Ep. 102 - Karen Picks Up Chris at LAX

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and they Turmano and gay.

We want to send you off in style. Do you wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it? We scared her? Was it fine? Mal porn? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need need to ride?

Ride?

Welcome to Do you need a ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgareth.

You went to Taco Bell instead of Starbucks.

It was just easier. This Starbucks near the airport. You have to get park your car and then get out and go into a hotel, both of them, I believe.

So.

I just wanted to be on call because I knew that you were. You were coming off of a problematic flight. It was I didn't want you to be standing curbside like an orphan.

Oh, I'm it's funny to be.

I don't know that we've ever done it this way where I'm the one, I've learned.

Some things where I'm the one being picked up.

First of all, anyone that we would be picking up probably is not in the best state of mind a podcast. That's what I've found, just because I didn't talk to anyone for flowers, yep, and just now I didn't even I messed up the word taco because I need to talk for a while, because.

Because you need to taco for a while.

I need to taco to people before I start using my burrito Peter, and it is.

This is all peaking. It's oh sorry, it's quite all right.

It's my boisterous, if not obnoxious, drama student.

Last so I think there were that's there. It's a probably it's a flaw with.

Our original, our original original. It's really bizarre. How I need to practice talking?

Did you need Starbucks? What do you need?

I would love it, but let's not do that.

Okay, yeah, we'll get involved.

Yeah yeah, I yeah.

It was a it was a just a flight that kept getting delayed and they'd never ever reasoned, and people want answers. They they yell things like this is ridiculous or this is unbelievable, and I find it to.

Be always believable. It so believable, hardly ever ridiculous.

I always feel like I'm getting away with something when there's nothing wrong with my flight.

Right exactly.

It's half the time, and I never check a bag, and of course they had lost my only my bag. Everyone left and it was only me. And then if it's just you, they're like, well, it's something you did. Yeah, And they said what does it look like? And I said, well, it's a dark gray, kind of shiny Duffel bag.

Samson ight, it's the name on it. And then they.

Proceeded to check flowery purple roller bags and I'm like, well, that's not the bag I just described, but it and then somehow it just ended up tumbling out at the end and the turnstile started again just for my bag. So I don't know, Wow, it's not interesting at all.

It was I bet it was. It was cozy behind a flowery roller bag.

It was hiding behind someone that was on vacation by someone. I mean a bag, a fun a fun bag.

A bag that's also a person in our cartoon world.

Oh, I would love to see a bag with just some blinking cartoon eyes, just with my real eyes for once, just an nanimate object.

And then it flips over forward onto its own eyes and is blinded.

I had a great trip. I sure want to get these dirty socks out.

Of me going.

I was in Phoenix, Arizona.

Arizona for the All Things Comedy podcast and comedy festival, and the clubs there, one of them seats seven hundred people, I think stand up live, and then the improv their seats over four hundred. And all my shows were there and they were so fun.

And I like doing stand up a lot.

Again, you should because you're good at stand up comedy.

Well, thank you.

I have not been to doing it, and I've felt like that's not what I do anymore. Like if I take a couple of weeks off just because I don't have anything booked, at the end of those couple of weeks, I have no identity and I don't know what I'm doing, yes, because I've just been drawing pictures, and I'm like, well, I guess I'm a guy that draws pictures.

And then when you get on stage, there's no rhythm. You don't even know how to talk funny anymore. It's like you try to get these ideas on their feet and it sounds like you've never done stand.

Up yeah, or and this is what happened this time, Or I'm on stage and it feels new and exciting again, and I'm nervous, and I resort to my old stumbling frenetic improvised my back as against the wall and I'm having a breakdown and hopefully it's funny way, which is what I did this time, and it was very fun.

It turned out to be funny, right.

Yeah, it was also I felt like I haven't done that improv since I got in trouble there ten years ago for meddling with the staff like a Russian vote counter. I just was they were fun and they wanted to hang out. And then I showed up and the owner, I think he's passed away, but he was like, I heard you.

Went to six shooters with my staff.

I was in trouble for being invited and going with people that worked at a comedy club to a bar that was across the parking lot.

Yeah, that's not how comedy clubs work. No where was that man from the rectory, the priest's rectory, the local Catholic church.

Well, I know that he was religious enough to be in the program of Twelve Steps, which I was invited to just for ordering a drink. They also said back then that there was a law that no performer could have an alcoholic beverage honor before the show, and I was like, oh, okay, I didn't that must be an Arizona law.

And the people that work at the club now said, well that it's not true at all. Yeah, here's your free drinks.

There's no I've never heard of a club doing any of these fucking things, right.

There just used to be this looming thing there that you will get in trouble for something. And I kind of my nervousness was based in me feeling like I was that person ten years ago opening for Sarah Silver.

But well, it must be nice now that you know that era has ended. Yes, truly, those people are gone.

And this club was so fun. The Tempion prop is so great, and so.

Were they like showcase shows like eight People shows.

And it was mostly a lot of the comics that have podcasts at all Things comedy are like comedy store guys. Like it's a lot of comics that I don't see very often that I'm not on shows with, right, And it was.

Really fun to do these shows with sold out crowds with these guys don't get to do shows with it was really fun.

Yeah that's great.

Yeah, I loved it. I had a fun trip.

Well, I'm glad.

And then I lost my bag and rowin everything. It didn't though it didn't it didn't.

I'm fine now.

Because it wasn't lost. All is not lost. Wait, it's really First of all, welcome back to Los Angeles.

Thank you.

We brought in some fog for you.

It's kind of cold even it's.

Like a little winterry October evening with a very thick marine layer. Ended up this four or five right now, And this is a loaner car.

I thought it wasn't your car.

It's not because it's the same exact car. Oddly, they had my exact car, except for a different interior. Because I took my car, and because it's I thought something's wrong with the brakes because it's a new car. So every sound it makes, I'm like, oh, I got a bad one, and I get really upset. And so I took it in and nothing's wrong with it at all. But then I said, hey, do you tint windows? And they were like sure, so I'm getting all my windows didn't. Oh that's great, So I still have the loaner.

That's terrific. You know what I did as I looked down at the steering wheel and it seemed like it had aged.

More, oh yeah than in your car. Oh right, Yeah this must be a little older.

Yeah this your car is a little fancier, isn't it?

Thank you? I would like to think so it's a yeah, it's classier. It's just it's just more regal, which is what I need in my interior vehicle interiors. Regalness, a regality, thank you. I need to be regaled with leather stitching.

And yeah, I feel like it's different color too. Anyway, it's this is also a beautiful car.

I mean, the whole Lexus line of daghbreads is really something.

To know what they're doing.

They're just it's a gorgeous, cushy car.

If I talked about how comfortable these seats are not yet are amazing.

Uh. You know what I would think about driving down here is how in Los Angeles you kind of know what somebody does for a living base on their car, because like just certain types of people have certain cars, right and don't have other cars. Like famous people always have a Mercedes that looks like it's a military vehicle, like it looks like it's bulletproof.

Oh, those boxy Mercedes. Yeah, and those people always drive terribly.

They drive terribly. They don't need that much protection. They're not under a threat of child soldiers or rhinocera. It's not the plural of it. And then same with like those tall like a land Rover that looks like it's two stories tall. Right, there's always those who you like, what do you fucking need that for?

It's funny.

My friend bought and it didn't make sense to me until it all came together. He bought like one of those Mercedes sprinter vans that has no windows.

The ones vans drive around it.

Yes, it was all gutted, but it's four wheel drive and big and tall and it and they turned it into this camping vehicle and it's got beds and swiveling chairs in it, and it's got a heater that well, they could like park it in a ski area lot and set the heater to warm it up right before they're done skiing.

It's oh wow, it's pretty.

He also has a cat flap in his house that has a chip reader, so other cats can't come in unless they have an embedded chip. It's the most high tech cat situation I've ever been.

James Bond privy too.

Yes, my friend, uh, ross is is kind of James BONDI that's very cool.

It is cool.

Is he a sponsored snowboarder? Is that why he gets to have a sprinter that's rebuilt.

He used to be Yeah, he used to be a professional snowboarder. Yeah, for K two And that's how I got all my stuff. And I just follow him around for most of my late teens and twenties.

The best yea, the life.

And but no, he does websites and has a cool cool gadgets.

Does we gadget up and listen to his friend Chris's podcast?

I wonder if he does. I always want to ask him. I know some of his friends, do some of his friend's wives.

I'll ask him, yeah, right to his face.

Do you know me? Do you recognize me? Huh? That's funny because if.

You listen to our podcast, you also, I guess, wouldn't recognize You.

Wouldn't recognize the face, but you would recognize the same stories I tell over and over.

This voice that is scolding you, you recognize that, and this was that's from the theater. Oh it was, yeah, I I and Phoenix.

It's interesting.

Phoenix is one of those downtowns where there's no people except homeless folks.

Oh shit, but like our fair Los Angeles, it's so clean.

I don't trust a downtown area like San Antonio was like that, where there's no garbage anywhere.

And what are you looking for in a downtown.

I want some character. I want some urine. I want some rats. I want some more urine. I would like a rapper. I want to know where that Burger's been.

What have you ever been to downtown Santiego, the gas Lamp district.

This looks like this place. Yeah, it's like that too. It's very clean.

Yes, well, but i'd never been there on a Friday night. And we did a show there a couple of weeks ago, and afterwards, I think we ended up walking home and or no we didn't. We were in a car because we ubered home because it was like New Orleans. It was like bikes, bikes that were lit up, playing music with people drunk inside. Like it was like a big, huge party downtown.

Oh wow, yeah, I think I've they really party down there. But there's a lot of I'm scared of a lot of the MMA looking dudes. It just looks like a bunch of professional mixed martial arts fighters there.

Oh in San Diego. Yes, yeah, it'll just kick your ass for no reason. Yeah yeah, Okay for.

Not having Republican parents.

Look, we can't all be so lucky.

Oh, I have those liberal Pinko parents.

Fucking Pinkos. So I'm gonna go this way and get and get down to the beach.

We're going past Tito's Tacos. I love Tito's tacos. You love Tito's too. The only thing better than a Tito's taco is two. And there's always a line yep, spinking of Pinkos. There's a line there, like at Pink's hot Dogs, a line that I don't understand because that is just a diarrhega.

Bullets for a poop gun. That that those tacos. Damn, sorry, you're I think I.

Know what I've Bullets for a poop gun.

They are, it is, it is.

It is very much a going to cause that if you eat there, it tastes good.

But you know what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna rewind you slightly.

Yes, thank you.

Did you make up that Tito's Taco jingle? Or is that something you've heard?

That is their song that they play on television and they are flying tacos in it?

And is this just Venice TV straight something I couldn't see because I don't live there.

It's it's funny.

No, I think they pay good money to advertise on network. Wow, it's a local commercial that I've seen often and I'm not a huge TV watcher.

Like, there's a Sprinter, there's a Mercedes.

Is the van? That is the type of van? It might even be a little smaller, Wow, the one he got.

And so anyone sees it, they just assume it's like a workman. So it's unassuming, like someone might break into a Winnebago or some kind of recreational vehicle.

Not this one.

Yeah, with his they just think it's a bunch of boxes of pamphlets or something.

It looks like a pamphlet van, looks like a plumbers van exactly. It looks like business. Don't even worry about it.

Who would break in just to get some plumbers? Feezis covered branches?

Someone who wants to fill their poop gun with diarrhea? Bullets fresh from the plumbers van.

A bunch of pairs of pants that don't quite fit well in the waist, So you get that signature.

Crack. I yeah, it's Can.

I tell you sorry about when I took my rag when I took my car in to get fixed, as the anecdote I just told you, Oh yes. The man who was helping me was like someone in a sketch playing a character of a guy that works at Alexus dealership. Like he was real smooth, and he kind of looked like somebody you would see at a bluegrass festival on the weekends, Like he had Kenny Rogers feel about him. And he was very low key, and I was I cann't. I was like, are you on edibles? What he was like?

Sure okay?

And when I called him so like, I brought it in at ten a m. Went to work, and then later on in the day I got an email that was like, do you approve all these charges? And I wasn't being charged anything for what I brought it in for, but then there's my charges for my new idea of window tinting, and it said that I didn't approve those charges. So I called him on the phone number on the email and it's it's his direct line and he's like, hellllo.

I know, Karen.

I was just like, oh, so you meant to answer the phone like that, Oh wow, hell lo oh hellllo. It was like he had just gotten off on Friday afternoon, rolled his windows down. It was really hilarious.

Yeah.

That's and we've talked about how our mom's answered phones Hello, okay my mom.

I think my mom would go hell hello, like worried.

Yeah yeah, and my dad I just go hello, and which is what I do now.

And my dad goes hello, And then my friends would go with Careen there, and then I'd get on the phone they go are you in trouble? And I'd be like no, why what are you talking about?

My sister's friends. I remember them being intimidated or scared of my dad's hello Hello, But he wasn't mad.

Now just we say hello, weird, just dad. My family yeah, just kind of shouty, like you're you're just wrapping up yelling at someone to turn off the bathroom light, and then you answer the phone in the same voice.

That's because that's a light ste of electricity. That's why Hello.

Don't slum on the corn door.

Hello.

Yeah, I I People always think that when I it always I've got to change the way because you're supposed to say it like a question like Hello, who.

Could it be? I'm so curious.

I I just say hello and then and then always people stop and they're like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was a joke greeting. Yes, I thought you were going to keep talking.

Because you're saying hello, like the phone call the phone movie from the.

Movie Yeah Hello. Tonight's features are me talking to you right now at a thirty, which is the time right now.

In other words, please say something so we can have a conversation, and then I hang up. I'd like to be very I don't even talk on the phone anymore anyway, I know.

Anyway, it's so sad.

It is sad.

I do have a couple of friends who like talking on the phone.

I talk. Yes, there's some people, Yes, there are some people.

Of course, sisters always talk on the phone.

Yes, you know how they be? And you had did you were you this weekend? Did you go anywhere?

No? No, the last weekend? Was it last week?

You were somewhere?

Yes, last week and I was somewhere. That's when I was in Madison and Minneapolis with our friend Michelle Balloon. She's the best, She's she's number one. We had a real good time. I met her sisters.

Isn't it fun to meet specifically her sister, but just fraternal twin sisters, Martha Kelly's sister. When someone has the same mannerisms and the same face sort of, but Michelle's sisters riddled with tattoos, and it's a punk rock version of Michelle. They couldn't look more different and different. But her is also funny and dry. But it just takes a while, yeah, to find.

Out she's like more subtle. Yeah, wait, Martha Kelly's also a twin.

Yes, and her sister is. She's like a submissive dominatrix. She wrote a book about it. She's like a sex worker. Whoa And Martha has always been you know, people think she might work in a library or something, just the way she carries herself is then so low key talking.

She's super funny.

Yeah, and her they have the same voice, but they're just a little When I first met Martha's sister, I just started laughing at her, like she started talking and she said good to me, you sir, and.

It was some version of Martha, and I couldn't take it. It just made me laugh so hard.

That's so funny. Wow, that's fascinating.

Yeah, I do.

I do enjoy meeting siblings of people I've known for almost a decade and then all of a sudden, there's this new person.

That is a version of them.

Yeah, it doesn't have to be twins, but it helps, just.

Helps to make it make sense.

It helps to make me laugh at their face if they are. But yeah, and I brought I still have all these shirts that we printed. Oh yeah, and they look beautiful and I brought them there, and of course they just didn't seem like there would be a point where I'm hanging out at a table selling them. They didn't have like merch tables. So oh, I flew back with them. But we got to find a way for now.

I could go through all of them. I think I have everything. I don't have double extra largest, but I have extra larges.

I think, Oh, that's good. I feel like all the people that have ever tweeted us and said, please make another episode, you get a T shirt. Yes, but you're gonna have to self regulate because it's not like we've been writing your names down in a book or anything, or as we should have been if we had any manners. But if you are one of those people that has actively complained to us about not recording, we want to reward you for your care.

Yes, are we we're giving them away?

Uh? Oh no, No, you have to give us ninety dollars.

They will be purchasable on a sliding scale according to your income in.

The car you drive, yep.

And also and then you're just your participation in this because for a long time we were doing this podcast and honestly, I think we've thought about thirty people listen to it. Yeah, I thought, And then when we stopped doing it, people really let us.

Know more than thirty, let us know of them?

No, right, unless they were re letting us know, and if they started different Twitter accounts to make us feel like more people cared, which would have been so beautiful. Oh, as I was driving around.

The more bready Stenella's type accounts, you mean, yeah, and there's a baboon heart one.

I think that was from this podcast.

Right, Oh, I don't know, No, I don't that. Maybe Yead has to be the bamboo about my dream.

Bab boon Heart.

Maybe maybe not. I'm not going to pretend that that rings a bell.

I can't really remember either. It was some I don't know.

Maybe it had maybe it was a murder reference.

I don't think so.

Though.

It's hard. The amount of recording of casual conversations that I do of myself these days is egregiously too many, and.

It's it's getting to the point where, like anyone's dad, I know, I repeat myself. I know I say the same thing over the time, all the time, over the time, over the all the time.

I just think, as long as you enjoy the story, you can repeat it.

Right.

My fear, though, is that the story will change because I'm telling a liar's version the second time.

I support all embellishments as long as we're being entertained while the story's happening, it doesn't have to be one hundred percent.

I was taught as a young person that it's okay to lie and it makes this story better.

Isn't that curious?

No, that's I I agree with that one hundred percent. Don't lie like you're the best person or whatever. Don't like don't go crazy with the factual. It's the details that you can embell it, right, Jush him up a little bit. Make it new for me if I've heard it three times, just make it new.

Good. See, that's all I'm doing, right, I'm not lying.

It is not that big of a deal.

We're never driving me to my beach home. We're headed towards the ocean and we can pass, though I'd like to keep talking.

We'll pass my.

Place, Okay, Yeah, no, I want to drive to the ocean. I haven't live I've lived in Los Angeles for twenty five years, perhaps maybe more.

And you'd never go to the beach.

I think I've been there three times, five all together.

Isn't that funny?

I always we would go from Montana all the way down to San Diego to visit my dad's cousins and my great grandma and Coronado, and yeah, it was nice.

You're right to go.

It's fancy.

It's it's fancy there and and they were modest homes, but they're in beautiful place. It's end.

And they never we would want to go to the beach and they're like, oh, we we haven't gone there in years.

They were walking distance from the best beach ever. And I always thought, what a waste. And now I'm one of these people.

No, you do it too.

I do go there, just walked out.

But I thought if I ever lived by the ocean, I'd be swimming in it.

I'd be surfing.

I'd just become Laired Hamilton or his character Lance Burkhart from the movie North.

Shore, and become a waterman. Sure, but I just kind of go there. And then I worry about sharks, and I, uh, I don't surf like I thought I would. I have a wet suit, I have a couple, I have a couple of boards.

Surfing is though, uh, from what I've been told, And of course I've never even come close to doing anything like it, but very physically strenuous, full body workout. Am I wrong about this.

It is the paddling and the getting out past waves is one of the most difficult things without drinking a bunch of water and panicking. One time I went surfing and I got drug by a jet ski and launched into a wave and immediately stood.

Up and was able to surf.

It is the standing out their stationery, waiting for a late wave, being able to catch it while on your belly and standing up and all of that. Just getting to that point, just getting out to be in the right spot without a wave just covering you and beating you up and making you almost drownd. I've never gotten good at that, and I've gone surfing maybe fifty times.

God, it's very difficult. Good for you though, yeah, I'll do it eventually.

I would imagine it's low impact. But also all those like the negative ions are good for you. The sea salt, the salt water being in nature is good for you.

The phosphorus inside of a jellyfish, that's that's always bad for you. That's actually that was a trick.

Yeah, no, that's about Please don't eat jellyfish out of the water, but just freehand.

Let a professional filet.

At first look at this exciting the other. The other thing is I find it exciting to be down here with all the people look.

At Yeah, this is this is my this is my hango, that's Hanano's. That's a bar. I go tomorrow, then I probably should or want people to know.

Look, wait, should I go right here down the street? Yeah, because I've made a terrible mistake going down here.

I believe that our only choice now is to pay for parking in that lot.

No fucking way.

So we're going to turn right here, Okay, great and go past this guy that has a giant staff that lights up and he has his shirt off, so it's some sort of wizard.

Hello sir, oh, hello kind of man.

He does seem kind in the face, and he heard everything we're saying.

He also looked like some He looked like someone that didn't belong here, just like me.

Yeah, he had kind of a lost puppy dog look in his eyes.

I love that look.

I like her all white. Look, she's gonna get a stain.

However, that's the thing. The people down here in Venice viach area are good looking, right, that's the whole idea. You move down here, you've got small shorts, you know, you're like, hey, it's me, look at my thing.

I guess, so I don't.

I go to other parts of town though, because I've been in Venice this whole time that I've been.

Since two thousand and three.

Yeah, and I go to like Los Feliz or Hollywood, and I'm like, wow, these people are good looking.

Yeah, I guess that's the whole place.

This whole city is just riddled with handsome.

Faced It's really is, you know, the people I'm the most jealous of, and I think they don't appreciate it enough. It's people who have even skin tone.

Oh, people without any level of blotchiness.

Yes, people without any vain issues, without any just weird freckles.

And I don't know you to have any barrachosis.

I do. I have all the things you don't want that if you want to wear shorts, you know.

Yeah, I suppose. I don't know.

I haven't really analyzed my skin tone evenness.

Yeah, I bet because you have even skin tone, you don't have to analyze it. Oh, you're right, that's what I'm saying.

I'm one of these people.

You're exactly who I hate. And I'm glad I can tell you yo, Yes, it doesn't matter if you're black, oh white?

Hey, can I tell you.

About the time that young Zach galifanackets without a beard, like a long time ago, came to Austin and he went he was performing at our Bad Dog Comedy Theater, and he hired two guys that had a dance studio. They were like hip hop and also classically trained dancers. These two big African American dudes, and one one, during one of his songs, he said the N word while playing piano, and the audience even was like, oh, but it just.

Rhymed and it was a ridiculous song.

And then this one of the guys in the audience, but it just seemed like a guy that was in the crowd said Hey, I don't like it when white people use that word.

He's like, oh, I'm sorry, sir.

And then another guy said I don't like it either, and they both came down to the stage and everyone's like, oh, no, he's gonna get beat up by two guys that don't even seem to know each other. And then Michael Jackson's Black or White started to play and they had choreographed this whole dance. Oh and she was like they were holding him up in the air and these guys were doing spins and more like like they were ballet trained, big muscly dudes. What was the best thing I'd ever seen?

He's gonna be famous and he is famous now.

That's so funny. I love that he's been doing like that, things like that for so long.

Yeah.

Another time he came and he hired like a barber shop for these guys that sang on a street corner and they sang during his act.

It was great.

When I worked on his talk show, he did a number one time where he it was a monologue that then he said, so he made a joke about calling someone on the phone and then went into a full dance number to ELO's telephone line. Oh yeah, hello, yes, hallai you and this team of dancers came out behind him, one of whom was Kevin Federline. Before he was famous with Pretty Scary.

I do know that he was a professional backup dancer.

Yeah, well he was for on our show too, and like it was like twenty dancers doing a full routine with Zach.

Wow.

Clearly he's had dreams of dancing.

For yes, a long he's always had dancing dreams. Yeah, what if he has dance nightmares? Oh, where you're at a recital and it's your turn and then your legs can't move.

That would be the dance nightmare I'd have.

And no one likes your your outfit, yeah, or the.

Way you interpret a song through body movement.

No one likes your body movements. No one likes your weird body. Your waist is too long and your legs are too short.

I've been wanting to shorten my waist and lengthen my legs, and I thought that through surgery, I could maybe do that.

You tried with that one hit.

Well I did.

I was like, can we make that and then later we'll do the other one, But can we make it a little longer?

And you would be.

Too tight, your muscles wouldn't stretch, and I'm like, oh, okay, we can't lengthen my muscles. Then he said no, that would be very expensive.

I would have flung you the money. I want to see that.

Well, it's you want me to see with one long leg, and.

Normally I would love one long leg on you.

I kind of want to see me with that too, just for a year until I can afford to do the other leg.

Yeah, and you have a kind of gangster stroll walk about you. But people are like, Chris, don't walk like that. You're not that doesn't that's cultural appropriation. You're like, no, no, no, it's just how my legs.

Yeah, it's not something I'm doing.

It's the issue is I'm five nine and also five eleven depending on.

And you get one really awesome wedge shoe, like a really large kind of a Gene Simmons boot.

My fear always was that I would have to because when I was young and one of the times I broke my foot, I broke something called a growth plate, and I said, it's that bad. Does that mean if I grow anymore, I'm gonna have one leg, one little leg. Because my fear is always having one of those one black shoe that.

Has a thick barle.

Yeah, it always seems like that would be just shoe buying alone has to be this big ordeal or you have to go to a cobbler and have added rubber.

The amount of errands that you would have to start doing.

Yeah, all the times you'd have to drive across town a bunch of times, just because you've got new shoes, not to mention when you're naked, one of your legs it's shorter than the other.

It's just that, I mean. But then there are people who are into that.

Look right, there is.

A a lid for every pot, and I think that maybe I do have one of those feet.

No one's ever watched me walk and say, oh, clearly you're fully symmetrical.

No, I've never heard anyone say that.

No one's ever said that about me.

If someone said that about you, I would definitely tell you what such a lovely cook.

And have people been saying about me? Cares?

They just mostly say the more the thing about your hair.

Mm hmmm, well it's the reason I checked my bag. Good news.

I have Moroccan oil based hair mask. And I know what you're thinking, isn't a mask for just your face?

Well no, no, hell no.

This is a highly forty five, very strong conditionery. It's almost dangerous to leave it in for more than five minutes because your hair will just turn to a feather that will blow away.

It's so soft, so gorgeous, and so for Morocco.

And and my friend Brianna got me all these nice hair care products that those things are expensive. I'm gonna have the fluffiest hair. No more pubic dry fro for this guy. No, I'm gonna have the most beautiful.

Soft hair.

But I had to check my bag because it was all more than four ounces.

I love Moroccan hair oil a lot. I love the smell.

You're familiar with the product, Oh hell yeah?

Oh okay, don't bring a product to me I'm not familiar with. I dare you.

I have Moroccan, I have the hair mask, I have a palmade, I have a oil.

That I drip onto my scalp. Yeah, I am gonna be My hair is gonna.

Be great, and you're gonna smell wonderful, which I think really is should be your concern.

I don't know what I'm preparing for to have all this gorgeous hair, like about an awards show.

I don't know. We're just gonna have nice hair from now on.

But that's the thing, is it. It's you don't have to know what you're preparing for. As long as you're prepared, you'll be ready.

If you are dressed for success, success will be your clothing.

And that's also the Tito's Taco jingle let success be your clothing. Tito's Tacos weird.

I thought it's just a place where I got diarrheas so bad it felt like I was pooping a swarm of bees. But that's success. They also have a wardrobe department.

Well that's success.

Uh CLO's I love Tito's tacos. You love Tito's too. I love Tito's tacos. What else can you do?

I think they also have delicious Britos into Alata's chips and salsa too.

The only thing better than the Tito's taco is two. I don't know why I have every commercial jingle memorized from my entire life.

Well, they're not that hard to memorize, since Tito's Tacos use the word two to rhyme two the entire job.

I got the breakdown that we also have delicious Brito's chips. It's also into lattice too. The only thing better than a Tito's taco is too.

Okay, yeah, no, I need another pass on that song. It's there's It is the laziest writing. It is a list of things on the menu list, and then it's just putting using two and two and two as many times as you fucking feel like it.

I just know that I have a gift for remembering jingles. That's all. I just want you to say, I have a gift.

You have a gift. Thank you. It's amazing. I love hearing that song you were able to recite at two times, which is the key to Tito's tacos. Apparently.

I think I was just raised in front of a TV when I was younger, and and then so I memorized all these old like we're in the money with a scholarship from Crest or whatever. It's too all these It was a specific commercial for promotion with Crest, and it's been in my head since I was eleven years old.

Yeah. Well, because that's the time. You were probably alone in front of the TV. So you're maybe a little scared. Everything was open.

Yep, you were like.

I have to patent and everything just in case something happens.

It really is important to make kids read, I think because I didn't, and I think I would have had so much knowledge now if I just had to hit those books.

Yeah, yeah, it would have been nice. Or watch smart person television like PBS.

Yeah, yeah, do your kids. Yeah, I know everything about antique Roads and their shows.

Oh my god, that's one of my favorite shows. It is when a really old road is on this show. Wait, I'm gonna turn down here. How do I get to the motherfucking beat?

Oh? Or water? It's always hard because you have to suddenly not be in the car.

They Oh no, I just want to drive along like the one. Did I miss that?

Oh no, we will have to go a little further.

Okay, yeah, but okay.

Because it's around the Hotel California, or the hotel where Billy Bob Thornton lives in the show Goliath. That you turn left and then it goes down a ramp and then all of a sudden you're on the You're in an Eagles song.

Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. The only thing is we can't do directions based on the TV show Goliath, since I just didn't don't know what that is.

Right there, there's a yellow sign up there. You have to go that far. Fuck, It's okay, we can get back in. I think.

I'll just sit here the whole time.

I really like doing comedy. Now, let's do stand up somewhere. Okay, let's go to an open mind kidding I do not want to do that. I do not want to, but I do want to be my job again.

You know where this is. You know where we are right now. We're at the hotel shutters. That's that right now. Oh just fancy, Yeah, come down there to have affairs on the weekend. I want to do that.

Yeah, it's it looked like Victorian. There was fancy lattice and curved wood carving.

Yeah, it's really fancy, all white. I knew my friend Nancy had her baby shower there and I was like, yes, but there's always people that are like I'm meeting them. It's shutters for the weekend, and like, that's I'm into that. I want to that's my I want that to be my next phase.

Of life, meeting friends, shutters from Mimosa.

Affairs affairs, straight up weekend affairs.

We'll go to Ashley Madison dot com.

I hear women come joined for free because there's none on there. That's my favorite like fraud thing of all time is that all those men on Ashley Madison were just talking to other men or bots.

My friend Sharon Houston found she's found an email like and she her boyfriend was on there and she was like, well I've found that we're all done. Oh but now it's lots of a big deal because there was no real person he was talking to. You should get back together with him.

Yeah, God, he was out there looking for a robot he wanted. Also, that's so stupid because they weren't married. Just break up.

Yeah, I know, I know, I hate that.

Yeah, just don't humiliate someone. Just break up.

Yeah, don't humiliate them just because you like the thrill of the hunt. You can kind to tell her the hunt.

I'm a big strong man.

So this this show and this bar, it's Chez j or shay.

J Okay, I believe it's French.

Okay, Chez and this hoteler and that show Goliath, and it's it's a great show.

You should watch it anyway.

And that's how we know to turn left up this hard to pronounce street.

But Goliath itself, what channel? Like, when did it start?

I believe it was an Amazon series? Okay, one season. I don't know if it's coming back.

Got it?

But he's like he's a private eyr or a lawyer. Okay, maybe I didn't pay that much attention to it, but he was great and.

It it's a very good job. It looks most of it was shot there.

I love it.

And let's here we are. Here's the pch.

Movemart A Hico on ramp. Here we go. Look at how moody and fascinating it.

Looks right now we should go to Moonshadows.

Moon Shadows, Moonshotine jezed by a moon Show moon Shadow moon Shadow.

Yeah yeah, oh yeah, that's James Taylors.

And so's this damn fis traffic jam? How I hate to be late? Hurts my motive to go? So time again home? My supper bee called, damn this traffic jam. Well, I left my job about five o'clock, took fifteen minutes before a street box, just in time. It's a standard line with the freeway looking like a parking lot.

I said, damn, dra jam, How it hates to be He says hates to be late.

Oh good, that's not you saying that, No.

He is. That is the first rap song I ever heard, though James Taylor.

A lot of people it was Blondie that started rap, but it was actually James Taylor.

Blondie was the very first rapper, right, Yeah, Driving in cars and you go to bars and you don't get far if you have a car and you drive all night. Then you see a light and it comes right down and it lands on the corner. Comes a man from Mars and you try to run, but he's got a gun and you shoots your dead and he eats your head. Now you're in the man from Mars. You go out at and you're eating cars. That's the worst fucking wrap of all time.

I really like that you have it memorized.

Oh I actually one day did it. That song came on the radio when I was in the volvol with my mom and my sister, and I started doing that and they my mom had to stop the car. She was laughing so hard because I knew every single word of That's the best. I was very proud. I love Here we are on Whoops.

On the most dangerous road in Los Angeles.

Seriously, is fucking insane that anyone.

Drives on It is always scary, and everyone always drives like they have something to prove.

Well, if you're driving on the one North, that means that you might probably you're either on vacation or you live in Malibu. Either way, you have an entitlement issue. You think that either you're on vacation so you should be going as slow as you want, or you live in Malibu, which means you don't have to adhere to any driving rules whatsoever.

And those are the people that they do like U turns. I got to move my car and they will casually do a U turn in this six lane freeway. Yeah, and there's always racks. This is always where you see a gnarled Lamborghini.

Uh.

You know, there's always a scary sports car rex fast and furious type crashes.

It makes me nervous to even think about.

I think, isn't this where where Caitlyn Jennings got into that terrible cars?

Now, no one talked about that.

It was a what a diversionary tactic to just switch the subject to I'm I'm gonna hey, I know, I just murdered someone a neighbor, like he ran into a neighbor and ended up being a neighbor of his.

That's horrible.

And then I don't know if charges were going to be I feel like that.

Then it was like, wait, I'm gonna be a woman now, and ever it's like, well that's bigger news.

It's kind of like, is that the order that it is. Yeah, is it?

I remember vividly because I'm like, wait, we're just talking about this now, what about Because it was around the time I guess he was on I didn't ever watch the Kardashian Show, but he was just kind of growing his hair long and talking about it. But the actual transition announcement and the everything you.

Need to do.

But he wasn't found guilty or like when when the police did their report.

Maybe that's all that bothers me because I think there's a look on his face when he was looking at the wreckage, and it was like he didn't care. He just was like casually looking at a crushed car. Oh no, And he just had this blank look on his face, And I'm like, what is wrong with you?

Shock?

Maybe he's in shock.

It's possible you're just defending him because you like weedy.

I'm defending him because I want to live in Malibu one day. I've decided, aside from my shutters Affairs weekend, which I'm not really sure where that came from, but for real, I want I think I want to live. I think my goal is to have a house, or at least like I want to go to the beach, a beach house that's literally on the beach, like Malibu style for the weekend, one of those ones where there's like a glass patio or some kind of.

I'm glad that you want to start appreciating the beach you've only been two three times.

I'm just I don't know, I'm restless or something like, I just want to I want life to be slightly different coming.

Up here on the right.

But it's up on the side of the hill, so it's it's just as good as being right on the beach. There is this little trailer park. There's like mobile homes on it. Oh yeah, and it's not fancy at all, but it is the coolest thing ever. And I guess celebrity is rough up there, but I've always wanted to live there.

I've seen you know who I think. I think Flannigan used to have a trailer there, really, yes, because he's big into he would go to the beach every weekend with his family.

God, I admire him.

And yous have very similar hair.

Gosh, I wish I had more in common with him. An accent.

It'd be nice you could do that accent. I don't know Jesus, it's not that heart.

I turned into it a cartoon character from a serial box Oh, Patrick Sharroad House.

I turn in a pope.

Everything turns to tig. She'll tell his story. But we for a.

While, we were just doing Popeye and sort of a Popeye leprechaunvoice around the house for an entire year, and we were talking.

She's like, all right. Then I'm like, okay, taken out the garbage now.

And I went out to the garbage and a neighbor that I'd never talked to in the alley started started a conversation with me, and I kept and I was like, I just kept talking that way, and he thought I was a crazy person.

Yes, he was like, I knew I shouldn't have talked to that dude. I knew it.

It was a weird time for me to get to know him. But then he hired me to do some children's book drawings for him, so it all ended up.

I hope he was a children's book author.

I hope it ended up being a book. I ended up moving and I lost contact with him.

God, I hope he was using those for good and not evil.

A lot of people no one's talking about the evil children's book rings.

Yeah, where they just look at children's book art all the time. It's not for books.

Well, no, it's written in a way. And I didn't mean to know and you, but what I meant, there's subliminal messages in the children's book that teaches kids to be evil. I want my drawings to be used that way.

I see yours is it? You're taking a different choose your own adventure with this concept, I.

See, And I'm really I really regret to Basically, you said, freeze everyone, I'm.

A cop, and I said, no, you're not a cop, You're Karen. What are you talking about it?

But you know why, because we're comics and improv goes against everything we believe in as people. It improv isn't right. It isn't it's we were raised to believe that it's a fight for the best idea.

Right, right, you're right.

And that's maybe because I was in an improv group in Montana, and I think that I was always going for what I thought would be the best joke, and it would stifle the scene, the building and the it's like, yeah, you just got to laugh.

But now we're all we just have to end it right.

Well good, because then not only did I get a laugh, but I got the final word.

So I won the argument if we were having one.

I won the constant argument I am in with in my head with every person.

Always fighting, at least myself in.

My head, minimum, me, maximum, everybody else.

Yeah, I'm trying to not be that way.

I'm finding that the key to driving a pch is that it needs to be.

Yes, it's this kind of scary, it's super scary.

There's no benefit to I mean, I know that the ocean's right there, that's kind of exciting. That clouds look weird, and if you.

Want to glance over to enjoy it, the only price you have to pay us wrapping around a fucking poole. Well, oh, you know when I should look over?

What is that a dolphin?

A dolphin? Cop? What is that a dolphin? Oh it's a dolphin.

Catch. Oh that dolphin pulled me over? Shit, God damn it.

Yeah.

There's nothing really like convenient or normal or reasonable about living in Malibu, but it just seems like it would be so exciting.

What I don't understand about it is when does it start and when does it end?

Are we in Malibu. Now I don't know. I don't know either.

We're near Gladstone's for Fish, which Blank Patch used to yell on stage. I can only think of blank Patch when I go by Gladstone's for Fish because it's the number four on the sign. Uh And that's so to me forever that will be blank a Patch.

He blurts out the best product.

Name fucking his joke where he's as Tonight's show is brought to you by Ed Hardy, Ed Ed Hardy, No, sorry, by ax Body Spray, Ax Body Spray. It's Ed Hardy for blind people.

Oh man, that's the best joke.

It's the best joke.

That was.

Those were the glory days of when he would consistently host Tiger Lily Yeah at the Hollywood Bar and grill and have. He'd rather have twenty five of those yes commercial things every show.

He was so great.

They're so funny.

He's still great, but he was once great also.

He was so great, and now he's great.

And now he's passed on to being another version of great.

Should I go up coastline and get the fuck off the water.

I'm so let's get the hell out of here before something terrible happened, right, Okay, BMW merceay, he's BMW BMW nty Nick Nolty.

We got to go back, yeah, right, because I can't.

That's it's gonna be a perfect timing because once we're back, we can wrap this Loving It episode up.

Well, right now, we're in a tea intersection and we are basically across the intersection from US is the Pacific Ocean.

There's three different ways we could commit double suicide homicide right now.

Could just go straight into the ocean, yes, and kill ourselves like we're killing a bunch of kids. Yeah, in a minivan. I'm sorry, that's really happened. And if you know anyone that's ever done that with their kids, I didn't mean to make light of it. Or we get just launch out.

You get classically tea boned, a classic tea bone.

A classic t bone into traffic that's going sixty even though it's kind of like just a street, but all the cars are Porsches that are going sixty to eighty.

I'll take that tea bone medium.

You know what that's that's kind of like everything in a nutshell about Los Angeles, Like, deep down, I want to live in Malibu, but it seems dangerous and impossible that mudslides tsunamis. There's a lot of drawback. You have to be like a multi millionaire and no one wants you there.

Right. My concern now, as I get older, I don't know why I'm worried about natural disaster because they keep happening.

Yes, because they keep happening.

But it's like I would I would consider it a privilege to have a giant wave come at me.

And that be the way I go.

Instead of a long about with colon cancer or whatever, or a tiger attacking me, or even a shark.

Come on, Why am I scared of sharks? What a privilege to go that way? The story? Yeah, do you hear about fair? He was a comedian. He fought a shark and lost.

I did.

But no, I'm going to show up one day and be like I pee weird and and they're like, you have three weeks.

I'm like, no, that's when I'm going to swim with the sharks all the time.

Then you go, well, that's when you start jumbling down and going out.

But I don't want to wait to have you rethrow an operative cancer. I want to swim with sharks now and I get out of the car and then to get hit by a car close enough.

And then thanks for listening to do you need a rise?

It's been our last episode, and from the street, I go hu, and then a shark jumps up.

Snap done.

Like I like that visual. I hope everyone followed it along with it, Yeah, with a picture in their brain.

I think they must have. I don't think they had a choice.

I really I was feeling really rusty, like I'd never had a conversation before when you picked me up. I think it's good that.

I think I noticed that in the guests when we did more consistently go to the airport, that they were like kind of groggy or in a bad mood, or.

It's amazing they wanted to do his podcast.

Yeah, it's the whole idea. This podcast has been intensely flawed from the beginning.

Yes, but it's still a great idea.

When I tell people what it is, and I still just so it doesn't have to get convoluted and talk about studios and how we both are out of town or whatever, I just say we pick up comics at the airport and record in the car, and everyone's like that is the best podcast idea. Yep, And I'm like, well you think it is until it's four o'clock and you're dropping off in Carmel or whatever.

You almost get hit by the fucking black spot. What's the there's that one shuttle that's like yellow with black spots on it.

Oh, the spot is a parking it's it's it's right there by the in and out.

I hate it.

Yeah, yeah, And they do not like it when you don't have a car there but you get dropped.

Off there by an uber at the spot.

Yeah, yell at you, please don't come here if you don't have your car, And I'm like, what are you talking about.

I'm just getting a burger.

Let me do my thing. Also, I have to say so I was just driving in circles for a while waiting for you come out, which is part of the agreement. That's not passive aggression complaining.

I know it isn't, but I still feel bad. Continue, please don't feel bad.

But a couple times like you were landed, so I would go in and pull over, and there they now have I don't know if they're cops or their security guards, but they're guys in black outfits with yellow reflective vests that charge your car like a bull when you pull over for a little while. Yeah, like they challenge the car.

They will not let you cannot stop and put it in park and look for someone. If it looks like you're looking for someone in your car.

Isn't moving, They're like, move it along.

They go immediately to yelling.

Yeah, it's crazy.

It is crazy.

Those people must be on some kind of adderall right, just to have to like yell at cars all day and talk about.

A job that has no spiritual fulfillment. Oh, just all day.

You're the bad guy.

Yeah, just you might have will be a debt collector or work for Time Warner cables.

Behind bulletproof glass, which I.

Don't think they have to do anymore. But you used to have to bring in this, yes, the bill, and here I'm done with you guys, and please don't yell at me. And then they're behind glass and they act however they want because that's right. But yeah, what I always thought, what a terrible job, or being a meter made or but.

This one, I think this might be even worse than all of those, because they're ending exhaust. There's all that exhaust captured in those in those what do you call thems? Like where you pull over because it's just cars in a little half open tunnel.

I'm gonna start calling the poles whatever you call thems. I'm in the terminal three of the seventh. Whatever you call them? What do you what do you say? What do you call it? Whatever you call it, whatever you call it, call them? It holds up there.

That says whatever? I know?

But what are they called? That's what I said, did Dick? But the early baseball comedy?

Okay, here, this might be the way to do it. You go back along the water side and it's kind.

Of cool because you can see the look how far away the Santa Monica bere is.

You can see the ferris wheel, and yeah, isn't that fun? It's the Lost Boys. You're eating maggots, Michael God, But that.

Was Santa Cruz, wasn't that.

Yes, it's very deceiving because they said it was in San Demis, did they really?

Yeah? But it was on the Santa Cruz Pier.

What a film, What a great film.

I loved it.

I did too, It was so good. Well, first of all, it wasn't Diane Weese the mom.

She was great.

She is just oh, oh you do, no, you do?

She is great?

You do? What do you do?

She was like a mom, and she had that i've just got over a sickness haircut always in her life.

Oh she has it's a mom hair.

But she was kind of i'm realizing right now, kind of a sexy lady the way she talked, well, sexy mom. What am I talking about, Karen.

Look, this is the new thing these days. Look at those light of bikes like it's a.

Rail, obnoxious hit a rock. I'm sorry they're having fun.

I'm so sorry.

I'm just jealous of their fun.

Yeah, me too, I want fun. It's the reason I lash out of most people.

And most bikes. Diane Lee's really quickly. Just to go back for one second, is the she is beautiful faced, but she's super low key yep, And so then she's always like the really understanding mom. She was also the mom in Footloose. That's what the impression on.

Sure that I often do parenthood.

Sure parenthood mom where she's a very believable mom, but she has this real beautiful, kind of very feminine softness to her. So she's never like the angrist she gets in parent It's hilarious because even if her angrious, she just still isn't.

Acting that mad, right, right, Yeah.

And that's the magic of Diane Wee's That's.

Just good acting, is what that is.

That's right.

I enjoy the film Punch Drunk Love, and I feel like, always have thought that Adam Sandler's a good actor. And of course his own movies we all know they're ridiculous. But I watched this movie the other day called the The Meerwitz Stories.

Oh yeah, I saw that.

I did you like it?

I didn't. I didn't watch it. I saw it on the Netflix show it.

There's so many specific family things, like he needs to get his hip replaced and he's just telling everyone it's his back.

There's so many things. His dad's an artist, the sibling, the way they love each other, but there's a rivalry for the dad's attention even though he's when he's around the other sibling, he just brags about the one that isn't there and vice versa, so they all think that they love the other one more. Yeah, there's all these it's so good. It's such a good movie.

Okay, it's Dustin Hoffmann is so good. Ben Stiller is so good in it. It's all those guys acting and there's not a lot of jokes in it.

Oh, it's like a Woody Allen kind of movie. Facin's.

I don't know why people aren't talking about it more. I won't put my money on it. If people watch it and they don't like it, I will judge them.

You get a T shirt?

Yeah, you get a tea shirt.

Oh is okay? Never mind? I thought that guy's on the wrong side. I didn't say every reason to believe that, right.

Yes, there's nothing about Highway One that isn't insanely very strange.

There should not be a wall between us and a car right next to us going in the same direction. That should never be a visual.

No, it looked like that car was being fed into going the wrong way, like going into oncoming tric.

Really scared me. It just it really scared me. I started to sweat. But it's okay, nothing happened.

It's almost like driving the one. You run this gauntlet, and if you can make it to your multimillion dollar beach house, you're even more relaxed. Yeah, when you get there.

You appreciate your expensive home. Even more because you're not dead in it. That's right, You're alive. That's right, You've made it.

You're finally alive for the first time.

I imagine feeling.

That every day at seven point thirty, when you're done driving through traffic that started at five pm.

That is going to kill you every time. Then you get to your multimillion dollar all glass beach house.

You make your food, yeah, and you go to bed.

Well, you go to on the patio though, to eat the food. Oh okay, because that's the big payoff.

But I just win.

Someone is rich and they work hard to be rich, and they have to drive to get to their house, and there isn't a lot of time for you to just I'd like to just hang out.

I don't like having jobs. I'm kind of lazy.

Yeah, me too, for sure.

But you get jobs you work.

I know, but I don't like it. I'm just a workaholic, just a workholic. Like I'm a aholic everything.

When I have jobs, I have a work ethic. I just avoid it so I don't have to engage it.

Yes, because it's kind of tiring, and yeah, my thing is that I have to We've talked about this million times, I just have to do something. I'm in a very strange point in my life where I have lots of great things happening and then also absolutely nothing at all happening.

It's great, that's everyone's that's what everyone wants.

I know it's true, But it means that I'm going to have to take a class or something. I'm going to because I don't. I don't go out enough. I don't like socialize enough. Right, it can't always be fucking stand up shows, right?

I agree? Would you do something like an art class?

I can't see myself doing anything.

Maybe that's why you should do it, But I know what I said sounds wise, But no, if you don't want to do it, don't fucking do it.

But like that's the reason you should start painting. You're scared of it. You're scared of it, don't you believe that?

I am definitely scared.

I hate it when people analyze.

It, and I like the way that as what the audience doesn't know at home is As Chris was analyzing me, he was also doing a big, kind of round cartoonish point at me. Every time he'd point point right over, like a big cartoon bear warning me about something fire or picnic basket.

Smoky the Bear, Smokey the Bear, rall and and a grell and and a sniff in the air. He can smell a fire before it starts to flame. Oh, Smokey the Bear. That's how he got his name.

No, is that real?

Fuck? Yeah, it's real. Fuck yeah, it's real. That's Smoky the Bear theme song.

What did he have?

So from the forties to the early sixties, it.

Was on after Goliath.

I know what my dad. My dad used to sing that to me.

Oh my god, that was good to put.

Me to bed. You've warned me about fire.

There's a bear that can smell smoke good night.

Only he can say no. Only you can prevent forest fires. Yes, that's the bear's putting a lot on you. What if I don't, then I'll fucking eat you.

You're the one wearing the fucking forest ranger outfit. You bear, it's your job.

I don't. Yeah, I don't want some honorary government job where I have to help you with forest service duties. Not at age eight, I would get off on Lincoln. Maybe.

Okay, let's see if I can.

Oh, if you can't, it's okay. Be safe or be sorry.

Well, this was quite a drive.

It was quite a drive.

Thank you for indulging me in my let's go to Malibu for no reason idea.

No, I'm glad we did.

I wish that my initial plan to be recording before you pick me up, where, of course my batteries were dead.

So imagine if at the beginning of.

This podcast I said this is do you need to write I'm about to get picked up? That would have been a first Yeah, I would have really enjoyed that.

That would have been fun. And also if you had been wearing a little hat with the car that said press in it, and when you got into the car you acted like you were there to ask me some questions.

I think it would also be great if I had all that. But I also had a chauffeur thing with your name on it. But you're the one picking up. It's like, what does that guy do?

You show for yourself right into my car.

And I'm interviewing people like who's that guy?

Like, uh, Nick Broomfield, the British documentarian.

James Adomian does that thing about the guy that.

Does the oh oh, hule Houser fuels Well, let's what's that apricup jelly, that's just the mine really.

One where he's talking to a border patrol agent and in the background you can see people running into America and it's terrific. So let's so, let's fence will keep them.

And then people are just casually or they're stealing something or I don't know.

It's funny. It was a funny juxtaposition.

If you have never heard of heule Houser because you live in a different state, is this some one way street?

No, No, it's good.

Go onto YouTube. There's best of hul Hauser clip compilations. Yes, and it is some of the funniest, boring shit you've ever seen in your life.

Yeah, it is the best.

He points at anything and goes, this is a miasing.

It'll just be a wet, dirty quilt.

Yeah, let's get to see you, Karen.

Let's have dinner.

Yes please, I'm around.

Okay, we're gonna go eat dinner. Why are you honking at us? There's a fucking person go through them. Sorry, I didn't mean that.

Get up. I have this thing right now where it seems like there's a lot of people coming at us, like it feels challenging to drive right now.

Yeah, it's because it's the lighting. Oh you're yeah, it's so dark. It's it's but it's hazy. There's this uh what do you call it? Inversion? What did you call it?

Yes, there's an offshore flow way? Am I going the right way?

You're doing great?

Am I?

Yeah?

Okay?

Great? Maybe we can eat? Uh oh we'll pick a place.

Okay, okay, Well I love it. It's good to see you. It's good to do another episode. You've been uh, you've been listening to? Do you need a ride?

Y a r all? Hello to you?

Doesn't matter how much baggage you clean, give us time and day turning on engage.

We want to send you us inside. We want to welcome you back home.

Tell us all about every scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need.

With Karen and Chris h