81. Love Unbound: The Intricacies of Emotional Connections in Open Relationships

Eldar [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode, how many girls are you have on the side?

Brian [00:00:03]:
Currently there's two. I found that if it was more than two girls, that it's a little bit hectic. So at one point I had four.

Eldar [00:00:10]:
Four.

Brian [00:00:11]:
Plus wife, plus wife, plus wife. And that was rough. Going to bars and paying for girls drinks.

Eldar [00:00:17]:
I don't do that.

Phillip [00:00:18]:
That's madness.

Brian [00:00:19]:
That is absolute madness.

Eldar [00:00:21]:
There's a cup of water.

Brian [00:00:22]:
Let's have a conversation.

Eldar [00:00:23]:
Okay.

Brian [00:00:23]:
I don't have to buy you a drink to talk you. If you want that, you could go to the next guy and have a good time. Am I here to pay for your drink, sweetheart?

Phillip [00:00:30]:
If I'm with somebody, I'm going to feel something like very crying every time.

Eldar [00:00:34]:
He puts a tip in.

Mike [00:00:35]:
Always there's a lady sitting there and she's very voluptuous.

Brian [00:00:40]:
Oh, Eiffel Tower all day, baby.

Anatoliy [00:00:41]:
No, because it's not good enough.

Brian [00:00:43]:
I don't think so. I think your mindset is wrong there.

Eldar [00:00:46]:
It's not good enough. I think if it was, say what's.

Brian [00:00:49]:
Good enough and what's not. You sit here, right? And you're stating that I am lacking something in my relationship from my wife. And it may be the other way around. From what I hear, that is incorrect. We are not lacking shit. I want pizza.

Eldar [00:01:14]:
So the topic of today is open relationships. And we have Brian as a guest here, and he's actually in one.

Phillip [00:01:22]:
Right.

Eldar [00:01:22]:
So we can kind of start off kind of with general thing of what is an open relationship and why is it Brian?

Brian [00:01:30]:
Yes.

Eldar [00:01:31]:
Help us out.

Phillip [00:01:32]:
Course.

Brian [00:01:32]:
Of course. So an open relationship in my standards, right. Me and my wife's standards are we're able to see other people in a capacity where we could kind of be boyfriends and girlfriends to other individuals and then come home and be husband and wife, right. And why we've decided to do that was we've gone through a weight loss journey. And our bodies obviously have changed over the years. And it was just time for us to kind of experience other things.

Phillip [00:02:04]:
Right.

Brian [00:02:04]:
Not that I don't enjoy my wife, and not that she doesn't enjoy me per se, but experiencing other people. So what I can learn from Alina or Nicole is different from what I can get from my wife. And same goes to her. So the experiencing of different people is really what our mindset was about. So it's not only about the whole sexual aspect of it. It's about being able to get to know someone and enjoy that person for what they bring to the table, right. And you're in a marriage, right? Your wife could have friends, you could be friends with her friends, and you're experiencing her friends through your way.

Phillip [00:02:44]:
Right?

Brian [00:02:45]:
But me, I like to be there fully. So the whole boyfriend experience comes into play with that.

Phillip [00:02:50]:
Right.

Brian [00:02:51]:
I provide the boyfriend experience without having to have that actual title.

Eldar [00:02:55]:
Okay, that's interesting. Now, what's the big distinction between being married to somebody and being just boyfriend and girlfriend? I'm sorry. Perfect. What's the big difference between being in the marriage versus being in a boyfriend and girlfriend? Where's the lines of, like, okay, cool, this is a marriage thing and this.

Brian [00:03:11]:
Is a boyfriend and girlfriend thing, right? It's not a traditional marriage, per se.

Phillip [00:03:19]:
Right.

Brian [00:03:19]:
Where two people come together and there.

Phillip [00:03:22]:
Are rules there, right.

Brian [00:03:24]:
In our marriage, the one rule that we have when it comes to the open relationship is that we can't fall in love with the people that we're with. Oh, that's very interesting. That's the one thing that we are not allowed to do. Obviously, that's not something you could really control anyways. I mean, feelings are feelings, right?

Eldar [00:03:40]:
That's right.

Brian [00:03:42]:
But I personally know where to cut off my feelings for somebody. Really, I do. I've learned over the time of how to cut off feelings. So, yeah, I might really like this person. And I'm going to tell you right now, no one will ever be at the level of my wife.

Phillip [00:03:59]:
No one.

Brian [00:04:00]:
And I've met plenty of women. And not to say they're not good, just to say that they'll never be at the level of my wife. Right. And I think that's because we've kind of came together before this whole open marriage thing and really get to know each other for who we are. And over the years, and that helped us out, figure out what we want to do and how we wanted to do it. So what differentiates between a boyfriend and a girlfriend is that we're able to still provide kind of like what we do for each other, just at a different level.

Eldar [00:04:38]:
Okay. Can you give an example?

Brian [00:04:39]:
Sure. Yeah, I'll give you an example. So most of the women that I date, and it goes to all women in general, they all need help, right? Just like us, mentally, they need help. So my wife, obviously, she's my wife, she has different things going on than the girls that I date. So I'm able to give her a different type of being there for her than I do for the girls that I see. Like I said, I have to kind of separate feelings at one point so I can't provide them 100% as to what I do for my wife. It's just a no no on my end.

Eldar [00:05:21]:
What if they ask you like, hey, I kind of need more, maybe, or.

Phillip [00:05:25]:
Like, it depends on what it is.

Brian [00:05:28]:
I feel like I provide enough for them to be like, okay, this is.

Phillip [00:05:31]:
Good enough for me.

Brian [00:05:32]:
That's my opinion. Right. And if that wasn't the case, I don't believe that they would be seeing me at this point. I'm providing something to them that they really enjoy, whatever the case might be, whether it just be company, conversation, or just physically being there.

Phillip [00:05:51]:
Right.

Eldar [00:05:53]:
Have you found yourself in situations where girls that the girlfriends kind of wanted more, a little bit extra, where then you're like, okay, cool, let's put a stop to this, just because this is getting out of hand, or is this too much?

Brian [00:06:06]:
No. The answer is no. I have never met a girl that's wanted to do that, because at that point, I just wouldn't go further. There's been girls at the beginning of the conversational point of talking to one another where they're like, hey, listen, this is what I'm looking for. And I'm like, you know the situation, right? You know that I'm married. You know that I'm able to provide you a specific type of thing, and I'm not really willing and unable, per se, to give you anything more than that. And I'll give an example. This new girl I was trying to see, this dominican girl, very nice, from the Bronx.

Brian [00:06:41]:
She single girl, very beautiful. She stated off the bat, hey, this is what I'm looking for. I'm looking for something really serious. I expressed to her, I'm in a marriage. It's not something that I could provide you. If you want that whole boyfriend experience as what I do provide to others, gladly, this is what you get, right? But this is as far as it goes. And then she gave it a shot. We saw each other, and it was like a one time meeting.

Brian [00:07:08]:
She kind of fell for me, I guess. I'm a nice guy. I don't know. And after that, she's like, well, how many other girls are you seeing? I'm like, well, why are you asking these questions? It's a me and you situation. She's like, well, I just want to know, because if you're seeing blah, blah, blah, then I want you to get rid of them. I want to be the only girl that you see.

Eldar [00:07:26]:
So she's not about that.

Brian [00:07:27]:
She's not about that. And then every single time we've had a conversation. She always brought up my wife, like, oh, well, what are you doing tonight? You're with your wife when you could be with me? I'm like, way, this is as far as it's going to go for me. So I had to block her kind of situation because she was just too much. Way too much. And I've met a couple of those girls, and I could totally understand where they're coming from, and I can't apologize for my marriage. I'm not here to do that. So this is as far as I could go.

Phillip [00:07:57]:
Yeah, that's interesting. Wow.

Eldar [00:08:01]:
So the way that you talk about.

Phillip [00:08:02]:
It, when you say you're providing a service, it sounds like a business. Like there's a transaction involved. Is there money involved?

Brian [00:08:09]:
No, there's no money involved. There's no service involved.

Mike [00:08:13]:
He's not hiring.

Eldar [00:08:14]:
If you want.

Phillip [00:08:16]:
Is it an escort service?

Phillip [00:08:17]:
No.

Brian [00:08:18]:
The transaction, the only transaction there is feelings.

Phillip [00:08:22]:
Okay?

Brian [00:08:22]:
That's it. That's what we're here for, realistically. So just like any friendship, like you and Mike and everyone here, right? You have a friendship. It's all transactional. At the end of the day, it's not a service you're providing, but you're getting something out of each other. And it's the same thing that I get from these girls and these girls get from me as well.

Phillip [00:08:42]:
But there is a limit to the feelings that you can have there.

Brian [00:08:45]:
Absolutely.

Phillip [00:08:45]:
Got it.

Brian [00:08:46]:
Absolutely.

Katherine [00:08:47]:
Can I ask you a question?

Phillip [00:08:48]:
Sure.

Katherine [00:08:48]:
I like to know, how long have you guys been doing this? But most importantly, how did you guys come up with this? Who initiated the conversation? How did that conversation go, and how did you guys agree to this?

Brian [00:09:02]:
Yeah, so we've been doing this probably a little bit over a year and a half or so now, initially. So she had weight loss surgery, and I had weight loss surgery nearly nine months apart from one another. And as we are growing individuals and changing individuals, we obviously still love each other the way we still love each other, but we came together. I initially brought up the idea of doing an open marriage, and she kind of fell in line and said, that's pretty cool. Let's, I guess, do that.

Phillip [00:09:32]:
Right?

Brian [00:09:33]:
And then I started getting on the apps and meeting girls, and she wasn't really about that yet. And then I told her about the whole hinge application, and I set her up, and then she started seeing guys after that, and it was just like.

Mike [00:09:46]:
All the people you guys see, they know what's happening.

Brian [00:09:49]:
You tell them straight up, right off the bat, it's out of respect. One thing that I can say that I don't do is in my profile on all these applications, it doesn't state that I'm in an open marriage because I've already tried that and I tested it out to see what the outcome would be. And people, usually they judge before they find out what the situation is. Rather than having to get to know me first and knowing me and what I have to bring to the table first. They just judge off of that. And because I'm a male, they assume it's only just sexual. And that's where the mindset is wrong. Where, yes, I am a male.

Brian [00:10:28]:
Am I looking for sex? No. I have a wife.

Phillip [00:10:31]:
Right?

Brian [00:10:31]:
Realistically, I have a wife. I could have sex with her anytime I want. And that's not what I'm looking out of the relationships that I'm looking for. I'm looking to experience. So if you were the one I'm talking to, right. I want to go out with you. I want to get to know you. I want to get to know about your life, your work, your career, everything that you have going on in your life, I want to be part of.

Brian [00:10:50]:
I want to be your side conversation where like, hey, this is what happened at work. What do you think I should be doing? Or. I love to be there for that person. So it is transactional, right. Just not monetarily.

Katherine [00:11:03]:
Connection.

Brian [00:11:04]:
Yes, correct. And that's how I approach the girls that I talk to. It's more of emotional connection.

Phillip [00:11:12]:
Right.

Brian [00:11:13]:
They are like, oh, yeah, you just want to have sex. It's not about that. Yes, of course. Eventually it's going to become physical because intimacy plays a huge role in what we do.

Phillip [00:11:22]:
Right.

Brian [00:11:23]:
In all aspects, in all relationships, sex plays a game. The biggest, I would say, other than being there mentally and emotionally for one another.

Eldar [00:11:32]:
So how do you transition to viewing then sex or making love.

Phillip [00:11:37]:
Right.

Eldar [00:11:37]:
So you're not allowed to make love.

Phillip [00:11:39]:
Clearly. Right.

Eldar [00:11:40]:
So it's just kind of banging.

Brian [00:11:42]:
There's emotions. There's emotions.

Eldar [00:11:45]:
I wanted to make a clear distinction. Right. You know what I'm talking about?

Brian [00:11:48]:
No, there's emotions there. When we have sex, it's not as emotional as if it was me and my wife having sex, where two people come together and it's just like this beautiful art is being made. Yeah, I have that as well with my girlfriends. It's just at a different level. Right? Yes. We really get to know one another. And I feel like when you get to really know one another, whether they're your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, whatever, the case is you're going to have that bomb sex, right? No matter what. Am I making love? No, I make love to my wife.

Brian [00:12:22]:
Do I have emotional sex with my girlfriends? Yeah, we have that. We have a connection there where we are able to enjoy one another at a level that we enjoy. So it's not love. Maybe on their end they have fallen for me. I don't know. I can't speak for them.

Phillip [00:12:40]:
Right.

Brian [00:12:41]:
Maybe they feel like they're making love to me.

Phillip [00:12:44]:
Right.

Eldar [00:12:44]:
But that's out of your control.

Brian [00:12:46]:
No, I can't control how they feel.

Eldar [00:12:48]:
Can you tell the difference between. They're just kind of using it as a transactional thing versus. You could definitely.

Brian [00:12:54]:
Oh, for sure. Yeah. Some of the girls that I've seen.

Eldar [00:12:58]:
Which one do you prefer more, when they're just kind of banging you or the one that they're actually connecting?

Brian [00:13:02]:
No, I love the connection. The connection is really what makes me happy.

Phillip [00:13:07]:
Right.

Brian [00:13:08]:
And I was telling Mike yesterday, actually, that it actually brings me happiness, tranquility, to be able to be part of their lives in a way that a boyfriend would be there for them.

Phillip [00:13:21]:
Right.

Brian [00:13:22]:
I want to be there for you emotionally and any other aspect that you need me to be. I enjoy that.

Phillip [00:13:27]:
I like that.

Eldar [00:13:28]:
So how does that not qualify towards then being loving towards someone? I don't understand. I'm still having a hard time distinguishing between you saying, hey, this is not love. This is not a loving thing. It's more transactional. But I'm still seeing how, the way you're describing it, to be somebody there for somebody who, for emotional support and then also physical connection, how can that not be classified or understood as love?

Brian [00:13:54]:
So if you can, for me define what love is for you, I would.

Eldar [00:13:59]:
Have to use the things that you're using in a boyfriend and girlfriend situations. It's encompassing of all those things. That's why I'm having a hard time distinguishing how you separate the two.

Brian [00:14:09]:
So here's another question for you. How did you know that you love your wife? What was it that made you feel that for you?

Eldar [00:14:18]:
She understood me.

Brian [00:14:19]:
So with every different individual, love is.

Phillip [00:14:22]:
A different meaning, right.

Brian [00:14:24]:
The assumption is that if you ask Phil what his definition of love is, it might not be the same as yours.

Eldar [00:14:29]:
Yeah, it might not be. But I think that if we actually think about it, I think we'll come to a conclusion that we can agree on some points that, generally speaking, these things we can identify as a loving relationship. I think if we try really hard, but I understand that it is complicated it's just based on how you have the relationship. And based on what you described, it seems like you have a pretty good knowledge of where the line cuts off. I just don't see that as clearly as you do. And that's why I'm not in that type of relationship. Right. Where your wife's like, okay, cool, Brian, you can go have whatever you want to have with this lady.

Eldar [00:15:02]:
But I know you won't cross this line. This line is what I'm asking for.

Brian [00:15:07]:
So it's hard for me to explain what that line is for me.

Phillip [00:15:10]:
Right.

Brian [00:15:11]:
Because the love portion of what I have for my wife differentiates. But maybe the love that I have for these girls. Can I say I'm in love with these girls? No. Can I tell you that I'm providing love to them? Yes.

Phillip [00:15:29]:
Right.

Brian [00:15:30]:
It doesn't mean that I have to be in love to be able to provide that type of love for someone. I could meet Mike two weeks from now and be like, hey, Mike, I love you, dude. Right? And not really know him for him and just say, yeah, I just love to be. It doesn't make what you love about your wife meaning the same for me. Be like, oh, well, I love just hanging out with the guy, so I'm going to tell him, hey, I love you, Mike.

Phillip [00:15:55]:
Yeah. Right.

Brian [00:15:56]:
Doesn't mean I'm in love with.

Phillip [00:15:58]:
Not.

Brian [00:15:59]:
No, definitely not.

Eldar [00:16:00]:
But it's easy to fall in love with Mike.

Phillip [00:16:02]:
It's opposite.

Brian [00:16:03]:
How could you not. How could you not that flowy hair.

Phillip [00:16:06]:
Come on. Yeah.

Eldar [00:16:12]:
I mean, it's definitely interesting.

Brian [00:16:13]:
That's what differentiates, I think, the love portion on my end.

Eldar [00:16:17]:
So it's almost. I can't stop by, think about identities that we have or we share with the different partners, friends, family members and stuff like that. In your case, it's almost. It feels like, correct me if I'm wrong, some of the things that maybe you have with them is not necessarily the same thing as you have with your wife and vice versa.

Phillip [00:16:41]:
Right.

Brian [00:16:42]:
So it's nearly at the same level, but not really.

Phillip [00:16:45]:
Right.

Brian [00:16:47]:
The relationship that we have, me and my wife, it could be similar to the same as I have with the others as well. It's just that love portion there.

Phillip [00:16:57]:
Right.

Brian [00:16:58]:
It's the only thing that differentiates. What the relationship I have with these girls are and what I have with my wife. That's the only difference. So it's basically the same exact thing. I want to be able to provide the girls the same exact thing that I do for my wife. Just at a different aspect at a lower level. Does that mess them up? Absolutely. Because now I'm trying to tone it down.

Brian [00:17:21]:
Right. But that's their choice to be with me then.

Mike [00:17:25]:
So you're intentionally turning it down the amount of, I guess, whatever it is you're forgiving, right?

Phillip [00:17:29]:
Correct. Right.

Brian [00:17:31]:
Because they deserve it. Every female in the world deserves a man's love or anyone else's love. It's just that because I'm married, that is that line that I cannot cross.

Phillip [00:17:42]:
Yes. Right.

Brian [00:17:44]:
And I know the difference between that line.

Eldar [00:17:46]:
Why not?

Brian [00:17:46]:
Why can't you cross that line? Because then how do I go to my wife and say, hey, baba, I.

Phillip [00:17:51]:
Fell in love with this girl.

Brian [00:17:53]:
There's just no possible way that I could ever have a conversation.

Eldar [00:17:56]:
How would that change the dynamic of your relationship?

Brian [00:17:59]:
I mean, that's the one thing that will kind of break the relationship, is telling my wife that I'm in love with another woman.

Mike [00:18:06]:
But is it possible to love? I guess. I don't know. We're not talking, I don't know if we're talking about love, but true love or different kinds of levels to love.

Phillip [00:18:14]:
Right.

Mike [00:18:14]:
Is it possible to love somebody and then just kind of go from loving one person to another constantly or.

Brian [00:18:20]:
No, you could keep loving as many people as you want. Love has no bound if you really think about it.

Eldar [00:18:26]:
But you make that choice.

Brian [00:18:28]:
Oh, absolutely. There's individuals that say, hey, listen, I could only have one person that I love all my life. I have to meet that one person and I'll know and I'll love them forever. Whereas if you're more of an open minded person, you're about the connections with everything that's around you. I love this couch.

Mike [00:18:48]:
Don't make love to this couch.

Eldar [00:18:51]:
Hold yourself back.

Brian [00:18:53]:
But I'm just saying you could love many different aspects of everybody and enjoy them.

Phillip [00:18:58]:
Right.

Brian [00:18:59]:
And then some people like Mike, he prefers more finding that.

Mike [00:19:02]:
But the thing is, you're still saying that you have a different level of love for your wife. So you are still need that one, that one that's special. Like above all other levels of love.

Brian [00:19:11]:
You have that one only because of the open relationship. But if it wasn't open, then I.

Phillip [00:19:16]:
Wouldn'T need that, right?

Brian [00:19:17]:
Then it would be just my wife.

Anatoliy [00:19:19]:
But he could also, just. To me, the word play is just more of like, you can choose how you say it, right. He could say he loves his wife and he likes these other girls.

Phillip [00:19:32]:
Does that change anything?

Anatoliy [00:19:35]:
I feel like the use of the word is just like if he defines it in different ways.

Eldar [00:19:42]:
Open ended.

Anatoliy [00:19:43]:
It's open ended, right. Because then he could just say, I love my wife, and then I like these girls, and then does that now become okay for everybody?

Brian [00:19:51]:
Yeah, that's a good question, actually.

Phillip [00:19:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:19:53]:
I mean, it's definitely a question you probably thought about a lot, right? Especially with your wife. We're like, you guys have a line. You understand that line. You guys are happy with one another in your decision making, right? In this process, there's no confusion, I guess. So you guys are on the same page here with this stuff. I guess it's maybe hard for us to understand what is actually being said.

Phillip [00:20:13]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:20:14]:
So we have to ask questions to understand. So where my head is, what things can you talk to your wife about and what things can't you. So let's say after you're with a girlfriend, let's say you had sex with her, right? Are you allowed to talk about that experience with your wife, or is that a line? Because I think understanding where your line is with the girlfriend versus wife or wife versus girlfriend, I think that would help us understand the level of emotion that you have with each one.

Brian [00:20:40]:
So without, it's hard to have these sort of questions.

Phillip [00:20:44]:
Right.

Brian [00:20:45]:
And how I.

Eldar [00:20:45]:
We're not trying to get you in trouble here. No, you're good. Cool.

Phillip [00:20:48]:
No, you're good.

Brian [00:20:49]:
As long as I don't say my wife's name, we're good. She'll sue me. So it's okay. I'm the one with the attorney in the family. It's okay. I love her anyways. No, but to answer your question, so how we find out that answer is experiencing, right. I one day came home after an event and said, hey, babe, this is what we did.

Brian [00:21:13]:
And she's like, why are you telling me this? This is not something that I want to hear, right? And I'm like, well, I didn't know. I thought that this would actually be more of a communicative thing where we've opened our communication and just to express to you our open relationship helped us be more communicative together. We opened up even more to talk.

Phillip [00:21:35]:
To each other about things, as if.

Brian [00:21:38]:
When we were married, per se, without the open marriage, things were just, like, very particular and aligned every day. How's your day? Blah, blah, blah. And this is.

Phillip [00:21:46]:
Right. This kind of opened up a lot.

Brian [00:21:49]:
More like a pandora's box, but not really per se, right. He lets it open up and just talk about everything and anything, right. So I came home, had this conversation with her. She's like, well, why are you telling me this?

Phillip [00:21:58]:
I don't want to hear how you're.

Brian [00:22:00]:
Laying up with this girl and what you're doing with them. I was like, well, I didn't know.

Phillip [00:22:03]:
That this is the type of thing.

Brian [00:22:04]:
You have to tell me. So then when I come home, I don't talk to you about this. So that's how we answer that question. We have a conversation after the fact, and then we learn. And then we learn what can't be said and what can be said.

Eldar [00:22:18]:
And that's obviously a personal preference, right?

Phillip [00:22:21]:
Correct.

Eldar [00:22:22]:
Your wife particularly doesn't like to have conversations about this, but there's other open relationships that maybe wives, other wives or other husbands might say. I want to know it all. Tell me everything that happened.

Phillip [00:22:31]:
Right?

Brian [00:22:32]:
I'm that guy. I want to know.

Eldar [00:22:33]:
Oh, you want to know?

Brian [00:22:34]:
I want to know.

Phillip [00:22:35]:
So does she tell you?

Phillip [00:22:36]:
She does not.

Brian [00:22:38]:
She's old school, thinking. She's brazilian, straight from Brazil. It's been in the country twelve years or so. So how she was brought up was different than anyone else, right. From this room. Currently probably the same as eastern european style, thinking of like, don't talk about.

Phillip [00:22:58]:
Yeah, right.

Brian [00:22:58]:
Don't talk about this. And we're good. But yeah, she prefers not to tell me what's going on. She probably thinks that that's really disrespectful by telling me, even though I asked.

Eldar [00:23:12]:
Which part you.

Phillip [00:23:13]:
Sorry, go ahead. Yeah.

Phillip [00:23:15]:
So what I think is interesting from that is that you were saying that you guys had a better communication as a result of the open relationship. So there was like a deeper truth unlocked. But then ironically, on the other side is that as a result of opening up to other relationships, there's less truth between both of you because now you're not allowed to talk about the other experiences. So I find that really only sexual.

Phillip [00:23:38]:
Yeah, only sexual.

Mike [00:23:39]:
Well, you guys talk about your relationships with other girl, but just not the sexual.

Eldar [00:23:43]:
What's wrong with that if it's not love? I just banged her brains out, babe.

Brian [00:23:47]:
She doesn't want to hear that. But what's wrong with what your wife would have want to hear you talk about an ex girlfrilf that you banged out?

Eldar [00:23:53]:
Probably not, but I'm not in that type of relationship.

Brian [00:23:56]:
But if you spoke about your ex girlfriend, like, yo, babe, I took this girl on street Road and banged her out of my car. You think she wants to hear that?

Eldar [00:24:02]:
No, nobody wants to hear that.

Phillip [00:24:03]:
Exactly.

Brian [00:24:04]:
So my wife, she doesn't care to hear that.

Phillip [00:24:07]:
Right.

Brian [00:24:08]:
The whole point of and like I.

Eldar [00:24:09]:
Said, I'm just saying that it's happening. But you're not okay with hearing it.

Brian [00:24:14]:
Hearing about it.

Phillip [00:24:14]:
Right.

Eldar [00:24:14]:
Because you guys probably heard, right? About the Adam 22 situation.

Mike [00:24:19]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:24:19]:
Right.

Eldar [00:24:20]:
He openly talks about it, whatever. His wife is a porn star. She gets laid all the time by other dudes.

Phillip [00:24:25]:
No, this is the first time.

Mike [00:24:28]:
This is the first guy that ever did.

Anatoliy [00:24:30]:
Yeah, they do porn together, but he's.

Mike [00:24:34]:
Always with other girl only.

Eldar [00:24:35]:
Oh, this was separate time for the first time.

Mike [00:24:37]:
First time only with a guy.

Eldar [00:24:39]:
He openly's talking about it. He doesn't have a problem with it.

Mike [00:24:42]:
Yeah, I think he's doing it because it's good for business, I guess. Maybe because it became, like, a huge controversial thing and it's all over the Internet.

Eldar [00:24:51]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:24:51]:
You know about the story.

Brian [00:24:52]:
I have no clue. I live under a rock.

Phillip [00:24:54]:
I didn't try to search it or anything.

Brian [00:24:57]:
For sure. Nobody tried to google it.

Phillip [00:25:00]:
Nobody here tried.

Eldar [00:25:01]:
Yeah, no, it's very interesting that there are certain things that kind of a no go, but even though they're happening and speaking about them kind of provides some level of pain.

Brian [00:25:10]:
Yeah, it sure does. So my brother in law and I just had a conversation right before I got on here, right? He was like, how could you even not think about your wife getting banged out? Because you know what? Logically speaking, I don't think about it like that. It's about experiencing others for others. It's not about me thinking about her, oh, going to his house or how they're banging and what positions they're in. I don't care about that. I care about her growth as an individual and her growth experiencing what she could learn from you, Mike, Phil, from anybody from here is different.

Phillip [00:25:44]:
And she doesn't have to have sex.

Brian [00:25:47]:
With any of the men she dates.

Eldar [00:25:48]:
But you're just almost promoting. For her to go out there and explore.

Brian [00:25:51]:
That's it. That's all I am. I want her to grow as a person.

Phillip [00:25:54]:
Right.

Brian [00:25:55]:
And in a traditional marriage, not to say, you guys, I know nothing about your marriage, but in a traditional marriage.

Phillip [00:26:02]:
And I'll give you an example, let's.

Brian [00:26:03]:
Say you got a job offer to work on a cruise ship for the next nine months. You go to your wife.

Eldar [00:26:08]:
Hey, babe, when do I start?

Phillip [00:26:10]:
Right?

Brian [00:26:10]:
You would love that. What's your wife's response?

Eldar [00:26:14]:
I don't even care about the pay.

Brian [00:26:16]:
Get away. But what's your wife's response to that, babe? No, I don't think I like that idea of you going. And that stops you from growing as an individual, because that might give.

Eldar [00:26:27]:
I might want that.

Brian [00:26:28]:
You might want that.

Eldar [00:26:29]:
I might want that.

Brian [00:26:30]:
So now your wife or your girlfriend at the time, whatever the case is, is stopping you from moving forward in life. And this is how I think.

Phillip [00:26:38]:
That's not love. No, exactly.

Brian [00:26:41]:
That's not love. You shouldn't stop anyone from doing what.

Eldar [00:26:43]:
They actually want to do.

Brian [00:26:44]:
Exactly. And my wife asked me the same question, I think, before the open marriage. And I said, babe, absolutely, you could go work, just pay me for the rent. Okay, we're good to go. Just pay me for half your rent, and we're good to go.

Phillip [00:26:58]:
Right?

Brian [00:26:58]:
Because I'm not about that life. I want to see my wife grow as an individual. And whether that means if she wants to see other men, that's okay. If she doesn't want to see other men, that's perfectly fine. Whatever it is that takes you to that journey of knowing or wanting to be a specific person, and me not stopping you is the most important thing that I could provide you as a husband. Because most husbands and wives, they stop each other from doing things that they love each other. And you could hear many stories, stories of all these relationships out there. Be like, yo, you know what? My wife stopped me, or my husband stopped me from doing something so amazing.

Phillip [00:27:35]:
And all he wanted to do is.

Brian [00:27:37]:
Just be greedy with his time, just want to spend time with me. There's nothing wrong with that, of course. That's just the husband wanting to be with the wife. But you're not growing as a couple or as an individual. We all are individuals. At the end of the day, even when you're married, you're still individuals. You grow together. Whether or not you go on that trip or anything doesn't change how you love your wife.

Brian [00:27:59]:
And that's the reasoning why I do what I do is because of that. I want to see her grow, and she also wants to see me grow as well. The types of activities and conversations that I'm having with these other individual women are different than I have with my own wife, and I'm able to learn through their processing, and that's what I really enjoy doing. What I'm doing. Sex is great, absolutely. But that's not what it's all about.

Eldar [00:28:22]:
That's not the end goal.

Brian [00:28:24]:
Zero. Not on my end, at least.

Eldar [00:28:25]:
See, I, for some reason, thought that when you're in an open relationship, you're not susceptible to maybe jealousy of those feelings, but nonetheless, based on what you're saying, you still are susceptible to that jealousy. And potential pitfalls where another person can still fall in love with somebody. And then what do you got?

Phillip [00:28:42]:
Nothing. Zero.

Brian [00:28:43]:
Yeah, you're back to zero. And then you're trying to figure out how you can move on from that.

Mike [00:28:48]:
You give the blessing? No. If your wife falls in love with another guy.

Eldar [00:28:51]:
Well, no.

Mike [00:28:52]:
Do you give the blessing?

Eldar [00:28:53]:
No. You see, no.

Mike [00:28:55]:
It's about the growth, though.

Katherine [00:28:56]:
No, that's when it is.

Eldar [00:28:57]:
I'm not sure.

Brian [00:28:58]:
Loving another person, it's not allowing them to grow as an individual.

Phillip [00:29:02]:
It's not?

Brian [00:29:03]:
No.

Anatoliy [00:29:04]:
So what does it mean? What is your definition of growth?

Brian [00:29:10]:
And I'll give you an example. So she started working, and she works probably 16 hours a day.

Phillip [00:29:17]:
16 hours a day. Right.

Brian [00:29:20]:
If you were married, would you let your wife work 16 hours a day?

Phillip [00:29:23]:
Probably not.

Brian [00:29:24]:
Because you want your wife there at home spending time with you.

Phillip [00:29:27]:
Right.

Brian [00:29:28]:
So stopping someone of that sort to do what she wants to do, whether it's 24 hours a day, it doesn't really matter. That's the growth of an individual, and that's just the aspect of career wise.

Phillip [00:29:38]:
Right. But when it comes to relationships. Yeah.

Brian [00:29:41]:
I mean, it plays a role, what we're talking about right now. But loving another person, that's going over the line from what was placed.

Phillip [00:29:50]:
Right.

Brian [00:29:50]:
There's rules and regulations to our game, and now you've gone over those rules and regulations.

Eldar [00:29:57]:
Unless, of course, if you say that love is not. A love can grow. Right. If you grow as a person, doesn't your ability to love harder and stronger grows as well? Because if it does, then what if she potentially finds a match or you find a match where that love that you're talking about can take you even higher and a new person.

Phillip [00:30:18]:
Right.

Eldar [00:30:18]:
A girlfriend can take you to the next level of love, where your wife, for example, may be left behind because.

Mike [00:30:24]:
You just grew just too much.

Eldar [00:30:27]:
No, you outgrew her. You outgrew her.

Phillip [00:30:28]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:30:29]:
Because the way I think about love, I think love is ultimate growth.

Phillip [00:30:32]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:30:33]:
Because you ultimately, all the time you're pushing each other, trying to become better at all the things that you do. You try to be even more compassionate, even more understanding, kind.

Phillip [00:30:42]:
Right.

Mike [00:30:42]:
Like, even the example you gave, like, yo, I came to her, I told.

Phillip [00:30:45]:
Her the story, and she's like, I.

Mike [00:30:47]:
Don'T want to hear this. That's also growth. You're learning to understand each other and be compassionate and considerate. That's part of love. That's part of growth. And I think love carries with it a love that you want to.

Brian [00:30:56]:
Obviously, that's a broad, like love and growth in love is very broad.

Eldar [00:31:01]:
It's a tough subject.

Phillip [00:31:02]:
I think it is.

Brian [00:31:04]:
So I haven't had a situation in that hand to really be able to talk about it. Right where she came to me and said, hey, babe, I'm really in love with someone right now. And so I wouldn't know how to react to it. Honestly, I don't know how I would react to it because like I said, I've learned to kind of shut myself off from others for me to not overexpose that line.

Eldar [00:31:30]:
But what if you're holding yourself back from that growing thing that you're talking about?

Brian [00:31:33]:
I don't want to go over that line because I'm not too sure what that will bring.

Phillip [00:31:37]:
Oh, wow.

Brian [00:31:37]:
The growth portion is great. I'm afraid more about what's going to happen if I do fall in love and allow that to happen. It might be a great thing. I don't know. But remember, I'm married, right? I made that oath to my wife. And also in the agreement of being in an open relationship, we decided to not go over that line for that reason because I'm not too sure what would happen. My brother in law asked me, what if she did fall in love with somebody? And she says, hey, I'm in love with this person. I told him, please go be with this guy.

Brian [00:32:15]:
How I would reactionally react, you don't know yet? I don't know. But because it has something to do with her growth. And as we're talking about, if loving someone else will take you to somewhere else at another location in life, as growth wise, then I want the best for her.

Phillip [00:32:33]:
Right?

Brian [00:32:34]:
And I probably jokingly said to her, if you ever meet someone that you're really, truly in love with and you want to be with them, go ahead. Go ahead. I can't stop you. I'm not here to stop you. That's one thing that I told her. I'm not going to be here to stop you from you obtaining whatever it is that you want. If you feel like our marriage is not where you want it to be, and you feel like this love is going to take you to whatever it's going to take you, whatever your mind. Yeah, whatever next level it is, please, be my guest.

Phillip [00:33:07]:
Right.

Brian [00:33:07]:
Am I going to be heartbroken? Probably. So am I going to cry for 500 years? Absolutely. But then you know what? We get over it and we figure it out. I mean, it doesn't mean that we still can't have a conversation about what's next and what the next steps are going to be in our marriage, whether there was still going to be one, or you are so in love that you feel like maybe we just need to cut ties and you go be with this person and you want to keep me around because you've been with me for almost twelve years as a friend or confidant or whatever the case might be. I'm here for you.

Phillip [00:33:43]:
Right?

Eldar [00:33:43]:
I'm here for you.

Brian [00:33:44]:
And that's where my mindset is in this type of situation where I never want to stop my wife at all from doing whatever her heart desires.

Phillip [00:33:58]:
I guess. What is the thought process then, for wanting or needing to have a marriage in place if you have the open relationship?

Brian [00:34:06]:
So that conversation happened after, way after.

Mike [00:34:09]:
We were already married.

Brian [00:34:10]:
So it wasn't the initial grandfathered in?

Phillip [00:34:13]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:34:14]:
So you guys were married already, right.

Brian [00:34:15]:
We were married already. Then we transformed. Transformed into the people that we are today. That gave us the idea of being in an open relationship and trying and learning and doing all that stuff that allowed us to kind of expand ourselves as people.

Phillip [00:34:32]:
So did it come as a result of, like, there was like a plateau in the marriage and you were trying to figure it out or it just kind of, like, came up?

Brian [00:34:38]:
Yeah, it just came up.

Mike [00:34:39]:
No, they unlocked something more better about themselves they wanted to explore.

Brian [00:34:43]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:34:43]:
Okay. Yeah.

Mike [00:34:44]:
I think I also lost a lot of weight.

Phillip [00:34:47]:
Right.

Mike [00:34:48]:
So I think part of that you want to explore this new identity. For me, I always had a hard time with girls and getting into relationships and stuff. And as lost weight, I became more confident, so I definitely want to explore more of those kind of things. And then I learned my lessons through.

Phillip [00:35:04]:
That, that whatever I learned there.

Mike [00:35:07]:
But I think what he's saying is that he's like, wait, I'm a new person now, and I'd like to try new experiences.

Phillip [00:35:16]:
Right.

Phillip [00:35:17]:
So when you connect with new people, is it primarily a connection based off of a weight loss journey, or is your other girlfriends people that are just like, kind of like random interest and connections? What is the base of a lot of the other girlfriends connections?

Brian [00:35:31]:
Just regular connections there. It has nothing to do with the weight loss.

Phillip [00:35:34]:
Okay, so that was just you and your wife?

Brian [00:35:36]:
Yes, that's our journey together.

Phillip [00:35:38]:
Got it.

Brian [00:35:39]:
And Mike is totally right about that.

Phillip [00:35:41]:
Right.

Brian [00:35:41]:
So let's touch on that for a moment. I was a 475 pound man, still handsome, but at 475, most women don't.

Phillip [00:35:52]:
Even look my way. Right.

Brian [00:35:54]:
And not to say that I didn't have girlfriends, I had plenty of girlfriends, but those were the girls that were able to kind of oversee what the weight was doing to me and saw me as me, and I appreciated them for loving me, for me. And once I lost all that weight, I was able to kind of open up a different path for these girls to approach me.

Phillip [00:36:17]:
Right.

Brian [00:36:18]:
And it was more of like, I'm going to be a bad guy, right. Because most of these girls didn't even look at me. Now they want to look at.

Phillip [00:36:25]:
Right.

Brian [00:36:25]:
So let's see what kind of damage.

Eldar [00:36:27]:
Mike Jones.

Phillip [00:36:29]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:36:29]:
Oh, shit.

Eldar [00:36:31]:
Mike Jones.

Phillip [00:36:32]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:36:32]:
Of course. Back then, they didn't want me.

Eldar [00:36:34]:
Back then, they didn't know me.

Brian [00:36:35]:
That's me.

Eldar [00:36:36]:
Now I'm hot.

Brian [00:36:37]:
Now I'm hot.

Phillip [00:36:38]:
They all know me.

Brian [00:36:39]:
Exactly. And that song kind of helped me kind of figure out exactly who I am today.

Phillip [00:36:45]:
Right.

Eldar [00:36:46]:
Back in the day.

Brian [00:36:46]:
Back in the day. And that was at the beginning of the journey when I was starting to lose massive amounts of weight and I was looking fucking fly as hell, right?

Phillip [00:36:56]:
Not sad.

Brian [00:36:57]:
I wasn't fly already, but I looked different, and I was getting more looks and I was getting more attention by different type of girls. So at that time, I just want to be more of a villain. And then it turned into this whole open relationship and thinking more of it.

Phillip [00:37:15]:
At a different level. Right.

Brian [00:37:17]:
I don't want to hurt any of these girls. I'm not just going to bang.

Mike [00:37:19]:
So before it was like a revenge fuck tour.

Brian [00:37:21]:
Now it's something different, basically, yes and no, right? Because within that revenge fuck tour, I learned who I was.

Mike [00:37:31]:
You didn't want to be that guy.

Brian [00:37:32]:
I didn't want to be that guy. I didn't appreciate who I was at that time doing what I did.

Mike [00:37:39]:
You were always a good jewish boy.

Brian [00:37:40]:
Yeah, man. I can't run away from being that good jew boy, man. Yeah, but it's true, though. It's true. I changed. And it has nothing to do with the weight loss surgery that connected me with these girls. It was just more of a, let's have a conversation. Let's get to see where we could go and what I could learn from you and what you could learn from me.

Brian [00:38:00]:
I feel like if you had the opportunity to talk to any of these girls, they'll be easily expressing to you how I kind of have a crucial part in their lives and how they live day to day. Because not for nothing, I treat them as if I was going to treat a regular girlfriend. I hit them up every morning. Hey, good morning, gorgeous.

Mike [00:38:19]:
Morning.

Brian [00:38:20]:
Whatever. Have a nice little conversation throughout the day. How's your day. You got to check in, right? You got to check in with your girls. I check in with all my girls. Doesn't mind my mother, my sister, my aunt, my girlfriends, my wife.

Phillip [00:38:31]:
You got to check in.

Brian [00:38:32]:
It's the right thing to be a good person.

Phillip [00:38:34]:
Right?

Brian [00:38:35]:
Care about other people. You check in on them.

Mike [00:38:37]:
Check in is the good.

Phillip [00:38:39]:
Huh?

Mike [00:38:40]:
The check in is the good person.

Brian [00:38:42]:
You know, there's other moves to make you a good person, but that's just one of them.

Eldar [00:38:46]:
Come on, Mike.

Brian [00:38:46]:
One of them, fine.

Mike [00:38:47]:
I don't know.

Eldar [00:38:48]:
Don't minimize him just to that for that.

Brian [00:38:50]:
Yeah, right. There's that further conversation throughout the day that makes me the good guy. Not that I'm looking to be a good guy. It's just because I'm naturally okay being a good guy.

Eldar [00:39:01]:
So, Brian, what I'm hearing is you might actually enjoy your identity more with this identity that you've created. Do you enjoy that identity more than what you learned from these experiences and these encounters?

Brian [00:39:17]:
Absolutely.

Eldar [00:39:17]:
You do?

Phillip [00:39:18]:
Absolutely. Yeah. Okay.

Eldar [00:39:19]:
Because it sounds like to you, it's like, hey, I'm playing an important role here in their lives, and you also like it for yourself.

Brian [00:39:26]:
Oh, I love it.

Katherine [00:39:26]:
Gives them purpose to have that role.

Brian [00:39:30]:
Not that before, it didn't give me purpose to provide that to my wife, but it also feels good to be able to provide that for others as well.

Mike [00:39:37]:
Is it because your wife is just so busy, you have a lot of attention you're willing to give, but a lot of work, some energy?

Brian [00:39:43]:
I have a lot of energy, but no, it's not only about that.

Mike [00:39:45]:
Is that part of it?

Brian [00:39:46]:
No. I think even she had plenty of time for me. We still have our time together, and then we have our time apart, just like in a traditional marriage, too. You guys need to separate for a little bit because you're tired of your shit. Just get on my face, right. And move on and go have fun with your guys, your girls, or whatever the case might be. So it's very similar to that. But her having less time and me having more time kind of helps the situation in my hand, right.

Brian [00:40:12]:
So I'm able to spend more time with these individuals and really get to learn from them. Takes away from my time, from my wife, because then she wants to go hang out with her guys on our time, and I have to respect that.

Phillip [00:40:24]:
Right?

Brian [00:40:24]:
Because she works so much. I can't disrespect her in that way. Be like, all right, babe, so if you want to go hang out with the guy, what am I going to say, no, don't go do that. Go ahead, go have fun.

Eldar [00:40:33]:
Come for the listeners. How many girls have on the side?

Brian [00:40:37]:
Well, currently there's two. I found that if it was more than two girls, that it's a little bit hectic, mentally speaking.

Phillip [00:40:47]:
Right.

Katherine [00:40:48]:
And also, sorry to cut you off. I was just going to ask you if you've ever been overwhelmed with the attention that you have to provide for however many girls you're entertaining at the moment.

Brian [00:41:00]:
Yeah, it was rough in the beginning.

Katherine [00:41:01]:
Four.

Brian [00:41:05]:
Learning on a job.

Phillip [00:41:05]:
Right.

Brian [00:41:07]:
So at one point I had four, and that was four plus wife. Plus wife plus wife. And that was rough. Right.

Eldar [00:41:16]:
But it was fun in the beginning.

Katherine [00:41:17]:
It sounds like it could be stressful.

Anatoliy [00:41:20]:
And like a big family vacation is off limits.

Eldar [00:41:23]:
Oh, yeah. That's another question I had.

Phillip [00:41:24]:
Yes.

Brian [00:41:26]:
So, yeah, four was really hectic. Then I went down to three, and that was still kind of hectic for me. Mentally and physically. Right, physically.

Mike [00:41:37]:
Because you're juggling a lot of personal details ago.

Brian [00:41:40]:
It's hard to remember birthdays and things minor. Forget about birthdays, but I'll never remember that. But it's hard to remember minor details that they're providing. And I'll say one thing to the wrong girl, and she's like, what are you talking about? I never said that to you. I was like, oh, shit. And they usually say, well, this must.

Mike [00:41:54]:
Be a bad memory, too.

Brian [00:41:56]:
I have a shit memory, bro.

Eldar [00:41:57]:
That doesn't help, man.

Brian [00:41:58]:
Huge pothead back in the day. I can't remember shit. Right. But, yeah, so there's a specific number, right?

Phillip [00:42:05]:
There's two.

Brian [00:42:07]:
Two plus wife is the perfect amount.

Phillip [00:42:10]:
That I can handle personally.

Brian [00:42:12]:
Maybe put Mike in my situation. He might be able to handle 4540 or even 40. Mike has a memorable elephant. Yeah, right. But, yeah, it was really rough physically. That's all I got to say. Because not to say I'm hot. I'm pretty good looking.

Brian [00:42:30]:
I do provide. Over the years, I have a lot of sexual experiences that have provided me to be able to be considered sexually experienced, I guess sex God.

Mike [00:42:40]:
I don't want to be modest now.

Brian [00:42:44]:
I don't want to call it sex God. I'm good at specific things.

Eldar [00:42:47]:
Today we have a guest speaker. His name is Brian, aka sex God. I like that.

Phillip [00:42:53]:
So, to stay on this topic.

Mike [00:42:58]:
Phil.

Brian [00:42:58]:
Wants to know the website to sign up training. I got you.

Phillip [00:43:05]:
So besides the training program. So you said that you can't talk about the other experiences with the other girls. So where my head would or where my thoughts go is that. Is there a rule amongst you and your wife that you have to wear a condom or you have to do certain things? Because to me, where the conversation would go is std and pregnancy. So if you're not going to have the conversation, there has to be, like an uber amount of trust between you and your wife to say, if I'm going to have sexual experiences with these other girls, I know you said some aren't, but let's say, for the ones that are, what type of rules do you have in place that you can explore with the other person?

Phillip [00:43:44]:
Yeah.

Brian [00:43:44]:
So condoms are a huge game option.

Phillip [00:43:50]:
Right?

Brian [00:43:50]:
So we have to use condoms. I personally use, and not for nothing, even with my wife, and I love my wife very much, still use a condom with my wife even before the open marriage. That's only one of the reasons why we don't have kids.

Phillip [00:44:03]:
Right.

Brian [00:44:03]:
It's a 99.9% chance. And I've been using condoms since I was a kid.

Phillip [00:44:08]:
Right.

Brian [00:44:08]:
So it's just like a natural feeling for me without a condom. I feel super weird about it. And we've had unprotected sex, me and my wife, per se, and it felt weird. And I said, nah, let's just put this condom back on because it just feels so much better for me.

Phillip [00:44:21]:
Right.

Brian [00:44:21]:
And I think it's a mental game for me where I know how I'm protected. Most of the girls, yes. There is these rules that we have made up. It is smart, obviously, to ask our partners to provide some sort of medical data. Correct. To let us know whether or not they're clean. But how can we really have that conversation with these individuals, right. It's not a comfortable conversation, but I do have them with the girls that I see and some girls or some guys.

Brian [00:44:50]:
For her, that conversation doesn't have to happen.

Phillip [00:44:52]:
Right.

Brian [00:44:53]:
Because once you get to know that individual and know their history with females or males, then you'll understand whether or not they're either clean or not clean.

Phillip [00:45:03]:
Right.

Brian [00:45:04]:
Or if they've done the medical processing and they found out that they're clean, they're not going to provide me the paperwork.

Phillip [00:45:10]:
Right? Who am I?

Brian [00:45:12]:
Provide me paperwork showing me that you don't have any stds or anything. Who the fuck am I? Just some guy I'm about to fuck. I don't care.

Phillip [00:45:18]:
Right.

Brian [00:45:18]:
But that's just some girls. And the girls that I'm actually dating, they care about that type of situation where they definitely should. Absolutely. And they have. And they have provided that. And then I also provide the same information to them.

Phillip [00:45:31]:
Right.

Brian [00:45:31]:
Even though I'm with my wife for twelve years, I've only been having sex with her for twelve years. And then we had open relationship, and now we're having sex with other individuals.

Phillip [00:45:41]:
Yeah.

Brian [00:45:42]:
I'm getting tested.

Eldar [00:45:43]:
Okay.

Phillip [00:45:43]:
Right.

Brian [00:45:43]:
Condoms do play a huge role in what we do. On her end. She definitely doesn't want to get pregnant because she will kill that motherfucker if she does get pregnant, whoever that guy is. It's hard to figure out, I guess in her situation, maybe, I don't know. But, yeah, that's what we do. That's one of our rules.

Eldar [00:46:01]:
And how many boyfriends does she have?

Brian [00:46:03]:
She currently has one now. She had two before and just like me, right. It's a numbers game, right, to juggle. But one guy actually obtained a girlfriend and said that he could no longer see her. They still talk, they're still very friendly because they formed a very nice relationship there. But she has only currently one boyfriend.

Phillip [00:46:26]:
Right. Okay.

Eldar [00:46:28]:
And how long have these relationships been going on?

Phillip [00:46:31]:
For like a year and a half.

Eldar [00:46:34]:
You stuck with them for a year and a half?

Brian [00:46:36]:
Most of the girls that I connect with are long term. I don't like short term girls.

Eldar [00:46:41]:
Oh, wow. Because I figured it was rotation or revolving door.

Brian [00:46:46]:
So at one point, all right, so it might be exaggerating a little bit. It's not a year and a half. It might have been more like some girls that I were seeing at the time, at the beginning have stuck, right. And then I have had other women that I were seeing that I just.

Phillip [00:47:01]:
Couldn'T provide what I was able to.

Brian [00:47:03]:
Provide that I just said, all right, I can't do this anymore. And then I just kept on with the same number. Obviously, I don't want to mess myself up here, but I do see other girls here and there just to see what else. Other experiences I could get from these other individuals. And then I think to myself, well, maybe I could add another girl into the line. But then I'm like, I really fucking can't. I just can't do this to myself.

Eldar [00:47:25]:
Yeah, well, I mean, part of being a boyfriend, or maybe a good one, probably also takes them out to dinners.

Brian [00:47:32]:
Go out.

Eldar [00:47:32]:
You guys go out.

Brian [00:47:33]:
Travel.

Eldar [00:47:34]:
You guys travel, even. Look at that. That takes money.

Phillip [00:47:37]:
Yeah. Right.

Eldar [00:47:38]:
It's probably financial tolling to have 23456 girls. Unless you're caking, obviously.

Phillip [00:47:43]:
Right?

Brian [00:47:43]:
I'm not that rich.

Eldar [00:47:45]:
So it's almost like you're in the marriage and you kind of have a family, but without kids.

Phillip [00:47:50]:
Right? Yeah.

Eldar [00:47:51]:
My dog you also have to agree on the finances, right? To say, okay, cool, like, hey, wife, this pot goes to my girlfriends. You can't say anything. Right? How's that conversation?

Brian [00:48:05]:
In the beginning of our relationship, we spoke about how money is going to play in our world, right? So we don't have a pot per se together. We have our separate individual accounts.

Eldar [00:48:16]:
So whatever you do with the money is what you do with your money.

Brian [00:48:18]:
It's not a concern.

Phillip [00:48:19]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:48:20]:
Even though it probably has to be.

Brian [00:48:22]:
That way, otherwise, it is that way. Even if I had a traditional marriage, I still wouldn't want to have that joint account with her. She's a beast when it comes to spending, and I don't want to be part of that, right. Because then it's going to fall, and I already know what it's going to look like. She's hard. She's very hardworking and very dedicated to her job, and she's always pushing herself. Like, she just got herself another part time job. She has a full time and a part time.

Brian [00:48:46]:
She's been doing that for years now.

Phillip [00:48:48]:
Wow.

Brian [00:48:48]:
But she's always moving forward in her career. So she's always getting, like, she's always had a full time and had a part time, then she would go over to another full time, hold on to that part time, leave that part time, go to another part time. So she's super dedicated and financially, she's very mindful, but she loves to spend money. Like, just meaningless bullshit, right? And she's like, yo, babe, I don't know how I'm going to pay for school. And then she figures it out and she's like, okay, I'm good. But I'm like, yo, babe, if you and I ever had that same account, I would absolutely kill you. You wouldn't have access to this shit. I would give you Penny by Penny because this would kill me.

Brian [00:49:27]:
I'm very particular with money, and I like to hold on to money as possible. I'm a good saver, but I use my money on the things that I have to use them on, right? Pay bills. And I've helped her throughout the years financially to get wherever she needed to go.

Phillip [00:49:41]:
Right.

Brian [00:49:41]:
She had further surgeries done to her body, and I don't mind it, right? It's just money. If I'm making it and I have it, I'm going to give it to her. I'm not going to ask for it back. But she's like, no, I have to give it back to you. She's that type of girl, and I'm like, all right, granted, whatever you do, I don't care. How much do you owe me? Okay, cool. Pay me back when you can.

Phillip [00:50:01]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:50:01]:
I was going to ask you for an impression. So now we got it.

Brian [00:50:03]:
No, you want one? I could give you one. She goes like this, baby, but I'm going to give you the money back.

Phillip [00:50:10]:
Okay.

Brian [00:50:11]:
I'm like, okay, you could give me the money back, right? It's more like a russian thing. But she's portuguese speaking.

Phillip [00:50:16]:
I can.

Brian [00:50:17]:
In my brain, she always comes off as a russian speaking woman. Bro, everything is going to be okay. I give you money back.

Phillip [00:50:23]:
Okay, so where my head goes with the finance thing because I'm particular too. But you're the man, right? So I would assume that with most of the women that you go out with, you would handle most of the finances. So if she's going to go out, I would assume that most of the men would take care of whatever she's doing. So I would think that in these transactions that it would be a lot easier for her to date multiple people and do a lot more.

Eldar [00:50:48]:
It's more financially lucrative for her than Brian.

Brian [00:50:50]:
That's what I would think. Obviously everything's 50 50 with your girlfriends too. Everybody. Okay, everybody. No matter what, it's a thing.

Eldar [00:50:59]:
Otherwise it's not sustainable. Correct. Unless you may have so much money.

Phillip [00:51:03]:
For each, each girlfriend that you talk to. It's a 50 50 thing amongst the new people.

Brian [00:51:08]:
Yes, it's everybody.

Phillip [00:51:09]:
Oh, wow.

Brian [00:51:09]:
Everybody. It's a conversation. Not that I really have to have that conversation with these girls because they understand the concept.

Phillip [00:51:15]:
Right? Interesting.

Brian [00:51:17]:
I work, I get paid. You work, you get paid. Why am I going to spend all my money on you? It just doesn't make sense. I don't work that way. Like going to bars and paying for girls drinks.

Eldar [00:51:26]:
I don't do that. That's madness.

Brian [00:51:28]:
That is absolute madness.

Eldar [00:51:29]:
There's a cup of water.

Brian [00:51:30]:
Let's have a conversation.

Phillip [00:51:31]:
Okay.

Brian [00:51:31]:
I don't have to buy you a drink to talk to you. If you want that, you could go to the next guy and have a good time. I'm not here to pay for your drink, sweetheart.

Eldar [00:51:39]:
So solve this to me then. You get into these relationship with these girlfriends, right? And obviously you built attachments to them because you like yourself in those relationships. They like you in this relationship. However, the natural progression, let's just say for most girls, let's just say that build attachments, right? Hey, when are you moving in with me? When are you going to get married to me?

Phillip [00:51:58]:
Right.

Eldar [00:51:58]:
Is there a timeline where you're going to say, like, okay, realistically, we can just do this for maybe two, three years, and then we got to turn it off. But obviously, turning it off is also hard because you have attachments, right? They have attachments. So there's going to be a break somewhere. How do you deal with that?

Brian [00:52:15]:
Hasn't happened yet.

Phillip [00:52:16]:
Okay.

Brian [00:52:17]:
Hasn't happened yet.

Mike [00:52:18]:
Is it because you cut him off.

Brian [00:52:19]:
Before it got there or because not gotten there yet?

Eldar [00:52:24]:
Are there any hints already?

Brian [00:52:27]:
Not really, no.

Eldar [00:52:28]:
Like, hey, I want to take it to the next level, Brian, I want to move in with you. I like you so much.

Mike [00:52:31]:
They respect the rules of the engagement.

Brian [00:52:33]:
Exactly.

Eldar [00:52:34]:
So in the beginning you say, hey, I'm never going to be with you, I'm never going to move in with you, and I'm never going to love you.

Brian [00:52:42]:
They understand that the last part is different. Love, like I said earlier, is different levels of love. If you're asking me, I'm in love with these girls, I'm not in love. Do I love them? I love them because I love for who they are.

Eldar [00:52:56]:
Care for them.

Brian [00:52:57]:
I care for them as if I would care for someone else.

Phillip [00:53:00]:
Right.

Brian [00:53:01]:
The next person. I mean, I have higher care for them because I know them. I spent time with them and I have this connection with them. But love is just not.

Phillip [00:53:09]:
I love them.

Brian [00:53:10]:
I'm not in love.

Eldar [00:53:11]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:53:12]:
So do you see this as something that you can basically grow with your wife and do for the rest of your life, or do you see this as like a finite number of years that you can do it? Do you think about this?

Phillip [00:53:24]:
I don't.

Brian [00:53:25]:
I haven't thought about it even for one moment. Honestly, the way that our lives are going right now is just, there's no time to even think about things like that because we're thinking about our personal growth. When it comes to thinking about personal growth, you don't think about things like.

Phillip [00:53:37]:
That, how long these relationships are going.

Brian [00:53:40]:
To last for and why. And if they do come to me and say, hey, why don't you move in with me? Why don't you leave your wife for me? It doesn't go through my brain because at that time, these girls that I'm dating, they understand that concept. It's not a thing. They will never cross that line. And if they do cross that line.

Phillip [00:53:56]:
That'S on them, right.

Brian [00:53:57]:
They've made that oomph to go over that line and say, knowing that they shouldn't and cannot, that this is a loss. Right. One of my girlfriends actually likes to call it check in.

Phillip [00:54:12]:
Right.

Brian [00:54:12]:
She does a check in every two months. What that means to her is to make sure that I'm still interested in being with her and whether or not I still want to continue seeing her. She does the check ins. I don't do the check ins.

Eldar [00:54:23]:
What does she say? Like, how does she go about this?

Brian [00:54:25]:
She'll literally just say, check in time.

Phillip [00:54:27]:
And she'll be like, you good. How are you feeling?

Brian [00:54:30]:
I'm like, no, I feel great. I love spending time with you. I love being with you. I love being around you. I don't want this to end. She's like, well, me neither. Okay, great. So check in in the next two months.

Brian [00:54:42]:
Again, I don't know what to tell you. Stop checking in.

Eldar [00:54:44]:
Is that insecurity?

Brian [00:54:46]:
Maybe on her end. Maybe she feels like that I'll get tired of being with her. I'm not too sure what that means to her.

Katherine [00:54:54]:
Just as a female, Mike, I would think that from her end, she knows she can't have all of him. There's almost like, I have to make sure that he still wants this because I understood it. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Brian [00:55:12]:
I do understand what you're saying.

Eldar [00:55:13]:
Absolutely.

Brian [00:55:14]:
She wants to know whether there's a.

Katherine [00:55:16]:
Boundary there, so she has to check.

Eldar [00:55:18]:
100% because of the fact that she can't have a full right. She still wants to see whether or not that which she does have or had with him in the beginning is still continuing and he's upholding, I guess, his side of the promise.

Phillip [00:55:31]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:55:31]:
Or maybe she's hinting that she wants to do, like, a role play with you, or like, it's a doctor nurse thing and she's checking in.

Phillip [00:55:36]:
Maybe.

Brian [00:55:39]:
There'S a big reach. No, massive reach.

Anatoliy [00:55:44]:
When did you equate to doing this will help you personally grow?

Brian [00:55:49]:
I never thought about it as a personal growth thing for me.

Phillip [00:55:53]:
I just thought about it as a couple growth thing.

Anatoliy [00:55:58]:
So when did you equate that this would help you guys grow?

Phillip [00:56:02]:
When we got our surgeries done right.

Brian [00:56:04]:
Because we're already working on ourselves as individuals. This is when I thought about the growth for us together.

Anatoliy [00:56:12]:
How did you idea what happened for you to equate that doing this? How did you verify or how do you verify that this helps you grow together?

Brian [00:56:21]:
It was just an idea. It was an idea that grew into it eventually to knowing and by learning about what we're doing, to learn that it's a personal growth thing for us. So the conversation never was about oh, well, we're doing this for personal growth or we're going to help each other grow.

Anatoliy [00:56:40]:
But how do you know that it's personally helping you guys grow?

Brian [00:56:42]:
Currently now?

Phillip [00:56:43]:
Yeah.

Brian [00:56:44]:
Oh, well, just by how we're living, yeah.

Eldar [00:56:46]:
I thought he was happier.

Brian [00:56:47]:
Oh, absolutely.

Eldar [00:56:48]:
So if he's happier from before he wasn't happy and now he's happier, that's personal.

Phillip [00:56:52]:
No, but I thought he was asking how you get started on that. Was it kind of like you blindly go into.

Brian [00:56:57]:
Blindly go into.

Mike [00:56:58]:
Why'd you pick that avenue of growth versus some other avenue of growth?

Brian [00:57:01]:
What other avenues of growth do you have?

Eldar [00:57:03]:
Oh, good question.

Mike [00:57:04]:
This guy is going to actually tell you how this gentleman right here, he's going to tell you a different avenue or he's going to sell us russian gypsy powder.

Eldar [00:57:13]:
All right, ola, you just came in. Today we have a guest speaker, a guest friend from Mike, from childhood. His name is Brian. And Brian has actually brought a new topic that we never talked about before. I guess maybe we just never thought about it. But it's about open relationships. Brian is in an open relationship. He's in a marriage, has a wife, but he has girlfriends on the side.

Eldar [00:57:38]:
And his wife is cool with know, obviously. And he's cool with his wife having boyfriends on the side. So now we're just sitting here because we're never encountering something like this. We're picking his brain about how everything works, what's the dynamic and stuff like that. And it's very interesting.

Phillip [00:57:54]:
Right.

Eldar [00:57:54]:
Like how love works, what are the boundaries, what are the limits and stuff like that. What are the struggles? And he's been in it for about.

Phillip [00:58:02]:
A year and a half.

Eldar [00:58:04]:
We're definitely getting some insight here. So that's where we are.

Oleg C [00:58:10]:
Been in the game. I said a year and a half.

Eldar [00:58:12]:
Yes.

Phillip [00:58:13]:
My question would be looking at your experience now, like having it. You started off in the marriage twelve years ago and now you've been doing the open relationship for a year and a half. If you could do it all over again, would you want to get married or would you want to just have an open relationship without the marriage?

Phillip [00:58:32]:
Yeah.

Brian [00:58:32]:
Me and my wife talk about this actually a lot. So she needed her green card initially. It's not like that. I married her for her to have her green card. I married her because I love her. But in order for her to stay in the country, I had to do what I had to do.

Phillip [00:58:48]:
Right.

Brian [00:58:48]:
Did I love her at the time? Absolutely I did.

Phillip [00:58:51]:
Right.

Brian [00:58:52]:
And we talk about this all the time. Saying, if we had the opportunity to go back in time, would we have gotten married? No, we wouldn't have gotten married. We would have been in an open relationships throughout this whole time without the marriage portion of it all.

Phillip [00:59:06]:
I believe that would have made it even harder. Right.

Brian [00:59:09]:
Because a marriage, it gives you that line not to cross, but if your boyfriend and girlfriend, who's to say that I could just fall in love with Patricia and move on with Patricia and say bye, right. You have to have that respect there for one another where a marriage provides that utmost respect for one another where it's, yeah, I could easily leave my wife tomorrow if I wanted to and she could leave me tomorrow. But it's harder to do that because we've had this marriage.

Phillip [00:59:39]:
Right.

Brian [00:59:40]:
That's just initially, that marriage license means everything, that love that we have together means everything.

Phillip [00:59:46]:
So I was asking Tollia and we were talking, I think it was earlier today, and I was saying with marriage, when I think of marriage, I'm a single guy, but the way that I think about marriage is that if you're in a marriage with one another, you're faithful to the other person. So how do you define being faithful to the other person? When it comes to emotions and I.

Phillip [01:00:08]:
Guess sexual acts with other people. Yeah.

Brian [01:00:10]:
So faithfulness, it doesn't play anything in an open relationship. It doesn't exist.

Phillip [01:00:18]:
Right.

Brian [01:00:18]:
Because we're not cheating on each other. So we're being faithful to one another emotionally wise. You can differentiate that.

Phillip [01:00:27]:
Right.

Brian [01:00:27]:
It's hard to not feel emotions for the next person you're with. Are we unfaithful emotionally? I want to say probably yes, but it's allowed.

Phillip [01:00:40]:
But in the open relationship it is. So that's why I'm curious when it comes to the marriage, to me, the idea of a marriage, and correct me if I'm wrong, it's two people being faithful to one another.

Brian [01:00:51]:
Traditional marriages.

Phillip [01:00:52]:
In a traditional marriage you guys are.

Mike [01:00:54]:
But you guys both sign up for a traditional.

Brian [01:00:58]:
In the initial beginning, yes, but the constitution revised.

Mike [01:01:02]:
But the thing is, because they have.

Anatoliy [01:01:04]:
Agreed up the definition we were talking about. Let's look at the definition of a marriage. And it's just, it said it was a legal or formal union between two people.

Phillip [01:01:14]:
That's it.

Mike [01:01:14]:
And that union is decided by the two people faithful. You guys decide what the terms depends.

Katherine [01:01:22]:
On the religion where you have.

Anatoliy [01:01:25]:
And then we were also talking about in the muslim religion, you're allowed to have up to four wives.

Brian [01:01:35]:
I thought it was nine.

Mike [01:01:36]:
You can support them with the paper.

Anatoliy [01:01:42]:
Said four. And then it said that the only rule is that you cannot discriminate towards one or the other, and you have to give equal amount of love and financial support to all of them. So you can't have a main one.

Phillip [01:01:55]:
For example, they're all the main girls. Buy the hot one.

Oleg C [01:01:58]:
Like, nicer.

Anatoliy [01:02:00]:
But they were also saying this. Is that. Again, same thing with all of these different traditions. Like the man paying for the woman, for example, that came from back in the day when women cannot hold jobs.

Phillip [01:02:16]:
Right.

Anatoliy [01:02:17]:
And that was, like, the only thing that happened. Now we live in a society where men and women can hold jobs and work. And then I was looking at this wife thing in the muslim religion, and it said that during the time, I think, when this was being established, there was a huge war going on over there.

Eldar [01:02:39]:
Somewhere over there was a shortage of men.

Phillip [01:02:41]:
Right.

Anatoliy [01:02:41]:
What happened was there was a lot of men dying in war.

Phillip [01:02:43]:
That's right.

Anatoliy [01:02:44]:
So because there's a lot of men dying in war, they were like, the women need support. They need to.

Eldar [01:02:48]:
And they need to reproduce.

Phillip [01:02:49]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:02:49]:
They have to reproduce. So that made it okay, the video.

Phillip [01:02:52]:
My friend just sent me?

Phillip [01:02:53]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:02:53]:
That made it okay to have four wives. Because so many guys and women were not fighting in war, and so many guys were fighting in war and dying. So then they had to pretty much.

Eldar [01:03:04]:
And we have a historian who can confirm this.

Mike [01:03:07]:
You are a historian, aren't you?

Oleg C [01:03:10]:
I have not reached.

Mike [01:03:11]:
Unfortunately, you have not reached that time.

Oleg C [01:03:13]:
Islamic historian.

Mike [01:03:16]:
You're more Christianity expert?

Oleg C [01:03:18]:
Yeah, I'm more into, like, islamic jihad, that aspect of Islam. I don't know. That's interesting, because I thought you were saying, like, marriage was a byproduct of society, but, yeah, maybe this multiple wives thing. Because in general, as far as I know, by evolution, evolutionary science and all that, humans are a pair bond species. So that means usually you just have one on one. I mean, you're also trying to have your genetics passed down. So you try to spread your seed as much as possible, especially for a man, since you don't know that's your baby until it comes out. Even when it comes out, it might not look like you don't know it's your baby.

Oleg C [01:03:59]:
So just in case, to have some insurance, like you, you maybe put a baby in Catherine.

Phillip [01:04:05]:
Why.

Eldar [01:04:06]:
Sorry, why do you say like that?

Oleg C [01:04:07]:
I like talking about your guys.

Eldar [01:04:10]:
I've been trying to do that this whole time, man.

Katherine [01:04:13]:
We're trying.

Brian [01:04:13]:
Yeah, don't try.

Eldar [01:04:16]:
That's what I'm trying to do.

Phillip [01:04:22]:
Inshallah.

Oleg C [01:04:24]:
But you don't know.

Phillip [01:04:25]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:04:25]:
So just in case, you put.

Brian [01:04:32]:
Michaela and Tolia.

Phillip [01:04:34]:
Whatever.

Oleg C [01:04:34]:
And then just in case. Because what if Catherine has a baby and it looks like Phil, for example, Catherine or whatever. Any woman always knows for sure that it's her baby, right?

Phillip [01:04:51]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:04:51]:
No woman has a baby.

Eldar [01:04:53]:
Oh, that's not mine.

Mike [01:04:53]:
Who's that.

Oleg C [01:04:56]:
In general?

Eldar [01:04:57]:
Until Jerry Springer came out.

Mike [01:04:59]:
Yeah, that's true. Wait, some lady.

Eldar [01:05:01]:
That is not your baby.

Mike [01:05:02]:
There was some lady.

Eldar [01:05:03]:
You are not the father.

Mike [01:05:04]:
There was some lady who didn't know she was pregnant for a mad long time. She wanted to take a dump.

Phillip [01:05:09]:
Oh, my God.

Eldar [01:05:14]:
She wants to take a dump, right?

Brian [01:05:17]:
Yeah, she had a baby in the toilet. There's a real story, guys.

Mike [01:05:21]:
What are you talking about?

Brian [01:05:23]:
What are you talking about?

Phillip [01:05:24]:
This is a real story. I believe you.

Eldar [01:05:26]:
I know that in Mike. This is a real story.

Phillip [01:05:37]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:05:37]:
The evolutionary thing is also why men pay her for women. Man would hunt the animal. Woman does all the shit at home, making the.

Brian [01:05:44]:
That's that traditional thought mind. Right?

Phillip [01:05:47]:
Yes. All right.

Oleg C [01:05:49]:
One thing I think it's like programmed this evolutionary, which I think is why for people, open relationships is such like, whoa, what the fuck? Because it's so unnatural for us to, I guess, perceive.

Phillip [01:06:01]:
But.

Oleg C [01:06:04]:
Psychology in humans is also different. You have a big spectrum of different psychology and people. Like, if you look at the big five personality model, there's one openness to experience. So most of the time, I would imagine if they did a test, the big five, most people who are either swingers or open relationship, they would probably have a high openness to experience, which is true.

Brian [01:06:28]:
That's the assumption.

Phillip [01:06:29]:
Right.

Oleg C [01:06:30]:
Well, we're a lot of tattoos and interesting places and colors. That's also usually a sign.

Eldar [01:06:37]:
It's high risk openness to experience.

Oleg C [01:06:39]:
Yeah, not as much high risk, high risk, low risk is, I think, more conscientiousness. But yeah, I mean, that also plays into.

Anatoliy [01:06:47]:
You would not insure him if you.

Brian [01:06:49]:
Owned an insurance company, is what you're saying. Well, he doesn't know my adventure level.

Eldar [01:06:57]:
He's a very. We were just talking about that.

Brian [01:07:03]:
So we're safe. We're safe on that, right? We're very safe when it comes to. Oh, I don't have to pray.

Phillip [01:07:11]:
We're good.

Eldar [01:07:13]:
Yeah. So, guys, any more questions to Brian? Anybody confused about anything?

Oleg C [01:07:18]:
I didn't hear the whole.

Brian [01:07:20]:
You missed out on everything.

Eldar [01:07:21]:
Yeah, I mean, we had a hard time with Brian's take on. He has a very clear line that he tells his girlfriends that they cannot cross and that he will not cross. There is a line.

Phillip [01:07:34]:
Right.

Eldar [01:07:35]:
And he used the word love, obviously, which is hard to define, that he's not allowed to fall in love with them. He might love pussy for sure, but he's not in love. He cannot fall in love with them emotionally.

Phillip [01:07:48]:
Right.

Eldar [01:07:49]:
Because that's like a no no, but everything else kind of goes.

Oleg C [01:07:54]:
Everything is allowed as long as you don't fall in love emotionally.

Brian [01:07:57]:
Correct.

Oleg C [01:07:58]:
Emotional connection.

Phillip [01:07:59]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:07:59]:
So there is an emotional connection that passing that line of in love is a no no in our world, at.

Anatoliy [01:08:06]:
Least, where you can have love for them.

Phillip [01:08:08]:
Correct.

Brian [01:08:09]:
Having love for someone and being in love are two different things. I could love you, but I'm not.

Phillip [01:08:14]:
In love with you. Right? Yes.

Brian [01:08:20]:
Right.

Phillip [01:08:20]:
So I think your emotional IQ, your emotional IQ or your control as you're going through this has to be very high because me as a guy, I mean, guys are supposed to be strong. I would consider myself like a sensitive guy when it comes to feelings and sexual feelings. If I'm with somebody, I'm going to feel something like very crying every time.

Eldar [01:08:43]:
He puts a tip in.

Phillip [01:08:45]:
Always.

Brian [01:08:49]:
Exactly.

Phillip [01:08:50]:
So I would say if I'm doing that with multiple people simultaneously and then I'm having to basically cut the pie and differentiate between what the ultimate love is versus what feelings are, I don't think that I would be able to do it in truth. So if I would maybe say that I could do this, it was probably my younger self doing it and then saying I wanted to do it, but for other reasons where maybe I wanted to show off or say I wanted to do it so I can show other people that I can get other girls or whatever, but I genuinely didn't want it. I think I was always like a relationship guy at heart, but now thinking about it, now I'm 37 and I'm single and when I'm dating, I can't imagine myself doing it. So I guess as you're doing it more, are you finding it that it's easier to be more open emotionally and vulnerable? Is your IQ and emotional IQ strengthening? Or do you feel like it's like diluting and you're almost like numb to.

Phillip [01:09:51]:
It at a point?

Eldar [01:09:52]:
Well, it's an interesting question.

Brian [01:09:53]:
It is. And I have a question regarding that to you. Is it every time that you have sex, is there emotions or do you sometimes want to fuck just a fuck just to get that nut out? I do.

Phillip [01:10:06]:
And I actually had an example recently where I did meet somebody and we had a conversation. So the conversation was something along the lines of she was telling me that some people are meant to have relationships, and then some are meant to just be physical as long as there's a respect on the boundary. And that kind of, like, helped my boundary go down. And I felt good. Ultimately, the connection wasn't there, but I was able to have sex with her. And I realized kind of after, as a result of our non intellectual connection, that I didn't feel anything there. I would be lying if I said there wasn't emotions involved when I was having sex with her, but there wasn't love there. And to me, without that, I can't grow, and I can't keep that thing going.

Phillip [01:10:52]:
So I don't know if that answered your question, but I would say there's emotions there. But if there's not true love or anything there, I can't just keep having sex where it's just like a motion.

Eldar [01:11:02]:
That's you. You haven't grown to Brian's level yet.

Phillip [01:11:05]:
That's why I'm asking what his emotional brilliant question.

Phillip [01:11:09]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:11:09]:
Like, the more you do it, do you become more, like, practiced in it where it starts?

Phillip [01:11:13]:
That's what I'm saying.

Brian [01:11:13]:
Is it more of an intelligence, robotic numbness to worry? Yeah, that's why I'm asking. Yeah. Over time, you do become numb to the idea of all that.

Phillip [01:11:21]:
Yeah. Okay.

Brian [01:11:22]:
That's what I figured. But my sex is emotional sex as well.

Phillip [01:11:26]:
I mean, to me, with your wife.

Brian [01:11:27]:
Or with the girlfriends, all the above.

Phillip [01:11:29]:
So how do you separate that?

Brian [01:11:32]:
It's hard to separate those, because any sexual app is one becoming two and having those emotions there. Right. It's an extension of our bodies that are going inside of a female that it's always going to have some.

Eldar [01:11:49]:
The nerve ending.

Brian [01:11:50]:
Of course.

Phillip [01:11:52]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:11:52]:
You can get a prostitute, have sex, and be like, all right, well, I'm paying you to leave, thank you very much, and bust a nut. But those guys have emotions, too. There's a reason why they're paying for that girl to have sex with them, because their lack of specific emotions. So they need this to have that emotional contact with them. The more that I do it.

Phillip [01:12:11]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:12:11]:
I become more of a practiced individual in this world where the emotions are nearly the same as if I was having sex with my girlfriend and as my wife. But like I said, there's that level of my wife having sex and my girlfriend's having sex. I might do different things with my girlfriends than I do with my wife.

Phillip [01:12:32]:
Right.

Brian [01:12:32]:
Because emotionally speaking, one deserves to get pounded out, maybe. And one doesn't.

Eldar [01:12:38]:
Not behaving themselves?

Brian [01:12:39]:
Well, yeah. Kiss my kids at that mouth.

Phillip [01:12:48]:
Where's that numbness that you refer to?

Brian [01:12:50]:
Where does that play?

Phillip [01:12:51]:
Does that come into play more so with the girlfriend or more so with.

Brian [01:12:54]:
The wife or a little bit of both? It's a little bit of both.

Phillip [01:12:57]:
So can you give me an example of like, let's say now you've been in it for a year and a half. What would an example look like with your wife? Where there is that numbness applied, where maybe it would kind of deter you from having your growth and then same thing with your girlfriend.

Brian [01:13:10]:
It's a hard question.

Phillip [01:13:11]:
Tell you truth.

Brian [01:13:13]:
I would actually have to think about that one.

Oleg C [01:13:15]:
Are these long term girlfriends?

Brian [01:13:17]:
These are long term, yeah.

Eldar [01:13:18]:
And I was asking about the long term thing. Sooner or later, there's going to be a break somewhere, right.

Phillip [01:13:23]:
Where they're grown.

Eldar [01:13:25]:
Unless they just want to be girlfriends for rest of their lives. I don't see how girls, I don't find any girl that wants to build a future, move in together and have kids, maybe get married and all that stuff. They're going to hit that fork in the road, right? And they're going to ask him that question, like, seems like maybe can't do.

Anatoliy [01:13:42]:
Fine with having the lifespan on them, those girls.

Phillip [01:13:46]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:13:47]:
There just might be a lifespan.

Eldar [01:13:49]:
That's what I'm saying. There is a lifespan, but there might.

Brian [01:13:51]:
Be an expiration date, which you don't know when it is.

Eldar [01:13:53]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:13:53]:
I've had an experience with one of my girlfriends from before where I help her find a boyfriend.

Phillip [01:14:01]:
Right.

Brian [01:14:01]:
I want her to grow. Everyone that I'm with, I want them to grow just as if I want my wife to grow up. I'm not going to stop you from finding what you want. So I helped out as much as I possibly can for her to find what she's looking for. I'm a great interim. I'm glad to be your interim. Whatever makes you happy.

Phillip [01:14:19]:
I don't care.

Brian [01:14:20]:
As long as I get my experience out of you. That's all I'm doing it for, is that experience.

Eldar [01:14:26]:
So you really like this role, this helper La role?

Brian [01:14:29]:
The ones that I'm seeing? No. Do they see other men? Probably. I don't ask questions. I don't care.

Phillip [01:14:34]:
Right.

Brian [01:14:35]:
It's none of my concern. They could do whatever their heart desires just as I can. If I wanted to go out and meet two, three girls right now, I could. And what are they going to say?

Phillip [01:14:44]:
But you have those rules with the girlfriends, too, with the condom and all. That stuff, too.

Mike [01:14:48]:
They do that.

Phillip [01:14:49]:
So they're doing their due diligence with the other guys that they meet.

Brian [01:14:52]:
So if they hope so, guys, I'm hoping so.

Phillip [01:14:54]:
That's the ultimate trust everybody gets.

Brian [01:14:56]:
That is an ultimate trust thing. And I think the time that we've spent together, they understand that trust process there where they should be doing that. Can I force them into doing that? Absolutely not. You could go have unprotected sex, and in an example, I'll give you one now, swan girl, seeing currently, she decided one night to have unprotected sex with a guy that she used to have sex with. And I didn't find out until after the fact. And then I use condoms. It doesn't matter, right. But for me, it's disgusting in a sense, right? You have to tell me these things if you're going to have unprotected sex with somebody.

Brian [01:15:31]:
Especially, I don't know this guy. Even if I did know this guy, I still want you to use protection for yourself, number one. And for me, number two, because I go home to my wife. I'm not trying to give anything to my wife. If my wife receives any sort of stds, it's game over.

Phillip [01:15:47]:
Gigs up, done, game over.

Brian [01:15:51]:
I'm going to be number.

Eldar [01:15:52]:
Shutting down the shop.

Phillip [01:15:53]:
Oh, the shop is shut. Right.

Brian [01:15:55]:
First, I'm going to kill that girl.

Phillip [01:15:56]:
All right.

Brian [01:15:57]:
Absolutely. I'm going to fucking kill her. And then I'll get killed by my wife.

Phillip [01:16:01]:
Right.

Brian [01:16:01]:
And it goes the same for my wife as well. If she ever brings shit, we'll remove.

Eldar [01:16:06]:
That part, Z. Yeah.

Brian [01:16:12]:
But, yeah, it'd be game over from there. And I do have trust in these girls, and it's all I could ever have is trust. I can't force them.

Oleg C [01:16:19]:
So you never have sex without a condom ever?

Brian [01:16:22]:
Even with my own wife, I think.

Oleg C [01:16:24]:
It'S better maybe to date one girl without a condom.

Brian [01:16:26]:
No, my wife.

Phillip [01:16:27]:
My wife.

Eldar [01:16:28]:
Okay, little expert over here.

Brian [01:16:30]:
So while my wife was on the pills, even in the poop of stinker.

Eldar [01:16:38]:
Okay, cool.

Phillip [01:16:41]:
It's actually a scientific term, actually.

Brian [01:16:44]:
Yeah, pooper stinker. Okay. But when my wife was on the pills, we would have unprotected sex. Her and I. I find it to be not ultimately great. Because all my years as a kid, I would always rap to Johnny.

Phillip [01:16:58]:
Right.

Brian [01:16:59]:
And always mentally, for me, if I'm not wearing one, I'm not enjoying it, I swear to you. It's just not the same feeling because you're getting paid. I should be, dude. I fucking should be.

Phillip [01:17:11]:
You have the opposite mindset of every man that I've ever heard.

Brian [01:17:15]:
That because my experience growing up and how my parents input this information in my brain early on kind of led on to this life that I'm living now.

Phillip [01:17:24]:
Right.

Brian [01:17:24]:
And my mom had miscarriages. And not to say my mother was a whore at the time, but she was. She was not a whore per se. She was just very sexually experienced.

Phillip [01:17:36]:
Right? Yeah.

Brian [01:17:36]:
Very promiscuous. And I don't judge my mom for being promiscuous. I don't care. That's her life. She could do whatever she wants. As long she had me and my sister, we're good to go.

Phillip [01:17:44]:
Right.

Brian [01:17:44]:
But she had miscarriages. And she always taught me, hey, listen, always wear a condom, always ask questions.

Mike [01:17:51]:
What if you're trying to have a kid?

Oleg C [01:17:54]:
Were the miscarriages as a result of promiscuity?

Brian [01:17:57]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:17:58]:
What?

Brian [01:17:59]:
Well, I mean, she's had whatever sex, unprotected, old school russian woman. Right. Condoms weren't a thing until they came to America.

Phillip [01:18:09]:
Right.

Brian [01:18:10]:
So back in the day, she was.

Eldar [01:18:16]:
Found in a cabbage patch the ostrich brought you.

Oleg C [01:18:26]:
Okay, so, like, lots of sex causes miscarriage.

Brian [01:18:30]:
No, it was just that she had miscarriage, not to say due to having ultimately as much sex as she did. But if she had a condom at that point, she wouldn't have to worry about being, number one, pregnant. And number two, going through a miscarriage. Not to say miscarriage was something that she chose to do, because that's not something you choose to do, but it happened. But if she was happy not having a kid at the time and there was a way to stop it, she probably would have done it. That's what I'm trying to say. So she said in order for you to be protected in a way, to not have to go through the history that I have. Number two, maybe have someone get pregnant without them wanting to be pregnant.

Brian [01:19:10]:
This is the path. And I've wore condoms since I was a kid, and I wouldn't know the difference. I mean, I have. It's not that great. I don't understand it. There's no that extra warmth feeling I could get with the condom, too. But men, you do that thing at.

Oleg C [01:19:25]:
The end where you take it.

Brian [01:19:33]:
I bring it out, apparently.

Eldar [01:19:34]:
Listen, all right, so, Brian, tell us what you look for when you are searching for a new.

Brian [01:19:39]:
Sure, sure. So intelligence plays a huge role in what I look for.

Phillip [01:19:44]:
Right.

Brian [01:19:44]:
I have to be able to have a conversation with you and feel that you're intellectual. Right. And I spoke to somebody the other day, your career wise also kind of makes a thing for me.

Phillip [01:19:57]:
Right.

Brian [01:19:57]:
So I'm at a level, at my age where I'm making good money, my career is a pretty decent mid level whatever it is that you want to consider. Right. And I don't seek out women who work at Wendy's or caravel or whatever. Carvell is good. I like it. How do I know this? I don't. Or Burger King or something like that.

Mike [01:20:20]:
You don't like the smell of hot food?

Brian [01:20:22]:
Definitely not on girls Bros. I'm trying to date them. You're bringing nuggets to me? Maybe. I don't know. I don't find women to be in that sort of level of work, to be at my level intellectually. Not to say that they couldn't be.

Eldar [01:20:38]:
Yeah. It's just usually that's the correlation.

Phillip [01:20:40]:
Right? Correct.

Eldar [01:20:41]:
They have a good career, they probably can hold a conversation.

Phillip [01:20:43]:
Right.

Brian [01:20:43]:
Entry level, not so intelligent.

Phillip [01:20:46]:
Right.

Brian [01:20:46]:
And who's to say that? And I date young girls that they're just at that point in life that they just had an entry level job.

Eldar [01:20:52]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:20:53]:
I just don't like it.

Phillip [01:20:54]:
Right.

Brian [01:20:55]:
I don't want to date somebody that works. I don't want to talk to you. If you work at Wendy's, what kind of conversation are we going to have? Dave's whopper. I don't know, bro.

Mike [01:21:04]:
They have a vast majority. And seasonal.

Phillip [01:21:09]:
I don't think you could be a.

Brian [01:21:10]:
Young philosopher working at Wendy's.

Phillip [01:21:12]:
I'm just saying. Yeah.

Mike [01:21:13]:
What about pumping gas?

Eldar [01:21:20]:
What else? Intelligence. What else do you like? What are you looking out for? What's your attraction criteria, physical attributes? And are you always looking?

Phillip [01:21:30]:
I'm always.

Brian [01:21:30]:
I'm constantly looking.

Eldar [01:21:31]:
You're constantly looking? Hold on 1 second. Your question is not as important. Have a seat.

Phillip [01:21:36]:
Hold on.

Eldar [01:21:37]:
Your question is not important. We have to come back to it for sure. Just hold on.

Brian [01:21:41]:
It's important. In a minute or so.

Eldar [01:21:43]:
If you're constantly looking, it's almost showing you that there's something constantly missing. Right. So if you're always looking, you know what you're looking for, you just can't find it.

Brian [01:21:55]:
I found it in most of the girls that I'm dating. It's just that I'm also trying to find new experiences as well.

Anatoliy [01:22:00]:
Yeah, see, you have a problem with my question?

Eldar [01:22:03]:
What?

Anatoliy [01:22:04]:
No, I agree with your question, but I'm trying to figure out how do we address something missing versus the word growth? Yeah, because you could just say infinitely like, I'm looking to grow and then you just.

Eldar [01:22:18]:
That's it.

Anatoliy [01:22:20]:
Growth is an infinite realm.

Mike [01:22:24]:
How are you going to just grab one for yourself? Like, yo. Yeah, put it about everybody else.

Eldar [01:22:30]:
Real quick.

Brian [01:22:31]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:22:34]:
I like the question.

Phillip [01:22:40]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:22:40]:
I'm having a hard time being able to understand where Brian stands on growth versus something missing. Because if all they're saying, do you think that something's missing? Brian's going to say, no, I'm just looking to grow.

Phillip [01:23:03]:
Right.

Anatoliy [01:23:03]:
So I'm having a hard time.

Brian [01:23:05]:
So cancel that.

Phillip [01:23:06]:
Right.

Brian [01:23:07]:
I'm not even looking to grow at this point.

Phillip [01:23:08]:
Right.

Brian [01:23:08]:
Because I've grown already. I'm looking for experiences now.

Mike [01:23:12]:
But the question, see, the question I have to ask is it because what.

Eldar [01:23:15]:
Have you not experienced?

Mike [01:23:16]:
Yes.

Oleg C [01:23:17]:
Why does a mountain climber always look for another mountain?

Brian [01:23:19]:
For another mountain. Correct.

Mike [01:23:20]:
What are they looking for?

Brian [01:23:21]:
What is for new experiences? That's it.

Eldar [01:23:24]:
For the experience of what?

Brian [01:23:25]:
Just being with somebody.

Mike [01:23:26]:
Are you looking for new challenges in all areas of your life or just this one specifically?

Brian [01:23:30]:
No, just this one.

Mike [01:23:32]:
So then it's not just this is something specific, this experience.

Brian [01:23:35]:
Very specific.

Mike [01:23:36]:
But how come you're not looking for growth or experience in other areas?

Brian [01:23:39]:
No, I'm doing that for myself. The question is, what I'm doing, is it giving me the growth that I need? That's a separate question.

Phillip [01:23:48]:
Right.

Brian [01:23:48]:
I am providing my own growth to myself in the matter where, if it's a career path, I'm pushing myself. Not only am I pushing myself, I have a wife that pushes me as well to be better. Do I have girlfriends that push me to be better? Absolutely. So in that world, these girls or these experiences are also helping me mold who I am today.

Eldar [01:24:09]:
So can you share some of those?

Anatoliy [01:24:11]:
No, I was going to ask, so do you feel that you're unable to challenge yourself in the way that these new experiences potentially would?

Brian [01:24:21]:
I feel like if I didn't have these experiences, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Anatoliy [01:24:25]:
Okay, so you have a difficulty in challenging yourself. So you continue having new experiences to continue to challenge yourself.

Brian [01:24:34]:
Absolutely. It helps throughout my path in life to challenge myself better when I am with others and my wife included. Because we challenge each other every single day of our lives, right. We always trying to push each other, but having these extra individuals in our lives, just like as friends.

Phillip [01:24:53]:
Right.

Brian [01:24:53]:
You push each other as a whole to become better individuals. These are just an extension of my friends. They are my goal. The end goal is just to enjoy life and be happy.

Phillip [01:25:04]:
Okay.

Brian [01:25:04]:
That's the end goal.

Oleg C [01:25:05]:
Swinging. Can I call it swinging?

Brian [01:25:08]:
No, what we do is not swinging.

Mike [01:25:10]:
Well, you can call it that if you want.

Phillip [01:25:13]:
You put your credit cards in, like.

Brian [01:25:14]:
A jar, go to a party. That'd be kind of hot, too, though. Whatever credit card you pick, that's a.

Oleg C [01:25:19]:
Girl in a jar.

Phillip [01:25:21]:
And then, like, how do you know about that? I pick them up and then we.

Phillip [01:25:24]:
Go into a room.

Phillip [01:25:26]:
If you pick up my credit card.

Phillip [01:25:27]:
I lived in LA, Philip.

Eldar [01:25:29]:
Okay, fine. Say no more.

Phillip [01:25:35]:
But you're willingly going to this party. Like, I'm not just showing up to your house. You're putting your keys in there. And if I pull out your keys, like me, and you're going into this room, not me.

Mike [01:25:44]:
How many times you been, Philip?

Brian [01:25:45]:
What's this?

Oleg C [01:25:46]:
Yeah, how many of these you done?

Mike [01:25:47]:
How many of these you done?

Brian [01:25:49]:
Why wasn't I invited? God damn it.

Phillip [01:25:51]:
I have a real question. Do you think that you value variety over growth?

Brian [01:25:57]:
Great question.

Mike [01:25:58]:
That's a woke question.

Phillip [01:26:04]:
This totally made a point. And he's saying that you're having a tough time, or you're not able to do this type of growth with your wife or on your own. So you're having a look for other people. So the way that I'm seeing is that I like variety also. But in this case, it's, to me, an extreme version where you're associating growth with all these other people, and you have basically, like, a piece of the puzzle with each of them, where I would say a traditional marriage would then fully rely on each other or themselves. So to me, I think you're maybe accomplishing the same thing. You have the idea of the same thing in terms of growth and maybe love, but you're just able to then say, I don't want it with just one, or you're not having it with one. I'm going to have it with multiple.

Phillip [01:26:52]:
So is variety something that's very important to you?

Phillip [01:26:54]:
Absolutely. Yeah.

Eldar [01:26:54]:
Hold on. And to build on that, Philip and Brian, it almost sounds like you hit a plateau, and then you have to go look somewhere else.

Brian [01:27:04]:
Now, that's just me being me. I'm a hound dog.

Phillip [01:27:07]:
Right?

Brian [01:27:08]:
So I like women. I love women. Just all men that aren't gay. And I'd like to have the variety of different women as much as possible.

Phillip [01:27:17]:
Right?

Brian [01:27:17]:
And we all have a list of women that we all like to bang, right? The Asian.

Mike [01:27:22]:
Well, that's your list.

Brian [01:27:23]:
Yeah, we all have a list of these things.

Mike [01:27:25]:
Whether or not, let's get fair notes.

Eldar [01:27:27]:
Why you get all uncomfortable. Look, if you like granny porn, bro, right now there's the time to be okay with opening this kind of shit up with you, man.

Brian [01:27:38]:
You don't have a list? Really? You don't feel like, oh, I want to have that one asian girl.

Oleg C [01:27:43]:
Oh, yeah.

Brian [01:27:44]:
So this is the list that I'm.

Oleg C [01:27:45]:
Granny porn star before I die type thing, right?

Eldar [01:27:49]:
We're going to arrange that right now. You got it.

Brian [01:27:55]:
But the variety also comes with the idea of having experiences with these variety of girls.

Phillip [01:28:01]:
Right?

Brian [01:28:02]:
I don't want to just fuck them. It'd be nice, right?

Eldar [01:28:05]:
You like the chase?

Brian [01:28:08]:
Mike could tell you a story that we just had just yesterday about. Remember the girl at the office?

Eldar [01:28:13]:
Please tell. Yeah, yeah, we did.

Mike [01:28:16]:
We did have a very funny situation. Office. You guys probably don't know about it.

Eldar [01:28:22]:
No.

Brian [01:28:23]:
Now, you know, outside of this address, is it the same couch in this office? This type of couch?

Eldar [01:28:33]:
He's about to get banned from algorithm bro.

Mike [01:28:36]:
No, I have a virtual office that I have mail sent to so I can register my business in Paramus. And I never been there. I never been there. But the lady said, I have some mail there. So I went there to pick it up, thinking it was something important. And we come there, and there's a lady sitting there, and she's very voluptuous.

Eldar [01:28:55]:
She's out of control. That got Brian's ears perked up.

Brian [01:28:58]:
Oh, no, I got both our ears perked. Both your ears perked up?

Eldar [01:29:02]:
So this is about to go. Tag teaming is allowed in open relationship.

Brian [01:29:05]:
Oh, Eiffel Tower. All day, baby. Just hold hands.

Phillip [01:29:08]:
I think the proper term is spit roast.

Brian [01:29:10]:
Oh, spit roast.

Mike [01:29:11]:
Okay.

Brian [01:29:12]:
Excuse you.

Oleg C [01:29:13]:
More like.

Mike [01:29:14]:
Yes. So we come in there, and Brian is going to tell you the rest of.

Eldar [01:29:19]:
He's not the wingman.

Brian [01:29:19]:
Why am I going to tell you?

Mike [01:29:26]:
Brian started talking to this lady, saying certain funny things, very provocative things, and.

Brian [01:29:32]:
It wasn't that prerogative for sure.

Eldar [01:29:35]:
Don't get him in trouble here. I'm very flirty.

Brian [01:29:39]:
Very flirty.

Mike [01:29:42]:
Let's just say she was on a call with somebody looking for my mail because she couldn't find it. And she goes, Brian says something.

Eldar [01:29:49]:
What did you say?

Mike [01:29:50]:
She said, she doesn't know what he said.

Brian [01:29:58]:
Here we go.

Eldar [01:29:59]:
Here goes the cat's.

Brian [01:30:25]:
You said, am I buddy Brian? And I'm like, yeah, I'm the handsome redhead. And she's like, oh, does the curtains match the drape?

Katherine [01:30:32]:
No, she said that.

Phillip [01:30:33]:
She said that to me.

Brian [01:30:35]:
And I said, yes. And I said, would you like to find out? And she said, okay. And then we kind of went on further with the conversation. And what Mike means by voluptuous is that she's a hispanic woman with a fake fat ass and big tits.

Phillip [01:30:53]:
Okay.

Brian [01:30:53]:
Fake fat ass and big tits.

Mike [01:30:56]:
That's your dream?

Oleg C [01:30:57]:
Fat black sake.

Brian [01:30:57]:
No, that's not her.

Mike [01:31:05]:
There's a professional place. Semi.

Eldar [01:31:08]:
Okay.

Brian [01:31:08]:
This was inside of a hospital facility, actually.

Mike [01:31:13]:
Yeah. It's like hospital facility.

Brian [01:31:15]:
And they have offices in this facility.

Phillip [01:31:17]:
Right.

Brian [01:31:18]:
So this is a very professional. We walk in there, and he's looking for his mail.

Eldar [01:31:23]:
Do you understand this? Wait, time out. What did he just fucking say? He said, it's a professional medical facility. My man's getting mail, bro.

Brian [01:31:30]:
Yeah, bro. What kind of virtual office does he have? I attested this.

Phillip [01:31:35]:
I was in the car with Mike and Brian because we went to lunch, and Mike was saying to Brian, I have two things to do. And one of them did involve getting mail.

Phillip [01:31:44]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:31:44]:
From the medical office.

Phillip [01:31:45]:
No, professional medical.

Eldar [01:31:46]:
So I had to go to my office.

Phillip [01:31:49]:
He gave him two options to like, hey, do you want to hang?

Phillip [01:31:51]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:31:52]:
And I chose both. And you chose both? I chose both.

Phillip [01:31:54]:
I do remember this. This is excellent.

Brian [01:31:58]:
So I'm wrapping it to the girl. I'm giving her whatever sweet nothings.

Mike [01:32:03]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:32:04]:
Giving that sweet tea and shit. I'm a handsome redhead. People won't know until they see me. And then Mike is like, yo, what's good? I was like, nah, bro. I have no interest in legit. Once you see someone and have a conversation, you already automatically know that they're just not for you. Even if I had the opportunity of taking her back and smashing it, I would not do it.

Phillip [01:32:26]:
Yeah, right?

Oleg C [01:32:26]:
You got a whiff of wendy's offer.

Mike [01:32:28]:
Yeah, she's fake.

Brian [01:32:33]:
Like, but she said something else other than that. She said two things. She said, does the curtains match the drape? That was one thing. And the second one, do you remember what it was?

Phillip [01:32:45]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:32:46]:
You don't.

Brian [01:32:46]:
It was something. Some next level.

Mike [01:32:48]:
I don't remember. You guys don't understand. I actually have very bad memory.

Katherine [01:32:58]:
I don't believe it.

Brian [01:32:59]:
Whatever it was, it was so very unprofessional to say something of that sort in that world pretty well that she said, absolutely.

Eldar [01:33:07]:
You almost wanted to file a complaint.

Brian [01:33:09]:
No, not me. I would never. Mike definitely wanted to get my mail at. Bro, you can't be doing this shit here.

Eldar [01:33:16]:
I got to see her tomorrow.

Brian [01:33:17]:
Yeah, so that's just one of the stories as to how I approach my women too, right? Mike and I spoke a little bit further about this. If I really like a girl, it's really hard to approach them and have a good conversation with them, because it's like, I'm afraid to have a conversation with them. I get super nervous, and that has to play with my old self. Right. My old self. As a big dude, I can't approach with you.

Phillip [01:33:43]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:33:44]:
I was 475 at one point. I'm now, like, at 265, 275, whatever the case might be. Basically two.

Mike [01:33:51]:
It was crazy.

Brian [01:33:52]:
I'm a big dude generally, as you could see, but imagine twice the size. It was just huge.

Mike [01:33:56]:
Ever since we know each other for, like, over 20 years, I've been always been a big.

Anatoliy [01:34:00]:
He was overweight.

Phillip [01:34:00]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:34:00]:
So in the last four years, I've had surgery, 30 years. I got better do the gym, all that. Yeah, I got the sleep.

Phillip [01:34:06]:
So what are your thoughts on, say, just, like, a traditional pimp.

Eldar [01:34:13]:
Do you.

Phillip [01:34:13]:
Have a respect for something like this, or do you think that there's a fine line between having them and having a monetary element to mean, in my head, I'm thinking of a Dave Chappelle skit or something like this. Or I'm thinking about him talking about it. I think he referred to, like, a book or something about pimps. I don't know what the terminology that he used, but I'm just thinking of my idea of what that is, and I'm understanding that the only thing that would separate you from that is that it's not transactional and that there is a feeling involved. So it's not a business.

Eldar [01:34:47]:
Yeah, but pimp makes money, but they're not, like, make money off their girls. I don't think he's doing that.

Phillip [01:34:52]:
But they're saying to me, the only difference between his relationship and that would be that there is no financial.

Mike [01:34:58]:
But there is emotional connection, too.

Phillip [01:35:00]:
But there is an emotional connection, but.

Brian [01:35:02]:
Some emotional sex, and some of it he does.

Phillip [01:35:05]:
So I guess. What is your thought towards that? Because I think that's, like, one step. So to me, it's like you have a marriage, and then you have the open relationship you have, and then I think there's a pimp, and then there's a business element to it. So I think there's, like you said, there's a boyfriend experience, and there's something that you can offer. Like, if you go to Vegas.

Mike [01:35:23]:
Are you saying the pimping is the. He's like, you call him the providing?

Brian [01:35:28]:
I'm saying emotional pimping.

Phillip [01:35:30]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:35:30]:
I asked him in the beginning, if you remember the first question or one of the first questions I asked him, is there some type of transaction involved, because the way that you were talking about it is you're providing a service to a lot of these girls.

Mike [01:35:42]:
I think he changes the word.

Brian [01:35:44]:
Maybe it's not a service per se.

Phillip [01:35:45]:
Right.

Brian [01:35:45]:
Because he's doing God's word po thing, or where I'm giving them a specific amount.

Eldar [01:35:50]:
The actual girlfriends, they're girlfriends.

Brian [01:35:52]:
If you were dating a girl.

Phillip [01:35:54]:
But the only thing that separates that is that there's no financial transaction like the way that you're describing. That's exactly what I'm saying is the way that you're describing it. I think you can easily say that you could charge for something like this, because on the other hand, if you go to Amsterdam, you go to Las Vegas, you go to another place.

Eldar [01:36:11]:
If there's a girl, if you're the.

Phillip [01:36:12]:
Girl and you say, hey, I'm charging for a girlfriend experience, if I went to Vegas, you would be able to charge for that and market that and.

Eldar [01:36:19]:
Be that you're about to put them onto something.

Phillip [01:36:21]:
No.

Brian [01:36:21]:
Well, I actually thought about doing.

Phillip [01:36:24]:
Just.

Phillip [01:36:25]:
Saying what is, in this case, if you remove the emotional element, and then you put in a financial element, there's more of a transaction. That's, to me, the difference. So to me, he's one step away from that.

Brian [01:36:41]:
You're not wrong, exactly.

Anatoliy [01:36:44]:
You know what I mean?

Phillip [01:36:45]:
There's a transaction, but there's sex, and there's still emotions involved. Now, he might be the one to actually be having the emotions. So you might be the pimp that's having.

Mike [01:36:54]:
Yeah, but the thing is, experience is more like experience. When you say experience, it's more of like a disingenuous thing. I think you're exchanging money for a certain experience here. There's no money, and he's not acting like, hey, you go to a strip club, they're all nice to you. That's an experience. That's like a pimping thing. He's not going there and pretending he cares about them. I think he genuinely does care about questioning.

Phillip [01:37:18]:
I'm not questioning that part. All I'm saying is that it's one step remove where in his situation, if it is a genuine feeling, then you should be able to charge even more money.

Mike [01:37:27]:
Brian, I think he's trying to sell you.

Brian [01:37:30]:
I thought about actually doing this not only for myself, but even you. I could have you as one of my hosts, per se.

Phillip [01:37:39]:
Right.

Mike [01:37:40]:
But I wouldn't consider you as Oleg is available too.

Phillip [01:37:42]:
Right?

Brian [01:37:42]:
And I would sell him. So I wouldn't sell you sexually. I would have services for emotions, for the boyfriend experience.

Phillip [01:37:51]:
Right.

Brian [01:37:51]:
Where older women would pay for this or not even older women.

Mike [01:37:53]:
Widows.

Katherine [01:37:54]:
Widows, they do this in Japan.

Brian [01:37:57]:
They do this in Japan.

Phillip [01:37:58]:
Right.

Brian [01:37:59]:
And they do this for women.

Katherine [01:38:00]:
They do a lot of weird sex involved.

Mike [01:38:02]:
But there's, like, smell your socks actually.

Brian [01:38:06]:
Thought about as a business plan.

Phillip [01:38:07]:
Right.

Brian [01:38:07]:
But it's kind of hard to get off.

Eldar [01:38:10]:
Why? Well, I mean, you just came up to this lady, and you could potentially say, hey, look, we got to do all that. This is what I do. Here's my card.

Brian [01:38:19]:
I need a catalog of men.

Eldar [01:38:21]:
Want to get some support? Yeah, I have a catalog of men, but I don't.

Brian [01:38:23]:
That's the problem.

Eldar [01:38:24]:
No, but you could get it if you want to, if we put on.

Brian [01:38:26]:
An ad or have to be handsome men.

Phillip [01:38:29]:
Right?

Brian [01:38:31]:
I can't just have a random.

Katherine [01:38:33]:
You can't have randos on.

Brian [01:38:34]:
I can't have randos just show up from the block.

Mike [01:38:39]:
He would do it.

Katherine [01:38:41]:
I think all that is very interesting.

Oleg C [01:38:43]:
Trying to hook me up. I was going to do, like, mail.

Brian [01:38:45]:
This kind of stuff.

Oleg C [01:38:46]:
I'm not going to lie. I would feel nervous as fuck even back then.

Brian [01:38:49]:
But you would love that shit, though. You would probably love that shit. You get paid for your services. But the problem is, what if a man wanted your services? That's a good question. Well, see, that's for you, right? There are some guys in the catalog that have to be okay with that, but also have to be the ones that those guys want.

Oleg C [01:39:09]:
I remember I was going to do a phone.

Eldar [01:39:10]:
Make the money, don't let the money make you. You know what I'm saying?

Mike [01:39:13]:
You're going to work for Tate.

Phillip [01:39:14]:
Right?

Brian [01:39:14]:
See, that's where the problem is with that idea. You have to have a catalog of men that are willing to do whatever it is.

Phillip [01:39:19]:
Right?

Brian [01:39:19]:
And I'm not selling sex. I'm selling the emotional boyfriend experience.

Phillip [01:39:25]:
That, to me, is sometimes even more right.

Brian [01:39:28]:
They just have.

Katherine [01:39:29]:
I feel like it's more valuable than just paying.

Phillip [01:39:31]:
A lot of the guys that I've known, finance guys, money guys, whatever, okay? They want to do drugs with these girls, but they find that a lot of these experiences is that most of it is mostly talking, and it's mostly them kind of spilling their guts to these people. And there usually isn't a sexual component. And usually afterwards, if. Maybe after the conversation, something happens. But the base of it, why they're coming back and why they would spend more money, is because they're able to say things to them and feel free with them that they maybe can't with.

Eldar [01:40:04]:
Their girlfriend or their wife, because they.

Brian [01:40:05]:
Have nothing to worry about any repercussions from that conversation, which is true. Which is absolutely true.

Eldar [01:40:11]:
You benefit from that.

Brian [01:40:12]:
I don't feel like I'm in that world because I'm able to be free with. I'm different. You just met me, right? If you've known me throughout the last four or five years or whatever the case is, you'd be like, that's Brian. He's a fucking nut. He'll tell you exactly what it is. I have zero filter. I'll tell you exactly how I feel, whether you fucking like it or not. I don't care.

Phillip [01:40:32]:
Right?

Brian [01:40:33]:
My experience in this world showed me that if without a filter and without caring about what you have to think makes me happy.

Oleg C [01:40:41]:
Are you, like, a mean guy in general?

Brian [01:40:43]:
No, I'm not a mean guy. I'm very sweet. We've just met. Do you believe I'm mean?

Oleg C [01:40:47]:
Well, no, because he said, I don't.

Brian [01:40:48]:
Care what the fuck you think. I don't know. I won't tell you that. I won't say, hey, I hate you. I don't want to be around you. The shit that you talk, I don't like. I don't have to tell you that type of stuff, right? I respect you.

Phillip [01:41:00]:
Right?

Brian [01:41:00]:
In the beginning, I'm getting to learn about you and who you are and how you move. The end of the day, if you feel like if I left right now and you guys wanted to talk and be like, yo, what do you think about Brian? That conversation always happens. Guys talk, girls talk. Same bullshit shit, right? Whether or not the conversation gets back to me, I don't give two fucks about, right? If you be like, yo, Brian's a fucking dick. He says some shit I didn't like. Well, fuck you, bro. I don't care about you.

Phillip [01:41:24]:
Right?

Brian [01:41:24]:
Even if I did care about you, you already know about me. You know that I have zero filter. Like me for who I am. Like me, because I have no filter. Because I'm going to tell you exactly the way it is.

Phillip [01:41:33]:
I picture Brian pimping Oleg out, and I picture Oleg in one of those Chippendales, like, little bow ties with nothing else on with, like, maybe a little.

Mike [01:41:42]:
And being like, hey, you got to.

Anatoliy [01:41:44]:
Hit up, like, Cindy and fucking.

Brian [01:41:50]:
Around.

Phillip [01:41:54]:
Now.

Brian [01:41:54]:
I need to get you to Brighton beach right now.

Eldar [01:41:56]:
Go your hands right now. Like, in the dressing room.

Brian [01:41:59]:
Get you the Brighton beach speedos, dude, the mesh ones.

Eldar [01:42:02]:
It's cool.

Brian [01:42:04]:
Trying to be mean. I'm not mean, in life, generally, I'm very sweet. You'll have a really good conversation. Mike can tell you. I seem very nice. I am very nice. Just don't get on my bad side. And we're good, right? I'm not going to hurt you.

Brian [01:42:18]:
I'm just going to straight up tell you how I feel. And I'm going to tell you how I feel, whether or not you're on my bad side, right? Because I'm just that type of person. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm just like, if I don't like something, I'm going to tell you why I don't like it. I'm not going to hold on to him, be like, oh, fuck, now I have to deal with his shit. And me and Mike spoke about this, about the whole friendship aspect of this, right? Just to get away from this whole conversation. His thoughts were, you're playing on his field, right? What did he mean by that? I'm playing on his field? Meaning that if I like to do something that he doesn't like to do, he just won't fucking do, then and I give an example. So Mike and elder, you like to.

Brian [01:43:01]:
What did you say?

Mike [01:43:02]:
Garden.

Brian [01:43:02]:
Garden. Mike doesn't like to do gardening. But he'll do it because he likes spending time with you, right? That's a friendship there, right? You might do something that he might not like to do, and vice versa, right? And that's where that plays. And I'll tell you that.

Phillip [01:43:16]:
I just don't like it.

Brian [01:43:17]:
I'm not going to be like, well, fuck you, I'm not going to do it. I'm like, yo, bro, unfortunately, I'm not into that. And if it's cool, I just don't want to be part of that. But I would love to spend time with you and get to know you.

Phillip [01:43:28]:
Right?

Brian [01:43:28]:
So I'm not that type of guy. I'm very sweet. I'm very nice.

Phillip [01:43:31]:
Yeah. Right?

Brian [01:43:32]:
Mike's been my friend for, I don't know, 30 years. I mean, we're on and off, of course, but this is just him introducing himself to me and me introducing to him again, or after so many years since the last time I was here.

Mike [01:43:43]:
Was like, probably five years together. And we haven't seen each other for a long time. For a long time.

Phillip [01:43:48]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:43:48]:
But we grew up together, and I don't remember any of that. So maybe Brian could tell us because I don't remember.

Brian [01:43:52]:
I had great fond memories.

Mike [01:43:54]:
The past, Brian.

Oleg C [01:43:56]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:43:57]:
He doesn't remember. I don't remember he doesn't remember this.

Mike [01:43:59]:
I do remember that one thing.

Oleg C [01:44:00]:
Your memory is weird only for some reason.

Mike [01:44:05]:
My memory is actually very bad mostly, but it's very good with numbers. I will say. Yes, I'm going. Numbers?

Eldar [01:44:13]:
How? What?

Mike [01:44:15]:
That was good.

Brian [01:44:16]:
Probably in our teens, I think.

Mike [01:44:19]:
I left Brooklyn when I was January.

Brian [01:44:22]:
12 as a junior high school.

Mike [01:44:23]:
I left Brooklyn when I was 16, so probably 1516. We stopped.

Eldar [01:44:28]:
How was Brian?

Katherine [01:44:28]:
And you left at 17.

Mike [01:44:30]:
Okay, so, Brian. One thing I remember distinctly. I remember Brian. He was already having sex. We were, like the same age. And I was like, yo, he was already having sex with chicks. Or definitely having some kind of sexual encounters. He was telling me about them, and I was like, yo, I don't know what to do here, bro.

Eldar [01:44:48]:
You were just a little boy. I was just a little boy.

Mike [01:44:51]:
Obviously. That's one thing that really sticks out. I don't know. We probably used to get in trouble together. We used to play ball together, probably, he said, we used to play tennis together, which I don't remember at all.

Brian [01:45:00]:
Yeah, of course.

Mike [01:45:01]:
But I was big in tennis in the time.

Brian [01:45:02]:
So was I. I played on the.

Mike [01:45:04]:
Team we used to probably go to. We had that star city club there with the pool and chair.

Oleg C [01:45:10]:
And Brian was really fat at that time.

Mike [01:45:12]:
Yeah, she was fat. We were both fucking.

Oleg C [01:45:14]:
Anyone like all this?

Eldar [01:45:15]:
Yeah, we were both fat.

Brian [01:45:18]:
My personality played a huge role, but.

Mike [01:45:20]:
I remember he was definitely, like, loud and out Brooklyn.

Brian [01:45:24]:
Yeah, my personality played a huge role in me getting the women that I got right. So I sang at the time. I was in choir, so I had a nice voice. See, I don't remember that at all. These girls called me just to listen to me sing. It was like the weirdest fucking time, like, thinking about it now. Give us an intro real quick, bro.

Phillip [01:45:40]:
I'm good. I've got a voice like that.

Brian [01:45:42]:
I sound sexy as a man, not as a boy.

Eldar [01:45:44]:
You know what I mean?

Brian [01:45:45]:
So my personality played a huge role in these girls and why they liked me. Whether or not I was fat or not. Or whether I had a small dick.

Phillip [01:45:52]:
Big thing.

Brian [01:45:52]:
They didn't give two shits about that. They're like, yo, that guy is fucking funny. He sounds sexy as shit, and I want him to sing to me.

Oleg C [01:45:59]:
So you're saying at 1415 years old, you are already aware of your personality and able to leverage it. Something that all these pickup artists programs try. $50,000 for men and 50, 60 years old.

Brian [01:46:10]:
So I'm going to tell you something. You had this naturally at 13 years old. So before I was 13, I was very shy as an individual. I was so shy that I would be anxious to call the chinese store to order food. Like, just to pick up that phone and call and talk to them, I'd fucking tremble.

Oleg C [01:46:27]:
I get a little nervous because I'm always thinking, they don't understand.

Brian [01:46:29]:
Yeah, well, that just got to put.

Mike [01:46:30]:
On the chinese accent.

Eldar [01:46:33]:
You got to definitely let them pimp you, bro.

Brian [01:46:35]:
Yeah, so that happened, right? And then you agree with something happened that happened. And I said to myself, even as a big dude, I like to eat.

Mike [01:46:44]:
So you might be calling a lot of places.

Phillip [01:46:46]:
Yeah, I got to get used to this shit.

Eldar [01:46:51]:
Fat boy status, this doesn't work.

Brian [01:46:53]:
Yeah, you know what they said, closed mouths don't get fed.

Phillip [01:46:58]:
Right?

Brian [01:47:00]:
That line right there, that's how I got some fucking fat bro put mania and all that shit. But since that age, I kind of said to myself that one line. And since then, I opened up my personality to be who I am today. I've obviously perfected it now, but back then, I was very similar. I mean, obviously I'm an older high school.

Oleg C [01:47:21]:
You weren't trying to fit in all that shit.

Brian [01:47:23]:
In high school, I gave two shits about everybody. I went to work. Everybody went clubbing and did drugs. I went to go work, so I had to pay the bills. At that time, my father wasn't really working, and my mom was the sole provider for the family. And watching her go through that, I didn't want to have that type of lifestyle. So I came in and started working and providing a couple of dollars here and there for whatever it is that my mother needed. And that was my life through high school.

Phillip [01:47:50]:
Right.

Brian [01:47:50]:
Fucking working as my adult life. Fucking and working.

Eldar [01:47:55]:
So when did you get into boxing?

Brian [01:47:58]:
Boxing?

Phillip [01:47:59]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:47:59]:
Aren't you the heavyweight champion?

Brian [01:48:01]:
That guy, what's his name?

Eldar [01:48:06]:
Yes, Tyson Fury.

Brian [01:48:08]:
Tyson Fury, yes, the redhead.

Oleg C [01:48:13]:
But the non jacked version.

Katherine [01:48:15]:
Fury is really tall.

Eldar [01:48:16]:
He's big. He also has a sick personality.

Brian [01:48:21]:
Does he?

Eldar [01:48:21]:
Yeah, and he's a singer, dude, I was connected all these dots.

Brian [01:48:25]:
Wait a second, he's fucking Tyson fury, kid. He starts giving a mic and he's.

Eldar [01:48:33]:
And people go crazy, bro.

Brian [01:48:35]:
He's actually good. He's a gypsy, too. So to answer your question, in high school I gave two shits about people.

Phillip [01:48:43]:
So I have a junk box question for you. So when you were like, 14 or 15, what were, like, the drug of choices?

Mike [01:48:50]:
Little bit.

Phillip [01:48:51]:
Somebody in Brooklyn.

Brian [01:48:52]:
Oh, that was cocaine.

Phillip [01:48:53]:
Back then, cocaine was number one.

Oleg C [01:48:54]:
Cocaine at 14?

Brian [01:48:56]:
Yeah, they were snorting there was white lines in bear Hogola. I went to Yeshiva with Mike, and that yeshiva was mostly russian individuals that came from Russia that are now pushed into this religious school because it was kind of cheaper, or it was better.

Mike [01:49:18]:
Than going to public school the way my parents. So our parents didn't want us to go to the hood school, so they signed up for this public school. At least that's how my parents spun it. So they put us in this private jewish school. But because we grew up with black people our whole lives, me personally, we just acted out there because there was a bunch of nerdy jewish kids, and, I mean, I was bullying them all the time, getting in trouble all the time. Yeah, I got expelled from that in junior high school. I was expelled from school.

Anatoliy [01:49:51]:
Expelled?

Mike [01:49:52]:
Expelled. Yeah, they kicked me out of the school.

Brian [01:49:53]:
He wasn't a good kid, but.

Mike [01:49:57]:
I would always get in trouble. I would always pick on all the kids because I was always big, and I would always pick on little kids. They're like, oh, big guy.

Brian [01:50:03]:
Like, okay.

Anatoliy [01:50:05]:
And then down a feral on.

Oleg C [01:50:06]:
You realize it wasn't the jewish heaven. You imagined.

Mike [01:50:08]:
It wasn't the jewish heaven.

Brian [01:50:11]:
So back then, there were lines in the bathroom. You just find white lines of shit on the toilet paper.

Phillip [01:50:19]:
Yeah, that's definitely young, because what I would imagine is, when I thought, like, 14 or 15, we had a pretty. I would say, I don't know what the proper word is. Maybe like, progressive drug type town where you would start with drinking, like maybe smoking. I don't even remember coke coming into play. Maybe it was in high school for the older kids. And then I remember maybe junior or senior year, like, maybe you're 17 or 18, but I feel like that's very young.

Brian [01:50:48]:
And it was cocaine.

Oleg C [01:50:49]:
Yeah, I never did, like, 18. That's what I remember it.

Brian [01:50:54]:
These kids were wild. Absolutely wild.

Phillip [01:50:57]:
That's what I'm saying. So you were around like a crazy boy.

Brian [01:50:59]:
This is crazy russian jewish boy. But they weren't like, you're too broke.

Katherine [01:51:05]:
To afford those things in public school. I'm from queens. I went to public school. Not the best ones. And the kids couldn't afford that kind of drug.

Mike [01:51:17]:
That's a good point.

Phillip [01:51:18]:
Also, because you're not just saying, like, oh, coke is like, the extreme drug. It's a very expensive drug compared to, say, alcohol or weed.

Brian [01:51:26]:
Also, if you can't get coke, you.

Oleg C [01:51:29]:
Get the cheaper alternative.

Katherine [01:51:33]:
I was also not searching for. I was just a kid, but I'm shocked when I hear now that I know different people through Eldar or whatever. Kids that grew up here in the. Like, it's a completely different. Like, we barely afforded weed. Like, the kids here, like, whoa. Really?

Phillip [01:51:51]:
Know.

Oleg C [01:51:51]:
It's funny how crack is supposed to.

Eldar [01:51:53]:
Be a hood drug.

Oleg C [01:51:54]:
When I was going to college, private college, to the captain of our wrestling team, Robbie, who was a crackhead, and I lived in the house with the wrestlers, he would come smoke crack. And you have all these kids from Pennsylvania Dutch, but they're like rich kids, rich white kids all in wrestling, and they would just all be smoking crack and shit.

Phillip [01:52:12]:
That's crazy.

Phillip [01:52:12]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:52:13]:
I remember I used to come home from the gym, drink a protein shake, and then they would pass me, I would hit the crackpipe, and then I couldn't finish my protein shake because it kills your appetite.

Phillip [01:52:21]:
Wow.

Oleg C [01:52:22]:
I never tried crack.

Phillip [01:52:23]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:52:24]:
It's not that I've never tried anything other than weed, actually. No, I'm afraid. Perfect.

Phillip [01:52:27]:
Me, too.

Brian [01:52:28]:
I'm so afraid.

Katherine [01:52:30]:
Weed was, as far as I ever.

Brian [01:52:31]:
Got, huge pothead back in college. But any other drug I could not even think about.

Mike [01:52:38]:
Yeah, I never got into coke. I tried shrooms once.

Brian [01:52:41]:
A fat man. I thought I was going to die.

Phillip [01:52:43]:
Right.

Brian [01:52:44]:
My heart would have never. You could lose weight at that time. I wasn't thinking about that at that time. I was thinking about my heart.

Oleg C [01:52:50]:
Explore your modeling career.

Brian [01:52:52]:
Yeah, right.

Oleg C [01:52:53]:
But no, I want to fire off a couple of basic questions that, I don't know, you guys probably asked.

Eldar [01:52:58]:
Go ahead, jump in.

Mike [01:53:00]:
Totally.

Phillip [01:53:00]:
See?

Mike [01:53:01]:
So we get you on the mic.

Eldar [01:53:02]:
You left.

Mike [01:53:03]:
No, I think you went to poop.

Brian [01:53:06]:
Just as long as not in the seat.

Oleg C [01:53:11]:
I think you already kind of did.

Phillip [01:53:13]:
Answer because you say that's.

Oleg C [01:53:16]:
I always wonder.

Phillip [01:53:17]:
People who are like, right.

Oleg C [01:53:19]:
You hear on whatever, podcast, or you meet people and they're like sex addicts or whatever. Very sexualized or whatever.

Mike [01:53:25]:
You're a sex addict, Brian.

Oleg C [01:53:27]:
And you wonder, like, a person who really loves sex. Let's say I could really love cars, but I have no money. I don't get any cars. You know what I mean? But a lot of people who are having sex a lot. Are you good with just girls in general and where are you always.

Brian [01:53:41]:
No. So as that story I told you after 13, where I opened up my personality, that's when I kind of became more of a guy's girl, I guess. Girl, guy, whatever you want to call it. Girls guy.

Phillip [01:53:57]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:53:57]:
That used to trigger them, like, oh, I'll be your best friend and then have sex with them. Yeah.

Eldar [01:54:04]:
When they cry.

Brian [01:54:05]:
I used to read a lot of psychology books and really learn what it is to get into minds and really get what I want at the end of the day. So I'm pretty good with females. I'm good with people in general. I could sell you your dirty underwear to you right now if I wanted to.

Phillip [01:54:21]:
Right?

Brian [01:54:22]:
I won't. We could just get tollies right now.

Oleg C [01:54:26]:
I mean, I would prefer Tolly Tollies 100%.

Brian [01:54:33]:
I need specific things for me to.

Phillip [01:54:37]:
Be really good at what I do. Right?

Brian [01:54:39]:
Like picking up girls. I'm not a pickup artist or anything.

Phillip [01:54:42]:
Right.

Oleg C [01:54:42]:
It sounds like you're a natural pickup.

Brian [01:54:44]:
I'm not. I don't need that Pocahontas hat for you to get attracted to this and have a conversation about it. Like that other guy that made the book mystery.

Oleg C [01:54:55]:
Because I know a guy who's really into this shit, right? So through him I get a glimpse in that world. It's crazy how much it's evolved to where all these programs, they now involve like, ayahuasca and, I don't know, jumping off, fucking with a parachute and basically evolving yourself to be a person with balls and of action and then get in your track.

Brian [01:55:12]:
I don't think that adventure is going to wake up. Your skill of talking to girls. That's a different skill.

Oleg C [01:55:19]:
Actualizing and also getting courage. And it sounds like that's what happened to you naturally when you were way younger. So I'm saying I think it's still.

Brian [01:55:27]:
People need liquid courage, right? They need liquid courage to do all these guys.

Oleg C [01:55:31]:
I know when they do these camps, whatever, they're not allowed to drink and shit.

Brian [01:55:34]:
Yeah, it's pretty. No, I mean, I'm naturally really good with people and conversing.

Phillip [01:55:39]:
Right?

Brian [01:55:39]:
I could talk to you about anything. I talk to homeless people to do my tests. I have tests.

Phillip [01:55:45]:
These are my tests.

Brian [01:55:46]:
I could talk to anybody. I'll ask you a question, you'll give you an answer. You feel comfortable with me? Just like this girl in this building. I didn't say not one thing about my penis or my hair. And she's bringing this up in conversation by herself because I made her feel so comfortable. She brought down that border, that wall, and she had that conversation with.

Eldar [01:56:05]:
Wanted to be naughty.

Phillip [01:56:06]:
She did. Okay.

Brian [01:56:07]:
I brought that naughty in her salesman kind of.

Oleg C [01:56:12]:
Do you get hot girl? Is it like nines and tens?

Brian [01:56:16]:
I don't physically think of women in that sense, in numbers going to be that simple, bro. No, it's not. Yeah, usually. Could I be with someone that you consider a nine or ten?

Phillip [01:56:28]:
Absolutely.

Brian [01:56:29]:
But there's girls there that are completely like fours and five empty sevens.

Mike [01:56:33]:
Empty inside.

Phillip [01:56:34]:
Right.

Brian [01:56:34]:
It's not about the physical aspect that I'm really caring about. It's more about what I'm going to learn about you and what I could.

Phillip [01:56:40]:
Get out of you.

Mike [01:56:42]:
I'll stay. It's okay.

Phillip [01:56:44]:
I think the audience should really understand that. You do look like Johnny Sins. It's to a guy.

Oleg C [01:56:50]:
I don't do anything else except look like Johnny.

Phillip [01:56:53]:
He's like one of the number one male porn stars in the world.

Eldar [01:56:57]:
He told me about me looking like a porn star.

Oleg C [01:56:59]:
No, he's.

Phillip [01:57:02]:
Yeah, but you're Johnny.

Brian [01:57:04]:
As long as he provides his wife with that type of lifestyle, we're good just to her.

Phillip [01:57:09]:
Oh, wow.

Brian [01:57:10]:
She says she's.

Mike [01:57:10]:
I just called him Johnny since today.

Brian [01:57:11]:
Yeah, but you know today.

Mike [01:57:13]:
Yeah, I know.

Phillip [01:57:14]:
Yeah. Right.

Brian [01:57:15]:
So to answer your question, no, I don't necessarily date nines and tens. Or do I look for nines and tens? No, I don't.

Oleg C [01:57:21]:
I understand as an aficionado, kind of like guys who are really into cars, they'll get like the most beat up car because of the. Make them love this little thing in it. So I get it. This is half joking, but I'm sure once you get a lot of girls, it's like you're looking maybe more for the connection, personality.

Brian [01:57:38]:
It's more that than anything else.

Oleg C [01:57:39]:
But my point is, I know people who are actually, I know someone who doesn't know that. I know that they're a swinger and, I mean, their swinging community or whatever is just terrible. It's just like doglies.

Mike [01:57:52]:
They're beat up.

Oleg C [01:57:54]:
One is like a transsexual fat, a little bit stubble kind of thing, and then another nerd.

Eldar [01:58:03]:
Wait, what? She has a beard, you said?

Phillip [01:58:05]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:58:05]:
And they're all like swimming. So my question is, you're good with people and you said you're good with girls.

Brian [01:58:13]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:58:13]:
Are you able to get just like.

Eldar [01:58:15]:
Get whatever you want.

Brian [01:58:16]:
I have pictures if you like.

Eldar [01:58:18]:
Oh, pass it around, pass it around. I trust we want to see it.

Oleg C [01:58:23]:
I feel like at the beginning of podcast, I feel like I would open with asking these basic questions to get a personality profile kind of.

Phillip [01:58:30]:
Yeah.

Brian [01:58:31]:
No. So obviously, as individuals in this world, right.

Phillip [01:58:35]:
We care about are they naked pictures?

Brian [01:58:38]:
We're looking at looks. Right. We're looking at physical appearances. Right. When you date, I'm ready for those.

Mike [01:58:45]:
Ready for. I'm intrigued. Those beers.

Brian [01:58:50]:
When you guys date, right. You're looking for physical attributes.

Phillip [01:58:54]:
Correct.

Brian [01:58:55]:
Primarily as humans.

Oleg C [01:58:57]:
I mean, firstly.

Mike [01:58:58]:
Well, unless you're Stevie Wonder, initially, when.

Brian [01:59:01]:
You'Re looking at someone, you find the attractiveness, right? I feel very attracted to all types of different women. Women that you might not consider nines or tens or sevens or eights, but for me they're considered sevens and eights and nines and tens. I don't have those numbers in my category because I don't see them as that.

Eldar [01:59:21]:
You got to show the pictures because then he'll understand.

Phillip [01:59:22]:
Show us your type.

Brian [01:59:24]:
Sure, I will. Momentarily. Yeah.

Eldar [01:59:27]:
Obviously this is only audio, so you're.

Brian [01:59:28]:
Not going to see.

Phillip [01:59:30]:
I.

Brian [01:59:30]:
Do you get an understanding of russian girls, spanish girls? I'm dating a half puerto rican, half dominican girl. I'm dating a russian jewish girl. Actually, my first girlfriend, my very first girlfriend I'm dating currently.

Mike [01:59:43]:
Oh, she's from Brooklyn, too, who told me about Yeshua. What's her name?

Brian [01:59:46]:
Yeah, I can't say.

Mike [01:59:48]:
Did we go to school with her together or.

Brian [01:59:50]:
No, she was.

Eldar [01:59:51]:
Oh, you'll have bad memory. Forget about it.

Brian [01:59:52]:
She was in school with us, but she was at the girl school. She didn't come into the building until way later.

Anatoliy [01:59:58]:
He said, you have bad memory.

Eldar [01:59:59]:
He's going to go into that bank. Look at this guy. All of a sudden his ears perked up. Oh, Jenny. Her name was Jenny. I had a crush on her. Brian. What the fuck?

Brian [02:00:14]:
So, yeah, it'd be a variety of different girls. Black girls, spanish girls, white girls. It doesn't matter what it is. I don't have a number to differentiate whether their hotness level is yet. As men, we do that, but as.

Oleg C [02:00:25]:
Dating people, we all see who.

Brian [02:00:27]:
Yeah, we're all kind of good looking here, right? We're all kind of maybe sixes and sevens and eights and nines, depending on who you're asking, right? He's probably more of like a nine in his world, right? And I'm probably like an eight in my world. He has nice eyes. You know what?

Phillip [02:00:43]:
He's very well kept.

Brian [02:00:44]:
He's very tight. He works out a lot. He has blue eyes.

Phillip [02:00:48]:
Right?

Brian [02:00:48]:
I would love to pimp this guy. Are you kidding me? He would bag so many girls. I could just have him stand next to me. We could just bag girls all day. He doesn't have to open.

Eldar [02:00:56]:
He's done with that world. He's older now. He's looking for something meaningful.

Brian [02:00:59]:
No, but I'm just saying, naturally, he doesn't even have to open his mouth. He could just stand there and look pretty. But as soon as he opens his.

Mike [02:01:05]:
Mouth, bro, it's all downhill from there.

Brian [02:01:06]:
Well, it's either downhill or we're going.

Eldar [02:01:09]:
To fine right away. Dude, you heard what he said.

Brian [02:01:11]:
Oh, no. We're going to bag plenty of girls together. I swear. He could bag. He could probably bag too.

Phillip [02:01:17]:
Probably.

Brian [02:01:17]:
Everyone here could bag. Even your wife could probably bag easy if you want.

Phillip [02:01:21]:
Right?

Brian [02:01:21]:
Exactly, Mike.

Eldar [02:01:24]:
Already loud and clear. We're going to have a conversation about this later with you. Sorry, you can't bag, bro.

Oleg C [02:01:34]:
Are you attracted to Brian?

Brian [02:01:36]:
Are you attracted to Brian?

Eldar [02:01:39]:
I just wanted put that out there.

Phillip [02:01:42]:
I don't want any weirdness going on.

Oleg C [02:01:44]:
Yeah, it's not weird. Let's see what else?

Phillip [02:01:48]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:01:48]:
Are you like, in general, like a very sexualized person?

Brian [02:01:51]:
I am very highly, super, highly people.

Oleg C [02:01:57]:
And they just want to fuck. And it's crazy. I'm like, dude, that's disgusting. They'll be like, oh, I find that they love that shit.

Brian [02:02:04]:
I don't love it, but they want to talk about it. It doesn't matter where I go, I'm very flirty, right? As soon as they open my mouth, some shit comes out, right? I have no filter.

Oleg C [02:02:14]:
I have the opposite.

Brian [02:02:15]:
I think my wife hates it when we go out to dinner. She's like, yo, babe, why do you have to do that?

Phillip [02:02:21]:
Oh, yeah, that's another thing. When you guys are actually together, how does the dynamic work? So let's say you are on a date and you are at dinner. How does that work? Where are you kind of like Scotty pippiing like her Jordan and vice versa? Are you assisting each other like the other girl or guy?

Brian [02:02:40]:
We talk about our experiences.

Phillip [02:02:42]:
Yeah, but if I'm at dinner with you, I'm your wife. And I'm like, oh, shit, Brian, I think this girl might be something for you. Now you guys have the dynamic where you don't talk about other girls. So when you're out, where do you allow your eyes to wander? And what type of conversations do you have when you're at dinner? When it comes to other people that are maybe at a restaurant where there's attractive people?

Phillip [02:03:04]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:03:04]:
So if you were my wife, you'd understand me that my eyes are constant. So my background is constant.

Phillip [02:03:12]:
As in what?

Phillip [02:03:12]:
Wandering.

Brian [02:03:13]:
As in wandering. Understood. And that's not only for the hotness or the sexuality portion of it. I have a protectiveness issue where I have to know if I'm at a restaurant, my seat has to be by the door. I'm looking at the door. So yesterday was very uncomfortable for me.

Phillip [02:03:32]:
By the way.

Brian [02:03:34]:
But it has to be by the door.

Mike [02:03:35]:
I have to sound like your problem.

Brian [02:03:36]:
It was my problem, and that's why I kept looking back. It wasn't for the hot blonde.

Mike [02:03:40]:
You were looking at the birds.

Brian [02:03:41]:
It wasn't for the hot blonde. It was for me looking at the door.

Phillip [02:03:44]:
I have.

Brian [02:03:45]:
I am a shotgun owner. Yeah. Because I live in New York, so I can't have a fucking gun, unfortunately. But if I was in Jersey, I had no. It's different. You have to go through a crazy process. It was easier to get a shotgun permit than anything. My eyes are very wandering, and my conversation is prone to only talk about what we're talking about at the moment.

Brian [02:04:06]:
If she wants to bring up like, oh, babe, that girl over there looked at you and you want me to get that number for you? I'll be like, fuck, yeah, let's do that.

Phillip [02:04:13]:
Right?

Brian [02:04:13]:
Because she's open. She understands me. That's that type of guy I am.

Phillip [02:04:18]:
But why is that allowed during the conversation? But then you're not allowed to talk about what happens after. So, like, if you're just.

Brian [02:04:25]:
Sex is not able to use conversation. So you can talk about everything, just.

Phillip [02:04:28]:
The conversation that you're having with other girls.

Phillip [02:04:30]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:04:31]:
You're just not allowed to talk about the sexual. So you can basically set each other up and say, like, hey, honey, I saw you were talking to him at the bar or this waiter or whoever.

Brian [02:04:41]:
Right.

Phillip [02:04:42]:
You can be okay with assisting that. But then once it comes to a sexual component, then there's a cut off.

Brian [02:04:48]:
Correct.

Phillip [02:04:49]:
Okay.

Brian [02:04:49]:
Correct.

Oleg C [02:04:50]:
So you could say, like, oh, we went with Mary to the bridge. Should we watch the sunrise?

Phillip [02:04:58]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:04:58]:
We talk about our experiences with the others.

Phillip [02:05:01]:
Right.

Brian [02:05:01]:
We don't talk about the actual sexual portion. If there was sex, in fact, happening, we don't talk about that. And you missed out. You weren't here that I one day just approached my wife, had this conversation. She's like, I don't want to fucking hear that.

Phillip [02:05:15]:
Right?

Brian [02:05:15]:
I don't want to hear about your sexual experiences or what you've done or what you're not doing with me. So I said, okay, cool. Yeah, you have to test the words. How else am I going to learn? It wasn't a conversation that we had. We sat down and said, all right, line by line, this is what we're not going to have. This is what we are going to have. So we're just chilling. We're just hanging out, just having a conversation.

Brian [02:05:34]:
We'll talk about her experiencing. How was that movie that you watched with blah, blah, blah. It was great. Did you guys have a little bit fun afterwards or not? She's like, stop asking me that question, that bullshit. It's very playful. But yes, I am very playful in the way I speak with everyone that I'm with. I'm not attracted to men, but I'll even play around with men. I don't care about it because it's not that I'm gay or would you like to try? And I have nothing wrong with that.

Brian [02:06:08]:
I have nothing wrong with gay people. I love gay guys and lesbians and all that. All the whole LGBT plus world. But I'm not into it, right. I'm into females directly, but my conversations with them is quite. Very open. Yeah, very open.

Oleg C [02:06:28]:
You never got no.

Mike [02:06:31]:
Hi.

Phillip [02:06:32]:
Oh, hi, Philip.

Oleg C [02:06:34]:
Most humans, right?

Phillip [02:06:35]:
Coming.

Anatoliy [02:06:35]:
Rich Belkor.

Oleg C [02:06:36]:
Human jealousy.

Phillip [02:06:38]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:06:38]:
Protectiveness, jealousy, whatever. I think for me, I would definitely like, I would. With the sexual thing, with just even attention. Right? I remember back in the day, if I was going out with a girl and we're somewhere and she's just chatting with everyone else and barely chatting with me, I would get even mad, right?

Brian [02:07:04]:
I'm currently the same.

Oleg C [02:07:05]:
So I'm just like, I'm interested.

Brian [02:07:10]:
I'm currently the same. I am jealous. Yeah, you missed it.

Eldar [02:07:16]:
You talked about the jealousy, for example.

Oleg C [02:07:20]:
I've known guys, right? Probably this is pod. I don't know if I know anyone like that. But a guy, basically, the relationship is open to him. He does what he wants, but the girls cannot. Right.

Katherine [02:07:34]:
A ton of men.

Oleg C [02:07:36]:
Yeah. So I guess that kind of makes sense to me. Although I wouldn't want to be in that situation either. But for me, always when someone's wife or girlfriend is a stripper or hooker or whatever you want to call the pc word, or even just like a regular girl. But that just open, right? I'm just wondering, because from what you've said, it seems like you deal with it fine. When did you stop being jealous or whatever?

Brian [02:08:09]:
That's never stopped. I'm always jealous of my wife's time, right. Because it's not spent with me.

Phillip [02:08:15]:
And I'll give you an example that.

Brian [02:08:17]:
We actually didn't touch upon. When my wife and I go on vacation, obviously, she's not seeing the other guys and I'm not seeing the other girls during that time because we're on vacation. When we come back, what is the first thing that she does? What do you think is the first thing that she does?

Eldar [02:08:31]:
You guys both go to your respective girlfriends and boyfriends.

Phillip [02:08:33]:
Exactly. Right.

Brian [02:08:34]:
So she sometimes go on vacation on herself, by herself, and I do the same. And then when she comes back from vacation, I'm expecting her to spend time with me for the very first moments that she's back, whether it's a day or two or whatever the case is. But what do you think?

Phillip [02:08:50]:
Oh, wait.

Anatoliy [02:08:51]:
This is situations where you guys go on vacation alone, separately.

Brian [02:08:54]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:08:55]:
Okay.

Brian [02:08:56]:
So she would then go see whoever she wants to go see and not spend the ample enough time with me, and I'd be super angry about that. And I'm just mentally sitting there just thinking about this, be like, why am I even mad at this?

Phillip [02:09:12]:
She came back from vacation, she saw me, right?

Brian [02:09:16]:
We had our. Whatever it was, pow wow. Non sexual.

Phillip [02:09:20]:
Right?

Brian [02:09:20]:
It doesn't always have to be sexual to have a pow wow. And then she went on her merry.

Phillip [02:09:24]:
Way to do her thing.

Eldar [02:09:25]:
Why do you think that is? Did you ever examine that?

Brian [02:09:28]:
She never gave me the. I don't believe she gave me the.

Mike [02:09:31]:
No.

Eldar [02:09:31]:
For you. For you.

Brian [02:09:32]:
For me.

Eldar [02:09:33]:
That you actually require that.

Brian [02:09:34]:
Well, she's on vacation. I haven't had my wife for however many days it was.

Phillip [02:09:39]:
Right? I want my wife.

Brian [02:09:42]:
I like my wife. I love my wife. I want to spend time with my wife.

Eldar [02:09:45]:
Okay, right.

Brian [02:09:45]:
So if she's on vacation and she's thinking about then going to see another guy when she comes back from vacation, that's a problem for me.

Phillip [02:09:53]:
Yeah, right.

Brian [02:09:54]:
Yeah, that's a huge problem.

Oleg C [02:09:56]:
It's like if you're in love, right? Or even, I don't know, when you come home from vacation, like a lot of people, first thing to do, go visit their parents or something. So that since the wife is family, maybe there's more of an expectation.

Brian [02:10:08]:
Well, I expect my wife to spend as much time as she can with me because she was just away for however many days it was, I want to spend time with you, whether it's 5 hours or 6 hours. I would have been happy with that amount of time. But saying to, okay, so I'm going to come home, I'm going to spend a couple of hours with you, and I'm just going to beat out. And usually she sleeps out, right? She doesn't come back home. She'll sleep out and then come back in the following day. And that would piss me to fuck off. Totally pissed me to fuck off. How dare you even talk about going to see another guy when you just came back from vacation.

Brian [02:10:39]:
We should be spending our time together. So to answer your question, I still have that jealousy aspect of it all.

Phillip [02:10:44]:
Maybe I shouldn't, right?

Brian [02:10:45]:
But because I feel the way that I feel very emotionally, there's a lot.

Eldar [02:10:49]:
Of ups and downs.

Brian [02:10:50]:
Oh, there's huge ups and downs. I mean, there's things that will fucking.

Phillip [02:10:52]:
Just tear me up.

Brian [02:10:53]:
And then there are some things that I just don't give two fucks about.

Oleg C [02:10:55]:
But this seems like very, like, it just seems a lot more like, I don't know, if you're friends with someone and they come back from vacation and they don't check in with you. For some people, it could be perturbing. My thing is talking about when you're in a relationship with someone and that person is cheating. Not cheating, but whatever. Doing stuff with other people. For most people, that's just fucking.

Brian [02:11:22]:
I don't have any issues in my mind that doesn't exist.

Phillip [02:11:25]:
Right.

Brian [02:11:26]:
This is nonexistent.

Phillip [02:11:27]:
Felt that.

Brian [02:11:28]:
No, I don't even think about it that way.

Phillip [02:11:30]:
So the jealousy is as a result of emotions?

Phillip [02:11:34]:
Yeah, my emotions and time.

Phillip [02:11:37]:
Time spent.

Brian [02:11:37]:
Time spent means a lot to me. That's one of my love languages.

Phillip [02:11:42]:
Touch.

Brian [02:11:43]:
Physical touch is another one of those. And obviously, if they're not with you.

Phillip [02:11:47]:
Then you can't do that.

Brian [02:11:48]:
Absolutely. And I'm missing out on both things.

Phillip [02:11:50]:
I get that, right?

Brian [02:11:52]:
My two favorite love languages are gone. Nonexistent.

Phillip [02:11:56]:
How dare I not get what I want, right?

Brian [02:11:58]:
It's the whole point of kind of what we're doing here, right? Living in this earth is to obtain.

Phillip [02:12:03]:
What we want, right? It.

Brian [02:12:05]:
And if I'm not getting that, of course I'm going to be fucking pissed.

Oleg C [02:12:07]:
So that's interesting. You don't have the circuit that makes you jealous about the physical.

Brian [02:12:10]:
No, my wife hates that shit. She's like, how dare you not be jealous of me? I'm like, babe, I just don't have that. I'll give a fuck. You do. You, girl, go have some fun. You need $5. Here you go.

Phillip [02:12:24]:
Right?

Brian [02:12:24]:
Like, just something like that. Because I want her to have fun. I want her to be able to just enjoy life whatever way she wants to enjoy it. You missed out on this whole conversation.

Oleg C [02:12:35]:
Yeah, I remember myself in high school.

Eldar [02:12:41]:
It's a shot.

Oleg C [02:12:42]:
I used to pick up a lot of girls in the later part of high school. And I remember, like, one time this girl, we went somewhere and she hooked up with some other guy. She wrote me this whole apology. I'm like, aim a lung.

Mike [02:12:53]:
Yeah, I remember.

Oleg C [02:12:55]:
Just like, wait, what? Like, I'm not.

Brian [02:12:57]:
What am I?

Oleg C [02:12:58]:
She's like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking? But then I remember like a year or so later, I had my first relationship. And I remember I fucking activated jealous.

Brian [02:13:10]:
Well, maybe at that time you were just looking at her as a piece of ass because it was high school, right? At high school we all thought ass was ass. We weren't really looking into relationships until later on in our lives. College times. College times is really when we really thought about maybe getting into relationships for some. Some in high school, some junior high school. But most of us here probably didn't even think of it like that. High school, we were happy just to get laid. But jealousy never played a role in my life at all, ever.

Phillip [02:13:36]:
Don't care.

Oleg C [02:13:38]:
So if you're highly sexualized, you're good with women, you're not like, what is it called? Shy and you not jealous. Do you ever think to go into adult film industry?

Brian [02:13:51]:
No, I don't have a dick big enough.

Oleg C [02:13:53]:
Fuck, they have all kind of. They have now, these little, like fucking Drishi that porn stars pick up and fuck them.

Mike [02:14:01]:
The big women or the poor guys. You will do that shit, right?

Brian [02:14:08]:
You need a seven footer.

Mike [02:14:10]:
You need a seven footer. You need to be carried, bro.

Eldar [02:14:12]:
Yes or no? He needs to be carried, right? Yes or no? He needs to be carried.

Phillip [02:14:18]:
Yes.

Phillip [02:14:19]:
The way that you think about porn, though, traditionally he can have a channel. Only fans is the next level. There's no limits.

Brian [02:14:26]:
All you have to do. You want to be carried, yes or no?

Eldar [02:14:28]:
Just answer me that question.

Brian [02:14:33]:
If you look at porn now, if you go on Pornhub right now, what.

Phillip [02:14:36]:
Are the body types of men?

Brian [02:14:38]:
If you just go through the homepage.

Phillip [02:14:39]:
Right now, what are the body types of men?

Oleg C [02:14:43]:
It's changed a lot. It's crazy.

Eldar [02:14:44]:
Open it up.

Brian [02:14:45]:
Open it up right now. Open it up right now. Tell me the body type of the man he's talking about.

Eldar [02:14:50]:
That guy that gets carried by a seven folder.

Brian [02:14:54]:
The Amazonian. I love her. She's hot. Oh, you can use whatever you want, whatever homepage, but you can beep it out until they sponsor you. Paris, porn movies.

Phillip [02:15:13]:
Pornhub.

Brian [02:15:13]:
That shit is whatever the. Whatever website you use, the first video.

Eldar [02:15:19]:
What is the body still goes to Merck Bro IRc to download their porn. Bro Irc bro from back in the day.

Mike [02:15:26]:
Merck.

Oleg C [02:15:27]:
I only downloaded ebooks.

Brian [02:15:28]:
Holy ebooks.

Oleg C [02:15:31]:
Here's a dad Bod right here.

Brian [02:15:33]:
All right, but that's the body type now, right? Either dad bod, bod. There's like kids.

Eldar [02:15:38]:
That's what he goes.

Brian [02:15:41]:
Yeah, but they're not really computer nerds. They're like six pack dudes with fucking eight each cocks.

Phillip [02:15:47]:
They're usually in shape. Guys usually only have two different body types for women. And the women that usually, like the dad bods are usually women that don't want the guy to outdo the woman. And they usually have a guy that's in shape.

Phillip [02:15:59]:
Right?

Phillip [02:15:59]:
Is that not accurate?

Brian [02:16:00]:
That is very accurate. That's what have to. You have to go further into the subjects, like, to find out fat man, BBW shit.

Phillip [02:16:10]:
Right?

Brian [02:16:10]:
Like big, beautiful women and then fat.

Oleg C [02:16:13]:
Yo, Ron Jeremy would have.

Brian [02:16:15]:
Yeah, he would have been great. That's that one guy. Out of how many?

Oleg C [02:16:18]:
I'm telling you, there's guys. Evan Stone. Well, he was jacked.

Brian [02:16:23]:
Anyways, back to what I'm saying. I can't be that guy. I don't find myself to be in that.

Eldar [02:16:28]:
Leave the guy alone, man.

Mike [02:16:30]:
He wants to modify.

Oleg C [02:16:31]:
What do you mean?

Eldar [02:16:32]:
He doesn't want to do anything.

Oleg C [02:16:34]:
That's the one thing stopping him.

Phillip [02:16:36]:
Only the dick.

Eldar [02:16:37]:
He said the dick. You can see.

Mike [02:16:42]:
Surgery to get six inches taller.

Brian [02:16:43]:
No, he's right. I could pull in a stunt doc. Stunt dick. Sorry, Bret. Stunt dick. I call it stunt dick. Please. All right.

Brian [02:16:51]:
No, I'm kidding. I have a very beautiful penis, but that's not the case. I'm not really into porn. I don't even watch porn. That so, like, I wouldn't want to be part of that.

Eldar [02:17:00]:
Tutorial purposes.

Brian [02:17:02]:
As a kid, I used to watch for tutorial reasons. Now I just don't watch it at all, because I just do what they do already.

Phillip [02:17:07]:
I just can't do some guys.

Eldar [02:17:10]:
Is anybody confused about Brian's lifestyle?

Phillip [02:17:13]:
Probably everyone.

Brian [02:17:14]:
Still, because everybody comes from traditional.

Mike [02:17:20]:
The last topic, maybe I didn't understand it correctly, but what he was saying is that he gets upset when his wife leaves. I think that's an interesting point.

Phillip [02:17:28]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:17:28]:
That's a psychological thing. And emotional, from my point of view.

Phillip [02:17:32]:
Right.

Brian [02:17:32]:
It has nothing to do with the type of relationship that I'm in. Obviously, it plays a role, because now she's going out to see somebody else.

Eldar [02:17:38]:
But he seems like he's separated a lot.

Brian [02:17:40]:
But what if she goes to see a friend?

Mike [02:17:42]:
We're in a relationship. Yeah.

Brian [02:17:43]:
What if she goes to see a friend? It's the same concept. It's the very same concept.

Oleg C [02:17:47]:
Being sexually taboo somewhat yourself. Were you able to earlier on before, it wasn't as accepted in society, accept people from the Alphabet, things LGBT.

Phillip [02:18:01]:
As.

Brian [02:18:02]:
Young kids in our world. We didn't know about that until way later. Until the last maybe 1520 years. I didn't care for it. I was cool with anybody that came out. That was different, right? If you were different and you didn't know you were gay at the time, because Gay wasn't a thing. It was, but you wouldn't know about it.

Oleg C [02:18:18]:
Well, we were always like, oh, gay, whack.

Brian [02:18:20]:
Not me, by the way, though. We would say, like, yo, that's just gay, right? That's just gay, right? I still say that, too, but it's.

Katherine [02:18:34]:
Not very New York.

Brian [02:18:37]:
I'm not saying it. That you're being gays. Gay is corny.

Eldar [02:18:40]:
Gay was corny. That's corny.

Brian [02:18:42]:
That's just corny, right?

Oleg C [02:18:44]:
There was a dislike for gays.

Eldar [02:18:47]:
Not another circle, bro.

Brian [02:18:48]:
There's many men that it was.

Eldar [02:18:49]:
Whatever for? Think about it. Nobody was really gay. Nobody was really gay. There was a one guy in high school also.

Mike [02:18:55]:
Right now, being gay is like, in style.

Katherine [02:18:58]:
Yeah, it's a thing to be promoted right now.

Brian [02:19:01]:
I mean, I knew so bisexual people existed back in my day, right? And I didn't look at them any different than if I was. I didn't care. As long as you're not slobbering my cock, we're good. Dude, don't touch my ass and don't touch my dick.

Phillip [02:19:15]:
We're good to go, right?

Brian [02:19:19]:
No, not from a man. What.

Eldar [02:19:25]:
If you're into that, dude, that's cool.

Mike [02:19:27]:
Maybe you're in jail.

Brian [02:19:29]:
Yeah, jail might be different.

Phillip [02:19:31]:
I can't.

Brian [02:19:33]:
There's some guys that come back from jail that go back to Manasse. They're with women, but prefer they learn to suck and get fucked and like to fuck. Manass, there are stories about this where there's a guy, older gentleman, that went to jail. He has his whole family, and he prefers to go see his boyfriend.

Eldar [02:19:52]:
That's an open relationship, too.

Brian [02:19:54]:
Well, I don't think from the backside. He had the backside. I don't think his wife, his family understand that that's what happened and that's what's going on.

Eldar [02:20:03]:
They're not being compassionate or understanding.

Brian [02:20:05]:
Well, he comes from a prison lifestyle.

Eldar [02:20:07]:
So that's part of his identity.

Phillip [02:20:09]:
Right? That's part of his identity.

Eldar [02:20:11]:
So has anybody been converted by Brian here, guys. To have an open relationship?

Phillip [02:20:15]:
I like the idea, but I know emotionally I couldn't handle it. And I think, to me, we went back to the idea of marriage or the definition of marriage to me. And my idea of it does not involve sharing multiple women. So if I was going to adopt this lifestyle, I think I would have done it when I was younger. And I probably did at a certain realm, I probably just didn't call it an open relationship. If you're just hooking up with multiple people and you're just kind of playing the field. That was probably the closest that I was. I think we did ask you as well, and I think you did say if you were to go back, you probably said you wouldn't have gotten relationship.

Brian [02:21:00]:
Non marriage.

Phillip [02:21:01]:
Exactly.

Phillip [02:21:01]:
With non marriage. So you started in one, and then it evolved into.

Eldar [02:21:06]:
Sorry, Philip.

Phillip [02:21:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:21:08]:
Why can't you be open about that and say, hey, wife, why are we doing this in the marriage situation?

Brian [02:21:16]:
It's like one of those things that's already done.

Phillip [02:21:18]:
We're married.

Brian [02:21:19]:
I'm not going to go in and.

Eldar [02:21:21]:
Get, what if you had this conversation because what Philip said, if go back, you prefer not to be in the marriage. What if you asked her the same question? She's like, yeah, you're right, babe. Why are we married?

Phillip [02:21:33]:
Can't unbarbe chicken.

Phillip [02:21:34]:
Right?

Brian [02:21:34]:
She has said that, and we have had that conversation. I brought this up in conversation.

Oleg C [02:21:38]:
First of all, it's good for taxes.

Phillip [02:21:40]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:21:41]:
Actually, it's worse for tax. I'm paying more taxes. I'm paying more taxes now than I have ever. When I was single, I was getting paid 7000, $8,000 back. Now I'm paying $11,000 because of me and my wife. We make too much money. But, yeah, I can't see myself drafting divorce papers.

Eldar [02:22:03]:
Why not?

Brian [02:22:05]:
Mentally speaking, I can't go to a lawyer and be like, all right, I'm going to draft. What attachments do you have towards that piece of paper? Means nothing to me.

Phillip [02:22:14]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:22:14]:
It's just that knowing that, it takes me back from the whole idea of being married.

Phillip [02:22:20]:
Right.

Eldar [02:22:21]:
There is some kind of attachment.

Brian [02:22:22]:
There is attachment to that marriage idea, where it's done, you did it, and now you hold on to it as best as you can. Obviously, if I feel like our relationship is poisonous and it's not good for us, then we're going to split up and we're going to get divorced. But to have an open marriage and to go and get divorced just to say that we got divorced, just to say that we have an open relationship, it doesn't make a difference to me. I mean, it means something to me in the sense that I would never do that, and she wouldn't want to do that either. And to go backwards doesn't make sense we just move forward.

Oleg C [02:22:58]:
If he doesn't hold himself to the oaths of marriage, why would he need to discard my.

Brian [02:23:02]:
Because he's in one formally go.

Eldar [02:23:05]:
Because he's telling Philip that if go back. If he, you know, ten years ago, he. He wouldn't get married in the first place.

Brian [02:23:12]:
But that's information that I know now, that if I knew back then, just like, if you go back, there's nothing.

Eldar [02:23:18]:
That you're doing right now in your life that's marriage is holding you back.

Brian [02:23:21]:
Nothing.

Eldar [02:23:21]:
Okay, so then it's whatever.

Brian [02:23:23]:
Nothing.

Eldar [02:23:23]:
Yeah, right.

Brian [02:23:24]:
It's just having that piece of paper.

Eldar [02:23:26]:
But if it did, you would.

Anatoliy [02:23:28]:
It is holding him back from falling in love with somebody else.

Brian [02:23:31]:
No, that's the open relationship, which I'm not looking for. I'm not looking for that. That's not my end product. My end product is not to fall in love. I don't give a fuck about falling in love.

Phillip [02:23:39]:
But I thought that was a rule of the open relationship.

Brian [02:23:41]:
Not the man, not. That's why I'm not seeking for that.

Eldar [02:23:45]:
Because he's seeking for something else.

Brian [02:23:47]:
Else.

Phillip [02:23:47]:
Right.

Brian [02:23:48]:
My experience is, like I said, I could have a different experience with you than I could have with him. I could have with him, her and these two guys. I'm getting something different from each and every one of you, where I'm able to learn from you guys and use that. However, I like bits and pieces, that puzzle that you were talking about, and use that into producing the life that I want.

Phillip [02:24:10]:
Right.

Brian [02:24:10]:
So I'm learning, I'm experiencing, and I'm putting it towards the life that I want. Not to say that I currently don't have the life that I want. It's just that things that I'm tweaking to make it a little bit better for myself.

Phillip [02:24:21]:
Yeah. Okay.

Oleg C [02:24:22]:
I remember my question because I think you mentioned your experiences, which, from what I understood, is your rendezvous with these girls are helping your growth or whatever. Right. Improving your life. But I was like, I guess, like how?

Brian [02:24:42]:
My question. So most of the girls, and we talked about the type of girls that I would date, right? It's not girls that work at wendy's, right. Most girls that I date are at mid level range, right. They're college educated, they have a decent.

Oleg C [02:24:59]:
Amount of careers, they're intellectually stimulating people, the economy.

Phillip [02:25:03]:
Right.

Brian [02:25:04]:
There's things that in their world that I could learn, that I could produce in my future life.

Phillip [02:25:09]:
Right.

Brian [02:25:10]:
And I'm learning from them and I'm gaining. How is it different?

Oleg C [02:25:14]:
Sorry, to interrupt?

Phillip [02:25:14]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:25:15]:
How is it different from just interacting with. Just because every man is your teacher.

Phillip [02:25:18]:
Right.

Mike [02:25:19]:
Could you now learn those things that you're saying you learned from them, from.

Eldar [02:25:21]:
Other people without dipping the pickle?

Mike [02:25:24]:
Without.

Brian [02:25:27]:
It doesn't have to.

Mike [02:25:28]:
No.

Eldar [02:25:28]:
Maybe transfer something.

Brian [02:25:33]:
No, but I never said zapier connection. If you were here earlier for the conversation.

Eldar [02:25:40]:
I call it the stinger. When I sting her, I'm a bee.

Brian [02:25:44]:
It's not always sexual.

Anatoliy [02:25:45]:
It's your husband.

Brian [02:25:46]:
It doesn't have to be always sexual.

Oleg C [02:25:48]:
It's a member of the opposite sex. It's a romantic.

Phillip [02:25:51]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:25:52]:
I could learn it from Mike. I could learn it from you guys too.

Eldar [02:25:54]:
Oh, my God. Yeah, the pooper stinker's closed.

Brian [02:25:58]:
Me personally, I have a thing for females in general. I feel like I have this connection more with females than I do with male.

Phillip [02:26:08]:
Kramer called it the.

Brian [02:26:09]:
Oh, well, their experiencing in life helps me learn from their experiences. Grow as an individual. I'm learning different things from them where I'm able to grow as an individual. Maybe I learn those things also.

Eldar [02:26:21]:
Can the word grow be a substituted to conquer?

Brian [02:26:24]:
Yes.

Oleg C [02:26:26]:
You took Marianne to the movies.

Brian [02:26:28]:
Yeah. Marianne.

Eldar [02:26:30]:
Why you got to use like a 1960s name?

Brian [02:26:32]:
Mary Ann Marianne. These fucking Jersey girls named Marianne Bro.

Eldar [02:26:38]:
Vivian or something. You know what I mean? Dorothy. Dorothy.

Brian [02:26:46]:
Anyway, so it's not one date. I'm not learning from these girls. Out of one date. A few times. Chat.

Phillip [02:26:54]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:26:54]:
I don't know, car parts or whatever.

Eldar [02:26:56]:
But you always land in the orange mix up.

Brian [02:27:00]:
Because the conversation I'm having with you is different from that I'm having with Mike.

Phillip [02:27:04]:
We talked about variety versus growth and he values variety very highly.

Brian [02:27:08]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:27:09]:
What is the distinction between variety of people and variety of girls? Like, here, he's just learning. It just sounds other people.

Mike [02:27:18]:
The vulnerability becomes much bigger.

Oleg C [02:27:22]:
More people open up.

Brian [02:27:23]:
That's actually quite true.

Phillip [02:27:24]:
Is it?

Oleg C [02:27:25]:
Learning?

Brian [02:27:28]:
Mike understands that.

Mike [02:27:29]:
I said, when you put the pickle in the middle.

Phillip [02:27:31]:
Yes.

Mike [02:27:31]:
The vulnerability becomes much bigger.

Eldar [02:27:33]:
Bigger. Okay.

Mike [02:27:34]:
Because the way you connect physically so much the person opens up and they'll give you the secrets. Like, I'm not going to tell you my deepest secrets because we never did.

Brian [02:27:46]:
Exactly.

Mike [02:27:47]:
Yeah, I think that's what it is.

Phillip [02:27:49]:
Right.

Brian [02:27:49]:
They open up more one day. Yes.

Mike [02:27:53]:
But could you be the one who, like, let's say you wanted to be the one who's vulnerable, right?

Brian [02:27:58]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:27:59]:
No, but do you need them to be vulnerable first so that you can then be vulnerable or are you the vulnerable one and then they open up?

Brian [02:28:05]:
That's a great question. That's a great question.

Eldar [02:28:10]:
But you have good questions.

Brian [02:28:11]:
No, that's a great question. So I'm naturally not vulnerable at all, right? I don't like to open up at all. That's just because I built these walls throughout my years of growing and experiencing life where I can't have that openness, where I've been burned for being, too.

Eldar [02:28:31]:
How do you differentiate, Mike finally got them.

Anatoliy [02:28:35]:
So then how do you differentiate being.

Phillip [02:28:39]:
Busy to being happy?

Eldar [02:28:41]:
Whoa, whoa.

Mike [02:28:42]:
Are you trying to take it there?

Brian [02:28:43]:
Yeah, I see it.

Oleg C [02:28:44]:
That's a whole new podcast.

Eldar [02:28:45]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:28:47]:
How much more time you guys have now? I want pizza.

Oleg C [02:28:56]:
I want, like it. I gotta leave my neck back.

Eldar [02:29:07]:
I heard it.

Oleg C [02:29:08]:
Of course, but there's nowhere to put.

Anatoliy [02:29:09]:
Your head back there.

Phillip [02:29:10]:
I want, like, an egg roll pizza.

Oleg C [02:29:13]:
Brian, energy.

Brian [02:29:22]:
No, I wouldn't mind. But you have to take a picture of it, though, right?

Oleg C [02:29:26]:
That's emasculating you.

Phillip [02:29:27]:
Good.

Katherine [02:29:29]:
Penny wants to be on his lap.

Brian [02:29:31]:
She loves you.

Eldar [02:29:32]:
She loves you, Brian.

Brian [02:29:33]:
You're questioning, right? What are you actually asking?

Mike [02:29:38]:
Whoa.

Brian [02:29:39]:
Well, what is the actual question that you're asking?

Eldar [02:29:42]:
Don't be around the bush with it.

Phillip [02:29:43]:
Right?

Anatoliy [02:29:44]:
No, I'm asking, like you were saying before, about my understanding of what is that you're doing this for growth, right? That's, like, the main premise. Yeah, growth and expense.

Mike [02:29:55]:
How about a little bit of excitement.

Eldar [02:29:56]:
In there as well?

Brian [02:29:57]:
Yeah, plenty of excitement.

Anatoliy [02:29:59]:
But you're saying that you're happy, right? You're happy with your life now, right?

Phillip [02:30:02]:
Correct.

Anatoliy [02:30:03]:
But you just said that.

Phillip [02:30:07]:
You have.

Anatoliy [02:30:08]:
A hard time opening up and being vulnerable.

Phillip [02:30:11]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:30:11]:
And there was one more thing.

Brian [02:30:14]:
What else did she say?

Anatoliy [02:30:15]:
I just forgot that I build walls. Yeah, you build walls.

Mike [02:30:21]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:30:23]:
And then you were also saying that you do get jealous. For example, if your wife goes on vacation and comes back and doesn't spend time with you. Which leads me to believe that you do want to be vulnerable and you do want to open up.

Phillip [02:30:37]:
Right?

Brian [02:30:38]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:30:39]:
But then you have all these different things that are going on, and then you have this desire to have all these different experiences.

Phillip [02:30:45]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:30:46]:
So I guess the question is the whole point of having all these different experiences.

Eldar [02:30:52]:
To find that.

Phillip [02:30:53]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:30:53]:
To either find that or to hold you over until you can get to a point where you can properly open up, for example, with one person.

Phillip [02:31:01]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:31:01]:
And not have to sub yourself.

Eldar [02:31:04]:
What he's saying is that if you actually fall in love, the gig is.

Phillip [02:31:07]:
Up, the shop will be closed.

Brian [02:31:09]:
No, he said he is in love.

Eldar [02:31:12]:
That's what he's saying, but he's challenging that.

Brian [02:31:14]:
Right?

Eldar [02:31:15]:
He has problems in his marriage. He just said it. These are my problems.

Phillip [02:31:20]:
Right.

Brian [02:31:20]:
It's not the problems that are in traditional marriages.

Phillip [02:31:23]:
Right.

Brian [02:31:24]:
But I do have an issue with my wife coming home and going to see another man rather than spend time.

Eldar [02:31:28]:
Just not perfect, bro, what do you.

Phillip [02:31:29]:
Think this was going to be?

Brian [02:31:30]:
Just even though my wife is at the level of perfection, but there's tidbits that doesn't make her perfect.

Phillip [02:31:36]:
Yeah. Right.

Anatoliy [02:31:41]:
I think in general, a lot of people, they keep busy.

Phillip [02:31:46]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:31:46]:
With a lot of different things. And I don't think it's like intentional ploys to like, hey, I'm going to do all this stuff so that I don't have to look within or see what's going on. I'm not convinced that these are all intentional poise to do that, but I just think that it could end up that way where some people are doing that.

Phillip [02:32:09]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:32:11]:
Not always intentionally, obviously.

Phillip [02:32:14]:
So, yeah.

Anatoliy [02:32:16]:
My questions are for your own life. For example, how do you differentiate being happy versus you're just being busy. Yeah. Because with all these different girls and people, you can definitely stay busy by having a lot of different conversations about a lot of different topics. And I'm sure that you can talk about completely different things with all these different people, which.

Phillip [02:32:43]:
You do it because.

Anatoliy [02:32:44]:
You want to and because you like it.

Phillip [02:32:46]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:32:46]:
But it definitely takes up an energy.

Phillip [02:32:48]:
Right?

Brian [02:32:49]:
A lot of energy, actually.

Anatoliy [02:32:51]:
Yeah, a lot of energy.

Phillip [02:32:52]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:32:53]:
But the question is that are you doing it because you're potentially missing the connection that you could have with one of them that could not make you want to pursue this at all because you are getting what you actually want and you will no longer have that feeling of your partner, for example, coming back from vacation and not giving you attention or just like, in general, things like that, you'll find what you're actually looking for without having to do these experiences.

Brian [02:33:25]:
I get what you're saying. I seek for these things because it makes me happy, not because it's stopping.

Phillip [02:33:34]:
Me from.

Brian [02:33:37]:
Finding something that I really, what you were touching upon was I need only one person and have these conversations with one person and feel vulnerable with one person rather than have to go elsewhere because I'm not going to be vulnerable with these individuals. Right. My walls do come down. They don't stay up constantly over time within great conversations. And knowing how these individuals move makes me feel comfortable enough to open up and then have those correct and put down that vulnerability and that walls that I have and then be able to do that with many others. I enjoy knowing that I have some sort of faith in people again. And that's what makes me kind of happy, knowing that I can't just fully go through life thinking the way that I did because of my past experiences. And it has nothing to do with females, just generally speaking.

Brian [02:34:38]:
And knowing that I actually have faith in humans.

Phillip [02:34:41]:
Right.

Brian [02:34:41]:
Because some people just hate. They have a lot of hate for others because they've been wronged. And they don't give that other person or other people the opportunity to open up and be themselves because they're afraid.

Phillip [02:34:54]:
They'Re going to get hurt again.

Anatoliy [02:34:56]:
Now, with all these different, for example, relationships that you have, do you feel like in those relationships you're almost, in a way, like with your experiences and your knowledge and let's say, wisdom. Are you put up on a pedestal because of that?

Phillip [02:35:12]:
By whom?

Anatoliy [02:35:13]:
By the girls.

Brian [02:35:14]:
By the girls. I can't speak for them, but is.

Phillip [02:35:18]:
That the vibe that you get?

Anatoliy [02:35:20]:
They feel that you have a lot to offer knowledge wise, so they respect you and put you up there because they feel that you're experienced and that, you know, a lot.

Brian [02:35:30]:
I feel what they really enjoy out of me is not being able to put me on a pedestal and say, hey, this is what I enjoy a lot about Brian because he's able to have all that experience in us, because I'm able to provide them something that maybe they weren't able to get from their partners.

Anatoliy [02:35:44]:
Well, that's what I'm saying. Is that what you're providing them? Is that what you're providing them to.

Mike [02:35:49]:
Be the big dog?

Anatoliy [02:35:52]:
Yeah. You're basically almost like in relationships with him, but you're almost like a father figure role as well.

Phillip [02:35:59]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:35:59]:
So then he's dominating all over.

Eldar [02:36:01]:
100%.

Brian [02:36:02]:
100%.

Mike [02:36:03]:
He's a power hungry.

Oleg C [02:36:04]:
So it's kind of like getting the attention of being the dominating, of course, person.

Phillip [02:36:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:36:09]:
He really enjoys that identity. He's a provider. He provides and he helps people.

Phillip [02:36:15]:
All right.

Eldar [02:36:16]:
You know what I'm saying?

Brian [02:36:17]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:36:17]:
Okay. Yeah.

Oleg C [02:36:18]:
But it seems like he enjoyed a two prong, though, also these girls.

Eldar [02:36:22]:
But ultimately, I think that because of the fact that he's still looking, it's not like he got two girls, ten girls, and he stops. He's still looking.

Phillip [02:36:31]:
There's something missing, right?

Oleg C [02:36:33]:
Is there rotation?

Brian [02:36:34]:
Like two?

Eldar [02:36:34]:
If there is something missing.

Brian [02:36:36]:
At one point that was the case, okay? At one point it was the case.

Oleg C [02:36:39]:
Until I just collecting more like you have four, then you have five.

Brian [02:36:42]:
It's like collecting data right. I mean, you need plenty of. Yeah, you need to have enough data.

Phillip [02:36:48]:
To make them more excited.

Eldar [02:36:52]:
I think in order to get stuck on one thing, you have to like it so much that nobody else can provide you with anything else. So I think that the seeking continues up until you do that. And I think being in an open relationship, which in this case I agree with, is a good thing, if you have not found that right, that which actually fulfills you fully as a person, fully.

Anatoliy [02:37:17]:
You keep looking, you keep looking.

Eldar [02:37:20]:
So then in that sense, that definitely don't get stuck with being in the wrong relationships. I promote the fact that if you're in a bad relationship, you got to break it up. Or if you're in a marriage that's not working, break it up because of the fact that you're stunting growth and stuff like that. So I think innately he's probably feeling that, but he's still seeking. But ultimately I think that I personally, this is my theory that the end is not an open relationship. The end is an actual closed relationship. And everybody knows exactly what the rules of engagements are. And it's perfect.

Mike [02:37:52]:
The open relationship, in a way, the way I see it, is a way to protect yourself 100% in order to have almost a full relationship where it's just one on one, but enough room for error that you're not all the way in, you're not all the way out, but you get almost everything not fully committed. And that's why, like he said, he's not vulnerable. When you're not vulnerable, I think you have a fear. You're operating out of fear where you're scared that person's going to hurt you.

Oleg C [02:38:19]:
The person just outside the normal bell curve, like he's just missing those circuits.

Mike [02:38:25]:
I think the stuff that he's gravitating towards, it's not specific to him. Every single person is looking for love, to love and to be loved. And that looks a very specific way.

Brian [02:38:37]:
I get my love plenty.

Mike [02:38:40]:
It's still not fulfilling him to the point.

Oleg C [02:38:43]:
I feel like Mike is challenging.

Phillip [02:38:44]:
No.

Brian [02:38:44]:
What do you say? I don't have a problem obtaining love. I have plenty of love.

Eldar [02:38:49]:
So what does he have a problem with?

Phillip [02:38:50]:
Nothing.

Eldar [02:38:51]:
You just said you have a problem with what?

Brian [02:38:53]:
No, I said I have no problem. He doesn't have a problem obtaining love.

Eldar [02:38:58]:
So what is that you're seeking?

Brian [02:39:00]:
It's not per se what I'm seeking. I seek for nothing currently.

Eldar [02:39:03]:
I seek for if you're always looking.

Mike [02:39:05]:
Experiencing, how could you always be looking but never seeking?

Brian [02:39:09]:
Well, I seek to find new experiences.

Mike [02:39:12]:
But why are you looking for those experiences? Because your current experience is not fulfilling it.

Brian [02:39:15]:
You're seeking your not true. Well, yes and no. I seek to experience, and I experience.

Eldar [02:39:22]:
To seek because you lack of experience.

Mike [02:39:24]:
But if you found the experience that really is the best one, why would.

Eldar [02:39:27]:
You look for more experience?

Brian [02:39:29]:
My wife, hands down, provides me everything.

Eldar [02:39:32]:
That I need, minus the times when she does.

Brian [02:39:35]:
But let's just assume we're not in an open relationship, right. Let's just go back to time and talk about our relationship as a whole. Right before the open relationship, she then provided me everything I needed and still currently provides me everything that I needed.

Eldar [02:39:50]:
Yeah, but that's not true. How'd you deviate, though?

Brian [02:39:54]:
The deviation was to be able to experience life above what I'm able to provide her and what she's able to provide.

Anatoliy [02:40:02]:
So then you guys are both not.

Brian [02:40:04]:
That's the assumption. The assumption is that the experiences that I'm able to provide, that you're able to provide me, are different from what she's able to provide me. Whether it's a sexual interaction, whether it's a mental interaction, emotional interaction, it's different. What I'm seeking for, technically, is something different from what my wife can teach me in all of those aspects.

Phillip [02:40:29]:
I told you, he values variety over growth in love. He values the difference experience. No, he does, because if he is finding whatever he needs in the love relationship, he wouldn't need to deviate. He values variety so much where he is wanting to experience bits and pieces in each one.

Eldar [02:40:48]:
No, I think there's something that's missing. I think there's something that's missing.

Phillip [02:40:51]:
No, but that's built into what I just said.

Eldar [02:40:55]:
Variety is not something that you feel, bro.

Phillip [02:40:58]:
Yeah, but exactly.

Eldar [02:41:02]:
What you feel is not being understood, not being heard. That's what you feel. You don't feel variety, bro.

Phillip [02:41:09]:
But that's the point. If he felt everything that he needed in the one, if he got everything, he wouldn't have to go outside. So he is going outside because I.

Eldar [02:41:19]:
There's something missing. Variety. You can't miss variety.

Phillip [02:41:21]:
But that's what I'm saying. In this example, he's valuing variety.

Anatoliy [02:41:25]:
No, I.

Eldar [02:41:29]:
Maybe has given him the impression that he's going to get something else. You understand?

Phillip [02:41:35]:
But it doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. I'm saying in this example, if he valued growth in love, I think in this example he would say, I'm going to go to my wife and I'm going to try to figure out whatever is missing. In this example. He's saying, at least to us, that he's going out elsewhere and trying to get it.

Eldar [02:41:55]:
You can't solve it with variety, though.

Phillip [02:41:57]:
But in this example, he's valuing variety more because if he was going to go the love route.

Eldar [02:42:02]:
So then you're saying that he's not valuing growth or love at all.

Phillip [02:42:05]:
That's what I'm saying. I'm saying he's valuing variety.

Oleg C [02:42:09]:
What both of you guys are saying.

Phillip [02:42:10]:
I'm saying he's valuing variety over variety.

Anatoliy [02:42:15]:
Numbs out the missingness.

Brian [02:42:17]:
Yes.

Phillip [02:42:18]:
So I'm saying he's valuing that more than the growth element.

Oleg C [02:42:21]:
I imagine you have a shitload of.

Eldar [02:42:23]:
Jobs, but it doesn't, fundamentally, variety has.

Brian [02:42:26]:
No. Okay, yeah, I agree.

Eldar [02:42:30]:
Okay.

Phillip [02:42:31]:
That's why I'm saying. When we were talking about variety and growth, and when I asked the question, I was saying that if you're going.

Eldar [02:42:36]:
To a bunch of. If you have inability to be able to confide, open up and everything else with your wife, then I can see how variety might be the option. You know what I'm saying?

Phillip [02:42:47]:
But that's what I'm saying.

Eldar [02:42:48]:
That's not because the variety is the thing, it's because the inability to open up, inability to be vulnerable with your wife.

Phillip [02:42:56]:
Yeah, and we're not disagreeing. So I'm saying there is something that is a disconnect there. So that disconnect to not be vulnerable or whatever that may be. That's the thing. Yeah, but to my point, I'm saying that there is something there that's bringing him out to all these other experiences. And to me, your value system has to say, I want to get a little piece from everybody.

Eldar [02:43:16]:
Sure. But it's not variety, it's lack of something. Therefore, variety comes in. Into place in the first place.

Phillip [02:43:24]:
But he is valuing variety. No, you can't value lack. You can't value lack, I'm telling you.

Eldar [02:43:32]:
But that's the reasoning behind variety.

Anatoliy [02:43:37]:
Variety helps compensate for the.

Phillip [02:43:38]:
No, but.

Brian [02:43:39]:
Yeah, I agree with you.

Oleg C [02:43:40]:
But I want to correct you.

Eldar [02:43:43]:
Correct.

Phillip [02:43:44]:
But you're making the decision to say that I'm not going to pursue this love because there is a lack. So I am.

Eldar [02:43:50]:
You can't say that out loud.

Brian [02:43:51]:
Exactly.

Anatoliy [02:43:53]:
No, but you're making the assumption that he's consciously aware of that.

Phillip [02:43:56]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:43:56]:
No, he's not aware of that.

Phillip [02:43:57]:
But I'm asking him if he values variety over growth.

Anatoliy [02:44:01]:
No, there's no way he would say there's no chance. There's no way that would be true.

Phillip [02:44:10]:
How?

Mike [02:44:11]:
You can't say that.

Phillip [02:44:12]:
But if you're going to other people and trying to get a little bit from everybody else, how would you not say that that's variety over growth?

Anatoliy [02:44:21]:
Why are you comparing variety and growth?

Phillip [02:44:23]:
Because he's saying that he wants to do all these things because it's helping him grow and it's helping these other people.

Anatoliy [02:44:30]:
There you go.

Eldar [02:44:31]:
Yes.

Anatoliy [02:44:31]:
So he's saying that this stuff is actually helping him grow, not that he needs variety to grow.

Phillip [02:44:36]:
No, what I'm saying is that you wouldn't have to go this route if you didn't value variety. If you just valued growth, you'd be.

Anatoliy [02:44:43]:
Okay with doing it with the value of the variety. No, it's that, like, there's no choice but to have variety. It's not that you want variety.

Brian [02:44:54]:
No, it is because I want variety.

Phillip [02:44:57]:
If you valued growth, you just pick one person.

Anatoliy [02:45:00]:
No, that's assuming that you would be a person that believes that the most growth happens with one person. You would need to be under that value system. But he's clearly not.

Brian [02:45:17]:
Yeah, I grow more with multiple women. You see.

Anatoliy [02:45:22]:
If he was saying, I do value being with one person, for example, if he was saying that, then you could have your argument. But he's not saying that. He's not saying that.

Mike [02:45:34]:
I think. I guess the one thing that keeps coming to my mind is that somehow into this puzzle, it's a lack of empowerment. Where he feels like he needs these women, right? That all the stuff that he does with these girls is actually making him happy. And he feels like he's empowered because he's not sure how to actually get that empowerment on his own. If you knew how to get that empowerment on, you know you will be able to recreate it wherever you go. And you wouldn't need multiple issues. You just need one, because then you would able to be attracted exactly what you want. When you're empowered, you go into situations.

Eldar [02:46:09]:
Hence, if variety was the issue, Philip, he'll continue have ten. No, the majority more women equals more problems.

Phillip [02:46:17]:
Yeah, we're not saying that variety is the issue. I'm saying that if growth was his number one point of variety does not accomplish it. I understand this, but I'm saying what he's choosing.

Eldar [02:46:31]:
Inability to be vulnerable with your wife or with somebody else. But same thing anywhere, across any variety you're talking about.

Phillip [02:46:37]:
I get this, though, but he's making the choice to say, I want to experience a little bit with a lot of people.

Mike [02:46:44]:
Yeah, because he has not found a way to actually experience that with a lot.

Anatoliy [02:46:50]:
Yeah, but he doesn't believe that either.

Phillip [02:46:52]:
You're assuming that he believes that, but.

Brian [02:46:56]:
That is the truth. I do believe that my wife does provide me everything that I asked. No question that before. He does believe that experiencing a lot.

Oleg C [02:47:05]:
With his wife plus more with others.

Mike [02:47:08]:
The thing is, what he said is his wife provides.

Oleg C [02:47:10]:
You're saying like there's some people.

Phillip [02:47:13]:
But.

Phillip [02:47:14]:
I don't disagree with what you guys are saying. All I'm saying is that when you make a choice, variety has to be something that you really value. Like you have to.

Anatoliy [02:47:23]:
I don't think the variety is a choice here.

Eldar [02:47:25]:
Yeah, variety is a consequence.

Anatoliy [02:47:28]:
Yeah, it's a consequence.

Eldar [02:47:29]:
Variety has to come into play, bro.

Phillip [02:47:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:47:32]:
And he just found a way to have a conversations around it, which I agree with that. Like, look, the truth of the matter is. But you're saying the reason why actualize ourselves. We can actualize ourselves fully if we go through different people.

Phillip [02:47:44]:
But you're saying the reason why, and we both agree on the reason why. There is something lack and it's not in truth. What I'm saying is that consciously you are making a decision to say that. I do value variety. I want to experience all this, everything.

Eldar [02:47:58]:
But that's the wrong premise then.

Phillip [02:47:59]:
But then you're basically disagreeing with his lifestyle at that point.

Eldar [02:48:03]:
That's why I don't buy it.

Phillip [02:48:04]:
Okay, not in it, but that's fine. But I'm saying that there has to be a choice that you're making. And if I'm saying that I'm in a committed relationship and I'm in a marriage and I don't want to do this with everybody else, I'm making commitments to that one person and saying that we're going to try to fulfill each other and we're going to try to give each other everything that we need. If I made the decision to go elsewhere, I would say that I value variety over growth.

Mike [02:48:30]:
Because the thing is, the variety is a response to a fear I understand of being vulnerable.

Phillip [02:48:37]:
But I agree with that.

Oleg C [02:48:39]:
Why is growth with a woman or with many women?

Brian [02:48:44]:
What the fuck?

Oleg C [02:48:46]:
Why can't women in relationships be here and growth here? Why is that?

Phillip [02:48:50]:
Like, well, we're talking in the context of marriage also, but marriage is bullshit.

Brian [02:48:56]:
What they're saying is that I'm missing out on something with my wife and I'm seeking it out from others. That's wrong. That's not what's happening here at all. Your thought process on that is totally wrong. That's not what's happening at all here. I'm getting everything from my wife that I ever needed in my life. Could I at any point?

Mike [02:49:13]:
Then you're just being greedy.

Brian [02:49:14]:
You're saying I'm being greedy? Give to the needy, baby. You know what I'm saying? If I could be with 50, like Neller said, if I could be with 50 fucking women, I would be. But I can't handle that. That's way too much. We've had this conversation. There's a number that I can.

Anatoliy [02:49:26]:
Isn't the premise with wanting more not having enough?

Oleg C [02:49:31]:
It's not wanting, no.

Mike [02:49:32]:
But the thing is your state of mind. Remember we talked about the being overweight thing? You still live in an image of being overweight even though you're not overweight like you were before, right? So you're still in that mentality. You still don't feel like you don't have enough.

Phillip [02:49:45]:
Right?

Mike [02:49:45]:
You feel like because of those years you were fat, you weren't able to experience those things and now you're trying to fucking laugh. That, and you're trying to catch up.

Brian [02:49:51]:
Which I believe I've already caught up with over the years, currently, even after being married and I didn't need to be.

Oleg C [02:49:58]:
In an open psychodynamic perspective.

Anatoliy [02:50:01]:
I'm just asking, would you agree that the idea with wanting more, if somebody wants more, it means that they don't have enough? Is that true?

Brian [02:50:12]:
It's not always true. Just because I want more doesn't mean that I don't get enough.

Anatoliy [02:50:17]:
But then do you agree that if you have enough, you wouldn't want more?

Brian [02:50:21]:
That's not true, because. Wait, hold on. Why is it more?

Oleg C [02:50:26]:
Why can't it be? He has this. He wants other things, too.

Anatoliy [02:50:29]:
Not related to this at all. Just in this statement, would you agree that it's true that if you have enough, you do not want more, or if you want more, it means that you do not have enough. Is that true?

Phillip [02:50:42]:
Hard to say.

Oleg C [02:50:43]:
Overeating feels way better than just regular.

Anatoliy [02:50:46]:
I'm asking you a question in that premise in particular. If you have enough, it's impossible for you to want more, right? And if you don't have enough, you naturally want more.

Phillip [02:50:55]:
Right?

Oleg C [02:50:56]:
Okay, so this I don't feel like enough is when you have too much. Like if you think with eating when you have too much, you don't want more. But if you have enough, you still want more because it feels good to put a little more in.

Phillip [02:51:07]:
No.

Phillip [02:51:09]:
Right.

Anatoliy [02:51:09]:
It's a mental just saying in that statement. To me, it sounds true.

Oleg C [02:51:14]:
No, logic wise, once you have enough, you do not need more.

Anatoliy [02:51:17]:
If he's getting enough. Is that a logical statement?

Oleg C [02:51:18]:
But there's also bonuses.

Phillip [02:51:20]:
No, if he's getting enough from his wife.

Oleg C [02:51:22]:
Wait, hold on.

Phillip [02:51:23]:
Totally.

Eldar [02:51:25]:
It's a fallacy, bro.

Phillip [02:51:26]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:51:27]:
Enough or wanting more? Enough ends. Enough has a period.

Phillip [02:51:32]:
Okay?

Eldar [02:51:32]:
Period.

Phillip [02:51:32]:
Yes.

Oleg C [02:51:33]:
I think enough is a very.

Phillip [02:51:35]:
This is my point.

Phillip [02:51:35]:
Correct.

Brian [02:51:36]:
Fake.

Anatoliy [02:51:36]:
No, it's not. It's logic.

Eldar [02:51:39]:
But it's logic.

Brian [02:51:40]:
If you believe you have enough, don't you want more?

Eldar [02:51:42]:
Can two plus two be five?

Oleg C [02:51:44]:
No, totally. But I'm saying, like, can you really define enough for a human?

Phillip [02:51:48]:
He's saying getting enough.

Eldar [02:51:50]:
No, we're not defining what he's saying that he's making the claim of I have enough. What is he looking for, bro?

Brian [02:51:57]:
So this is what I'm. Well, no, because it's his counterpoint to you guys saying.

Eldar [02:52:01]:
He doesn't say away.

Phillip [02:52:02]:
This is my point.

Oleg C [02:52:03]:
It's his counterpoint to you guys saying he doesn't have enough.

Phillip [02:52:05]:
He has enough from his wife. So why I'm saying that he values variety. He's getting enough from his wife. He wants to see that in others. He wants to put another face to whatever he has. So if he gets why? That's his curiosity. I don't know.

Eldar [02:52:23]:
That's his what I'm saying.

Brian [02:52:24]:
That's his thing, but that's what.

Eldar [02:52:26]:
I can't say that.

Phillip [02:52:27]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:52:28]:
The way that I define this is that somebody would. He's telling me that he values variety very, very high. And that makes sense to me, because if you didn't value variety so high, where you want to basically replicate whatever you have with your wife, he's saying that he's diluting whatever that is. So let's say it's a ten. With his wife, he's telling us that if he's with a girl, he can't have the love element. So let's say it's an 8.5. He's able to go out and see what he's seeing with his wife, with a girl, and see that in a different face, a different smell, a different conversation, a different style, something else. He's valuing variety, correct?

Eldar [02:53:04]:
Of what? Himself.

Phillip [02:53:05]:
No variety in the other person giving him the same image or the same feeling or a similar feeling.

Mike [02:53:13]:
But that shows that he doesn't believe that he's able to create that feeling.

Eldar [02:53:17]:
Himself, to be himself around whatever.

Phillip [02:53:19]:
That is all I'm saying is that variety is a huge component of this lifestyle.

Eldar [02:53:24]:
Yeah, no, I don't think so at all.

Phillip [02:53:26]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:53:26]:
I'm just asking in the statement, if an individual, on any topic, anything, marbles, oranges, women, whatever it is, if they have enough, would they want more?

Phillip [02:53:37]:
If they had enough?

Anatoliy [02:53:38]:
To me, it's a logical statement. If you have enough, then you don't want more. If you don't have enough, you want more.

Phillip [02:53:44]:
So the way that he's describing it is that he doesn't need any more. But what he is choosing is that he is choosing in this open relationship, which is definitely different from the normal.

Anatoliy [02:53:54]:
Well, then you don't have enough then.

Phillip [02:53:56]:
No, he's saying that.

Anatoliy [02:53:57]:
Can't just bypass logical statement.

Phillip [02:54:00]:
He's saying that he has enough, period. End of sentence. Then he is able to. In this open relationship, which is definitely a portal to an open new way of doing a relationship, he's able to try to take whatever he has with his wife and do it with somebody else.

Brian [02:54:17]:
Recreate.

Eldar [02:54:17]:
Yeah, but we're just saying, why would you do that? Why would you spend time, money, energy and everything else?

Phillip [02:54:26]:
Because it's new. He's valuing variety. I understand that. Because variety is definitely exciting. So if he's trying to do.

Mike [02:54:34]:
He's missing excitement and he's not fulfilled.

Eldar [02:54:36]:
Yes, bro, you just said it.

Phillip [02:54:39]:
But he's saying that he's getting everything he needs from his wife. So in this example. So you think that he's not.

Eldar [02:54:44]:
He's actually lying.

Phillip [02:54:45]:
Okay, so you're thinking that he's not.

Brian [02:54:46]:
Absolutely.

Phillip [02:54:47]:
Do you think that he's not also, what? Do you think that he's not getting everything from his wife 100%. You guys both think.

Eldar [02:54:54]:
Not 100%.

Phillip [02:54:54]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:54:55]:
Like, for example, which is a normal.

Eldar [02:54:57]:
Thing phenomenon, which I teach. If both people agree, like, yo, babe, I'm not getting enough of this. I really like this. But you are not about this life, me shitting on your chest. You know what I'm saying? Right? During this. I'm about this. You're not about this. I got to get it somewhere else.

Eldar [02:55:09]:
I'm going to go get it somewhere else because that's what I'm about.

Phillip [02:55:12]:
Got it.

Eldar [02:55:12]:
You know what I mean?

Brian [02:55:13]:
I got you.

Phillip [02:55:13]:
Don't worry.

Phillip [02:55:14]:
So what do you say to then thinking that there is something missing. What do you say to that challenge to that something is missing with your wife? So what is your mindset, I guess behind that?

Mike [02:55:24]:
You said he's also not chasing this in other areas of his life. So he clearly knows that certain areas he's receiving.

Phillip [02:55:30]:
Exactly.

Eldar [02:55:30]:
He's not trying exactly what he wants.

Oleg C [02:55:32]:
But why is it not just. He's evolutionary programmed to be and he's maybe even more an extreme end of the bell curve.

Anatoliy [02:55:41]:
Well, because he's not a monkey.

Oleg C [02:55:43]:
But what do you mean he's not a monkey? Yes, he is. No, you're a monkey, I'm a monkey.

Mike [02:55:48]:
So what?

Oleg C [02:55:50]:
We're all animals, humans around for millions of years, right?

Brian [02:55:57]:
Yeah, but he's a higher.

Oleg C [02:55:59]:
This higher level of consciousness has only existed for like, I don't know, a few hundred, maybe a couple of thousand weeks. Before that, there's hundreds of thousands of years of people living and evolutionary developing. If straight up, survive, fuck, eat, get allies, protect yourself, eat, sleep, game and shit. But yeah, why is he just not like a guy, but at the more extreme end of the programming? Because we're all like.

Brian [02:56:26]:
No, no.

Phillip [02:56:27]:
What do you mean?

Oleg C [02:56:27]:
It's just a natural program and.

Phillip [02:56:31]:
He.

Anatoliy [02:56:31]:
Doesn'T have the ability.

Eldar [02:56:32]:
He is an NPC.

Phillip [02:56:34]:
Wait, so, Brian, what did you just call them?

Oleg C [02:56:36]:
But everybody has their voice. You watch videos on your phone when you get home.

Phillip [02:56:39]:
Totally.

Phillip [02:56:41]:
He chooses to do so.

Brian [02:56:43]:
What does that mean?

Anatoliy [02:56:44]:
He's not saying that he's watching videos.

Eldar [02:56:46]:
On his phone because you say he has no self control at all.

Oleg C [02:56:49]:
Yeah, but he might not say it. But why do you think we get addicted to videos? It's all evolutionary programming.

Eldar [02:56:56]:
Free will.

Anatoliy [02:56:56]:
What do you mean, evolutionary programming?

Brian [02:56:58]:
Your brain free will.

Oleg C [02:56:59]:
Your nervous system is evolved to want certain things. There's things in life that hit on those things. That's what causes satisfaction and happiness. It's hitting those circuits.

Anatoliy [02:57:08]:
Okay, yeah, but you could choose what to do and what not to do.

Phillip [02:57:13]:
Well, he's choosing based on what you're saying.

Eldar [02:57:16]:
You're saying that he's not.

Anatoliy [02:57:17]:
Yeah, you're saying he's not.

Oleg C [02:57:18]:
Well, dude, it's like you like basketball, Mike likes soccer. You don't get the same satisfaction, so you go to basketball. You don't choose basketball. Basketball is already chosen in your brain as you're predisposed to liking it. He's predisposed to having fun or whatever or feeling fulfillment by.

Anatoliy [02:57:36]:
No, I don't think that my brain is predisposed to me liking basketball.

Oleg C [02:57:44]:
How else do you explain why do you like basketball?

Anatoliy [02:57:45]:
Because I like playing.

Oleg C [02:57:46]:
Because your parents played it when you're a kid?

Anatoliy [02:57:48]:
No, because I at one point was watching it on tv, enjoyed the game, and then I started playing it myself and continue.

Oleg C [02:57:56]:
How come other people watched on tv didn't.

Anatoliy [02:57:59]:
Well, because they don't like it. They have the ability to choose.

Phillip [02:58:02]:
Why don't they like it?

Anatoliy [02:58:03]:
Because they don't like it. What do you mean? They like other things.

Eldar [02:58:06]:
They may have seen a painter.

Anatoliy [02:58:09]:
What do you mean? Why?

Eldar [02:58:10]:
She thinks it's genetic.

Oleg C [02:58:12]:
It's genetic. You're predisposed to liking certain things.

Phillip [02:58:18]:
Okay, what about grandparents?

Eldar [02:58:20]:
Probably came from.

Oleg C [02:58:23]:
But basketball just fills in for.

Phillip [02:58:26]:
We have to ask Brian the question. So to tole and eldar, challenging you on it isn't enough. And I'm saying that it's variety. What is? I guess your take on saying that you're not getting enough from your wife and you have to look elsewhere as a result of lack.

Eldar [02:58:42]:
Variety is a necessity.

Phillip [02:58:43]:
As a result of lack.

Phillip [02:58:45]:
Yes.

Brian [02:58:45]:
Okay.

Mike [02:58:46]:
Same thing as the walking. You have to keep busy in order.

Phillip [02:58:49]:
To not see what's actually happening. Okay.

Phillip [02:58:53]:
So I'm saying that if he is getting that from her, he just has a genuine curiosity, and he does value variety. That's my understanding of it. So he's saying it's impossible. So what is your take on that?

Mike [02:59:04]:
Don't you value variety?

Phillip [02:59:05]:
I do value variety.

Eldar [02:59:07]:
But you have a preference.

Phillip [02:59:09]:
I like a bunch of different places.

Eldar [02:59:11]:
But you have a preference.

Mike [02:59:12]:
Places that give you a certain experience.

Phillip [02:59:14]:
Right, right. And to his example, I'm saying that if I just love Taco affair, and I just said I'm only going to go to taco affair, I am going to miss out on the other places.

Brian [02:59:25]:
That's exactly the same concept here.

Phillip [02:59:27]:
Yeah.

Brian [02:59:27]:
I don't know where you guys are coming from.

Eldar [02:59:29]:
We don't know what we're talking about, Ryan.

Brian [02:59:30]:
No, no, I'm just saying, dude, it's.

Oleg C [02:59:32]:
Not your hiking in Ramapo every time, but you ignore every other hiking place.

Phillip [02:59:36]:
Right.

Brian [02:59:37]:
There's something you do enjoy that you'd like doing.

Phillip [02:59:39]:
What?

Brian [02:59:39]:
It's not that I enjoy and I like doing.

Eldar [02:59:42]:
We're not making a not.

Phillip [02:59:44]:
No.

Oleg C [02:59:45]:
You're making a.

Eldar [02:59:46]:
No, no. You're saying Ryan made the claim about it being enough variety because it's. We're making that claim based on the challenging that claim. We're challenging the claim of that it being enough. We're not making a claim about us. It's enough for us to go to Ramaphol and just hike on Ramaphos.

Phillip [03:00:00]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [03:00:00]:
And taco fair is not enough for Philip.

Phillip [03:00:02]:
So this is what I'm saying.

Eldar [03:00:03]:
It's not enough for Philip just to go to taco fair, because then he'll.

Brian [03:00:07]:
Feel like he's missing out on the other places that he could go to. And that's exactly. No, but taco fair is not good enough for him. It could be good enough for him because he wants to try other.

Anatoliy [03:00:18]:
No, because it's not good enough.

Brian [03:00:19]:
I don't think so. I think your mindset is wrong there.

Eldar [03:00:22]:
It's not good enough.

Anatoliy [03:00:23]:
I think if it was good enough.

Eldar [03:00:25]:
And what's not good enough? If you told me, Brian, there's a spot right here, right down the street, and every time you go there, it's going to be banging. I'm not going anywhere else. But the truth of the matter is I haven't found a place like that.

Brian [03:00:38]:
But you're satisfied with that?

Eldar [03:00:40]:
No, I'm not. I'd rather.

Oleg C [03:00:42]:
What about genuine human.

Brian [03:00:43]:
Never curiosity to explore.

Eldar [03:00:45]:
Long for what? This shit is banging all the time. Why would I have to go 30.

Anatoliy [03:00:51]:
Miles that only exists because it's not enough? And there could be a taco place that is banging, but it's, for example, like the same type of food every time, which we may not want.

Eldar [03:01:02]:
That's right.

Oleg C [03:01:05]:
Is it ever enough?

Eldar [03:01:07]:
Well, that's a different question.

Oleg C [03:01:08]:
Like you said, our bodies are programmed to.

Eldar [03:01:15]:
The reason for variety in the first place is because it's not enough. Brian is making a claim that it is enough. We have a problem with that.

Oleg C [03:01:21]:
Yeah, I think he's just.

Eldar [03:01:25]:
Here we go.

Brian [03:01:25]:
Speak to.

Oleg C [03:01:26]:
But I think Brian is saying this isn't going to be a falker. No, I think he's saying it's enough. As in, like, okay, so now you're.

Eldar [03:01:38]:
Going to redefine what he's saying.

Oleg C [03:01:39]:
Well, I'm going to try.

Phillip [03:01:41]:
Right?

Eldar [03:01:41]:
You're going to try to help him out.

Brian [03:01:42]:
Yes.

Oleg C [03:01:43]:
Or just try to say what I see. So most of the time, I think it just kind of. You jump to it, like, oh, why are you cheating your wife? She's not enough. Right. I think his point is, like, it's not the typical thing. Oh, I'm my wife. Because emotionally or sexually, she's not enough. He feels it's enough for him.

Oleg C [03:02:05]:
Meaning most people, consciously, my wife never gives me blowjobs, so I go to this hooker to get that blow. It's very like one for one. He's saying he does not find anything.

Phillip [03:02:16]:
Right.

Oleg C [03:02:17]:
In so many words, that is lacking about his wife. So he doesn't see going to these others as him trying to make up for something lacking.

Mike [03:02:25]:
Yeah, I think what you're saying, I think it might be much simpler. And I don't know, he can answer, but I think it's the fucking Fomo thing. Because all these years he missed out on this, he's still trying to catch up. All the stuff that he missed out.

Brian [03:02:38]:
On that time is surpassed already.

Phillip [03:02:41]:
Right?

Brian [03:02:42]:
Because I've been in the game for this long already. A year and a half, but he's been getting pussy.

Mike [03:02:46]:
When he was younger, he said when.

Oleg C [03:02:49]:
He was overweight, obese at 1415, I.

Brian [03:02:52]:
Lost out on a lot weight.

Mike [03:02:53]:
And now we want to introduce his new identity to who we are. It was a lack. It was a year and a half.

Eldar [03:02:58]:
It clicked then it was a click.

Mike [03:03:00]:
That was the thing that sparked it. And now he's just doing it out of maybe habit or now he's extracting it and he found a way to. Obviously he wasn't happy and he did something new that started making him happy. Yeah, but that's not sustainable. Happiness.

Brian [03:03:13]:
Yeah, because to you, maybe not.

Phillip [03:03:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [03:03:16]:
No, I'm talking about me personally, to.

Brian [03:03:18]:
You it's not sustainable.

Mike [03:03:19]:
But based on what we're.

Eldar [03:03:21]:
Well, no, the jury is still out on that. Brian, you haven't closed a chapter on the girlfriends, right? You said, hey, the girlfriends might one day wake up and be like, yo, I want to move in. What are you going to say?

Brian [03:03:32]:
Well, my answer to them is that they understand they can't cross that.

Eldar [03:03:36]:
And you go on to the next one. Correct to the next one. Correct to the next one. Until somebody really fucks with the ideology and can stay forever or whatever.

Brian [03:03:43]:
That if they sit in the seat that they're currently in, it's forever.

Eldar [03:03:47]:
That's what I'm saying.

Brian [03:03:48]:
It's absolutely forever.

Eldar [03:03:49]:
You know what I mean?

Brian [03:03:49]:
And that's only because.

Eldar [03:03:50]:
But that's why the jury is still out.

Brian [03:03:51]:
But you guys are taking this to this level, right? It's not there. It's not even close to this level we're at here right now.

Eldar [03:03:59]:
Oh, I definitely agree with that.

Phillip [03:04:00]:
Right.

Brian [03:04:00]:
This is where we are. You guys are taking it up here. It has nothing to do with what you're talking about. Whether if it's enough or there's some sort of lack there. That is not what's happening here at all.

Phillip [03:04:11]:
Right?

Brian [03:04:12]:
Where my mind.

Eldar [03:04:13]:
Why are you shying away from that?

Brian [03:04:16]:
I'm not shying away from that. I'm just saying exactly what the truth is here. The mindset behind why I do what I do is to only obtain new experiences from other individuals.

Phillip [03:04:28]:
That's variety.

Brian [03:04:29]:
Hold on. And not to say that my wife can't provide me new experiences right? Absolutely. But she could only provide me new experiences at a certain level.

Phillip [03:04:41]:
Right? There you go.

Eldar [03:04:42]:
There you go. There's a limit.

Brian [03:04:43]:
Yeah.

Phillip [03:04:46]:
From that point, I'm saying my wife.

Brian [03:04:48]:
Is providing not enough.

Phillip [03:04:50]:
Yes, it's not enough, but I agree with it.

Brian [03:04:52]:
Ever enough point.

Eldar [03:04:53]:
He just said it, bro.

Brian [03:04:54]:
I agree with you. But is it ever enough?

Anatoliy [03:04:57]:
Now he's saying, is it ever enough?

Brian [03:04:58]:
Oh, there you go then.

Mike [03:04:59]:
That is a lack of gratitude for having what you have.

Brian [03:05:02]:
And oh, I'm happy that I had.

Phillip [03:05:04]:
I never disagree with either of you on your points. All I said was that in order to then go out and do other things, you would have to value variety, because if you didn't, you would basically.

Eldar [03:05:14]:
Sit there and you're not valuing variety phillips what you value actually is value. You know what, to some degree, it's self respect, bro. It's self respect, but it's hidden self respect. He wants more, but he has to bundle it in a nice way. He has to say, babe, you're enough. But variety is important. But he just has to use a different concept of the word in order to, I don't want to use it on air, but trick the other individual in order to buy into the concept to do what he actually wants to do and go fuck around.

Phillip [03:05:50]:
But I'm getting that, though. But we're saying that technically that she is not providing enough because there isn't. And I'm agreeing that there is a lack there. But there has to be a genuine curiosity for others. And I'm defining that as variety. You have to be.

Eldar [03:06:07]:
No, bro.

Brian [03:06:07]:
If you want to go out, there's.

Eldar [03:06:10]:
No genuine curiosity for others, bro. There's a genuine curiosity for yourself.

Brian [03:06:13]:
For yourself.

Phillip [03:06:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [03:06:14]:
It's a very selfish endeavor.

Phillip [03:06:16]:
Yes.

Eldar [03:06:17]:
It's what you want out of the.

Phillip [03:06:18]:
Shit, but you don't.

Eldar [03:06:19]:
And you're going to go get it.

Phillip [03:06:20]:
You don't think that that is then trying to find it in others. So I agree that we're both.

Eldar [03:06:25]:
But you can't put it in others. You have to be honest with yourself and say that, look, this is what I like. This is what he's about. If his wife fucks with that shit, if the girls fuck with that shit, rightfully so, he could do it. He could do it as much as he wanted. He's an Adult. Those girls an adult. He lays it out.

Eldar [03:06:39]:
Flats, yo, I want to fuck you. That's all it is. And you're going to be my girl. I'm never going to love you. I'm not going to tell you I love you and that's it. It's a very adult thing.

Phillip [03:06:46]:
I think we're agreeing with where the lack is coming from.

Anatoliy [03:06:49]:
I think you're not understanding the concept of that and saying variety is what it is. I understand what you're saying, but I think that you're not understanding that it's something that's missing versus a sole preference for variety. Because then it would be like, if you prefer variety, then you don't care what it is. For example.

Eldar [03:07:15]:
Right.

Phillip [03:07:15]:
Then you have a preference.

Eldar [03:07:16]:
Then you have seven or one.

Anatoliy [03:07:18]:
Yeah, you have no preference. You're saying that you have a preference for numbers.

Phillip [03:07:23]:
No, you're saying that he has a.

Anatoliy [03:07:25]:
Preference for just numbers. That's what variety is.

Phillip [03:07:28]:
I'm agreeing.

Brian [03:07:29]:
Actually, give a stand.

Phillip [03:07:30]:
You can't say that because I'm agreeing.

Eldar [03:07:32]:
That very specific laser vision to what he wants.

Brian [03:07:37]:
There's a lack.

Phillip [03:07:38]:
But he's also saying that he's at a relationship or a level at the relationship where he's not at the level where we're talking about. He understands that we already agreed or we already talked about that if he went back, he wouldn't have got married. He wants to be in an open relationship. I think that if you're in an open relationship, I think there is a genuine curiosity for other people in that variety. Now, if you're saying. If you're saying that there is a lack, I agree that there is a lack. Maybe there's a lack of vulnerability. There's a lack of something that you are looking for.

Eldar [03:08:09]:
Variety is being used as a cop out to.

Brian [03:08:12]:
But variety is cover up the lack.

Phillip [03:08:14]:
I'm saying a variety is a byproduct of the lack.

Brian [03:08:17]:
Sure, that's what we're saying, but I've been agreeing with you guys from the beginning.

Anatoliy [03:08:22]:
No, but you're saying it incorrectly. But you're saying it incorrectly.

Brian [03:08:25]:
But there is no problem.

Phillip [03:08:26]:
He's saying that.

Brian [03:08:27]:
I'm saying it incorrectly.

Eldar [03:08:28]:
The reason why variety came about in the first place is because there was a lack.

Brian [03:08:32]:
I agree with this. I agree with it.

Anatoliy [03:08:34]:
Yeah, but you're saying it wrong and saying that there's a preference for variety.

Eldar [03:08:37]:
You said the reason. No choice. The way he's moving is because he. No variety.

Brian [03:08:41]:
He doesn't fucking.

Eldar [03:08:44]:
Specific.

Phillip [03:08:46]:
I specifically said that he values variety over growth.

Brian [03:08:49]:
No.

Oleg C [03:08:50]:
Yeah, he did say that.

Phillip [03:08:51]:
That's specifically.

Anatoliy [03:08:51]:
No, I know he said that's not correct.

Oleg C [03:08:54]:
Fit with their.

Eldar [03:08:55]:
No.

Anatoliy [03:08:58]:
There'S no way that you could. Then you're just saying that he values random shit.

Brian [03:09:03]:
Yeah. In an open relationship, I think you have to value.

Anatoliy [03:09:08]:
There's no way he values people. No, there's no way he values random shit. He values very particular things. It's not random at all.

Eldar [03:09:15]:
He has attraction, bro.

Phillip [03:09:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [03:09:17]:
He's a man.

Oleg C [03:09:18]:
Intellect, non Wendy's.

Eldar [03:09:20]:
There you go.

Phillip [03:09:21]:
I think going very specific, bro. I think going to different places. There's an excitement to it. A different face.

Anatoliy [03:09:27]:
That might be a different mike. You cannot prefer just variety, because then you're just saying that. You just prefer numbers. Then you would say, give Brian five random girls. It doesn't matter who they are, where.

Eldar [03:09:39]:
They are, what they look like, what they're about, and he'll be happy.

Phillip [03:09:41]:
He can have a very particular taste.

Brian [03:09:43]:
But there is a variety.

Phillip [03:09:44]:
If he has to go outside, there.

Anatoliy [03:09:45]:
Is a variety, but it's not the main thing. The way that you're saying it, at least, is driving it as the main thing, which I disagree that it's not the main thing.

Brian [03:09:54]:
They're saying you don't agree with us. That's what they're really saying here. But that is the excitement.

Phillip [03:10:03]:
My understanding is the variety is the excitement for you.

Brian [03:10:07]:
There's a specific type of varieties. What he's trying to say.

Phillip [03:10:11]:
Right.

Brian [03:10:11]:
Not just random bitches.

Phillip [03:10:13]:
I don't think it's ones and tans.

Brian [03:10:14]:
But that's what they're trying to understand.

Oleg C [03:10:17]:
But I think what they're kind of saying is, even if it was just one other girl, but she completed the other percentage that he was missing from the thing, it would just be two. He would need a variety.

Brian [03:10:26]:
Variety, yes.

Oleg C [03:10:28]:
You keep emphasizing variety, but I'm not.

Phillip [03:10:31]:
Disagreeing on the lack. But he's also saying in the same breath, that he's not at that level of relationship to make that kind of decision. He's saying he's here.

Eldar [03:10:38]:
What you're saying is that he doesn't have the ability to zoom in on one particular thing, is to say, this is what I like, and this is what I want for rest of my life. This is what you're saying with saying that he is stuck on variety, therefore.

Phillip [03:10:50]:
It'S a forever fucking thing in this open relationship.

Brian [03:10:54]:
Yes.

Phillip [03:10:54]:
He's saying that he's not at that level where we're talking about, where he needs to be with one person. That, to me, is somebody's mentality with being in an open relationship. If you want more with different people, you have to value variety. Why would you want to be with.

Brian [03:11:10]:
Multiple people if you don't value variety?

Eldar [03:11:16]:
Because he's able to. In all those people, he's able to open up just a little bit more in order to enjoy himself in a very specific way that he agree.

Phillip [03:11:24]:
But I'm agreeing with you.

Oleg C [03:11:28]:
The problem with your argument is you're emphasizing variety. And they're talking about, it's not.

Phillip [03:11:32]:
It's.

Oleg C [03:11:33]:
He's missing.

Phillip [03:11:34]:
He's not leading with lack. He's not leading with lack.

Eldar [03:11:38]:
Hiding behind variety.

Phillip [03:11:39]:
Bro.

Oleg C [03:11:40]:
If he got it all, that's what it is.

Anatoliy [03:11:43]:
You're taking the words for face value.

Brian [03:11:45]:
We're not.

Eldar [03:11:46]:
I think that's a difference.

Oleg C [03:11:47]:
Okay, but in your interpreting his words.

Anatoliy [03:11:49]:
They'Re saying, I don't believe that he has enough. Okay, I don't believe it.

Brian [03:11:53]:
But he's obviously also. He's saying that.

Phillip [03:11:56]:
He's saying that he doesn't have enough.

Eldar [03:11:58]:
No, he does say he has enough.

Anatoliy [03:12:00]:
He's saying he does have enough.

Brian [03:12:02]:
From my wife, from the wife, receive everything.

Eldar [03:12:04]:
Everything.

Brian [03:12:05]:
Is it enough for my sake, it's considered enough. My thing and why I do what.

Eldar [03:12:11]:
Brian is bigger than that. Enough.

Brian [03:12:13]:
Brian's bigger than that.

Anatoliy [03:12:14]:
So he does not have enough in.

Brian [03:12:17]:
Your world, I don't have enough.

Phillip [03:12:18]:
Right.

Brian [03:12:19]:
In your world, because logically enough doesn't exist. In my world, enough is nonexistent at all. There's no period there for me. It keeps on going because you have that nontraditional or the traditional way of thinking of what marriage is.

Anatoliy [03:12:34]:
But also, you're also saying that. Okay, fine. Are you open to the idea that one day you may have enough? Are you open that that's possible?

Brian [03:12:46]:
I'm open to the idea that maybe one day I'll be too tired to deal with the shit.

Anatoliy [03:12:50]:
No, that's as far as it goes.

Brian [03:12:52]:
That's your answer? That's your answer?

Eldar [03:12:53]:
No, but I'm asking you enough.

Anatoliy [03:12:55]:
No, but are you open to the idea that one day you will have.

Brian [03:12:59]:
Enough, or no, just as my response, one day I will be too old to want to deal with this. I'm trying to tell you enough does not exist in my vocabulary.

Anatoliy [03:13:11]:
No.

Brian [03:13:12]:
Let me ask one quick question, okay? Since we have a married couple here, right, check this. On your daily, everyday lives, what the fuck are you learning from one another? Let me ask another question in terms of that, right? You work all day. You work all day. You have two dogs, you're thinking about having a child, right? What are you actually learning from one another in your marriage?

Eldar [03:13:39]:
One by one or together one by one? Patience.

Phillip [03:13:44]:
Okay.

Brian [03:13:45]:
Anything else that you're learning from this marriage?

Phillip [03:13:47]:
A lot. Yeah. Okay.

Katherine [03:13:48]:
Other than patience, acceptance, a lot.

Brian [03:13:52]:
So I've been married for compassion. Ten years, twelve years together. Right? Yeah. Granted, that's learning, processing within a regular marriage. And I get that. Right? Patience is taught because now you have.

Phillip [03:14:05]:
To be patient with her.

Brian [03:14:06]:
You're not learning patience because you're single and you're dealing with fucking different shit and you have to be patient about it. Be like, oh, man, I'm going to stand in line now. Fuck, I hate this shit. No, you're learning patience because your wife is giving you a standard line of what patience looks like. She's telling you, this is what you need to motherfucking do because this is what you have to do, right, as a woman. And it goes for both, right? You were teaching her how to be a wife to you, and you are teaching her how to be a husband to you. A wife to you.

Eldar [03:14:37]:
Sorry.

Brian [03:14:38]:
That's what you guys are learning from one another. I get that from my wife. I learned that from my wife. I've surpassed that from my wife.

Phillip [03:14:46]:
Right.

Brian [03:14:46]:
Learning processes forever. You're constantly learning, but on your everyday lives. What are you doing? You're going to work. You're going to work at the end of the night. What are you guys talking about? How is your day? How is your day? Are you going to fuck tonight?

Phillip [03:14:59]:
No.

Brian [03:14:59]:
Who's taking out the dog? Who's taking out the garbage? Let's go eat somewhere. That's all you guys are talking about constantly as a married couple. And I know that because I have that experience. I've been in that I'm currently in that. What are you learning? Zero, zip, zilch.

Phillip [03:15:12]:
Right?

Brian [03:15:13]:
Just understand where I'm coming from, right. Because I come from your world. I know what you guys go through. You're trying to have a child.

Eldar [03:15:20]:
Beautiful.

Brian [03:15:21]:
It's great. Thank you. What you're learning, is that what it takes to have a child or what it's going to be to be in that process of making kids?

Phillip [03:15:29]:
Right.

Brian [03:15:30]:
Sometimes it's not going to work out. These are the learning curves that you're learning now, right. Me and my wife have surpassed out, right. We don't want kids. We're working on ourselves when it comes to our careers and ourselves in general. You sit here, right, and you're stating that I am lacking something in my relationship from my wife and it may be the other way around from what I hear, that is incorrect. We are not lacking shit.

Phillip [03:15:59]:
Right.

Brian [03:15:59]:
We've been together for so long that we've learned this much from each other that there's just not more information that is being provided on our daily basis. You guys will reach your moment where you'll be like, fuck, bro. This is what we do on a daily basis is come home. How's the kids? How's the dogs? What needs to be done? And this is it. You've gone through this cycle that you've watched from your parents do, and now you're stuck doing the same fucking shit. I don't want to live in that world. Right? The real reasoning is why I seek other women. Or generally speaking, I mean, I'm not going to go fuck a guy.

Brian [03:16:38]:
I'm not going to go meet a guy. I'm not good with making friends with dudes. It's not just what I do. I find my connection with females are a little bit different than it is for men. Is there a bonus to having sex with women? Absolutely right? Just as if you had the opportunity maybe in your younger age, not saying you're older and you're promiscuous and you're like, man, I want to try out 50 different dicks before I fall in love with that one dick.

Phillip [03:17:02]:
Right?

Brian [03:17:03]:
You could go out and have fun and do that. In my situation, I'm able to obtain that experience of being with other women sexually. Not only sexually, emotionally and mentally, on a different level with them. You guys are talking about something totally different. You are on the next level. You're out on a plane where psychology has no play at all, where like, Brian is missing this and this is why he's doing this. And Phil saying, oh, why? I have to have variety over experience or whatever the case. I have to have many women in order for me to obtain the end of the puzzle pieces, right? That's not what's happening here.

Brian [03:17:41]:
I enjoy my life being with other women and learning through these other women the different types of ways that they're living.

Phillip [03:17:49]:
Right?

Brian [03:17:50]:
The way you live is different from the way Mike lives. His start in the world is different from your start. And you guys might end up at a one level and it'll just totally go the opposite way eventually, right? Who's to say you guys might not be friends in five years from now, but it was a great time spent together, correct? I currently, at that time right now with these females are at that point where we are spending time together, learning from one another, and maybe one day.

Phillip [03:18:16]:
We will eventually split, right?

Brian [03:18:19]:
And that's perfectly fine because what we're doing is experiencing each other. That's the beauty of individuals, is that we're able to talk, get to know each other, and learn something from one another. So you are learning patience from your wife. You're learning whatever else is and whatever she's learning from you. But that's as far as it goes. You have friends. You're learning from their experiences, right?

Phillip [03:18:41]:
Correct.

Brian [03:18:42]:
I personally choose my friends to be my girlfriend.

Phillip [03:18:46]:
That's it.

Brian [03:18:46]:
That's as far as it goes. The plane is where it needs to be. We're at mid level plane here. We're not at the higher thinking, as I believe, where your crew is currently trying to.

Phillip [03:18:59]:
Right.

Brian [03:19:00]:
The way Mike expressed to me yesterday, where he was thinking is at a next level.

Phillip [03:19:05]:
Right.

Brian [03:19:05]:
That type of level. I'm sorry. It's not a compliment, and I'm not trying to say it's wrong, because it's nothing wrong about it.

Phillip [03:19:15]:
Right.

Brian [03:19:16]:
You guys could think however you want to think, right? And until you find out, and by talking to me, you're able to get this topic out and find out how I think about things, right. Rather than being not judgy per se, but trying to understand whether or not I'm missing something somewhere. You have to understand the reasoning why. I do.

Eldar [03:19:36]:
Well, then you either confuse us then, Brian, or use the wrong words in order to describe your experience, because these are some of the conclusions we came about. You know what I'm saying? Based on some of the things that you said, like, I have enough. But then if you have enough, you're still seeking.

Phillip [03:19:49]:
Right?

Eldar [03:19:49]:
You know what I mean? Logically, it doesn't sound right for at least this group that are logically inclined a little bit that those two doesn't work. But then Oleg's trying to rescue a little bit and trying to expand a little bit of the use of the word.

Brian [03:20:00]:
But that's why I said variety.

Phillip [03:20:01]:
Because logically, no, but that's why I said this, though. But if you're saying in the same breath that you have enough and then you have to do something else, the only way that I would say that is that.

Eldar [03:20:14]:
But it's not a cop out.

Phillip [03:20:16]:
You have such a curiosity that you have to go outside of it. That's the only way that I can think about it logically.

Eldar [03:20:21]:
Behind that is, again, you agreed with. It's the lack of. He's not agreeing with that.

Phillip [03:20:26]:
Okay, but then there is a conflict there.

Eldar [03:20:28]:
Then we do have a conflict.

Phillip [03:20:29]:
Yeah.

Eldar [03:20:30]:
Which is completely fine.

Phillip [03:20:30]:
He's saying, that's where my brain goes.

Eldar [03:20:32]:
The only way level where it might not be applicable to his lifestyle.

Phillip [03:20:37]:
I get it.

Brian [03:20:38]:
So the word enough right. Enough, period.

Phillip [03:20:40]:
Correct.

Brian [03:20:41]:
When I said I have enough from my wife for you guys, that means that's it, right? You have enough from your wife. You don't have to go.

Eldar [03:20:49]:
No, I don't have enough. No, I don't.

Brian [03:20:53]:
Okay.

Eldar [03:20:53]:
No, I don't. So maybe we can have a conversation outside.

Brian [03:20:55]:
How long have you guys been married?

Eldar [03:20:57]:
14 years.

Phillip [03:20:58]:
Okay.

Brian [03:20:58]:
With 14 years.

Eldar [03:20:59]:
But I'm going to tell you one thing, Brian.

Phillip [03:21:01]:
Sure.

Eldar [03:21:01]:
I get a brand new wife every time we discuss something and we get to a conclusion.

Brian [03:21:05]:
Okay, so in my world, you are.

Mike [03:21:07]:
Cheating a little bit.

Phillip [03:21:08]:
Yeah. Every day.

Brian [03:21:09]:
You say you got a brand new.

Eldar [03:21:10]:
Wife cheating every day. Almost.

Brian [03:21:13]:
So whatever the conversations you might have separately, against or away from whatever, and that's providing you the idea of her being a brand new wife for you is beautiful.

Phillip [03:21:24]:
Right?

Brian [03:21:25]:
Not to say that my wife doesn't provide me the same thing, but the thing is, your conversations and in everyone's lives is exactly the same.

Eldar [03:21:34]:
Is that a fact or is that.

Brian [03:21:35]:
An impression of asking? That's by taking data that I took in. By speaking to multiple. I'm talking about maybe hundred of men that are married. In my 15 years working at Goldman. I had the opportunity to talk, to.

Eldar [03:21:50]:
Survey a lot of people.

Brian [03:21:51]:
A lot of people.

Phillip [03:21:52]:
Right.

Brian [03:21:52]:
So I surveyed a lot of people over those 15 years. Not that it was like a thing that I thought, this is what I'm going to do. I can't wait to take this data.

Eldar [03:22:00]:
No, but something that happened.

Brian [03:22:01]:
Something just happened that having these conversations with all these married men, it always seemed to be at the same ending.

Anatoliy [03:22:08]:
No, I know, but I feel like in a conversation like this, I feel like when we're talking to you about this, I think that we're challenging a concept and then seeing what you think or what your reaction is with the goal of being able to communicate you to us or us to you in a logical way. If I just sit here, for example, and say, like, yo, guys, two plus two is five, and you could. I don't give a fuck, I could just say that.

Brian [03:22:36]:
Absolutely. And you can.

Anatoliy [03:22:37]:
But if I had for Eldars, if Eldar challenged me to something, and we want to have a conversation together where we could communicate, we're going to both have to agree if we want a productive conversation, to talk logically. So I can't just sit here and be like, yo, it's five. I don't care. It's five.

Eldar [03:22:59]:
You don't understand what you don't understand.

Anatoliy [03:23:02]:
Like. Or like, for example, Mike had somebody that works for him. And he would say something, and we would challenge him on the subject, and he said the same line, and he did it to me over and over again. You just don't understand.

Phillip [03:23:16]:
Right?

Anatoliy [03:23:17]:
So then I'm like, okay, explain to me.

Eldar [03:23:19]:
Help me understand, right?

Phillip [03:23:20]:
And he couldn't.

Anatoliy [03:23:21]:
And he couldn't.

Phillip [03:23:22]:
Right.

Anatoliy [03:23:22]:
He was not willing to take the time to explain to me what he's saying. And I think it's not because I don't understand.

Brian [03:23:30]:
He just doesn't know how to express.

Anatoliy [03:23:32]:
No, I don't think that he knew what he was saying. So, because he didn't know what he was saying, he had to be over me by saying, and I wasn't out to own him or get.

Brian [03:23:46]:
I just want an answer to your question.

Anatoliy [03:23:48]:
No, just, he would make statements, right, that I was like, wait, this doesn't sound right to me. And I would challenge them, and his response is always, you just don't understand. So now I'd always say, hey, Scotty, can you explain it to me? And he never could.

Phillip [03:24:03]:
Right.

Brian [03:24:03]:
And again, as a defensive.

Phillip [03:24:05]:
Right.

Anatoliy [03:24:05]:
So. So that's what I'm saying. I feel like in a situation like this, I don't think it's fair to assume something, but I do think that it's completely fair and open field to challenge something. And then I think in order for us to get, if we both have a desire to get to a constructive place of growth or progress, we have to both agree to speak logically, otherwise I'll never grow, or elder will never grow. Correct. If both of us don't agree to do so.

Brian [03:24:38]:
Understood.

Phillip [03:24:38]:
Right.

Eldar [03:24:39]:
We have to have some kind of a ruler.

Anatoliy [03:24:41]:
Yeah. And then we just have to kind of both agree to that map. Otherwise we're going to be like, no, that's an inch and, no, that's an inch and a half. And then it's just like, unless we measure it and have a measurement system in place, then we don't know.

Phillip [03:24:55]:
Right.

Brian [03:24:56]:
That's why this is your first conversation on this topic, and this is your.

Eldar [03:24:59]:
We're having a hard time, Brian.

Brian [03:25:00]:
I understand. I totally understand.

Eldar [03:25:02]:
And yes, we are a little bit biased, and we obviously come from a school of thought, a very specific, biased school of thought.

Brian [03:25:06]:
So do I.

Eldar [03:25:07]:
And the only person that's going to bridge the gap is probably Oleg. So I'm going to leave the floor to oleg because he's been waiting. Philip has said a lot.

Brian [03:25:14]:
Yeah, because I feel like he has.

Eldar [03:25:19]:
Three beers and he's going to smash the next.

Oleg C [03:25:21]:
I'm afraid after the next beer, he's going to talk about variety.

Brian [03:25:25]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [03:25:26]:
I feel like we have to speak in words that are like we universally agree upon, right, in order to get to a place. Because, for example, if I use the word, if I tell you, hey, Brian, I'm done working for the day, right? And then you catch me working, right? You got to be like, yo, what.

Brian [03:25:48]:
The hell did you say?

Anatoliy [03:25:49]:
You're done for the day, right? I use that word because I use that word. It meant something to you, right. Like you had an understanding from it. So in my mind, when you use the word I have enough, for example, to me it means that you do.

Phillip [03:26:05]:
Not want more, right.

Anatoliy [03:26:06]:
But then you're saying that you have enough. But then there's a but. And I think that, at least me for sure, I'm having a hard time understanding what that would be.

Eldar [03:26:19]:
I understood Brian, where Brian's coming from, though. He explained, and correct me if I'm wrong, he explained the relationship dynamic where they reached a limit to what the relationship could be. Yes, but I have not reached that in my relationship.

Phillip [03:26:34]:
Right.

Eldar [03:26:34]:
That's why he said he had enough, because he reached the thing. I don't have enough in my relationship. I haven't reached that yet. I think if I've reached that, I'm done. Introduce me to your friends. You know what I'm saying?

Brian [03:26:46]:
Wait, can I ask a couple of questions?

Oleg C [03:26:48]:
You guys might ask this. In the beginning of the podcast, you said for a year and a half you were in an open relationship.

Brian [03:26:53]:
That's correct.

Oleg C [03:26:54]:
And how long are you married to this girl?

Brian [03:26:57]:
Ten years. Twelve years together.

Phillip [03:26:59]:
Oh, shit.

Oleg C [03:27:00]:
Okay, so you guys were not open, not talking about any of this?

Brian [03:27:04]:
No, not when we first got married out of nowhere. So, no, what happened was we both had weight loss surgery. We both had weight loss surgery done. And that triggered us to wanting to experience other things as well.

Phillip [03:27:19]:
Right.

Brian [03:27:20]:
As growth as individuals.

Phillip [03:27:22]:
Right.

Brian [03:27:22]:
Because we're looking forward to making differences and changes in our lives. Not to say that we want to change ourselves in the sense of like, I don't want to change my wife and I don't want her to change me, but we are looking to grow as two individuals trying to learn more about what the world has to offer.

Oleg C [03:27:38]:
Is it because you guys felt like you would be able to attract more people?

Brian [03:27:44]:
In the beginning, for me, it was more of the attract part, and then it turned into the experiencing portion of what it's all about. And I keep bringing this up in the conversation where I'm obtaining different experiences from different individuals? Yes. Is it in the same realm? Absolutely.

Phillip [03:28:06]:
Right.

Brian [03:28:08]:
What they're thinking is that, is that I'm just fucking around and pussy is pussy. But that's not what the case is.

Anatoliy [03:28:14]:
No, actually, no, I don't.

Brian [03:28:16]:
Well, no, some statements were made where it sounded like that's where that was going.

Eldar [03:28:21]:
No, I don't believe that. You're trying to fill a certain type of gap, and that's not a sexual gap.

Phillip [03:28:26]:
Okay.

Anatoliy [03:28:26]:
Yeah, I agree with that as well.

Phillip [03:28:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [03:28:28]:
I think it's connected maybe to sexually and expression might be sexually as well, but I think ultimately you're trying to fulfill yourself.

Phillip [03:28:34]:
Right.

Brian [03:28:34]:
So fulfill myself.

Phillip [03:28:36]:
Right.

Brian [03:28:36]:
And we're going to touch that real quick. I'm not fulfilled, don, sexually, but I'm fulfilled and not per se missing something out of my marriage where I feel like I need to go and fuck around or meet these other girls to feel fulfilled.

Phillip [03:28:56]:
Right.

Brian [03:28:57]:
I don't need that. Personally. I'm good. I could be single right now and still be very happy about me, because I've surpassed that time of self learning of who I am and where I need to be and what happiness means to me. Happiness to me right now, at this very moment, is to be with my wife and to be with others.

Oleg C [03:29:20]:
Did you have multiple relationships simultaneously before.

Phillip [03:29:23]:
You met your.

Brian [03:29:27]:
Wife? And my wife was part of that, actually, I was telling Mike the other day. So it was between two girls. So I was in a very serious relationship at one point. Many points, actually. I broke up and I just wanted to be know promiscuous as much as possible.

Phillip [03:29:41]:
Right.

Brian [03:29:41]:
So I met an italian girl in a city, hung out, have a good time, and then I met my wife at the same time. And I did tell them about each other. And then at 1.1 of them said, and it was probably the italian girl because that's how it goes, she said that she was no longer interested in being in this type of relationship. I said, that's perfectly fine. You might not like the decision I make, but I could respect it.

Phillip [03:30:05]:
Right.

Brian [03:30:05]:
So at the end, I then chose my wife. And I feel like going from a serious relationship into something that was very open and fun and exciting and then having to go through that process of choosing, it was killing me.

Phillip [03:30:22]:
Right.

Brian [03:30:23]:
And then I initially ended up with my wife and then married. And then this whole progression of who we were changed again when we had our surgeries.

Oleg C [03:30:33]:
So you and your wife in twelve? No, I guess it would be ten years. Never had this kind of. This didn't come up.

Brian [03:30:40]:
So in the last year and a half. It has.

Phillip [03:30:43]:
Right.

Oleg C [03:30:44]:
But before that, you were just living.

Brian [03:30:45]:
Normally, husband and wife. You never mentioned, never had this sort of conversation.

Oleg C [03:30:51]:
And how was it so coincidental that you mentioned it? And she was like, oh, yeah, I'm for that too.

Brian [03:30:55]:
It just happened. I think it has everything to do with how we saw ourselves as fat people and us changing into the people who we are today. That changed how we thought as well.

Phillip [03:31:08]:
Right?

Brian [03:31:09]:
And you assume when you see a fat person, you think lazy.

Phillip [03:31:13]:
Right?

Brian [03:31:14]:
And it is fairly true. It's fairly true that as fat individuals, they do stop themselves from doing certain things.

Phillip [03:31:23]:
It is the truth.

Brian [03:31:24]:
I could speak for it. But as we progressed, as we got our surgeries done, and as our bodies has changed and we were seeing that we were attracting different type of people, it kind of had that, a little excitement in there, right? Not that it was missing in our marriage, but it was nice. It was kind of cool. Like, man, this girl never looked at me. Now she does. Or like, this guy never looked at me like that way. Now he does, right? It brought that little excitement that we not were missing, but it was nice to have that extra spark, to have it there.

Oleg C [03:31:56]:
And who brought it up, you or your wife?

Brian [03:31:57]:
I initially brought it up to her. She said, it sounds like a really good idea. I don't even know where to start from this bullshit. Right, because it's an idea, right? It's just like, you have to mentally get ready for this. It just doesn't be like, click, boom, done.

Phillip [03:32:14]:
Here.

Brian [03:32:15]:
Go fuck this girl. Go have experiences with her and go fuck this guy and have experiences. It's so crazy what you have to mentally go through before you could reach that moment of actually go on your first date. On my first date, I was the most nervous person in the world. I've never had more anxiety in my life. And then as I had more dates and meeting these girls and learning about them and learning what I'm able to, piece by piece, grab from them and take it to my own heart and to my own life and bring it to my own philosophy and how I see the world was absolutely beautiful.

Phillip [03:32:48]:
It was a work of art.

Brian [03:32:50]:
That's why I do what I currently do now is that I find by being with these individuals that I'm able to create art. Yes, my wife is enough.

Phillip [03:33:01]:
Right?

Brian [03:33:01]:
That word enough means something, right? But there is no period with enough. Oleg says we always want more.

Phillip [03:33:10]:
Right?

Brian [03:33:11]:
Enough is never enough.

Eldar [03:33:13]:
Well, why not call for what it is, then?

Phillip [03:33:15]:
What is it? She's not enough.

Brian [03:33:17]:
She is she's enough for me to.

Phillip [03:33:20]:
Create enough painting and beauty. Right.

Brian [03:33:24]:
But I want to recreate with as many other people as I can because that brings me Happiness.

Eldar [03:33:31]:
There you go. For Brian, she's not enough.

Brian [03:33:34]:
That's not what happiness.

Eldar [03:33:36]:
She's not.

Brian [03:33:37]:
That's. You're getting that wrong. What I'm saying is my wife is enough for me to be happy. If we weren't. If we weren't in an open relationship, if it was a traditional marriage, great. I was very happy. I am.

Phillip [03:33:55]:
Yes.

Anatoliy [03:33:56]:
Well, then it's true, right? For Brian. Brian, she's not enough.

Brian [03:34:00]:
No. In an open marriage, enough doesn't exist. You guys are not understanding because you're not in the situation.

Phillip [03:34:07]:
Okay.

Anatoliy [03:34:07]:
But the marriage was first closed, correct?

Brian [03:34:10]:
Correct.

Phillip [03:34:11]:
Okay.

Brian [03:34:11]:
We were enough.

Phillip [03:34:12]:
Okay.

Anatoliy [03:34:13]:
Did the reason that the marriage opened up because you weren't enough?

Brian [03:34:16]:
No. The reason why that the relationship was open was because we were learning about ourselves. That there's other things out there that we're able to express and learn and bring to ourselves.

Eldar [03:34:28]:
So it's like going to school. You guys both outgrew, as your new identities have outgrew that specific relationship.

Brian [03:34:34]:
Say, going to school, you went to school for one specific topic, or whatever it is, but you wanted to learn something else. So you went to a different school and obtained another knowledge from there. That's exactly the same concept. It's not that it's not enough. It's that you want to continue learning as an individual. Stop using the word enough.

Eldar [03:34:54]:
But when you focus on the subject, I'm glad you brought that up because it's a good example. When you focus on your career and you found out what you actually want to do, you actually focus on the niche.

Brian [03:35:04]:
Wrong. I've had probably ten jobs in my 37 years. Not because I haven't found my niche. It's because I want to master everything that I do. And I want to be best at it. I want to be better at it.

Eldar [03:35:17]:
If I really like butterflies and I want to study butterflies, I cannot be going becoming a mechanic.

Phillip [03:35:22]:
Why not?

Eldar [03:35:23]:
Because I really like butterflies. And all my time is going to be spent studying butterflies.

Brian [03:35:28]:
Granted. What if in five years from now, you're like, you know what? I think I've learned enough about butterflies. I want to learn something new.

Eldar [03:35:37]:
Then therefore, I will say that butterflies no longer for me. I'll group butterflies. Now I'm up to crickets.

Oleg C [03:35:43]:
But the word enough point.

Brian [03:35:45]:
But the word enough shouldn't exist because it's just something that you want extra.

Eldar [03:35:49]:
But why are you shying away from it?

Brian [03:35:51]:
It's not that enough is weird.

Oleg C [03:35:52]:
How can one person be enough for some? What does that even mean? That sounds crazy.

Eldar [03:35:56]:
I agree.

Oleg C [03:35:58]:
I agree with you because you're saying your wife is not enough. But so every day she becomes different enough. But I don't think it's ever enough.

Eldar [03:36:04]:
Nobody's ever.

Oleg C [03:36:04]:
I don't think your brother can be enough.

Eldar [03:36:09]:
We have a lot of different needs, you know what I'm saying? And not necessarily our partner will satisfy those needs, bro. And the truth of the matter is, the reason why I think we don't use the word enough is because we don't want to hurt somebody's feelings.

Oleg C [03:36:22]:
Yeah, I'm not enough for you.

Eldar [03:36:24]:
You know what I'm saying?

Anatoliy [03:36:25]:
Yeah, but the truth of the matter.

Brian [03:36:27]:
Is, that's not a lie.

Eldar [03:36:28]:
It's a fucking front. You know what I mean? I'm not enough for her when I'm a fucking gremlin, bro. I know I'm not enough. So what would be? Sometimes when I'm busy and she needs my ear, I am not enough for her in that moment.

Phillip [03:36:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [03:36:40]:
That's just the way that works. He just chooses it to continue somewhere else. And if they both agreed upon, that's an adult decision and I'm completely fine with that. But call it for what it is. Hey, babe, you don't satisfy me here. Oh, yeah, babe, you don't satisfy me there either. Can we go out? Yeah, no problem. Go get it somewhere else.

Eldar [03:37:01]:
That's how I see it.

Oleg C [03:37:02]:
But yeah, I see kind of your logic.

Phillip [03:37:04]:
He's saying that it fulfills him in that moment and he's done with it. And then he says, I think that she's fulfilling me and I want to go recreate that with somebody else. That's what he's saying.

Brian [03:37:15]:
Absolutely, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Phillip [03:37:19]:
That's why I was saying the curiosity.

Eldar [03:37:21]:
And variety isn't one way of saying certain things in such a way where it calms everything down in order to justify what you need to be doing.

Mike [03:37:28]:
Is it possible for anybody ever to be enough for you if you're never enough for yourself?

Eldar [03:37:33]:
Correct.

Phillip [03:37:34]:
No.

Brian [03:37:34]:
That's a personal question for yourself, though.

Mike [03:37:37]:
I don't think it's a personal question.

Brian [03:37:39]:
No, but it's very specific to each individual, so that has nothing to do. You're more relying. But you're relying on me to answer for me on whether anything is enough. That's really what you're asking.

Mike [03:37:55]:
No.

Oleg C [03:37:56]:
Who's going to tell you, they're enough for themselves, right?

Mike [03:37:58]:
A person who actually thinks about that question and can answer that in an.

Oleg C [03:38:01]:
Honest way, nobody's ever going to say it.

Eldar [03:38:04]:
Why not?

Phillip [03:38:04]:
Why not?

Oleg C [03:38:05]:
Yeah, because like you said, we're programmed to always need more.

Eldar [03:38:08]:
No, sure, but then you have to call for whatever we can unprogram.

Mike [03:38:11]:
Have you never unprogrammed something that you were doing for a long time in your life?

Oleg C [03:38:14]:
And, bro, this is the most basic evolutionary. What is the most basic evolutionary programming? You always need more food because that food can run out.

Phillip [03:38:23]:
You always need more.

Mike [03:38:24]:
Those are basic needs. Not like things that are more up here.

Brian [03:38:27]:
But did I not break the program? The program is get married, be with one person for the rest of your life.

Phillip [03:38:33]:
Correct?

Brian [03:38:34]:
Was that not a program? Yes or no?

Eldar [03:38:37]:
That is a program right now, Brian. But there's also ways to go about it to see that, sure, you're married, but doesn't mean divorce doesn't exist. Doesn't mean you can't walk out. It also exists.

Brian [03:38:47]:
We spoke about this. Divorce is an option. Is not an option for.

Eldar [03:38:50]:
It's a choice.

Brian [03:38:51]:
Correct.

Eldar [03:38:51]:
It's a choice.

Brian [03:38:52]:
It's a choice.

Eldar [03:38:53]:
Even that little framework doesn't really work for humans.

Brian [03:38:56]:
But why do people divorce?

Eldar [03:38:57]:
Because they're not happy.

Brian [03:39:00]:
I'm happy in my relationship. See, that's where your mindset doesn't comprehend that. You assume that.

Eldar [03:39:08]:
I'm not saying that you're not.

Phillip [03:39:09]:
No. No.

Eldar [03:39:10]:
I think your wife provides you for a very specific thing, and she meets a certain criteria. But then there's a little bit more of Brian that I'm going to tell you right now that she doesn't know.

Phillip [03:39:20]:
It's possible.

Eldar [03:39:20]:
That's how I feel.

Brian [03:39:21]:
It's possible.

Eldar [03:39:22]:
Okay.

Brian [03:39:23]:
It's very possible.

Eldar [03:39:24]:
You know what I'm saying? And I think that those individuals that you're going towards, you have some kind of ability to open up to them. A different side of yourself that she doesn't know.

Mike [03:39:33]:
As a fat person, as a current and past more fatter.

Oleg C [03:39:39]:
You're really brave.

Mike [03:39:39]:
I always looked for the other people to always validate me, to tell me I'm enough. And after many years of living that stupid cycle, I realized that nobody can tell me that I'm enough.

Brian [03:39:50]:
Well, that photo you sent me yesterday.

Oleg C [03:39:52]:
From the Catania, definitely those cakes. Told you were enough, bro.

Mike [03:39:55]:
I think once you realize how to actually logically get to the place where you feel like you're enough, then you can understand. You can be enough. But if you don't think about those things about what that actually means. You'll never be enough, and you always seek another person.

Eldar [03:40:09]:
That's right.

Mike [03:40:10]:
But if you're enough and it's rooted in a certain truth, that's why I.

Eldar [03:40:13]:
Said when he asked me, what is it that you have with your wife? I said, she understands me.

Phillip [03:40:17]:
Yeah.

Eldar [03:40:17]:
If I have the ability to be my true self at the highest level and she understands me and accepts me, bro, that's love, and I feel it from her, and that's amazing to me. And to be able to open that up to somebody else or find that somewhere else, bro, that's crazy feat, bro, you know what I'm saying? Why would I do that? Give me an argument.

Brian [03:40:38]:
Yeah, there is no argument. So I see exactly the way you're talking about. And you might touch upon me personally, my psycho. Of what I think or what you think is needed or what I'm possibly missing out on providing the information or not being able, my true self with my wife. I personally don't feel that that is the case.

Eldar [03:41:02]:
But you mentioned certain examples here that this was the case for you.

Brian [03:41:06]:
Well, let me express. I'm able to be myself more with my wife than I am with anyone else. I'm able to maybe open up a little bit more, like you said, different sides of me with other individuals, but my wife gets 100%. It's not that.

Eldar [03:41:22]:
Again, to me, you're thinking lateral, logically.

Mike [03:41:26]:
It's hard to understand.

Phillip [03:41:27]:
I understand.

Eldar [03:41:28]:
You say on one hand and it's 100% on the other HANd. I could do it somewhere else a little bit more.

Phillip [03:41:32]:
No.

Brian [03:41:32]:
So my wife gets 100% of all of me. Doesn't mean that other individuals can't get 25% each. 100% doesn't exist as an individual. I give you 100%. I'm giving mike 50. What does that make? 150%?

Anatoliy [03:41:48]:
No, BUt HoLD on. There's an overall, let's say brine, 100%.

Mike [03:41:55]:
Right?

Anatoliy [03:41:56]:
And then within that, there's moments where you give certain percent to other people.

Brian [03:42:01]:
Correct? Correct.

Anatoliy [03:42:01]:
BUt OveRALL, you do have 100%.

Brian [03:42:03]:
My wife gets 100%. No, it doesn't break down as 2% here, 2% here. That adds up to 100%. These are numbers.

Anatoliy [03:42:14]:
Let me give you an examPle.

Phillip [03:42:16]:
Right?

Anatoliy [03:42:16]:
If we're having a conversation right now, riGht, me and you, I'm focused on this conversation, I'm giving you 100%.

Phillip [03:42:23]:
Right.

Anatoliy [03:42:24]:
But we just have this conversation, and that's it. Out of my whole self, I gave you zero one. Right?

Brian [03:42:31]:
Correct.

Phillip [03:42:31]:
Right. Okay.

Anatoliy [03:42:32]:
That's what I'm saying is that briaN, you have 100%, right? You give a certain percentage of the overall to your wife and you give a certain percentage to others.

Brian [03:42:42]:
When we are together, she gets 100%.

Anatoliy [03:42:44]:
Okay, 100%. But overall she doesn't get 100%.

Brian [03:42:49]:
When we are together, she receives 100%, just like as if we were correct.

Phillip [03:42:53]:
Anyone else?

Anatoliy [03:42:54]:
OVERAll, she doesn't get 100%.

Brian [03:42:56]:
I don't know.

Oleg C [03:43:00]:
Of his time of owning him. Of what?

Brian [03:43:03]:
Yeah, 100% of what?

Phillip [03:43:04]:
Overall of him.

Anatoliy [03:43:05]:
She doesn't get 100%. She gets 100% when he's in the moment.

Oleg C [03:43:09]:
Dude, you're actually saying this just put me on SoMethINg. Because I think you even were saying you go to other people, then your wife, because you can experience something new and something like, there's a part of Brian, right? Which means you can't. So I think maybe what elder and Tollia are kind of saying that actually maybe you're only 95% of yourself with your wife, but with someone else, you can be that other 5% that you.

Brian [03:43:32]:
Can'T be with your wife, and she.

Eldar [03:43:34]:
Can'T be 95, not them.

Oleg C [03:43:36]:
Yeah.

Eldar [03:43:37]:
They fill up a certain thing that he craves and enjoys.

Brian [03:43:40]:
I get what you're saying, but you're using it 100% like it was a battery, right? You get 100%.

Anatoliy [03:43:45]:
I'm trying to use it like we're.

Eldar [03:43:47]:
Trying to use it again. He's trying to do a mathematical equation so we can be on the same page of what's going on.

Anatoliy [03:43:52]:
The only way for us to be on the same page is to either.

Brian [03:43:55]:
Use math or logic, which are integral mathematically wise. When I'm with my wife, she receives 100% correct.

Phillip [03:44:02]:
Right.

Brian [03:44:02]:
If I'm with anybody else, they receive 100% of me as well. At that time. At that moment of what exactly you might be willing to give them over that moment.

Oleg C [03:44:12]:
That moment, he's giving the totally conversation.

Mike [03:44:16]:
A person, 5% of you. But that's 100% of what you're willing to give to them. You're not giving them everything because, Brian.

Eldar [03:44:23]:
Remember you said, hey, there's a limit. Hey, yeah, there's the line.

Phillip [03:44:28]:
There is.

Eldar [03:44:29]:
So, hey, I'm going to give you 90. But that 10% that equates to love.

Brian [03:44:32]:
That'S only to wife.

Phillip [03:44:34]:
Okay? Yeah.

Brian [03:44:36]:
All right, so you confuse us. My wife gets 100, the rest get 90, all right?

Oleg C [03:44:41]:
But those other people, they're getting 90 minus the love. But your wife is getting the love -10% that someone else is getting some other shit of, hey, we just met and we're dating, so this is fun.

Eldar [03:44:53]:
I'm just not sure that Brian is okay with saying that. He's given his wife 90% on it.

Brian [03:44:57]:
Yeah, well, you know, because I'm married, I'm not allowed to say shit like that.

Phillip [03:45:01]:
All right, cool.

Eldar [03:45:04]:
Thank you.

Brian [03:45:04]:
No, you guys are totally right. Absolutely correct when it comes to.

Eldar [03:45:08]:
And I think that if you've agreed with your wife on that, bro, and she fucks with that, brought more power to you guys.

Brian [03:45:14]:
She does. If she didn't, we wouldn't be.

Anatoliy [03:45:15]:
That's what you're saying, big fish.

Eldar [03:45:17]:
No, just make sure she don't listen to this.

Phillip [03:45:20]:
Wait, is that where the guy's always.

Oleg C [03:45:21]:
Telling tall tales and stuff?

Anatoliy [03:45:25]:
You got to watch that movie, big fish.

Brian [03:45:27]:
Did we conclude, is this the conclusion we can have?

Eldar [03:45:30]:
Final thoughts? All right, let's start with all final thoughts.

Phillip [03:45:35]:
All right.

Oleg C [03:45:35]:
My final thought is Brian is winning evolutionarily, humans are a parabon species.

Brian [03:45:42]:
Hold on, hold on.

Oleg C [03:45:45]:
Like, humans are a parabon species, so they're supposed to be one and one. However, in polyamory and all that stuff is a little bit deviating from that. However, there's two other things. One thing is men programmed to spread their seed as much as possible, which he symbolically. Symbolically is doing. Symbolically is doing. Yeah, it's enough to trick your body. Enough to trick your body and be happy with it.

Oleg C [03:46:10]:
And then the other thing is evolutionary. Humans are programmed to be in a relationship that pair bond, like four or five years. Why is it that relationships have this, like, what is it called? Honeymoon period and then whatever. So after four or five years, people are pretty much designed to fall apart relationships. It's usually once you make a child and then they grow up to be more or less be able to. Meaning they still have to live within the tribe, but they can stand by themselves, they can eat and shit, walk around, gather berries and shit. So he is at twelve years into a relationship. He's passed that four or five year pair bond.

Oleg C [03:46:46]:
So now he's going on and spreading the seed elsewhere and collecting more berries, however. So he is evolution, beating his genes like that and winning by going with them.

Eldar [03:47:01]:
But also, are you going to say something or are you going to just fucking rent? But also those sign up for Brian. Brian is a mill.

Oleg C [03:47:12]:
Yes, he is winning evolutionary, but also, there is one little quirk there. Unfortunately, he has passed the four or five years with the wife. And I think because he's been through so much with her, he does want to keep her as a friend. So he uses, I think, maybe the marriage to keep that friendship while actually being past that and already onto the spreading seed elsewhere.

Phillip [03:47:40]:
Philip, Brian said, hold on, if you.

Eldar [03:47:44]:
Say variety, yeah, I'm going to hit you with this bat.

Phillip [03:47:49]:
Brian said that. So he was saying that if he had to go back, that he would not be in a marriage, that he would be in an open relationship. So I think that where he's at now, I think that at the capability or what he's willing to give, that in these moments when he is with his wife or he is with the girl, he is giving 100% to somebody and he's giving 100% to somebody else of what he is capable of giving right now, I don't think that he does want the marriage, he wants the open relationship, and that's what he has now. Because he said if he had to go back, he would not be in the marriage. So I think right now, the way that he's talking, it's not 90 ten. I think he is giving his wife 100, he's giving these girls 100, and this is what he wants. And I do think that he likes to be with different women and recreate what he has with his wife, with others. This is how I see it.

Eldar [03:48:43]:
I don't know how.

Phillip [03:48:43]:
And this is how I think the idea and a psychology behind an open relationship would have to have. Because if you did not have the psychology, I think you would then want the traditional marriage. That's how I understand the psychology to be from.

Eldar [03:48:59]:
This conversation sounds good. One thing that resonated with me and my final thoughts is that Brian mentioned that the times when he does still feel vulnerable or jealous and stuff like that, and he still wants to spend quality time with his wife and he doesn't get it, he still is suffering from that. He'd like to remove that. Ultimately, I think that he is looking to find a way to be with somebody who can actually accept him for who he is truly 100% and not have the extraness. Because I think with extraness, as been proven, probably comes a little bit of a headache, you know what I mean? So despite of a variety or preferences you have with girls and stuff like that, I think we seek to maximize our pain. I mean, maximize our pain, maximize our pleasure and minimize our pain. And I think that still is in a monogamous relationship. So I think that Brian still is looking to.

Eldar [03:50:03]:
And one day I think he'll end up there where if he's truly looking for knowledge and trying to grow, I think he'll come to that conclusion. I'm just not sure when my final.

Anatoliy [03:50:12]:
Words are going to be very simple. Nobody here would have predicted it. I'm going to say one statement and that's it.

Eldar [03:50:20]:
Okay?

Phillip [03:50:21]:
Right.

Mike [03:50:22]:
You're welcome, Edit.

Eldar [03:50:25]:
You're welcome, guys.

Brian [03:50:27]:
Is that a compliment? I don't know.

Eldar [03:50:29]:
We're going to find out. Close.