the ladies. He he would Pele would flip back. He'd do a backflip while the ball is in where when otherwise people would head butt the ball.

Any backflip, it's not called head butting the ball. It's called heading the ball.

Oh, look at the cans.

None of your soccer terms are correct, soccer fan. She would head butt the ball much like Irish. Yeah, yeah, she she would. She would see the ball coming this pea chit and she'd head butt the ball like like like she was in a public Is it like the way like a like? Uh, Sean White will get on a skateboard and he'll do like a flippy Do.

You just got to where he lived?

Oh?

Man, I didn't know you'd be hitting so close town.

That's Bogey's Liquors that was actually owned by Bogie.

And Lauren bcaull would sometimes work there on the weekends to keep it real.

It used to be pars like her, and then they hired one employee.

Yeah, I'm here.

If we can do soccer humor.

I had no idea what you were talking about until you explained it. I had no clue.

Well, sometimes my jokes are intricate.

Well, you know what, save it for Ben Crenshaw. He's an old golfer. Yeah, it might even be dead.

But we still have Crenshaw Boulevard to remember him by.

But for one reason, when I was a child and my grandparents would watch golf, I decided that I like Ben Crenshaw. Oh really, And now that I look back on it, I don't know why the fuck I would care about any golfer and root for them.

You probably had to do something like you were bored.

To death, that is true, maybe like the knickers he was wearing, or something they did wear.

They did wear really great knickers back then.

That was a good time for golf fashion, the Crunchhaw years.

We're throwing around the word knickers everybody again.

I just want to throw out there, I r I p Ellen, you know what.

The only problem I mean, there's a lot less knickers on the course these days because people are wearing more of a slack.

What do you think this is a good podcast so far?

No? Now, Usually when we commented on it being bad at Spirals Downward.

I think, what we'll go in and we'll bleep out your addresses and then everything.

That's my plan.

I like that idea. I'm for it. I mean I've been here. I've been here for the whole thing, and I think it's an unmitigated disaster.

Well, what every time I was saying something that you didn't find funny or interesting? Why didn't you make a beeping noise, like a beeping sound to affect yourself? Oh?

I know, because I'm because I'm not an asshole. Oh no, wait, that's not a good excuse.

Wait a second, dad, let's talk about let's talk about your preparation for the show tonight. How many minutes are you going to do?

Are you doing any.

Jokes?

I was thinking about maybe doing a new thing, but I think I might not.

What's it about?

What's what about? The fits? Uh? It is about when I when I was five and I went to Yellowstone and I plugged up the toilet in the in the hotel room.

People love poop stories.

Doing what a poop story is as much it is? It is a dad's story. Okay, it doesn't.

Go well, your dad doesn't handle it.

Do you believe that way? No, he doesn't. He was a drinker.

Yeah, he is a bit of a boozeound.

And that usually doesn't lead to reason.

Now, well, I'm sorry that there's a story where you are where you beaten.

No, it was just crazy. He wasn't beaten. I was never beaten. I was beaten once, but I deserved it.

Yeah, I what year were you guys? Beaten of it?

Where you slapped around?

No?

No, I was spanked.

Yes, it's spanking.

You know that happened. Yeah, I got spanked.

I apparently didn't do anything wrong until I was like fourteen or fifteen.

Then we started getting spanked.

Yeah, that's when I started getting spanked, which is.

Weird, and we were never spanked.

And then, honestly, my mom tried to spank me once when I was seventeen and I grabbed my arms.

She was so mad. She was like, god, damn it. And I kept moving my ass way, going what are you doing? Yeah, that's what are you doing? And when she just gave up and left my room.

Yeah.

I remember my mom trying to hit my butt with a wooden spoon and I just caught it and then I broke it on my knee.

That's amazing.

And then no more of this, please, I think. Then she wetted some toilet paper and threw it at my face.

And then were you in school with your mom.

Bathroom.

She made me push a penny around the toilet seat, said push it, frosh, push it, and then clean my towels in the locker room. It just turned into a lighthearted, wet toilet paper fight, though, And that's you know, even my mom. She couldn't be disciplinary, you know, she just get caught up in the childlike fanfare.

Girl soul food or we just passed a sort of comedy club called sALS. Yeah, okay, where have you ever been there?

I have seen people?

Is we just passed it?

Sal's Comedy Joint.

Sal's Comedy Joint. Apparently it's one in New York? And then they have one here? Isn't that funny?

Who works at it? If we aren't?

I don't know what happens there.

Just comedy store dudes.

No, I don't even I don't even know if it's that. I don't know what. I think. It's like just a glorified open mic.

I bet that everyone, well.

It's like a restaurant. It used to be a restaurant. He used to be called the Vienna.

I bet everyone that works there has kangall hats backwards, kangall hat I hope so well, Oh, I'm sorry, you like those hats, don't you.

I'm sorry, Well, he loves Australia.

I love. Do you know what they get really mad at outback steakhouse when you take one of those boomerangs off the wall and throw it.

Yeah, what if you say? What if you say I love raw Warrior?

And then and then they're like, okay, let's bring him another round of bluemin onions.

That's what they say.

Have you ever eaten a blue onion?

Yeah? It's gross? Is it like? Is it a deep fried onion? Yeah?

It's like fried, you know, it's wouldn't just.

Be like rings.

Then it's so greasy.

It's they're less breaded and so it's just the onion with a little bit of breading. But it is the greasiest onion fry shoul.

The show.

My mouth is watering.

Where do they do bloomin onions? Do they do them all over the place?

Just out.

Copyright?

It's the most standout outback menu item name wise, and I always want to order one, but just thinking about.

Actually authentic Australian yep, I don't know.

I don't know how it is. Well, here we're in a situation where we could easily podcast for twenty more minutes. However, we are approaching the improv, So Dave, I'll leave it up to you.

Do you want to What do you think?

What do you think?

I mean?

We could round the block and try and wrap this thing up on a high note and like fire on all We could just do it better, or we could drop you off.

We could, we could or we could Oh god, oh holy shit, are we being arrested ocasting? We can keep driving them. Fine.

Your show starts at ten, Yeah, and uh yeah, you won't be up first Spring Chicken. Yeah, I don't come on, You're at least mid line up.

I'll start with a tight shot. He'll do about his impossible beard.

Scott I in from Anthrax is on the show. How was I not listening?

Welcome the Guardians. Now I don't now, I don't know what's happening. It says, Welcome the Guardians.

Scott Ian, and then closing the show will be scott Ian's goatee. Jake Johanson is their next classic classic joke formula. Jake. I love him.

He's amazing.

He's up there with Brian Reagan as far as just comics that all comics like and people. Even if you wear camouflage shirts with no sleeves. You like Jake Johansson, that's true.

He came up and had lunch with me up in the hills that I live in. Oh really a couple weeks ago. Does he lives uh near Chris in Santa Monica? Oh? I do.

I just like the way he does his comedy. A lot of people think that I'm influenced by him. True. I mean I wouldn't go that for I didn't know of him before I started doing comedy.

I didn't think you were influenced as much as you just lifted.

I'm kind of copying him. I was going to get to that.

I thought they called it felching.

Yeah, well that's.

When you know, I'm not sure what's happening.

I think I think I know what felching is. And I don't think that's something we can talk about on the podcast.

Oh do you guys keep it clean on here? Yeah?

We don't talk about drinking semen from a man's butthole.

Probably my favorite Christian podcast.

And that reminds me it's time to read from Psalms.

My favorite podcast is Fox and Friends.

And your favorite Your favorite religious podcast.

You know, I like I like to wake up with them in the morning, and then I like to listen to it again when I'm driving home because I because then I think deeper about what they were talking about.

Fantastic mister Fox and Friends.

Yes, oh that's a good a. I love that movie.

That's a sketch right there, Fantastic mister Fox and Friends.

It's all about combining nouns.

Yeah, it really is.

Just throw darts at a spinning wheel with two things on it, and you got yourself a sketch. What A What are you working on now, Chris? You want to show well, I have a I have a podcast and that's been going pretty well. I've been doing commercials. I've got a few commercials this year and I've been doing that. But no, I'm not working that world Stumma's got canceled. That's done. So uh, not doing a TV stuff.

And Karen, you're on at midnight?

We both want to be.

Okay.

No, I'm I just started working on two Broke girlstation.

I didn't even know. I heard there's two of them. I didn't even know that wasn't official. Congratulations right now I'm.

To us. Yeah, someone's going to make some money.

I'm not afraid of money. I'll tell you that, right.

That's Laura Klinger's on there.

Right, Well, she's a consultant, so she comes on tape nights. She is the funniest person on the planet.

Morgan Murphy's on there.

Murphy's on there. Pat Walsh is on there. I don't think anyone else.

I don't care about the rest of them. Yeah, they're all that'll be really fun.

It's pretty great.

Have you say, have you met Garrett Morris? Yes, that's kind of cool.

Yeah, it's very cool. He's hilarious. The girls are really funny and really good actresses.

They're very who are who are the main actresses?

Oh?

I have a crush on her? Can you can you introduce me to her? I think she's so pretty.

I don't think that's how it works at all. All Right, what you just said is slightly terrifying.

Can I just show up to where you work and then you point to where and I'll go introduce myself.

How many Chris? How many women have you made cry?

Oh that I'm not related to? Probably most of them, Dave, probably most of them. But you sometimes it's because I've done something impressive tears of joy.

Oh they're like it's a shock and off thing.

But they've all cried. They've all cried. That's a very good question.

I'm now trying to think of how many girls I've made cry?

Have you made Karen cry?

I don't think so. Have I brought you to tears?

Ever? Karen? Karen doesn't cry that much, not really.

Karen and I get along. I made Karen cry, And when I'm being a weirdo, Karen knows how to real me.

I don't think you remain crying.

I made you cry once you did.

What you do.

I sent you a mean card.

Was that the one where you called me meat?

No? That was in my joke book that you read. I had it. I just wrote a line in my chokbook that said my girlfriend's nickname is meat. You read it got all mad at me, and I was like, it's a joke.

And it wasn't about Karen at all.

No, but it was funny bullshit.

It was.

It was totally about me.

I don't play. It's just a silly word thing.

How what is saying my girlfriend's a slab? My girlfriend's just this fucking hideous thing. It is essentially what I was reading.

Doesn't it only matter that it's funny. Who it hurts is irrelevant.

I was trying to explain this the other day to my friend because she's like, you should go on tender. I'm like, I can't. I can't date anyone that's not a comic, and I hate.

That.

Fuck, I'm so fucked. I'm it's ridiculous.

Yeah, well, but here's the weird thing you give if you're a comic. You get bored by other people really easily because they're not making you laugh or whatever.

I mean.

I tried. I've gone out with people who weren't and who wanted to be funny, and that's.

Almost it's so sad to me, Like it makes me feel like a weird it makes me feel like a doctor's without border situation. I'm just like, I'm trying to save you, but I can't. But let's pretend you'll.

Be able to keep your arm while you live for the next five minutes. It's that sad.

I know a guy who I see him all the time, like on a weekly basis, and he is always cracking jokes and no one ever laughs at them, but he never stops cracking jokes.

Yeah, and it's like, wouldn't At some point you go, uh, this isn't working out and he's a comedian. No he's not.

He's just a guy. I mean.

The one thing I realized is there's just different types of sense of senses of humor or like ability of humor.

But I need top notch, top notch. Yeah you want to You've been spoiled your whole life.

Yes, I have so fine.

I just I like when girls laugh and so they don't necessarily always have to be a joke teller to get jokes. I like when I like when girls appreciate funny and they acknowledge it, but then they bring something else to the table like that. I don't have, like any other skill.

Imagine a guy doing that though, it just doesn't happen. Oh, guys think they're the funniest one.

Oh man, boy, here we go. But oh all right, we just walked onto Twitter.

Oh boy, I just want to be honest about my feelings.

No, I think you're right, I really do. I know what you're saying.

I know what you're saying too.

Patriarchy, that's all.

Yeah, guys need to be the funny one. I think there's a lot of guys that couldn't date a woman that was funnier than them.

Yeah, I'm in my opinion, there's a ton I'm just gonna keep telling myself that's the reason.

That's all. There's no other reason other than that.

I'm totally blake Lively. It's crazy, it's so tragic.

Well, I don't understand why if I didn't just visit you at work, you couldn't go turn to cat. Hey, this is my friend Chris Fairbanks. He's a professional comedian. You've you've liked here. Here's something you don't know. She has liked some of my Instagram photos. Oh no, that's what we open with, unprovoked. She doesn't know. Don't you think that's legitimate? She's like, I like the kind of this guy's Granted it was a photo of one of my childhood bikes, but he didn't have to she didn't

Can I just tell you the worst news that you're ever gonna have right now? Oh no, what she's going out with James Grobin is Josh.

Jos Oh way, which one's Josh Grog.

He's the guy that started out as the religious singer.

He does Christmas songs, but now he does.

Like comedy things because oh yeah, oh god, how bizarre, how bizarre?

How are we supposed to feel? How are we supposed to feel about that? Because I feel uncomfortable?

Yeah, I don't know the grober oh groubin all right, I guess we podcast it enough. I mean, this is my favorite stop motion cat graffiti in town. It's wonderful. I did a nice vine of it. I'll show you when we close out.

Dave, do you have anything else, like any topic, hot button topics that we should talk about?

Yeah? When is just going up? Yeah? Uh? Day after tomorrow we covered Cosby? Yeah, yeah, we talked about Yeah, we really got into that in depth.

We went deep into that hot button topics. Sorry that I argued with you about. We covered up whether or not a patchwork robe is the right thing to wear. It's fine, drugging.

Some perfectly perfect.

I love that in the description he even he is wearing like a Cosby robe. He was wearing a multi colored patchwork robe.

I mean, how awful. You're slowly like nodding out. You can you can tell you've been drugged. You're slipping into places. And then a horrible sweater with a joggle.

That's the last thing you remember. That alone is like just the sweaters must have been so horrible.

Most of the people coming forward are just describing horrible embroidery in the last moment.

The color coat coming. It's happening in a Broadway show. You know.

I black college athletes.

I went and saw him in in February. Do stand up? Oh yeah? And uh, I was in like the second row. And the reason I got the tickets because it was just a solo ticket, and I was like, I'll go and I'll just sit in the second row instead of sitting away in the back and going with somebody. Those were the choices.

Sure.

So I sit next this couple as older couple and there and there, and they were asking me about something is yeah, I'm a comedians. I want to see him, and they go do you swear? And I go, yeah, because we do not like swearing in comedy. And now we're like to sit next to them and go what about raping? Yeah, do you like raping in comedy? Because that's his mix.

I hate that that was his thing. I already didn't like that about him, that he and that was kind of the thing that Hannibal Burris was talking about, is that he felt it was his job to here was the moral to two black people. He felt like he's like, no, pull up your pants and you don't need to swear, and like he had things to say about Richard Pryor, and it's like, oh, guess who's always been funny or new sir.

I just read a big article about him and I concluded that he's always been a fucking asshole.

Yeah. Yeah, he's like connesson.

We just let him get away with it because he was the cause. But he's always been kind of a dick. Yeah.

Well, and also, you always have to keep your eye peel those people that want to tell everyone else how they're supposed to live.

Yeah, they're always secret hypotheta doing something terrible.

It's like it's like the televangelists.

Yeah.

Always, Although Swaggert was on top of this.

Game, swagger have something special?

Did you ever? I can still in my mind see the picture of the prostitute that he was jerking off in front of because she was such a sad let's out.

I want to Oh, I wish we could show JPEGs.

Have you ever talked about Jimmy Swaggert on the doll Up?

No? Oh no, that's a good one.

That's a good one. I'm I really want I want a hand in this podcast somehow, as.

Absolutely tell me subjects.

Well, here's and here's what I was going to say about the Doc Ellis idea, because I Dave and I were talking to her and I said, have you ever talked about Doc Ellis?

Who's the guy that pitched on acid pitched.

A no hitter on Amazing story and they're making a movie about it. But I think if if Gareth has never heard anything about it right, which also.

Is funny because it honestly sounds like the wrong name. What I'm saying, I know Gary totally Gary.

If he's never heard anything about it, the whole point of that podcast to me is you telling him something he's not right.

That is true.

That is true.

So it's amazing how many things he has.

It's funny we're talking about this. I was on a plane once and I sat next to a televangelist guy. These EVANGELICALA was a father and son duo, and they went to these mega churches and they were huge dudes, and they were black Baptist preacher guys. They had all these rings and all this money, and they kept asking me about what I thought of God and stuff, and I'd made it apparent that I was like, oh, I don't know, I kind of don't want to talk about that.

And he was riddled with bullet holes.

Really yeah, yeah yeah, And they said, and that's when I found God. Once I was bleeding out of twenty five holes and got with my dad and now I travel with him. It was they were really sweet people. That's kind of they just thought that, you know, the devil planeted dinosaur bones to test our faith or whatever.

Oh wow, yes, wow.

She looks like it looks like a man that's about to do a don't litter Native America.

Yeah, did he find her at Pachanga?

Damn?

Damn.

Let's do a podcast called slam and Process, just full of pictures and say what they look like.

Everyone's going to tune in because they're going to think it's audio of us actually having sex with prostatutes.

I said, go after people in the lowest rung, and comedy is really about.

They're already on crystal maths, so we'll be able to make fun of their acne and their emaciated frame.

And their lack of teeth m hm, and they're just their general sadness.

Yeah, it's great.

There's a lot of loss. Dave. Wait, now do you need Do you need to ride home?

I can ooper if you guys don't want to wait, that's fine.

That's awesome news.

Yeah. I figured that was what it was going to be.

Oh good, Okay.

I was telling Chris, there's no way that you weren't going to expect a full on round trip ride. No, I can uper and get mad if you weren't going to.

Have it well, I didn't. I didn't think you would get mad. I think you're handling it very well.

I mean, I'm going to tell people the ship you were talking about them before they got in the car refresh.

I think it's I think it's very honest and awkward.

Yeah, sure, two a's that's what I go for.

Uncomfortable. There's no way this dick is not going to make us drive him back to his fucking you know the day.

You think you know?

Okay, well just wait, Karen stopped yelling. We're in its driveway.

Hi.

Hi, Karen was just telling me a story about how nice you are. Well, I kind of want to come in and watch this.

It's such a good show.

But I have a friend of mine who's eagerly waiting for me to entertain him. He's on my couch, he's visiting, so I have to head back home. Your fake friend, he's a real friend. Sometimes he's fake because I think he talks behind my back.

Is it a celebrity.

No, he's the editor of Thrasher's skateboard magazine.

Oh man, you guys must have some great skateboard talks.

Yeah, we talked mostly about that time we did a rollover flippity kick.

Oh man, I love the flippity dudes.

Wait, can I tell a story of the last time I was at the improv? Yes, I think I stop me if I've told this on this podcast.

Before, I have a horrible memory.

But shoot, okay, it's such a good story it won't matter if I've told it before.

Okay.

So me and Fortune Themes star are standing there talking in that new bar.

Heard it really?

Nope.

I had just done someone's and friend's show and she was about to do the coming up show. So we're standing there talking and some guy neither of us knew or had ever seen before, in a three piece suit with long hair. He looked like a magician came up and goes supermodels or female comics.

Oh god wow.

And I looked at him and.

Then looked at her and was going to walk away, and then he already started on his second thing. No he didn't oh wow, which was like, hey, ladies, I can't even do it please.

It was like because I was like, well, you just called.

Me ugly, so I ain't get to leave now, Like I don't have to fucking stand here and listen to anything you have to say.

But he thought that was like gonna be his entree.

And then he started talking to Fortunate about something and she was just staring at him and laughing because it was insane.

And at one point he was like, you're.

Doing the show coming up, Okay, I'm gonna give you five books if you say the word penguin on stage.

And that's when I just went, I'll talk to you later and run and walked.

Away and left her with him.

Yeah, oh god, well that's free money. You have a whole penguin bit.

I was like, oh my god, I was going to open with mister Popper's penguin, but I'm not gonna give this motherfucker the satisfaction.

Oh shi, it's a penguin in a box.

Who does that to someone they don't know their apartment floor?

Nobody hear how rich mister Popper was. That was pretty great. I think of it every time I go to the improv.

That's every time I'm in there there's someone like that that comes up.

It's like, hey, yeah, wait, are you going to it?

In the thirties, Yeah, some jam Jam, Jim John Wales, Epman Brothers as in the chest, All right, that's.

The year was nineteen thirty. Man, this is this is the Thanksgiving episode?

Yes, so what let's wrap it up by everybody's saying the one thing that they're most grateful for this year.

I would say the genocide of the American Indian Oh are there?

Are they all gone?

Mostly? I mean it was pretty bad.

Okay, Okay, well I was my weird mind takers. Yeah, I can come up with a new one. I'm thankful for the fact that we are We've got a successful podcast and that always goes smoothly. And I'm thankful, honestly for the fact that we have not yet murdered a guest with manslaughter vehicular manslaughter.

That's gonna happen.

That's what I'm thankful for that. Hey, we're parked, You're off the hook.

Okay, I'm I'm thankful for Pumpkin Pie.

You did yours already?

Yeah, yours was my person was a joke.

Okay, okay, the real one. I knew it was the real One's pie our Lord Jesus Christ.

Oh which Pie or Christ?

You have to pick one? Fuck? Okay, Pie Pie.

Karen, what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

If no one is going to do it?

Boy, I'm gonna say I had the best one.

Yeah, because it was sincere Yeah right, yeah, you just.

You guys got all flippant.

Okay, I'm I'm grateful for just the fact that the art of comedy interlocks all of our lives together so that we have a reason to hang out and talk to each other.

All that.

Now, that is overly genuine.

Yeah you know what that was. That was revenge? Genuine?

Oh that really was. That was a slap.

Yeah, you fucking out genuine to me. I dig deep, have a good comedy?

Oh yeah, Finn, tell us one quick fin st fin?

Oh god, there's so many Finn stories. What's a good Uh? So Finn? Uh? You know, he's a really good soccer player.

And is it because you pressure him?

No, he's just really good. And he started shooting from the halfway line, shooting and scoring goals.

Shooting like kicking that sad, Yeah you should be.

And I said, why aren't you jubbling up? And guess it's just so boring. But he's scoring like eight goals and kicking it from the halfway line. Wow, okay, why don't you fucking take it back a notch? That's boring. I'm just gonna kick it from here. It's like, what the fuck is happening?

You get him into a traveling team right now?

That's so cool, that's.

Well there.

I knew a couple of girls in my high school who were on traveling teams. It was kind of a big deal.

And my friend Amy had a boyfriend, Mark, who was who was a professional soccer player somewhere in Europe. But he was not like first dread right, and he was the best looking person I've ever really.

Yeah, there's those people.

Yeah, it works out for you. I wouldn't know anything about it, but you do look good. I mean I've seen pictures.

It looks good.

There is a there is a five year old that plays in Finn's league that was scouted by a traveling team. They came to the practices and they watched him practice, and then they two teams they made offers for him, and the teams are for kids that are eight and older. And he's scoring goals. He's a five year old. Oh wow, it's crazy.

That's a huge at that age. There's no bigger gap in like size and development.

Oh no. And I watched him play today and I was like, oh my god, he's amazing.

Wow, Now, aren't you worried?

If Finn is really good, aren't you worried put him into some advanced thing that's gonna make his life about like on.

The fast track to professional anything. I'm not gonna do that, Okay, it's fucked up. Right, then they just only do one.

Thing he can Uh, he'll he'll go in and out of stuff. I think he'll like soccer. Right now, he likes baseball, and he's like soccer boring, and then and then he'll get bored a baseball and be a soccer And I just don't think. I don't believe in that kind of Yeah, maybe you should believe. Hey, you're five, it's about time for traveling club. What the fuck are you doing?

You're getting scouted?

Maybe start thinking about putting a book in front of his face. I'm just kidding. And my parents never did that. As being another.

Person, my wife's got, you know, a PhD. And she's all about he's gonna go to college, and like he might not go to college. You don't know what.

A little cocaine in front of him and see if he likes that.

Yeah, maybe he don't, haven't Jesus Christ if you put cocaine in front of a five year old, and how much talking there is. It's gibberish, it's just nonsense.

So many questions.

Oh my god, it's crazy, A lot of puzzles. Lot of cats have hair, all right, that I shouldn't giving you the blow. Oh kids on coke.

It's a great, it's great.

And now you guys are my uber, right we I mean we. I said I was going to order one, but I meant I was going.

To order you to sit here for three hours.

I'm gonna go. Here's what I'm gonna do. I to go in and do my set and I'm gonna just drink till two and then I'll come out and you guys will give me right, Okay, well, just idle, do you have enough gas to do that?

Pard?

I mean?

And if I don't, we'll work it out.

Okay, I'll just lay on the sidewalk.

Okay. Right by the way, you really took it up a notch.

Thank you.

Thanks for being on our podcast. Maybe one day we can be on the dollop.

Don't I don't have guess?

Oh yeah, yeah, I keep forgetting. You've said that a few times. I don't know, I don't know what's wrong. I've been that way all day. Life Ah yeah, by day I mispronounced.

The word life. So I'm doing We're doing a live doll up December eighth, that melt down in Los Angeles. That'll be fun.

Wait a second, don't you have a guest on.

That we do, Paton Oswald? Well, we do have guests on the live ones, but we've only done two live ones.

Well, maybe one day Karen and I can be on the line.

Maybe Karen, Maybe Karen. Karen's actually a fan of the podcast.

I know how it goes.

You barely know the name of it. It's it's a it's the.

Friend this weekend. Say I'm sorry I don't listen to your podcast, And I said, please never say anything like that to me. Yeah, that's the saddest.

Sentence I've ever heard, the weirdest thing ever that goes without saying. Most people don't.

Why would you have to bring it up?

Why would you?

We just don't.

Please don't be sorry.

I'm gonna request that you do the Dad toilet story and I hope it goes well.

I should try it.

And I'm sorry. This whole time in the car, I haven't looked at you. You obviously don't know about the cars. I know from my face.

Well, you guys, I look way different. Yeah.

I got shot in the face. Yeah, shots all right, Yeah, well it's Montana.

I shouldn't. Yeah, And I'm glad you came. I'm glad I came with you and uh Karen welcome.

It was good to having another podcast with you, just between you and I guess time from Dave. Yeah, but also with Dave. I already told him I enjoyed him so secondary to that you are the secondary to it. Yeah.

I should do a regular ending like where you honked the horn or we have one you've.

Been listening to. Do you need a ride?

D y n A R?

Are you leaving?

You want to way back?

Either?

We want to be there, doesn't matter how much that is. You clean this time and they turning on and gave me we want to send you us in Sia.

Welcome you back home. Tell us all about every scared he was it fine? Now porn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need.

With Karen and chriss

H