Ep. 110 - Karen and Chris

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gaye ad we want to send you off INSTI you wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need.

With Karen and Chris.

Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris.

Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgariff.

I always speak first. That's true, you're the man, I don't. I well, that's what I was afraid. I really don't want it to seem that way. If there's ever a point, and just let me know you want to say your name first?

I feel like though we already set the tradition right and now I just like to only say my own name and not really have to worry about what, you know, what one might call the homework of the show right exactly, which is setting the where, the who and the where.

There's a lot of homework that we do before each of these episodes.

Oh my god, just painstaking the protractor out listening.

Oh, I compass, I don't even know how to use it.

I do.

I write some things down, I make a perfect circle around them.

Have ink on my lip and on my cheek because I'm writing so much with an ink pen.

Then you were a child, did you look at the compass as a possible Well, yes, I always thought some bully was going to jab it into my leg, because you hear that story first.

Day of school.

Sure someone's going to stick this in your leg, or a pen, a pencil.

I was always scanning for weapons because my sister and I were constantly physically fighting after school when my mom was at work on the days that my dad worked at the firehouse.

Really like punching and hitting.

Yes, well, it would escalate to that.

It didn't start out that way, but it would go to that because you know, we would have a disagreement.

I hope you've since patched things up.

There's almost no physical hitting anymore at all, right now that results try attack each other with a hair brush and as much.

By the time you're elderly and and sitting in chairs together, you maybe hit each other once a month.

Yeah, her light slaps on the rist.

Of course, my sister and I never I think, because she's six years older and always could take me down. Yeah, and we just got along.

I was like her playmate.

Yeah, she was my sister and I were like a year and a half apart, so she really hated me. Of course from jump I.

Had blue Ice first, classic McDonald's commercial. We all related to.

We all knew that oppressive older sibling that tried to claim physical attributes.

As their own and not yours.

My sister still to this day says she'll be telling a story and she'll say to me, she'll say my dad, and then I'm always like, uh, huh, is it the one that's also my dad?

You fucking lunatic. My sister and I do that all the time, and she's your mom too. Anyway, It's yeah, that's the best.

I think. That's that's a pretty normal.

That's classic.

There was one time we fought. We would fake fight. I would pretend to be David Banner hitchhiking to the next town. She'd throw a pillow which I knew was supposed to be a rock, and then I turned to the Hulk.

You'd say, please don't make me angry with pillows exactly.

She said, to hum the music at the end, and I would walk off as I pretended credits rolled nice. That's what the kind of games of kids without toys play. But one time she did throw a dry flower arrangement in a wicker basket at me.

Because it was nineteen eighty eight.

Yes, there's popery everywhere, popoury and wicker arrangements. And I went downstairs and I had the ability, because of surfaced capillaries back then, to make my nose bleed. And I actually got made my nose bleed and came back up and said, look what you did. Ah, it was dishonest. I've since apologized.

Now, when you say surface capilaries, do you mean harshly picking your own nose?

I was picking my nose in front of the the other students daily and the occasional Uh well, I don't even want to get into that. That's just embarrassing. Sometimes I eat it, eat it. The point is I was a kid, you know, your fifth fourth, fifth grade. I didn't come here to talk about that. That's just my back sweat to admit.

I think you've admitted that the booger eating on this show before. Though.

I was disgusting then and I'm disgusting now. Look, I'm just saying that your nose was your tool.

You pulled it out of me.

You pulled it out of you like a big booger and put it back into me.

But did your sister fall for nosebleed? Or was she like, get out of my room?

Know that she was that privy to my I really did have surfaced capitalate like I would just be sitting there in both nostrils. I was never picking both nostrils. Oh I see, and I had to get a cauterized. Did they like stick acid up in your nostril?

That same thing happened to my friend Holly, but we used to use it as this grade excuse to leave class. So I would be like, could you get a nosebleed? I can't be in here anymore? And then she'd be like, oh God, and I'd be like, I'm gonna go with her, and we just both stand in the bathroom for thirty minutes.

Do you remember how she triggered it? She had to like violently pick her notes right, or did she just hold her breath and shake and then started.

Blading I can't.

I can't remember how she'd trigger it.

Sometimes she would, well she it happened in reality enough time. So she was kind of known as the nosebleed girl. So she just would dramatically throw her head back and put some Kleenex on it and say she was having a nosebleed.

She could just leave the room. Nobody's gonna like check it.

Suppose she was so popular for getting nose she.

Got crowned nosebleed Queen sophomore year. It's oh that red sash I always.

Wanted it kind of dribbles down the front of your dress.

It's natural sash, liquid sauce.

Liquid blood. The only kind of blood really.

Not well, there is powdered blood for movie sets.

Yes, I'm gonna be started about talking about the industry.

Oh no, the scorpion story.

I'm not going to tell everything I'm going to talk about today. I've never said this is going to be a fresh day about it. Just so you know, there's a truck hugging your back bumper and I don't understand why he's being so aggressive.

This is it brings it out because there's somebody trying to leave their spot. So brings it out of everybody.

Well, he's trying to be nice.

Yeah.

I there was a science teacher I had in high school that was great, and I realized how great he was, not like I would say something funny and he'd quiet everyone down and have me repeat it just so everyone could hear the joke, whereas other teachers. I got in trouble, of course, And he had a son who was a sweet boy. But this stead was this was back when you dissect animals and we just had to cut open

The biology teacher.

So I that always that was like if your dad's a football coach and you just can't, you know, throw a spiral.

Do you think, though, that dad beat the sun for being weak? No, because he was so intensely into biology.

I don't. Because one summer I was golfing and I sliced the ball into their house and I didn't know where they lived until I hit their house with a ball and they both came out and they were just smiling and seemed very healthy, and he has the alarm around him. I'm like, oh, that's nice to see.

So yeah, let's go over that really quick, because that's not healthy.

That they were walking around the house and he had his arm around him. Came they emerged from the house already like.

Ing and shoot, I can't remember the Siamese twins' names. You Ang and Chang.

Oh no, these we're a conjoined father and son mentioned that.

Yeah, okay, first, it's natural that they would have their arms around eye.

So imagine being a teacher. You're joined at the hip literally by your son, and then you're doing some all right today, we're gonna see some blood, and then your fainting son is just attached to you.

It's so it's almost like having a parasitic twin as opposed to son, because they're always passing out because it's your job to open up rabbits, right, So it's kind of like son, look how about now out gone?

Never getting used to it.

So that biology Sucher probably had incredibly strong what I'm imagining to be his right leg because that would be the inside.

All his limbs were asymmetrical, right, he had to pull that weight leg popeye arm right side other side, just withering in the wind like his art.

Limbs were like crape paper.

That's right, there were. They were the same as the dead rabbit's limbs, except for less white hair. What a school you went to?

Oh for good times? I think his arm wasn't around him.

I don't know.

Now, Listen, I seem okay, well, if you want to take that surface bullshit and run away back to your golf course, that's fine. I am especially emotional, as I told you moments ago. Before Chris got to my house, I had just finished watching the movie Dunkirk.

Which I had mistaken for the Will Smith haphazard superhero Hancock Handcock.

That different film, not the same, but I cried boat in both.

Yeah, I cried halfway because I'm like, why have I sat.

Through each half of this? Different reasons, different reasons, but Dunkirk.

If you haven't seen Dunkirk and you're listening to this podcast, I one thousand percent recommend it. It's beautiful, it's meaningful. And I was just in a full sob and then I had to get up, and I was like, fuck, I not to take a shower.

I can. You can cry in front of me whenever you want.

I think we're that close.

I agree, and I think I would well. I was, because then I was recapping the movie for Chris. Chris is like, I'd like to see it, and I'm like, anyway, they go out and I just spoiled right in a row, seven in a row.

My dad does that, my sister does that. You kind of see this movie, Here's why.

And then I get the whole storyline through their eyes.

Yeah. No, they describe camera angles.

I just didn't realize because if you watch the Gary Oldman.

Winston Churchill movie that he.

Just tinker tinkers sinkle tickle tickle tickle amos single file Yeah, okay, okay, in.

Tinkle almost single file.

He does this incredible Winston Urchill impression is tinky winky.

And the little Dunkirk explosion is he.

Wait, let's tells.

We are done?

We are done?

Why are we fighting?

I get drinks like you guys. She was kind of yelling, no, I'll go inside.

I'll go inside. Take her biz.

Time to make another stranger cry?

You there?

Who did you make cry? Is it a good story?

It is? I know, I'll tell you later, okay, because you never know?

Did you attach her like a cashier?

I created a boundary. I stated boundaries with a person that comes to a lot of shows that was getting making me feel a little backed against the wall. Oh okay, And in making those boundaries, she got defensive. And then I kind of wouldn't let myself back down. And then I realized I kind of was hurting her feelings. And then I felt bad for what is going on four days now, But it was something I needed to do because things were getting strange.

And okay, got it?

Yeah? Now is there any chance she cried because she had just seen dun Kirk because it is I'm telling you, this movie is fucking sad.

Sometimes people cry and it's I don't. It's okay, I'm okay with crying. Okay, I'm crying when I when we first started talking, she.

Was just man. She didn't walk up sobbing and then confront you about it.

Right right right then. I would have I would have felt detached from it. I'd be like, well, that's your thing.

You know. Uh, I don't watch Hancock. I just watched Hancock.

And when Will Smith decides to be a superhero again, I cry, it's better than Greatest American Hero.

It is.

It's better than Condor Man, the lesser known but first movie I ever saw in a theater Condor Man. Wow, it's a Disney.

Vehicle, shit cartoon or live a live action.

It is exactly like Greatest American Hero. I think it came first though, and then they stole it. People steal they do. And then that Greatest American Hero was, of course a show we all grew up loving.

Loving, So the guy and Condor Man have its like a tight blonde perm.

Yes, he had the same curly blonde hair. Fuck so they are. And he had a sidekick that was similar to see it again because and it was really cool because his Condor themed car that I remember watching it and it would jiggle clearly was made out of like cardboard and stuff. But it was a Disney film. The bad guys were all in these porsches. One had a glass eye. Okay, I think James Bond stole that from this movie. And then he would be driving in a I know, I'm not making this up. It was like

What was his costume? Red?

It was red and orange and most oh.

Norman straight up, yes, the greatest American hero.

There are so many parallels, and they're coming up right now. I'm starting to upset about just identity theft or just someone's ideas. Not identity theft. No one's credit cards were stolen. Idea theft, all.

Those offshore bank accounts in Condor Man's name. Now, is there a way that they could have seen the movie, bought the rights and produced the television show and thought, hey, you know what name sucks, Condor Man.

What if we think of a better name.

Call up Nerd Burflair the guy and he will be a producer. Since Nerd Burflare is just an old Hollywood name, It's a not a real person. It's just one I've created for stories like that.

Got it good?

Anyway that could be the case. I hope they are affiliated.

I hope that there's some connection, because I'm realizing right now Condor Man was ripped off my greatest American hero.

And what a wonderful riginal. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. Yeah, I remember it was on the radio when I was a kid.

That was a hit. They used to like TV show theme songs used to be radio top ten.

Hits, and and if you listen to them, I mean, you know what a big fan I am. And I'm gonna sing it again. Uh trus, Now that's an American I want I want to sing that on you know that he Conan has a ninety one Taurus. I want to sing it from the hood of his car on the show as it rotates all shiny.

And why don't you send that idea too.

We're working on it, Okay, we want.

It to happen. Yeah, make it happen.

Just that they I'll do some Joe, I'll do stand up and then at the end there's a homage here.

Taurus right, And you could also that song.

Is better than most like that. I was just going back to and the Perfect Stranger's theme. All those songs were good. They were radio ready songs.

With a fucking themed Arthur Christopher Cross destroyed in that Christopher Cross, Kenny Loggins. The eighties were all they were were movie themes and TV show There it was.

A Christopher Cross and the fabulous Thunderbirds, which.

With there, Ain't that tough enough?

Wrap it up?

I'll take it. It's all the same song with different directives. Ain't that tough?

Uh?

It taus taus?

Now those it's all the it's all the Thunderbirds and Christopher Cross was. I like his career because he's it's not that he's a homely guy, but he is the most unlikely looking voice to be coming out of that homely face. I said it.

No, it's true. I mean he was sure. They never let anyone see him.

He was a singer songwriter. He wasn't supposed to be a rock. He wasn't like Rick Springfield or whatever.

He was a big guy with a tight perm.

Yes, but his song We're really fucking good.

I love the Arthur's theme in parentheses. Yes, and then I think.

It was Moon in New York City.

Yeah, when you get caught between it, what part.

Is in parentheses?

Because all of those could be What if it's three sets of phrases.

I think the song is called when you Get Caught between the Moon and New York City colon. I know it's crazy, but it's true. Parentheses Arthur's theme, Sammy Colan, not the one by.

That in the other English brackets. The butler dies, Yes.

All sir John Gielgood.

Oh Giles, my father loved. We saw Arthur in the theater and every single fucking thing that geiel Good did. My father bark left and gave me a true appreciation for dry British wit.

Me too, my dad, he said that he's the best part of the movie.

He is the best part of the movie.

I think our dad should hang out.

They absolutely should. Although can your dad here?

Yeah? Yeah, he hears pretty well, okay, because my dad can't hear, so he ends up kind of uh faking that he can hear you and then just talking about what he thinks you're talking about.

Right, Yeah, you know what, I do that too, I really, you know what I really do.

I know.

I went to a lot of There was always a place I stood at Jay's upstairs. Loud punk shows, very loud speakers, not high quality. Wasn't the speakers weren't filtering it was just all trouble and bass. It was just standing back because I was too shy to mosh, and I.

Am deaf from that.

Shy.

When I get in there and little I push a couple of people and then I jump out of them.

Then you'd be Liken Knnykidning kidding.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just dancing. Didn't mean it, but I am deaf from that. I know it's from that or just a or just a gift.

Well, no, I think I'll so Walkman's being from the Walkman generation, which was it was a brand new thing when I was twelve years old that you could put headphones on and listen to music personally.

Fall asleep and listen to it all night while you sleep as it and.

That idea like that was the first thing I ever listened to on a Walkman was diver Down Van Halen diver Down and it was a physical experience. I couldn't believe what was happening to my brain and body.

I loved that. That was like your first tape cassette tape, Steve, when you having my wallet.

Sorry it was Bridget's. I can't remember Bridget's last name from camp, but we listened to it at camp. Oh thank you.

Last name from camp?

What was it? It was old Bridget giel Good from Redwood City.

We went to camp together.

A lot of people don't expect royalty and that city.

That's the refreshing part.

Also, she that was one of those camp stories where she and I fought. The first year. I found her to be a bully and I didn't like her, so I sasked her and we almost got into a fistfight.

And then the next year we were good friends.

You know what? And now let's see, this is the problem, and I want I have some great stories about my big Sky Bible camp, but I think I've told them all. Oh okay, so I could jump on board with camp stories, but my friend I didn't really make any friends. Okay, that's really.

What we're doing, because it was too bibly.

It was. They just day one said you've got to save your parents and make them religious, otherwise they're going to hell. And I was falling asleep hearing. I thought I was getting possessed every night.

I've never been confronted.

By religious people before in that way, and they scared the hell into me.

They really did.

They're crazy and my dad showed up and I was sad and crying, like I just watch Hancock. And we drove a while.

Oh I got a really big one.

I like how they leave a little bit of the I'm supposed to say, no straws. It's okay.

We're not by Starbucks.

Yeah, but I do it by the beach where a straws up as long as it's none in a sea.

Turtles nostril, Oh, bad news.

Oh this one thing.

They have a nostril dispenser here.

It is turtle's nostril. Oh.

I've watched multiple turtle straw nostril videos and they are never.

They never.

I mean they end okay because they end up pulling it out. Cry yeah, and they make little turtle yells.

They go.

Because they can.

They have voices. No, they do.

When it's not until you're pulling something out of their nostril, but they'll go, Yes, Turtles star I'm here to let everyone know turtles have local courts.

This is the best Pixar movie that needs to be.

Made right now.

Say that turtles can sing yeow.

Wow, whip it real good.

I really wish you had gone into I don't know anything from diver down.

I know, I was trying to as I was doing the yeow, I was trying to think of one song and I couldn't, so I wanted to. I said, whip it real good song to the tune of Sultan Peppa's Push It Real good, like a fucking weirdo.

But the yow that's right before Lander second.

Floor yow, that's Aerosmith and Turtles.

It's similar.

So when I live with Tig she it seemed like she had one cassette and it was Aerosmith. Pump oh no, it has to She.

Rocked out to it all the time.

I'm just happy to hear that you were such a van Halen had.

Well back then, you didn't have a choice.

You basically listened to the music that the biggest, the scariest person in the room wanted to listen to. Right, So it was a lot of In my world, it was a lot of ACPC.

That's funny, Stevie Nicks.

That's how I made the transition from the lighthearted stand by Me and Leabamba soundtracks two deep dri dirty rotten imbeciles. Yeah, and all the songs are about coffins and how they're lonely to be in forever.

Yes, DR. I was a really cool bands one year at Camp again Camp Stories.

There was a cool boy from Camp.

I've talked about him before, Christo Hansson, and he was the first punk rocker I met in real life. And he I had like a DRI shirt that I couldn't stop staring at because I was just like, what band would make a shirt like this?

Yeah?

What is which is a side view of a man running like a stick figure man?

But it's chrome right, And yeah they were It's a band.

It's like right where punk rock and metal kind of culminated in those two worlds, and big with the skateboarders, right, and big with the older kids that intimidatingly make you put down your George Michael Faith something from Metal Blade Records.

D R d R. I.

I know I've talked about this, but let's just go ahead and just agree that I'm going to repeat myself that same day, self conscious, I am, I'm in my head about it.

Get out, get out, Get out of my head. Everyone. Uh yeah. I bought George.

Michael Faith and Dri together and my dad looked red in the back and he was like, I want your sex.

I don't know about this, George Michael, but.

That would have been considered devil music was Okay, I'm just saying my parents weren't religious.

They were not religious, No, and I think them no, thanks and thank the Lord for that.

Thank the whoops.

Oh man, did I tell you?

I'm sure I've told you this already that the first time my dad saw a video from on MTV when he walked because we watched from the second MTV started. We watched every minute of it.

I was there, yeah, my older sister, Yeah, you were there for all of it. Killed the Radio Star, all that stuff.

So remember there was a video that was by the band the the and it was I won't be able to remember the song, but the Baton Generation.

No, it was whatever the video was. It was old footage.

It was old like wildlife footage of like elk running through a field. And then someone had done animation on top of the film of sperm.

Oh wow, and you know what I mean.

It was supposed to be like symbolic of biology or whatever. Yeah, and my dad walked in and was like, what the hell is this? And when fucking bersirk and we're like, it's just MTV, Dad.

Are you watching my stag art films.

Which one of you got into art school?

Would you get into my bin of art supplies?

How did you express yourself so cleanly and symbolically? Here?

I love the They're good, they are great. I'm gonna go tonight. Everyone watch yourself some dunkirk and listen to some We all have homework.

Careful of the dunkirk, though I still have the feelings.

I'm ready. I'm ready to cry. I cry all that's cry at the drop of I cry at the sight of a hat.

Thank god that guy didn't have one.

Oh God, there wouldn't.

I would not be dry. Oh this is where remember right where that guy's riding a bike. That's where we sell guy wreck on a bike. That's right.

See who says my memories leaving? Someone did? I can't.

Someone's gossiping about you and it's affecting you in a real way.

No, I think it's just an air infection.

The burning.

Huh, you almost fell. You don't know it, but you almost fell.

You're the ghost of bikers past. I'm not going to make fun of them.

May work because we have bad, bad history of this car driving.

Oh yeah, you know, bike's attacking We've told the story, We've lived the story.

But Steven is here with us. Everybody. Sorry, Stephen, we didn't even introduce you. Stephen.

Ray Morris is here to do sound in the car and Stephen, do you know the story of us getting attacked by a biker?

I don't.

I don't think I heard that episode, but I definitely know that you guys witnessed people spilling out in the past a wide variety of biker incidents, but I don't know. I don't remember that one in particular.

It just I it's kind of my fault.

I get.

I just get blurty, and it was just to make people laugh in the car. One time I heckled a John Early show. I've been big Fanny, isn't I did not, you know, I'm just yelling.

Stuff, right, We're just having out the window.

But this guy did not. And I understand. Now, you know, when you're riding on a bike and someone yelled at anything out the window in a passing car, it's infuriating because it startles you.

Yes, And I'm.

Realizing that right now that is my fault that it got that angry. But he he was on a fixed gear bike, and I said to him. It's like, yeah, yeah, we get it. You're on a fixed gear bike. I can't.

It was very benign.

He got very malignant though, yes, and he had his bike lock and he tried to whack off her shuh.

Yeah.

He whizzed by, tried to hit her side view mirror and then just shot into the intersection and the light was red, as I recall it was cars whizzed by him.

Like.

We almost killed him because he his anger almost killed him. But I brought out the anger, so I almost killed him.

But I would argue that that anger was a bit inappropriate or just a blurty. Now, I get what you're saying, but I think there was something already happening there that was probably a bit on the crazy side.

Dr on his walkman, he was fucking skanking.

He was a he was listening to pie tasters and he's the third wave.

Of scott as hell.

As we all liked it he was.

He was. He scared me.

And then there's other been other bike incidents, as I'm sure.

But you know what, why don't we come to the present. Now We're in gorgeous we are downtown Burbank.

It's beautiful, not a lot of buildings in downtown Burbank.

Now everything's one story.

There's a lot of like vacuum cleaner stores where you're like, how does that stay open?

In this administration?

They're probably mostly drug fronts.

Wouldn't you say, Oh, is.

The current administration not shutting down a lot of these vacuums.

Let's shut this shit down. Clearly these people are against the government.

In my town, we grew up with one store that sold vacuums in and sewing machines. It was Bob's Viking Sewing back. I thought his name was Bob Viking popular as you know, a sewing machine company.

This is Bob's. So Bob's Viking, right, so specific brand.

I would paint his windows every year Santa Claus vacuuming, Santa Clause sewing with some of the alms every year.

I went back.

That's great.

His brother was an activist around town. Hurt his back at some point, and so he.

Was a activist.

He was a backtivist.

He was a good man.

He just cared about you know, the entire health. Yeah, back when it was like, oh that guy was always talking about the environment.

What a lunatic. Yeah, the water slowly rising.

Yes, he knew what he was talking about.

Now and when Santa Claus on Bob's Viking vas and sewing machines, but not not the title you said, but what I remember.

Yeah, did I make him muscular? Yes?

Did you do porn porn anime Santa?

Yes, I did, very Santa. That was having sex with Marge Simpsons.

Marge Simpson, they and Bob Santa.

That is a place for the wrong people to get creative animated.

I tell you, I used to be in a tumbler. It's dominating. There's lots of there's a lot, there's some crazy shit.

I have stumbled into a world because I used to really keep my tumbler is very passionate about it, and it's mostly yeah, go for it. It's mostly don't punk and then sit there. Of course, it's a fucking Jaguar Suv. Of course, you fucking idiots, let's follow them, Jaguar Suv.

Get my bikelock you.

That'd be amazing to take a bike blog in another car and try to hit the mirror off of that Jaguar Suv.

Of course, wouldn't like that it was happening. But more than that, he'd be confused as to why I planned on locking up my car.

Later with a bikelock. It'll never work. I love Tumblr. I think you can find really cool art and photography on there. Sure, but then of course it's seventy percent fucking porn, which I realized that's something I've If you follow certain people, they'll do like amazing pictures of cabins in the fog, right, and then like seven dick pics where you're like, well, okay, I think.

That it's an innocent admit admitting that that that's how you go down your porn wormhole is innocent because I just go straight to the porn place and I.

You know, I'm I'm like it.

But on Tumblr, no, no, I Tumblr is like this unneeded mental man. You can just type in porn dot com basically, is that true?

Yes? And there's a video and.

It's it's just such stuff that every dumb dude like me likes and it's right there, you know, and there's no photography and you have to it has to be sprung upon you through.

Well, I just didn't.

I didn't realize.

You're wholesome, is what I'm saying.

I'm just saying, Yeah, girls don't I don't think we're all as hip to the porn things, but it's so intertwined.

Like it's like people. You can be like I love the I love.

Game of Thrones, sure, and then also choking and it just comes up and you just kind of have to like scroll by and ignore. Anyway.

I can't remember what I'm talking about this.

But usually in that algorithm they just factor in without asking. The Simpsons also, so that Game of Thrones, chokey Simpson porn.

That's I was saying this because this is how I've.

Seen really fucking weird anime that I would have never known people would have wanted to write combinations of things. Animals, their genitalias.

Horses, glistening chrome, horses with big bending larger than a horse's peanuts already is they are big, pretty big. We've all been to a farm. We're a fair of some kind. I will not go to any more affairs because I'm tired of all the dicks.

Oh they line up and they just let him be.

You just take your pick.

And there's a fast talking man there.

It's old.

I wasn't looking.

I don't want to buy one this stick, hang it with you.

It will deep fry for it.

That's what you want. It's the fair.

The fair, oh at the fair in Orange County, which you would think wouldn't be but it is one hundred percent.

Like people come out of the woodwork.

Hell yeah, and they they have deep fried butter. So they take a.

Butter, a pat of butter, a whole a stick. Thank you.

It's a stick.

It's not really a brick.

They deep fry a brick of butter. I think they do other stuff to sweet and it.

Maybe they stick.

I think they put chocolate on it too, But we are talking about eating fried butter. Wait, that's what we're talking about. They got snickers. You can bring them anything and they'll fry it. But you can bring them a blue.

What is the benefit of eating fried but nothing? Well, it's not. It only has negative ramification.

Okay, because that's what I thought wouldn't be super messy and then also kind of like.

It was delicious, Yeah was it?

And it shouldn't have been.

I took a bite of it, and I get I can't if something is that indulgent. They did sweeten it, let's just say it was sugar butter still and then they yet, No, it's like having ten cheesecakes and cheesecake is enough?

Am I right?

Girl? I swear to God, I can't stay away from it.

Don't turn us and do a Kathy cartoon.

That's one of my favorite kids in the Kids in the Hall sketches when they're all the secretaries and they all like they have cheesecake in their drawers.

It's so funny.

Does that hold up?

Though?

I want to watch Kids in the Hall. There was a lot of cross dressing and they they did this.

But they they Dave Folly is one of the most realistic women when he plays women in sketches.

He was.

He's so like when he's somebody's mother and he's just kind of.

Upset, like, he's so real.

There's something there's something to be said for how well his younger face morphed into he just had. You don't know until you put on a wig and some and some eyeliner and stuff. And I'm speaking from experience. My sister used to dress me up and she ranmother's clothes. I think it's normal. When he was alive and watch that's a weird child.

Wait is this a tumblr thing?

Also?

No, this is something that happened to me. My sister.

I was like a doll to her and I liked being played with and I like that her all of her friends paid attention to me, so they dressed me up and makeup, and I had alike. They've fully a face conducive for turning into a woman. That's true, very talented young drag kid, but you know, I just never got into the scene. And I don't think now my face and you know Na Fuley's I think he's got a go tee. It's just can't do it anymore.

Well, and also, yeah, he doesn't have that young.

His car is very farting and I'm not trying to be adolescent.

He it's too late, you are adolescent.

It sounded like this, he wants you to say that you're just falling into It's just so.

Upset that I went full fart sound effect.

Yeah, you did a fart sound effect into the microphone. Well, I was trying to make a great point about Dave.

I know, I'm sorry.

I think I love it. Where I think I was confusing.

They're cross dressing for I think Monty Python. For some reason, I thought that was funny when I was kidd and then I watch it now and I'm like, oh, it isn't at all.

I think it just depends. It's like the mood you're in.

It's well also each person not everyone's good at.

It, right, you know? Yeah?

Yeah, John Cleese, stop doing.

That, John Cleese, you're too tall.

Yes, that's what it is.

He's just so tall. Not that women aren't allowed to be tall. Everybody support the La Sparks. Now we're driving up into the hills.

I forgot they're called the Sparks. It's kind of funny. Oh god, damn it.

But yes, I love kids in the Hall. It's very I went saw them a live show on my birthday once in Austin. Then I was so excited, so good. And now I just probably see them walking down the street and I'd be like, oh those.

Guys, those fucking guys so had it now, Yeah, that's right.

You don't care.

What's what's the last celebrity sighting that you've had that was exciting?

It's funny, everyone's gonna laugh at me. And this car is filled with people.

This car is filled with beetles.

I don't know why, but the kind of beatles.

That you know they laugh from the click.

Yeah, you'd find on a casket. I no b I used to interview people and he would not get I'd get starstruck by skateboarders, which a lot of people might not understand, but.

I look up to them.

They're very talented.

Yeah. But there was one time I interviewed.

Our Sineo Hall and for some reason, I got really nervous, and because he was so nice and he was amazing and gracious, and he kept like hugging me and being I don't know, he just was. I was like, Wow, this is and I got I guess the point is he just made me nervous.

In general, Well, he's a true celebrity.

His talk show was groundbreaking and he was really fucking hilarious in coming to America. He was so good that movie.

And Hollywood Shuffler.

But I think that's what's you know that?

I think that's Robert Townsend.

What's well, there's a movie where he is VHS tape flies out of a VCR and hits him in the face. Yeah, I think he's just in a great scene.

Or what's the gangster one where there's gatling guns and is it the movie Life?

Oh man, No, that's Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy.

Oh god, anyway, he's great. He's great.

And his hands we're just as big as they seemed on TV back in the day. Now it's got long fingers.

We're gonna switch to mine now, sure, of course, because we can't just keep going on and on about our simew Hall.

He his voice alone.

Yes, his eyes and his long face like a horse.

I was gonna say mine is, but now also now I'm getting in se Gearby's. I'm positive I've told you the story on the show is the time I saw Colin Ferrell at the Arc Light.

I tell you about that.

No, okay, so we because I yeah, because you would have remembered, yes, because he's amazing. So we're standing at the you know, concession stand. And I'm really good at spotting celebrities because they dress like fucking idiots, and they dress unlike any other normal person, and they pretend they're being normal, so they cannot blend in. So like one time I spotted Giovanni Rabisi coming into a Starbucks because he was wearing white pants and a white shirt like

Yeah, don't dress like the professor.

Yes, stop trying to like, yeah.

That's the only white on white I can think of it.

There's a couple of white online. So it's house painters, it's people that take you to the mental hospital. There's so many. But orderly is exactly you think you disorderly. Great film, Oh god, boys, such good actors.

But so Farrell rolls up to the concession area.

I spot him from one hundred paces because he is wearing cow He's wearing combat boots, really tight jeans, a scarf with a tank top, and then a long woman's seemingly to me woman esques sweater, almost like he had put on some of his girlfriend's clothes to roll out of the house.

And then he had like headbands in his hair, so like a Mickey Rourke type.

Yes, yeah, but he's insanely attractive, of course, and then like real owlish, like nerd glasses, like he was trying to do a lot of things at one time.

I'm successorying up, yes.

And he's he's like, I'm a sexy girl, I'm a smart man, and you're right.

Maybe he thought, well, if I double up on all these all these coup trements, maybe knowing it's going to take away from the fact that I'm calling Ferrell, maybe this scarf will make me unrecognizable because everyone knows I have a famous neck.

Here's the thing, though, people in Los Angeles don't wear scarves unless they're on a drama, a drama on NBC, Like, there's no need to wear a scarf unless you have anorexia.

Or you're hiding some track hole.

A tray hole that you shouldn't have a tray hole, or you were in some kind of an emergency situations And I just do you have a pen into your neck?

Because you're that kind of star, right, I mean, but for the most part, and the average person so.

Famous that you need emergency surgery, like from an episode of.

Mash Yes, where you just need it. Does anyone have a big pen? Oh this fucking guy again?

Video d Or is he just super famous when he I think I don't know what he had been in before that Western where I got stung on the knee. Told that that would come out.

All the time I've been sitting next to Colin Ferrell. But wait, he was in that movie.

He was in that movie.

Okay, you've told that story I'm so four times, and you've never mentioned that Colin Farrell was the star.

And we were on our first name basis. He'd say hi. He was trying to get me to say things so my pay rate would be. He's like, they said, okay, we need a cowboy to go up and talk to one of the brothel prostitutes. And he was like, do it. Go say you want to be that guy? And I'm like, I don't want to be like outwardly He's like, that's how you get speaking. Well, that's how you get in a union.

He was, is that true?

Yeah, Well, you buried the lead on this story for four years.

Sorry, I just I think I just got caught up in Scott Kahn. You know, I'm such a fan of James Kahn. And there's his kid, you know.

Con And I've hated this story for so long.

Now it's my favorite.

Colin Farrell was there. He was so nice. He slept with every woman that was there.

Good.

I wouldn't we all should.

And at the end was on a friend. He just hugged them all by and there was no hard feelings. He's giving every woman there generous lover and no, you know, I hope he can be friends. What he's irish?

I don't know.

I can't remember the way her.

But he did talk a lot.

I just don't remember the voice.

He like this right, He's like he's in a hurry, and he swears a lot.

And there was the same way he threw a bottle against the wall in this bar interaction and the glass hit me and I'm like, well, I'm going to be on camera for sure. I was right next to him.

And then they cut that scene out.

What was there?

It's called American Outlaws and it's a long time Kathy Bates was in it. You know, Timothy Dalton.

Did you think he slept with Kathy Bates?

He slept with just like the hair and makeup department, wardrobe people, a lot of the extras.

Kind of he was being a bit typically.

The entire stunt crew.

He wasn't being creative about his love two or three of the horses.

It wasn't about intellectualism or talent.

No, no, necessarily that guy, he's just it's like a radar, a compass. I don't know, he's just always pointing north and he is aroused.

You're in the way.

You're getting made love to, you know why, mutually and enjoy it.

Here's a tip for all the boys. Yes, look at Colin Ferrell's eyebrows. He always has them raised up like a little teepee meeting together at the at the center of his head.

Should I do that?

Yes, for sure?

Wrinkle no, No, it's fine. Don't be concerned about that.

I bet he has a lot of wrinkles on his forehead that you haven't known.

It's a concern.

It's a kindness, a concern, a lightness of Oh I'm thinking, and I'm also I care.

I'm riddled with concern. You think I don't care. Get those eyebrows up, then if that's you know that, I walk away.

I'm worried about everyone.

No because you because no, your eyebrows are too flat, liney? Get him up there?

Do you think they're not? He had them really thick. I feel like should I die?

Get implants?

Yeah, okay, hmm, because I do mine or wispy there's missing patches. One time did a vanilla ice stripe thing and an eyebrow and they.

Never You have to get eyebrow tattoos like a seventy year old woman.

I'm not afraid.

I've saved a little money.

I've been waiting, Okay, I spend it on something.

I mean, that's I feel like that's a lot of guys don't understand women seducing a lot of women.

It's not about like alpha dominance.

It's about eyebrows.

It's about showing like intense facial weakness and then coming through with the red hot love making later on.

Oh see, that's I.

Mean, that's a that's a big number two.

It is. Actually I think only he can really handle it, because then he's also you know, he's got a lot of Irish charisma, and he's very sexy.

I got Irish Christmas, Okay, okay, I mean it's I think my sister did the.

Tread me.

I got Christmas.

And said it. It came up on a little bit a little passed Christmas Chrism, and I.

Think there's some English anger and some uh Norwegian shyness.

Nor some Norwegian wood in there. This car is filled with beetles.

Once we get to enjoying ourselves, we just become cigarette Grandma's.

Oh shit, I am mad.

Another one of those camels. I'm gonna go up on the Davenport. I'm gonna sit on the Chesterfield.

My grandmother used to call it a Chesterfield, and I had I didn't know what she was talking about. For the longest time.

I don't know what a Chesterfield is a brand name, just like Davenport.

What it's a hassock? Fuck is that thing? Let's take a look. Let's take a look on the phone.

I think it's a type of foot rest.

Oh, yes, that would make sense.

My I think I might remember my grandma saying, get off the hassock. She didn't say.

Oh, I said, pointed out the light.

Whenever I'm real bad, uh nervous passenger, I just go oh, instead of saying the light edge green, instead.

Of saying, Karen stopped coming, stopped texting and driving. It's a haddock.

That's a that's a fish. There's a hassock, and I'm looking for it.

Now you look for it because I can't text and drive. Okay, hassick. Haddock is a cute little fish. Though, if anybody wants to go fishing or.

Okay, Karen, I was going to say, I had I had to call him.

Cultures of hassocks. It's a round foot wrap.

Oh yeah, it's an anomon. It's basically an atomou Stephen. Let Stephen tell his colin Carol, say.

Colin Carell held the door open for me at the arc light?

What was it the same day I was there?

Did he have a scarf on and a headband?

He didn't.

I don't.

I couldn't.

Like he held it and I was so starstruck that I just I just walked by him and I didn't pay attention.

I think he was wearing a scarf.

Though.

Wow.

I wonder if we're all there at this day, did you say thank you?

Or what? What?

Did? What happened?

I don't recognize celebrities till after I've walked.

Away and I'm like, wait a minute, who is that?

And then yeah, this control because he had that that voice that you that that quiet, concerned voice.

Yes, go through the door already what it was, Well, that's pretty good, thank you.

You gotta go. I'm telling you my mom, I get a line. You gotta get speaking roll.

I don't know, no, I do start tripp but the plane is, yeah, there you do. I do notice after like the other day at Walgreens, I was in the wine.

Well, that's my pharmacy. It's nearest by. Yeah, you have to go somewhere else.

Really, what do they do they.

Nostrils?

Yes, and I told you this, you know they do.

There was something or a pharmacist wouldn't let a woman get her birth control, and then Walgreen stood by the pharmacist. It's just a touch of the bleed of The Handmaid's Tale, where you're like, hey, guess what, fuck you Walgreen.

I've been watching handmaid Stale. It's scary. No, I know what everyone's talking about.

Yeah, it's horrifying.

Yeah.

Where they had she had to get a note from the husband to and they said, well, we're in a relationship, and they're like, not a legitimate one because there are two women.

I don't know.

It was very I'm combining two things. The point is I saw Harvey Levin. I didn't realize it was him. Who's that He said, there's a register over there, no one knows, but it's by the photography of people. You don't have to stand in this line. I'm like, oh, thanks, little guy. And then, uh, who's Harvey Levin? He's the lawyer from TMZ that's its real Come on, well he's a guy. He's a guy, and he was like, he didn't have to go, Hey, there's a register open over there.

And yeah, he's destroyed so many lives and he's really trying to make it up. And at fucking Walgreen he.

Is really, I mean, he is annoying. Do you remember when they had like a handsome surfer guy though on there that yeah, I don't know, Yeah, I guess it was Jennifer Anston outside of Trader Goes.

I gotta go paddle out now there.

I met that guy at some TMZ part that someone worked there, and I went to a function and whatever.

They were all there and I didn't know who.

They were, but he was the coolest, nicest dude ever. And I expected him to be a dumb dumb no. And I am judgment all the handsome people.

Well, I think those guys on TMZ because my friend Rick Mitchell used to work on TMZ for years and was on camera talent and he's a hilarious stand up comic who took that job when that thing started. I don't think understood the depth and breadth and kind of was like, well then after a while, you have a good job, you're on TV, you know what I mean, like you're making this decision?

Sure, you know.

I think I think those guys took the hit for basically just trying to keep a job in Hollywood that was Harvey Leven was responsible for. When it's like it's you never hear people talking massive shit about Harvey Leven.

Yeah, yeah, or they Yeah, I know some nice people that are Papa Razzo's what do you call the sure yeah photographers.

Italian photographers, yes.

From Italy that are never Italian.

Yeah.

I never get mad at the people on the show though, Okay, guy, am I making this up? Or did he used to do they post interviews on people's court. No, would be like, well we saw today what do you feel about the judgment.

That's Dougluellens.

He was the first Doug Luellen, Rusty, the bailiff walkner.

That's the old school.

Oh gotch school was Harvey Levin. Maybe God, I mean maybe I think that's where he got to start. Okay, that was his Byron. Now and like I do interviews for movies.

Bam, I'm a lawyer and I could be making plenty of money doing that, but instead I'm gonna come to this TV set built like a courtroom.

I'm right, Stephen just handed me this.

He did just just discord after impressing a crew member with his legal analysis.

Oh that was ninety seven.

So he was just hanging out at the studio trying to impress crew members with legal anoogs.

Later created Celebrity Justice.

Oh what's that?

I don't know, but from O two to five it was sweeping the nation.

I wish there was Celebrity Justice. Then we'd have many more films with and Ferrell.

I really didn't know how you in lovely. It's really an eyebrow thing. Huh.

Well.

I have to say I love calling Farrell because he's an Irish guy.

I like his style.

I like the feel of him. I like the concept of him. I like that he's like a ladies man.

He's unapologetic and he's just kind of having a good time. I think that's as it should be. But the one I truly deeply love is Killian Murphy, who is yeah, yeah, peaky binders.

Well, yeah, you can't. There's nothing I can do to just make my eyes a swimmable blue A bit no.

No, And unless you get cheek implants, you just no one can touch Killy and Murphy.

It's the crazy.

He is the craziest face, and then on top of that he has a woman's face, and then he is one of the most powerful seeming men in terms of just self possession and being fucking rad.

And at somehow at one hundred and eighteen.

Pounds, Yes, I just emaciated.

I would have to not only get the I'd have to suck out the middle of my cheek and put him up.

God, I have a lot of plastic surgery to do. Yeah, you really, you should get on it pretty soon.

The eyebrow thing, at least is affordable. You'll be seeing that next episode.

Do you need to run? Yeah, don't. Killy Murphy's more of the.

It's more of just a behavioral standard as opposed to a beauty standard, because I think his I just like to look at him and go, what do your parents look like?

It doesn't make sense right.

The same thing was with the call when we were on that call him call. Yeah, sure, I really think that was his first I bet any credit prior to American outlaws. It's Irish films. I think he was very young.

Should I just keep driving towards this fire truck?

But yeah, we're heading right at it.

It's on my side of the street.

He's on the wrong side of the street. Yeah, I mean, I know that they're heroes, but come on, but it's.

Been a while since not a lot, you know Tucket in whoa, whoa, Wait, hold on pause that Oh they're just all using an ATM.

Hey, you guys the Glendale Fire Department representing Wait are we watching?

Are they pretending to be firemen and they're robbing that bank?

Or are they about to? Are they breaking in so they can strip in there?

You can act as Calumn with those mustaches as you want, but I know what you boys are doing.

There's a lot of mustaches and there's a lot of hands on hips over there. Hi, guys there, what's so? What is exactly going on?

Because that's they are breaking in the.

Buildings for lease. There's no need for them to go in there. They have a tool.

Yes, this is they heard there's money left over from back when it was a US bank.

They got their tools. That was a heist. Just what that was a hot fucking heist? Well, well, I don't have to rewatch heat.

As I do yearly.

A child on a bike alone.

I don't like the family.

Okay, I mean she's with her brother, but oh, there they are. It's a family. Okay, I really don't like that.

Call.

No need to call anyone, don't call.

Wait a second, Stephen, did you say what your celebrity sighting was?

Sorry, celebrity sighting like a recent genuinely exciting one other than Colin.

Farrell, them other than Parreell six years.

Ago when we had the same one on the same day.

I'm trying to think.

I can't wait.

Well, you think I'm in the same mind because in honor of Dunkirk, yes, and my my overt weeping about the Boys of.

Dunkirk, I'm totally comfortable with the Ukraine. If you want to cry around me all the time.

But myhead.

Okay, So one time more when you just find out you're into it, like weirdly into crying, be awful. One time, U, when I worked very briefly and against my will at the J. Gordon Show, I was sitting in the studio watching rehearsal and I heard somebody walk up and felt them standing behind me, and I was just kind of sitting there and then I turned and looked and it was Harry Styles. And so he looked down at me and said hi, and I said hi, how are you?

He's a baby child, He's just a child baby.

He's a little baby, nineteen year old or something. He had long hair, and he looked tired, and I just was like, that was very sweet, and I'm sure he's so tired of being screamed at, yeah, everywhere he goes. And I, of course am the middle aged lady who was like, I couldn't care about you if I tried all day long, but God bless you for being chill.

And now you love him because he was in Well, now that I stay.

Hunger heat may be the ultimate sacrificing. Nobody cared, and it's okay. Crying more, cheers more, you cry, you cry?

You know that's something on tumbler. People look up crying on tumbler for sexual pleasure.

Yeah, porn.

Just lightly.

Now you know what that is a thing? Is it mascer?

No?

Is it people like running masscarre because that means the tears are from hardcore sex.

No, I've seen it.

I've seen it. I've specifically gone to it. I'm not going to say I stumbled on it. I have seeked it out and I've found it out. But from the porn dot com.

Is that there's no website called porn tuncle some thing like that. I mean, those people are making a billion dollars. Who ever thought to register that website is a genius. But then if you are looking at running Maskerra, then isn't part of your part of your deal then that you like that somebody doesn't like the sex they're having, And isn't that an issue?

I think it is.

I think you're right, although that it's bad. It's definitely bad. It's like I'm a dominating I'm mad, and I don't want to get totally explain it because I think it will make me too graphic.

Okay, but we're already in this world, but we're in it. We might as well start talking.

About the reason the tears. The reason that is the gagging or the tears are being triggered by gagging reflex and oh oh yeah with the the but it's aggressive to the point where it's like you're having trouble breathing. Hu yah, and that makes me feel good about myself.

But you cry those tears well.

And also I'm assuming incorrect that the women engaging in that don't enjoy it, which many do.

That's it's voluntary and enjoyed.

So that's my old fashioned nineteen thirties Catholicism that says anyone's a victim when actually that's That's another thing I've learned on tumblrs.

People like all kinds of things. Yeah, being a victim is something some people enjoy. That's part of their that's part of it.

Come straight from the nineteen fifties and missionary eye contact hole and I sheet you change in the room, keep them above the mantle, follow his eyes, you know.

What you like. It's the perfect example is did you see The Shape of Water, the movie about the girl that fucks the lizen?

You know, and it could have gone it really was riding a line where of ridiculousness.

But I did like it.

It was good.

I mean, Garima, that guy knows what he's doing.

But I think it's because I like him and I imagine him making it. If it was just some Yahoo making a weird fish porn.

No, No, he's clearly a passionate filmmaker.

It's filled with passion and he loves this project.

But do you remember the scene where Michael what's his name is having sex with his wife and it's very strangely graphic?

Oh, Shannon, Yes, yeah, it's kind of It's real weird, isn't that.

It reminded me of that that where it's kind of fifties traditional and yet at the same time seemingly borderline violent and odd, right where you're supposed to watch that and then go, I think there's something wrong with that guy.

I think that when I think I watched Light at Night. Oh, the first movie I ever saw what sex was like clockwork Orange.

We had that when I was a kid, and that's not good.

But yes, I think it permanently damaged.

It did for sure my dream.

You almost mentioned the lighthearted aggressiveness of the post Postmanoi's Rings twice.

No, but that you know, that's Jess claying that. Yeah.

I I was exposed to the wrong things as a child.

I think we all were. That's the problem with cable television. But no now, but kids now they just go straight to porn dot com. The first thing, I bet you know. They sign up for it right after they they entered sixth grade.

Yeah, give it to you with your Social Security card.

Here's your here's your free membership to porn dot org. So horrifying it is.

Yeah, I'm just saying I think kid's see we're stuff now.

Actually for sure.

Yeah.

Then Summer Lovers, the movie where Peter Gallagher and Daryl Hannah go to Greece.

Were there, yes?

Or the Summer of sixty nine where.

The boy in the forties sixty nine, Yes, yes.

And he goes to by condoms.

It was so risky.

Same with Porky's Yes, where they step their expose their eyes through a giant hole that they it was so lighthearted porkys that they were just peeping through a glory hole.

That's right, they were. There was so much peeping tom action in.

A lot of those camp movies are like, how do I get some free views of naked boobs?

That's right, which actually is usually the first sign of someone who's going to go on to become a rapist murderer, right, or.

Win a ski race, or when the dad ski lunch back, you're for him.

Sometimes just seeing some girls shower will make you kill it.

On dead Man's Curve, I feel like this is the most graphics actually we've ever been on Disney to Ride.

I think a lot of people are maybe horrified, horrify, or it's deliberating for them.

Maybe we're all being liberated this summer of sixty nine. I did.

I think that I did feel a little nervous when I was graphically explaining why the mascara and the tears, that's the whole situation.

I want go back to it right, Well, look, but it's not your it wasn't your idea.

Slow job.

There I again brought it up again.

Please don't.

Okay, Twitter people, don't. Don't make the title of this episode gaggy blow jopsid please?

Okay, here we go. There's my Lexus dealership.

Guys.

Hi, there's no they really are. It's all about customer service.

There.

This is what is?

This is?

This vehicle row?

Is vehicle row?

I think it is. It's what the police like to call vehicle row. It's it's the Glendale vehicular area.

Difficult to say, difficult to say, and nonsensical to say.

Well, it doesn't really describe anything.

How are we doing on time, Stephen Arena? Usually I'm looking at the old ones.

And I know you don't have to.

You're so free right now.

You know I can't top gaggy blow jobs. No, no, I think yeah, I think you may have maximize that.

And it's a great conclusionary statement.

Yes it is. You mean, like, uh and and to all a good night gaggy blow job stuff type of thing.

Yeah, of course I'm talking about Christmas. What other holiday could it be?

Everyone has their own personal visions sugar plumps and the way they dance. Find your specific sugar plump at porn dot Com out sponsor, we find the most sexually explicit podcast you've ever heard.

You've heard of other sexually explicit podcasts, but.

Not like this one. Not like this one. Do you need a cord? It's actually not. It's not like you do sex jokes in your act. I certainly don't have the occasional one, yeah, but more of a it's not like a personal story. It's not like you're like fucking.

Silly things that I've thought of that I try and pretend we're me, but everyone knows it isn't me.

The second you give it away, you're like, you know what your parents were, not jerking off the doorway of your bed exactly.

There's no way, exactly, There's no fucking way.

It's impossible. It's a funny thing I thought of. You could watch me do sex jokes for a whole hour and you'd learn nothing about my actual genitals.

That's right, which I think is important.

Like that you keep the veneer, you keep that veil up, because once you let people in all the way to your gaggy blowjob.

Area, they will exploit it.

They will give it it.

There's no reason anyone needs to know about that. I prefer everyone to just think I'm sealed up up front like a Kendle.

That's right. Yeah, I think it's easier to deal with you that way.

Yep. Just keep everything in its proper place there.

I never feel more judged than on stage telling a real sex story.

Well, my thing is, I don't want to hear that when.

I tell that, I feel judgment i tell it anymore. I'm saving it for some sort of a sex storytelling show.

Good because it's not funny.

No, it isn't funny.

Isn't funny.

There's some jokes in it though you make light of it, but it's still a lot to take. It's scary for people to hear because also.

It's happened to a lot of people.

Ruffi's are fucking crazy and creepy.

It was the weirdest feeling I've ever felt. And I don't know if specifically that's what it was or what.

I don't know.

I'd have to take more of it, different types of things.

This might be where you as like a private detective, just start taking tons of drugs to figure out.

To help figure out crimes.

Yeah, they're drug crimes.

And that's how I go into deep cover. That's in the drug sex spring.

Yep. Yeah, just just doing all kinds of horror, tranquilizers, stepping into gate into k holes and fucking g holes, the g through.

K holes and then through the end of the alphabet holes.

There's a whole alphabet holes. I'm going through all of them today.

Oh no, the D hole.

I want your badge on my desk in the morning. You've gone too deep.

You got to get out.

What are you?

What are you just having a summer, Karen?

Are you went to Oh I went to Hawaii. Yes, that was great, it was I didn't realize how bad, very badly. I needed a vacation. Sometimes you think you have depression or you think, like for me, I was starting to be angry about every single thing that happened. So you could be like, Karen, I got you this mocha, and I'd be like, what the fuck did you get me a multi for It was like every single thing. And then you go on vacation and go, oh no, I just have not been on vacation in almost three years.

I didn't know it need it either. I went to Montana and did not worry about anything. I hiked, I did things outside a water, skied, I golfed.

I had no concerns.

I was not.

Oh, I haven't had a series of days where I didn't worry about something in a long time. And then I came home and I was like, well, back to.

The old real life.

Yeah.

Like I was on vacation in.

Montana, waking up every day at eight thirty ready to start my day, and then I come home and I'm like, I'm going.

To lean in bed. That's bad. Don't you think what I felt in Hawaii was the air was so clean.

I just felt like there was the renewal had to do with the fact that this is a very it's a difficult city to live in esthetically, pollution wise, There's just all these things that get you down that you don't even realize. And when you get away, you reset and then you're like you build your strength back up to kind of deal with it and be in it again.

And if you don't do that, you know what I mean?

I mean, like I just lay on the couch and feel defeated.

Right I do. I'm like you.

I am like you, Yes, And I too had a rejuvenating vacation and I'm ready to dive back into the mix.

I'm ready to kick and punch with.

A new ad I'm ready. I'm going to you're not. You're going to have to pull me away, screaming, okay, great from this show business thing.

Good, good, good, We're going to beat show Businesses asked. Yes, it's good with a bike lock, that's all. I think that's the commitment everyone's looking for from us. Let's shake on it.

Oh.

Also, because we're going to start putting this podcast out more consistently now that we have are a sound man, Steven to help us. Sound man Stevens soundman Stephen in the backseat, which is couldn't be better.

I think you're enjoying yourself, right, Stephen.

Oh, I'm having a blast.

Thanks.

Thanks, he's you know, Stephen's looking at his phone.

He was looking at pictures of another podcast.

He was listening to another podcast. Yes, what does good podcasts sound like? But now that we don't, we have the comfort and freedom of like because it used to be that every podcast we recorded, we weren't sure if it was going to work right, and there were times where it didn't and it was heartbreaking.

It was that lost tag episode, the lost take episode would have won a Pulitzer.

Uh, and we just have to let it go.

Yeah, that's all. It was was a moment. I want to listen to it.

There was a long moment of silence.

There was some ticks here there.

We've got to have tick back on. We will, we have it. Here's to a new uh more consistent do you need a right future?

That's right, and we will because things are going to be changing in the immediate future. We'll also have booking help, so then we can have more consistent you know, like getting people on and stuff like that.

That's cool new news for me to hear.

I know.

Hooray.

Yeah, it's going to be very exciting. We're really getting our act together in nineteen.

Yeah, nineteen, it's going to be the year. And so get ready for oh nineteen, motherfuckers. Oh yeah, no, I I I just shocked me at first.

Oh I think actually it's sooner. I think it's eight it's fall of eighteen. Really, oh sweet, Yeah, it's right around the corner.

Well, I'm very excited, and so keep listening, and yeah, give us reviews on the old iTunes.

That's important, right, Yes, people do rate review, subscribe, Yes we don't you know. I I We've talked about this before because I'm so terrible at like cross promoting and all those things. I've always just in my mind kept all my projects separate.

Sure of course. But oh wow, that's an old man in the room.

Oh wow, he.

Really is still in the room. Oh sir, Oh, he's very much, very He was confused. Did he seem confused?

No, no, he just was trying to get over to his left turn lane.

That scared me, yeah, it scared me. And there was another bike interaction.

It's always with the bike.

It's always with these bikes. You think it's going to be a bird scooter and it's just a classic old man on a bike. He was in the middle of the road and he's mumbling bird scooter. The maybe it's a west side thing. It's an app. It's like Uber. You get on a scooter for a dollar. They go fifteen miles an hour. Oh, it's so dangerous.

I didn't know they were called bird scooters.

Bird's the brand. I think they all Yeah, there's just they're all over the place. And there he goes Putt Putton through the intersection. That old guy makes me so nervous. His tires are flat.

He's going toward cars. It looks like he's aiming for cars as he rides his bike. The guy, the guy in the suv behind us, was very upset by that whole old man on the bike thing angry or no, like he got scared and it bothered him, and that he was telling his wife about it.

Oh well, let's let's bond with them, because that's how we felt. What's good people in Glendale.

They're okay people, They're fine.

I really love Glendale people. Do you well, No, you were just going the other direction, so I thought i'd.

Go's smart, which is something we're going to need to start worrying about more. If people are listening to this podcast and I'm being racist against Armenians. You need to be there to dig me out.

Of that hole, right right and me, I mean there's way more holes that I create.

You have to dig me out of the kor Z's all your drug holes. But I'm constantly having to pull you out of. Okay, let's wrap it up.

Yes, So it's good to.

See you again. Expect you too, Christ Expect big things from Do you need.

To write a lot of promises. We're making big promises.

Uh, you know, we're going to get all kinds of ship.

On its feet and really start taking up our space in the car based podcast regime.

You're all going to be sorry.

Oh my god.

We're going to make you, each and every one of you pay for caring about us. Thank you, you've been listening.

Firemen. Oh aar, I need you way back home. Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim.

Give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send you off InStyle. You want to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you ride?

Do you need.

A little little

With Karen and Chriss