Ep. 22 - Todd Barry

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how.

Much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminal and gay a.

We want to send you off instat. We want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Now? Porn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need ride.

With Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Coulgarat we're headed to l a X, very close to LAX as usual. We are very close already.

And then we're but we're headed in.

We are about to head into the actual terminal. No, terminal would be the indoor portion, right.

No, I think you could be like a terminal.

Terminal has a real loose definition, you know, unless you're that you're ill in that way, then it's pretty.

Uh yeah, then it's very specific to death. Yeah, you're just playing terminal.

So we're driving into the death of the.

Airport, right into the cancer part.

Good jokes. Right from the get go, I could tell them feeling it. Oh, thank you. Here we are the cops and we're getting stopped. Thanks. I always think they're going to stop. Clearly. You have a microphone and I have earphones. He looked right eye at us and said, oh, that's no threat. We're doing a podcast about bombs.

How to make them, how to distribute them, how to hide them in your shoes, all of it.

But no, yeah, sure, we'll go right into the airport. That's what you answer.

Today we are picking up Todd Berry. He's the world famous Todd He's famous throughout the globe.

He's beloved. He is, he's despised.

He is just especially by oh I can't remember his name. Doesn't that suck when you want to say something, But it's just an actor who cares. He's in The Wrestler and Mickey Rourke didn't. He's despised by Mickey Rourke. Oh man, that was like that the truth.

No, you were just in real life.

Yeah, and it's loose. I mean, it's it's up to debate whether or not it would have been a funny reference. He's from the he was in the Wrestler. I was using an old credit.

Todd Berry was in the wrestler he was. I didn't know that. I never saw the wrestler.

It's great, it's great for a while. He works in when he decides he can't wrestle because his heart exploded. Yeah, he works in a deli of a grocery store, and Todd is the deli stop manager, grocery store manager. And he's really good.

I bet he is. I think he's a great actor. Every time I see him and stuff, he plays it perfectly.

He plays himself right, Well.

Yeah, I think everyone does. It's just you're wearing a different hat or color suits.

Right right. There's especially if you're playing Dick Tracy in something.

You've got your yellow suit for crime fighting, and then you wear the black suit for I don't.

Know, being a crime causer. A crime causer, it's just a different hat a.

Crime causer than you wear the black suit.

You know how all these these cops are wearing big yellow floppy hats.

Yeah, yep, that's the that's the way it is these days. Well, then I'm going to ask Todd about the wrestler when he gets into the car, because that's interesting to me.

Yeah, yeah, and I bet he'll I bet he has an anecdote.

Or he'll have a sassy remark.

Yeah, yeah, maybe maybe a quip, a quick one.

Yeah, guys, if you're listening right now, please get ready for japes and jabs, japes and jokes of course, yeah, and so much sass that you're going to have to you might have to take a SaaS pill.

All on a bed of riff.

I also flew today. Chris picked me up. I landed at twelve thirty, and I got a ride from my own.

Podcast What About. I thought maybe that this should have been a two parter.

No, I was not ready to do anything when I got off that plane.

I don't know how people do it. I don't know how they do our podcast.

I did not listen to him. Tell me what terminal? Did you overhear me?

No? Wait, what flight thing?

Yeah, it's so hard to drive and do things. But no, that's what I'm admitting is that I don't know.

Okay, we'll just drive real slows. Yeah, get oard of the right so we can see.

Him, gotcha?

Sorry?

Yeah, I kind of im not sure why I didn't pay attention.

Well, I bet you you were joking and he was joking.

Yeah, yeah, well he was giving information yeah.

Yeah, this is always the good. When you're going through logistics in your email during a podcast, it always makes for great These are the sounds of me looking at my email.

Is he on air China?

Just riff amongst yourself, Karen?

Is he on aeromat?

I'm about to figure it out?

How about Avianka?

I'll figure it out soon?

Did he say? Aka?

Oh?

Okay?

Pleasela?

Okay? I'm oh.

I love her Work's amazing. She used to come back.

That's one thing that woman could design as comedy.

I've often been told I look like Delta Burke, which is there's a lot of different ways to take it.

I just decided to take it in the good way and walk.

I remember when I was young, I thought she was the cat's pajamas. But you know, I liked As a kid, they always said my parents early on, they're like, you like full figured milks. Okay, here we go. American airlines. Yeah, they always said that, American airlines. They're like, oh, he loves a full figured milk.

He loves he loves the milk.

It's so gross the idea of your parents would use that terminology.

Oh, there's some great airlines over here. A Mexico.

Yeah, Air China. Yeah, you'd think that as many people as they're in or are in China, they'd have more than one little terminal.

Yeah, they have a tiny sign, very tiny voleris what's that?

I don't know? And why would air trying to not be in the international section.

I think we are in the international section.

No, No, that's at the end, that's in the cul de sac of the airport, if you will. That's the international right now. This is but you're right, yeah, Air Canada. I mean that's not exactly international.

There's Air Hawaiian totally.

Differently, a different country.

What's Arcafly I've never even seen that beforefly.

There's a lot of obscure little man pa airlines. Someone just buys a big, big old jet airliner one of my favorite songs, and then they.

I want to start my own airline.

That's people do do it? Oh yeah, go ahead, it's your rules. Go ahead and leap into traffic.

H You mean, like maybe they get a Kickstarter page going, and they're like to help me get this jumbo jet.

I promise that it's the story of Canada's West Yet some guy, I'm not kidding, but bought a plane and became an airline, and he started started with some smaller airlines or airplanes with his cousins.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a family affair.

And guys, you have to work the weekend. We need to get.

Sales, enough money, enough money to buy a Boeing seven seven.

Please, it's my dream. So I love people watching at the airport. Me too, because it goes like gorgeous, ugly, ugly, ugly, amazing.

That's that's what it's like in La.

Yeah. Yeah, gorgeous, ugly, ugly, amazing, amazing.

One man show.

Oh my god, that guy is on NCIS and then back around.

I love seeing extras from cop dramas. I said, I'm maybe losing my mind. It's American, yeah, and I have no idea where that is.

Well, now we are seriously in the Tom Bradley International Terminal because we're looking at EVA air We're looking at Thai Airways, we're looking at trans Arrow.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever even been weird.

How the how are those other countries secondary? They aren't quite international.

Iberia where's that?

I don't know. Liberia that's in Africa. Iberia, I don't know what all the lights in the l had burned out.

They just don't.

Aeroflot is the Russian airline that we flew. I went to Russia when I was in high school, and we all thought we were going to die for real.

Yeah, because flot sounds like the sound effect of a plane landing in.

A mark in the ocean.

Yeeah, totally arrow flat Aeroflot.

We were crying and praying on that flight. The whole plane shook like an old train car.

That's a horrible name for it. Oh, I'm let me get a ticket on euro explosion.

Oh, two tickets today uptown please, here's American.

Yeah, yeah, okay, let's okay, get ready, it's good.

Go ahead for the Todd Berry experience. Go ahead and cross, young couple from Poland.

Yes, wow, somebody's traveling nationally today.

Welcome.

And then that's not the that's not Todd Berry. There, that's not Todd What if.

He was wearing pu he's wearing a fedora like he's ready for lah you know what what?

He very well might not have his bag yet. Oh under American eagle for sign.

There's American Eagle four.

Oh, he's about to be in our car.

I'll come on you get ready, don't be nervous, don't.

Get mad at the crack. Just realize your bag got hung up on it. Pop your collar and get the f out. Oh boy, I don't Todd Berry, he's behind Hi.

There is?

He said Hi with his mouth.

He did.

Oh.

Now, look what I've done.

You've blocked it all?

Tod Berry, top Berry, get in here.

There we go.

Yeah, it's all cozy.

Oh wait, I oh where is the mic? Oh god, we've we've got a technical difficulty. The mic is caught under the baggage. Oh oh, won't you use it? Oh?

Yeah, actually use a mic?

Man, I love.

It's just so comfortable holding a mic that it makes sense.

You've done that before, You've held mics.

You uh, you hold mics around your apartment for practice, right? I do?

I uh use a hair comb when I'm practicing around the house. I just speak into a brush.

I like to sing into the top of a broom.

Have you ever practiced in front of a mirror like people think we do?

And that's only with kissing?

Todd? Where are you coming from today?

San Francisco? Four shows of Cobs?

How'd they go?

They're pretty good in that big room. It's big.

That room, it's humongous.

Yeah.

Do you prefer the punchline to Cobs now that.

I've played Cobs? Yes, No, it's just so big.

Yeah.

But I mean there were really there was. Crowds were surprisingly big.

Yeah.

What I'm saying is I drew.

Some people are saying that you destroyed them.

Killed every show, and I packed the place out.

I immediately read between the lines that's what I heard.

Yeah, but uh, yeah, it is big and it felt good to do shows in a big room. But do you know comedy works? Did I fill it out?

Did you paste the stage?

Oh?

Fill the stage?

Did you?

Just in case I ever get asked to do the odd Ball.

Fest, You're gonna be ready for the major anthem theaters.

I think, you know, I feel like I think I would do all right in that. Why haven't they booked me?

Were I've been talking to them about it. We're going to get it cleared up.

Were you invited to the Eugene Merman I was comedy.

I was, and uh I had already been booked by the time they asked me.

Karen Carrien. I just picked up Karen. She was at the Eugene.

Oh, how was that.

It was great. It was super fun.

It was always fun.

It's so I mean, you gotta love the Bellhouse. It's like they came to tell you they love you specifically.

It's so nice. So yeah, uh talk. Can we just skip really quick to the fact that you were in the wrestlers?

He did, that's so funny. I was going to make a joke, know that I was going to walk in and go, Okay, I'm ready to answer questions about the wrestler. That's really weird. But I was joking.

But I was, And I've never seen it. I didn't know you were.

I explained your role.

If you've never seen it, then it makes sense he didn't know he.

Gets caught, you get cod masturbating in it to internet porn.

Well, I guess you don't need to see it now.

Yeah, I mean just the detail. I like to chime in with specific details.

We're the celebs at the airport.

I see any well, it's it's every fifteenth person, and then and then it's a guy from c S. I did.

You just think the whole place is just crawling with them? But I guess that's a.

That's pretty much the world. It's only at Southwest.

They don't show you the insurance salesman.

Well, that's the thing about the celebrities is they're just like you and I. They get coffee, so they wear hats, they wear sunglasses.

What so, what are we questions about the wrestler?

Oh?

You know, how did you get that part? And what was it like to work with a wrestler?

The classic questions?

What's your favorite question to answer about the wrestlers?

I don't. I mean, as much as I love being the wrestler, one of the extra good reasons was it gave me something to talk about, like with Morning Zoo guys, right like, like, hey, let's talk about it was in the wrestler.

Oh yeah, because otherwise they're gonna say, where do you get your jokes?

Man? Like? Or do some of your jokes Like a lot of times it is worse. I'd rather talk about where I get my jokes?

Is it just when you're driving in the morning, like, because that's when stuff comes to me? Man, that's my Morning Zoo radio guide.

That was realistic.

But I got the part because I I I know Darren Aronofsky a little bit, and uh I saw it was in a restaurant even by myself, little solo dining. He was having like some sort of meeting at a different table, and he walked by me and he said, uh, I might say I might have something for you.

Wow, that's an exciting me.

Yea it was. And then then I didn't hear from him for a while, right, And I was trying to decide whether I should be like we were you joking? Like sentim like? Then I just I waited a bit, and then I was like, hey, I don't know if you were serious, yes, but if you were, maybe you could get in touch with me. So I don't have to think about this anymore.

Can you seriously send him that email?

Well? I mean yeah, I mean I knew him, so I was it was not him. I don't even remember how I know him. He used to come to comedy shows really cool. Yeah.

I just went to a thing he did at the I think it was the Director's Guild and it was it was about like neuroscience and in his films or something real, really bizarre. But it was super fascinating and he was really uh, he just seemed like super cool.

Yeah, he's cool enough. And actually, up until I ended up moving across the street, from him in New York?

Are you anymore?

No, No, he's got it. He has a nicer place set up than I did. Okay, but I don't live there anymore. In case you really want to get.

Specific, Yeah, i'd love to see some tax.

When do you ask me where you're driving me to do that? Oh?

Yeah, that was driving to where we want to do.

You don't have to divulge that if you want to. I mean, it doesn't make for the best podcasting, but you can text it to me.

Oh do you need it to be a secret or is it a public place?

Well, it's a hotel. I'd rather not.

Sure you have the fans come.

What about the part of town?

It's in the It's in the Hollywood area, West Hollywood area.

I just made the wrong decision.

Did you where? Did you think you?

Just?

No? No, I was just winging where I might be staying.

Yeah, yeah, of course it's Hollywood.

I said, he's definitely staying in the San Fernando Valley somewhere, because.

That's just what you're like to me.

It's weird. Is it weird to be staring at the back of our heads?

No, I liked it.

I never described the situation.

Has anyone ever made this joke where they jump in they go, you know, I don't I changed my mind about the podcast. No, that's a good And then you have to give them the ride.

Yeah, we are contractually obligated to get you to your destiny.

When is this? How often do you do this podcast?

You know how much paperwork there was to be on this once a week, once a week, and it usually drop on Monday. There's no other word for that.

So it's going to drop tomorrow.

Yeah, that's right.

So you're gonna be up all night editing this thing.

That's right, slaving over it.

Maybe why you're editing You could cut out the name of my hotel that I could give you right now.

Well, don't make us edit. But we're saying, is you want to edit?

I have a podcast too. An editing is not something even though I don't do my own editing, it's just something that I'm like typing the email thing. Edit this part out?

And how did you get that podcast? To Darren Aron? You have getting an ice cream cone?

I do dre a podcast recorder.

He's wait, Darrenovski, wait, I've misunderstand.

He said, Clearly you muscled your way into my movie and then moved across the street from me. Can I just give you a podcast before you murder me?

Please? Anything to get you away from me? No?

No, I don't know you. Thank you. We wrote it down to what you.

Know which cabin at the Chateau marm time. I've never stayed there.

Death cap and that's what I come to understand.

What what I like is this wasn't captain. I believe I put a black racing stripe.

On my face on your eyelid?

Okay, good?

Do you guys get ever get tired of doing this kind of podcast where we actually have to go drove to the airport? Is it always the airport?

It's it is, no ways because it's hard to get Karen has a full time high octane? Right? High octane?

Where do you who do you write for?

Care?

I work at the gas station? Seriously, No, my job just ended. But I did have.

Podcast during the week. Yes, okay, this is I find out when you do. We're back in business.

We have to be talking about it for it was a show.

Yahoo's doing a series now the way like Netflix is.

Yeah, I'm on. I was on one other series really, which is on dead beat dead or dead beats?

Or is that the ghost thing with Tyler?

I forgot his last name. I think No, no, no, he's from Uh that I feel terrible that I forgot.

Comedic horror movie some someone and someone saved the world.

Is he a wins?

No, he's not. Okay?

Is it great?

Is he a white check?

Was it he was a nice guy? Oh?

Good?

Uh?

Fun times?

It was he Troy Miller directed?

Oh he's the greatest special effects. Yeah, he knows how to direct something.

It's Troy Miller. Did he do mister show stuff?

Yeah? He did that. He did a Flight of the Concord.

Oh, sure, of course he's great.

Yeah. So what were we talking about?

What are you doing in town? Why are you staying at the Chateau moment?

Because I'm I was in San Francisco and I said, I might as well since I'm on this coast, right, come on trip down. So I'm gonna I'm gonna headline the ice House on Wednesday, which I've never I heard is a really good clue.

You know what? It's It's someplace I always didn't I avoided because it's a long drive. But that's not a reason to have a place. The audience, it feels like you're in another like you're on the road in a really great room, which is rare to have those two.

Yeah, I heard the audiences are just ridiculous.

Yeah, they're so happy and excited. It's a really good room.

Yeah, let's sell that ship out.

But one tip in it.

Doing a Wednesday one tip you got, oh.

One, they like Latino based com you might just go that aim.

I've been doing a Spanish I got a Spanish app on my phone. So if I depending on how many rounds I go by Wednesday.

Just utilize.

I could be like I could be like Eddie is Ard in my life, like showing four different that didn't. Yeah, I think he's like even increased. I think it was first too, was just in French. Now I think he does like three.

Entire comedy shows in other Yeah, that infuriates me.

He must really light the road. There's not enough road and English speak.

Does he know Chinese? Because he could do the Silk Road? You better high five?

That was the close enough to the high thoughts.

Just do it with my mouth? Go ahead, Oh they're high fiving again.

So you don't just do uh, you don't just do airport runs what other like grocery store runs? Yeah?

When when when we can't fit in an airport run, Sometimes I'll drive by myself and ramble. One time I was in Missoula, I podcasted with my dad. Just went to the dump and dropped off a mattress or we'll take comics to and from shows.

Did you wrap the mattress? Is there bed bugs scare at Missoula?

No? No, no, it's because of winter. Bedbugs are non issue that kills everything. That's a great thing about seasons in my opinion.

Bedcast seasons.

Yeah, it's the best bed bugs.

Yeah, they did.

So My theory is, uh.

Is basically your dad may or may not have had bed but but you didn't care enough to wrap them back.

Did you meet my dad Todd when you were in Missulaman?

Feel like I did, But perhaps I did.

Maybe just after I think I did.

I think I did meet them.

When we did that show together in my hometown. I was embarrassed because a lot of and I think.

We've disgusting place that you mentioned it was.

I know you didn't like the the green room was like where.

It was Hilariously it was good for like, oh good if Instagram were back then, I would have really loved for around.

But what was wrong?

It was like the storage closet that if you walk by it, you'd go, oh, they need to clean their storage closet, right right if they had like taco bell wrappers four days ago, it's just then tools. And then I asked for water, and the guys, like one of them like said, well, you're gonna have a part of mine, like the idea, Like they didn't even like you never you never thought that, You've never had that.

Request, thought, I mean, you've done like the show was actually fine, you've done stand up at rock clubs and everything, right, yeah, but I thought you'd like that gritty environment.

It was unreasonable to ask for water into someone just to hand you theirs.

That's a little addict, you know, Like they literally did. I think they may have went and got me a bottle. But I also remember when they paid me at the end of the night. It was those weird amounts, and I was like, what's why is it a weird amount? They're like, oh yeah, towards the end we started cutting deals. Oh right, right, Well I didn't know you could do that.

When are you.

Supposed to ask me before you cut deals, what does that mean? I mean they're like, hey, it's it's a twelve dollars take. Well it's four about an hour in now, so why don't we knock seven dollars off that?

They've only done that a couple of times. Yeah, where I basically I do a show and I bring my own well known headliner with that's kind of what. Yeah, yeah, it's either you or Neil Hamburger. And I said Neil Hamburger and he's holding up a mirror to my art. Yeah, yeah, I'm rue. Yeah, but yeah, they didn't really know what they're doing.

Yeah, that was fine show.

What I don't like, though, is I remember that night. A lot of times, when you're in a place where a lot of your family and friends are at, they think it's there just like it's a competition. So they're being attentive during me and then they're like, oh, we came to and then they kind of talked they quit doing it, but they were talking at the beginning your set, and it was driving me not to say really.

I also remember that was one of those shows where right, like I met someone before the show and then when I met them, they said Goodbye to me at the end of the show, and they it was like they had sixteen bottles of whiskey. Like their behavior was like, I've how did you get this drunk? It talked to you an hour and fifteen minutes ago, and you can't You're like, can't even walk.

It's something frustrating about Montana is it's so inexpensive to drink. If you order a whiskey, it's in a pint glass and it costs four dollars. But if you go to a restaurant, it's azax into the city and the food is.

I remember going to someplace where the margaritas were in pine glasses.

Yes, that's everywhere.

That's not Margerita sounds good right now?

Yeah, Hey, wouldn't it be cool if there's some sort of a Marguerita Ville, like a town. Sorry you said, you know what, I'll just drive.

You know what.

You know what?

So the Wrestler was a pretty amazing experience. Did you go to the Oscars that.

Year running a red Light? Was?

It wasn't nominated for it? It was he was nominated.

Heated.

I did go to the Venice Film Festival in the Toronto Film.

Festival Venice, Italy.

Yes, was it? It was pretty Uh, it was the thing I wrote to them, I go, Can I go to the Venice Film Festival? Well they said no, I mean they know it wasn't inappropriate thing asked. I was like, I was like listed fifth in the credits.

It was you knew nothing about this. I've known you for so long.

I just knew you as a stand up. And it was not a bit. It was like, I mean, it was a section of the movie.

It was a few, it was a recurring and there weren't really a lot of people in the movie. Got I So I asked and they said, well, you know, you have to pay your own way, but you can tag along with us basically, do whatever we do. It'll be part of it. But it was an indie film, so it was not like they're going to buy me a ticket to Gily.

Did they ever look at you and say follow our lead?

No? But I mean I got the full experience of like motorcade to the theater. Press conference where I was sitting there, there's like I got a picture somewhere where. Of course, no one asked me one question, but I sat there on this press conference with Mickey Rourke. But I remember I went to Venice and I got there like a night early, and I just was like, wander around alone and it's just not really fun and I didn't know where to eat, and I'm sure I ate

Book to be a bit of a barfly, right, I don't know.

I mean he was in the movie.

But yeahs which is I guess like hair juice and some alcohol? Oh why, it was a pretty nice little drink. Did you say par juice hair peach? Maybe? I think it's it is peach.

Both times thought it was hair juice.

I did too, and I thought he was joking.

I don't want a sampa that what?

What is?

Is he a strange fellow that Mickey Rourke? He was.

I had no extended conversations with. Yeah, he's just very he's pretty intense, and sure he's not he's not like he's not the most approachable guy.

I Uh, there was a press junket for something for oh for three, some gladiator type movie that he was.

In yeah, iron Man, iron Man two.

No, a gladiator type movie and.

He Gladiators again.

Yes, yeah, okay, it's like rock him sock and he. All I did is talk to him about how I was actually frightened of him, and it got me at first.

He wait, you were talking to him? Yeah, yeah, I missed the beginning.

I think it was a pressed. It was a press junket where you go in these rooms with everyone when you were the press.

Yes, for who.

Fuel TV, a network. I used to work for him, and he was just like, I am frightened of you. I am nervous to be here. I know you are. We're a semi professional boxer, and should I be afraid of you? But he was petting this little dog. Yeah, he had these little dogs, and it made him a lot less intense because he just was having these dogs kiss his mouth.

Yeah. He does have things that make him seem less tough. Like you know, he talks about how he's been in therapy for seventeen years.

Yeah.

Yeah, tough guys don't go to therapy.

No. No, he looks like a murderer, but he's in therapy. He's got his pinky nail painted and he's holding a chihuaba, so.

He's kind of a metrosexual in a way.

Yeah, yeah, that really scary.

One.

Let's talk about La and what I should do while I'm in town.

Okay, Well we rented you those two planes that are flying me.

Yeah, we knew you were a patriotic. Patriotic welcome.

Yeah, set the improv tonight.

Oh, that'll be fun.

What show is it?

I don't know. It's a thirty show.

I think it very well, very well, it might be it's.

Doing at midnight tomorrow. What time do they tape that? I forgot?

So you didn't just come to town to hang out?

Well, I added some Yeah, I mean once, Yeah, I booked some stuff.

Once you told people you were going to come for a visit. They were like, we.

Got to get back the challenge of coming to LA and actually not losing money.

That's great that you're on that midnight though. I mean, yeah, I'd be over the moon.

You must have been on that show.

Right, not yet?

Seriously?

Yeah, I've asked a bunch.

Oh they've asked you, or you've asked that.

I've asked that bunch. Yeah that's bananas, Well thank you.

Why would they not hire.

I'm not. I don't know. I don't know. I've asked enough to where I'm a little embarrassed. I don't have like a manager person that does that dirty crazy. Well, thank you, I'm flaring.

Have you been on it? No, that's crazy as well.

Yeah, it is absolutely crazy. I'm just gonna get on the freeway now.

So you didn't You didn't take the slow the route that everyone else takes from.

The airport though, No, no, I'm doing a roundabout. I have it perfectly timed in my head to where it's exactly an hour long.

Post so you trot. This is actually a slower riding, right, Yeah.

We're not. It's not about getting you there.

No, No, it's about so it's like take it super shuttle.

It is. We have to drop off in.

An hour and a half. Ride will be six hours.

Because we really want to talk about Mickey Rourks.

I remember when I was so excited when I heard about super Shuttle many years ago. Oh, that's great door to door. Yeah, and then I took it a few times. Oh my god.

You didn't know how many doors they're.

Yeah, a few times. You know. It's one of those gambling things where if you're like last personally pick up, and you're like, oh, man.

Right, that's the airport.

I was always the first person they picked up. I was always hungover. It was always like five in the morning, and there would always be a band that would get on and it was living torture.

It was the worst.

Yeah, we're twelve piece Afro.

Yeah, you hold our drums.

We're just gonna play this real quick. There's some steel drums for you.

So you're taking a specifically roundabout way. Is that downtown over there?

Now he's on the freeway?

No, No, this is how one right now? Where totally?

Is this the one I wanted to the ten to the four or five four or five to that ten. I still don't know the geography of Los Angeles that well. It's not been here probably fifty times.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not like New York, where it's a grid that you can easily figure out.

Here The York is the best New York New York New York pizza.

Pigs a pizza, get a good slice anywhere.

I've got good slices all over the world.

Honestly, they're getting some nice, good pizzas here in Los Angeles.

But I do love New York so much.

I was only there for two days, but every time I go there, I want to figure out a way. You've been there a lot too, you can only just recently when I just got back now, although we were only there for forty eight hours for the Eutuene Mormons.

Did they fall you there?

Yes?

Did they put you up? Where'd they put you?

The Hotel Blue?

I stayed there during sandy?

Really Yeah, why did your apartment flood? It got uh too intense?

Well, it was it was I had no electricity and I also had no water, which is worse than having no electricity.

Yeah, right, Uh so then you're dehydrated and it's dark.

Yeah, and there's you know, there's certain bathroom issues.

Have plenty to.

Talk about it.

No, No, that's the other podcast.

Yeah, I was able to go. That's where I stayed there though.

At Blue it's pretty nice.

Those those are great, the what the beds are great, were really comfortable. But last night we got home late and it was like I'd just been going for forty eight hours straight.

Yeah.

I was telling Chris this, and I laid down in my.

Bed and I felt like my head was buzzing, and I felt like there were voices in my head.

Oh, and I was.

Just like, oh, just relax.

You're super tired and you've done nothing for forty eight hours, but talk to people and interact, so just don't worry about it. And then eventually I went to sleep, and then Nick fun who was staying in the same hotel of two floors above me, was like, there's a huge party on your floor last night. I was like, oh, thank god, I thought I was having a psychotic break.

I've had that happened at hotels recently where there's just like loud, awful.

People, Yeah, but weirdly muffled, so I was it was like a distant buzz.

We really were confusing it for voices in your.

Head, not like she was hired, not like anyone telling me to shoot my neighbors.

But it was more of like where rabble sound.

I'm someone that grew up with voices, and they never said anything in English. It was just ambient noises with an emotion attached to them. And now I sound like a crazy person.

Is that the truth?

Yeah? This keeps happening.

Yeah.

You love a slow lan yeah as much as a rainy night.

Chris, did you have put on that cruise we were on.

I love that cruise we were on.

Yeah, nowhere I wrote down, Oh, the comedy cruise.

To the Atlantic Ocean Comedy Festival. Yeah, Karen had to cancel.

Yeah, why did you have to cancel?

Because I got a job writing riding gigs man juggle on them. Yeah, I have no idea what I have it?

Oh?

Okay, did you really share a room with Guy Brown? Or it was out a joke?

I did. No, No, it wasn't it. He's uh he was it was. It ended up being really great.

It's like you could have stayed with me and my girlfriend in North Ka.

Well that would have been I think, and true. I didn't want to prize.

Who's your girlfriend? Tom?

Her name's Olivia.

Say it again?

Say it again? You think I was? You think I made it up on the fly, And now that you're could.

Have tripped down two octaves like her name is?

I get protective of people who are show business.

Do you want to write it down on this piece of paper?

Read her name's Olivia?

His girlfriend was very sweet. I thought she is a very nice person.

There you go and there you go. That's two nice people hanging out. You can't beat that easy on the eyes.

I did a comedic thing where I wasn't looking at the road for a minute. It's it's it's fun for inside the car.

I'm looking that up, so don't worry about Okay.

It's the name of the hotel is the first word there?

Okay? I like that. It was like a rental, but a really easy one.

The name of the hotel is that first word there? For yeah, and I'm applying I'm something of the four seasons?

And what else? Do you have any other plans while you're here.

I'm gonna recorded a couple of episodes of.

My podcast Nice.

Which I have mixed feelings about doing because I don't know if it's just part of me is like I like doing the podcast. This part of it is like, oh, man, I gotta do two hours while I'm in LA But then I might have nothing to do those two hours anyway.

Right, You could go to the beach.

Do you go to the Chili John's ever? That's near where every bed the Chili john.

It's never open. The one in Burbank.

Yeah, that's near where I record.

Oh that's where I live in Burbank.

Chili John's I've driven, but I've lived in Burbank for eleven years. Probably I've never seen it open every day, but you have.

And it's just one of those places you like. You it just feels authentic and you just want to I just want to eat there, and they're nice. I'm hungry now.

Old looking.

How should we drop you off at Chili John's and we have to edit out a good burritos?

The San Francisco Airport, Oh, that's it. That's the best place to get breathe. Sometimes I flied just to get to the.

I don't believe at all.

No, No, that was a. That was a But I have had britoes there. I really have a good mission style. I believe it is the what made Burrito's famous in San Francisco.

It's right by that.

Oh yeah, I wish I knew where that was.

Just tick.

Just take this next, okay, straight.

Up, indeed, I will. I can't believe that. When did you know, Todd that you were going to be in Los Angeles this week?

I don't know a few months ago.

Maybe, Oh, okay, go ahead. I thought it was like super last minute. No, like you called yesterday and said, hey, can I it's maybe six weeks, but little at midnight joint.

Todd, who's your best friend in stand up company? Besides me?

Oh? Besides you? I don't know. I mean my close friends there like are like Louis, but I rarely. I don't see him a whole lot. Sarah, I don't see her a lot. I know. Looks. Listen to me dropping these first names. Cheer, you're on.

A really good friend of mine.

Seal is a tremendously good friend of mine.

Maybe you can ask him about his cheeks, because I would ask him about straight answer about Heidi Klumb, I would ask him about being abusive. U. No, Yeah, he's pushy and chevy, is he?

Yeah? No?

The nanny? Yeah?

Did you see Heidi Clumb on the wait?

Tell TMZ gets all of that's got talent? Are No? I didn't.

Dan Naderman, who's funny dude from New York. Oh, yeah, I remember just told a joke that had the word German in it, So she she's German, so she assumed, oh, he must be insulting German people. Even the contest, even though there was zero it was impossible to say it was offensive.

That's just revealing that she's not proud to be German and.

Then yeah, so that she's like, you managed to offend everyone. Oh and then the other three judges liked him and didn't mention that he was offensive. So so basically she got offended and confused. So mad at her a little bit? Yeah, or you would I expect more from her as far as comedy judgment.

I really was.

You know, she's supposed to be a leader in one of the most qualified supermodels to judge comedy.

Yeah, what if I just came up to her and judge the quality of her bra.

Exactly or whatever she does moisturizer, yeah, or her glriel contract. That made me sound like I'm really.

Yeah, you actually knew all of her sponsors.

I don't even know if she has one. I just assume everyone has one.

That's what I heard that there. I really didn't know that they were always fighting.

Oh you knew her her actual man, Yeah?

Yeah, and they were they were always fighting sometimes got physical.

Really, Yes, this is real major gossips that you're.

Driving I know. That's why I brought it.

Back seriously, like tips at TMZ dot com exactly exactly.

We should get onto that TMZ tour bus and start telling people what they really need to hear.

Just then pull up this elevator footage of them boxing each other. Yeah, a lot of people haven't seen this. I just haven't anymore, right, I don't think so it doesn't that make sense?

Oh what?

Oh? Maybe I'm wrong about that.

I don't know, but I don't know why.

I there's a hotel which just passes two hundred and forty two dollars a week, so one of.

The nice ones on LaBrea.

I know I've noticed that hotel.

The poor I guess. I know that was a little.

Mister four seasons thinks that the people at the Motor Inn aren't good enough.

Wi Fi. It's being remodeled under new management.

Yeah, that sign has been up for six years. Our podcast is called Do You Need a Ride?

I like it. How let's hear the numbers?

Oh how many listeners?

Yeah?

On average between? I mean, yeah, what network?

Is it on? A network?

All Things Comedy?

Is that elemetrical?

It is?

Like him?

Yeah, he's the greatest.

He's a sweet man.

And bil Burr, of course, please don't forget Bill Burr.

I don't like Bilburr. I'm joking.

You know, he's one of your closest comedy friends.

I like Bil Burr, we are friends.

No, he's great.

I've never met him, but I do like the things that come out of his mouth.

You've never met Bill Burr, I've never met him.

I like bilber Who have I not? I've never met your friend Louis.

You've never met Louis?

Never what?

Yeah, Louis is one of my closest friends.

You are you are out of the Louis.

Someone's getting ready for at midnight.

With that answer, for a second, I got to say I thought I was not welcome back at midnight because I didn't really hear a lot when I was inquiring about going back on, and I tweeted at them a few times, and they did. There were no bites, and then they came through because I was like, I got all in my head. I I formulated this whole thing, like you don't think I'm good enough to me on at midnight?

That's so funny because you're.

And then they very well bring in rating. Well.

I think a lot of people want to be on that show. It's really popular, it's really cool.

I think they probably get.

It's a little they don't get barraged by people at fucking my level, which is super stardom.

He jumps. He was being honest and now.

I go all over the map.

He slapped me. He slapped me down with his.

Fame because I've done the exact same things you've been doing. I've mentioned them, I've called.

I can't believe either. That's amazing.

And Bart Coleman was like, hey, you should, are you right to him? Email me sometime? I do, and he says, I haven't forgotten about you. You know that whole song and dance he sings that.

I just like, feel like some of these jobs are that should be like a no brainer. Just like Chris Fairbanks wants to do our game show. It's comedy game show. Why don't we give a slot and then we don't have to fill that slot anymore because we got him, and then we get Karen the other slot me and then you give me another ride.

I actually have.

No interest in being on TV anymore at all, which I reflect in my weight and appearance and the v next shirts to wear.

Yeah, I just don't.

I mean, Karen, you are incredibly photogenic.

No no, no, no, you don't have to do that, thank you, But I just mean in that.

Way of like the there you know, the idea that there it really is.

So wait, what do you saying?

I just said, oh good, we don't have to do that.

But this for a little for a little bit, they this's what's going to be. We had cameras in the car, which just seemed for me it was dangerous. I was just concern because there's a lot of stuff I have to do other than drive, like flex my jewels. Yeah, make sure my because my good side requires me to look out the windows.

So you don't want to have to like you want to go pick some with the air, but you want have to dress up to.

Go pick some, right, and you don't want to camera that close to you. And I of course have my four year divorce sorrow down vest of fad on Wait a second, taking me forever to get off?

Yeah, divorce. Yeah you were married?

Yeah, oh yeah, seriously very briefly.

Yeah it was person Yeah.

We were you married?

I know, yeah, Chris, Chris worked with him, he's a cameraman. I worked with I met him on ellen To less than two years.

Wow. Yeah, how did I not know.

That we're not in each other's lives the way we're supposed to be as best friends.

I should know whether you were married, but I didn't know.

You were in the wrestler Todd. This is why there's podcast.

I didn't say that wasn't worse that you did. That's definitely worse.

It surprised me that, oh, that guy is going to run into his.

You know is and the rest of it everybody and like it was just common.

You got divorced four years ago.

Well we're actually the PaperWorks just going through now.

But yeah, why does it take so long?

We just didn't get nail mail.

Yeah, okay, guys friendly, I'm allowed to ask you questions.

You are allowed, and yes we are. But it's just a weird, sad thing.

It's such a major life change. So I'm slowly adapting. So it's like that kind of thing where like I don't want to be on TV looking like this.

We're feeling like it.

Really I want to podcast about it.

Things are getting really heavy here, man, I handle it.

We're going straight up, Mark Maron. You're eventually wanting we're.

Heading what area we right now?

This is like with Wilshire, mid Wilshire.

Yeah, when you held up the map, I couldn't. I couldn't I don't know because I live I live in a different town. Yes, yes, yep, and so the end spot is there. This is my favorite part of the podcast, where we just it's just like a book by book on tape of Google maps.

Todd, what's your favorite place to go in LA when you come here, separate from performing, like a place or a restaurant.

Or just the Grove? Over and over?

Of course.

The Grove always.

Mostly World Market.

I look at the three stores and I go, whys everyone talk about this place so much? I know I have a Jay Crews everywhere.

It's because the Grove isn't where What people get excited about is that Farmer's Market. They're totally different. They have different parking. It took me a long time. Yeah, you don't park at the Grove and then go to the farmers Market. No, because they don't validate for a different place. It's just in the same square blocks, so you assume they're affiliated. But yeah, the Grove is a snooze fest, scepter and Christmas. Oh yeah there's elves and yeah I.

Did see Bobby Brown there once. What you heard? And go in the Apple store?

Serious?

Yeah I did? Wow, what good celebscidings.

If you guys know Ben Kingsley is a great one.

Did you see? I talk about this movie every time movies come up. Did you see Sexy Beast? But I was going to mention I think that's one of the best movies I've ever seen.

It's amazing.

It's not enough people talk about it.

I haven't. I'm not talking about it because I haven't seen it. I see it.

It might be on Netflix. It's a He's funny in it, right, Oh, it's it's everything. Yeah, he's scary and it's just such a weird movie and like but not weird, like you know, like, oh, this is weird, like just interesting choices they make. Yeah, as a director myself, I really the director.

You've direc you've directed things, right.

Oh my god, I don't theoretically.

Talk about your body of where.

You want to talk about my uber or my cat?

What about your genre?

Come on, that's not that you didn't use that word correctly.

I'm sure I didn't.

I just wanted to say it was killed the conversation.

No I didn't.

We're still talking.

Vehicles that killed the conversation. That's not the rock and roll that we just passed every mentioned. That's why people listen. I swear they like us mentioning things we're passing. Do they messelin avenue?

This is seriously recorded in the car.

Yeah, yeah, that and you can hear they did just.

Add like ambient noise.

See that's my care, that's the that's the truth.

Oh wow, because that picks up a whisker you know out there? Yeah, just because you know the air conditioned. There's the tar pits, yeah, in there.

I mean I've never been here. I've never been to the tar pits. I've never been to Runyon Canyon and everyone.

They're very similar, isn't it.

I believed in the Bible until I went there and then I see that there's actual bones. They are by the devil.

What is that test our faith?

It's the actual tar pets?

Yeah, from whatever the Mesozoic era.

Again I'm using around.

Yeah, but you can go Dinosaur, yeah and see dinosaurs and they're young in fetal position because they died at.

Dinosaur they snuggled up. There's lacma.

Lachma.

Yeah, I'm museum.

We have museums too.

In one goes to them.

Thank you, you're right.

I never have at the La County Museum of Art.

That's right.

And if it's not right, I wouldn't know.

And the corner where Tupac was shot, is it true? Yep, yeah, it is. That is I thought, no, no, it's right here, and no it wasn't. In Vegas.

He was shot in front of the Peterson Car Museums.

Yeah, yeah, are you serious? Yea, yeah, the Automotive Museum or whatever. That was one of the first things. Howard Kramer, He's like, look at that, right, that's what?

Oh seriously, So we're finally after ten go rounds, we're realizing you're actually serious.

Why am I somewhat?

Do?

People just think I'm full ship all day? But now what you've made me? He's no great, He's just he's doing it summer things, shoving that down everyone's stuff.

I worry about him because summer's ending, and he really love summer.

Well, he really loves having a little festival that doesn't include me. We're friends.

Get invited to that Maui festival.

Oh yeah, surf's up. I'd love to. I don't know why I said that. Maui's the best part of Hawaii.

I've never been to Hawaii.

You haven't.

I've never been to Mexico either.

Well, Mexico's gotten a little stabby, but Mali's still beautiful.

Mai Mexico's stabby.

Yeah, I think he was dancing. Don't worry that guy.

Yeah, there was a guy that was extremely Uh.

He was walking, well, he was walking like he was walking towards the wind. I think it was for comedic effect. But if it was because he had some corn some kind of affliction, at least he got a funny one.

Yeah, that's true, because he.

Yeah, I.

Know you put your sunglasses. Oh, it's totally understandable. We've we've thought about it before that maybe getting right after someone's been on an airplane maybe isn't the best time interview.

I think I get so excited about the free ride that the sixty bus saving.

Yeah, exactly, That's how we are, That's how we loop.

People haven't rented a car like my last eight trips here or maybe six trips.

Well you don't need to now with this uber and lift, you just don't need to. What we don't ever want to do again, right, Karen, is take someone to the airport at four am.

Yeah, we're never doing would you do that for.

Well, I think I and Carmel he had a six am flight and so we woke up early in the valley, grabbed him and that we were all just out of it.

Yeah.

We thought it would be funny, like the novelty.

Yeah. Then you then when you're waking up an hour after you went to bed, you're like, hey, maybe this isn't worth it for a podcast episode.

Yeah, I started this, which is.

Totally worth It is the draw, this is what's going to wrestler?

What else? What other?

You're on?

Louis a lot, right? I see you on there quite a bit house right, and you get to just be yourself. You don't even have to bring your own wardrobe.

I do. I know they don't. Yeah, it's pretty easy.

That sounds great.

It's all over for me though?

Why why?

I don't know. It's something I say a lot. It's something I say a lot say. It controls a conversation.

I do the opposite.

Do you guys like to eat in town?

Oh?

Oh, I don't know if I can tackle that one. I live in Venice Beach.

Do you really? What's that place in Venice that has a like begins with a G. It's kind of it's kind of fancy, but not fancy fancy called Roger.

Gek so not the grove.

No, no, it's a restaurant. Oh oh, log is it? Log? I don't know? It was good?

Are you thinking of?

That's with the C. That's a C Venice beach so that's far right?

Yeah it is? Is that where you used to live with Tig yep yep for a number year in different places around Venice? But I stay over there. It's cool, you know, it's twenty degrees cooler a bit. It's so nice at all times. Really, yes, it never heard that it's been one hundred and twelve. Where Karen lives?

And where do you live? Karen?

In Burbank?

What's it like living in Burbank? Because I just associate that with like the price is right or something.

Well as well, you should, it's awesome. It's super quiet. It's like where all the grandmas live. There's hardly any helicopters.

So what you're saying is that a bad place to live. You're trying to justify it by saying it's quiet, that's.

Right, And I feel like it. The more I talk, the more I'll be able to justify it.

So if you just let me, it's like the Park Avenue in New York. Yeah, it's really cool.

The Park Avenue of the.

West Park Avenue would be pretty nice.

Yeah, that's really nice. And bank isn't.

It is nice? It's great in your neighborhood. It seems like I'm just I could be in the Midwest.

Do you have a house? I do? Yeah, you own a house.

Home owner.

You had all those writing jobs grown out. It's right.

I didn't let the podcast stand owning.

Does this make anyone nervous?

Not me? Does it like to own a home?

It's very nerve wracking and there's a lot involved.

Who does your law?

It's a lovely man named Freulen Rodriguez.

Who I don't need to give both names. Why.

He's a great gardener. I love him. And he came with the house like he was just already doing it.

Grandfather did grandfather.

We've gotten people a lot of work just by mentioning them on our podcast.

And my my pool man is named Circus.

You have a pool?

Circus?

His name is Circus.

You have a pool?

Please say his last name is just Burbank anymore?

He doesn't who's that Patten used to live kind of over by Magnolia, but he moved.

He's someone I haven't seen for two years.

Really, yeah, see, I see when I hear that, I go it gives me a perspective on that because I assume you guys just see each other all the time.

It was like that in the nineties.

It was just and us and Ben Kingsley.

We were just hanging always talking about our art.

Is this an adult field trip?

Oh?

We're really close people, different walks of life, tot.

Is there anything you'd like to talk about that we haven't hit yet?

This was I like, this is just very loose. I mean, have we started. This can't be the podcast.

It's my favorite joke that you're here occasionally?

Oh really now that no? I mean it's yeah, what's your favorite coffee spot?

In?

Graffiti on their coffee is so strong, it's like doing narcotics.

Like inhaling actual graffiti. There you go. You didn't like that one, did you care?

You're not going to do that at the Ice House.

I'm going to open a book in my show.

And once again I'd like to remind you of graffiti.

Let's plug the ice House this Wednesday. My European tour is coming up for real. Yes, going to hell Sinky, Stockholm.

Dublin are your way you're gonna do.

And one other place that I've god where else am I going? Oslo?

And you're gonna do it in all the languages of those places, right, I am?

I gonna do it and finish? Yeah, look at my Look at my little hotel here.

Oh it's beautiful.

It's actually really nice.

I hope you've been one of those umbrellas.

I highly recommend this hotel.

See now, someone's going to drive around until they see umbrellas outside of hotel.

See, hey, this looks like a highly recommended hotel. Hey, so I'm guessing.

Okay, well we can stay here and talk for It's.

An interesting choice not to pull into the driveway up the hotel when I've got heavy bags.

And see, that's what I wanted. That's the Todd Barry wanted.

In the You didn't get enough of that?

No, I didn't, Lenny, I didn't assassin it up.

I mean there's I like the nowhere at it exactly an hour?

Not happy with this episode? Was that an hour?

Yeah?

We drove for an hour?

Isn't that amazing? Well, we talked.

I would have clocked that at thirty five forty minutes.

Isn't that funny? Yeah, trying to readjust your that's an indicator.

Of todd how interesting I am?

You having fun? I was having Yeah, that's what happened.

And being a fascinator. It's really what you are, a fascinator. You're a fascinator.

Yeah, I like you're going in the wrong way in the driveway.

Yeah, you know what rules are made, you know what get out followed.

I'm not very appreciate. Is there any Is there any way you close the show out? Or do I just say goodbye?

When the guy says, hey, you're going the wrong way, I roll down the window and I just say no, I'm not like I drive on the other side.

Thanks for the ride, of course. I bet I'm not the first one to say that.

I'll see you.

I'll see you guys, and let me know when this drops, tweet it and uh, I'll do one of my valuable retweets.

It totally will be valuable.

Hey, I follow both of you guys, by the way.

Thanks today, Thanks you number one.

That was fun forgetting was good right. I enjoyed it. I liked it. I liked it. Oh we forgot the That was another episode of Do you need a ride? D y n A r.

Old?

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much.

Baggage you claim and give us time and they turning on and gage.

We want to send you off instead, we want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it. We scared?

Or was it fine?

Now?

Parn Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Cress

M