Katherine [00:00:01]:
what's happening is. That, like, you're putting yourself down for not being where you wanted to be. Like, you somehow in your mind figured out, I want to be at X-Y-Z at this point in my life or time or whatever. And when you're not there, that's when you start being hard on yourself.
Anatoliy [00:00:17]:
The interesting phenomenon of acquiring information is that you do like, no more. And it's very easy along the way to conceptualize that you know more than that. You actually know people that are the most, like, stuck. Have all the answers.
Phillip [00:00:30]:
You think we should order a pizza right now? Just get it here so we can pick at it? No, I just say it's like something.
Eldar [00:00:34]:
To pick at, you know? Okay, Mike, so what did you say?
Mike [00:00:51]:
Well, I was saying that you guys brought something to my attention off the air. We had a conversation about having thicker skin. Right. Being. Accepting yourself.
Eldar [00:01:02]:
Right.
Mike [00:01:02]:
Not having to hide all the things that are associated with that.
Eldar [00:01:06]:
Okay.
Mike [00:01:06]:
Which is, I guess, acceptance of self. Yeah, acceptance of self.
Eldar [00:01:10]:
What does it actually mean?
Mike [00:01:11]:
What does it mean? Yeah, help me to more understand it because I understand that it's very detrimental.
Eldar [00:01:19]:
Why do you understand it?
Mike [00:01:20]:
Well, because I feel that when these things happen, I get angry. So obviously anger is not an emotion.
Eldar [00:01:25]:
That you want to be ruled by.
Mike [00:01:28]:
Yeah. It's a good sign that it's not good.
Eldar [00:01:38]:
Okay.
Mike [00:01:39]:
But I guess it's.
Eldar [00:01:41]:
Did you agree with some of our arguments?
Mike [00:01:42]:
Oh, I agree with you guys for sure. Yeah.
Eldar [00:01:44]:
Okay.
Mike [00:01:44]:
Yeah, I agree with you guys for sure. I want to understand them more and then how to.
Eldar [00:01:51]:
Well, let's talk about then. Let's bring up some of the examples that we talked about, maybe so the listeners can understand why are you coming into this door this time now? Right. What actually happened?
Mike [00:02:03]:
Yeah, Tolly was talking shit.
Eldar [00:02:06]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:02:07]:
And I got personally offended by it. I made it bigger than it actually was. I made myself believe it was bigger than it actually was. I got upset, I got angry, I got offensive. Probably defensive.
Eldar [00:02:19]:
Defensive, yeah.
Mike [00:02:21]:
And then that continued for a while. And afterwards I realized that it was like, you guys are not wishing me anything bad, but I'm interpreting it that way. And obviously that's a concerning thing.
Eldar [00:02:32]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:02:34]:
I don't want to come out of pocket, like, to come out of face.
Eldar [00:02:36]:
Like that and be able to take a joke for the joke.
Mike [00:02:42]:
And also, I guess the attachment to this identity is another part of it. Having the attachment to this identity, like, I don't want to accept that as part of my identity or I have a problem accepting, know, putting on an image. Right? Yeah, yeah, probably, Phil said probably people pleasing as well as in there. So it's a whole bunch of things that are in there. I don't really know where to start because in my head it's very jumbled. I didn't really think about it since we had the conversation because it is a lot of different things, all kind of like masked into one or from one source, I think. Okay, so I'd like to understand it more.
Eldar [00:03:20]:
The interesting phenomena is, to me at least, right, in this case scenario, and a lot of times maybe for a lot of people, probably is going to be interesting too. And then we would agree is the fact that, you know, the art of creating and dishing a joke, right. But when it comes to you receiving a joke, you know what I mean? You always had a hard time. Right?
Mike [00:03:48]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:03:48]:
And that's why some people claim or say that you have thin skin and you don't have the thick skin because you can dish a joke, but you can't receive a joke.
Mike [00:03:57]:
Right.
Anatoliy [00:03:57]:
For sure.
Eldar [00:03:58]:
Why is that? Yeah, I guess maybe we have to talk about the art of jokes. Maybe the reason for jokes, why jokes exist. What do they do? How are they beneficial? How are they useful? Right. Because they don't only make us laugh. Right. Sometimes they make us cry. And I think that those individuals who have the ability to make jokes, especially the ones that are not maybe charged with a personal offense or a jab that actually hurts somebody's feelings, can potentially provide a person to look within and make him grow, potentially make him laugh or whatever. But there's another side of that story, right? That coin where a lot of people who take themselves very seriously, they can't take a joke.
Eldar [00:05:00]:
In your case, it's a pretty interesting phenomena because you're a joker at heart. You like to joke around. You like to make fun, poke fun, but when it comes to directing jokes towards you, you have a hard time with it.
Mike [00:05:12]:
Do you think it's all jokes poked towards me or just specific areas where I have an attachment?
Eldar [00:05:16]:
Well, you gave us a little bit of an inside information on this, right?
Mike [00:05:20]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:05:20]:
Where you said that, hey, I don't want to be portrayed as somebody because I'm actually working on this particular thing. So you want to be taken more seriously. So you protect very specific identities. However, I think that the people around you that have the ability to make jokes, I totally made a joke about a certain thing that you're trying to protect. It's actually very useful. The joke then has two meanings. It can make people laugh and it can also make you cry, but make you cry for a reason. Your anger comes out.
Eldar [00:05:49]:
That's making you cry. Right. Then it's more of like an educational joke. It's not just like a random joke that just everybody laughs at and nobody gets heard about. Right. But that one carries a little bit more of a punch, I would say, because it can educate or raise awareness. Right. On something that might be misunderstood by you specifically because you're holding on to an attached identity.
Eldar [00:06:14]:
Correct. Stuff like that. I think it's probably specific, Joe, you know what I mean? That centers around defaming your character.
Mike [00:06:25]:
Yeah. Or not being wanted to be portrayed in a certain light in a specific kind of thing.
Eldar [00:06:33]:
Right. And the thing is, have you known this about yourself for a very long time or. No, because at least me, I've known.
Mike [00:06:39]:
This about being sensitive.
Eldar [00:06:42]:
Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah.
Mike [00:06:43]:
Not being able to take a joke yet, for sure.
Eldar [00:06:45]:
Okay.
Mike [00:06:45]:
Yeah, I know. I think.
Eldar [00:06:47]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:06:47]:
Part of it is also I'm hard on myself. It's another thing I just thought about.
Eldar [00:06:50]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:06:51]:
So I probably hard on myself and I don't accept myself about in those areas or haven't really understood it that area enough to really accept myself about it. It's maybe in a confusion kind of state.
Katherine [00:07:04]:
Yeah. Because think about it. If it's anything that you have a hard time dealing with about yourself, when someone else highlights it, it triggers it's already something that you may not like about yourself, for example, or have accepted. And then when someone else highlights it, it just reminds you of not liking that. So that can definitely trigger some frustration.
Eldar [00:07:28]:
I see that for sure.
Mike [00:07:30]:
Yeah, that's what happens. But, yeah, I mean, I think I said to Phil today is maybe it's like somewhat of an identity crisis. Like, I don't know who I am in those areas still. I don't know what I'm okay with, who I want to be. So therefore, maybe I'm trying to figure it out, and then somebody's making fun of me about it, and I'm like, on myself. I'm frustrated because I can't crack it. And I'm feeling maybe I'm doing some stupid things, maybe I'm not. And I'm trying to understand myself.
Mike [00:07:55]:
I can't. And then somebody puts light on it. It becomes very frustrating and makes me angry.
Eldar [00:08:02]:
But it only becomes frustrating for you because you have certain attachments to certain outcomes or certain identities.
Mike [00:08:09]:
No, maybe that. But I think maybe it's more of like an unknown not knowing where I am, like, not having decided, right. Not picking a side yet in that specific kind of.
Eldar [00:08:21]:
But why would that make you upset? But why would those things like, or those jabs make you feel a certain type of way if you clearly didn't take a side? Right. You don't know where you're at. I don't see how a joke is supposed to land in the wrong way.
Mike [00:08:37]:
Because if you haven't picked a side, but then you may be doing some actions that are leaning towards one side or another.
Eldar [00:08:43]:
Okay.
Mike [00:08:43]:
It might be, see, I think it's.
Anatoliy [00:08:46]:
Where you can't create the image you want with your mind, with your actions yet that's where you might be more.
Eldar [00:08:55]:
Prone to get upset. Okay. You have to explain that.
Anatoliy [00:08:59]:
Like, if Mike, for example, wants to be a particular type of person.
Eldar [00:09:03]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:09:03]:
I'm saying that, like, for example, if Mike wants to be a particular type of person, but he's not that person yet, and he knows that internally.
Eldar [00:09:12]:
For example, when you poke fun of.
Anatoliy [00:09:14]:
The person he wants to be, that he has not been able to manifest yet.
Eldar [00:09:19]:
Okay, that could be offensive. But how? Where is the offense? Well, because the offense is the attachment.
Anatoliy [00:09:26]:
Well, the offense is because you want to be a particular type of person, but you're not that person yet.
Eldar [00:09:32]:
But how is that offensive? I don't understand that.
Anatoliy [00:09:36]:
What do you mean?
Eldar [00:09:37]:
It might be frustrating, but your frustration should be only on you, not on the offense. That's being said because it's.
Anatoliy [00:09:44]:
Well, yeah, but that's. If you look at it that way.
Eldar [00:09:46]:
But that's how you're supposed to look at it. Yeah.
Phillip [00:09:49]:
That person in that situation is. No, I wouldn't expect them to also have a thick skin and then be able to take a joke.
Eldar [00:09:56]:
No, I actually think it's the opposite. I think it's completely incorrect of what Toli just said. I think that person actually believes to a degree that he is that person, and when made fun of that person actually understands that he is not within that moment and therefore the defense mechanism, maybe.
Anatoliy [00:10:14]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:10:14]:
Okay.
Eldar [00:10:15]:
You understand what I'm saying?
Anatoliy [00:10:16]:
Yeah, I see what you're saying.
Eldar [00:10:17]:
It's the opposite.
Anatoliy [00:10:18]:
Yeah. To me, it's like something is happening in that moment of you feeling that kind of way.
Eldar [00:10:26]:
To defend. To become defensive is to defend something, correct?
Mike [00:10:31]:
Yeah, I'm convinced.
Eldar [00:10:33]:
I'm thinking that it's to defend an identity that is not yet solidified and it's not actually there.
Anatoliy [00:10:39]:
Yeah. My understanding is that if there's someone that you're trying to be and you become that person. There's nobody in the world that could take that away from you.
Eldar [00:10:49]:
I agree with that. I agree with that.
Anatoliy [00:10:52]:
If you actually make that change.
Eldar [00:10:53]:
I agree with that.
Anatoliy [00:10:54]:
Right. Which is why is that if there's something that we're individually competent in, nobody here can make a joke that would be, like, offensive, offensive or funny enough.
Eldar [00:11:05]:
Where it's because the truth is the truth. Yeah, you explained my point. Yeah. That the only reason why you might be offended is because you might be attaching yourself to the identity that is not yet solidified, which you're trying to protect.
Mike [00:11:19]:
Well, I think that's a part of being hard on myself.
Eldar [00:11:22]:
Yeah, that's part of this, correct.
Mike [00:11:24]:
Yeah, I think it makes sense.
Eldar [00:11:25]:
So it's almost a premature attachment. So something that's not really serving you yet. You know what I'm saying? So you're defending something that's going to maybe potentially in the future, be useful, but in the moment, it's not. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, you're being too hard on yourself. You're taking yourself too seriously in that sense. Well, obviously, because, again, Mike, who jokes around can have fun and be completely fine, but as soon as reversed to him, he can't take it. That's a complete 300 and 6180 on the personality trait. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Eldar [00:12:10]:
Because you make the same jokes on the other side. You know what you're doing.
Mike [00:12:16]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:12:16]:
You know what I'm saying? So the application to yourself is the interesting part.
Mike [00:12:21]:
Well, yeah, I don't get it either, so that's why I'm asking.
Eldar [00:12:24]:
Yeah, no, for sure.
Mike [00:12:25]:
For me, it's also just confusing to you guys.
Eldar [00:12:28]:
What's the core of it?
Anatoliy [00:12:29]:
Yeah, I just more viewed as, like, in these different things. Maybe Mike has, like, low self esteem, and he could just be broken down.
Eldar [00:12:38]:
Very easily in those things. But why does Mike have low self esteem?
Anatoliy [00:12:44]:
Well, because probably those things are not yet solidified in the way that maybe he thinks they are.
Mike [00:12:51]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:12:53]:
I also think the reason why self esteem exists in the first place is because a lot of times we highlight our negatives versus maybe working on our positives. You know what I'm saying? I'm constantly trying to remind people that you guys have positives and you should strive towards realizing those positives. But a lot of times people are stuck on saying, like, yeah, but this is negative. This is negative. I haven't gotten it to this point yet. You know what I'm saying? To me, it's a fascinating phenomenon. It's almost like, when I say it, you guys are surprised every single time. Like, oh, shit, I have this quality and I'm good at it.
Eldar [00:13:27]:
Yeah. It's making me feel good. That's why I'm talking about it. I'm only giving a testimonial because it's true to me.
Mike [00:13:32]:
I get it. But I think the other stuff, it overshadows those things. Overshadow.
Eldar [00:13:39]:
But why?
Mike [00:13:40]:
Because I guess me, I make them bigger than they are, and I think those things are still more important.
Eldar [00:13:45]:
Who is this guy that's making this?
Mike [00:13:47]:
The person who takes himself seriously?
Eldar [00:13:48]:
Why exactly. Why are you taking yourself so seriously?
Mike [00:13:52]:
If you understand that at some point, I believe that that's what I need to do for trauma.
Eldar [00:14:00]:
But your whole lifestyle, your whole lifestyle is contradictory to that belief. You want to have fun and you're having fun.
Mike [00:14:07]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:14:08]:
You're constantly having fun. Yeah.
Mike [00:14:11]:
No, for sure.
Eldar [00:14:12]:
You know what I'm saying? So it's a complete contradiction. So if you live in that, in between of that and not making a choice, you will suffer.
Mike [00:14:20]:
No, for sure. I mean, that's. What's. That's obvious. Yeah.
Eldar [00:14:24]:
You know, like Catherine said today with the Tommy, I was taking myself so seriously. I gotta finish college. This is so important for me. She went to school and she's like, what the fuck am I doing here? I don't want the ship. I know what I like.
Katherine [00:14:36]:
The ship sailed for me at that.
Eldar [00:14:39]:
You know, maybe she wasn't ripe enough, sure, but at that moment in time, she was miserable. She's like, I don't want to do this. I want to do very specific things. I want to cook at home, do yoga, hang out with my dogs, and work on myself. School is not going to give you that. At that moment, now that she's ripened up a little bit, she's like, hey, I want to go back to school. I'm like, what do you want to do? I want to do a cooking class. That's school.
Eldar [00:15:05]:
That is school. You want to learn? You go to school to fucking learn. With intention.
Katherine [00:15:11]:
Actually, our gym is having a small course in the very specific type of yoga that I like. You should have seen how the spark instantly. I wanted to know more details. I was like, if they have that course, I'm taking it. I was instantly interested. I haven't had that happen organically in general, in a long time. So I think that this is kind of like the spark that I've been kind of waiting for in all these months or this time of trying to find myself and work on myself. That's it.
Katherine [00:15:41]:
It's right.
Eldar [00:15:44]:
What this is.
Katherine [00:15:45]:
And I still don't consider myself, like, I don't call myself a yogi or anything like that. I'm just a person that enjoys going to class.
Eldar [00:15:54]:
She genuinely has. You know what I mean?
Katherine [00:15:56]:
Yeah. I like how it makes me feel.
Eldar [00:15:59]:
That's it. That's it. Yeah. Philip, you're utterly quiet, man.
Katherine [00:16:03]:
Yeah. Philip, unleash.
Eldar [00:16:08]:
I'm listening to everybody.
Mike [00:16:10]:
While you're listening, can you also.
Eldar [00:16:13]:
Something else? What's that?
Mike [00:16:14]:
Can you hook me up?
Eldar [00:16:15]:
Yeah. Anybody else? I have some. Thank you. You could just bring it here.
Mike [00:16:19]:
Yeah, bring it over.
Katherine [00:16:22]:
I'll have some of elder's. Sure. I'll have some. Thank you.
Eldar [00:16:28]:
Thank you, Phil. Yeah. So I think a lot of times when we do take ourselves very seriously, we become serious in those moments. And those moments obviously take away from the moments that we want to be fun and want to have fun.
Katherine [00:16:41]:
I think that this is important, though, to take yourself so seriously and get to a point where you realize, like.
Eldar [00:16:47]:
Why am I doing this?
Katherine [00:16:49]:
This is not working out for me. This is not making me feel good. This is not making me feel better about myself. What you end up doing sometimes what's happening is that you're putting yourself down for not being where you wanted to be. Like, you somehow in your mind, figured out, I want to be at XYZ at this point in my life or time or whatever. And when you're not there, that's when you start being hard on yourself or putting yourself down about where you are right now if it's not where you want it to be. I think this is important so that you're at a crossroads. Like, okay, is this valuable to my life? Is this making me happier? Is this enhancing, or is this causing turmoil or making me unhappy?
Anatoliy [00:17:38]:
Yeah. I also feel that in the process of self development, I could definitely say for myself, I've definitely had times where I felt like I was further along than where I actually was, but I didn't realize this is what I was building up to think along the way.
Katherine [00:17:55]:
It's life. Humbling. Humbling?
Eldar [00:17:57]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:17:57]:
Then I get humbled, and I'm like, whoa, okay, I'm not where I thought I was going. And I realized that there was some probably arrogance and definitely not being humble that ignited some of that along the way. And then I have to go back and kind of do the walk of shame to myself. Right. And then go back like, okay, hold on. I'm not where I thought I was. Now I need to be more humble and learn more and do that. And that's definitely happened to me numerous times.
Anatoliy [00:18:35]:
But I don't think that it's difficult to notice that along the way. And I think it's that phenomenon, again, of the Socrates thing of him saying that he knows nothing. I think that the interesting phenomenon of acquiring information is that you do know more.
Eldar [00:18:59]:
Right.
Anatoliy [00:19:00]:
You do know more. And it's very easy along the way to conceptualize that you know more than that. You actually know because you have to.
Eldar [00:19:11]:
Lead totally with, I know more, but I know more that I know less.
Anatoliy [00:19:18]:
Well, yes, but I'm saying is that to do that, it's a very concentrated effort along the way.
Eldar [00:19:23]:
Correct. And if you're the issue, efforts to say, like, the reason there is more, the more you understand that there is actually more and you know less than you actually know.
Anatoliy [00:19:33]:
Yes, but I'm saying is that, like.
Eldar [00:19:34]:
For example, always opening up more?
Anatoliy [00:19:37]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:19:37]:
It's a never ending opening up.
Anatoliy [00:19:39]:
Yes. But again, you don't always think about it in that kind of way in the moments of all those different things. Lots of times they just usually hit you at a certain point and then you need to go back.
Mike [00:19:50]:
Right.
Anatoliy [00:19:50]:
But I'm saying is that we're not taking Mike. And we're just like, I don't know. We're not taking Mike. And we're just putting him in the forest somewhere upstate. Right. And it's like, okay, we're just going to focus on talking about you every day and your self development, and that's it. You do a lot of different things throughout the day. And you're involved in a lot of different things.
Anatoliy [00:20:15]:
And you partake in things that you like, whether it's from sports, from items or restaurants, or all the different things that you enjoy. Formula one, Amex points. Right. Different stuff like that.
Eldar [00:20:34]:
Right.
Anatoliy [00:20:34]:
You participate in all of that. And participating in all of that while self developing without a particular concentrated effort, I think, definitely leads towards forgetting of what you're saying. Because it's like, a lot only because.
Eldar [00:20:50]:
It has not been accepted. You understand that. So the answer is, how do you feel about buzing, Mike? Good or bad?
Mike [00:20:58]:
I feel fine about it now.
Eldar [00:20:59]:
You feel fine, right. But before you felt bad.
Mike [00:21:01]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:21:01]:
Right. It's intentional buzing. That is good. You know what I'm saying? Because you know how to buzz and control it.
Mike [00:21:11]:
Because now at least I know what's going on if I do catch myself doing it.
Eldar [00:21:15]:
Correct.
Mike [00:21:15]:
You understand?
Eldar [00:21:17]:
Just don't do it blindly.
Mike [00:21:18]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:21:18]:
You know what I mean? Yeah, that's the key.
Anatoliy [00:21:22]:
But it's just hard to tell an individual themselves to not do something blindly, because it's almost like a contradiction.
Eldar [00:21:30]:
Sure, right?
Anatoliy [00:21:30]:
Like, it's easier to say, like, hey, make sure you make sure that Mike doesn't do it blindly, but to tell Mike to make sure that.
Mike [00:21:39]:
I think part of it is not accepting myself for the things that I like that haven't accepted. When you guys make fun of me about the points thing, it doesn't bother me because I like it. I enjoy it.
Eldar [00:21:51]:
Yeah, that's your thing.
Mike [00:21:52]:
But before maybe I'll be like, yo, what the hell? Why are they making fun of me about this?
Katherine [00:21:57]:
That's actually, for the record, like, a huge asset to have to even offer to everyone. You just made my trip to Spain so much better with your help with the points. My mom and I have never even traveled this a. I think it's a huge.
Eldar [00:22:14]:
Yeah, but you see, you stand behind it now. You understand. Just like my example is you guys say elder sex deals. You know what I'm saying? That's me I like.
Mike [00:22:23]:
Yeah, I guess I'll buy some useless shit.
Eldar [00:22:25]:
And yeah, I know that this is my flaw and my positive as well. It serves both, but you also can.
Anatoliy [00:22:32]:
Laugh at the useless shit.
Eldar [00:22:33]:
Yeah, I can laugh at it. I can see it for what it is. You know what I mean? Plus, sometimes I actually serve you guys as well, just like you serve Catherine in this instance, because of what your abilities are. Right. I could tell you guys, oh, buy those slippers was very cheap, or buy those shoes very cheap. You know what I mean? Yeah, because I'm constantly on it. So, yeah, it's accepting yourself, the fact that it's not perfect, but it works for me. I like it, but I check things.
Mike [00:22:59]:
Yeah, I guess it's taken a stance on those things and like, hey, I am this guy that does the points, that does this. And finally, I guess saying to yourself, like, whatever in the mirror, whatever it is, I'm the points guy and before.
Eldar [00:23:16]:
You weren't, and that's why you have issues with it.
Katherine [00:23:19]:
It actually makes sense. You're a numbers guy. You're good with numbers.
Anatoliy [00:23:22]:
Maybe.
Eldar [00:23:24]:
Yeah, see, he said maybe.
Katherine [00:23:26]:
Okay. No, it makes sense. He's good with numbers. This point stuff is for me.
Mike [00:23:30]:
It's like you guys like to gambling. You like the UFC stuff? Yeah, I like accumulating points, buying creative ways to hustle points.
Katherine [00:23:41]:
Luxury experiences from it. That's a win win.
Eldar [00:23:43]:
Guys, we had a sick weekend because of Mike's points. We beat the traffic, and we went to the beach. That was great. And we stayed in a nice. Yeah, because of the any. Again, it's something to be proud of.
Mike [00:23:58]:
I think it is, but yeah, it's that.
Eldar [00:24:02]:
Do you not take out gratefulness for what it is?
Mike [00:24:05]:
No, I do take it, but is it not enough? No, it's not what it is. I just hide it, but I lost it.
Anatoliy [00:24:12]:
I think it's internally that he likes these different things, but the way he looks at them, he has a bad association with them. Yes, he says, yes, he maybe knows. Yes, I know I do this, but he views these things as all bad things that he does, and that's how he's hard of it.
Mike [00:24:30]:
But what I'm doing myself, I'm enjoying the fuck out of it.
Eldar [00:24:33]:
Exactly. Just like I enjoy slick deals. But Catherine says, stop this, stop this, stop this. I don't hear that. Just like Catherine buys her nonsense makeup stuff. I keep saying, yo, stop this. She goes, no, I'm not going to stop this. This is my shit.
Eldar [00:24:48]:
I don't understand it. She doesn't understand my shit. I don't understand her shit. It's supposed to be this way.
Katherine [00:24:53]:
I use my makeup, though.
Eldar [00:24:54]:
You know what I'm saying?
Anatoliy [00:24:56]:
Allegedly, right?
Eldar [00:24:57]:
Oh, shit, my man. I'll start taking pictures for you. All right. I'm in trouble, you know what I'm saying? Because everybody has their own little quirks. Yeah.
Katherine [00:25:09]:
Guys, we have a touch metal detector in my garage, for the record.
Eldar [00:25:12]:
And I'm going to use it one day, and I'm going to find something. And you're going to be very excited about it. Yes, Philip or no, I'm going to find something. Philip, Philip, please say no. Bring it to Aruba. I will bring it to Aruba. I'm going to find a ring that somebody lost a long time ago. You have diamonds on it and everything.
Anatoliy [00:25:28]:
Worth two bajillion dollars.
Eldar [00:25:30]:
Exactly. And then she's like, oh, can I have that?
Phillip [00:25:32]:
Mike's going to give it to his wife.
Mike [00:25:38]:
Yeah, I think it's that. It's probably the behavior before when I used to do, like, criminal shit. Yeah. And then always try to hide it.
Eldar [00:25:49]:
This is like, the extension of it, a sneaky thing.
Mike [00:25:52]:
But I actually used to do, like, stupid shit that was bad, very bad. And I was trying to always hide it and keep it in secrecy. So now if I guess I got a response, you guys made a joke about it, and I was like, okay, this is a bad thing. I shouldn't be doing this, but there's nothing wrong with it, but I never said to myself, what am I doing wrong here with the points? I'm not doing anything bad.
Eldar [00:26:13]:
No, but in my head, forgiven previous.
Katherine [00:26:17]:
Mike for the mistakes that he's made.
Mike [00:26:19]:
It could be that, but I think it goes to the tough skin when you guys say it. I take it literally, like, yo, oh, I'm trying to do self development. I can't be doing points when you guys say it. That's how I think. I'm like, yo, wait, what are you doing? You shouldn't be doing points. You should be doing self development thing. And it's like a retardation.
Katherine [00:26:39]:
No, that's very black and white thinking.
Eldar [00:26:41]:
It is black and white.
Katherine [00:26:42]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:26:42]:
You know all this.
Katherine [00:26:43]:
Yeah, I know that.
Phillip [00:26:44]:
I tend to do that, but it doesn't become real until we actually say something. So you actually have the ability, which.
Mike [00:26:50]:
But the criminal will always, when he gets highlighted, he'll always resort to the criminal thing. Like, okay, I'm guilty. Yeah, you always be like, I'm guilty. I'm guilty. Fine. Automatically fine. No, it doesn't have to be logical because the trauma or whatever or the past history that's developed over so many years, it comes in instantly. So I don't have a chance to think, is this person serious? I'm like, oh, I'm a criminal.
Mike [00:27:11]:
Of course I'm guilty here.
Eldar [00:27:12]:
Yeah, whatever you guys say.
Phillip [00:27:14]:
But in the moment, you're enjoying yourself. See, if you told me that in the moment that you were guilty and you knew that this wasn't right or you didn't like this, to me, you're only getting that guilt when somebody else points it out in you. So I think the bigger issue is that you have more of an attachment to what other people think about you when they label you versus the actual thing itself, because you are able to, I've saw it today, I've saw it multiple times. And you just said it was that you're able to, in the moment, enjoy it and you really like this part of yourself. You don't like labels and you don't like to be called this thing.
Eldar [00:27:47]:
That's for sure.
Phillip [00:27:48]:
You don't like this.
Mike [00:27:49]:
Well, the thing is probably because I haven't accepted myself actually consciously said, like, okay, I'm the points guy. This is what I do. This is what I like.
Eldar [00:27:56]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:27:57]:
Why do you always want to do early lunch?
Mike [00:27:59]:
Because I'm always hungry.
Eldar [00:28:03]:
Yeah.
Phillip [00:28:04]:
So I would say that you are.
Mike [00:28:07]:
Fine with the 100%, what you're saying.
Phillip [00:28:09]:
And that's fine because I think it's easier the way that you're talking about because some people aren't fine with it, and then they'll hide, and then they won't be able to do the actual thing. You're able to then put yourself in a position where you're able to have experience, you're able to have fun, and then all of a sudden, it comes to like, hey, Mike, I got to do this thing with points. You're the points guy, right? You're like, yo, what the fuck, man? I feel like you want to be the guy to then offer it, but when somebody else points it out, you don't like this because you want to come from the place of my understanding of, like, it's my thing. I have it, and it's like my little thing for myself. Once everybody else knows it, it becomes, like a known thing, and it's not cool and clever and you can't maneuver anymore.
Mike [00:28:50]:
I'm not sure. No, I don't mind it. I mind it when people make fun of me for it because I assume.
Phillip [00:28:56]:
It'S the same thing. Pointing it out, making fun. I'm calling it the same thing. I'm saying, highlighting it in whatever fashion, whether toy points it out as a joke or Kat actually genuinely asks, hey, I need help with points.
Eldar [00:29:07]:
You want to hide it.
Phillip [00:29:08]:
I think you have an issue with that person bringing that out. And then you're like, oh, shit, is that person seeing me for who I actually am? Like, oh, man, I got to hide more? You definitely do not like somebody calling you out on something good or bad. I don't think you like the label.
Katherine [00:29:26]:
Do you think it's possible that maybe Mike has, like, an association with a joke being something negative, like a point, something.
Phillip [00:29:35]:
No, we established that Mike's a jokester already, so he understands joke and how to give it. Okay, so he understands the concept of a joke, and then he's specific areas.
Mike [00:29:45]:
I don't take it as a joke because I think it's just part of it is I haven't accepted myself about it.
Eldar [00:29:51]:
That's right.
Mike [00:29:51]:
Maybe what Phil is saying, the label thing, I guess I think the label, to me automatically, it makes me feel like it's a bad.
Eldar [00:30:00]:
Yeah, yeah, we identified that recently.
Mike [00:30:02]:
It's like some kind of old association.
Eldar [00:30:04]:
That I have from the custom sandwich guy. What the fuck is wrong with that?
Mike [00:30:09]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:30:09]:
You know what I'm saying? But you're like, I'm not this fucking picky eater. That's what you called yourself. You associate yourself, like, a picky eater.
Mike [00:30:16]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:30:16]:
Okay, fine. Even if you're a picky eater, what's wrong with that? You have preferences, right? And you debunked that for yourself. I hope you know what I'm saying.
Mike [00:30:24]:
That I'm a picky eater.
Eldar [00:30:25]:
No, you debunked that. It's okay to be a fucking picky eater having particular preferences, okay, I did. Of course. You know what I'm saying? Because I think it's a good thing. Knowing what the fuck you like in life is a good thing. You know what I'm saying? Because you try to get it and it'll make you happy. There's a lot of people out there that don't know what the fuck they want.
Mike [00:30:44]:
I think what you're saying 100%, by just understanding that, knowing what you like, right? Like you could be doing something really bad and you could also enjoy it, right? Like a criminal, right?
Eldar [00:30:53]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:30:53]:
In the moment, he's doing criminal shit. He likes it, right? He's enjoying himself. But I guess I always did it and I did it like that, but now I'm like, hey, I'm a criminal. Let's say I'm enjoying myself, but I'm thinking like, yo, is this bad or is this good? I'm not having that conversation.
Eldar [00:31:08]:
You don't have the right associations.
Mike [00:31:10]:
Yes, but I'm like, I'm not doing anything wrong here. You know what?
Eldar [00:31:14]:
Let me stop you right there. Because the criminal, I'm not sure if he really is enjoying himself because I think he carries that little guilty conscious inside of him.
Mike [00:31:21]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:31:22]:
I'm not really sure if he's actually.
Mike [00:31:24]:
Well, yeah, I think you're right.
Eldar [00:31:25]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:31:26]:
So I'm still carrying that guilty conscious.
Eldar [00:31:28]:
Towards the things that actually okay to be fucking enjoying.
Mike [00:31:31]:
But why do you think that is? Because I haven't actually said, like, hey, well, doctor. To myself, easy answer. Well, yeah, that's a good answer, but yeah, that's his fucking thing.
Eldar [00:31:41]:
It's like, oh, we can't find a logical answer to the shit, so we're just going to label it.
Anatoliy [00:31:44]:
Dr. K, every time he says, that pisses me off.
Eldar [00:31:46]:
That pisses you off bad, right? Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:31:48]:
You don't like having a key to the moment.
Eldar [00:31:50]:
That's when he had a squirrel brain, but now he wants to actually define it. Okay, fine.
Anatoliy [00:31:54]:
Squirrel brain.
Eldar [00:31:57]:
Yeah. No, it is. You've conditioned yourself to feel a certain type of way, so your association is very confused. Like, yo, wait, am I?
Mike [00:32:06]:
That's what I'm saying.
Eldar [00:32:07]:
Guys, can you double check here? You know what I'm saying I'm very confused. For sure you're confused with this shit.
Mike [00:32:12]:
Because I never said, never define to myself who I actually am. Yeah, I think that's what causes it.
Eldar [00:32:18]:
Yeah. You never identify what things you like to do, what makes you feel good.
Mike [00:32:22]:
What makes you identify him. But I never said hey, out loud. I never said hey, I like this. This is who I am.
Eldar [00:32:27]:
Who.
Mike [00:32:27]:
Fuck off if you don't like.
Eldar [00:32:30]:
Also, maybe one other reason, maybe you're afraid of it is because it is limiting when you are being called out for one specific thing. Elda, you're the slick deals guy. Yeah, sure I am. But I'm more than that, right?
Mike [00:32:45]:
To me, I'm fucking look at it like that. I look at it as like the big picture, too.
Eldar [00:32:49]:
There you go.
Mike [00:32:50]:
Part of it.
Eldar [00:32:50]:
Yeah. See? Yes.
Mike [00:32:51]:
That's another part of it. I don't just look at it, Mike. You're like points if you say that. Oh, Mike, you're a horrible person in everything you do. You're just a terrible human being.
Eldar [00:32:59]:
That's what I'm saying.
Mike [00:33:00]:
That's the way I see it.
Eldar [00:33:01]:
Oh, sure, yes. But there's also Mike this, Mike that, Mike this, Mike that.
Mike [00:33:06]:
Because I probably never said to the good things to myself out loud. And the other things, the flawed things as well, that could be a big part of.
Eldar [00:33:14]:
Yeah, we should order a pizza right now.
Phillip [00:33:17]:
Just get it here so we can pick at it.
Eldar [00:33:18]:
Just get it over, Philip. No, no. You're the next one online. We're going to get to you, Philip. But it's not today. It's Mike's day today.
Mike [00:33:30]:
Holy shit, Philip. We just ate an hour ago.
Eldar [00:33:33]:
Philip doesn't understand what's coming to him. I didn't say this. Totally just said that. Yeah, I just read his mind and that's exactly what he said. Yes or no? Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:33:45]:
He just likes it.
Phillip [00:33:46]:
He's like giving it.
Eldar [00:33:46]:
No, I'll tell you, that's exactly what he's thinking.
Phillip [00:33:48]:
He likes giving it.
Eldar [00:33:49]:
Yeah, he likes giving it.
Anatoliy [00:33:50]:
He just said, can we just order a pizza so we can all pick out.
Mike [00:33:55]:
Are you still off the lunch? Kind of like buzing?
Phillip [00:33:58]:
No, I just say it's like something to pick at.
Mike [00:34:00]:
Just like something to do. A little Schmidugat.
Eldar [00:34:02]:
Schmidugans. I'm going to get you a shirt, Mike. It's going to say schmidugans.
Mike [00:34:07]:
That's for Phil and not for me. That's his word. He created that. Is that your word, Phil?
Eldar [00:34:16]:
Schmidugans?
Phillip [00:34:17]:
I associate it with you.
Mike [00:34:18]:
But I don't know if I thought you were the one who told me about it.
Phillip [00:34:21]:
You definitely say it a lot.
Mike [00:34:22]:
Yeah, because I learned it from you.
Phillip [00:34:23]:
But I like it.
Mike [00:34:24]:
Yeah, it's a good word.
Phillip [00:34:26]:
Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, if.
Mike [00:34:28]:
Everybody had a slice, nobody would make your life any. It wouldn't make it worse.
Eldar [00:34:31]:
No. Philip wants to hide. We're onto something here. And he wants to deter Mike from learning.
Mike [00:34:39]:
Holy shit. Damn, Phil.
Eldar [00:34:42]:
Phil. That's fucked conversation.
Anatoliy [00:34:46]:
Philip's like, should we just order a pie of pizza so we could just.
Eldar [00:34:49]:
All in the middle of a very important topic.
Anatoliy [00:34:51]:
Yeah.
Katherine [00:34:54]:
Priorities.
Phillip [00:34:55]:
I just wanted to accentuate the mood.
Eldar [00:34:58]:
He wants to confuse Mike and the confused land.
Mike [00:35:01]:
Yeah, it's a lot of different things. I have to probably write it down.
Eldar [00:35:04]:
Why? You're not going to forget?
Mike [00:35:06]:
No, because it's a lot being hard in yourself. Right. That's one.
Eldar [00:35:09]:
Yeah. You're not going to forget this.
Mike [00:35:11]:
Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot of different things.
Eldar [00:35:13]:
You can't forget something that you finally opened. The worms cannot go back in the can. It's impossible. You can forget it for the moment, but you always come back.
Phillip [00:35:23]:
I think the worms came out in Don Pepe's.
Eldar [00:35:25]:
You know why? Because the attitude will not allow it, Mike. You will always associate if it's the truth for you. The attitude, if it ever comes out, you will feel it. That's true. You know what? You can. But if you fixed it, then why do you have to remember? Yeah.
Mike [00:35:40]:
No, no. You know what I'm just thinking? Yeah, I was just thinking.
Eldar [00:35:45]:
You're trying to do fucking Nate's things. Yo, let me write this fucking quote down.
Mike [00:35:51]:
Yeah, that's true. Because it's still in my head. It's coming from a lot of different angles. I'm trying to make sense of which angle it's coming from.
Eldar [00:35:58]:
You understand what the general fucking.
Mike [00:36:00]:
Oh, I understood it for sure.
Eldar [00:36:01]:
Yeah. I think that's the most important thing.
Mike [00:36:05]:
Yeah. So you guys think that's the core of it?
Eldar [00:36:08]:
100%, yeah.
Mike [00:36:11]:
So how do I accept myself? Just say whatever comes to my head and just be okay?
Eldar [00:36:14]:
Well, no, I think that first you have to observe the reactions to it because I think you.
Mike [00:36:17]:
My own reactions to it or other people?
Eldar [00:36:19]:
Yeah. No, your reactions to it. Because we're the people, Mike. You gotta understand that we don't operate out of Mike's needs and wants. Hey, you know what I'm saying? We operate out of what we want. A lot of the times. Right. So what's going to happen is we're going to make jokes regardless, because the jokes are the jokes, and they're the same.
Eldar [00:36:35]:
How this usually works is. Right. If you start going around doing your thing and we start being ourselves, and you stop reacting the way you do, it'll naturally go away.
Mike [00:36:49]:
Yeah, I get that.
Eldar [00:36:50]:
That means you leveled up and you're on the tent faster. Because for us, the joking part. Right. I think that having a conversation about jokes, I think, is huge. It's very big. It's very important for a lot of people. They serve multipurpose, you know what I mean? Depending on who they're landing on and how they're landing on people. So you'll know your progress yourself, because we're going to be us.
Eldar [00:37:20]:
You think that you might understand something. You leveled up. We're going to have the same jokes come into your way, because this is just the way it works. Because we're going to forget this conversation and we're going to go back to regular programming. You know what I'm saying? And our regular programming is to point out certain things. That's just the way it is. Naturally. We're not going to be like, oh, yeah, we have to be more sensitive or more conscious about certain things that we say.
Eldar [00:37:43]:
No, it's going to be the same way. And we're going to try to. I think the friendship. This is where I think good friends come in. Is there the friends that push you past your boundaries and pass your limits are the good friends. And I think that we have that ability to do so to turn up that heat for you.
Mike [00:38:01]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:38:01]:
And you will discover all the shit I want.
Phillip [00:38:03]:
Unconditional love.
Eldar [00:38:04]:
Oh, sorry, Dennis. Oh, I'm sorry. Your name is Philip. You said.
Katherine [00:38:11]:
Stop making fun of me.
Eldar [00:38:13]:
I don't like you. Yeah.
Phillip [00:38:18]:
I think in those moments when you think you're having fun, I think deep down you know that it's wrong, and then we're actually pointing it out after. And that's when you get defensive, because you're not able to associate whether that's good or bad, and you're just on the same track as you've been because you haven't broke the pattern yet. So we're helping you break the pattern. You're being defensive about it, which makes sense, but eventually it's got to click. So to me, it's just a matter of time, but you have to get that association, and it's just a matter of, like, we're not going to cave, and we're not going to give in to your nonsense.
Eldar [00:38:51]:
Right.
Phillip [00:38:52]:
So it's just going to keep happening, and eventually you're going to have to get it.
Mike [00:38:55]:
Well, yeah, no, I get that.
Eldar [00:38:58]:
If you want to.
Mike [00:38:59]:
I do.
Eldar [00:38:59]:
There's plenty of people.
Mike [00:39:00]:
I do want to recognize the things.
Phillip [00:39:01]:
But he's saying he wants to do it. He's talking about his chances are crazy. Amount higher than the average person.
Eldar [00:39:10]:
People said a lot of things, Philip. Yeah, people say a lot of things, but the actions always speak louder than people. What people say. That's how I feel about this kind of shit. You know what I'm saying? It's obviously because Mike is right now centered. He calmed down, he's relaxed, he's in a good place. Somebody was like feeding him bird food today, you said, you know what I mean? Correct. So he's receptive.
Eldar [00:39:32]:
Let's see. Let's see if he's receptive tomorrow, 30 days from now, a year from now, two years from now. Everybody has their own little fuse to understand true love or compassion or understanding of friendship. And what it comes with is to not develop Alzheimer's on this kind of shit, you know what I'm saying? Whether or not he can upkeep it, that's up to him. You know what I'm saying? Story with Tolly'sister in him, same shit. Trying to do the same thing, like to raise awareness of what type of role he's trying to play in his sister's life right now. He's the bad guy for a long time. He's going to be the bad guy up until it switches.
Eldar [00:40:17]:
It's just like, oh, shit. He cares for me more than I care for myself, you know what I'm saying? And it keeps going and going, but it takes fucking. So you can't sell this shit, Philip. You know what I'm saying? As much as you want to, you can't sell it. It has to be sold on its own. Yeah, I get it. Yeah.
Mike [00:40:43]:
No, now that I understand it, I definitely want to uncover in all the ways that I don't accept myself. Obviously, that's going to take time.
Eldar [00:40:55]:
Well, I think that's where the key to your freedom is finally, where your true happiness lies. Irresistible self is what I told you about developing. Before you go out there and meet somebody who's going to be able to really meet you for you. And there's no more hiding, man.
Mike [00:41:16]:
Yeah. Before I can stop hiding from others, I have to stop hiding for myself.
Eldar [00:41:21]:
Correct.
Mike [00:41:22]:
But in order to know that, I have to know where I'm actually hiding. Where am I actually?
Eldar [00:41:26]:
Correct.
Phillip [00:41:26]:
We're pointing it out.
Mike [00:41:27]:
We're pointing out you guys forgot I'm the iceberg.
Eldar [00:41:31]:
Yeah, well, we didn't forget that Phil was coolest, bro. You know what I'm saying?
Mike [00:41:37]:
He's just thinking about pizza.
Anatoliy [00:41:38]:
He just said pizza spell, bro.
Eldar [00:41:40]:
You know what I mean? He doesn't even know he's under your spell.
Anatoliy [00:41:42]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:41:45]:
I took that place and set up the whole experience for you.
Eldar [00:41:50]:
He should do it. He should do it, Judah. But he likes it. He's enjoying himself.
Mike [00:41:56]:
That's the most important thing.
Phillip [00:41:57]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:41:58]:
No, I mean, I'm sure there's a lot more areas where I haven't accepted myself or I take myself too seriously or I'm too hard on myself.
Eldar [00:42:07]:
You need to tip it over more for yourself in order to be able to be more consistent with the attitude that you're trying to carry. And the faster you do that, the faster you'll enjoy yourself, I think, more overall, everywhere. Not just like we're around your boys, where you're making jokes and having fun, but everywhere. And I think that you're lucky enough to be surrounded around people that care enough in order to. What's his name? You made this request for me to be more real with you weeks ago, months ago. And I'm trying to be on that flow, but sometimes I still forget. But Tolly doesn't forget. He keeps it real.
Eldar [00:42:47]:
You know what I'm saying? He just naturally has it. And I think that finally, you guys learning how to speak your own language, this language, you know what I'm saying? Where you guys can be talking about this type of stuff very freely. Because I, a long time, like I said, for a while, has been receiving this information under the radar and I didn't care much about it. But because you asked, like, yeah, I pointed out more, you know what I mean? Maybe in your eyes I've been a little more harsh or whatever, but it's only because I've been trying to do that. But it's not as effortless. It doesn't come as effortless to me as it comes to Tolly, for example, because he sees right through it.
Mike [00:43:25]:
Me and Toli come from the same cloth. So he smells it faster.
Eldar [00:43:28]:
He smells it faster.
Anatoliy [00:43:30]:
Make that two pies, Philip.
Phillip [00:43:33]:
Yeah, I want like a mini, the.
Eldar [00:43:35]:
Mini pepperoni with the burnt crispy edges. Yeah. He's just a little boy.
Anatoliy [00:43:43]:
He's just a little boy. That's it.
Eldar [00:43:44]:
He had a lot of fun.
Mike [00:43:50]:
We took him for a ride on the horses. The mechanical horses and everything.
Eldar [00:43:53]:
Yeah, and everything.
Mike [00:43:54]:
We got him ice cream cone, some jelly beans.
Anatoliy [00:43:57]:
He can't complain right now. He's being like. You remember when you were training arch and you made that boundary for him? And Arch would always put it. There was, like, a door where Archie knew that he was not allowed to cross, like, a line. There was an actual line. Right. And when he's kind of being told to stay there, he would sit right in front of this line and put his face on the line so that only his nose and his whiskers are past it. And he would do that all the time.
Anatoliy [00:44:32]:
And he knew exactly what he was doing.
Katherine [00:44:34]:
To taunt.
Phillip [00:44:35]:
Yeah, my whiskers are definitely.
Eldar [00:44:36]:
Taunt the line. Right.
Anatoliy [00:44:37]:
Yeah, out of control.
Katherine [00:44:40]:
Just out of control.
Eldar [00:44:42]:
Right.
Phillip [00:44:43]:
Arch, this is a holiday weekend.
Eldar [00:44:46]:
You're on vacation right now, Philip.
Phillip [00:44:48]:
Oh, yeah.
Anatoliy [00:44:49]:
It started at lunch 100%.
Eldar [00:44:50]:
You checked out.
Phillip [00:44:51]:
It started well yesterday, and then I came in focused today. But what was yesterday? We did something fun.
Katherine [00:44:58]:
We did McDonald's.
Phillip [00:44:59]:
And then we did McDonald's. Yeah, we definitely.
Mike [00:45:02]:
Let's set it off.
Phillip [00:45:03]:
We went to Alabama yesterday.
Anatoliy [00:45:05]:
Alabama.
Phillip [00:45:06]:
We're in maggots and roasted octopus.
Anatoliy [00:45:10]:
Oh, my God.
Phillip [00:45:11]:
Paprika and cumin.
Eldar [00:45:12]:
You understand that we still have that in our stomachs? Probably. That's disgusting.
Katherine [00:45:15]:
That's going to be in your body for, like, three.
Anatoliy [00:45:17]:
Yeah. You know that I looked up at a place and somebody left a bad review, and they posted a picture of it. They ordered muscle. Sorry. Not mussels. Raw oysters from there.
Eldar [00:45:30]:
Oh, my God.
Anatoliy [00:45:30]:
And they said that there was a roach in the oysters.
Eldar [00:45:32]:
Get the fuck out of here.
Anatoliy [00:45:34]:
Yeah, someone posed.
Katherine [00:45:37]:
That's Ben.
Eldar [00:45:37]:
Makes me want to throw up right now. Are you kidding me?
Anatoliy [00:45:40]:
Imagine getting raw oysters from that place.
Phillip [00:45:43]:
Mike got some revenge in the toilet. Mike got bathroom revenge, though.
Eldar [00:45:48]:
Whoever's listening, you might be going to this place. So if you want to find out what the fuck this is, email us. Yeah, we'll tell you what it is. Holy shit.
Phillip [00:45:59]:
Yeah, it was definitely terrible, but going to McDonald's afterwards was excellent.
Anatoliy [00:46:03]:
It destroyed any of the bad stuff that we had prior.
Eldar [00:46:06]:
Right. We're not promoting McDonald's. A couple of chicken nuggets did not look like chicken nuggets. That's totally ordered.
Mike [00:46:11]:
Half the food was not.
Eldar [00:46:12]:
I saw the last chicken nugget that he didn't eat. Mike ended up eating it and wait.
Phillip [00:46:17]:
It didn't look so good.
Katherine [00:46:18]:
Did you see the color of your Big Mac?
Eldar [00:46:22]:
It was pale, but I was already pale. Since when I was feeling pale gray.
Katherine [00:46:28]:
That wasn't even like.
Eldar [00:46:30]:
It was disgusting gray. Yeah. But on record, I think the maggot. Nine big Macs in 6 hours, easy for $500. No, that's $500 from totally only.
Katherine [00:46:43]:
Okay.
Eldar [00:46:44]:
Some other people. Yeah. If people want to witness this, they have to put in more money.
Katherine [00:46:49]:
He probably has like, this weird.
Eldar [00:46:51]:
I don't know if he could do it. Philip, say something. Talk shit. Talk your shit. Put money on the line. Last time you lost money, by the way, I want to remind you, you almost committed suicide. You almost dropped the car off the cliff. You know what I'm saying?
Phillip [00:47:06]:
I'm just a young boy, so be very careful.
Anatoliy [00:47:10]:
You have to have one. And tell me how it feels afterwards. And think if he could have nine.
Phillip [00:47:14]:
And the next he's gone. I have to eat probably one to three big macs on my own. Gauge how my stomach feels.
Eldar [00:47:22]:
Yes.
Phillip [00:47:22]:
Then I can make a legit bet.
Eldar [00:47:24]:
I would be surprised. Call Nick right now and ask him what was the last time I lost a bet. He's going to tell you. 1996. Who's this? Nick?
Mike [00:47:30]:
Nick P. Jewish Nick? Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:47:34]:
Philip. If you have two, you're going to feel completely full.
Eldar [00:47:38]:
I'm going to crush.
Anatoliy [00:47:39]:
And he's saying he's going to have nine clothes.
Phillip [00:47:41]:
Well, I have to ask myself, can I eat more?
Mike [00:47:43]:
You guys don't understand. Elder is to be a big Mac king.
Phillip [00:47:45]:
No.
Eldar [00:47:47]:
And I'm going to tell you right now, Mike is 100% right. But this is the question. My favorite meal back in the day. No, but when I used to eat.
Katherine [00:47:54]:
That gray meat that you had, Big.
Eldar [00:47:56]:
Mac was my favorite meal.
Phillip [00:47:57]:
Yeah, but this is the question, though. If I pull the plug, can I eat more than you, is the question. So then when I'm going in, you.
Eldar [00:48:02]:
Can eat more than me?
Phillip [00:48:03]:
Yeah, when I pull the plug. That's what I'm asking myself. So if I have two or three.
Mike [00:48:09]:
I have to project what 6 hours.
Phillip [00:48:11]:
Would be, how I have it. And then I can say, okay, realistically.
Anatoliy [00:48:16]:
I don't think it was a challenge.
Eldar [00:48:21]:
Kind of tailgating bullshit.
Mike [00:48:22]:
Yeah. Driving around, eating fast food.
Anatoliy [00:48:25]:
No, but it wasn't a certain amount of.
Phillip [00:48:27]:
No, you were saying a video. I was saying, that's a lot. And then we were kind of calculating.
Mike [00:48:31]:
How much time we were coming up.
Eldar [00:48:32]:
With the nine big macs in 6 hours, bro. Easy.
Anatoliy [00:48:36]:
That's 18 pieces of bread and no more. Sorry. 27 pieces of bread and 18 pieces of that gray meat. And probably like a pillowcase size of lettuce.
Mike [00:48:52]:
What about sauce? And then squash big macs together. It's about. If you squash five big macs together, it's probably equivalent to one burger.
Anatoliy [00:48:59]:
No way.
Katherine [00:49:00]:
Would you throw it in the blender and then just drink it?
Mike [00:49:02]:
Oh my God, that's even worse.
Eldar [00:49:03]:
I would enjoy every single bite. I will enjoy.
Anatoliy [00:49:06]:
No, but I'm not going to have record.
Eldar [00:49:10]:
That's my juice.
Anatoliy [00:49:11]:
No, guys, I definitely wouldn't want to do that.
Eldar [00:49:13]:
I will have the max like this in front of you. Consume them.
Phillip [00:49:16]:
Consume every single I think to Mike's.
Eldar [00:49:18]:
And I'm going to enjoy every single.
Phillip [00:49:20]:
If you smash three into one. I think people do this with donuts. Like a five to one special.
Eldar [00:49:27]:
What is he watching?
Phillip [00:49:29]:
You don't watch.
Eldar [00:49:30]:
You guys are not asking the right questions at all here. What am I doing in between? Eating. Pooping. Well, think about it. What am I doing? Gardening. I'm getting hungry. How? How? First of all, it's 6 hours.
Katherine [00:49:43]:
So you would have four and a half for breakfast and then four and a half for lunch. In 6 hours.
Phillip [00:49:50]:
You're barely.
Anatoliy [00:49:52]:
If you have four and a half at twelve and then you would have to have four and a half at six or like right before it.
Katherine [00:49:57]:
And then you're not going to sleep.
Eldar [00:49:58]:
Imagine I'm swimming. Imagine I'm swimming in between. Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:50:01]:
I'm not going to be able to swim in between.
Eldar [00:50:03]:
Are you? Easy. I'm going to be able to swim right. In 2 hours.
Katherine [00:50:07]:
I would say go for a good walk after that.
Anatoliy [00:50:10]:
You're going to be a lifelong meeting.
Eldar [00:50:11]:
Probably easy. Are you kidding me? Put the money where your mouth is.
Phillip [00:50:16]:
I'd say 4 hours is probably more of the bet. Because 6 hours is a lot.
Eldar [00:50:22]:
Put up minimum.
Phillip [00:50:22]:
206 hours is a lot.
Katherine [00:50:25]:
He has some power, this guy.
Anatoliy [00:50:29]:
I'm not ruling out that he can't do it. I think it'd be hard. I think it'd be much harder than what he thinks. I think the time is because of the time. And bread.
Mike [00:50:38]:
Yeah. No, a lot of bread. Can't ask that question.
Katherine [00:50:40]:
No. That's horrible.
Eldar [00:50:41]:
You guys don't understand what's going to be in between. That's your problem.
Anatoliy [00:50:45]:
But have you ever ate something like a shit ton of it in one session and then have to eat that same thing again? Even if it's something like amazing, you enjoy it, but then eating it again that same day? You want nothing to do with that kind of food.
Phillip [00:50:59]:
If I crack the whole pie open, I don't want to eat it again in 6 hours.
Anatoliy [00:51:02]:
Oh, yeah.
Eldar [00:51:02]:
Imagine you want to eat it for a much. Do we pay Dennis to eat the pie? He couldn't do it. Oh, the artichoke.
Phillip [00:51:12]:
Oh, that's a tough pie.
Mike [00:51:13]:
Artichoke pie.
Eldar [00:51:15]:
I think it was regular pie at.
Anatoliy [00:51:18]:
Josh could not do the artichoke. He could easily eat four slices.
Phillip [00:51:21]:
No.
Anatoliy [00:51:22]:
Hell no.
Phillip [00:51:23]:
That four slices there is probably like.
Anatoliy [00:51:24]:
Pie and a half more because of the milk.
Phillip [00:51:29]:
I say each slice is probably three to four regular slices.
Anatoliy [00:51:32]:
Yeah, probably four. Plus having a glass of milk on top of it.
Eldar [00:51:36]:
There you go.
Mike [00:51:37]:
So you guys going to put the money?
Anatoliy [00:51:41]:
I don't want to put all that kind of torture.
Mike [00:51:44]:
I know he's going to do it. Why would I waste my money?
Eldar [00:51:46]:
Exactly.
Mike [00:51:47]:
It's not that serious. It's not serious anybody.
Anatoliy [00:51:51]:
You could do it too, Mike.
Eldar [00:51:52]:
Do it.
Mike [00:51:52]:
I could do it, but right now I don't want to do it in your business, but I could.
Eldar [00:51:55]:
Yeah, sure.
Katherine [00:51:56]:
How many could you eat on like.
Eldar [00:51:58]:
Just two to three, easy.
Katherine [00:51:59]:
You could eat three of those things easy. Really?
Mike [00:52:02]:
The fries are much more filling than the baby.
Eldar [00:52:04]:
They're baby burgers, baby.
Mike [00:52:06]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:52:06]:
They're sliders and they taste so good.
Mike [00:52:08]:
They're baby sliders.
Katherine [00:52:09]:
They're great sliders.
Phillip [00:52:11]:
You wouldn't smush them together?
Eldar [00:52:14]:
No, I'm going to enjoy them.
Mike [00:52:16]:
They're delicious.
Eldar [00:52:17]:
They're delicious, bro. I'll eat three without blinking.
Katherine [00:52:22]:
People are going to be so confused about this conversation.
Eldar [00:52:25]:
Are we sponsored by three without blinking?
Phillip [00:52:27]:
Do you ever watch the guys at Nathan's hot dog that they smush them together and they dip them in the water?
Mike [00:52:32]:
No, this is not where this is strategy.
Eldar [00:52:33]:
If you said 15 or 20 big macs, that's a different story. But could you do 15 if you had to? Can you do 50 hot dogs?
Anatoliy [00:52:40]:
Oh, I could definitely do the 50.
Mike [00:52:42]:
Hot dog.
Anatoliy [00:52:42]:
No, 15.
Eldar [00:52:43]:
I thought you said 5015.
Mike [00:52:45]:
And how long?
Eldar [00:52:47]:
6 hours here.
Mike [00:52:50]:
Confidently.
Eldar [00:52:53]:
You took a shit. Definitely do it. He said the words, I could definitely raise your hand. I've never.
Katherine [00:52:59]:
You even raised your hand.
Mike [00:53:06]:
I'll do one.
Eldar [00:53:07]:
6 hours. No.
Phillip [00:53:10]:
Hot dog is not.
Eldar [00:53:11]:
Wait. Talking about Big Mac.
Phillip [00:53:13]:
No, he said hot dog.
Katherine [00:53:14]:
Hot dog.
Eldar [00:53:14]:
Hot dog, hot dog.
Phillip [00:53:15]:
Different. 15 and 2 hours.
Eldar [00:53:21]:
15.
Phillip [00:53:22]:
2 hours is the right amount of time.
Eldar [00:53:24]:
You could do it. 15 and 2 hours.
Anatoliy [00:53:26]:
I don't know.
Mike [00:53:26]:
About 2 hours.
Phillip [00:53:27]:
I was thinking, no, six is easy.
Anatoliy [00:53:29]:
100%.
Eldar [00:53:29]:
He does it. Six easy.
Mike [00:53:31]:
Hot dogs are easy.
Eldar [00:53:32]:
Yeah. You could do five.
Phillip [00:53:33]:
You can dip them with the bread.
Eldar [00:53:34]:
You can do the hot dog.
Anatoliy [00:53:35]:
I can do five in the first under 10 minutes.
Phillip [00:53:39]:
How much?
Mike [00:53:39]:
Oh, yeah. Five and 10 minutes.
Phillip [00:53:40]:
You can do five and 10 minutes?
Eldar [00:53:41]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:53:42]:
100%.
Eldar [00:53:43]:
You think you do this? Whoa.
Phillip [00:53:45]:
You can think you can do five in 10 minutes?
Eldar [00:53:48]:
Yeah.
Mike [00:53:49]:
He's a killer, bro.
Anatoliy [00:53:50]:
You can do it. Eldar can do it, too.
Eldar [00:53:52]:
So can Mike.
Phillip [00:53:54]:
You can do five hot dogs in 10 minutes.
Anatoliy [00:53:56]:
Mike will be juggling in one hand.
Mike [00:53:58]:
While he hot dogs, like, once in a while.
Eldar [00:54:00]:
First hot dog disappears under 1 minute. Yeah.
Phillip [00:54:03]:
That's understandable.
Mike [00:54:04]:
First two to three go get disappeared. The two to three disappeared two or 3 minutes.
Phillip [00:54:08]:
But you like Joey chestnutting them and, like, fucking putting, dipping them.
Anatoliy [00:54:12]:
If I got to do five in 10 minutes, I'm going to have them fast. Yeah. The first four will go down easy, and the fifth one will just be a little bit of, like, a challenge. But I'll get a dog, especially if.
Mike [00:54:26]:
You have ketchup, mustard, relish, relish, sauerkraut.
Katherine [00:54:30]:
Relish.
Eldar [00:54:31]:
Relish. Mike.
Mike [00:54:35]:
Yes.
Eldar [00:54:35]:
So do we do a good job on this or no?
Mike [00:54:39]:
Yeah. Anything else? I'm asking you guys if I'm missing.
Eldar [00:54:44]:
Anything else, because I'm not.
Phillip [00:54:47]:
Well, we have nothing in the snack draw.
Mike [00:54:53]:
I don't know anything else. I'm the. What's it called? Patient here. I'm not asking the doctor, like, yo, did you put the thing in or no.
Eldar [00:55:00]:
Well, no. I think that if you're saying this is very important for you, and if you really want to see how it comes out, time will tell.
Mike [00:55:09]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:55:09]:
I definitely view this as, like, this is the biggest thing for you.
Eldar [00:55:12]:
Wow.
Katherine [00:55:12]:
Awareness. Paying attention to it.
Eldar [00:55:15]:
You didn't think that?
Mike [00:55:17]:
No, I knew there was something big that was off. I just didn't know what.
Katherine [00:55:22]:
I knew something was wrong.
Mike [00:55:23]:
Knew something was wrong? No, I mean, I didn't know how deep this thing is. I knew the thing about not even a secret joke was bad, but I didn't know that everything else that came with it, how bad it was.
Anatoliy [00:55:37]:
This, to me, is, like, number one on the radar for you. There's not a close second.
Katherine [00:55:42]:
Remember when you told me to tell Rebecca? This is years ago. Tell Rebecca? How do you not take things personal?
Eldar [00:55:49]:
Yeah. She said you're not up to that level yet.
Katherine [00:55:52]:
She was like, whoa, whoa. We're a work in progress here. Trying to get you out of depression right now. Yeah.
Eldar [00:55:59]:
No. Yeah.
Katherine [00:56:00]:
That's a big one.
Eldar [00:56:01]:
It is a big one. Yeah.
Mike [00:56:02]:
It's a substance is a huge thing.
Katherine [00:56:04]:
Huge.
Mike [00:56:04]:
Yeah.
Eldar [00:56:06]:
Because you got to understand that when you go into a relationship. What are you trying to have? You're trying to have fun. You're trying to just extend what you're already doing.
Katherine [00:56:14]:
Have fun. But also, you want to be accepted for who you are. But before that, you have to accept.
Eldar [00:56:20]:
You got to make sure you know that your shit don't stink.
Mike [00:56:23]:
Fucking shit up tonight, Phil.
Katherine [00:56:25]:
Yeah. Mike is fucking shit up. He's ready.
Eldar [00:56:30]:
That's what I want to hear. I want to hear. I want to go buzz. And I'm okay with it. I'm not ashamed with it. That's what he's saying right now. I want to go buz. And that's okay.
Mike [00:56:38]:
I don't want to hide anymore.
Eldar [00:56:39]:
I can feed off that energy. Yeah, I can feed off that.
Katherine [00:56:43]:
That's good energy. Like, I know who I am.
Eldar [00:56:46]:
Yeah, I'm going to do it. That's awesome.
Katherine [00:56:47]:
I'm going to live.
Eldar [00:56:48]:
You know what I'm saying?
Katherine [00:56:49]:
How I want to live.
Eldar [00:56:50]:
You know, I always tag along unless the wife says, no soup dumps. Then there's another soup dumps.
Katherine [00:56:59]:
Oh, wait, so we're talking about food?
Eldar [00:57:00]:
I thought we were talking about food at all. Dancing. What a weirdo. We still can't wait to see Nate dance.
Mike [00:57:08]:
Remember that fucking thing he said he got sick.
Eldar [00:57:10]:
He said he's got moves, bro. Yeah, we never took him out. Can you believe that shit? All these years that we.
Mike [00:57:15]:
He seemed through the cracks.
Anatoliy [00:57:19]:
Are we done now with Phil? Are we going to the next topic?
Mike [00:57:24]:
What's up with. He's trying to ruin the.
Eldar [00:57:31]:
Thing.
Phillip [00:57:31]:
He wants food also. Is that what you're saying?
Eldar [00:57:34]:
No, it sounds like we're done with Mike's stuff. Mike said he's like, he's good.
Phillip [00:57:39]:
What are you trying to say, sir?
Eldar [00:57:40]:
You're trying to say something.
Anatoliy [00:57:42]:
Well, no, you had another topic. Say what you want topic.
Eldar [00:57:45]:
Say what you want.
Mike [00:57:46]:
He's saying he doesn't want to go to the party, but he wants to.
Katherine [00:57:50]:
He wants to go to the pre party.
Anatoliy [00:57:52]:
He's itching to say something.
Katherine [00:57:53]:
Yeah, totally.
Mike [00:57:56]:
Part of being yourself is not asking, is just saying, like, what you want to say.
Anatoliy [00:58:00]:
I wasn't sure if we're going to kill everybody.
Eldar [00:58:05]:
No, totally. I think Mike's good. Yeah, Mike's good. We're going to find out a period here.
Mike [00:58:09]:
We're going to find out.
Eldar [00:58:10]:
But look at that shit. Under 1 hour. What you got?
Katherine [00:58:13]:
That's a good topic.
Anatoliy [00:58:14]:
Well, I definitely thought that one topic was interesting that we were talking about. But I also have another topic or two.
Eldar [00:58:28]:
We got to put them on.
Anatoliy [00:58:29]:
The one thing I heard thing I told you this, right? I was flipping through burgers, YouTube shorts.
Eldar [00:58:39]:
Okay.
Anatoliy [00:58:39]:
And I don't know what podcast it was, but there was some podcast of some guys, and the lead guy was talking about how he was like, yo, people who are struggling, he goes, like, you ask them, like, they got it.
Eldar [00:58:51]:
All figured out, but they're stuck. Right?
Anatoliy [00:58:54]:
So he said that people who are the most stuck, there's not one question that you can ask them that they know the answer to. He just found it. He found it to be, like a sick phenomenon that the people that are the most stuck. Right. Have all the answers.
Mike [00:59:18]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [00:59:18]:
He goes like, these people, they don't ask not one question. You could ask them anything. They're going to help you with everything. They have every answer to everything. But they're the most, like, they're the most stuck.
Mike [00:59:30]:
When you say that, I remember. Wrote it on the board over here. People are doing as much they can in order to not face themselves. And I think that's part of it. They have to always say they know because the fear of saying they don't know is so scary because their whole shit will crumble. And I think that's the camp that it's coming from. So people really are scared. Maybe they are not conscious scared, but they don't want to face what's actually happening.
Mike [01:00:00]:
So they cannot say they don't know, because then there's an opportunity for something to sneak in that's going to flip their whole life upside down. Yeah, that's what just came to mind.
Anatoliy [01:00:13]:
I saw one more thing. It was also, like, another clip, and it was talking about, how do we solve that?
Eldar [01:00:18]:
What Mike just solved?
Anatoliy [01:00:20]:
No, I thought that we're considering what to speak about.
Eldar [01:00:24]:
Oh, you just want to put either.
Anatoliy [01:00:26]:
That or I saw another thing about this one guy was saying that people have a hard time distinguishing in their own lives whether they're surviving or thriving, and they confuse the two. Like, some people could be surviving and thinking that they're to.
Mike [01:00:46]:
I just want to say I'm not a Rolex flipper anymore.
Anatoliy [01:00:50]:
You're not what?
Eldar [01:00:52]:
No, you have to complete mine.
Mike [01:00:54]:
I'll do yours.
Anatoliy [01:00:55]:
That one after that.
Mike [01:00:58]:
I'm not a Rolex lover anymore.
Anatoliy [01:00:59]:
But you do like.
Mike [01:01:00]:
I do like Rolexes.
Eldar [01:01:01]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:01:01]:
I'm not sure if I want to still buy one, but I have to think about it more. But I'm not a fan.
Anatoliy [01:01:05]:
We got to start with, like, a fake.
Mike [01:01:07]:
No, I don't know about that yet.
Anatoliy [01:01:10]:
Why not?
Mike [01:01:14]:
I haven't thought about it yet.
Eldar [01:01:16]:
Yeah. What did you say, what the fuck? The fuck you mean? How the fuck does a person who's surviving thinks he's thriving? That makes sense. Any sense. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:01:27]:
So this guy was saying that in.
Mike [01:01:29]:
The moment, maybe, but when you go home and you look at your bank account, son, or whatever, you're looking at it, you're going to be like, yo, shit is fucked up.
Eldar [01:01:38]:
What, impression?
Mike [01:01:39]:
No, in a moment to moment, maybe, but not in a real.
Anatoliy [01:01:42]:
Yeah, in general, people are living. No, I'm saying that in general, people could be living their lives and they're just survived. I'm not talking about just monetarily. I'm talking about in a general, everything is hanging by, like, a thread, but they think that they're thriving.
Mike [01:02:04]:
The money was just an example. Yeah, but it happens in all places.
Eldar [01:02:08]:
What? Give me an example of that.
Mike [01:02:10]:
No, the money one is easy. You go out, you fucking buy expensive shit you can't afford, and then the fucking bill comes. And that's reality. Sure, but that happens in a lot of places in their life, I think.
Eldar [01:02:20]:
How can you give me those examples? Because material.
Mike [01:02:23]:
Yeah. In moment to moment, you think everything's okay because you keep those thoughts, like, in the back. You don't think about the shit that's actually happening.
Eldar [01:02:33]:
But how did you distract yourself of this?
Mike [01:02:35]:
Distractions how? Sick person.
Eldar [01:02:40]:
Okay, so are you talking about a person who's like, fuck, a DJ. I'll say it. Like, DJ?
Mike [01:02:49]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:02:50]:
Like the people who tell you, hey, everything's so good.
Mike [01:02:53]:
The people who tell you one story, but how do you go lucky people like those types?
Anatoliy [01:02:57]:
No, it doesn't necessarily like DJ's story.
Mike [01:03:00]:
The what he told you, he didn't take it seriously at all. My man is facing 20, right?
Eldar [01:03:04]:
Yeah, or whatever.
Mike [01:03:05]:
For him, he didn't take it at all seriously. He's putting the blame on another person, thinking that somebody else's fault. I think that's the behavior where not taking accountability for your own actions then leads to this kind of shit.
Eldar [01:03:21]:
By the way, dismissed. He's good.
Mike [01:03:23]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:03:25]:
This is what's coming to top of mind for me. But I'm not sure if it's actually it, but we can examine, for example, someone that works a crazy amount but has some nice things, for example, to show for. Yeah. To have. Maybe they have a really big house, for example. Maybe they have a nice sports car or something, right. But they work nonstop and they don't have time for a bunch of things when it comes to family or friends related, for example, or own self preservation. And they might think that they're thriving in the way that they've bought some stuff or acquired some stuff, but the reality is that they're just surviving because they're having to work so much and not really do anything to upkeep.
Eldar [01:04:21]:
An example of Andre?
Mike [01:04:24]:
Yeah. No. Yeah. I don't have a good example of it, but I think most people right in moment to moment, they're happy.
Eldar [01:04:35]:
No.
Mike [01:04:36]:
You don't think they're happy, right?
Eldar [01:04:37]:
No, I really don't think so. I think the moment to moment is the reason why moment to moment appears to be happy is because the image has to be preserved.
Mike [01:04:45]:
But in their own head, they think they're happy when they're preserving that image, whether it's.
Eldar [01:04:50]:
Don't think so.
Mike [01:04:50]:
You don't think so?
Eldar [01:04:51]:
I don't think so. I don't think so. Because we have moments, you think they.
Mike [01:04:54]:
Know it's fucked up?
Eldar [01:04:56]:
We have more solitary moments than we have socially. Yes or no? Yeah, for sure. Can't trick yourself, man. I really don't think you could trick yourself, man.
Mike [01:05:08]:
But you can keep yourself busy enough not to see what's happening.
Eldar [01:05:10]:
Fine.
Mike [01:05:13]:
Everybody does that.
Eldar [01:05:14]:
But that's not thinking that you're good, bro. You don't think in those moments that you're good?
Mike [01:05:19]:
You're not consciously thinking about it.
Eldar [01:05:20]:
That's what I'm saying.
Mike [01:05:21]:
You're ignorantly thinking about it.
Eldar [01:05:22]:
Yes.
Katherine [01:05:23]:
Actually, you might actually be very aware that you're not good. So you distract so you don't have to attend to it.
Eldar [01:05:28]:
It's a very calculated effort to fucking mask something. But I really think that those people do know what the fuck's going on.
Mike [01:05:33]:
They don't want to look in the pandora.
Eldar [01:05:35]:
Yeah, don't mark.
Katherine [01:05:35]:
No way.
Eldar [01:05:36]:
And in front of other people, they presented like, yo, I did this. I did that. Accomplishments. I bought this. I have a good job. Yada, yada, yada. But the reason why you have to. I mean, obviously, I hear this all the time, right? Oh, my job.
Eldar [01:05:48]:
I only drive 10 minutes away, or I can park my car here and I'm right there. I hear these justifications. When I hear those justifications, I know why they're justifying it in the first.
Mike [01:05:58]:
Yeah, they have to tell you the little wins, because overall, the l is fucked up.
Eldar [01:06:02]:
The shit is fucked up. So it's like, hey, but at least this works.
Mike [01:06:06]:
But what about if the people who look at the cup half empty, not half full?
Eldar [01:06:11]:
What does that mean?
Mike [01:06:13]:
It's bullshit. That's what it means. People not looking at it, like, first.
Eldar [01:06:18]:
Of all, why is Penn sleeping? Wake her up.
Mike [01:06:21]:
And Phil is awake. Penny, what the fuck is happening? It's upside down.
Eldar [01:06:24]:
Yeah, it's upside down. Penn sleeping, and you're awake. Phil, wake her up. She needs to wake up.
Mike [01:06:32]:
You guys tired her out today at the hike, at the walk.
Eldar [01:06:34]:
Yeah, with Tom. Totally. You didn't say anything.
Anatoliy [01:06:37]:
Yeah, give us a devil's advocate approach or something.
Eldar [01:06:42]:
Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:06:42]:
No, I was just more saying.
Eldar [01:06:45]:
There'S.
Anatoliy [01:06:45]:
People who are surviving in that kind of way, but I think that they're under the impression that they're thriving.
Eldar [01:06:51]:
What's the question? Or what's the challenge here?
Mike [01:06:53]:
Yeah, I see what you're saying, but I think it's, like, a good example is people who have in their marriages, right. They think they have a good relationship, but their shit is terrible. It's another example where, yeah, everybody's in the pressure. I have a great marriage. I love my wife. We love each other. But the gigs up, it's not the case.
Eldar [01:07:11]:
Well, I think it's just, generally speaking, people have a hard time calling things for what they are. As soon as you start calling things for what they are, I think it becomes a lot more freeing, and then you start thriving.
Anatoliy [01:07:24]:
Well, not even that. I think that a lot of people have accepted things that should not be accepted as, okay, fine, they could have generally, a decent relationship, but a couple of times they hit each other, or they have a good relationship, or they'll do something bad or something like that. People have normalized that, and they view as things as, like, things are great, but things are actually just on survival mode.
Eldar [01:07:56]:
Yeah. Okay, right.
Mike [01:07:59]:
Yeah. But what is that? What would you call that? Like, ignorance?
Anatoliy [01:08:04]:
I think it's a lack of understanding what actually something good looks like.
Eldar [01:08:09]:
To begin with, the bar was set by the individual. Yeah.
Anatoliy [01:08:16]:
The bars are very low, and as people are not able to accomplish what they want to accomplish, they set the bar lower and lower and lower. So normalizing crazy shit becomes more like a normal.
Mike [01:08:32]:
Yeah.
Eldar [01:08:33]:
Right.
Anatoliy [01:08:36]:
Like, if our families battle internally or yell at each other or talk nasty to each other. Right.
Eldar [01:08:43]:
Classic example.
Anatoliy [01:08:44]:
They've created that into, like, this is completely fine. Like, hey, we love each other, but.
Eldar [01:08:49]:
When I say to my mom, you guys constantly fighting with my dad. But they're on good terms for that moment, like, yo, we never fight. What are you talking about? We love each other very much.
Katherine [01:08:56]:
Yeah, it's crazy.
Eldar [01:08:57]:
That's a crazy phenomenon.
Mike [01:08:59]:
Yeah, that's the craziness about it in the moment, everything, when it's good. They don't see what's actually happening. When it's bad, then they see what's happening.
Eldar [01:09:06]:
Correct.
Anatoliy [01:09:07]:
Yeah. Like the normalization of disrespect and acting nasty towards each other in my family. That's textbook.
Eldar [01:09:14]:
Yeah, same here.
Mike [01:09:15]:
Yeah, me too.
Eldar [01:09:16]:
Same here.
Anatoliy [01:09:16]:
So they view that as like, that's just part of the gig. Like, a couple of times you're going to snap at each other, but overall, shit's all right.
Katherine [01:09:24]:
Or how about the concept? One thing that I love is, hi. I don't know what happened. One thing that I love is like, oh, marriage is hard. Relationships are hard. It's that idea that you're saying it's.
Eldar [01:09:38]:
The easiest thing in the world.
Katherine [01:09:40]:
It's natural for them to almost.
Anatoliy [01:09:42]:
No, I think they're saying that it's hard because by saying that it's hard, they're saying that being an asshole in relationships is okay.
Eldar [01:09:52]:
Right.
Katherine [01:09:54]:
No, I think it's really negative. I think that most people don't have maybe probably, like, a healthy concept of what a good relationship is, or anyone think that. So they're like, oh, yeah, shit is hard.
Anatoliy [01:10:06]:
No, I think that they say that it's hard because they don't have a way of doing of what they view as having a good relationship is. And because of that, they say it's hard. They need to, themselves normalize that. Like, hey, we act nasty towards each other. That's completely normal. Actually having a good relationship, really hard.
Katherine [01:10:25]:
Are you saying.
Anatoliy [01:10:25]:
Because we can all do that, but.
Mike [01:10:28]:
That'S because people are using standards that are not actually rooted in anything. They're just like, yeah, well, they just feel that there's no bar to compare.
Katherine [01:10:36]:
People are having lousy relationships and then just kind of believing that this is the standard for them.
Anatoliy [01:10:41]:
Yeah. They don't feel that having a good relationship is attainable, which is why they need to preface this by like, hey, this is hard to make. You also say, like, hey, you know what? It's hard. So talking that to each Other sometimes is completely fine because not doing that.
Eldar [01:10:58]:
Is way too hard. Yeah, sure.
Anatoliy [01:11:03]:
They say that it's hard to minimize their bad doings by saying, calling something difficult, you minimize your inability to do something.
Eldar [01:11:13]:
Right. Yeah.
Mike [01:11:14]:
You say, like, well, it's hard so that I can't be blamed for not doing my part or not.
Katherine [01:11:17]:
No, you justify your position.
Mike [01:11:21]:
It's too difficult. So I'm going to do my best. What you think is your best?
Anatoliy [01:11:24]:
Yeah, you normalize shit. Yeah, you more normalize bad by it's a cop out.
Katherine [01:11:29]:
It's a cop out. To not make an effort. To not put in the work. To not make it work out.
Mike [01:11:35]:
Phil, why are you sitting there all quiet with a guilty conscience?
Eldar [01:11:38]:
Oh, my God. Did you eat the pie?
Anatoliy [01:11:41]:
How many slices have you had? Just a big listening voice today.
Mike [01:11:45]:
Good.
Phillip [01:11:47]:
I don't have anything like, personally, that I'm just kind of listening to what everybody's saying.
Anatoliy [01:11:51]:
I just realized just now to know why. I just realized that Philip looks very close to Kobe Covington.
Eldar [01:11:57]:
I don't see it at all.
Mike [01:12:01]:
Look to the side.
Eldar [01:12:02]:
Go to the side.
Mike [01:12:04]:
Yeah, look to the side, maybe.
Eldar [01:12:05]:
Really? Yeah. I have to google it now.
Anatoliy [01:12:08]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:12:09]:
Kobe Covington, the UFC fighter?
Eldar [01:12:11]:
Yeah.
Phillip [01:12:11]:
He likes Donald Trump.
Eldar [01:12:14]:
This is true.
Anatoliy [01:12:15]:
And he owns a part of that gun range we went to.
Eldar [01:12:17]:
Does he?
Anatoliy [01:12:19]:
Probably.
Eldar [01:12:22]:
I don't see it.
Anatoliy [01:12:23]:
No, I definitely see it.
Mike [01:12:25]:
Yeah, no, I don't see it.
Eldar [01:12:26]:
Either.
Mike [01:12:29]:
From the front or from the side.
Eldar [01:12:30]:
Wait, is he getting a title shot next? Yeah, looks like Nate. No.
Mike [01:12:34]:
Yeah. Really? How much whiskey have you had, Toby?
Anatoliy [01:12:43]:
No.
Eldar [01:12:52]:
All right, guys, what are the final thoughts on the second topic or whatever?
Katherine [01:13:00]:
I'm in agreement. I agree with everything that was brought up regarding acceptance. And what was that point that I remember really liking that Tilly brought something up. I don't remember. No, I feel like I gave my thoughts and. No, I thought it was a great topic.
Mike [01:13:23]:
Mike, talk to us.
Eldar [01:13:26]:
You wanted this topic.
Mike [01:13:27]:
Yeah, no, I did.
Eldar [01:13:29]:
We talked about it. I think we did really good.
Mike [01:13:32]:
Yeah. And Dennis will be pretty concise. Really happy that it'll be very short.
Eldar [01:13:37]:
Why you say like that?
Anatoliy [01:13:38]:
Oh, my God.
Mike [01:13:39]:
So he suffer less listening to us.
Anatoliy [01:13:41]:
Oh, my. Did we get a trailer for last week or.
Mike [01:13:43]:
No, there was no trailer. Oh, there was, but it wasn't like a.
Eldar [01:13:47]:
We did a previous old one. The old one. Because this one's too big and I don't think there's enough time to do it. So we'll upload it for next week.
Mike [01:13:55]:
It's going to be a banger.
Eldar [01:13:57]:
Yeah.
Mike [01:14:02]:
It's interesting. I never really understood how deep the well is on this topic for me. So now I'm curious to kind of explore the areas where I'm doing things. And now I'm not accepting myself when people know about it. Let's say that. So I want to see and make an effort to bring those to light and not have to hide about them.
Eldar [01:14:26]:
Okay.
Katherine [01:14:27]:
I thought of something that I wanted to say.
Eldar [01:14:28]:
Okay, please, final thoughts. By the way, now you're, like, holding the line.
Katherine [01:14:33]:
Final thoughts is my favorite part of the. I just wanted to say one more thing on this topic and on you having the self awareness to observe yourself a little bit more in this light, the change will happen, but that takes time. So be patient because also I'm very impatient as well.
Mike [01:14:54]:
Adds to the frustration, not accept that right away.
Katherine [01:14:56]:
Yeah, but you have to just the.
Mike [01:14:59]:
Patience is a big thing that ties into all this. For sure.
Katherine [01:15:02]:
Change, it never happens.
Mike [01:15:03]:
Yeah, you're right.
Eldar [01:15:04]:
For sure.
Katherine [01:15:05]:
And with that, you guys can continue. Mike, finished?
Anatoliy [01:15:11]:
Yeah, I think it's definitely interesting thing, and I definitely think that we can definitely help you with it, but I definitely think that this is like MVP.
Eldar [01:15:24]:
Of the team role. Wow.
Anatoliy [01:15:27]:
This is definitely not just like a corner shooter or like an off ball defender.
Mike [01:15:33]:
MVP is who?
Anatoliy [01:15:34]:
The most valuable player.
Mike [01:15:35]:
No, I know that, but how does that relate to the thing I didn't get to?
Eldar [01:15:38]:
He's talking about the fact that you can't take a joke and you're taking stuff too seriously. Big thing.
Anatoliy [01:15:44]:
I think that stems to a few other things that are huge, essential in you having the relationship that you're looking to have.
Eldar [01:15:55]:
Listen, we're going back to episode number one with this, right. And ultimately it comes down to the ability to have fun. It sounds like you were trying to have fun for a very long time in private, under the radar, and not accepting of having fun. Right. Or not allowing other people to see that you're having fun because you wanted to cover something else. Scared to be judged. Yeah. And that's why the first podcast was do self conscious people have fun in private.
Eldar [01:16:33]:
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And I think it pertains to you, Mike. You know what I mean? Because of the fact that you haven't accepted yourself for who you are in certain aspects of yourself. So you constantly want to strive towards being self righteous or perfect, and that's what's holding you away from actually having the fun and enjoying yourself fully. You know what I mean? I think that you probably totally said it right. I think it's probably one of the most important things for you. Because if you can crack this one, and then you can have calculated fun consciously, with proper intent, I think you can fuck some shit up for yourself and really tap into happiness for yourself. And then I think this thing right here, you can then take and then fulfill and bring closer to the ultimate goal that you have, which is to fall in love and share that which you know with someone else.
Eldar [01:17:30]:
And you're going to be able to stand on its whole and strong with confidence.
Anatoliy [01:17:35]:
Yeah, I think that's the biggest.
Eldar [01:17:39]:
The fuck, man? Why are you interrupting me?
Anatoliy [01:17:41]:
No, I'm like the hype man in the background of like, America.
Eldar [01:17:44]:
But you're trying to steal my shine. Yeah, you're trying to steal my shine here, man. Elders. I'm speaking when elders are speaking, bro. Everybody's fucking silent.
Anatoliy [01:17:50]:
Yeah, but you don't have the watch on. I'm sorry.
Mike [01:17:53]:
You fucked up on the first date.
Eldar [01:17:55]:
I forgot. You know what? I'm going to finish my final thoughts with watch.
Anatoliy [01:17:58]:
Yeah, so that's why the disrespect was warranted.
Katherine [01:18:01]:
But he had it on this one.
Anatoliy [01:18:03]:
Like, if he was sitting around with a nice watch, then that would be different.
Eldar [01:18:06]:
Holy shit. Hold on 1 second. Phil, calm down, please. Yeah, and if it's right now, please.
Anatoliy [01:18:10]:
Don'T look at him when he's putting it on. Yes. Not allowed to look him in the eyes.
Eldar [01:18:14]:
You know what I'm saying?
Katherine [01:18:15]:
Guys, is it me or is it like, hot?
Mike [01:18:17]:
It's hot in here. Hot here a little bit.
Eldar [01:18:21]:
So what I'm trying to say is I fucking put it on backwards.
Mike [01:18:25]:
You're done.
Eldar [01:18:30]:
All right. What I'm trying to say, mike, is that I think know if you can crack this one for yourself and finally liberate yourself from it, I think you can liberate somebody else with it as well. And that's going to be a beautiful sight because ultimately you're going to be converting them to micism. And I can't wait to see it. I hope they speak English and I hope they're not a waitress.
Mike [01:18:59]:
Why not? Those are my final thoughts.
Katherine [01:19:02]:
Ideal smile.
Mike [01:19:05]:
Philip, you have anything good to say or just some ramblings?
Phillip [01:19:13]:
So Mike has to redefine what he considers fun. Because in the moment he's saying that he is having fun, but he's also doing something that he, I think, deep down, does not agree with. And it takes for us to point it out. So in these moments, I think we redefine beauty and we redefine discipline and a couple other things, I think for the group and for myself especially. So I think Mike has to redefine what fun is. And when he's buzzing and when he is in the moment, is this something that is actually having fun or is it just kind of reconditioning that old idea of what he thinks that fun is? And I think when you separate both of those and you're honest with yourself, then I think that me and Tolly or Eldar, whoever is going to bring it up, it can be more of a conversation than an attack. And I think when it becomes a conversation, it can become educational, and then you can actually learn from it. So I think at this stage right now, it seems like you are still being.
Phillip [01:20:17]:
Taking offense to it, but we are, I guess, taking those, turning them into, like, back and forth. I guess you can call them conversations now, but you are still sensitive to them, for sure. But I think seeing the sensitivity, we did identify that anytime somebody is sensitive to any specific topic, there is a certain level of attachment that is identifying where the problem is. So we can pry it open for you, but then you also have to be open to hearing it. And when you're open to hearing it, we can go back and forth and we can educate. But when you're not, we're just going to be going back and forth and just keeping saying the same thing and the same thing, and it's going to be, like, tiring for everybody. So I think it's just a matter of, yeah, I think working on being open, and I think it's still being who you are, allowing these opportunities and experiences to kind of take shape, but really being honest.
Mike [01:21:15]:
And I think embracing.
Phillip [01:21:16]:
Yeah, embracing, but honest comes with, comes to mind hearing the people that are talking to you that realize that they have no horse in the race and saying at the same time, okay, if these people are pointing something out, I am doing this, but also I have to hear this person. And when you're not willing to hear this person, that is the indicator that you are not being humble and you're being arrogant. So I think if there is, like, a meter in the beginning to realize, like, hey, if totally Eldar Philip is bringing something up and they're all in unison together, they're not trying to attack me. They're trying to bring something to light. And I think in those moments is when you can honestly work on being humble, because when you're buzing and we're out at a restaurant, there's no real need to be humble. You're just enjoying yourself. It's afterwards is when you're going to actually be like, hey, they're pointing something out, you brought something up, and then we're having a conversation. And it's in those moments where you can learn to be humble.
Phillip [01:22:09]:
And I think if you have that mindset going forward, I think we can have more conversations, and then it can become more growth versus, like, combativeness. Does that make sense?
Eldar [01:22:20]:
You know what? After thinking about it, no, but now.
Mike [01:22:23]:
I understand why you stood silent the whole time.
Eldar [01:22:28]:
No, for sure. It's definitely good advice. Yeah. Definitely good advice. For sure. Yeah. That is good advice. Yeah.
Eldar [01:22:35]:
You receive, I think, everything a little bit from everyone. You know what I mean? And I think there's a lot to build on, you know what I mean? So, as you actualize these things, I think that it's going to be awesome.
Katherine [01:22:45]:
We should have a follow up on this.
Eldar [01:22:46]:
This is a very good topic if he wants to. Yeah, for sure. Dennis, if you're having a hard time picking a topic for this one, this one's called. I'll do an easy one for you, Mike, part four.
Mike [01:23:00]:
Holy shit.
Eldar [01:23:06]:
Oh, sorry, babe.
Mike [01:23:07]:
You know what I mean?
Eldar [01:23:08]:
I'm having too much fun. I got to get a shirt, right? I'm having too much fun.
Anatoliy [01:23:12]:
I like it.
Eldar [01:23:13]:
I'll put it in.
Phillip [01:23:15]:
We should always grab.
Anatoliy [01:23:17]:
Grab something after this, or Mike goes off nine.
Eldar [01:23:25]:
Of course.
Mike [01:23:27]:
So we're not going to leave you. You're just a little boy.
Katherine [01:23:30]:
You're not going to start with.
Phillip [01:23:31]:
I will get a jersey Mike sub right now.
86. Embracing Self-Acceptance amid Jokes and Identity Crises
Sep 08, 2023•1 hr 24 min•Ep. 86
Episode description
What it truly means to accept one's self?
On the latest episode of Dennis Rox, entitled 'Embracing Self-Acceptance amid Jokes and Identity Crises,' we dove into a rich and raw conversation about identity, self-acceptance, joking boundaries, and the quirks of our eating habits. Our hosts, Eldar and Mike, were joined by guests Phillip, Anatoliy, and Katherine for a mix of introspection and humor that kept us all on the edge of our seats—and perhaps made us a bit hungry too!
High points included Eldar's focus on the freedom that comes with self-acceptance and Mike's candidness about his journey toward breaking old patterns and embracing his 'points guy' persona. Phillip, the voice of reason, steered the conversation toward the importance of honest self-reflection and redefining fun. Anatoliy's experiences shed light on the humility in self-development, while Katherine's reflections brought attention to the delicate balance between taking oneself seriously and having fun.
Chuckles were abundant as they reminisced over eating challenges, like devouring entire pies or a line-up of hot dogs, though the discussion question remained: could Eldar really put away nine Big Macs in six hours?
The episode took a serious turn when discussing the role of humor in our lives—can everyone take a joke, or does it sometimes strike a nerve? Insights from Eldar and Katherine about defensive reactions, coupled with Mike's reflections on identity, solidified an essential theme: knowing oneself is the bedrock of humor, relationships, and ultimately, happiness.
Transcript
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