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Dice Will Roll

The Dice Will Roll Crewwww.dicewillroll.com
Welcome to Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions, like... Is it cannibalism to eat a polymorphed chicken? Or is it morally okay to kiss a Goblin? What's the worst thing that could happen if we split the party? We're a group of four friends who team up every week to play Pathfinder and be hopelessly queer the whole way through! From getting 4 Nat 1's in a row, to standing up to the darkest forces of the multiverse- Dice Will Roll is here to Keep it Rollin'! Email: dicewillroll@gmail.com Get extra loot on our Patreon!
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Episodes

Extinction Curse Ep. 31: Crystals & Constructs

Machines? Technology? ROBOTS? What the heck! We were told this was just a circus campaign, where's all this scifi junk coming from? As the Wandering Three explore the Wellspring Tower in search of their second Aeon Orb, it becomes clear that someone has come here before them. Who is the mysterious culprit behind these weird machines and unearthly goings-ons? How were they able to get such rare and unusual treasures to help them accomplish their goal? What even is their goal? And why is one of ou...

Feb 22, 20211 hr 59 minSeason 2Ep. 31

Extinction Curse Ep. 30: Dancers & Dustclouds

Pugs and pugs and pugs! The town of Matten Cleave is about to watch the show of a lifetime... as are half the shoony population of Fenry! What delights await them? Heavenly music? Flying horses? MONSTER ATTACKS? We've got it all! And yet, all eyes are on the horizon with the Wellspring Tower, home of the second Aeon Orb, stands. The land around the dying light is bone dry, and the once bountiful woodlands are failing. Could it be the work of the dreaded Xulgath, on their crusade to destroy these...

Feb 16, 20212 hr 10 minSeason 2Ep. 30

Extinction Curse Ep. 29: Pastures & Popcorn

Candy! Get your candy here! We got taffy, we got liquorice, we got Monster Energy Drink... and if you stick around, there'll even be a grand circus show this week! The Circus has come to Matten Cleave, the center of a sprawling expanse of farmsteads, and our heroes are preparing to put on a good show! Rumours of mysterious deaths, dying land and ancient towers float through town... but that can wait! We got our own tower to erect, and it's got a SLIDE, lads! Get your shopping list and start prom...

Feb 08, 20212 hr 10 minSeason 2Ep. 29

Extinction Curse Ep. 28: Shoonies & Shudders

Home on the range! The Wandering Three is taking the wagon trail up to Matten Cleave, a farming town in the Swardlands to put on a good show and look for the elusive Aeon Towers. What amazing sights will they see on the way? Beautiful hills, as far as the eyes can see? Local culture, with their homely ways of life? Unsettling, rotting shacks with an aura of malice that just whispers "I have not left yet" that makes your skin crawl? Oh, maybe some wildlife! As the Circus of Wayward Wonders contin...

Feb 01, 20212 hr 6 minSeason 2Ep. 28

Extinction Curse Ep. 27: Big Tops & Bull-Men

Down to business! The Circus is at the start of their tour of the Swardlands, beginning in Kerrick, a seaside port and a bustling hub of prosperity! But our heroes have their own business to attend to too; namely, the troubling investigation brought to them by the mayor about a certain haunting experience he's been experiencing. But is the truth all there? Is there something he isn't telling us? Is it really a ghost? And why is Eriato so grimly determined to solve this particular case? Whoa, and...

Jan 25, 20212 hr 11 minSeason 2Ep. 27

Extinction Curse Ep. 26: Farmlands & Funerals

ROAD TRIP! The Circus of Wayward Wonders is taking the show on the road, and heading to the Isle of Kortos! The serene Swardlands await them, an idealistic community of towns, farms and plains that look too beautiful to be real. The city of Kerrick awaits with open arms, and the Wandering Three prepare to entertain the masses and seek out the failing Aeon Orbs that once kept this land so bountiful so that they can continue their quest to heal the earth and save the Isle of Kortos! But is all as ...

Jan 18, 20212 hrSeason 2Ep. 26

Extinction Curse Ep. 25: Catfolk & Curtain Calls

COME ONE, COME ALL, TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SPECTACLE ON THIS SIDE OF ABSALOM: MISTRESS DUSKLIGHT'S CELESTIAL MENAGERIE! We have a very special performance for you tonight: the Circus of Washed Up Wonder's Blundering Three have come to pay us a visit! They've slain celestial beauties, they've stolen from babies, they've even made a real mess of one of my favorite performers (Booo!), but the show has only JUST begun! That's right, Escadar: today, the Blundering Three face their doom in the Big Top ...

Jan 11, 20212 hr 43 minSeason 2Ep. 25

Extinction Curse Ep. 24: Mazes & Moon Moles

Enter the Heavenly Gallery, where angels sing and sublime spectacles like no other will shock your very soul! Closing in on the wicked catfolk ringmaster who's kidnapped their friend, the Wandering Three now make their way through a labyrinth of weird and wonderful obstacles from the Celestial Menagerie! Clowns as big as houses? Fortune-telling dummies? Lions, tigers & bears? Oh my! The clock is ticking for Axel and his Amazing Aviary, and if our heroes don't hurry... it's curtain call for e...

Jan 04, 20212 hr 18 minSeason 2Ep. 24

Extinction Curse Ep. 23: Rescues & Revelry

We're here to save our friend! Wait, you want to be rescued too? Jeez, you're the 4th person today who's asked us to do that! What the hell is going on, why do so many people here need to be saved? Could it be that this evil circus run by a sadistic catwoman and her greedy minions will hurt anyone they come into contact with? How horrible! Hot on the tail of Mistress Dusklight, our heroes are encountering more and more of those used and abused by the Celestial Menagerie as they try to rescue the...

Dec 28, 20201 hr 58 minSeason 2Ep. 23

Extinction Curse Ep. 22: Satyrs & Sensations

Justice has been done! With evidence against their capricious former employer, the Circus of Wayward Wonders now can live contently knowing that Mistress Dusklight is to be put behind bars for her crimes, and her Celestial Menagerie to be shut down for good. At last, the Wandering Three can put the past behind them, grow as people and save the world alongside the Greatest Show on All Of Golarion! But will it be that simple? Can such a horrible part of the past stay there? Or is something much bi...

Dec 21, 20202 hr 3 minSeason 2Ep. 22

Extinction Curse Ep. 21: Chronicles & Crusaders

The past is riddled with secrets long forgotten to man. You are just the latest in a line of countless lives that were more or less like yours, and so is everyone in the world. But you're probably the first one to be a clown elf with magic powers from god that has to fight dinosaur people. Yeah, that's most likely a first. The Wandering Three continue their excursion through Moonstone Hall, seeking out the final Xulgath Demon-Caller and the truth as to why the Xulgath even came here in the first...

Dec 17, 20202 hr 39 minSeason 2Ep. 21

Extinction Curse Ep. 20: Ghosts & Grails

The dead just won't stay dead, lately. First, wicked dinosaur folk make their way from the bowels of the Earth, bringing bloody extinction with them. Then, the legacy of a dead god slowly comes back to haunt those who outlived him. Now there's LITERALLY a ghostly priest of the aforementioned dead god is literally following the party around and nagging them. Jeez, how much more on the nose can you get? As our heroes explore Moonstone Hall searching for answers as to why the Xulgath are here and w...

Dec 07, 20202 hr 20 minSeason 2Ep. 20

Extinction Curse Ep. 19: Priests & Poltergeists

Back in my day, people used to do things RIGHT! They built GLORIOUS churches to the God of Mankind, and spent all their free time praying to him! Nowadays, they just say that he's dead, and let old forgotten bastions of his faith fall into obscurity and become a hiding place for troglodyte demon-cultists! The nerve! Have they no respect for their history? The Wandering Three have befriended a quasit, and now seek to cleanse the Temple of the Dead God, knowing that for some reason the Xulgath tha...

Nov 30, 20202 hr 6 minSeason 2Ep. 19

Extinction Curse Ep. 18: Temples & Twirls

The best way to ignore a problem is to put it away. So how do you ignore the death of the God your nation was sworn to worship? You put it away. Beneath the city of Escadar lies a sprawling undercity of temples and churches of Aroden long since abandoned- and it's here that our heroes have come in search of answers. Why did the Xulgath come to the farming town of Abberton? What was their interest in the Aeon Orb? Wh- hey, what's that smell. What? The Xulgath are here, too?! Aw, come on! We thoug...

Nov 24, 20201 hr 57 minSeason 2Ep. 18

Behind the Rolls: Dice Will Roll x Beadle & Grimm Special!

BEHOLD, TRAVELERS! A BOOK THAT CONTAINS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE'S STORY! FROM LEVEL 1 TO LEVEL 20, THIS JOURNAL TELLS TALES OF YOUR ADVENTURES AS YOU GROW IN POWER AND- hey, this sounds a LOT like the book of Kingmaker from season 1. That's a funny coincidence, isn't i- IS THAT MATTHEW LILLARD FROM SCOOBY DOO?! There's a LOT going on in this very special crossover episode, everyone. Like, a LOT. AGAIN: HOLY SHIT, IS THAT MATTHEW LILLARD FROM SCREAM, GOOD GIRLS, ETC. LIKE, THE ACTUAL MATTHEW LILLARD. TH...

Nov 22, 20201 hr 24 min

Extinction Curse Ep. 17: Paladins & Prophecies

Destiny awaits! You are the chosen one! Follow your fate! God, could you get more cliche? The Wandering Three are looking for Moonstone Temple in order to follow up on some loose ends left in Abberton, and to do so, they need to go to some people who know the past better than anyone else: really, really old folk. It's a blast from the past as Royari meets up with the Order of Saint Sarnax, the very people who raised them as a child. What secrets are they hiding? What does Royari know, and what d...

Nov 16, 20202 hr 33 minSeason 2Ep. 17

Extinction Curse Ep. 16: Shimmers & Showstoppers

It's time for some downtime! Our heroes have a week to prepare for one of the most important nights of their lives: the Opening Night of the Circus of Wayward Wonders and their show in Escadar! Rivals lurk, and monsters prowl... and all the while, the circus has to practice, advertise and sell tickets! Clear the monsters from the Southern Swamp? Research the grim secrets surrounding the Xulgath? Put up fliers? Have an 80s themed workout montage? How are we going to fit all that in one week? And ...

Nov 09, 20202 hr 20 min

Extinction Curse Ep. 15: Warts & Wolves

Who doesn't love a good camping trip? Out in the wilds, fires burning, friends all around... it's a real dream come true! Or is it a nightmare for the Circus of Wayward Wonders, when they realize they aren't the only ones out here? Beasts prowl the woods around the land given to the circus to put on a show outside of Escadar, and it isn't exactly safe out here at night. It's up to our clowny companions to drive out the terror that stalk the night and prepare for the Greatest Show on all of Golar...

Nov 02, 20202 hr 12 minSeason 2Ep. 15

Halloween Special 2020: Mysteries & Mosquitoes

50 years ago, something horrible came to the sleepy town of Shimmerford. With glowing red eye, six long, handles arms and buzzing, mosquito like wings, a creepy cryptid known today only as The Mosquito Witch brought with her dread and panic that rocked the little village. But soon, fear turned to curiosity, and the townsfolk started celebrating her as a folk story, bringing in monster hunters from around the River Kingdoms to seek her out and, while they're at it, stop by at the yearly Mosquito ...

Oct 31, 20202 hr 51 min

Extinction Curse Ep. 14: Ports & Pickpockets

We're taking the show to the Big City! After battling Dinosaur People and receiving divine powers from a Dead God back in Abberton, the Wandering Three is leading the Circus of Wayward Wonders back to their home town of Escadar. Here, sea salt can be smelt in the air, pavement and cobblestone lie underfoot and wicked crooks lurk around every corner. History absolutely has its eyes on you here, where the Circus' rivals, Mistress Dusklight's Celestial Menagerie, lie waiting to punish you for darin...

Oct 26, 20202 hr 27 minSeason 2Ep. 14

Extinction Curse Ep. 13: Godlings & Glory

A star rotates the peak of the Erran Tower, and our heroes- Royari San Sarnax, Volio Via and Eriato Bati- face off against a gruesomely scarred xulgath bearing demonic runes carved into his flesh and a massive stone hammer. The faith of their home lies within this battle; should they fail, the primeval troglodytes will destroy the life-giving Aeon Orb left to us by a dead god, dooming the Isle of Erran to extinction. So like, the stakes are pretty high. What did we come to Abberton for again? Le...

Oct 19, 20202 hr 21 minSeason 2Ep. 13

Extinction Curse Ep. 12: Scales & Succubi

LOOK OUT, WANDERING THREE! HOTTED BOOBS UP AHEAD! TITS, BIG ONES! The seductress behind the slaughter has revealed herself, and slowly the conspiracy behind the murder of the Circus of Wayward Wonder's ringmaster is revealed. Murderous druids, demon cults, dinosaur people... we just wanted to put a show on, man! But now as our heroes fight for the fate of the Isle of Erran, one thing is abundantly clear... a clown's duty isn't just to do sick tumbles and throw pies at people. It's to ward off fo...

Oct 12, 20202 hr 20 minSeason 2Ep. 12

Extinction Curse Ep. 11: Troglodytes & Time Warps

CLOWNS VERSUS DINOSAURS! The Circus of Wayward Wonders encounters their new great foe; the treasonous troglodytes, the ancient dinosaur-like cave-dwellers known as the Xulgath. But what is their goal in the Erran Tower? What does a bunch of devolved lizards care about with a monument to a dead god? Get outta here, dinosaurs! This is a CIRCUS campaign! That's why it's called Extinction Cu- oh, no. Ohhhhh, noooo... oh, that's not good at all. Oh, no no no. Well, looks like we've only got one optio...

Oct 05, 20202 hr 8 minSeason 2Ep. 11

Extinction Curse Ep. 10: Fossils & Fields

Climb the tower, save the world! The Wandering Three have found a grave secret about the Island of Erran, and it's up to them to investigate further to prevent the lands from slowly draining in vitality! The ancient tower left by the dead god keeps countless secrets inside it... but who are its new denizens? What secrets do THEY hide? What role did they have in the demons that have been plaguing the sleepy town of Abberton? And for the love of the gods, what is that AWFUL smell? It's right out o...

Sep 28, 20202 hr 2 minSeason 2Ep. 10

Extinction Curse Ep. 9: Half-Fiends & Hellraisers

GHOULS!! The Wandering Three have found themselves in a crypt full of cannibalistic undead intent on feasting on their flesh! They didn't sign up for this! They signed up to find the last demon in the Hermitage of Blessed Lightning, so they could enter the main temple and take on the wicked priestess who started this whole debacle, and there's NO sign of-- ohhhh, the last demon is probably one of these GHOULS, huh..? Rats. Well, Wanderers, you're on your own. Have fun with the living dead, I sup...

Sep 21, 20202 hr 3 minSeason 2Ep. 9

Extinction Curse Ep. 8: Demons & Druids

Raze the lands and grow daisies from the ashes! That's the plan of the cabal of diabolists that our heroes find themselves up against! Infiltrating the Hermitage of Blessed Lightning, the Wandering Three must cleanse this once holy place of abyssal influence if they want to rescue its former leader and stop whatever's going on here... but man, are there a lot of unanswered questions! What's with the ghouls? What are the cultists "trading" sacrifices for? And who's the mysterious, beautiful woman...

Sep 14, 20202 hr 27 minSeason 2Ep. 8

Extinction Curse Ep. 7: Sanctums & Slurks

Ah yes, the famed destination of many a circus throughout history: a hermitage filled with demon-worshiping nature cultists! The Wandering Three have uncovered the unsettling truth about the nature of the Hermitage of Blessed Lightning, and need to race to their cliff-side hideout to rescue the hapless mayor who went to investigate them. This is all kind of a lot to put on the shoulders of some traveling entertainers though, right? We just wanted to like, juggle and do sweep flips... surely, onc...

Sep 07, 20202 hr 20 minSeason 2Ep. 7

Extinction Curse Ep. 6: Rivals & Runes

ANOTHER circus has come to town?! What the hell! That's bull! What? Boo! Get out of here, you clowns! And not the good type of clowns, like us! The bad type of clowns, like Republicans! Former friends and present foes have shown up on the streets of Abberton, laying claim to the turf that the Circus of Wayward Wonders has already rightfully claimed! But is now really the best time? We're kind of in the middle of investigating a missing persons report or two, and we really don't have a tonne of t...

Aug 31, 20202 hr 7 minSeason 2Ep. 6

Extinction Curse Ep. 5: Taverns & Troupes

There's definitely something going on in this town! As the Wandering Three continue their investigation into Abberton, more and more weird stuff keeps coming up. Animals don't usually just run wild like this. Cemeteries don't tend to be demon infested. And now you're telling me that the suspicious number of missing persons aren't just people skipping town? For their next trick, the mystery solving circus will visit seedy bars, check out some sweet deals, and check out who on earth's causing such...

Aug 24, 20202 hr 2 minSeason 2Ep. 5

Extinction Curse Ep. 4: Vandals & Vermleks

Oh boy, I love going to church! Circuses and churches go hand in hand together, right? Yeah. Yeah! The Wandering Three are checking out some of the weird happenings in the sleepy town of Abberton, from murderous druids to rampaging boars... and apparently, there's a weird smell coming from the local bank-church! That sounds promising! Nothing bad has EVER happened in a church. Weird smells, creepy gravediggers and a load of crashing noises... yup, just normal church stuff all around! Bless yours...

Aug 17, 20202 hr 28 minSeason 2Ep. 4
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