80. Embracing Honesty in Lifestyle Choices: The Eldarism Perspective

Mike [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode. Yo, did you get the apartment? Never mind.

Oleg C [00:00:03]:
And Mike lives with his parents, so he's always bullying people about getting living somewhere. And to point out about elderism, you know, anytime the guru of the religion refers to that religion or philosophy as his name, that's when you know, like, you're in trouble.

Phillip [00:00:17]:
Now, my God, if this is dead, the discipline's dead. Then what the fuck else is dead?

Oleg C [00:00:23]:
Elderism doesn't accept of discipline.

Eldar [00:00:25]:
No.

Mike [00:00:26]:
Well, we know we're all expanding.

LT [00:00:27]:
Algorithm seems a little rough.

Oleg C [00:00:30]:
I pay $50 a month for a gym I haven't used in two years.

Eldar [00:00:33]:
You know why?

Oleg C [00:00:34]:
Because it went up to $100 and I'm getting a deal. I'm paying half price.

LT [00:00:37]:
But think Philip came in open minded.

Eldar [00:00:40]:
That's right. But. Exactly.

Phillip [00:00:41]:
I was ready.

LT [00:00:41]:
You're ready?

Eldar [00:00:42]:
Yes.

LT [00:00:43]:
Dennis ain't ready.

Eldar [00:00:51]:
I guess in order to introduce today's topic, I have to give a little background.

Eldar [00:00:55]:
Yes. Okay.

Eldar [00:00:55]:
Of what's actually been going on, what's been happening.

Eldar [00:00:58]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:00:59]:
Obviously all the good stuff has been happening. And to track back real quick and make it short and sweet, Philip joined Letterfriend, and since he joined Letterfriend, he kind of got bullied into elderism. And if you don't know what elderism is, you might experience some of it. Right.

Mike [00:01:19]:
So depending how honest you are.

Eldar [00:01:23]:
Yeah, that's true too.

Eldar [00:01:24]:
Right.

Eldar [00:01:25]:
So I guess joining the team, joining the podcast, enjoying the walks, enjoying all the perks and stuff like that, and opening up and sharing, I guess, gave him the opportunity to discover another side of himself, which know the honest side, I guess.

Eldar [00:01:42]:
Right.

Eldar [00:01:42]:
Or the true self.

Eldar [00:01:44]:
Right.

Eldar [00:01:44]:
In the sense of like, for a long time, Philip was putting on the nice guy right into the world where people pleaser. Yeah, he was a people pleaser where he would say things and do things in such a way where to make sure that others are comfortable, that everything is pc and stuff like that. And he came to find out that when he joined our group, he was accepted for who he is. And he actually has a lot to say, a lot to talk about, and he actually has a lot to offer.

Eldar [00:02:13]:
Right.

Eldar [00:02:13]:
And so he's kind of rediscovering himself in this process and enjoying himself a lot.

Eldar [00:02:20]:
Right?

Oleg C [00:02:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:02:22]:
And because he's enjoying himself a lot for quite some time, he noticed something for a while, he was kind of maybe like a lone wolf, right? Fending for himself, kind of knew his own structure and relied on his structure, on his routine, maybe his discipline and stuff like that. And that was kind of providing him the happiness or the peace or whatever.

Eldar [00:02:47]:
It is that he had at the time.

Eldar [00:02:49]:
But after he joined this group and he realized that there's another way of being that he can be his true self, he seemed that he's craving that more. He's gravitating more towards that. So what happened was a funny phenomenon. Maybe you could talk about a little bit more about it. When me, Mike, totally. We left for Bermuda. Nobody was here at the office.

Eldar [00:03:08]:
Right.

Eldar [00:03:09]:
He was here by himself, coming in, opening the office, closing the office.

Eldar [00:03:12]:
Right.

Eldar [00:03:13]:
It was only a couple of days, but he started feeling something where he's, you know, when you guys weren't here.

Eldar [00:03:20]:
I definitely felt that void. Right.

Eldar [00:03:23]:
Which he didn't have before. Maybe he did, but he wasn't really attentive to it. So maybe, Phil, if you can talk.

Eldar [00:03:30]:
A little bit about that void, talk.

Eldar [00:03:32]:
A little bit about some of the questions that came up in your mind and see what we can do. That's kind of the topic, right?

Eldar [00:03:37]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:03:38]:
So I would say, yeah, they came.

Phillip [00:03:40]:
Back from Bermuda, and they were asking me, like, oh, how was it? So one day I was completely here by myself, like, no, Tara. And then Monday was, Tara, but Tara's in that room. I'm here. So technically, me by myself the whole time. And I was saying, like, I worked from home. And the expectation when you're working from home is, I know other people aren't supposed to be there. And I felt, I guess, quote unquote comfortable. And then I would do my walks on the weekends, and I would spend time with myself.

Phillip [00:04:07]:
And I was saying to myself, like Eldor was saying before, I'm good. I'm good with myself. I am at peace. So now having all this established new type of collaboration, connection during work, it's like, kind of opening up this other kind of portal or way of thinking of how I am, and then I haven't experienced that by myself yet. So then when I got to do this, there was such a low where.

Phillip [00:04:31]:
I was going home, and I almost.

Phillip [00:04:35]:
Felt like, am I not able to generate my own happiness? And I rely on other people now to give me my happiness. It was such a revelation because I was so used to being on my.

Phillip [00:04:45]:
Own, and all my friends would know me.

Phillip [00:04:47]:
If you asked them, they'd be like.

Phillip [00:04:48]:
Philip'S so good by goes. He does everything by him.

Phillip [00:04:51]:
I go to movies by myself.

Phillip [00:04:53]:
I'll take a drive down the beach by myself. I do stay.

Oleg C [00:04:56]:
Total weirdo.

Phillip [00:04:57]:
But, yeah, I do all this for myself.

Phillip [00:04:58]:
I'm like, I'm fine. Now I'm realizing I actually crave this connection, and I was lying to myself. So working from home was, like, probably the worst thing. And now coming back, this office, it's been great. And actually, Eldar called me when I was working at another job, and he said I sounded dead on the phone, and I didn't know this about myself. I didn't know maybe to the extent of how unhappy I was at this job. But Eldor pointed it out, and it wasn't until I started working here for a couple of weeks, doing the podcast, going for walks, and experiencing all of letterfriend that I said, elderism. Elderism.

Phillip [00:05:31]:
Sorry, cut that out, Denis.

Eldar [00:05:32]:
It's fucking elderism. And Dennis, by the way, coined that shit.

Phillip [00:05:35]:
But, yeah, so I guess it took me to the point. Now is where we're standing today is how do you generate your own happiness and not be reliant on the group.

Phillip [00:05:45]:
That you're getting it from? So that's kind of where we left.

Phillip [00:05:48]:
It off, and we haven't explored that topic yet.

Eldar [00:05:49]:
Yeah, that's brand new. And that's what he experienced, and that's how the topic came about.

Eldar [00:05:53]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:05:53]:
And now we give the floor to our guest speaker.

Eldar [00:05:55]:
His name is Oleg.

Eldar [00:06:00]:
Isn't that what you wanted?

Oleg C [00:06:01]:
No, I didn't know it was the guest. I don't know anything.

Eldar [00:06:05]:
You didn't prepare. Here we go. Now you're all shy.

Oleg C [00:06:08]:
I could teach you, though.

Eldar [00:06:08]:
That's what I'm saying. Please teach us a little bit.

Eldar [00:06:10]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:06:10]:
About the phenomenon.

Mike [00:06:12]:
This is a teachable moment.

Eldar [00:06:13]:
This is a teachable moment.

Oleg C [00:06:14]:
Go ahead, intro. I always jokes, but I was like, I want to seriously take it in, because when you started saying, like, philip, I was going to say Kevin. Like, american white people name Kevin McAllister. He was PC. He tried to make people comfortable. Now he's come out of his shell, right? He reconnected with his white supremacist friends from back in the day, started beating his wife more and shit. Having fun.

Phillip [00:06:47]:
Just get up the good old time.

Oleg C [00:06:49]:
And to point out about elderism, anytime the guru of the religion refers to that religion or philosophy as his name, that's when you know you're in trouble.

Eldar [00:07:01]:
Then you know something, now you're in.

Oleg C [00:07:05]:
You hired a cleaner to come in today. Any humble guru, it's like, oh, elders. I was like, dude, I don't know what you're talking about. Or even like, karl Marx, right? It's like, oh, I'm not a marxist. This is just stuff I say. Elder is like, yo, this is the in.

Eldar [00:07:23]:
And there's nothing else better than line up your wives. I fuck on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Friday.

Oleg C [00:07:30]:
My dick is open five days a week, my pocket open all the.

Eldar [00:07:36]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:07:37]:
Are you going to say something?

Oleg C [00:07:38]:
Or substance? No.

Eldar [00:07:42]:
I mean, it's.

Oleg C [00:07:44]:
People like Philip are always interesting to me because I feel like I'm an alien when talking to people like that. Because for me, I've never been self, I guess, sufficient or whatever. I always need other people input, people around me, whatever. When I'm by myself, it's fucked up, actually.

Eldar [00:08:03]:
Although.

Oleg C [00:08:03]:
But it's weird. I need to be around people, but then I have my own moment. But I've heard a lot of things recently about something about that. Even, like, people who are introverts, it doesn't mean that they're supposed to be always by themselves. Some people even use that whole a little bit story that like, oh, I'm an introvert. I'm an introvert. And then when they're finally with people, they're like, shit. I've been missing a lot and feel way better.

Oleg C [00:08:29]:
But it's weird, like, when you weren't with people, you didn't feel like you were missing something. You were happy, right? It's just when you.

Phillip [00:08:40]:
No, I was shut off to it, right? So being shut off to it for so long, you become numb to it, but it becomes your regular personality, and then that's your new normal.

Phillip [00:08:50]:
For me, that's how I was operating. And this was for a long time. I'm saying high school, maybe college and stuff. It's not like for a couple of months, you know what I'm saying? So experiencing this now, I've only had to experience this for a couple of weeks to realize that this is the truth. And then everything else just kind of falls away and you realize all the other things that I was doing by myself. It was all bullshit, actually. It wasn't my real sense of who I was. It was almost probably like a coping mechanism, or was it just like I.

Phillip [00:09:20]:
Was accepting a level of personality or.

Phillip [00:09:23]:
Like a level of just routine that.

Phillip [00:09:25]:
Maybe I thought I deserved, or it was going to make it, quote unquote.

Phillip [00:09:29]:
Easier for me and allow me to make other people happy. But I never really sat down and said, oh, I need to fix something. So I didn't think anything was off. But it's not until you discover the truth and you open up a new level of thinking. And now I'm saying, like, okay, I can't go back to the other one.

Phillip [00:09:45]:
But how do I fix this now by myself? Because I'm going to inevitably be by myself, right?

Eldar [00:09:51]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:09:51]:
It's like, how do I do that?

Oleg C [00:09:52]:
But you've never before in your life, like, your whole life, run into a situation where I made you question this. You know what I mean?

Phillip [00:10:00]:
No, not when I'm by myself.

Phillip [00:10:02]:
I always would say to myself, I liked it. Even when I was in relationships, I would say, like, I needed.

Phillip [00:10:08]:
I've had arguments with people that I dated where they didn't understand my level of independence, where I said, I need.

Eldar [00:10:14]:
Time on my own.

Phillip [00:10:15]:
I need time to relax away from family, friends.

Phillip [00:10:18]:
I told myself I need all these things. And to a point, you still do.

Phillip [00:10:22]:
Maybe like after a full week of.

Phillip [00:10:23]:
Doing all the stuff we do, I like to hang out on Sunday by.

Phillip [00:10:26]:
Myself and I'm okay.

Phillip [00:10:27]:
But not having these guys in the office for two days, not having anything on the weekend, like four or five days, it was like pulling the rug.

Phillip [00:10:35]:
Out underneath because I'm used to my regular routine now with these guys for two months. And I think it affected productivity, it affected my happiness and just, like, overall well being. So it was like a profound experience. And I felt, like, helpless at times. It wasn't even like. It was a little bit. It wasn't even like, oh, I'm just like, a little down and now I'm feeling better. It was a consistent thing that stuck for four days and it didn't go in and out.

Phillip [00:11:00]:
That's when I said, like, damn, this is really something. I was talking to my friends about it and they were like, this is you being.

Phillip [00:11:08]:
You have to be comfortable with this now instead of beating yourself up.

Phillip [00:11:10]:
And this started to get me thinking about it when we said, hey, what topic should we talk about? I'm like, all right, this is definitely the one. So, yeah, I don't have much insight besides what I was dealing with, but in terms of what should we put forward, I'm open to ideas.

Eldar [00:11:25]:
Yeah, I have a question.

Eldar [00:11:27]:
Sounds like you like a drug addict, bro. Withdrawals.

Oleg C [00:11:31]:
We can get it.

Eldar [00:11:34]:
Because his voice, elder is withdrawals.

Oleg C [00:11:37]:
Bro, you did a number on this guy, how they hook you, and now they're going to start asking for money to hang out with them.

Mike [00:11:47]:
Did you never used to be, like, a social person or you felt like you were a loner?

Phillip [00:11:52]:
No. I knew that when I was in front of people that I liked to be, and then I said, okay, there reaches a time where I have to be done and then I have to go back. So it was come out and get it.

Phillip [00:12:06]:
Like the interaction. I would love to connect, then I would go back into my little shell.

Mike [00:12:10]:
Okay, I understood. So do you think that maybe because the relationships you were having and the interactions you were having in the past, why you need to recover from them? Because they were not really actually genuine, they were just more like surface level things?

Phillip [00:12:25]:
Yeah, because the people pleaser self, whatever.

Phillip [00:12:29]:
Relationships that I've been in, I'm a single guy now, so, I mean, all.

Phillip [00:12:32]:
The relationship I've been in obviously haven't worked out, right. So, yeah, needing breaks from relationships, needing breaks from certain types of family members or friends, if those interactions aren't true, and I'm not being my true self now, I have a better understanding as to why I did need that space. But when I'm hanging out with you guys, I'm staying after work. We're doing podcasts, we're spending time on the weekends.

Phillip [00:12:57]:
We're going to eat, and I'm looking forward to it more and more. So, yeah, I would say that definitely plays a big factor, is who you are in this conversation, which would be your truest self, and then the people that you're with, people that aren't judging you, allowing you to be your true self and them also being their genuine selves. So I think it's feeling safe in a space so you can be vulnerable and open, but obviously, when you're working from home. I don't know how I would even have came to this conclusion, even if I did fucking mushrooms or something, or I wrote in my journal every day and I prayed, I don't know how you would come to the conclusion of what I did here, which was, I love social interaction, and I haven't been my true self.

Eldar [00:13:44]:
I don't know.

Eldar [00:13:45]:
I actually think that what you experienced is a perfectly normal phenomenon.

Eldar [00:13:48]:
Okay. Yeah.

Eldar [00:13:49]:
Because you obviously, like you said, discovered something about yourself.

Eldar [00:13:52]:
You enjoyed it.

Eldar [00:13:53]:
You enjoyed enough of it to know what you actually like and what you want to continue to pursue.

Eldar [00:13:59]:
Right.

Eldar [00:13:59]:
And as soon as you ripped that off or took that out and went back to your normal routine, which you're used to, that was not cutting it anymore. Yeah, I think it's perfectly normal.

Phillip [00:14:08]:
Yeah, I did everything the same.

Phillip [00:14:09]:
Like, I went to the city, I did my walk, came home, I go food shopping, go home, you watch a show, whatever. You text friends, family, whatever. And, yeah, man, it was like, such a low.

Phillip [00:14:22]:
It was like a depressive state. Like I said, it wasn't a little bit. I'm not trying to be dramatic.

Phillip [00:14:27]:
It was like a sadness because I felt, like, helpless. I didn't know what was happening. And I'm like, oh, shit, okay, what's different? And I deduced, all right, these guys are on vacation. I'm going to the office by myself.

Eldar [00:14:41]:
And I'm like, this is not what I want.

Oleg C [00:14:45]:
Do you think it's circumstantial at all? You're just used to it? Or, like, being in the office by yourself is hard?

Eldar [00:14:50]:
Or is it because you can be.

Oleg C [00:14:54]:
A certain type of way in this context that you haven't gotten to be before with friends or family?

Phillip [00:15:00]:
So, again, if you're around people that are allowing you to be your true self, and that is somebody who's not going to judge you and just allow you to just kind of do what.

Phillip [00:15:09]:
It is you do, I feel like these guys appreciate.

Eldar [00:15:12]:
But before you continue with that and say that all this shit is happy love and fucking acceptance and all the bullshit, that's not it.

Eldar [00:15:18]:
Philip.

Eldar [00:15:19]:
You put yourself under the gun, and I'm giving you props for that. Now that we were judgmental about certain behaviors that you had.

Phillip [00:15:25]:
Oh, very much.

Eldar [00:15:26]:
With your ability to be vulnerable, you allowed us to do that. So it wasn't just we just accepted you for who you are. No, we actually challenged some of the stuff that you used to do and used to say, and you were able to use your own reason, your own critical thinking to say, you know what? You're right. Let me test this theory out, see what they're saying and see how it goes. And then you quickly pivoted if you needed to, if you believe what we said. Right? So it wasn't just like, hey, yeah, hug. Hug it out, and we accept you for who you are. Be weird.

Eldar [00:15:53]:
No.

Eldar [00:15:53]:
If you're being fucking weird, doing some weird shit, we're going to tell you that it's fucking weird. No, challenge it.

Phillip [00:15:57]:
That's a good point. I think we talked about this on one of the other podcasts was, they.

Phillip [00:16:01]:
Did challenge me a lot, and I remember actually getting mad at a lot of things that they were saying because they were challenging me. And usually people that you work with or people that you're not really close with yet.

Phillip [00:16:11]:
I'm not used to people challenging me. Like, so, like, I feel like they were calling me out and they were.

Phillip [00:16:17]:
Doing it from a place of questioning me. That's pretty much what this whole podcast is. It's philosophy. We're asking, why are you doing things? Do you like this?

Phillip [00:16:24]:
Do you actually like it? Mike would be asking me stuff, and I'd be like, this guy's fucking.

Eldar [00:16:30]:
He's on to me.

Phillip [00:16:30]:
Yeah, this guy thrives in, like, this. He saw blood in the water. I was, like, fucking asking. But now I understand where it was coming from. And I think that's what I'm saying now is, I guess when I am being open and vulnerable and I am putting out whatever it is, you guys are questioning some of it, and then it's making me question it, because, like I said, most people are not questioning, hey, if you're going to the city and you're going for walks in the morning, you're burning calories, you're being outside, you're breathing in fresh air. Nobody's asking me, is this, I don't.

Oleg C [00:17:02]:
Know, actually healthy for you?

Phillip [00:17:03]:
Yeah, maybe fresh air.

Eldar [00:17:06]:
Central park?

Phillip [00:17:07]:
Yeah, Central park. But, yeah, nobody to me would ask.

Phillip [00:17:11]:
Me, hey, do you think this is actually healthy for your routine? Do you actually think the routine's good?

Phillip [00:17:15]:
And then you guys knocked out discipline.

Phillip [00:17:16]:
Like the first podcast for me. And to give you guys insight on.

Phillip [00:17:21]:
How they broke down discipline for me, I always associated discipline with something that was positive. So if I heard, like, I don't know, Joe Rogan or I heard Tony Robbins or any of these guys that are, like, self help gurus in a sense, would, you know, discipline is, like, the pillar of your success, because there might be days where you're not motivated to do things, but you can rely on discipline. I believe this. And then elderism said, hey, discipline, why do you need to have this pillar in place to do something? Do you think that maybe you just don't like that thing and you're forcing yourself to do something that maybe you don't want to do? And that resonated with me. And I'm like, yeah, maybe I just don't like my routine. And people that need discipline maybe need it to do something that they don't want to do. And most people probably go to jobs that they don't like. They go to school when they don't want to do this.

Phillip [00:18:11]:
They don't get paid enough. They don't have the right friends, the right girlfriend, whatever. So most people are probably just accepting of this. And I was definitely in that category. And I was like, damn, discipline's not even a good thing. And that's kind of like how they hooked me on this philosophy stuff, because now I'm like, all right, if this is dead, the discipline's dead. Then what the fuck else is dead?

Oleg C [00:18:31]:
Alderism doesn't accept discipline.

Mike [00:18:33]:
No, well, we know we're all accepted.

LT [00:18:35]:
Alderism seems a little rough.

Eldar [00:18:37]:
Here we go.

Mike [00:18:39]:
Also, you don't think this one is dead?

Eldar [00:18:41]:
Listen, Mike killed it. I rode with it, and I understand and I agree 100% with it. Just like he said, if you need to force yourself to do something, that is forcing yourself.

Eldar [00:18:51]:
Right?

Eldar [00:18:52]:
Then I asked him the question. You didn't elaborate on the example. I said, philip. Philip really likes design. I'm like, philip, do you need to discipline yourself to do design? He goes, no, I can do it anytime. Like, I can talk about design for days. I like doing the shit. And I'm like, for me, I like gardening.

Eldar [00:19:06]:
I can outgarden Philip, because Philip doesn't like gardening. And it's not fucking discipline. I like doing gardening, therefore I can do it as much as I want. Lt, basketball. Like basketball, you can out basketball. Outshoot everybody.

Eldar [00:19:19]:
Correct? Right, correct.

Eldar [00:19:20]:
But doing some weird shit out there that you think is good for you. And if you're applying discipline, you really need to get up in the morning and do this out of that. True. It's not being good to yourself.

Eldar [00:19:32]:
It's not self love.

Eldar [00:19:33]:
You know what I mean? So that's why we're saying that. Not saying that discipline is dead. Discipline is alive and fucking thriving out there. Because a lot of fucking people, the weirdos like Joe Rogan and Tony Robbins, is fucking pushing that shit. You know what I'm saying?

Oleg C [00:19:44]:
Wait, but let me ask you for lt to.

Eldar [00:19:47]:
Let's say he wants to get better at free.

Oleg C [00:19:51]:
Know, that's not really fun. But wouldn't he need discipline?

Eldar [00:19:55]:
How do you know that's not fun?

Oleg C [00:19:57]:
I mean, for many people, it's not fun.

Mike [00:19:59]:
Well, yeah, discipline is like a thing that covers 99% of the population, right? But it doesn't mean you can't be that 1%. He may be the 1% who actually likes free throws because he actually wants to get better at it. And that's going to bring him happiness to be better at that specific part of the game.

Oleg C [00:20:14]:
Eldor, let's say, wakes up one day, doesn't feel like doing something for gardening, you're not 100%.

Eldar [00:20:21]:
You don't do it, but you need.

Oleg C [00:20:23]:
To do it so this thing doesn't die. It does take discipline to do it.

Eldar [00:20:27]:
No, what I'm saying is that I think that as people, you can't always.

Oleg C [00:20:31]:
Be like, guy, folks, listen.

Eldar [00:20:32]:
No, I'm not saying that. Get rid of discipline in all aspects of your life and just kind of just do whatever the fuck you want. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that try to analyze or trying to examine some of the things that you're doing, and you're forcing yourself in those areas and to see whether or not you can tweak it in such a way where you do more things that you like, aka fun, and do less things that you dislike, where you're applying discipline. That's all I'm saying. You know what I mean? And in certain cases of Philip's life, he said, hey, look, it seems like.

Eldar [00:20:59]:
I'm being a little bit too hard.

Eldar [00:21:01]:
On myself on a lot of these things, and am I really happy? What's actually going on?

Eldar [00:21:05]:
Right?

Eldar [00:21:06]:
So as he starts examining that, he quickly finds out that discipline is not actually serving him, it's taking away from him.

Eldar [00:21:12]:
Right? And that's the problem.

Eldar [00:21:14]:
And I think a lot of people in life, right, they're like, oh, I need to be disciplined. Discipline.

Eldar [00:21:18]:
Do this.

Eldar [00:21:19]:
I think a lot of people need to remove discipline, probably, and say, we need to put a little bit more self love, self care, and actually find.

Eldar [00:21:25]:
Out what do I actually want to do?

Eldar [00:21:27]:
Do you actually want to go out there and walk 20 miles right now, or do you actually just want to.

Eldar [00:21:31]:
Watch Netflix and chill?

Oleg C [00:21:33]:
Ask yourself, but if Philip, let's say, had a whatever, he was very overweight, and he needs to do something about it, that requires discipline, right? Because that's going to allow him to.

Mike [00:21:44]:
But the discipline happier. The thing is discipline. Is that an action, or is that.

Eldar [00:21:48]:
A thought.

Oleg C [00:21:50]:
Discipline, or is it both? From what I.

Phillip [00:21:54]:
Discipline.

Oleg C [00:21:56]:
It's like taking action. You don't want to action.

Eldar [00:21:59]:
Right?

Mike [00:21:59]:
So would you not say, like you're saying Phil is not healthy, overweight or whoever is overweight and have to apply discipline. But let's say for a lot of.

Eldar [00:22:11]:
My life, I was always overweight, and.

Mike [00:22:13]:
I never liked running, but I always like playing basketball. That's cardio, too.

Eldar [00:22:16]:
Right?

Mike [00:22:17]:
So I guess it's like finding ways, because there's different ways to go about it, right. If you like basketball, that's your cardio that you're working out, then you can be healthy, because it's do more basketball.

Eldar [00:22:30]:
Do more basketball, lose yourself in the thing that you actually enjoy, which then the byproduct of it will be a healthier lifestyle and losing weight. And I think that individuals, most individuals in life, can point to those things. They're not really zooming in enough or thinking enough about them in order to find them. There's plenty of people, basketball players. Right lt that say like, hey, I'd rather play basketball than go to the gym. That's like a thing.

LT [00:22:57]:
I was just thinking about it myself right now. I can't get myself to work out.

Eldar [00:23:00]:
That's right.

Oleg C [00:23:02]:
Basketball is a game.

LT [00:23:04]:
I go to the gym and I want to work out. Right. Because I want to work on myself. Right. But as soon as I see the court, I want to go straight to the basketball court.

Eldar [00:23:12]:
Yes.

Oleg C [00:23:12]:
And I just want to shoot around.

Phillip [00:23:13]:
So lt, I think the same thing is that I have a gym in my building. I can walk down and go to the gym, exercise anytime. I put out, probably a couple of months ago, like an outfit, that I would do it, that I would go. And I still never went. So I said to myself, why am I not working out? And I would beat myself up over it. Beat myself up. But ultimately, if I'm going for walks, and then I found out I can work out in my apartment just on like a little yoga mat, and I would still be in good shape because I can eat well, I can do this, and I can do all the.

Phillip [00:23:41]:
Things I like, which is walking, working out my apartment. I don't have to go to the gym. I had this thing in my head that I have to do this thing. And this was that discipline that we're talking about. But to Mike's point, I found that I can go walking. If you want to play basketball, why would you put pressure on yourself to think that you have to go to the gym because you think that you need this thing? If you broke down calorie wise, I bet you'd probably burn more calories playing basketball than going on a treadmill.

LT [00:24:04]:
Anyway.

Oleg C [00:24:06]:
I don't know about weight training.

Eldar [00:24:08]:
I'm sorry. Because lt can zone out into basketball naturally. And he can lose track of time in basketball.

Eldar [00:24:15]:
Right.

Eldar [00:24:15]:
He can do two, 3 hours, 4 hours. I'm speaking for you. I'm making assumptions because I'm also a basketball player and I like basketball.

LT [00:24:21]:
But I agree with you.

Eldar [00:24:22]:
Yeah. Okay.

Eldar [00:24:22]:
Where naturally, right. If he does more of it or removes certain things in his life, that's hold him away from playing basketball, this healthy part will come to you.

Phillip [00:24:30]:
So I think what we're essentially saying is that most people that are doing discipline, they're not really putting a lot of thought into saying, like, is this actually serving me? At least I can speak for myself. But I would assume that most people aren't because most people aren't really happy. So if we're relying on this thing to give us something back, and it's not happiness. Then why are we doing like. That's why we're asking. And I think the other example, too, we brought up was Shaquille O'Neill. So, for a basketball example, he was.

Phillip [00:25:00]:
A really dominant guy, and they started fouling him. And it was called hackishack. I think we're talking about this.

Phillip [00:25:06]:
So they actually got Shaquille O'Neill to start working on free throws because he was getting fouled so much. But it wasn't a good part of his game. And he was like a laughing stock to leave because he was shooting like, what, 20, 30% or whatever from free throw. So we were saying, why would you focus on something that's not part of your game? Just be a shitty free throw shooter, and then just keep getting better at dunking and being a big man. So this is the kind of discipline that even in professional worlds, these people are instilling this in you, instead of saying, hey, why don't we focus on what you're really great at and just get you even better.

Eldar [00:25:40]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:25:41]:
So this is the concept for me. That example resonated with me because it was sports, too. But, yeah, it's like, why don't I do more walking? Why don't I do more interaction with people on a day to day basis, opposed to just doing something on my own that I think is serving me? Which now I came to the conclusion it's not.

Phillip [00:25:58]:
But again, I didn't come to that.

Phillip [00:25:59]:
Conclusion until it was pointed out to me by other people.

Eldar [00:26:02]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:26:03]:
So, coming back to the original example is, how do we do this on our own? How do we come to these conclusions on our own, and how do we instill happiness in ourselves without relying on other people?

Eldar [00:26:12]:
Yeah, it's a very good question.

Eldar [00:26:14]:
And I think. Let me just bring Catherine up to speed.

Eldar [00:26:17]:
Babe.

Eldar [00:26:18]:
We're talking about Philip. When we left to Bermuda, experienced deep.

Eldar [00:26:24]:
Right when we were gone, he's like, hey, the thing that we cultivated here.

Eldar [00:26:29]:
And the thing that he's been experiencing. Elderism, right? Bringing him all this happiness and stuff. So when he was alone, he was almost, like, going through withdrawals. Oh, shit, the guys are not here. I'm kind of lonely. I'm back to my thoughts.

Phillip [00:26:39]:
Yeah, Kat asked me.

Phillip [00:26:40]:
She's like, yo, how was it? I was like, it sucked. I appreciate your honesty.

Eldar [00:26:45]:
So, with that being said, philip came up with a topic, is to say, like, okay, cool. So how do now kind of transition to also being okay by myself?

Eldar [00:26:54]:
Right.

Eldar [00:26:55]:
That's the question. Because he obviously doesn't want to experience those kinds of things. I'm starting to say first, obviously, I think it's a perfectly normal phenomenon, what he's experienced, because for a very long time, I think Philip himself has been depriving himself of himself right in this type of environment. He's rediscovered himself. He's like, holy shit, I'm Philip. I'm okay with being Philip. You know what I mean? He's accepting himself, he's comfortable, so he's talking his shit. He's actually very know.

Eldar [00:27:20]:
He doesn't have a hair on his tongue, you know what I mean? Podcast shows, it listens to all this shit.

Oleg C [00:27:24]:
It's very good, you know what I mean?

Eldar [00:27:26]:
Yeah, he talks a lot of shit.

Oleg C [00:27:27]:
Not a hair on his tongue.

Eldar [00:27:29]:
Not a hair on his tongue.

Eldar [00:27:30]:
Yeah. What is that.

Oleg C [00:27:33]:
Really southern shit?

Eldar [00:27:34]:
Are you serious?

Phillip [00:27:38]:
I never heard it before, but I knew what you were saying.

Eldar [00:27:40]:
Did I just make this up?

LT [00:27:41]:
I thought it was part of the elder vocabulary.

Eldar [00:27:45]:
You know what it is?

Katherine [00:27:51]:
Spanish, we say notionipelo la lingua. Like you. You just say what's. Maybe I made a translation you weren't supposed.

Eldar [00:28:02]:
To. Are you serious?

LT [00:28:06]:
He had hair on it.

Eldar [00:28:08]:
I never heard.

Oleg C [00:28:08]:
Back in the day when they say.

Eldar [00:28:09]:
If you drink, I got the ball.

Oleg C [00:28:10]:
Over the hair on your right. No.

Eldar [00:28:14]:
Do you understand what this means or no, that means like, he doesn't have a filter.

Mike [00:28:17]:
That's another way to say what you meant. I never heard that expression.

Eldar [00:28:21]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:28:21]:
So what I'm saying is that Philip discovered himself to be his true self, and he's able to do that and express himself. He's like, yo, I like it, and I want to do as much as possible of it. I think it's a totally normal phenomena. So when you start getting into places or areas where you can't be yourself, you start feeling that void, you know what I mean? And you're going to definitely feel sadness. You're definitely going to feel sad, right. If you were hanging out around people that you can't be yourself, it's terrible, you know, crippling.

Katherine [00:28:46]:
The irony of what he went. The irony of that is that you were in your previous job and you thought that you really liked working remotely. He's like, this is like my jam.

Eldar [00:28:59]:
Yeah.

Katherine [00:28:59]:
And then you came here and you're like, I don't know if I want to do an office. And now that you had a chance to be in office by yourself, well.

Eldar [00:29:06]:
He even wrote to me when I gave him the offer. He wrote on the thing. He's like, those are my requisites, these are my prerequisites. I mean, these are my requests. And I scratched off the work remotely. I'm like, the money.

Oleg C [00:29:19]:
You're coming in to scratch the salary right away.

Eldar [00:29:22]:
Salary I gave.

Oleg C [00:29:23]:
This is an unpaid internship. I said hybrid schedule, touching the mic, by the way.

Eldar [00:29:30]:
Now you're good.

Phillip [00:29:31]:
I said hybrid schedule and professional blender, which we got.

Eldar [00:29:34]:
No, got you a better.

Phillip [00:29:36]:
I said blender and you got us.

Eldar [00:29:37]:
I got you a professional one, the highest one. And we would name this blender is actually very good. We would name the brand of it, but you got to send that check.

Phillip [00:29:44]:
Yeah, 100%, you know what I mean?

Eldar [00:29:45]:
Send us to Lt. Take care. Lt is going to manage it.

Phillip [00:29:49]:
We called their customer service and we had some fun with the tamper stuff, but ultimately they taught us that you can't just put it on variable and just crank it up slowly. This machine is meant to crank at like number ten, high speed because they.

Mike [00:30:03]:
Got to send us the money.

Oleg C [00:30:05]:
Yeah, you're going to mention it all.

Eldar [00:30:07]:
The time now, so we're never going to mention it.

Eldar [00:30:09]:
We're never going to mention until they send us a check.

Oleg C [00:30:11]:
But how are they going to know about you?

Mike [00:30:13]:
What do you mean?

Eldar [00:30:13]:
What do you think, Olak? How do you think people discover a podcast and stuff like that?

Phillip [00:30:17]:
I have no idea, because you guys.

Oleg C [00:30:19]:
Don'T do any of this stuff. That's successful. Podcasts do. It's like no talking over each other. What is it, advertising? You know what I mean? You guys are very underground podcast. Like literally under. You guys throw dirt on it like every time. Extra dirt and shit instead of like shining it.

Eldar [00:30:42]:
Listen, we're raw and uncut, I guess. Very raw.

Oleg C [00:30:46]:
I'm not saying this is not how it should be, but I'm just saying like, this is not very discoverable.

Eldar [00:30:52]:
Yeah, no, don't worry about. You want pc shit. This is not pc shit.

Oleg C [00:30:55]:
Who wants pc?

Eldar [00:30:56]:
Yeah, that's what I hear. All right, so, yeah, get back to the point.

Eldar [00:31:02]:
Right.

Eldar [00:31:02]:
So obviously I think it's a normal phenomenon for you to experience that. I'm not sure if it's okay to accept it. I think it's okay to understand it.

Eldar [00:31:10]:
Right.

Eldar [00:31:10]:
Like your friend said, hey, you might have to just accept it kind of thing. No, I think you should challenge yourself to see what it is that you can do in order to not experience that, obviously.

Eldar [00:31:19]:
Right.

Eldar [00:31:19]:
And I think I was thinking about it on the walk when you told me the answer might lie in having fun, having more fun. It's going to come down to. And that was podcast number one, actually, our topic was about having fun. It's a very interesting topic on episode one about actually learning how to have fun, because a lot of us don't know how to have fun or let alone. Catherine didn't even know what she likes to do for fun, you know what I mean? Up until she started to kind of learn about herself doing therapy and stuff like that and discovering yourself, finding out what is it that you actually like to do.

Eldar [00:31:53]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [00:31:54]:
You have to ask yourself that genuine question and see and just do more of know if you can.

Oleg C [00:31:58]:
By the way, in defense of all those discipline guys, you guys were criticizing Joe Rogan and all that, they actually, first and foremost, they do talk about living that life, living that character that you want to be, living that discover what you want to do with your life. They just talk about discipline as a means maybe to getting you there. Right? Like, let's say you like podcasting. We'll have the discipline to look up mics today, not just fucking eat pizza and watch Netflix.

Eldar [00:32:25]:
No.

Eldar [00:32:25]:
The problem is, I'm not sure if they're digging hard enough to find out or they might be taking those people's words for face value and not actually digging. Whether or not those people actually do like podcasting.

Eldar [00:32:35]:
Right.

Eldar [00:32:35]:
You know what I'm saying? Because a lot of people will say, yeah, I like this. No, you don't. Why? Because you don't actually fucking do it.

Eldar [00:32:41]:
You're a liar.

Eldar [00:32:42]:
You're lying to me. You're lying to yourself.

Eldar [00:32:43]:
Yes or no?

Eldar [00:32:45]:
A lot of people will say these things. You know what I mean? And at the end of the day, if you challenge them, okay, cool. If you really like it, what is it actually holding you away from actually doing it more?

Eldar [00:32:55]:
Right.

Eldar [00:32:55]:
Discipline. You're a liar.

Oleg C [00:32:57]:
Yeah, I think that's a very, like. I don't know how to say whatever argument. It's like one of those, right, where it's similar, where if somebody's like, I don't know, silly, but if somebody's always calling people, oh, this guy's gay, this guy's gay, they're like, oh, maybe you are, because you call everybody that, right? This is like one of those, I feel like, very switcheroo pop psychology kind of like, oh, you don't like, whatever.

Eldar [00:33:24]:
I don't know.

Oleg C [00:33:25]:
You don't want to be this or you don't want to do this because you don't do it, but it's awesome. There's plenty of people that their dream is to do this and this, but these obstacles or what's going on their head or whatever prevents them.

Phillip [00:33:37]:
But you're just saying that the obstacles are preventing them. We're asking if discipline is the reason that they would be able to get there, and we're saying that it's not. So maybe they have maybe a fear of rejection or something like that. And we're saying, is discipline like, is discipline the reason? And we're saying, no, not the reason.

Oleg C [00:33:54]:
But discipline will push you past that fear. And eventually you fall in love with that thing.

Mike [00:34:00]:
Eventually discipline will let you do more of the things you don't like.

Oleg C [00:34:04]:
Discipline is kind of like what you want to get somewhere.

Eldar [00:34:10]:
Dick punch.

Oleg C [00:34:10]:
It's like taking mushrooms or something. If somebody takes mushrooms, I get enough. At first, the come up is very uncomfortable, uncomfortable, uncomfortable until you hit that moment where they kick in enough where actually it now takes you and it feels better than the discomfort. And now it's just natural.

Mike [00:34:32]:
You want me to finish them?

Eldar [00:34:35]:
You're done.

Mike [00:34:39]:
I'll see. Wanted to ask something. Yeah, but I could do the fatality on all.

LT [00:34:44]:
Fatality.

Mike [00:34:45]:
Fatality, yeah. See, I think what you're saying is discipline is needed when people don't examine everything else before discipline. You don't just wake up one day and say, I'm going to do discipline because I want to do this. You don't check your value system. Why you want to live this certain image lifestyle? Do you actually believe in it? Does it line up with your characteristics, your values? Or are you just being some kind of fake ass person just because you watch some inspirational videos and you all of a sudden you want to be a super athlete or a super rich guy? The truth is you may be passionate about fucking. I don't know about cooking, super athlete.

Oleg C [00:35:17]:
Those are very sure.

Mike [00:35:19]:
I'm trying to give general examples of people doing random things that actually they don't care about, but they bought into because, oh, your dad said, yo, I want you to be a doctor. And now you're chasing that dream where you actually, you want to be a chef. Why the fuck are you chasing that?

Oleg C [00:35:33]:
This is very low hanging fruit, though. But we're talking about already the person recognized.

Eldar [00:35:37]:
They want to be a chef.

Oleg C [00:35:39]:
But if you already recognize your dad, they don't have money to go to.

Mike [00:35:43]:
But how does discipline help you standing.

Eldar [00:35:44]:
Up to your dad?

Oleg C [00:35:46]:
You tell yourself, I'm going to do it. I don't want to. I'm scared, whatever. But I'm going to say it and be what it happens discipline is almost like a form of courage.

Phillip [00:35:56]:
So he likes it more than anything. This is a really hard separation for me, and I got mad also. This is going to be tough.

Mike [00:36:03]:
This is going to be tough. He's not going to crack, bro. He's much more stubborn than you.

Eldar [00:36:06]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:36:06]:
It's a tough day for you.

Eldar [00:36:07]:
It's going to be a tough day for you. You've been warned.

Eldar [00:36:11]:
Yeah.

LT [00:36:12]:
What is something that you like to do?

Mike [00:36:13]:
Hiking.

Oleg C [00:36:17]:
Before I would keep not starting a podcast, actually, I had great.

LT [00:36:22]:
No, what is something that you like to do that you do now?

Oleg C [00:36:24]:
That I do now?

Eldar [00:36:25]:
Yeah.

LT [00:36:25]:
That you love to do. And you do it every day.

Phillip [00:36:29]:
You don't like to give simple answers.

Eldar [00:36:30]:
Would OCD type things be okay to say?

Eldar [00:36:33]:
Sure. Yeah.

Oleg C [00:36:33]:
But you don't love those.

Eldar [00:36:35]:
Those are like, if you move like.

Oleg C [00:36:37]:
One piece, that's like asking basketball.

Eldar [00:36:40]:
Yeah.

LT [00:36:40]:
What is something you like play basketball every day? I try to play every day.

Eldar [00:36:43]:
Okay.

Oleg C [00:36:44]:
I don't know what I do every day that I love to.

Eldar [00:36:46]:
Okay.

LT [00:36:47]:
Mike said you like to hike.

Eldar [00:36:49]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:36:49]:
I think you like to hike.

LT [00:36:50]:
You like to that. Do you do it because there's a passion for it?

Oleg C [00:36:55]:
Yeah, I mean, I enjoy it.

Eldar [00:36:57]:
You enjoy it?

LT [00:36:57]:
So there's a passion. There's a little bit of passion, yeah. Right now, are you disciplined enough to keep doing it?

Oleg C [00:37:07]:
Sometimes it takes discipline for me to get there and actually be on the hike and go.

Eldar [00:37:11]:
He doesn't like.

Oleg C [00:37:12]:
Sometimes it's a drive.

Eldar [00:37:14]:
Let me introduce one more variable.

Oleg C [00:37:15]:
Sometimes it's a drive. Sometimes I'm not feeling well.

Eldar [00:37:18]:
How about this? Let me introduce one variable. Do you like to go hiking by yourself?

Eldar [00:37:23]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:37:23]:
That's a great one.

Eldar [00:37:24]:
That's a very good question.

Eldar [00:37:25]:
That's a very good question.

Oleg C [00:37:26]:
I have trouble doing things, especially hiking.

Eldar [00:37:29]:
The gig is up.

Oleg C [00:37:30]:
By myself.

Mike [00:37:31]:
The gig is up.

LT [00:37:32]:
You don't like to do it by yourself?

Phillip [00:37:33]:
I don't like to.

Mike [00:37:33]:
He doesn't like hiking.

Eldar [00:37:35]:
See, that's the thing. He's a social butterfly that likes company, that likes to talk, bounces ideas back and forth from people and enjoy the byproduct of nature. Breathing fresh air, green and stuff like that. And maybe views and stuff like that. But what he actually likes is to socialize.

Eldar [00:37:51]:
Correct. That's number one. Right.

Eldar [00:37:53]:
Therefore, sometimes hiking comes hard for him. Therefore he has to use discipline in order to get there. But if he had company all the time, which he'll speak about in a second.

Eldar [00:38:03]:
Right.

Eldar [00:38:03]:
It's like this.

Phillip [00:38:04]:
There you go.

Mike [00:38:05]:
It's going back. I don't know if you were here, but we had a conversation like this with Tolly. I think you were here about walks. Were you here for that?

Phillip [00:38:12]:
We're talking about walks and then we're.

Mike [00:38:14]:
Also talking about Tolly, about Toli saying that he likes taking walks. And I said, no, you don't like walking.

Eldar [00:38:19]:
You like talking. You're making us listen to your shit.

Mike [00:38:22]:
While you, while we're walking.

Oleg C [00:38:24]:
I love how I feel when I'm hiking, though, even by myself. So sometimes out of discipline, I do go by myself and I don't regret it.

Mike [00:38:31]:
Well, yeah, that's another element.

Phillip [00:38:33]:
That's like a byproduct, though.

Phillip [00:38:35]:
But it's not enough to get you to do it.

Phillip [00:38:36]:
And it's always hard, the walking.

Phillip [00:38:40]:
To me too, I do like walking.

Phillip [00:38:42]:
But why do I like walking?

Phillip [00:38:44]:
Do I like just to have to.

Phillip [00:38:46]:
Get out of my natural environment and just go somewhere?

Phillip [00:38:48]:
It's almost like a mini vacation.

Phillip [00:38:49]:
Do I like going with Mike and having conversations? I do like all this stuff, but I understand there is exercise to it. But again, it's like the gym thing. If you don't like to go to the gym, let's talk about finding out different ways of getting the benefit of exercise. If you can do this with friends or you can find a different way to do it, that's what we're saying. I haven't put any thought into this.

Phillip [00:39:11]:
Until people start to point it out in me. So I think it's a very difficult thing, again, to discover by yourself.

Phillip [00:39:17]:
But when people point it out, I.

Phillip [00:39:18]:
Still have a problem with it because I think it's normal to have a belief system and then have resistance when somebody's calling it out. I don't think it'd be normal if.

Phillip [00:39:29]:
I had a belief system.

Phillip [00:39:30]:
I just said like, oh, yeah, you can't do that to me, then I have no attachment to. I did have an attachment. Most people, it seems like you have some type of prior thought process about.

Phillip [00:39:41]:
Discipline, then I don't think it's going to be like an easy thing to.

Phillip [00:39:46]:
Maybe understand or even accept because it's going to go directly against your belief system. So I think it's normal to want to defend it. And it's not like, okay, we're all right. But to me, we all got to a point of just saying we need to self evaluate these things. And just like Mike was saying, are you asking yourself, you really like this? Or is somebody else telling you that you have to do this thing? Like, how true is it to you? And it seems like hiking wouldn't be something true to you because they're saying that you're a social butterfly guy.

Phillip [00:40:12]:
So to me, if you're going on a hike in nature, you're separating yourself so much farther from people.

Phillip [00:40:19]:
That's almost like the opposite of what I would say would be a good thing for you to do.

Phillip [00:40:23]:
In terms of how I'd rather hike.

Oleg C [00:40:24]:
Than be at a party, for example, by myself.

Eldar [00:40:26]:
I'd rather hike.

Phillip [00:40:27]:
That's interesting.

Mike [00:40:28]:
Would you rather be a party with people or hiking by yourself?

Oleg C [00:40:31]:
Yeah, hiking by myself. I mean, because I don't drink.

Eldar [00:40:36]:
Okay. Yeah, because there's party particular people.

Phillip [00:40:39]:
What about sitting at a restaurant? Say if we were all at a restaurant right now, we're all talking.

Oleg C [00:40:43]:
You would enjoy this much more after hiking.

Phillip [00:40:48]:
I don't understand. There's a disconnect.

Eldar [00:40:51]:
There's supposed to be one.

Eldar [00:40:52]:
Okay.

Oleg C [00:40:52]:
No, I understand that the value system also once are different. Yeah, I'm not disagreeing. I'm not like, yo, this is bullshit. I'm interested what you are saying or what you guys believe in, but I'm kind of a person who questions shit, I don't know.

Eldar [00:41:07]:
That's good, right?

Oleg C [00:41:08]:
Yeah, but don't get me wrong, it does get in the way. Huge thing of being like, I guess, coachable or learning new concepts because I constantly question and or mock everything, even in my brain or whatever, and it becomes hard to because I'm always like, what? That doesn't make sense. But then it seems like anything worth believing is you're able to poke holes in it and it stays solid 100%.

Eldar [00:41:35]:
It has to make sense and click for you. If it doesn't click for you, then you can't adopt it to be yours. And then obviously use it and harness the energy from it to make you happier, make you better. You know what I'm saying? So if it's serving you, if it's a good part of your life, then you should continue doing it.

Oleg C [00:41:52]:
Well, for example, the gym. I don't think in your way of thinking anybody likes the gym because pretty much like when I used to be able to lift and I loved it when I was doing it. Did I go love it for itself.

Mike [00:42:06]:
Or for the byproduct of it?

Oleg C [00:42:08]:
No, but it was the byproduct. But also I like coming there was always hard and then the first, like, at first it was hard, but then once you're warmed up and you have music in your ears and you're like, pumping iron or whatever, and it just felt like it was like a high, and I enjoyed that, and it was cool because you couldn't do other bullshit while you're doing that, which. That makes it an escape, I guess. So maybe you're not so passionate about, but I think anyone like you even talk to the biggest lifting junkie. Nobody likes. When you first arrive at the gym and start just like.

Phillip [00:42:46]:
I don't believe that. Because I look at bodybuilding, I was.

Phillip [00:42:50]:
Really into it in college, and I.

Phillip [00:42:52]:
Was like, yo, I got into every element of it was like the muscle.

Phillip [00:42:56]:
Milk, the protein, the look, and the lifestyle. But I liked it for all stuff that wasn't really about the process of working out. It was like the lifestyle, but it carried me to a certain degree. But these bodybuilders that you're talking about, I would say that these people, when they go to the gym, that's like their home.

Phillip [00:43:14]:
I don't think that they would invest all this time and all this energy to say, I think they actually enjoy.

Phillip [00:43:20]:
The pump and the process and the form and educating themselves on it. I would say that the other example would be, say, like a Muhammad Ali. He's a boxer. He said he would force himself to train just so then he can box.

Phillip [00:43:33]:
But he wanted to be the greatest.

Phillip [00:43:34]:
And I'm sure he liked the process.

Phillip [00:43:35]:
Of boxing, but he didn't like working out. But he knew he had to work out and then in order to do this thing. Yeah, there's discipline.

Phillip [00:43:44]:
In that example.

Phillip [00:43:45]:
I think that when your life is.

Eldar [00:43:48]:
On the line, I think that there are certain things that you kind of have to do.

Eldar [00:43:51]:
Right?

Phillip [00:43:51]:
Yeah. But I would say, like, what did he enjoy, though? He really, truly enjoyed boxing.

Eldar [00:43:56]:
Most of these fighters that I watch on UFC, they say this. I don't like doing this. All the training preparations, weight cutting, this is normal. I love getting the cage and actually fighting.

Eldar [00:44:05]:
So. Exactly.

Eldar [00:44:06]:
You know what I'm saying?

Phillip [00:44:06]:
But what I'm saying is, in the.

Oleg C [00:44:07]:
Bodybuilder, it takes them there.

Phillip [00:44:09]:
The end product, to me, I don't know. Maybe it's the show, the showcase. I don't think that in this case, maybe bodybuild is a unique example, but I think that these guys in the gym, that's their field, that's their cage. You know what I'm saying? When these guys talk, these UFC fighters, I hear them talk, too, and they want to just punch. They want to just get hit, and they like the act of actual fighting. To me, working out is just something that you have to do, but working out is not a job unless you're a bodybuilder and that's your actual job. Even athletes, if you play football, most of these guys don't want to go to the gym, but they realize if they squat and they go to the.

Phillip [00:44:46]:
Gym, they're going to be faster.

Phillip [00:44:47]:
If they're faster, they can perform better on the field, which is when they feel at home.

Mike [00:44:53]:
I think there's two big variables here, but I'm going to let lt say something first.

Oleg C [00:44:57]:
I'm going to let you finish.

LT [00:44:59]:
I think the question remains, is what comes first? Is it discipline or is it passion?

Eldar [00:45:05]:
Yeah, right.

Eldar [00:45:07]:
Well, no, because I think that, because.

LT [00:45:10]:
He'S saying that you have a passion for. Let's go back to UFC. You have the passion to be in that ring.

Eldar [00:45:17]:
Basketball. It's easier to fine me.

LT [00:45:19]:
All right, fine. Both of us, we love basketball.

Eldar [00:45:23]:
That's right.

Eldar [00:45:23]:
Right.

LT [00:45:23]:
We can be in the gym.

Eldar [00:45:24]:
We fall in when we were little kids.

Eldar [00:45:25]:
Exactly. That's right.

LT [00:45:26]:
We can be in the gym four or 5 hours, we won't even know where the time went.

Eldar [00:45:29]:
My dad didn't tell me, like, you have to do 500 shots. I do them naturally.

LT [00:45:32]:
You do it naturally because I want to.

Phillip [00:45:34]:
Exactly.

LT [00:45:34]:
It's your passion. Passion. But now, let's say, for example, if.

Eldar [00:45:38]:
You don't have passion, I think discipline is required.

LT [00:45:41]:
Exactly.

Eldar [00:45:42]:
That's right. I agree with that 100%. That's the thing. But the challenge here is a lot of people don't know what their passions are, right. And don't take the time to actually find out what it is. And that's why they're trying to apply discipline in many different areas. And ultimately what they're doing is stripping themselves away from happiness, I think you.

Eldar [00:45:59]:
Know what I mean.

Eldar [00:45:59]:
That's my challenge here. If they found out what they actually wanted to do, it would be more natural for them to apply themselves towards that craft. But that's the hard part, is to find out what the fuck do you actually like to do? You might like to fucking mean, what is it called?

Oleg C [00:46:14]:
I think, lt started on what Philip was saying, but then you guys missed that layer of they like being in the cage and all that. But it takes discipline for them to be also training or one guy who likes stand up fighting. Right. He has to do groundwork. That's discipline.

Eldar [00:46:33]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:46:33]:
That's part of a job that you've discovered. That's part of the job that you don't like, but you have to do. That's also a choice.

Eldar [00:46:40]:
Right.

Eldar [00:46:40]:
At the end of the day, we choose that which we want to do in this particular thing, that if you want to win, right. And you are a striker, but you don't have grappling. If you're facing a guy like Khabib.

Eldar [00:46:51]:
You got a problem.

Eldar [00:46:52]:
So now you're forced, right. If you have enough attachments towards winning, you are forced now to then go into a different department and study something that you don't like or doesn't come naturally to you. That's part of the gig.

Oleg C [00:47:05]:
That's also along, like, the lines I think of the topic. What if you have a passion? A lot of people, they have a passion. When it becomes a job, they start disliking.

Eldar [00:47:13]:
That's right.

Oleg C [00:47:13]:
Because then you have to do it.

Eldar [00:47:14]:
On off days, and a lot of people go through that.

LT [00:47:16]:
And then it goes back to what you said, your happiness. You got to find the happiness in it.

Eldar [00:47:21]:
Right.

LT [00:47:21]:
So even though we may not be disciplined, we'll still go play basketball.

Eldar [00:47:25]:
That's right.

LT [00:47:26]:
Because it makes us happy.

Eldar [00:47:27]:
That's right. Right. Yeah.

Phillip [00:47:28]:
So I think a route for that UFC C fighter, if he's saying, hey, I don't have this attachment to winning. I don't want to be a champion. I just like fighting.

Phillip [00:47:35]:
Maybe you open up your own facility.

Phillip [00:47:36]:
And you start teaching people, and you.

Phillip [00:47:37]:
Say, like, I just want to help.

Phillip [00:47:39]:
Other people just fight, and I just.

Phillip [00:47:40]:
Want to focus on fighting. I don't care about winning a title and doing all this stuff. That, to me, is exploring what we're talking about. If I don't want to instill discipline in my day to day routine so I can learn grappling, then maybe I am not meant to be in this ring.

Eldar [00:47:53]:
Maybe I'm not meant to be a champion.

Phillip [00:47:54]:
Maybe I'm meant to be a champion.

Eldar [00:47:55]:
For a champion to what?

Oleg C [00:47:56]:
If you don't like teaching either.

Phillip [00:48:00]:
That'S an example. You can go, like a thousand different routes, right?

Phillip [00:48:02]:
Like, maybe you write a book about it. Maybe you found out you like writing. But the point is, if you realize that you don't want to be the champion and that you need discipline in order to do it, on what level are you going to compromise your happiness in order to get what you want? And I think most people are not.

Phillip [00:48:18]:
Asking themselves these questions.

Oleg C [00:48:20]:
I think you have to compromise either way, because if you just want to fight, no one's going to pay you just to be fighting. You know what I mean? Or there's not going to be matches set up unless you're doing street fights or whatever. Because if you don't want to write a book? You're like, fuck writing. That sucks. Teaching, I don't want to teach anybody. I don't want to learn fucking grappling. I'm just a striker and I love boxing or whatever, kickboxing. I don't want to exercise, what is it called? Train and whatever, to get myself conditioned where I can be a champion.

Oleg C [00:48:52]:
So the person's left not really doing his.

Eldar [00:48:57]:
No, the person is left with challenge to then set the right expectations for himself.

Eldar [00:49:04]:
Right?

Eldar [00:49:04]:
Because if they're saying, hey, I'm a striker, right, but I want to be a champion. But you better believe that there's a grappler that's going to put you down and submit you, you know what I mean? Don't fucking make unrealistic expectations saying that you're going to be a champion, bro. You're going to be maybe top ten, but don't fucking go up there because those guys over there, they grapple. So then you're challenging yourself to see like, what's actually realistic, bro, you know what I mean? And the sport and obviously the cream of the crop will always go on top and life will teach you, or that match will humble you to tell you like, hey, calm down with that. You're not top ten. You don't know how to grapple. Those guys that know how to do everything, they have it all, you know what I'm saying?

Mike [00:49:45]:
But even for a passion, I don't think genuine passion, there has to be a thing where you have to be the best of the best, correct?

Eldar [00:49:52]:
I agree with that. Now that's a very, you can be.

Mike [00:49:54]:
The worst gardener in the world, but if you are passionate about it, you're going to go garden.

Eldar [00:49:58]:
That's it.

Mike [00:49:58]:
And I think that's where it's not required.

Eldar [00:50:00]:
That's why genuine, that's when we talk about happiness. Don't attach yourself to the fucking, to the outcome, right? And the outcome is the championship, for example, and those guys grapple.

Eldar [00:50:08]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:50:08]:
The outcome in working out just going for a walk is, I feel great afterwards, which we were saying, you go after a hike, I'm going for a walk. I do feel great. So then I keep asking myself like, why don't I go to the gym? Because I feel great after I'm done. It's like I don't like the process.

Phillip [00:50:21]:
So I don't think enough people are.

Mike [00:50:23]:
Asking them, but I don't think it's.

Oleg C [00:50:26]:
A lot of people feel good in there as well and they still have to discipline.

Mike [00:50:30]:
If you go to a gym workout. I don't think it's possible for you not to feel good because it's just naturally a chemical thing that happens within our bodies, outside of us wanting it or not, right?

Oleg C [00:50:39]:
Sometimes.

Mike [00:50:40]:
But my thing is with your example, and I think for a lot of kids, a lot of young kids, about the gym, right, when you get into age, when it's like working out is cool, your friends are doing it, you want to get some girls vanity things, you want to look a certain way. So now your reason is not rooted in actually your own thing. You're living out somebody else's dream that you think is going to make you happy. So you already fucked up by starting on this journey, doing something that you don't like, right? And then on the back end, you're also doing it for certain results, which are probably. You're setting certain expectations that are unattainable.

Eldar [00:51:14]:
Imagine you don't get those results.

Mike [00:51:16]:
And yeah, imagine you don't get the results. But depression also, those results, they're not going to make you happy. Because even before the happiness of the working out and going to the gym, you already sold out your individuality to be somebody that you think that you have to be that you saw.

Eldar [00:51:31]:
Like, you're a figure skater, bro. Yeah, not a gym, a hauling, bro. Figure skating, man.

Mike [00:51:36]:
Exactly. And that's the way I see it as a full cycle of.

Phillip [00:51:40]:
But that makes sense.

Mike [00:51:40]:
But if you say, hey, you know what? Let me see. If I really like basketball, why do I like it? Do I like it so that I can show off or I can shit on people because I'm good? Or my goal is to become good so I could look down on people? Or is it. I really love basketball for what it is. I could shoot by myself, if that's what it is, to practice my shot, to be more creative, to dribble more, because these things I like to do, it's my own creative, individual expression. Not because somebody told me, especially when you're young, you try to fit in.

Phillip [00:52:11]:
But that's what I'm referring to, the process.

Phillip [00:52:12]:
Like in that example with basketball, to.

Phillip [00:52:14]:
Me, the process would be like the actual game itself.

Phillip [00:52:18]:
Like dribling, shooting, like doing all those things. I'm enjoying just that part without attaching it to anything else. When I said process, I was saying what you were saying.

Mike [00:52:26]:
But the thing is, a lot of people, they're engaging the way that people engage in things. They don't just engage it just for the thing, because I guess the way people are programmed or just.

Eldar [00:52:37]:
I don't know.

Mike [00:52:38]:
Yeah, I guess it's the way we became programmed is that we're not doing things just to do them. We're doing them for an expectation, for an outcome, versus. Just like the peaceful warrior. I'm sure you remember the whole scene. He's like, hey, tomorrow. I don't know. Anybody seen it.

Eldar [00:52:56]:
Besides, I think I've seen it.

Oleg C [00:52:59]:
Is that where he gets injured?

Eldar [00:53:01]:
That's right.

Phillip [00:53:01]:
Acrobat or something.

Phillip [00:53:02]:
He's a gymnast.

Mike [00:53:02]:
So the peaceful warrior, there's this very good scene where he's like, hey, tomorrow I want to show you a really great place.

Eldar [00:53:08]:
Right?

Mike [00:53:09]:
I want to show you something really great. And they go on, like, this really long hike. Three hour hike.

Eldar [00:53:13]:
No, I'll show you something.

Mike [00:53:14]:
Show you something.

Eldar [00:53:14]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:53:16]:
They go on this really great hike. And he's like, yo, I'm loving this. I have so much. We're having such good conversations. The nature is beautiful. I'm excited. And then they go to him. They get to the place.

Mike [00:53:28]:
He's like, yo, we've been walking for 3 hours.

Eldar [00:53:31]:
Show me something.

Mike [00:53:31]:
You're going to show me something? And he goes, oh, yeah, this rock right here.

Eldar [00:53:36]:
He's like, wait, you came all the.

Mike [00:53:37]:
Way here to show me?

Eldar [00:53:38]:
Show me this rock.

Eldar [00:53:39]:
Thousand rocks.

Mike [00:53:40]:
There's 1000 rocks. Yeah. What the fuck? He's like, it's not about the destination. It's about the journey and focusing on what's actually doing for the thing itself. Like the. Playing basketball for basketball. Not to be the best team, not to be the best player and to show off, because those things, well, they're egotistical probably in the first place. And I don't think they contribute to your happiness, because there will be always somebody better than you.

Mike [00:54:05]:
Always somebody.

Eldar [00:54:06]:
Nobody's going to be better than us royalty.

Mike [00:54:08]:
No.

Eldar [00:54:10]:
We go play basketball for the ego, for talking shit. And if anybody wants to play us two on two, let me know this is true. Call me, bro.

LT [00:54:17]:
I'm ready.

Oleg C [00:54:17]:
Give the phone.

Eldar [00:54:21]:
What?

Oleg C [00:54:22]:
Send me a location.

Mike [00:54:23]:
That's right.

Eldar [00:54:24]:
Send me a location. I want to dust you.

Mike [00:54:27]:
Yeah. So that's what I think. I think a lot of it. People are doing a lot of things, just joking, unexamined things because of a certain destination that they want to go to. Whether it's to become rich, they follow a job, whether it's, I don't know, to have a good job, to please their parents or to show off in front of a girl or a guy, whatever. People doing a lot of things that they probably don't really give a fuck about. They're only doing it to seek approval from others. And what you need to do to get to those levels, you need to apply discipline because you don't actually want that shit that bad.

Mike [00:55:01]:
So what do you got to do? You got to slap yourself in the head to go do it.

Eldar [00:55:03]:
That's right.

Oleg C [00:55:04]:
I think we can break down most passions into little psychological manipulations. Why they're doing it, right?

Mike [00:55:12]:
Well, that's what I'm saying.

Oleg C [00:55:13]:
Like you could say when you were.

Mike [00:55:15]:
Five years old, your dad planted this seed for you and you have not.

Oleg C [00:55:18]:
That's easy shit. But I think most people, especially in this day and age where it's like all over social media, people know what the fuck they want to do. A lot of people. And they know if they're doing what they want or they don't. But even that stuff that they actually want to do, they're passionate about it, still has, like, drivers that are very basic. You know what I mean? You want to perform, okay, maybe this person just fucking an attention whore and needs to get that addressed. Oh, you want to drive fast.

Mike [00:55:45]:
So if you want to do stupid things, which is seeking attention, then you should be doing stupid things like using discipline. That's the way I see it.

Phillip [00:55:55]:
See, but these people, in this example, I don't think most people know actually what their passion is. I think people are just in this cycle of unhappiness, thinking that they then need more discipline. They need more action to get all these things because they're not getting the results, like you said. Imagine these people who are putting discipline in place, not being the champion, not doing all this. You must feel like the biggest piece of shit because ultimately you're not achieving what you think that you want, but.

Phillip [00:56:19]:
Ultimately you don't want it.

Phillip [00:56:20]:
So I think it goes back to the original example of this topic.

Phillip [00:56:25]:
How do people actually know that they don't like something? They do like something. I think it's actually really difficult unless somebody actually points it out and says, like, we're saying to like, yeah, we think you have a passion for cooking. And he's, it's like, no, Mike, we saw, like, you're like, you actually really enjoy the process. And he's like, no, I don't.

Eldar [00:56:45]:
But he doesn't even eat.

Phillip [00:56:46]:
And he doesn't eat. He brought the couch cushions out and all this stuff, and he wanted to serve.

Eldar [00:56:52]:
He had all the energy out of nowhere.

Phillip [00:56:53]:
All the energy out of nowhere. So the point is there's people that are doing things that they think that they want to do, but they're not. Then there's also things that they're doing, and they don't associate that with passion.

Eldar [00:57:03]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:57:03]:
I don't know for me personally how I would find this out, unless you guys are pointing things out to me, because I don't know on my own.

Eldar [00:57:11]:
How I would figure, shout out to.

Phillip [00:57:12]:
Alderism, how I'd be truly passionate about something.

Oleg C [00:57:15]:
Yes, I completely agree with that.

Eldar [00:57:17]:
For sure.

Oleg C [00:57:18]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:57:20]:
What?

Eldar [00:57:21]:
Do you have trouble with what I'm saying? But no, the thing is, huge problem with discipline. He just hasn't admitted that to himself.

Oleg C [00:57:37]:
No, but I don't.

Eldar [00:57:37]:
You know what I'm saying? Because of the fact that he actually can't use discipline. Discipline has not been serving him. That's why he is the way he is, because he's too smart for discipline. He's a thinker. Correct.

Oleg C [00:57:52]:
I think kind of like it's a spectrum, and I think it's kind of like arguing. I don't know, like left versus right or whatever. It's kind of silly. I think even what you're saying, it sounds like more of like a need for balance rather than that discipline is bullshit and you need all passion because.

Eldar [00:58:15]:
Hold on.

Eldar [00:58:15]:
Let me just try to explain its purpose here.

Oleg C [00:58:18]:
Let me explain because I haven't thought of a clear way to explain it, but I'm going to try. So you're talking about people who know Mike is talking about this guy whose parents pressured him to be, whatever, a doctor, right. Or all these. And this person is just getting by almost like sheerly undisciplined, like a feeling of duty, discipline. My family, this and that. Expectations, right? These very. Not values, but almost like traps, like a cage. But then it seems like what you're talking about is moving somebody away from that and pointing them to these paths of least resistance because it's more natural.

Eldar [00:59:08]:
Correct.

Phillip [00:59:09]:
Let me give you example.

Oleg C [00:59:10]:
They gravitate towards passion, but you still need discipline applied just to move you forward.

Eldar [00:59:16]:
Let me give you an example.

Eldar [00:59:17]:
Right?

Eldar [00:59:17]:
I want to give you an example with your personal thing. So maybe it can resonate. We can both understand each other, right?

Eldar [00:59:22]:
Sure.

Eldar [00:59:22]:
You like hiking, right? You say like, yo, this thing is.

Eldar [00:59:24]:
Big for you, right?

Oleg C [00:59:26]:
Yeah, I like hiking.

Eldar [00:59:27]:
Right.

Eldar [00:59:27]:
But you love hiking when somebody else comes with you, right? Especially good company, right? The person that you like, person that you vibe with.

Mike [00:59:35]:
Whatever.

Oleg C [00:59:38]:
One of the reasons I enjoy someone with me also is I enjoy demonstrating this experience to them.

Eldar [00:59:44]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:59:44]:
So that's why I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you said this, right? Because that's my point was to this, going forward, if you call the people that you invite hiking and you say, instead of saying, hey, can we go hiking? Would you like to go hiking? You say, hey, what did you say? I'd like to show you this experience, right? Say it.

Oleg C [01:00:10]:
I'd like to show you this experience.

Eldar [01:00:11]:
Right?

Eldar [01:00:12]:
Show you this experience. Share this experience or show you. Correct. What experience are we talking about here?

Eldar [01:00:18]:
Right.

Eldar [01:00:18]:
If you can put that into words, I'm going to tell you right now, you're going to have a lot more of a success rate with people saying yes to you, and you're going to be a lot more motivated to go with them, which is going to come a lot more naturally, and everything else around you will fall off. Give it a try. Test it out.

Eldar [01:00:35]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:00:35]:
I guess you've never see where you land.

Mike [01:00:36]:
You've never called it for what it is. You called it hiking, but it's not. Hiking is just like a byproduct.

Eldar [01:00:41]:
He just said it himself. He gave it away. He said, yo, I want to share this or show you this experience. What is that? If that lands on my ear, part of it. If that lands on my ear, it's part of it.

Oleg C [01:00:52]:
No, I also just.

Mike [01:00:53]:
If somebody calls me for hiking, I'm down.

Eldar [01:00:56]:
But that's the other part, the main part is the substance that you're talking about.

Eldar [01:01:01]:
Right?

Eldar [01:01:01]:
You want a connection and you want a sharing experience.

Oleg C [01:01:05]:
No, I don't disagree with all these mechanisms you guys are talking about. I'm more like, I'm talking about the present where it's like discipline is bullshit.

Eldar [01:01:13]:
I'm explaining to you that if you call things for what they are, see them for what they are and engage them for what they actually are, discipline is not necessary or needed at all. That's the key.

Eldar [01:01:26]:
You understand?

Eldar [01:01:27]:
This is what he's trying to say to you. If you came across that way, like you just said, it's going to be a lot more natural.

Oleg C [01:01:33]:
Is this still part of discipline or.

Eldar [01:01:35]:
No?

Oleg C [01:01:35]:
So you see things for what they are. So now you're more smoothly going over the stuff you have to do to get that done, but it doesn't really bother you. But you're not maybe passionate like, I don't know, you're passionate about, I don't know, say, like kissing Catherine in the morning, but you're not passionate about brushing your teeth. But since you're so passionate about that, brushing your teeth doesn't bother you, but you're not like looking forward to that shit. You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:02:01]:
It becomes a non thing. I do it, but I don't remember if I did it or not. Therefore, there's no discipline involved.

Eldar [01:02:09]:
You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:02:10]:
It's just like waking up. Yeah, it's like waking up.

Mike [01:02:12]:
You don't have to have that conversation with breath.

Eldar [01:02:14]:
You don't know.

Mike [01:02:14]:
You took a fight yourself.

Eldar [01:02:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:02:16]:
You're not fighting yourself. Like fuck, do I discipline myself? Go to the gym. Correct.

Eldar [01:02:18]:
Or not have it, you just do it.

Oleg C [01:02:21]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:02:22]:
I think that's a much better tool than.

Eldar [01:02:25]:
And we're not saying that this is like the holy grail shit, that it's.

Eldar [01:02:29]:
Hard to fucking do.

Eldar [01:02:31]:
This thing is hard to do. But if you tap into it, I think there's a lot of energy for each individual to harvest for themselves, to be happy, to be able to do shit, more shit that you actually like for what it is, and do more of it to be more happy. That's what he's saying.

Oleg C [01:02:46]:
It seems to me to be more of an arrow, of a compass that if you follow, you'll be closer to what you want than an exact location you can get to.

Eldar [01:02:55]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:02:58]:
Okay. If anybody understood.

Eldar [01:02:59]:
Define.

Oleg C [01:03:01]:
You're saying discipline complex to make your whole life like that. It's complex because like something you follow where you can get. It's like if you're always dividing by two, right? You never quite get to zero, but you can get as close as possible. So this seems like it could get you closer.

Katherine [01:03:19]:
It seems really difficult to kind of restructure your life and everything that you do. But I think that once you start doing it with small things, even small little things, saying yes to the things that you actually want to do and saying no to the things that you don't want to do, it takes time, but you can get there.

Eldar [01:03:36]:
But it does sound like you're carrying.

Mike [01:03:39]:
A big bag of things with you every single day. We all have this that we think about, that we have to do, responsibilities and especially our thoughts. You're always carrying those thoughts. Everybody's constantly within our head. But once you. Those thoughts, they're connected with future kind of ideas, beliefs, actions, dreams, right? When you evaluate those things, then you.

Eldar [01:04:04]:
Can remove survival, that word very big.

Mike [01:04:09]:
Then you can, I guess, remove. I think the goal is to remove.

Eldar [01:04:14]:
Those things that are actually meaningless, that.

Mike [01:04:17]:
You at some point thought they're meaningful, that you're still living out those things, but you have not examined them. But once you examine them, you're like, yo, I don't need to carry this back as back, give me five things and I'm fucking moving in that apartment.

Eldar [01:04:28]:
I don't give a fuck what's in there, how is it located or whatever? Because I'm not moving into the apartment. I'm moving closer to the things that I actually want to do. You understand? So you're no longer seeing like, you're seeing it for what it is. Now you're calling it for what it is. So you stop seeing the fact that the location might be a little bit off. You don't have a side entrance for the groceries and stuff like that. Those things starts to be removed. You know what I mean?

Oleg C [01:04:49]:
If those are removed, why would you even need to move?

Eldar [01:04:53]:
Well, you want to set the proximity.

Mike [01:04:55]:
Proximity to the things that you like, right?

Eldar [01:04:58]:
You have something inherently that you want to move.

Oleg C [01:05:03]:
If all the obstacles are removed, you could live 2 hours away.

Mike [01:05:07]:
Remove the things that. The thing is, you have a lot of things that you think serve you, but they don't serve you. Things that you value, but when you get to the bottom of it, they're not actually belong to you. But once you start removing those things, you have an attachment that you want to live close to Fairlon because you want to be next to your favorite bagel shop. That's not a fucking tremendous thing. But if you say, hey, I want to be close to my mom, that's probably a better reason. That could be a better reason because you're more rooted. You can help her.

Mike [01:05:37]:
You can help each other. You spend more time together. That's a thing that's valuable, that has value there. But if you're saying, like, hey, I want to move here, and this is my criteria, it has to have two bedrooms, two baths, fucking elevator.

Eldar [01:05:55]:
You're putting weight, but it has to.

Mike [01:05:56]:
Have an elevator, you're putting the weight on things that are not that they don't matter, but if you start examining them, they probably don't matter to you and they don't actually contribute to your happiness.

Oleg C [01:06:07]:
So for me, I see most of the things that I require as not.

Eldar [01:06:11]:
Mattering, but it's almost like I don't.

Oleg C [01:06:15]:
Have time to work on this. So for me, this is a need for now kind of. You know what I mean?

Mike [01:06:19]:
But the thing is, what you're saying is you don't have time to work on it is there's no way around it. There's like an expression like, the only way is through the fire. You have to face those things. And once and for all say, I don't need this shit. The thing is, the most important state is the state of mind in your head, and that is not affected by things that you think are affecting it. And once you start realizing, like, hey, this thing right here, it's not valuable, fuck off. This thing right here, it's not valuable, fuck off. This thing is valuable.

Eldar [01:06:53]:
Check.

Mike [01:06:53]:
I'll take it. For me, the most valuable thing is I want to be safe, I want to be clean, and I want to be affordable. Those are three things that I'm going to look for in apartment, right. And proximity to Fairlawn. That's it. Everything else, like having two bedrooms, okay, yeah, I'll be nice, but I don't give a fuck. Having a big kitchen, for example, just throwing random things out there. Those things, at the end of the day, they're not as important as we think they are.

Mike [01:07:22]:
We tricked ourselves, and we just said, okay, yeah, it's like you just, like, identify with them.

Oleg C [01:07:30]:
For this hypothetical, what if you move and then those things are now upsetting you, bothering?

Mike [01:07:36]:
Well, the thing is, before you make a decision like that, you have to really think about them and put it maybe on paper if it's easier.

Eldar [01:07:43]:
Because if it's, you got to commit. You got to commit to yourself.

Mike [01:07:46]:
You got to sit down and say, okay, I'm ready to unpack my suitcase of junk that I've been carrying. Do I need this? If I do okay, why do I need this? Is this inherently true about me? Where did I add this belief system, as this is what's necessary for my life to be fulfilling?

Eldar [01:08:04]:
Right?

Mike [01:08:06]:
Where did I make an affirmation that this is important to me? And now examine it? And then once you start examining those things in that category, you're like, oh, actually, I also do this thing in here. Let me remove this as well, because I don't believe it served me any longer. So I think that's the process of elimination. Because throughout life, we're just going around and we're picking up tools that we think we may need for our journey. But most of those tools we're never going to use, but we're still carrying them, and we're constantly thinking about them.

Oleg C [01:08:35]:
So let's say you get to this apartment, right? Kitchen is small, and every day it bothers you. Be like, oh, fuck. It's something I decide I don't need, but it's still bothering you. So you have a little bit fight with it every day, but at the same time, you're like, shit, I don't got laundry in my apartment. That's a bitch. And then it's like, well, why do I need laundry? Oh, and you need, I don't know, let's say clean clothes. Why do you need clean clothes?

Mike [01:08:55]:
Because you want to look.

Eldar [01:08:57]:
But if you're going value.

Eldar [01:08:58]:
Right.

Eldar [01:08:59]:
But how you go into it.

Mike [01:09:00]:
If you're going into this interaction a.

Eldar [01:09:02]:
With a certain, already with a dirty.

Mike [01:09:04]:
Eye, with a dirty attitude, you have to be like, yo, I'm going to leave my laundry attachment at my old place. I'm going to leave my kitchen attachment at my old place. You're going to break those things down and see the truth that you actually don't need them.

Eldar [01:09:17]:
I want to cut you off. When you go into seeing the place, you start highlighting the things that are good and they outweigh the things that might be bad, and you hang on to those and those carry you through.

Eldar [01:09:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:09:29]:
And that becomes your optimistic view, right viewpoint, and you being more light about it, rather than being naggy to yourself or whatever or bad to yourself and negative self talk, where it's like, I fucked up here, I fucked up there. You know what I'm saying? Where you're constantly doubting yourself and fighting yourself, I think that the mindset that you go into it and then seeing it and like, okay, this is great, this is great, this is great, this is great. And you're proud of that because it's yours. And I think that type of an attitude is a lot better than, what am I missing?

Eldar [01:10:00]:
Why is this not here?

LT [01:10:01]:
I want to go back to what you said about not having the time, right. Of looking.

Oleg C [01:10:08]:
Not having time. I was trying to translate something from Russian, like ninja Dieto. I don't know how you like.

Mike [01:10:14]:
He doesn't want to think. He want to be bothered by it.

Oleg C [01:10:16]:
It's kind of like time energy.

LT [01:10:18]:
So that means it's mental resources. That means it's unimportant to you.

Eldar [01:10:22]:
There you go. That's how it's passion.

Eldar [01:10:25]:
Yeah.

LT [01:10:25]:
So it's unimportant to you, right. That let's say you do decide to find the time, right. You're going to try to find something that you're settling for, right. So a small kitchen. Right. Not having laundry.

Eldar [01:10:41]:
Right.

LT [01:10:42]:
You're settling for those now, right?

Oleg C [01:10:44]:
Absolutely.

LT [01:10:45]:
You have to find the time for things that are important to you. For example, going to discipline priorities, to.

Oleg C [01:10:52]:
Basketball would be the word, probably. Priorities. You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:10:56]:
Yes.

Oleg C [01:10:56]:
For example, you're driving to a busy. You got to make this. I don't know, fucking interview. So you can get your dream job and you're eating healthy, right? You're on whatever fucking paleo or whatever organic stuff and you're starving to think clearly you need to eat. You're going to stop by that wendy's because right now you don't have the whatever energy times, whatever that thing that I said, it's not a priority at the moment. I think the priority, for example, for me, since we're using this example, is like to move, right? And if I start like, okay, focusing on, let me fix laundry, this. It's simpler just to do the action and then from there start figuring, moving on with, correct.

LT [01:11:46]:
Is it a priority to you? Is the question.

Mike [01:11:48]:
See, the thing is, yeah, you're coming into it saying like, hey, whatever the negatives or the positive are, I just need to move. But then you're going to come in that place and you're going to be still unhappy because you didn't properly address the expectations that you should have, like, going into the situation.

Eldar [01:12:03]:
We can't even get excited about the shit.

Oleg C [01:12:06]:
I think you get excited about it when you have, let's say, a good budget and it's fitting to what you want. Just like say an example of whether you're buying or moving something or whatever, or you're buying a car. You're like, shit, do I get this or do I get the number one or number two? Both of which I love.

Eldar [01:12:25]:
That's awesome.

Oleg C [01:12:26]:
But when you're like shopping, inflated prices, low inventory post corona, plus you are trying to be careful with the budget.

Eldar [01:12:33]:
The perfect storm that you usually like.

Oleg C [01:12:35]:
Yeah, perfect storm. So then you're like, yeah, you're basically absolutely sad. It's literally like you're sacrificing a great situation besides location, basically.

Eldar [01:12:49]:
For location. Yeah.

Phillip [01:12:51]:
So in these examples, right. Is being honest with yourself and unpacking these certain things.

Eldar [01:13:00]:
Right.

Phillip [01:13:01]:
Because obviously there's a disconnect between having this apartment and being able to choose. So to me it comes down to being able to be that person for yourself. To say this isn't of value to me, I think that's really difficult for me. We're saying I had the aha moment with discipline, but I'm still struggling with a lot of this stuff. Even though it clicked. I'm still saying that I'm having a difficult time deciphering what makes me happy, what I really value. So I think in this example, having the attachment to discipline still, and then also maybe not having the skill of being able to be honest with yourself. And say, hey, maybe I don't really like this.

Phillip [01:13:41]:
I think that's a really difficult thing for me to come to conclusion of with, without having a mic or you guys to say like, no, this is why, and have a conversation about it. If I just wrote these things down, I went to the apartment and I was trying to figure it out, and I'm in my people pleaser mode. I'm saying to myself, oh, maybe I want this so I can have a girl over. Maybe I have people over, and then all of a sudden, for 99% of.

Phillip [01:14:03]:
The time, I'm going to be by myself.

Phillip [01:14:05]:
And maybe I should just really value.

Phillip [01:14:07]:
A shower because I like baths. But I didn't even think of this because I'm thinking about other stuff.

Eldar [01:14:11]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:14:11]:
But how do you come to this conclusion for yourself? And I think that's a lot of the things where they are rooted in, am I doing this for other people? Am I doing it to myself? And I think it comes down to.

Phillip [01:14:22]:
Being honest with yourself. But it's still, we're the biggest to.

Oleg C [01:14:25]:
Ourselves statistics, because you just hit on something I really thought about. Sometimes it comes into my head, I have to be in a location where, let's say, if some of my friends come to visit their parents and Farrell and my brother and his wife come, they're going to be willing to stop by my place, not say it's out of the way. I'm not saying I do that, but it does come in my head a lot. Sure, that could be a value, but the way you're talking about it sounds more like statistics. Like, yeah, 99% of the time, no one's going to be coming. Who cares?

Mike [01:14:57]:
That's weighing. Like, okay, I'll give you the example I was thinking about. Let's say you really want a laundry unit in your apartment, right? But you do laundry, let's say, once every two weeks.

Eldar [01:15:07]:
Yeah. Right.

Mike [01:15:09]:
So you found the laundry unit. That's a unit that doesn't have a laundry, but it's five minutes away from your job. So your commute every single day, five days a week, is five minutes. But you have laundry. Pros and rights.

Eldar [01:15:20]:
Okay?

Mike [01:15:20]:
Now, you have a unit that does have a laundry, but it's 30 minutes away.

Eldar [01:15:24]:
Okay?

Mike [01:15:25]:
You understand? Like, you weigh out. Like, hey, I have to drive five days a week, 30 extra minutes each way, versus having laundry once every two weeks. You have to weigh which one is valuable to you and which one is not.

Oleg C [01:15:36]:
Either of those things. Like, lt, I think, said you would be settling, though.

Mike [01:15:41]:
Yeah, I mean, then maybe you just need to become a billionaire and not settle.

Phillip [01:15:46]:
And in my 99% example, I'm saying that based off of living in my place, right. And having that, most of the time.

Phillip [01:15:54]:
I am just kind of on my own by myself. So this is not something that I thought about, but an example would be saying something where I want to entertain.

Phillip [01:16:02]:
And do these things where from my house I like to just have my bed hang out and then I go to work and do all my things. So location is nice for me. It's quiet, all those things.

Phillip [01:16:11]:
Now I realize that I actually do value. I like that it's quiet. I like that it's not super loud at night. It's in a nice area and there is a comfort level there. So for me to say, hey, I want more space so I can entertain and maybe have a pet, to me, that would probably be lying to myself and looking at it now, off of living here for years, I probably only.

Phillip [01:16:31]:
Had people over there. Seldom have I had a good time. Yeah, but I'd rather go out with people outside and connect with people outside. I like my home. For me now I realize moving forward, if I did get more space, it would be maybe if I had a relationship or something. So I realized that this space is good enough for me. We like to bullshit ourselves and we bullshit ourselves.

Eldar [01:16:48]:
We like to bullshit ourselves. We like to paint little pictures that don't actually exist. And we like to insert ourselves and say, oh, we're that person. I'm going to be this fucking griller now.

Phillip [01:16:56]:
Yeah, I'm going to cook.

Eldar [01:16:57]:
I fucking got myself a jacuzzi that I use once a year maybe.

Phillip [01:17:01]:
There you go.

Eldar [01:17:01]:
I could feel like an idiot.

Phillip [01:17:02]:
There you go.

Eldar [01:17:02]:
You know what I'm saying? I feel like an idiot. I got myself a his and her sink. I got booted from my sink. Now I don't even have a sink.

Oleg C [01:17:10]:
Yeah, I never got the his and her sink thing.

Eldar [01:17:12]:
You know what I'm saying? It's ridiculous, stupid stuff that then at the end of the day, the gig is up on them. You know what I mean? They don't actually serve us. They actually take away from us. I got to clean the stupid ass jacuzzi, add chemicals to it. I do it and I don't use it.

Oleg C [01:17:26]:
But elder, I'm an idiot when you do.

Eldar [01:17:28]:
Fucking idiot.

Oleg C [01:17:29]:
When you do use a hot tub, do you feel like it's worth it?

Mike [01:17:32]:
I'd rather not have it for that minute. You feel it. But at the end of the day.

Oleg C [01:17:36]:
Maybe you've had some really great weight right now. Maybe it's been twice a year, but you've loved.

Eldar [01:17:40]:
The gig is hands.

LT [01:17:41]:
That's so crazy.

Eldar [01:17:42]:
The gig is up.

Eldar [01:17:43]:
I'm an idiot.

LT [01:17:44]:
He said that because I've been thinking about getting a jacuzzi. And I'm like, am I going to fall into that category?

Eldar [01:17:49]:
Come use ours with your family once a year.

Oleg C [01:17:52]:
My question is, why don't you outside, bro?

Eldar [01:17:54]:
I have all this shit to do. You know what I mean? Bowls over there every night. We go every night. Part of it is fucking idea.

LT [01:18:04]:
That's another reason why I'm like, there's no reason for me to get it.

Eldar [01:18:07]:
I'm an idiot.

LT [01:18:08]:
Think about lifetime.

Eldar [01:18:09]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:18:09]:
The thing is, I don't got to clean it. Yeah, no maintenance, bro.

Eldar [01:18:14]:
Clean it every time. You use it every week. Check levels and shit. I have to learn that.

LT [01:18:19]:
Every time I forget, the level is probably higher.

Oleg C [01:18:23]:
What ends up happening, practically, statistically, is that pretty much how you see what your values are.

Mike [01:18:29]:
But that example shows that he does not know himself. And you, by making these things that you want, like, you want a laundry machine, that could be something that you don't know yourself. But you imagine yourself as this laundry guy, as this cooking guy, as this fucking whatever, hiking guy. We all have things that we think we value, and we think that's part of us. But once you get to know yourself, you buy a fucking jacuzzi, and three years, four years later, you fucking use the four times. You get to know that you're an idiot.

Eldar [01:18:55]:
What?

Oleg C [01:18:55]:
If you're the guy who bought the jacuzzi, you've used it twice a year for two years. So four times, whatever those four times was like, fuck, this is the perfect thing.

Eldar [01:19:05]:
We all probably take all that money and take us on vacation. That's so much more banging than that one jacuzzi for.

Phillip [01:19:12]:
No, I would argue if it was that awesome, you wouldn't only be doing it two times.

Eldar [01:19:16]:
That's right. I'd be doing it all the time.

Katherine [01:19:21]:
Remember when we did the pavers?

Eldar [01:19:22]:
We had to rely concrete on the knee.

Mike [01:19:29]:
This is a lot of money, Philip. And it takes the space.

Eldar [01:19:32]:
I'm an idiot.

Oleg C [01:19:33]:
You never had your backyard, too.

Eldar [01:19:36]:
Ask me about gardening now. Ask me about gardening. I buy a bunch of plants, I plant them all. I go to them. I visit them every day. I take care of them. I enjoy them. I love them.

Eldar [01:19:47]:
You know what I'm saying? And they serve me. And I serve them.

Oleg C [01:19:50]:
You've never had something which you either bought or signed up for or whatever. Signed on for that. You didn't use a lot, but when you needed it, you were so happy.

Eldar [01:20:00]:
You had that shit.

Oleg C [01:20:02]:
For example, in that moment when we.

Eldar [01:20:05]:
Lay down and it's snowing and jacuzzi, like, yo, this is mad nice.

Eldar [01:20:08]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:20:08]:
Yeah, for that.

Phillip [01:20:09]:
I think what you just described is.

Phillip [01:20:11]:
Like, having an insurance policy or something.

Oleg C [01:20:13]:
Yeah, something like that.

Phillip [01:20:14]:
When you say you have an accident, you're like, oh, thank God I have insurance. But when you're just driving your car.

Eldar [01:20:19]:
You'Re not, like, not planning for a fucking accident.

Phillip [01:20:21]:
Oh, yeah, my insurance policy, like, oh.

Eldar [01:20:23]:
Yeah, I love month.

Oleg C [01:20:26]:
For example, I have a couple Airbnb houses, right? I bought myself tools and I bought dewalt tools because I was like, well, whatever, I'll just get the shit my brother has. And this is the best shit. I'm not a very Handy guy, but there's been a bunch of times where I'm there and either I'm there and I have to figure it out, or even someone else comes, they don't have the tool, but it saved me. But I barely use these things. These things are made for, like, fucking professional construction.

Eldar [01:20:50]:
All that.

Eldar [01:20:51]:
And they cost.

Mike [01:20:52]:
What kind of tools using besides a screwdriver, a screw gun and a wrench set, like, for everyday kind of thing.

Oleg C [01:20:57]:
Ratchet set, screw gun with a lot of attachments.

Eldar [01:21:00]:
Drill?

Mike [01:21:01]:
Yeah, those are basic things. That's like three or four things you mentioned.

Oleg C [01:21:05]:
There's, like, plumbing stuff. Oh, electrical shit. I had to run like a thermostat wire and shit.

Mike [01:21:12]:
That's all basic stuff that could be.

Eldar [01:21:14]:
Done with, like, going back to your Jacuzzi thing.

Oleg C [01:21:17]:
What don't you like about it?

Eldar [01:21:18]:
I hate maintenance.

Mike [01:21:20]:
He's not a maintenance person that wants to.

LT [01:21:23]:
Leading up to it.

Eldar [01:21:25]:
Leading up to it, yeah. Now I'm looking for a person I'm going to hire for them to come and take care of my jacuzzi.

LT [01:21:31]:
And then you will use it more then.

Eldar [01:21:33]:
Maybe. But then I don't like the fact that you have to go into the house and then I get shit wet.

Eldar [01:21:37]:
You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [01:21:38]:
I got to clean after that.

Katherine [01:21:39]:
For me, it's a.

LT [01:21:39]:
It's a convenience, dragging that water in.

Katherine [01:21:41]:
Around, like, the whole house. And then I have to clean up. It just, like, eliminates everything. Whereas if you use it at the.

Eldar [01:21:47]:
Gym, at the gym, that's it. In and out.

Eldar [01:21:49]:
Boom, boom.

Eldar [01:21:50]:
I do it all the time. Anything I could do?

LT [01:21:52]:
Jacuzzi, go in, go to the gym.

Eldar [01:21:54]:
We do Jacuzzi every night.

Eldar [01:21:56]:
It's easy.

Eldar [01:21:56]:
There's no discipline involved.

Oleg C [01:21:57]:
Like hanging out with your friends kids or with your friends.

Eldar [01:22:00]:
There's no discipline involved.

Oleg C [01:22:02]:
Kids.

LT [01:22:02]:
Yes, there's work involved. Using it at home.

Eldar [01:22:04]:
That's right.

Oleg C [01:22:05]:
Doing that all the time.

LT [01:22:07]:
No, I'm not going to do it.

Eldar [01:22:08]:
No, you should do it and then eat the same.

Oleg C [01:22:10]:
Mike. I think it's a good example with this lifetime.

Phillip [01:22:15]:
I think this is a good example for this. So me and Mike were driving around and I like Alpine. Alpine is really beautiful houses. You can go in and out of all these little areas off of nine w pip, whatever. And I'm driving around and I'm saying to Mike, like, oh, I like this house. I like this house.

Oleg C [01:22:28]:
And he agreed with me, talking about the town, alpine.

Phillip [01:22:32]:
There's these little developments. So we're driving up and down these houses and I'm going to Mike and I'm saying, like, I like this. I like this. He even took his phone out and was looking at the greenery and all that stuff. He was sending it to Eldar. We were really into it. But I'm saying to myself, or we were talking and I'm saying, yeah, I.

Phillip [01:22:50]:
Don'T have this thing, but I feel like I should have this thing. And then Mike's asking me, why do you want this? Like, what do you want about it? And what we came to, the conclusion.

Phillip [01:22:58]:
Is that I have the idea of.

Eldar [01:23:01]:
You didn't have a good answer.

Phillip [01:23:01]:
Yeah, I didn't have a good answer. But the point was he was saying.

Phillip [01:23:06]:
You want this house, you want this thing, why do you want this oversized place? And it's like an idea of maybe I thought the person that I would be like, how would look at me, right? But then his thing was he's saying that he values his house because he can be close to his friends and he can be close to people that he actually cares about. And that really resonated with me because.

Phillip [01:23:27]:
I'm like, that is something that makes sense to me.

Phillip [01:23:29]:
That would be a reason to follow through on something opposed to just having say, like, oh, a big house so I can have my own pool. I think we're talking about that then in my head you guys are talking about the gym example. So I'm putting myself in a position where I think I have to make all this money to get this big house so I can have my own pool, where I can just join a gym, join a beautiful gym for maybe 100, 200, whatever dollars a month, get the pool and then have an apartment. And then live closer to my friends. Shit out of it and use the.

Eldar [01:23:54]:
Shit out of it.

Eldar [01:23:55]:
Use the shit out of it. I pay $200. It's expensive. Gym. I use the shit out of the gym.

Phillip [01:23:59]:
But think of this philosophy, though.

Oleg C [01:24:00]:
I pay $50 a month for a gym I haven't used in two years.

Mike [01:24:03]:
Exactly.

Eldar [01:24:03]:
You know why?

Oleg C [01:24:04]:
Because it went up to $100 and I'm getting a deal. I'm paying half price.

Eldar [01:24:07]:
But think of me example.

Oleg C [01:24:09]:
Yeah.

LT [01:24:11]:
Are you using it because it's $200?

Eldar [01:24:14]:
No, they raise the prices. Some people do, though, pay, bro.

LT [01:24:19]:
Yeah, me too.

Phillip [01:24:22]:
But again, this example goes to, like, me driving through this thing and having.

Phillip [01:24:26]:
Another person point it out in me and actually examine it when I'm driving through. I would have drove through this neighborhood probably for another 20 years. The same thing.

Oleg C [01:24:35]:
You're a window shopper. I hate window shopping.

Katherine [01:24:39]:
Wait a minute.

Eldar [01:24:40]:
Why?

Phillip [01:24:41]:
Yeah, why have to say it out.

Katherine [01:24:42]:
Loud like, oh, shit, it's been maybe.

Mike [01:24:45]:
Vanity or again, somebody put you on something that you think this is the way you want to live. This is the way you imagine your lifestyle through somebody else's eyes. You never said, hey, I want to see the world and my vision through my eyes. My thing for me, like you said, my thing is being close to my friends is super valuable because we see each other all the time.

Eldar [01:25:04]:
Friendship is a shelter.

Mike [01:25:05]:
Friendship is a sheltering tree.

Oleg C [01:25:08]:
Why don't you pitch a tent in elder's yard and fucking sell that expensive ass house and that overpriced Tesla?

Eldar [01:25:16]:
What's he talking about?

Oleg C [01:25:19]:
All right, next.

Phillip [01:25:23]:
In Russia, that's like a sexual thing.

Mike [01:25:24]:
In America, pitching a tent is like sauce thing.

Eldar [01:25:27]:
What?

Oleg C [01:25:27]:
What does that mean?

Phillip [01:25:30]:
Like a boner.

Mike [01:25:31]:
It's like a boner.

Eldar [01:25:33]:
You never heard of that? When you get the massage?

Oleg C [01:25:35]:
I'm a Christian, bro.

Eldar [01:25:36]:
I don't know what you got to turn you around. And they're like, yo, what the hell are you pitching a tent out down there? You started him, you must finish him.

Oleg C [01:25:41]:
No, I used to always think, oh, that is like a tent. But I didn't know that was a.

Eldar [01:25:45]:
There you go.

Oleg C [01:25:51]:
Yeah, it's more of a yurt than a tent, I would say.

Phillip [01:25:54]:
How the hell do we get happy.

Eldar [01:25:56]:
When we're all right? So there you go, going back to happiness on your own, right? I think the more you discover about yourself or who you actually are, the more you're going to be able to apply yourself, hopefully, into the world out there, not just here when you're with us. You know what I mean, and that is the goal, obviously, right? That's going to take some time, some practice, and some discovery of yourself and ultimately finding out what is it that you actually like? What is it that you actually like to do for fun and do more of it.

Oleg C [01:26:25]:
Well, what is the key component when they're around? Is it these people?

Phillip [01:26:29]:
I just genuinely like communicating and connecting with people.

Oleg C [01:26:32]:
Okay, can you do it with other people? That's not them.

Eldar [01:26:35]:
No.

Eldar [01:26:35]:
The problem is with other people, he's able to do this now and be himself. He hasn't been doing that with other people. So he needs to start to relearn how to be himself and not be a people pleaser anymore.

Oleg C [01:26:46]:
I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts and they talk shop a lot and I love it. And pretty much all of them talk about this thing. They're like, I went to this party, I went to this thing right away. I had to find the comedians or I went to this thing. I couldn't wait to get home or go fucking to this shitty job. But I knew there would be comedians there because they're like, I'm ruined by this. I can no longer be with these normies. But I wonder, somebody like that, they can't just go around converting people because they're going to just, no, they should say these things.

Oleg C [01:27:16]:
And people, what the fuck is wrong with you? I experience a lot of that. There's a lot of people I don't have a hang out with because I can't just.

Eldar [01:27:24]:
You don't have the power to convert them to your own oligism.

Eldar [01:27:27]:
That's it.

Oleg C [01:27:28]:
So, Philip, it sounds like you're able.

Eldar [01:27:30]:
To, what is it?

Oleg C [01:27:31]:
Reflect yourself and these people or be yourself.

Phillip [01:27:34]:
Be myself more around this. And I think it's more difficult in my experiences. It's maybe anticipating rejection, thinking about it just out loud now, anticipating rejection or creating this defense. If you're going to anticipate rejection and you don't like the feeling of rejection, which most people don't, putting on a people pleaser type Persona where if they do reject you and that person, your people pleasing self gets rejected, it doesn't truly hurt. You can say, oh, man, it doesn't feel good. But if I'm my true self and I get rejected, that's going to hit a lot deeper. So me putting this thing on, not knowing that I'm doing this at the time when I'm people pleasing, I'm going through life like pretty much running amok, talking to people. But I'm not making the real connections that I want.

Phillip [01:28:18]:
So I'm not meeting the real people, so I'm not saying anything. So when I'm saying I like connection. Before, if you remember, we were talking.

Phillip [01:28:24]:
I needed breaks after doing this.

Phillip [01:28:26]:
Now I'm saying I'm connecting with people, being my genuine self and I don't.

Phillip [01:28:30]:
Need breaks because you're comfortable, because other.

Oleg C [01:28:33]:
Time you're basically holding it apart during the date.

Phillip [01:28:37]:
But I didn't know I was doing this, and I didn't know I was doing this until I was in a group that allowed me to be myself. And then we started to just have these conversations, uncomfortable ones about discipline to begin with and all these other things, asking me what I really like, peppermint me, having resistance to it, but ultimately saying, hey, we came to the conclusion, if I'm open and vulnerable about these things, I don't have to know what they are. We can just kind of say that.

Phillip [01:28:59]:
If it's rooted in truth and I'm.

Phillip [01:29:01]:
Being open and honest, that I can trust that eventually I'm going to figure it out and that at the very least I'm going to be happy with.

Phillip [01:29:08]:
That person of who I am, how.

Phillip [01:29:11]:
I basically conduct myself now I feel.

Phillip [01:29:14]:
More free and I'm not thinking about it. So again, going back to discipline or whatever it is, thinking like, oh, I have to wake up at a certain.

Phillip [01:29:20]:
Time or I have to do this to do work. Now I'm like, I have a nice car that I have now.

Phillip [01:29:26]:
I actually like to drive to work. I actually like to come in the office.

Eldar [01:29:29]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:29:29]:
So I like everything now.

Oleg C [01:29:31]:
Full kool aid, I guess.

Eldar [01:29:39]:
So.

Phillip [01:29:39]:
The point was this. I never used to like cars and driving. Driving a Tesla, to me, is an enjoyable experience.

Eldar [01:29:44]:
Correct.

Phillip [01:29:44]:
That's fun. Now, driving back and forth to work is enjoyable. Coming into the office, we're going for walks, we're enjoying conversations, we're making money, we're having business, we're drinking juice. I'm going food shopping. We're having collaborative experiences, creative experiences, wholesome experiences. We're talking about life. And in my typical business experience professionally, I would talk to people about pretty surface level stuff. You're a guy in an office, you're pretty much talking about money or sports or like girls and boobs, whatever, it's fine.

Phillip [01:30:15]:
But I'm not genuinely connecting. We're talking about life and asking myself, why am I making certain decisions? These guys are asking me, why are you doing certain things? And it's getting me to think about myself differently. So now I'm realizing that I do value connection, and when I get it the right way, when it's valued or rooted in truth, I don't need breaks from it.

Phillip [01:30:36]:
So that was a big realization, and.

Phillip [01:30:38]:
I wouldn't have came to that conclusion.

Phillip [01:30:39]:
On my own unless I had it.

Phillip [01:30:41]:
Pointed out by somebody else.

Oleg C [01:30:42]:
I think I asked you this in the beginning. None of these jobs or anything you ever had, like a work buddy or anything that you could have that with?

Phillip [01:30:52]:
Sure.

Phillip [01:30:53]:
I would say I had it more with my close friends. Maybe from time to time, maybe in the beginning I work with my friends.

Phillip [01:31:01]:
But for the most part, I wouldn't have, I guess, like a real, true friend that I would be working with. So the people that I were working with, the conversations, again, were more surface level sports or just business.

Mike [01:31:11]:
Most people, most friendships, I think it's an agreement with two people. Like, hey, I'm not going to call you out for your bullshit. You don't call me out for my bullshit, and we'll just be friends. I think that's like a thing that's.

Oleg C [01:31:24]:
Part of that is in the movies, and I'm just crazy because I try to pursue that in real life. I thought, in real life, that's not true, but I guess it is. Everyone just seems to be like. It's like a set. It's just like, how's the Toyota? But think this is good, but that's exactly what's happening.

Mike [01:31:47]:
People are afraid to have honest, don't.

Eldar [01:31:49]:
They?

Mike [01:31:50]:
Don't think it's acceptable.

Eldar [01:31:51]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:31:51]:
So I would say that most of.

Phillip [01:31:53]:
The professional relationships that most people have, that I observe also seeing corporate America, seeing mom and pop business, whatever it may be, they're. Most of these conversations like, oh, how the kids, like, you generally want to.

Phillip [01:32:04]:
Know how my kids are doing or.

Phillip [01:32:06]:
How my parents are doing. Do you genuinely want to know this? Or do you think that you have.

Phillip [01:32:09]:
To do this based off of societal.

Phillip [01:32:11]:
Norms of being a people pleaser?

Eldar [01:32:13]:
Imagine every time they ask you that question, it's like, okay, you actually have an hour right now because I want to show you all the whole album of it.

Oleg C [01:32:18]:
Yeah, exactly. You know what I realized? But when these conversations actually do happen, like, maybe you're at a party, you're talking to your friends, and one of them asks how, and then he starts giving you philosophical stuff, and you're going deep. It's when people are consuming a lot of alcohol all of a sudden. Some are real, 100%.

Eldar [01:32:36]:
Of course.

Oleg C [01:32:36]:
That's why you see work parties and people get drunk. And all of a sudden they have a good time, but sober like nothing.

Phillip [01:32:43]:
Because these conversations that we're having now, we're all allowing ourselves to be open.

Phillip [01:32:47]:
And vulnerable in a setting where we're.

Phillip [01:32:49]:
Drinking tea, we're eating fucking ice cream and pizza.

Eldar [01:32:51]:
We're not dare say the brand of this drink because this fucking tea is so good.

LT [01:32:57]:
I kind of wanted to say it. I ain't going to say.

Phillip [01:33:01]:
It after awful.

Eldar [01:33:02]:
Tell them what kind of tea we're fucking drinking.

Phillip [01:33:04]:
But I don't think most people are having these type of conversations, especially in a professional setting. But like a personal setting, I think most people are separating themselves. At least I was. I had a work personality. I had in a relationship personality, a family personality, friend personality.

Eldar [01:33:19]:
You said split personality difference.

Phillip [01:33:21]:
Split personality splits.

Mike [01:33:23]:
Yeah, that's actually very interesting.

Eldar [01:33:26]:
That is exactly the sickness. This is what we're doing very good. And because we don't have the congruence of our own self throughout the whole day, we have suffering, you understand? Because we don't fucking. Actually, we know who we are. Because we're constantly juggling this fucking stress in our mind to say like, oh, I got to be this way in.

Mike [01:33:44]:
Front of this people.

Eldar [01:33:44]:
You know what I mean?

Phillip [01:33:45]:
So what is that rooted in? That's rooting in getting everybody else to be happy and not asking yourself, what the fuck do I actually want?

Eldar [01:33:52]:
But it could be also rooted in.

Oleg C [01:33:54]:
Looking good too, right? Trying to look good. I'm saying it's rooted in looking good too. Like you're trying.

Mike [01:33:59]:
Presenting an image. Yeah, image. Presenting an image.

Phillip [01:34:02]:
No, you have fear.

Eldar [01:34:02]:
What they.

Oleg C [01:34:03]:
Would you be ostracized or something like that?

Eldar [01:34:06]:
Yeah, that's the thing. But that's also connected to a belief system that you've bought in that somebody else's opinion of you being a human being. Your true self matters. It fucking doesn't. Every single human being in this room or everybody out there has something special about them. That's part of being fucking human. We are all special. There's nobody above, there's nobody lower than each other.

Eldar [01:34:26]:
You know what I'm saying? And that's the issue.

Oleg C [01:34:28]:
You know what's crazy? I'm listening to Phil say this stuff and I'm like, damn. So all these guys in the movie, they are real. It's like, oh, I'm a dad face. I'm this like me. I've never experienced that. Because I think. Not because I'm so cool or anything, but I've been more like, I guess, real. I can't fake it, but I realize even in my life, there's so many groups and situations, I feel uncomfortable because in those moments, maybe I'm not as professional doing it as Phil and I always wanted to be, but I still fake it.

Oleg C [01:35:01]:
I guess that's probably why I'm not comfortable at that wedding or at that hang out with friends that you haven't seen in a while and they all have kids and everyone's whatever.

Phillip [01:35:10]:
So what you're doing in that moment.

Phillip [01:35:13]:
Is prolonging the inevitable. You are basically allowing this situation at the wedding, or whatever it may be.

Phillip [01:35:19]:
To feel more comfortable. But essentially you're building into the habit.

Phillip [01:35:23]:
Of allowing your personality or whatever this hat is to then actually take shape. And then you can't even kick it anymore. So then you don't even realize that you're doing it. And then you become like the real.

Oleg C [01:35:33]:
Actor and the anxiety slip right into character, right?

Eldar [01:35:38]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:35:39]:
It's like instant. You do it habitually because this is what you have accepted, which Eldor is like. You're basically accepting.

Phillip [01:35:46]:
You're making a contract with yourself and saying, I am allowing myself this type of behavior in order to basically prevent.

Phillip [01:35:53]:
Rejection or make an uncomfortable situation. Sit in where these guys, you guys.

Phillip [01:35:58]:
Can have very uncomfortable conversations and stuff.

Phillip [01:36:01]:
And you can be okay with it.

Phillip [01:36:02]:
Like confrontation and things like that. These are things that I wasn't talking shit and all this I didn't think that I was.

Eldar [01:36:09]:
And then when he got the whiff of it, he's like, yo, this is a space. I like it now.

Phillip [01:36:14]:
I like it.

Eldar [01:36:15]:
Crazy jokes killing Tolly, you know what I mean? But we're loving it.

Phillip [01:36:18]:
But I liked it because I now.

Phillip [01:36:21]:
Understand that I'm coming from me where usually if you're a people pleaser and you're not yourself, when somebody comes at you, you're kind of nervous because you're not yourself. You got this layer and you don't even know how to be yourself.

Phillip [01:36:33]:
If I'm rooted in myself, I feel.

Phillip [01:36:35]:
A lot more comfortable speaking my mind and then not really caring what comes back.

Eldar [01:36:40]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:36:40]:
So I was like avoiding confrontation because I think it's really hard to basically confront somebody when you don't know what you're talking about.

Phillip [01:36:48]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:36:49]:
Like starting a new job we're talking about. Tolle can confront a lot of these customers on the phone because he has.

Phillip [01:36:54]:
Knowledge and experience on this.

Phillip [01:36:55]:
I just basically have to be a service guy in the beginning because I'm gaining knowledge. I don't know how to be a really good salesman yet, because I don't know all the ins and outs. To me, it's the same example of being true to yourself. If you're not going to be true to yourself, how am I going to be confident and confront somebody? It's just going to be like me talking out of my ass. And most people do this, right?

Phillip [01:37:16]:
Most people talk out of their ass.

Eldar [01:37:17]:
You also learned that about yourself, that you actually drown people out by talking even more and saying all these things just so you don't hear any type of rejection.

Mike [01:37:26]:
Exactly.

Eldar [01:37:26]:
You drown out the thoughts.

Eldar [01:37:28]:
Exactly.

Eldar [01:37:28]:
Their own thinking. Exactly.

Phillip [01:37:29]:
So you're doing all this not realizing you're doing it.

Phillip [01:37:33]:
And then I'm going back to saying.

Phillip [01:37:34]:
Oh, I do like to connect with.

Phillip [01:37:35]:
People, but I need a break. And why I need a break is because in these moments, I'm not genuinely connecting with people. I'm talking to people.

Phillip [01:37:41]:
Maybe I like their shirt. Maybe they look good. Maybe I thought they had a funny.

Phillip [01:37:45]:
Joke, but I'm not even truly taking it in as myself. And I'm saying, like, oh, damn, I'm done with people today.

Eldar [01:37:50]:
Yeah, I guess for what you're saying.

Mike [01:37:53]:
The way I just envisioned it, when you're going out with these people that you do need a break from is because you're acting, and acting is a job.

Eldar [01:38:00]:
Yes.

Mike [01:38:00]:
But when you're coming here and you're being yourself, you don't need to rest from anything because you're just being who you are.

Eldar [01:38:04]:
That's why he had the withdrawals, bro, when we left.

Eldar [01:38:06]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:38:06]:
And talking shit becomes more normal. It's something that I didn't think that I would do and I can just.

Eldar [01:38:11]:
And actually good at. You know what I'm saying? You actually are funny. I don't know if you ever thought about yourself as funny, but you are funny.

Phillip [01:38:16]:
Yeah, I don't think I'm funny.

Eldar [01:38:17]:
Interesting.

Phillip [01:38:17]:
I guess I don't associate myself with being funny, babe.

Eldar [01:38:20]:
You see that? But she comes home and she's like, y'all, Philip's funny.

Katherine [01:38:24]:
Philip is funny.

Eldar [01:38:25]:
You know what I mean? Because of the fact that you are yourself, you're comfortable, and the things that you come across.

Oleg C [01:38:31]:
How funny.

Eldar [01:38:32]:
He's very funny.

Oleg C [01:38:33]:
No, imagine just he pauses, looking at stone face.

Phillip [01:38:42]:
Yeah. I think, again, a lot of these.

Phillip [01:38:44]:
Things were almost impossible for me to come to the conclusion of understanding for myself unless I had other people to point them out. Because, again, there's these contracts that most people have in friends. Are you going out with strangers and being polite or just saying, hey, listen, you're not going to call me out on my shit. I'm not going to call you out in yours. Which you were saying, michael. And I agree. Most people have these relationships with friends, family and professional life. So even if you have a congruence, see, between all these different things, it's not rooted in truth.

Phillip [01:39:13]:
And this is where the anxiety is coming from.

Eldar [01:39:15]:
That's right.

Eldar [01:39:15]:
Except that one time when that guy gets really drunk at the wedding party and he says everything, right? He says everything that he's thinking in his mind. Like, yo, yeah, you guys got to.

Oleg C [01:39:25]:
Watch 4 July by Louis CK has.

Eldar [01:39:28]:
Exactly the glitch of the Matrix.

Phillip [01:39:29]:
Louis C K is my favorite comedian of all.

Oleg C [01:39:32]:
Mine too.

Phillip [01:39:33]:
Yeah, he's number one for me.

Oleg C [01:39:34]:
I recommended that movie to this group and this guy goes, oh, no, I don't support that kind of behavior. So I won't put any money in that pc shit. But I'm like, that's crazy. So you don't support Thomas Jefferson's behavior.

Phillip [01:39:46]:
Of slavery, so you won't support like.

Oleg C [01:39:47]:
The US constitution or whatever? What about Dali or so and all that?

Mike [01:39:55]:
It's what's hot right now. That's what is going to get pushed.

Oleg C [01:39:58]:
But no, 4 July, it has all the themes you're discussing. It's very interesting, but like passion and fucking playing a character and just one day just having enough and letting it all out, being yourself and shit. But I don't know. I rarely see you guys outside of your cult or whatever all the time.

Eldar [01:40:20]:
Baby, I want to say.

Phillip [01:40:22]:
Anything wrong?

Phillip [01:40:22]:
You're fucking weird.

Eldar [01:40:23]:
Bullshit. You keep it in house, you know what I'm saying?

Oleg C [01:40:27]:
Yeah, it's tight, but yeah, you guys are still more fucking.

Mike [01:40:35]:
We're bullied, reserved everywhere.

Oleg C [01:40:36]:
We buttoned up a little bit.

Mike [01:40:38]:
Are you crazy?

Phillip [01:40:39]:
You think that we're buttoned up?

Eldar [01:40:40]:
He's a stranger. He's the new friend of the group. You know what I'm saying? How do we act in groups? Chats? How we act with Ace, how we act with all the. We real with same shit.

Oleg C [01:40:50]:
Yeah, but he's by himself.

LT [01:40:52]:
What do you mean by myself?

Eldar [01:40:53]:
What do you mean?

Mike [01:40:53]:
Meaning like, oh, he's going to be the sign.

Oleg C [01:40:55]:
You're the minority.

Eldar [01:40:57]:
He's saying that we paid you. No, no.

Oleg C [01:41:03]:
Like, you're surrounded. You know what I mean? I'm saying that you go to Catherine's. I don't know.

Phillip [01:41:09]:
No, but he's saying it's another group.

Eldar [01:41:10]:
It's another group.

LT [01:41:11]:
It's another group.

Eldar [01:41:14]:
He's part of that group.

LT [01:41:15]:
I'm part of that group. He sees us, and I see it the same way.

Eldar [01:41:18]:
What is it? It's all trolling.

LT [01:41:20]:
There's no sugar coating.

Oleg C [01:41:21]:
No.

Eldar [01:41:21]:
What happened to Henny? You know what? No, he didn't leave the group.

Eldar [01:41:26]:
Sorry.

LT [01:41:26]:
He got kicked out of the.

Oleg C [01:41:27]:
Kicked out, bro, what kind of a group is it? It's just a basketball group.

Eldar [01:41:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:41:31]:
Okay.

Oleg C [01:41:31]:
I think basketball is more like guys talking shit.

Eldar [01:41:35]:
What do you want? You want me to go?

Oleg C [01:41:38]:
Let's say Catherine had people from work.

Eldar [01:41:41]:
And the boss for a long time. Catherine would say, yo, babe, my friends are coming.

Oleg C [01:41:45]:
Yeah. Can you just stay in the.

Phillip [01:41:47]:
That's a perfect example to say, like, he cannot not be himself.

Eldar [01:41:50]:
Yeah.

LT [01:41:50]:
He cannot not be.

Eldar [01:41:52]:
Yeah, she used to do that. Tell him.

Eldar [01:41:54]:
Tell him. Yeah.

Phillip [01:41:55]:
No, that's true.

Oleg C [01:41:57]:
I think Sergey told me that one time you guys went somewhere, and you were very polite and careful.

Eldar [01:42:03]:
I forgot.

Katherine [01:42:03]:
Really?

Eldar [01:42:29]:
Sergey?

Eldar [01:42:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:42:31]:
He's sometimes quiet, but he can turn it off, and that's why I like him.

Phillip [01:42:34]:
He made me laugh.

Phillip [01:42:35]:
But to me, just because you troll people and you're a certain type of way, I don't think that. That I'm pushing my agenda.

Eldar [01:42:44]:
Elderism on everybody every single time, even if they're not looking. Yeah, but I don't think that's my whole thing already. But I get that.

Phillip [01:42:51]:
But I'm also saying in the same breath, it doesn't mean that you can't be kind. I think you're a patient and kind person, 100%. I think the trolling thing is just kind of like a personality thing to.

Eldar [01:43:01]:
Just kind of, like hazing.

Phillip [01:43:02]:
Say exactly what you're feeling and doing it kind of in, like, a fun, unique way to your personality.

Oleg C [01:43:06]:
You're still aware of your audience.

Eldar [01:43:08]:
100%.

Oleg C [01:43:09]:
So that is acting in a way, right?

Eldar [01:43:11]:
No.

Eldar [01:43:12]:
I don't even know, actually, what is.

Oleg C [01:43:13]:
Our authentic self, because I talk shit, whatever. But I'm also kind, right?

Eldar [01:43:18]:
Yeah. No, you definitely have that.

Phillip [01:43:20]:
I think people are layered, right? I don't think we're just one dimensional.

Katherine [01:43:23]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:43:25]:
So when are you acting?

Phillip [01:43:26]:
I guess acting is when you're with.

Oleg C [01:43:28]:
Your friend and his two kids. Let's say, are you acting? What's up, little bitch?

Eldar [01:43:34]:
If you hold your tongue, if you actually know the truth, right? If you're observing those kids and those kids. Let's just say that one kid bit the other kid and his father didn't say something, and you're like, yo, that's wrong. And you know it's wrong. It's the truth. It's actually the truth. If you don't say nothing, you're acting.

Eldar [01:43:49]:
Oh, okay.

Oleg C [01:43:50]:
Yeah, so I act a lot. Okay, cool.

Eldar [01:43:53]:
You know what I'm saying? What's the matter with you?

Oleg C [01:43:56]:
No, people with kids are crazy. Their kids will be running around tearing shit up, and they're.

Eldar [01:44:01]:
Bro, I told my sister this, and the kid was doing something, and she's like, oh, we don't say that word around this. I'm like, okay, cool. I removed myself from situation. I said, yo, that's my niece. It is what it is. She doesn't want my advice. She doesn't want me to come across the way. I can't be here.

Eldar [01:44:15]:
You know what I mean? So I shut down. I don't fuck with the person no more, even though it's my sister.

Oleg C [01:44:19]:
I have a friend. You reminded me of this thing. We would go to a restaurant. He always says crazy shit to the waiters and shit. So me. And I'm not the only one, turns.

Eldar [01:44:27]:
Out other people, too. Oh, yeah.

Oleg C [01:44:29]:
You guys are pretty bad, too. You're very rude. But with him, he just says, like, crazy. I don't know.

Eldar [01:44:34]:
So I'm like, dude, just.

Oleg C [01:44:36]:
We're going like, don't say please today.

Eldar [01:44:38]:
Please.

Oleg C [01:44:39]:
Yeah. And I guess I'm not letting him be so authentic self, but also him. When he was working a lot on discovering himself and everything, he realized that there was certain tendencies he would say that would push people away.

Eldar [01:44:53]:
Okay.

Oleg C [01:44:54]:
And when he worked on himself more.

Phillip [01:44:55]:
He would still say stuff, but it.

Oleg C [01:44:59]:
Had a better effect. And even me around this guy.

Eldar [01:45:06]:
I.

Oleg C [01:45:06]:
Would kind of get in on it or whatever, because it became a different dynamic. So I don't know if I was stopping the person from being themselves, potentially.

Eldar [01:45:15]:
But it all depends on who has the truth. If that kid has the truth and is doing it consciously and at the end of the day, his intentions are right, then if you're stopping that, then that's a problem. But if he doesn't know his own intention and he's actually hurting somebody, and you're not saying something that's bad, not hurting, but just.

Oleg C [01:45:33]:
He would end up looking bad for himself. Yeah, I see what you're saying. If it comes from a place of just, like, a nervous laugh, for example, it's not a real laugh.

Eldar [01:45:43]:
Correct. Right, correct. Yeah, correct.

LT [01:45:46]:
So being new to this, being my first time here, you and natural, have we defined elderism? Have you guys defined it already?

Eldar [01:45:54]:
Well, my friend, our other friend, coined it.

LT [01:45:57]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:45:57]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:45:57]:
Because he has a big problem with this.

LT [01:45:59]:
Okay.

Eldar [01:45:59]:
Right. Because he's actually, I guess, how do you put it, Mike? He's like more of a loner, and he does things on his own, and he has his own way of thinking and stuff like that.

Mike [01:46:09]:
He has his own belief of the way this thing should be handled. It should be much.

Eldar [01:46:14]:
He actually has a problem. He's more sensitive. Maybe he has a problem with the way I come across, where it's a little bit straightforward. He's like, yo, chill out, man. Sometimes it's too much. You can't be doing that. That's the problem he's having. I'm raw, and I'll tell you how it is.

Eldar [01:46:27]:
Got it.

Eldar [01:46:28]:
He has a problem with that for a very long time.

Eldar [01:46:30]:
Right.

Eldar [01:46:30]:
He's like, if you just tweak your approach a little bit more compassionate and stuff, you'd be a lot better. A lot more people would gravitate towards you.

Oleg C [01:46:38]:
I think maybe I can add to his position.

LT [01:46:40]:
Well, that's not helping people find their true identity.

Eldar [01:46:43]:
Thank you.

LT [01:46:44]:
And I think that's what algorithm is.

Oleg C [01:46:45]:
I think that's a little bit.

Eldar [01:46:47]:
That's what I think. So we came to this conclusion. He deduced it real quick.

Mike [01:46:50]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:46:51]:
These people that are like this, that are asking for the sensitivity, they are so deep rooted in ego that you need to challenge this person's ego. And these people's egos are ugly. Most people's are. You need to get more direct. He needs somebody like that or somebody that has an honesty in them, because if you baby these people, it's going to allow them to stay in a state. You have to take them out of that state.

Oleg C [01:47:12]:
Let me try ugly.

Phillip [01:47:13]:
With ugly, you can't just kind of.

Phillip [01:47:15]:
Be like, oh, you know what? You're right. We're going to go this route and I'm going to listen to you.

Eldar [01:47:19]:
And also, this is not because I don't have history with the kid that I didn't show compassion and all that stuff. We did a lot of one on ones where I extended everything, opened the doors and helped with a lot of stuff.

Oleg C [01:47:29]:
Let me try to pair paraphrase Dennis. What he said was Eldar. The problem with eldarism, he said, is because a lot of know, he goes, let's say to Eldar for help, but then he goes somewhere else and discovers something, and then he brings it to the group of Eldar, Mike Tolley and I guess now Philip, the newest cultman eldarist. Yeah. This noob or whatever, they would just kind of laugh him off and laugh his thing off and not just say, like, well, this is how I see it. And I understand what you're saying with this thing and kind of, like, discuss it. It would be more like, your shit is bullshit. That's so fucking dumb.

LT [01:48:37]:
You're wasting your time because he couldn't relate.

Eldar [01:48:39]:
So, Lt, I think he's being unfair and he's taking away the fact that we gave the kid a lot of time.

Eldar [01:48:44]:
Got it.

Oleg C [01:48:45]:
No, I'm just saying his argument. I'm not saying this is how I see this is what he basically said.

Eldar [01:48:50]:
Yeah, but I don't think he'll believe that either. I don't think he'll say that or he'll say that.

Mike [01:48:54]:
This is how it actually, he knows that what is being said is the truth. He does not like the delivery.

Oleg C [01:49:00]:
Well, yeah, he also thinks it could be a better rapper.

Eldar [01:49:04]:
No, he's the one who edits the podcast.

Eldar [01:49:06]:
Okay.

LT [01:49:06]:
Got it.

Eldar [01:49:07]:
He's still around.

LT [01:49:10]:
Dennis Rock. I know.

Eldar [01:49:11]:
Yeah, but he fucks with us, which is fine.

LT [01:49:17]:
Got it.

Eldar [01:49:18]:
Which is fine with us. We love him. We care for him if he comes around. But some of the ideologies and things the way he does things, I don't fuck with that. And I'm going to tell you how it is, and you like it or not. He doesn't like it. He can't stand that, I guess. And we call it for what it is, and there's no vibe.

Phillip [01:49:34]:
But I think that sensitivity, again, coming from a people pleaser state, I think there is a sensitivity.

Eldar [01:49:42]:
I have a big problem with his level of sensitivity and people pleasing, like the way he does it. Oh, my God. No, but I can't stand that.

Phillip [01:49:47]:
But what I'm saying is when this.

Phillip [01:49:49]:
Person right now, right.

Phillip [01:49:50]:
And my examples, too, you are going.

Phillip [01:49:53]:
To be more sensitive because you are attached to this idea of whatever you think you have to do. And I think that's farther away from the truth also.

Phillip [01:50:01]:
That's away from your true identity.

Phillip [01:50:02]:
So you saying that I'm being vulnerable.

Phillip [01:50:05]:
I was also coming from that state.

Phillip [01:50:06]:
I had a lot of resistance, and I didn't feel good about it either. I would have definitely said, like, hey.

Phillip [01:50:10]:
Listen, eldar, can you tame it down a little bit?

Phillip [01:50:13]:
But I was ready to accept and say, like, hey, I've had enough pain of going through this cycle of not being myself. I want somebody to do this. I want somebody to take me out of my sensitive mindset and just give me the truth. I think most people, when they're not ready, would say, hey, listen, can you.

Phillip [01:50:29]:
Talk to me in a certain way.

Phillip [01:50:30]:
And then I'll get it.

Eldar [01:50:31]:
This is not for me. This is why I sent Catherine to therapy. That's why I sent her to therapy.

Katherine [01:50:36]:
You just said it. The same thing that Dennis has that sentiment that he delivered to elder all the time. Can you just chill? You said that a little bit differently, the delivery all the time.

Phillip [01:50:53]:
So just think, you might have not been ready to fully get it.

Oleg C [01:50:58]:
Wait, Philip. But let's say, right, doctors, right, they need to heal you. You have a fucking sore burn or whatever. They just come right in. That's going to just cause shock, fuck everything up. It's not going to get things accomplished.

Eldar [01:51:09]:
Right.

Oleg C [01:51:09]:
So sometimes if you have a more sensitive, careful, gentle approach, you can actually more effectively get in there.

Eldar [01:51:19]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:51:19]:
I don't know if something like a surgery that you need on the spot.

Phillip [01:51:24]:
Versus something that you can live with, most people live with this type of people pleasing or alternate personality. It's not something that I guess is urgent unless you want to be deep rooted in the truth. So I guess you can make the argument, if you do want to be deep rooted in truth, you're going to need the surgery right away. So if you do want to get better in this situation, I think you're going to need the surgery right away. And you can't go the sensitive.

Eldar [01:51:51]:
You can't say, hey, can you use this knife instead of another knife? Doctor, shut the fuck up. Late down.

Oleg C [01:51:58]:
I'm talking about from the point of view of the doctor. It doesn't have to be immediate.

Eldar [01:52:02]:
Taught me how to do my job.

Oleg C [01:52:03]:
To get around his defenses of sensitivity, that it grew, this huge defense.

Mike [01:52:09]:
No, I don't think you have to slip in. I don't think it's possible.

Oleg C [01:52:12]:
You got to put some value.

Mike [01:52:13]:
I'm going to say it's not possible, but I'm going to let lt say, what do you want to say first?

Eldar [01:52:18]:
Yeah, thank you.

LT [01:52:18]:
Philip came in open minded.

Eldar [01:52:20]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:52:20]:
But exactly. I was ready.

LT [01:52:22]:
You're ready?

Eldar [01:52:23]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:52:24]:
Three, four years ago, we were doing.

Phillip [01:52:26]:
These probably, it would have probably took me months to get to that point, but all of a sudden I heard it and I was like, okay, little resistance.

Eldar [01:52:33]:
I was very surprised the way you were taking this information and then fucking running with it and taking action, and I was like, holy shit. The turnaround time of planting the seeds with you sprouting right away with him, a lot of times it was three, four months, six months out. He's like, yo, elder, you were right about that. I did this wrong. I retried your method, and it worked.

Phillip [01:52:49]:
But I was doing that 2019 when.

Phillip [01:52:51]:
I first met these guys, I had more of that slower approach where I.

Phillip [01:52:54]:
Wanted somebody to be more sensitive to me. I wasn't ready to fully have all this. And then all of a sudden, maybe six, eight months later, I would come to the conclusion and be like, okay, yeah, okay, this is good.

Phillip [01:53:04]:
And it's still really hard to admit. So I understand somebody where, like, a dentist is coming from, because when you're.

Phillip [01:53:10]:
In that mind state, you want it to be your own, because you're still deep rooted in ego and it's not truth.

Eldar [01:53:16]:
I want to take it one step further.

Phillip [01:53:19]:
So you cannot allow in this state, or it's very difficult to allow somebody else to convey the truth to you and allow them to have it. It becomes an ego battle. If you're still in this saying, I need to figure this out. So in this moment, I'm not allowing Eldar's elderism or truth or whatever to convey to me, to affect me. All of a sudden, I'm going to let 810 months go by, and then I'm going to come up with the idea on my own or call it my idea and then say, like, hey, guys, like, okay, I figured it out. Now if you're, you can lower your ego down a little bit and say.

Phillip [01:53:51]:
Hey, I came to the conclusion.

Phillip [01:53:52]:
Eldar, thanks for planting the seed, blah, blah, blah. That's a nice turnaround. But I think most people, and he's.

Eldar [01:53:58]:
Done that to give him credit plenty of times back and said, yo, eldar, this is what it is. And thank you.

Phillip [01:54:04]:
That makes him not, like, a total nut, total sociopath. He is able, right. He is able to then lower his.

Phillip [01:54:10]:
Guard down at some level and understand. I do appreciate the truth.

Phillip [01:54:14]:
It's just going to take me longer.

LT [01:54:15]:
It takes long.

Phillip [01:54:16]:
So I think timing is a big thing.

Eldar [01:54:19]:
Hold on 1 second. And to add to a little bit more of why this was coined in the first place is throughout the process, when the fight happens, lt, I have fun with it. Okay.

LT [01:54:29]:
He does it.

Eldar [01:54:30]:
He doesn't.

Mike [01:54:30]:
He gets angry.

Eldar [01:54:32]:
Having fun at his expense. 100%. You know what I mean? Because I know what to say. I know how to push. I know how to piss.

Oleg C [01:54:38]:
So how do you help a person like that who's so sore and sensitive? Because you can wait.

Eldar [01:54:45]:
Let life teach you.

Oleg C [01:54:47]:
Maybe Philip is like a perfect storm.

Eldar [01:54:49]:
I recommend it.

Oleg C [01:54:50]:
What if Dennis takes 20 years, 30 years? The best thing I ever did.

LT [01:54:55]:
Yeah.

Phillip [01:54:55]:
You can't force the timing to me, you have to be ready.

Oleg C [01:54:59]:
And I think there's an approach to every person somehow.

Mike [01:55:01]:
No, I don't think so. Because a person who has a high ego, who thinks they're right, and you don't go to a Doctor and be like, hey, I'm feeling this way. And he starts telling you like, okay, this we need to do be like, no, I don't want you to do this. I want you to do this. How do you go to a doctor and tell him what to do?

Eldar [01:55:18]:
So the next you have a big ego. Very good.

Mike [01:55:21]:
So the doctor has to be like, yo, shut the fuck up. I'm the fucking doctor. He's not going to say, oh, maybe you're right, it's a good idea.

Eldar [01:55:30]:
Student and teacher relationship topic. It'sick. And we talked about a little bit about trust and stuff like that over chat real quick. It's extremely important, right, if you're a student, to be able to actually go to the teacher, right. To be able to get that knowledge, you have to have a certain mindset, you know what I mean? And vice versa. And the teacher who's being appointed also have to be able to know who's actually open and who's not open to be able to then teach, you know what I'm saying?

Phillip [01:55:52]:
And if you're not honest in those moments, you become the people pleaser.

Eldar [01:55:55]:
That's right. Right.

Phillip [01:55:56]:
And then you get more deep rooted in ego where you're like, oh, yeah, I am hearing you, blah, blah, blah, but you're not really hearing them. You're in your own head.

Phillip [01:56:04]:
And then you have to get separated.

Phillip [01:56:05]:
From these people you don't want to be around people you want to discover on your own.

Eldar [01:56:08]:
Correct?

Phillip [01:56:08]:
So to me, you have to be fully ready. And you can't lie about this. Most people can probably figure it out. And most people see if somebody's a bullshitter, right? I think it's pretty at this stage now, even when I was people pleasing, I still had a good eye for other people bullshitting, but I wasn't honest with myself.

Eldar [01:56:22]:
That's right.

Phillip [01:56:22]:
Yeah, that's a hard one. But once you do get to the point where you are honest with yourself and you're genuinely there, then other people fuck with that too. And then it becomes reciprocated.

Eldar [01:56:32]:
And I'm going to tell you right now, when Dennis was able to tap in into his true self and stuff, he's a very funny guy too. He's very pleasant and he could get crazy too, right? And it was a lot of good energy.

Mike [01:56:43]:
He's good. He's good people.

Eldar [01:56:46]:
Yeah, but the way he went about certain things, and he wanted to put that down and close that off with his eastern philosophy, maybe teachings or whatever, like the meditations and all this other stuff to kill certain other stuff off. And I think that he's taking that away from himself. He's not really benefiting from actually enjoying himself because that's what I wanted to.

Mike [01:57:07]:
It's kind of like the conversation we were talking about is that nothing inherently is good or bad. It's just the way we associate with them, with those things. And Dennis, he has a thing where he feels that he doesn't want to associate those things.

Eldar [01:57:20]:
Right.

Mike [01:57:20]:
Do certain things because he thinks they're bad, but he doesn't understand that it's only the way he interact with them.

Oleg C [01:57:24]:
He's assigning them meaning, basically.

Mike [01:57:26]:
Yeah. He's assigning his own meaning, I think we and a certain attachment. So instead of being him true self, the crazy knot, there's nothing wrong with that. He's not hurting anybody we're all having.

Eldar [01:57:37]:
But instead he vibes on the right energy. Lying, for example. And that's something I don't fuck with.

Eldar [01:57:42]:
Right.

Eldar [01:57:42]:
So if you're blatantly lying because you're trying to cover up certain things, that's a clear discrepancy as to what I don't believe in, you know what I'm saying? So that was one incident where we completely separate ways is when he lied.

Eldar [01:57:53]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [01:57:54]:
That was one of the first fallouts. You know what I mean?

Oleg C [01:57:56]:
Doesn't a skillful teacher, though, have different approaches to different students?

Eldar [01:58:00]:
Listen, I'm an acquired taste, bro, and I know that.

Eldar [01:58:04]:
I'm okay with it, but if he.

Phillip [01:58:07]:
Had to change the way that his.

LT [01:58:08]:
Thing, I'm going to have to go to therapy after this.

Phillip [01:58:12]:
But if you had to change your approach, then you would be entering the people, please, correct.

Mike [01:58:17]:
It would be disingenuous.

Oleg C [01:58:19]:
I don't agree that it.

Eldar [01:58:22]:
Bro.

Eldar [01:58:22]:
My doors are open, bro. Yeah. Who called us today?

Phillip [01:58:27]:
Nate.

Eldar [01:58:28]:
Yeah. What happened?

Eldar [01:58:30]:
Did I not extend the invitation for him to come back? Yeah, 100%.

Eldar [01:58:33]:
That's it.

Eldar [01:58:34]:
You know what I'm saying? I'm open. I have no grudges.

Oleg C [01:58:36]:
Right. I understand if they're coming to you.

Eldar [01:58:39]:
And you're like, but I'm not willing.

Phillip [01:58:40]:
To take it or leave, not ask.

Oleg C [01:58:41]:
But let's say there is some of these I think we talked about with street Jesus, right? Or whatever.

Eldar [01:58:50]:
Who is this guy?

LT [01:58:51]:
I need to know who this guy.

Oleg C [01:58:52]:
Is bro, just go on the street, you'll see.

Mike [01:58:55]:
No, he's a podcast member, occasional podcast member, but he also levitates and he also fights AI.

Eldar [01:59:04]:
Yeah, he's fighting AI.

Phillip [01:59:07]:
So to me, you'd have to find somebody that is true to themselves that.

Phillip [01:59:11]:
Maybe has a different approach naturally.

Phillip [01:59:13]:
So, like asking Eldar to do something different. I think that person is maybe not ready to benefit from Eldar.

Oleg C [01:59:21]:
But you've never met a trainer or a coach or a teacher in school. He would talk to this kid and it basically would be like, eldar, this guy's just teaching a math and this guy's sitting there writing it down. He gets it. He regurgitates on the test. This other kid, he's like a fucking delinquent. He's like, whatever. Nobody wants to even deal with him because they think he's like half retarded or whatever. But this teacher, it's like the r word, bro.

Oleg C [01:59:45]:
All right. I remember even having that in high school. Sometimes there would be like this kid, he would always go back to that one teacher because that teacher was able to get through with him and he gets, he gets success.

Phillip [02:00:01]:
So here, so here's my thing with that is that person that needs to.

Phillip [02:00:04]:
Go from teacher to teacher to teacher, whatever to find the perfect one, he's probably not rooted in truth. I guarantee if he is rooted in truth and he's open to just finding out whatever it is, he's going to be open to a lot more teachers if they're genuine. So like Eldar's approach versus somebody else, if they're both rooted in truth and they're being themselves, that person, if they're.

Phillip [02:00:24]:
Actually ready to accept the true information, they're going to go with both teachers.

Phillip [02:00:27]:
But if I'm a very particular person, I'm a people pleaser and I need all the things buttoned up and I need all these big checkboxes and I need a teacher to look a certain way, talk a certain way, be available on Wednesdays at 08:00 this person is probably very difficult and they're probably not ready to get the truth. So they probably need somebody to baby them, okay? And they're not going to get the truth. So what I'm saying is, I think when it's truth, it's undeniable. And then whatever your personality is kind of like folds away and truth becomes the thing that you connect on.

Oleg C [02:00:57]:
But you're talking about this school of perfect students. I'm not talking about perfect students. I'm talking about just everyday people.

Eldar [02:01:02]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:01:03]:
And a skillful teacher can reach this archetype. What do you define skillful as? Like, having those skills of being able.

Eldar [02:01:13]:
To reach those people.

Phillip [02:01:16]:
So Eldar's doing.

Mike [02:01:20]:
I can guarantee you that if Elder tried the sensitive approach with Dennis, I'm not saying on a consistent basis it.

Eldar [02:01:26]:
Would not help Dennis.

Oleg C [02:01:29]:
I don't know what the approach is.

Eldar [02:01:30]:
But the thing is a student, right, like I said, if we talk about a student teacher dynamic or relationship, which student goes and starts telling the fuck?

Mike [02:01:40]:
Questioning the teacher.

Eldar [02:01:41]:
Questioning the teacher how they're supposed to fucking.

Mike [02:01:44]:
Yeah, the same thing.

Eldar [02:01:45]:
Like he said, if the teacher is skilled, like he just said, if the.

Mike [02:01:49]:
Student believes he's skilled, if the student comes to the teacher, he automatically believes that he's skilled.

Eldar [02:01:55]:
Theoretically, therapeutic relationship starts with first the trust.

Mike [02:01:58]:
The trust.

Eldar [02:01:59]:
Right.

Eldar [02:01:59]:
The openness to be able to be vulnerable. Give that. So it's not my magic.

Eldar [02:02:03]:
Right.

Eldar [02:02:04]:
Ultimately, right. I'm just able to just bounce back what it is that is people always question.

Eldar [02:02:08]:
Right.

Eldar [02:02:11]:
Like you said, you're not ready to be open for this kind of an approach, and that's perfectly fine with me.

Eldar [02:02:17]:
I'm okay with it.

Eldar [02:02:18]:
Time will tell.

Mike [02:02:19]:
If you're not ready, it means you're so prideful and egotistical.

Oleg C [02:02:22]:
I'm not saying the student, by the way, has to be like, yo, elder, this is how I want to be taught.

Eldar [02:02:26]:
I'm saying no, but that was the request.

Mike [02:02:29]:
That's the request.

Eldar [02:02:30]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:02:31]:
I'm just saying there might be an approach that the teacher is not doing. Might be a different approach.

Mike [02:02:38]:
If you're delivering the what, if you.

LT [02:02:40]:
Have to throw the line back at.

Eldar [02:02:41]:
Him, will you do it?

Eldar [02:02:44]:
Which, fine. I always throw the line. He knows my door is open. Everything else. Yeah, absolutely. But I'm going to call things for what they are, and the ego is not going to be able to accept that. So we're not going to match, which is fine because I also have an ego, and my ego will always fight back. You know what I mean?

Phillip [02:02:58]:
But most people fold on this. Most people will fold on this. And I think this is the start of getting back into people pleasing, which was, I'm going to stop doing this because I want this other person to be happy.

Eldar [02:03:10]:
I don't give a fuck, bro. I don't have a horse in a race with his happiness, bro. However he himself pleases himself or makes himself happy, great. If it works for you, awesome. You know what I'm saying? If you need some help, ask. No problem. I can help you, but at the end of the day, I really don't give a fuck.

Eldar [02:03:24]:
You know what I'm saying? I don't.

Eldar [02:03:27]:
I don't have that attachment. You know what I'm saying? If Philip leaves, I don't have that attachment. Mike leaves, I don't have that attachment. You know what I mean?

Oleg C [02:03:33]:
But being kind and doing good and helping somebody be successful, that's my priority.

Eldar [02:03:39]:
That is my priority. Only if the other person gives a fuck. I only try to teach when asked. If you don't give a fuck, if you don't take the first foot forward. I can't. My hands are tied. I don't know how to perform. But as soon as I feel that vulnerability or question asking, we start having a dialogue conversation that you want to learn.

Eldar [02:03:57]:
I'll ask the right questions, and you.

Eldar [02:03:59]:
Will teach yourself within that conversation. I don't even have to say anything. I'll just ask questions. All I do, I'm not doing anything specific or special. Guys, elderism is not fucking some magic. It's just paying attention, listening and asking questions. That's it.

Eldar [02:04:13]:
That's it.

Eldar [02:04:15]:
Sometimes I miss, sometimes I score. It just happens. That my fucking High. I'm sorry, ot.

Eldar [02:04:21]:
You know what I'm saying?

Oleg C [02:04:22]:
Like, I was telling you privately.

Eldar [02:04:24]:
Sorry. I'm not sorry, bro.

LT [02:04:26]:
Like a triple double.

Eldar [02:04:27]:
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Oleg C [02:04:30]:
I was telling you privately before and also yesterday because I started just trying some certain self development type things, and they actually pissed me off because they just ask questions. They're vague. They're kind of like, don't explain and shit. Yeah, and there's a lot of concepts, and I think I recognize a lot of your stuff there.

Eldar [02:04:51]:
You disrespected me. Now I can't even defend myself because I don't even know what they're talking about. But it sounds like a dis. Nobody else got shit like this.

Oleg C [02:04:58]:
No, it's not.

Eldar [02:04:59]:
That's what Dennis don't like.

Katherine [02:05:03]:
The layer.

Eldar [02:05:04]:
Of arrogance I have to now, bro. He coined it, so I'm running with it. Elderism owns all, bro.

Oleg C [02:05:10]:
I think it made me more open minded, though, to elderism stuff.

Eldar [02:05:14]:
Well, that's interesting.

Oleg C [02:05:15]:
Before, I feel like I was more like, similar, like, oh, there's some wisdom here, but why is there this crazy ass delivery? It's so stupid.

Eldar [02:05:24]:
There you go.

Oleg C [02:05:24]:
Such a dick. Now I see more, but what made you right?

Eldar [02:05:31]:
My question would be, what made you have to see it for what it is? And you see now the intention right behind what's actually going on? Here and where we're trying to get to. What made you that? What there sparked like, oh, shit. They might be onto something, and they actually mean well. Is it a feeling or is there a structure?

Oleg C [02:05:51]:
I don't know. It's something made me think I was paying too much attention to the rapper, kind of like.

Mike [02:06:01]:
You wanted a nice package.

Eldar [02:06:03]:
That's exactly what is being asked of me. Package it nicely. Catherine comes to me, hey, what is it? And I'm direct, straight to the point, oh, it's too hard. I'm like, okay, cool. Let somebody else explain to you. Comes back. We're talking about the same truth with the therapist. They will package it nicely, but the same piece of shit is inside, and that's you.

Eldar [02:06:20]:
And if I'm calling you a piece of shit for that moment, it's not because I don't like you or I don't love you. I have love for you. It's because you're being a piece of shit in that moment. You're an idiot. I can't call it for what. It's not because that's exactly what it is. But for a lot of people who are not more humble or open, have some humility, that'll hurt.

Oleg C [02:06:37]:
Also, I think the thing and my.

Eldar [02:06:40]:
Intention is then covered by the delivery. Fuck the delivery.

Oleg C [02:06:43]:
Right?

Eldar [02:06:44]:
I will spend more time with every single person in this room, one on one, and I'll outlast anybody. Anybody. And I believe in that when it comes to that. I have that stamina, you know what I'm saying?

Oleg C [02:06:55]:
I have that shit.

Eldar [02:06:56]:
I enjoy that. It's my passion, you understand? It comes naturally. So far, it's easy for Mike. We discovered the same thing. He also knows how to bring people. He's listening to people. He's asking the right questions. You know what I'm saying? Lt is here for that reason, you.

Eldar [02:07:09]:
Know what I mean?

Eldar [02:07:10]:
And all sorts of stuff, because he has that ability, and it comes easy. It's not fucking discipline. He's not going out there like, okay, cool. I got to get nine people today. No, it's just natural. Mike always brought more people in than I did.

Oleg C [02:07:22]:
He's the main recruiter also. Yeah, there was another component, because I was talking, my friend.

Phillip [02:07:28]:
I love the word component.

Eldar [02:07:29]:
Okay, cool.

Oleg C [02:07:32]:
I mean, a component to me being more, I think, open minded to the elderism.

Eldar [02:07:37]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:07:39]:
My friend, who's into discovering himself, whatever. He reads some of that eastern philosophy and everything.

Eldar [02:07:44]:
I don't know.

Oleg C [02:07:45]:
We're talking about something about, how can you follow whatever this guy and this guy, because it's like, whatever. Everything is great. But this person smokes, like, what the fuck? He's obviously not enlightened, fucking smoking cigarettes and shit. And he's like, oh, that's funny. There's actually a story about. I don't remember what it was exactly, but something about somebody was going to this guru, and this guru is, like, smoking cigarettes. He's like, eating shitty food. And this guy's like, how am I supposed to, like, this guy is not enlightened.

Oleg C [02:08:13]:
You know what I mean? Or whatever. So I think people are like, eldar is, like, being cocky, having ego, like, using.

Eldar [02:08:19]:
They don't know me.

Oleg C [02:08:21]:
I'm not saying people whatever. Like daddy, even me. So I think a lot of people, they think the person you learn from.

Eldar [02:08:27]:
They have to be ideal.

Eldar [02:08:29]:
That's your problem, that you made that.

Eldar [02:08:31]:
Up in your head.

Oleg C [02:08:33]:
I think that's a common mistake, and.

Eldar [02:08:36]:
I made that mistake, too.

Phillip [02:08:37]:
Yeah, it's common because most people aren't ready to accept.

Eldar [02:08:39]:
That's right.

Phillip [02:08:40]:
Aren't ready what?

Phillip [02:08:41]:
Aren't ready to accept whatever he's saying.

Eldar [02:08:46]:
That's right. It's easy to look for the image. Oh, he got a suit and tie. Oh, I fuck with that. Yeah.

Oleg C [02:08:51]:
Like, appeal to authority or whatever.

Eldar [02:08:53]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:08:53]:
It's an easy out.

Eldar [02:08:54]:
Right?

Phillip [02:08:54]:
Just think, like, just think of all the things that we're talking about. If you're saying that. Oh, I would be able to get all of it, Eldar, but your tone is off. No, tone is not even what we're talking about.

Phillip [02:09:06]:
No, we're talking about being ourselves. Talking about being ourselves, thinking about truth, what we like, what we don't like, how we're talking about. We're not being rude to one.

Eldar [02:09:14]:
No, not tone.

Oleg C [02:09:15]:
Imagine Eldar is a fucking, I don't know, perpetual masturbator, right? And you're like, can I follow this guy? He can't stop even jerking off all the time. He can't even cure himself, right? Like a fat doctor or a fucking boot maker with fucked up shoes, right?

Mike [02:09:36]:
We think that just because the person is a doctor, he's supposed to be healthy, but he's a human being.

Oleg C [02:09:41]:
That's what I'm told him.

Mike [02:09:42]:
And he might be a good doctor, but he's bad to himself as far as eating habits or his exercising routine. But it also comes back to, I guess, the idealized image of a guru is like, he has to have everything.

Eldar [02:09:55]:
Perfect, but the truth is, what is.

Mike [02:09:58]:
The purpose of life? Is it all of us to become gurus or of us to become humans, stay human, enjoy the great things that life has to offer, which is smoking, drinking, eating, I don't know, drugs, whatever that you like. Who said you can't do it and still be a good person and do good things?

Eldar [02:10:14]:
Yeah, well, moderation, obviously, right.

Mike [02:10:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:10:17]:
I always.

Oleg C [02:10:18]:
Myself, I'm always, like, thinking, Eldar, if you were so wise, like, you wouldn't be cocky or you wouldn't have an.

Phillip [02:10:23]:
Ego or, like, somebody could say, whatever.

Oleg C [02:10:26]:
You wouldn't get.

Eldar [02:10:27]:
I'm having too much fun, bro.

Oleg C [02:10:28]:
Upset about.

Eldar [02:10:28]:
I'm enjoying myself.

Eldar [02:10:29]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:10:29]:
The thing is. The thing is, you have that in you, too.

Eldar [02:10:34]:
And I promote that sometimes when you're talking shit. I love that. You finally coming out of your shelf.

Oleg C [02:10:39]:
Oh, no, but that's why I do it. Because I know what you like.

Eldar [02:10:41]:
People fucking. Oh, my God, this guy.

Oleg C [02:10:44]:
No, I'm saying that's why I can do it. No, I know. You know, like, it's tongue in cheek.

Eldar [02:10:49]:
Or whatever, but do you actually enjoy it?

Oleg C [02:10:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:10:53]:
There you go.

Eldar [02:10:54]:
Do you see that with me? He does it and he enjoys it.

Oleg C [02:10:57]:
Yeah, well, no, lot of times I doing it for laughs and shit.

Mike [02:11:01]:
Well, that's a great reason.

Oleg C [02:11:02]:
Good for you.

Eldar [02:11:03]:
We're here to do that.

Phillip [02:11:05]:
That's like saying a comedian, you like. Comedians like, comedians are sarcastic. They say something that's not true and do it in a certain way to get a laugh. So it's just, to me, it's like a way of delivery. So I don't think Eldar talking a certain way to me. I don't think he's coming from a bad place. I think he generally just likes talking shit. I see Tolly on the phone.

Phillip [02:11:26]:
These guys like to troll people and kind of, in a smart way, kind of just point out that they're being dumb or silly. I think it's a form of, again, discovering the truth. If you're just an asshole to be an asshole, that's one thing. Yeah, but he's not being an asshole to be an asshole for my.

Oleg C [02:11:41]:
No, I've realized.

Phillip [02:11:42]:
I think that's the differentiation.

Eldar [02:11:43]:
When'd you realize that? Okay, cool.

Phillip [02:11:46]:
Thank you.

Oleg C [02:11:47]:
I remember I wrote a. And I asked Eldar to send it to Catherine. I worked hard on it and shit. This is like last year, and this motherfucker just shit on it. Even though I didn't ask his opinion. I was like, no, come on. Any normal person, out of politeness would just be like, yo, good job, or, glad you finally did that. Point out the positive.

Oleg C [02:12:06]:
And I was like, I got pissed, but I was like, fucking Elvar. What do you expect?

Eldar [02:12:11]:
He wanted my opinion and he wrote up some pc bullshit. I'm like, that's not. You all say what you actually believe. You know what I'm saying? He covered up like, yo, I hate the fact that my friend is getting married now. I'm not going to be able to hike anymore. I'm like, say that shit. Say it in the fucking speech. But for love, I love.

Oleg C [02:12:27]:
I got standing ovation, bro, because you hang out on people because it was in Russian.

Phillip [02:12:34]:
So instead of saying what you really want, you're saying what everybody else like, you got the applause, so then it makes it easier to keep going on.

Eldar [02:12:40]:
Correct.

Mike [02:12:41]:
That's what builds the ego.

Phillip [02:12:42]:
That's what builds, right?

Oleg C [02:12:43]:
It was the least pc speech and that's why they chose me to do it.

Eldar [02:12:47]:
Oh, good, at least you listened a little bit.

Oleg C [02:12:49]:
Something elder isn't the point of that was just like, because you're saying. I was like, okay, elder is not doing it to be an asshole.

Eldar [02:12:55]:
Oh, no, he is doing it to.

Oleg C [02:12:56]:
Be an asshole, but not like an evil asshole.

Eldar [02:12:58]:
Okay?

Oleg C [02:12:59]:
It's more like you're an asshole, dude.

Eldar [02:13:01]:
Because I actually take the time, actually give actual fucking critical feedback.

Mike [02:13:05]:
He wants to promote your true self.

Eldar [02:13:07]:
Actually are my job.

Mike [02:13:09]:
That's why he called you out on it.

Eldar [02:13:10]:
Yes, my job. Through questions, try to remind you of you yourself.

Eldar [02:13:13]:
That's it.

LT [02:13:14]:
True identity.

Oleg C [02:13:15]:
Yeah, my true self is a mass murderer.

Eldar [02:13:19]:
We were driving out, I got to know a lot about Lt. Probably me too, right? Two hour conversation. But we got straight to the point, like, what is bothering you? You know what I mean? You said, hey, I'm getting violated at work. And then we discussed that whole thing, and I know that conversation now. And that's what we can always retract back to. And I'm going to ask him, hey, how's that going? Are you still getting reamed? You're still being a punk? Or are you doing something about it?

Eldar [02:13:41]:
Right?

Eldar [02:13:41]:
Or you do something about it? He can either hide, not have that conversation, but he knows what he's going to get from me, you know what I mean? And that's a genuine connection that potentially can last if you can keep up. You know what I mean? If we can both keep up, and that's what I'm going for. Everything else doesn't matter, right? What matters is his fucking health, his well being, that is being taken away from his basketball, from his wife, from his family and all this other shit, because they're asking him to do a thousand things.

Eldar [02:14:06]:
You know what, you guys?

Oleg C [02:14:09]:
How do you leave Philip alone?

Eldar [02:14:12]:
I said, I think the recommendation has to be about learning how to actually have fun on your own.

Eldar [02:14:16]:
Right?

Eldar [02:14:17]:
And having. Figure out what is it that you actually like to do, actually. And then carry that intention into. Like, Catherine's learning that, right? To be able to be by herself and stuff. For a long time, she thought she.

Eldar [02:14:29]:
Was a loner, then. She's.

Eldar [02:14:30]:
No, no, actually, I like people. I like to socialize and stuff.

Katherine [02:14:33]:
Like you. That whole thing.

Phillip [02:14:34]:
She had the whole work remotely.

Katherine [02:14:36]:
Oh, actually, I don't.

Eldar [02:14:37]:
Yeah, same thing.

Phillip [02:14:38]:
So think about something like, this is a perfect example of, know, watching Netflix.

Phillip [02:14:42]:
Or something like that.

Phillip [02:14:42]:
And I'm saying to myself, I can't do these things anymore. I don't allow myself the time. I think deep down in my head, I have the association of, like, watching tv is a lazy.

Eldar [02:14:54]:
Why?

Eldar [02:14:55]:
Who told you this? This is something that I come home, right? We have a dynamic. I come home, I like my shit.

Eldar [02:15:02]:
I turned off. I worked.

Eldar [02:15:04]:
I did stuff. You know what I mean? I also need to relax sometimes to be by myself. I put on my shit, UFC shit, basketball shit, all this other shit. Catherine's doing her shit. She's doing makeup shit.

Eldar [02:15:12]:
She's doing what? Show you nat geo stuff.

Eldar [02:15:16]:
You know what I'm saying? All her stuff, health wise, separately, and that's fine. It's resting and relaxing. She's right next to me. She's right next to me doing her stuff. And I'm right next to her doing my stuff.

Eldar [02:15:25]:
And we're resting. We're resting.

Eldar [02:15:27]:
It's perfectly normal. And I'm enjoying what I'm reading, entertaining. As long as I'm negatively impacting me, right? Or I might start. Maybe the news was impacting her in a negative way where she was doing the whole Covid thing and everybody was scaring her. I'm like, yo, babe, just watch something that you like. You don't like this turning into a monster. They're trying to fear monger you. You know what mean?

Eldar [02:15:45]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:15:46]:
What I'm saying is that. Who told you that? If you actually like Netflix and those shows, enjoy them and see how you feel. Now, she. For a long time, she was bashing herself, saying, I'm being lazy. I'm like, babe, the way you worked in the city, the way you commuted and stuff, you need three to five years just to recuperate, just to get your strength back, just to relax, play video games, like, shit like that. We used to do you know what I mean? It was for us. There's nothing wrong with that. Lay in bed, get fat.

Eldar [02:16:12]:
You know what I'm saying? Eat what you like. There's nothing wrong with that. But do it consciously for yourself. That's self love.

Katherine [02:16:19]:
Join the club.

Phillip [02:16:20]:
Yeah, join the club.

Eldar [02:16:23]:
Yeah. Talk design stuff. You watch design stuff. That's what you like. Enjoy it.

Phillip [02:16:27]:
So I think it goes back to that example.

Oleg C [02:16:29]:
It sounds like a hedonistic lifestyle.

Eldar [02:16:31]:
I don't know what that is, but go ahead.

Phillip [02:16:33]:
So there was an example with Tolly.

Mike [02:16:35]:
Extreme pleasure.

Eldar [02:16:36]:
Extreme pleasure. You still.

Mike [02:16:37]:
Hedonism is pleasure devil.

Oleg C [02:16:39]:
Yeah, I just said that. But like hedonism, how can you.

Eldar [02:16:43]:
I'm not talking about gluttony, bro.

Phillip [02:16:44]:
Here.

Eldar [02:16:45]:
Recovery. The one example has been doing bad for yourself for a long time.

Phillip [02:16:49]:
Tolly was saying that he likes to play video games.

Phillip [02:16:52]:
But if he's playing video games and he knows that as a result of playing video games, he put off cleaning or something like that.

Phillip [02:17:01]:
This is to me where I have.

Phillip [02:17:02]:
My things in my head where I'm saying, okay, I'm a productive guy, I'm going to work, going home. I should be able to enjoy these things. But inside of my head I'm telling myself that watching this going to be lazy. So I have to keep doing productive stuff. Maybe I go for a walk at home, I have to tire myself out. I have a lot of energy, right? So I'm like watching a show, am I educating myself? Blah, blah. I think about all these things and I have associations of negative things for something that should be just a general pleasure. So if I'm putting all those things in place, like in the tolly example, if I am cleaning, right, I'm cleaning my place, I'm doing my work, I'm being responsible.

Phillip [02:17:36]:
Why shouldn't I be able to enjoy a show if I know that I do like it?

Eldar [02:17:40]:
That's right.

Phillip [02:17:41]:
So I'm allowing my belief system for whoever told me about it or wherever I got it from to prevent me from doing things that I do genuinely enjoy, that I associate with being a lazy person.

Eldar [02:17:52]:
That's right. Yeah.

Eldar [02:17:53]:
And you're like, no, I don't want to be a lazy person. Yeah, you don't want to attach that.

Phillip [02:17:56]:
So I'm still struggling with this one.

Eldar [02:17:57]:
Well, yeah, I mean, that's not lazy. Have the ability to actually love yourself. That's not lazy. That's an actual action, you know what I mean? To relax and lay down and say, yo, it's okay, my legs hurt today. Take a day off. It's okay. It's fine. You know what I mean?

Eldar [02:18:11]:
Today.

Eldar [02:18:11]:
What happened today? You came over hungover.

Eldar [02:18:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:18:14]:
You can probably pull through and fucking stand there like an idiot and try to get sales, but you're not going to be productive. They take a nap. You took a fucking nap during work, which is the right thing to do.

Eldar [02:18:24]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [02:18:24]:
To relax so you can recuperate. It's okay. You learned your lesson, you know, not to do that again because you felt terrible. I don't got to tell you that. You know what I mean? You learned yourself, right? You know what I mean? And through love, through understanding acceptance, you'll.

Eldar [02:18:35]:
Do better next time.

Eldar [02:18:37]:
It's okay.

Eldar [02:18:37]:
You know what I mean?

Eldar [02:18:38]:
The most important thing was to take a nap, hydrate. You know what I'm saying?

Eldar [02:18:43]:
Dairy Queen. Yeah. Sorry.

Mike [02:18:44]:
Ice cream.

Eldar [02:18:45]:
Yeah.

Katherine [02:18:47]:
You've had a day.

Phillip [02:18:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:18:50]:
But a lot of times we'll beat ourselves up. Oh, what are they going to think?

Phillip [02:18:54]:
This was a big one. So I'm really big on health and nutrition.

Eldar [02:18:58]:
Right.

Mike [02:18:59]:
You thought he was.

Phillip [02:18:59]:
Thought I was. But I still do like to eat healthy and I like the effects. But I know that these guys like to go out and eat and they don't really watch too much of what they eat. And I guess when you have an.

Phillip [02:19:14]:
Association with being healthy, they were asking.

Phillip [02:19:18]:
Me like, do you think it's actually really healthy to start depriving yourself of stuff? And I think the conversation is really interesting of how do you measure stress and how do you measure when you are preventing yourself from something? What does that look like happiness wise? So let's say if I'm sacrificing eating candy and pizza in order to create a certain image for myself and to look a certain way, and maybe my heart beats a certain way and I don't have to go to the doctor as much. What type of mental stress am I putting myself on to become this type of person? So I think since I've been here, I'm allowing myself to have a slice of pizza ice cream. Now I'm not drunk. Yeah, get drunk, but I'm not now. Yeah, I did it to an extreme, but the point is that I'm not gaining any weight. I feel really good still. I'm allowing myself to do things that.

Phillip [02:20:01]:
I didn't think that I can do.

Phillip [02:20:02]:
Because it's an unhealthy thing. But actually, when I do the unhealthy thing, it actually makes me want to do the healthy thing more and it actually makes me value the healthy thing.

Eldar [02:20:10]:
Look at that fucking canal.

LT [02:20:11]:
Everything in moderation.

Phillip [02:20:12]:
So everything in moderation.

Eldar [02:20:14]:
But he was depriving himself.

Phillip [02:20:15]:
But I was. I didn't realize that I was depriving myself. And I thought the more that I.

Phillip [02:20:19]:
Didn'T do those other things was actually.

Phillip [02:20:21]:
Healthy, but I was not factoring in what level of stress. And we still haven't came to the conclusion of, like, maybe we can look it up. What does a measurable stress look like? Because when you look at calories and nutrition, it's very easy to say, this is 300 calories. This has a certain amount of grams of carbs. If I work out, I'm going to burn 500 calories. These are very socially accepted norms of measurable things. Stress is not this measurable thing where you put a number on it and people are like, okay, if I guilt.

Eldar [02:20:45]:
Myself into this, how much does guilt provide? Stress?

Phillip [02:20:47]:
Yeah, how much stress? Like calorie or whatever? At least maybe if there are stats like this, they're not talked about and people are not educated on these things. So it's very, to me, understandable of why I dismiss this and just put maybe my image and calories and exercise first. But I'm somebody that does like pizza.

Phillip [02:21:07]:
I do like ice cream.

Phillip [02:21:08]:
I like eating like an idiot. Right. But obviously you do it in excess. I learned my lesson today, like Eldar said, but what's the other choice? Deprive myself and then just value health and then be again, like, what are you valuing? I'm valuing. I do want to be happy. I think everybody else does. So I thought my prior definition was, if I basically don't do anything, candy, pizza, whatever, I'm going to be happy. I was wrong.

Phillip [02:21:35]:
So what I'm saying is, it's really hard to get to that conclusion by yourself unless somebody is pointing it out to you. In my case, and I don't think most people are coming to this conclusion just making. They're on a walk and they're like, oh, shit.

Eldar [02:21:48]:
Yeah, I can eat candy today.

Phillip [02:21:50]:
This is not happening.

Phillip [02:21:51]:
I don't see this.

Phillip [02:21:52]:
So, at least for me, I consider myself, like, a pretty smart guy. But when it comes to being able to decipher what's good or bad for myself, I don't think I'm very intelligent.

Eldar [02:22:02]:
Wow.

Eldar [02:22:03]:
You paying this guy? That's good?

Mike [02:22:04]:
A lot, bro.

Oleg C [02:22:05]:
How much you pay him out?

Eldar [02:22:07]:
This guy's good.

Oleg C [02:22:08]:
No, he's paying you, I think.

Eldar [02:22:09]:
I don't know who's paying.

Eldar [02:22:12]:
Out. Good.

Oleg C [02:22:13]:
Wait, but there we go.

Eldar [02:22:15]:
The pushback.

Eldar [02:22:16]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:22:16]:
The pushback. Pushback, baby.

Eldar [02:22:18]:
Something new.

Oleg C [02:22:19]:
So, totally, he comes home from work, let's say, or you comes home from work, he's tired.

Eldar [02:22:27]:
Whatever.

Oleg C [02:22:28]:
He has some shit to do. Whatever. He doesn't want to clean, he hires a cleaning lady.

Eldar [02:22:32]:
Fine.

Oleg C [02:22:33]:
Okay, he watches Netflix. But then since he watched Netflix and whatever, he got overstimulated from the fucking tv and the show, and he didn't walk around, he slept badly. And the next day, he doesn't feel good.

Eldar [02:22:49]:
Or let's say Philip eats pizza and.

Oleg C [02:22:54]:
Ice cream, and for him, even a little pizza and ice cream fucks him up. But he likes pizza and Ice. Know, to not be fucked up, he has to follow a strict diet. Then what? You know what I mean?

Eldar [02:23:04]:
So, Philip, you got a little bit of a glimpse of where you could have ended up if you didn't stop this.

Mike [02:23:09]:
Yeah, this is cool.

Eldar [02:23:13]:
Scary. Isn't that scary?

Phillip [02:23:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:23:16]:
What he's saying is a lot of crazy shit. No.

Phillip [02:23:22]:
So I get to that. I would say this. If you do do it in excess, you are an idiot. Right.

Eldar [02:23:30]:
Okay.

Phillip [02:23:30]:
So say in your example, right, if.

Mike [02:23:32]:
You'Re doing those things, but while you're eating that ice cream, you're whipping yourself excessively, like in the movie. Right. You're probably going to wake up with some.

Eldar [02:23:41]:
No.

Oleg C [02:23:42]:
Okay.

Mike [02:23:42]:
There's that whole mentally. You're whipping yourself every time you eat that fucking ice cream or you eat that pizza, you're mentally abusing yourself.

Oleg C [02:23:51]:
But it's a very practical thing. You watch tv instead of doing the walk, you sleep bad. You do it again the next day, you sleep bad.

Mike [02:23:57]:
There's no guarantee that shit every single time that's going to happen. But you're saying I don't walk at night and I watch tv at night.

Eldar [02:24:04]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:24:04]:
So in these examples, if you're not doing the other thing, it is normal to have that feeling because you're putting other things off that you should be doing. Ultimately, if I don't come to work, I have an obligation to come to work. If I'm going to put off work and then just sit home and watch Netflix, then I'm going to say, like, oh, watching Netflix is going to cause me this. It's like, no, I didn't do my job first. It's the responsibility of it. So I'm saying, I think the issue.

LT [02:24:29]:
Is you're relating it to being bad.

Eldar [02:24:31]:
Right?

LT [02:24:32]:
And that's what Mike is saying, being bad. If you're eating ice cream or eating pizza, you're just eating ice cream. Eating pizza.

Eldar [02:24:37]:
It's like eating a salad, right?

Eldar [02:24:40]:
Hopefully, you enjoy the ice cream.

Oleg C [02:24:43]:
There's people that are, like, obsessed with, I don't want to lose weight. I want to look good.

Mike [02:24:47]:
Those people actually need to do those kind of things because they have a very bad association with food.

Oleg C [02:24:54]:
Yeah, it has nothing to do with.

Mike [02:24:56]:
The stuff, but there's the stress they put upon themselves to maintain a certain life.

Phillip [02:25:00]:
And again, it comes back, and their diets.

Phillip [02:25:02]:
This stress thing is not measurable.

Phillip [02:25:04]:
Again, you're saying I want to be healthy, or this person wants to be.

Phillip [02:25:08]:
Healthy, and they have a certain image and they can't do this. They're saying this because they understand that pizza has a certain amount of calories and exercise has a certain amount of calories. It's an easy math equation. If I work out and burn 500 calories, I can eat up to 400 calories and I burn 100. That's mathematical. People are not having this association with stress. So when you're doing this to yourself, you're not allowing yourself to realize the magnitude of what kind of negativity that you're putting yourself in, because, again, it's not measurable. So if you don't know how to measure this thing, it's very easy to just dismiss it and then just attach nutrition and exercise to your well being when it's actually not.

Phillip [02:25:47]:
Because every time that you think about having pizza or the Netflix, I'm beating myself up about it. That's the unhealthy part. That's the conclusion that we came to. But again, I know this still, and I'm still struggling with it, because it's deep rooted in my mind. Anytime I watch it, I watch Netflix. I'm a lazy guy.

Oleg C [02:26:03]:
But the mentality you're talking about, again, it's kind of like, in the beginning of the podcast, I was saying, I feel like these are very. When Mike was saying a dad forcing his son to be a doctor, I feel like these are very obvious, low hanging fruit. Like, yeah, okay. Like, for me, I totally see it. Of course there's people depriving themselves because they're trying to be, I don't know, in shape for the summer when really they could fucking eat that stuff. It'll even help their metabolism and shit. Whatever. It doesn't matter.

Oleg C [02:26:27]:
I'm talking about, like. Okay, fine. Like, myself as an example, right? I have, like, chronic health issues. Eldar and them, they've tried.

Eldar [02:26:34]:
Allegedly.

Oleg C [02:26:35]:
Oh, don't deprive yourself. Whatever. For me, doctors can't find it. You can find it.

Eldar [02:26:41]:
They can't no, I can't hear you.

Mike [02:26:48]:
Learning your words, bro.

Eldar [02:26:49]:
Just lowering your words.

Oleg C [02:26:51]:
That's racist. You're not understand my accent.

Mike [02:26:54]:
You cannot.

Oleg C [02:26:55]:
For me, I could be like, yeah, ice cream.

Eldar [02:26:57]:
Cool.

Oleg C [02:26:57]:
I'm not beating myself up. Fucking great. I enjoy it, and then it'll fuck me up for a few days. Pizza, same shit. But do I love pizza?

Eldar [02:27:09]:
Fuck.

Oleg C [02:27:09]:
If I could, I would eat probably only pizza if I didn't have health issues. I was just worried about fat and shit. I would just be drunk and eating pizza probably all the time.

Eldar [02:27:18]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:27:18]:
So I was saying this example, then it would be stupid for you to eat like this because you understand that these things are actually causing you real health problems.

Phillip [02:27:26]:
For me, if it's actually linked.

Eldar [02:27:28]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:27:28]:
For me, what I'm saying is that I'm not allowing myself to eat pizza.

Phillip [02:27:32]:
Because I'm associating with being a fat, lazy person.

Eldar [02:27:36]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:27:36]:
And I don't always wanted that problem.

Eldar [02:27:38]:
Okay.

Oleg C [02:27:40]:
All the time, bro, your example is.

Phillip [02:27:43]:
Different than mine because if I had.

Phillip [02:27:44]:
A real health problem and then I kept eating pizza and I knew that that pizza was actually hurting me, and the doctor said, hey, listen, if you eliminate pizza, it's actually smart because your.

Phillip [02:27:51]:
Body can't take cheese and you're lactose intolerant.

Phillip [02:27:55]:
If you keep eating pizza, then to.

Eldar [02:27:56]:
Me, you're not a smart person.

Phillip [02:27:58]:
So in my example, I was self diagnosing. My quote unquote issue of got Covid.

Phillip [02:28:06]:
And I was sick. And I said, I don't want to get sick anymore. So in order for me to not get sick anymore, I'm just going to eat super healthy. That was my motivation. I don't ever want to get sick again. But I didn't associate putting things off with also being sick. So as I maybe got the image that I want, that I can fit.

Phillip [02:28:21]:
In the clothes that I want, I.

Phillip [02:28:22]:
Have the energy that I want.

Phillip [02:28:23]:
I'm deprived myself of stuff that I actually like.

Phillip [02:28:25]:
So then it's like a matter of.

Phillip [02:28:26]:
Reintroducing those things but in a balanced.

Phillip [02:28:29]:
Way where I'm enjoying them.

Phillip [02:28:30]:
But most of my life is still.

Phillip [02:28:31]:
Healthy, but now I'm able to eat.

Phillip [02:28:33]:
Some stuff and not beat myself up.

Eldar [02:28:35]:
About it, at least. Balance.

Phillip [02:28:37]:
Yeah, I'm still trying.

Eldar [02:28:39]:
Yeah, no, for sure. And you went a little bit about a balance yesterday because you drank a little bit too much and it didn't settle well, you know, you gauge it right.

Eldar [02:28:47]:
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Phillip [02:28:48]:
It's definitely not like a perfect plan all of a sudden.

Phillip [02:28:50]:
It's going to stop, but I definitely still struggle with the food stuff. It's not perfect.

Phillip [02:28:56]:
Mike points it out a lot in me.

Phillip [02:28:58]:
He'll be like, hey, you want ice cream? And I'll be, nah. And then all of a sudden it's like, yeah. And then I ate it. And, you know, it tastes really good. It's great. And I don't feel bad.

Katherine [02:29:05]:
Mike also has his own.

Eldar [02:29:07]:
Mike's good at this.

Oleg C [02:29:08]:
Yeah, Mike definitely has his own.

Phillip [02:29:10]:
For sure.

Eldar [02:29:10]:
Mike is the ultimate goal to everybody.

Mike [02:29:12]:
Have the pushing people to do what actually makes them happy.

Eldar [02:29:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:29:16]:
And I'm promoting that. I want you to enjoy that ice cream, and I'm 100% certain that you're not going to feel bad about it.

Eldar [02:29:24]:
Or you're not going to have any.

Mike [02:29:25]:
Bad effects about it, because that's what you genuinely want to do. And I'm promoting you not to feel bad about it, not to beat yourself.

Eldar [02:29:31]:
Up, not to stress.

Mike [02:29:32]:
And when those things are done out of genuine, kind of like intentions, not from me only, but from you as.

Eldar [02:29:38]:
Well, you're not going to be having.

Mike [02:29:40]:
A problem with being overweight or some other nonsense.

Oleg C [02:29:44]:
What if someone's definitely allergic to ice cream?

Mike [02:29:47]:
You offer them peanuts, you offer them dairy free ice cream.

Oleg C [02:29:50]:
Okay. Obviously you're this magic man. Like, I made it with love.

Eldar [02:29:57]:
Obviously. All this other stuff.

Oleg C [02:29:59]:
Yeah, fucking life.

Eldar [02:30:01]:
No.

Oleg C [02:30:01]:
Salesman of death over here.

Eldar [02:30:02]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:30:03]:
No.

Eldar [02:30:05]:
I mean, ultimately, what we're trying to do, we're trying to maximize the amount of happiness and pleasure we get and minimize the amount of pain we get by using philosophy and critical thinking.

Oleg C [02:30:15]:
And the person that is not like Phil, let's say, like me, who can't, let's say, eat something, whatever, would that person then instead, that's because you haven't.

Mike [02:30:24]:
Hang around us enough.

Oleg C [02:30:25]:
Would that person then, instead of trying.

Mike [02:30:27]:
To eat that, that's Phil, or not.

Oleg C [02:30:29]:
Be changing his mentality about why he even wants that in the first place.

Mike [02:30:35]:
That could be part of it.

Oleg C [02:30:36]:
You know what I mean?

Mike [02:30:37]:
Your association with ice cream is bad because at some point down the line, or pizza or ice cream, you decided this is bad and you bought into that belief, but you maybe made a wrong connection.

Eldar [02:30:48]:
No.

Oleg C [02:30:48]:
What do you mean? I ate it.

Eldar [02:30:49]:
I felt like.

Oleg C [02:30:50]:
I felt like shit. And I noticed every time I would do it, I felt bad. I wouldn't. You have an allergy to dairy, some sensitivities.

Eldar [02:30:58]:
But there's plenty of other things that you can eat that you enjoy, right?

Oleg C [02:31:01]:
Yeah, there are.

Eldar [02:31:02]:
All right, cool. So you're not completely like you don't.

Eldar [02:31:04]:
Have, like, a gut? Leaky gut or something?

Oleg C [02:31:06]:
No, I think I do. I think probably people that really have.

Eldar [02:31:11]:
To really nitpick every single thing that they eat put in their body. Like, you're not one of those.

Oleg C [02:31:15]:
Yeah, unfortunately, I am.

Eldar [02:31:17]:
Oh, you are?

Eldar [02:31:20]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:31:21]:
I mean, listen, those are different circumstances. Again, if you're self diagnosing yourself and it's not deep rooted in truth, or if you're saying that you actually do have these health problems and they are.

Phillip [02:31:31]:
True, then again, to me, it comes down to making a smart decision. If Mike is telling you to eat ice cream and you're saying, hey, Mike.

Phillip [02:31:40]:
I'm lactose intolerant, Mike's not going to keep telling you to eat ice cream.

Oleg C [02:31:44]:
Dude, social construct or whatever. Yeah, Aldo rhythm.

Phillip [02:31:48]:
Eat it. But if you're saying, hey, I don't want to eat gummy bears, right, like, and gummy bears are your thing, and there's nothing wrong with the sugar, but you have the association that sugar is.

Phillip [02:31:57]:
Going to make you fat.

Phillip [02:31:58]:
And every time that you eat them, you're going to put yourself in a bad place. You have to ask, is the gummy bear actually doing that? Or is it my association with the.

Phillip [02:32:06]:
Gummy bear and me beating myself up?

Phillip [02:32:08]:
And my answer to myself was, I'm.

Phillip [02:32:10]:
Usually beating myself up about it for tv or for eating and stuff like that.

Phillip [02:32:14]:
And now that I'm.

Oleg C [02:32:15]:
I didn't even realize that was, like, a thing.

Eldar [02:32:18]:
Again, people struggle with different things again.

Phillip [02:32:20]:
Because it's not measurable. These stresses are not measurable. Or if they are measurable, they're not talked about as openly as nutrition and exercise.

Mike [02:32:29]:
I didn't realize created stress you but thinking that tv is bad for you, you creating that stress because your belief is a mislawed tv is not bad for you unless you're watching 20 hours a day.

Eldar [02:32:40]:
No.

Eldar [02:32:41]:
Unless you're reacting to the shit that you're watching, right. In a negative way, you start becoming more angry, more like, right then that tv or that program. And the way you're perceiving it and not thinking it through is making you. Is affecting you. If I don't like scary movies, which I don't, I don't fucking watch them because they fucking hurt my stomach, you know what I mean? They give me a fucking thing, I'll be an idiot to go watch the fucking shit and expect a different result. No, I am sensitive to the shit. I stay away from it. I watch fucking comedy.

Phillip [02:33:11]:
So this is where my head goes.

Phillip [02:33:12]:
It's like media right?

Phillip [02:33:13]:
Like, people have ideas of the news.

Phillip [02:33:15]:
And media, and there's so much money being pumped into media, social media, news, like, whatever news channels, they realize this is an effective tool to basically do what Eldar was saying.

Phillip [02:33:26]:
The negative sense of it was they.

Phillip [02:33:28]:
Can basically control your mind, essentially, if you allow them.

Phillip [02:33:30]:
If you basically invest enough time into this, this type of device can alter your behavior if you allow it. So if you realize that you're doing this or this thing is doing this to you, you have to realize that you're powerless to this thing, and then.

Phillip [02:33:46]:
You probably should not watch that, or.

Phillip [02:33:47]:
At least not watch that thing.

Phillip [02:33:49]:
And maybe comedy, like you said you.

Phillip [02:33:51]:
Like Louis CK and stuff like that. If you probably watch an hour of Louis CK versus watching an hour of Fox News talking about, like, Donald Trump and this, that and all this other bullshit, I bet you when you come out of that, if you watch the Fox News, you'd be like, damn, I feel like shit, or, I don't like how I feel about myself. You come out of the comedy show and you're laughing, you feel really light. You want to share it with your friends. That's positive. So it has nothing to do with the tv. It's like the actual thing that you're watching and your association with that thing.

Oleg C [02:34:18]:
But how much of liking coming home and watching Netflix and whatever is pushed to you also by that, knowing how to play to humans addictions like Netflix, do you really like it? Or is it just something they're manipulating your fucking evolutionary circuits to fucking keep you hooked?

Phillip [02:34:38]:
I think I would put it in the pleasure category. Unless you're saying I'm going to educate myself. Somebody, to me would educate themselves. Is maybe going to watch the History Channel, maybe read a book and have a specific focus in mind and saying, hey, I want to learn about cooking, so I'm going to watch cooking network. Or maybe I just want to shut my brain off. I used to watch, like, heady stuff, even, like, Game of Thrones. You have to pay attention to all the characters. Just to come home from my insurance job, I hated it, right? I'd come home, I watch, like, six or 7 hours of tv.

Phillip [02:35:06]:
I get, like, a philly cheesesteak, a pizza. I'd go home, I'd be like a total gremlin, right?

Oleg C [02:35:11]:
Came in my fan.

Phillip [02:35:12]:
So I'd go home and I'd do this, right? But now I realize when I watch television, I like to watch sports, and I like to watch things that I can just shut my brain off, and it's kind of in the background. This is where I came to the conclusion of, but if I start to watch those heady things that, again, I realized a lot of the, like, I'm getting immersed in the characters and the.

Phillip [02:35:28]:
Emotions, and it's affecting how I feel.

Phillip [02:35:30]:
And I'm, like, saying to myself, I was dating somebody at the time, 20 whatever, maybe 1215, and they were saying, hey, you're being a consumer of this. Unless you're taking this and utilizing it as inspiration for creativity to create your own thing, you're just allowing this product to basically shape you in a negative way, and you're not getting really anything of it. The only one that's benefiting from this is the company. Netflix. HBO. So you're paying into it.

Eldar [02:35:55]:
That's right.

Oleg C [02:35:55]:
But it's entertainment. They didn't choose. Chalk it up to entertain.

Phillip [02:35:57]:
Like, I watched Game of Thrones, but what is entertainment? So entertainment, to me right now, I would define it as putting on a sports game and then being able to shut it off, talk about it with these guys, and then it's done. Watching something that's just, like, very easy.

Phillip [02:36:10]:
Like, I can watch Louis CK.

Phillip [02:36:11]:
I'm not sitting there scratching my head, thinking about the storyline, immersing myself in the characters.

Phillip [02:36:17]:
How invested do I want to be in these things?

Phillip [02:36:19]:
Is what I asked myself.

Phillip [02:36:20]:
And I said, no, I don't. I don't want to rack my brain with this. I'd rather have more energy towards work, with connecting with my friends and the stuff that actually matters versus doing stuff.

Phillip [02:36:31]:
That was shutting me off from all these opportunities.

Eldar [02:36:34]:
Right.

Phillip [02:36:34]:
And then thinking that, oh, I'm actually benefiting from this thing. And actually, people were pointing it out to me that it wasn't benefiting from me, but I was stubborn to say, no, I'm getting inspiration from this.

Oleg C [02:36:45]:
I feel good.

Phillip [02:36:45]:
I'm understanding the characters.

Phillip [02:36:47]:
Maybe I can write. Maybe this is, like, my patent. Maybe I like this. So I'm saying, in those situations, it's really hard for me at that time, to be honest with myself, but I probably wasn't ready to hear it at the time.

Oleg C [02:36:58]:
What if you're just viewing it? Could it be different for different people? Like, when I watch these more, like you said, heady. I don't like documentaries. I like also easy watch, because sometimes it'll like. But this reality show or sports is just incredibly boring. Something like Game of Thrones. It's a way to get out of this world.

Eldar [02:37:16]:
You don't like the reality shit?

Oleg C [02:37:18]:
See a story? No, I love reality. Reality, fantasy is all the way fantasy Sci-Fi but then, like, sopranos is one of my all time favorite because it's just a masterpiece. But when I was watching it, I wasn't really relate. Like, it was just like a spectacle. Whoa, this is cool.

Eldar [02:37:34]:
Nice.

Oleg C [02:37:34]:
Let me eat. Let me watch this.

Eldar [02:37:36]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:37:36]:
So you're talking about entertainment where it's not affecting you the way that you're saying it's good. You shouldn't have a negative connotation with that.

Oleg C [02:37:44]:
I mean, sometimes maybe it'd be like, oh, he was an underdog. He came up, oh, maybe I should be more like, more.

Phillip [02:37:49]:
But is it negatively impacting.

Eldar [02:37:51]:
No.

Oleg C [02:37:51]:
Negatively? No.

Eldar [02:37:54]:
That's like rallies and shit. Your mom and dad book where people.

Oleg C [02:37:58]:
Are going crazy with ignorant views on.

Eldar [02:38:01]:
The news and arguing like, come back, LeBron James did this. Get the hell out of here. They're not going to pay your rent now.

Oleg C [02:38:09]:
He just troll the news articles and leave.

Eldar [02:38:11]:
If you get emotionally invested in a negative way, consuming content, then you're losing.

Eldar [02:38:20]:
Know.

Oleg C [02:38:21]:
Also if you're giving content too much time of the day though, right? Like, if you and Catherine came home, you guys didn't even have time to talk because you're both just in your fucking devices. That's not healthy too, right?

Eldar [02:38:30]:
Well, yeah. You want to have a balance, right?

Eldar [02:38:32]:
Yeah, you'll have a balance.

Eldar [02:38:34]:
We can talk and we can do that as well. Depends how we feel also.

Eldar [02:38:37]:
Right?

Eldar [02:38:38]:
I might be in the mood of just watching this and she might be in the talking mood. Depends.

Eldar [02:38:42]:
Every day is different, but we kind.

Eldar [02:38:44]:
Of know each other's spaces. We give each other healthy.

Oleg C [02:38:52]:
You guys want to eat that, right? Not pizza and ice cream.

Eldar [02:38:57]:
All right, so let's do final thoughts.

Oleg C [02:39:00]:
You're never leaving Phil alone again.

Mike [02:39:02]:
I feel like Phil still has more.

Phillip [02:39:04]:
Questions, but no, we have some good know.

Phillip [02:39:09]:
We came to the conclusion that having.

Phillip [02:39:11]:
Fun and figuring out what you really.

Phillip [02:39:13]:
Like, that takes time, I think.

Phillip [02:39:15]:
Yeah, I think attaching patience to this is the thing. So I don't think we came to the conclusion that it's like this big crazy thing that we have to discover. It's very simple. Can you have fun in this where you're genuinely just, like, enjoying the moment, you're not having to think about it. There doesn't need to be discipline or routine attached to it. Do I want to do this? Because I actually want to do this and I don't know. I have to be doing the things that I was doing regularly and then just start to have more of an awareness and just more of an honesty.

Eldar [02:39:49]:
Towards with yourself, correct. The ability to extend yourself if this is working for you, right? This is your recipe. If you can extend this recipe now into the world outside of this, that is the goal and that is the key. Ultimately, be self sufficient everywhere you are able to come in into group settings and enjoy yourself. Come out of them and enjoy yourself. One on ones, whatever. That's the ultimate goal. But if the recipe is there, you have to be able to take that recipe that you've discovered here and take.

Eldar [02:40:16]:
It out into the world.

Eldar [02:40:17]:
When you're doing your walks, for example, having genuine conversations, being yourself, being unapologetic with yourself, that's where you're going to be. Like, holy shit. I'm able to hone these types of moments and continue them outside of this.

Eldar [02:40:30]:
Group, outside of elderism.

Eldar [02:40:32]:
And that's the ultimate goal.

Oleg C [02:40:34]:
But, so when you guys left for a week, right, for two days, he lost his mind.

Eldar [02:40:38]:
See, two days withdrawals was crazy.

Phillip [02:40:40]:
It was two work days.

Oleg C [02:40:41]:
Okay, my bad.

LT [02:40:42]:
Work four days.

Phillip [02:40:45]:
And I'm like, they were gone for that long?

LT [02:40:48]:
You guys were gone for four days?

Phillip [02:40:49]:
Yeah, well, we're spending time on weekends and stuff too. So like Saturday, Sunday may be a.

Phillip [02:40:54]:
Wash, but like a Friday and a Monday with Saturday stuff, Saturday we're doing things.

Eldar [02:40:59]:
Yeah. I think to me this is a big part of my life too, but.

Oleg C [02:41:03]:
I'm saying your main, seemed like one of your main complaints, right. Complaints and quotes.

Eldar [02:41:08]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:41:08]:
The dissatisfaction was what is it? Not having the social interaction.

Eldar [02:41:15]:
Right.

Mike [02:41:15]:
No, he didn't have probably the tools.

Oleg C [02:41:18]:
So if they're not there, what would you do different? Like, I guess next time go out into the world and get that social.

Eldar [02:41:28]:
Maybe if you can.

Eldar [02:41:29]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:41:30]:
So if I can, I think in an ideal situation, maybe allow myself to be more open to conversations with maybe a stranger when I'm out.

Eldar [02:41:39]:
Where dad.

Eldar [02:41:40]:
Right.

Eldar [02:41:40]:
Having anybody.

Phillip [02:41:42]:
Yeah, anybody.

Phillip [02:41:42]:
But even when I'm out, like, if I'm doing my walks, I'm usually more buttoned than closed up and saying like, yeah, I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to stay in my little bubble where maybe if I sat down, I went to the coffee shop and I allowed myself to maybe talk to the person next to me, where instead I would say like, no, I'm just going to be in my own little bubble today. That could be something. But what I came to the conclusion of also was when you're trying to.

Phillip [02:42:03]:
Figure out what you like and what you don't like, I remember I was sitting down in my bed, and I was telling eldor, I just tried to.

Phillip [02:42:09]:
Just sleep in, do nothing, and stay in my bed. And I realized doing nothing is not the answer. So to me, I realized doing my exercise and doing my walking, even if.

Phillip [02:42:19]:
That'S maybe not something that I truly.

Phillip [02:42:21]:
Love, there's some elements of it that I do. I have to be honest with myself about the elements that I like, and I think in order to do that, maybe I have to slow down a little bit. Like, I would be with Mike and we'd be walking. I'd be like, yo, I don't want to stop.

Phillip [02:42:33]:
I would want to walk for five or 6 hours straight and not stop. So I'm realizing that he pointed that out, and I'm like, oh, why do I want to do that? Why don't I just want to sit on a bench and look at a duck or something? Why not? So maybe, maybe there's something there.

Eldar [02:42:48]:
Where are you running from?

Phillip [02:42:49]:
Yeah, what am I running from? So I guess the answer is to be more thoughtful as you're doing these things and be patient and realize that it's not going to happen overnight. But I don't think doing nothing is the answer.

Eldar [02:43:03]:
In the meantime, I agree. And sometimes, even if you're being honest with yourself as to say, look, I'm going to have a lot of running thoughts right now. This is what's going on. And walk usually calms that down. Tell yourself that.

Eldar [02:43:13]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:43:13]:
All right, cool. We're a little bit out of whack right now. Walk works. Let's go do it. You know what I mean? Like a genuine conversation with yourself. And I think it's always better that way because then you go on the walk, you keep talking to yourself, keep paying attention with the right intention, it'll cure you, because you're being honest with yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. I think you should continue to use it up until you discover something else that's better, that's bigger for you, that you can tap into and get energy from, and that's perfectly fine.

Oleg C [02:43:38]:
But that stranger in the coffee shop, are you going to be able to.

Mike [02:43:42]:
Elder do alderism on him?

Phillip [02:43:45]:
That's the test, right? So if I have to be people pleaserself, then I might as well. To me right now, my decision would be, I would rather keep walking, keep walking and not do anything.

Phillip [02:43:54]:
So while I was walking and people pleasing, I bet you subconsciously I didn't want to interact because I knew that that conversation was probably going to drain me versus empower me.

Oleg C [02:44:05]:
But there's also a pace, like, you can't sit next to them within five minutes.

Eldar [02:44:09]:
You're, I don't know, talking shit to.

Oleg C [02:44:11]:
Them or whatever, doing something.

Eldar [02:44:14]:
No, I think that you underestimate the dialogue and where you can go.

Eldar [02:44:18]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:44:18]:
People, they will say a lot of funny things right off the bat. They don't realize what they're saying.

Eldar [02:44:22]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:44:23]:
If you actually pay attention, you hear what people are saying. You can really pick up gold nuggets from that conversation and really pinpoint to what's being said and really take it very far. And it's going to be very interesting encounter. But you have to pay attention, which takes long.

Oleg C [02:44:38]:
You don't want to scare everybody out. The coffee shop, either somebody out and they're like, way too soldier.

LT [02:44:47]:
I think you also have to ask yourself if you're able to adapt to your surroundings.

Eldar [02:44:51]:
Yeah.

LT [02:44:51]:
Right. So them not being here for those.

Eldar [02:44:54]:
Two to four days, are you able to adapt being alone? Right.

Phillip [02:44:58]:
So I said in this. So my expectations were really high for here. So those expectations did not allow me to adapt to the situation because they were too new.

Eldar [02:45:11]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:45:12]:
I would say even though that I.

Phillip [02:45:13]:
Knew that they were going to be gone, I didn't know what it was going to feel like.

Mike [02:45:19]:
You didn't realize. And I think that it was supposed to happen that way.

Eldar [02:45:21]:
It's supposed to happen that way. He's supposed to see the contrast. That, again, I think, reassures him that, like, yo, I'm doing something right, but I'd like to do it more and I'd like to extend it into all parts of my life. That's why he's asking this question. He's like, yeah, guys, again, he's being vulnerable and open and saying, yo, I'm having a good time. I'm having a great time. But when I'm home alone, yo, I don't know what to do. That's awesome.

Eldar [02:45:44]:
That is awesome.

Phillip [02:45:45]:
This is a new problem, though.

Eldar [02:45:46]:
That's great.

Phillip [02:45:47]:
This took me out of a state where, again, I thought that I was.

Phillip [02:45:51]:
In a great place by myself.

Phillip [02:45:53]:
Now I realize that I like to.

Phillip [02:45:54]:
Be in person, and now I have to go back into this person that I thought that I was and basically.

Phillip [02:46:00]:
Redefine what I thought that or who I thought that I was.

LT [02:46:03]:
Are you able to maintain that balance? Let's say this disappears.

Eldar [02:46:09]:
You get it?

LT [02:46:10]:
Like, if it, a blink of an eye goes away, are you able to maintain that balance of being by yourself.

Phillip [02:46:15]:
Again right now, in this moment? I think it would be very challenging.

Eldar [02:46:20]:
Again, it's also new, but you can't put the worms back in the can. The can of worms open.

LT [02:46:26]:
It's open right now.

Oleg C [02:46:26]:
What if you stayed in Bermuda?

Eldar [02:46:28]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:46:29]:
And tortured Philip a little longer? Did it on purpose.

Phillip [02:46:32]:
I would have been like a castaway like Tom Hanks, and I would have, like, a big beard. I would have had, like, a fucking.

Mike [02:46:36]:
Like a Wilson chair.

Phillip [02:46:38]:
Like a Wilson chair.

Oleg C [02:46:39]:
You would have arrived there. Hey, guys. Oh, you're here, too.

Eldar [02:46:43]:
But it's interesting how that works out, right? There's so much learning and so much teacher, and because he's so. Being so vulnerable, this is great content to talk about. I think personal examples actually drive this kind of thing and allows for growth and change and for people to relate to.

Eldar [02:46:58]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:46:58]:
I think when people talk in generalities, I always am asking myself whether it's a news outlet, a guru, whoever. And I'm saying to myself, they're reading statistics based off of a study from this. And where's the study coming from? And I'm saying I'd rather hear somebody's personal example of what they're going through, because then it cuts through all the bullshit I'm actually hearing if this person's genuine, what they actually went through, and I know for sure that I don't have to weigh out the percentages and who they asked and what type of placebo and the real thing I like to hear somebody's the biggest one is.

Mike [02:47:30]:
Relatability, because you, in a way, put yourself in their shoes, and you're like, hey, I've been there before. I know what that feels like. This is really relevant to me. I can relate here. And then it opens up to you. Be like, hey, you're also a person that struggles with the same stuff that I'm struggling with. We're humans. We connect on that, that we both have faced that.

Mike [02:47:48]:
And we can be. That opens vulnerability in a huge level.

Eldar [02:47:51]:
Right?

Mike [02:47:52]:
Because you're like, oh, you do this, too? Oh, I also do this.

Eldar [02:47:55]:
Right?

Phillip [02:47:56]:
So wouldn't you want to hear one individual person, their personal versus having statistics of 10,000 people from a study?

Phillip [02:48:03]:
And most people that I did learn from were always talking to somebody else about somebody else, about something else. To me, those never resonated with me. So I think sharing examples, everybody here is sharing really personal examples, or, like, we're referencing somebody that we had an example with, like a friend or coworker or whatever. Yeah, I just think those are like Mike was saying, yeah, they're helpful, but they are relatable. And if you're somebody who's driven by connection, like, for me, I feel like I'm more normal. And then you can let your guard down a little bit, not have to be the people pleaser and say, like, oh, I don't have to have an ego in this situation. This person is not trying to hurt me. They're actually being open with me, which is allowing me to be more open.

Phillip [02:48:49]:
And that's the situation that's happening now. Everybody here is coming from a good place. They're being open and vulnerable. They're showing me what it's like. And then I'm saying to myself, oh, I like this.

Phillip [02:49:01]:
I want to try this.

Phillip [02:49:02]:
But on my own, I wasn't allowing.

Phillip [02:49:04]:
Myself to do this because I created.

Phillip [02:49:07]:
A certain bubble for myself. So again, it comes, you don't have.

Eldar [02:49:09]:
To be alone anymore. You're not alone anymore.

Phillip [02:49:11]:
I don't have to be alone anymore. But again, what I am, so that the question is, can I adapt to these situations? I think ultimately that you can, but.

Phillip [02:49:20]:
I have to be really honest with myself and do, like Eldar saying, is.

Phillip [02:49:24]:
Have the conversations with myself when I'm going for my walk and saying, hey, if we are a little off kilter, okay, we're going to go for this walk and we're just going to get back in a good state.

Phillip [02:49:33]:
I'm not going to think about this walk. Maybe essentially that particular walk as, like.

Phillip [02:49:38]:
Do I love it or not? It's just like, I'm realizing that this is the remedy for now.

Phillip [02:49:41]:
Maybe it's like a band aid, but.

Phillip [02:49:43]:
I still do need these things because I learned that doing nothing is not the answer. I have to do something.

Eldar [02:49:48]:
I can't fall asleep without my tablet. Every day I put on the tablet and it nurses me to sleep.

Eldar [02:49:53]:
Yeah, smoking guru, bro.

Eldar [02:49:56]:
Sorry, bro. Just the way you fall asleep with a tablet. What a lady Gaga said. I was born this way.

Phillip [02:50:04]:
But again, somebody is going to hear the way that you speak and say, oh, I resonate with truth. And then say, like, oh, shit. Like, Eldar falls asleep with a tablet. That makes me feel really good. Maybe they felt like all the stuff that you were saying was so unattainable, and all of a sudden you're saying something that falls asleep with a tablet. It's like, oh, man. He's like, normal.

Phillip [02:50:21]:
Like, me, too.

Phillip [02:50:22]:
Then maybe you would inspire them.

Eldar [02:50:24]:
Okay.

Phillip [02:50:24]:
And turn to say, say, maybe I will adopt some of these things that I didn't.

Eldar [02:50:27]:
Nothing wrong with fucking putting on tv and falling asleep to it. That's your crush every day.

Eldar [02:50:31]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:50:31]:
I use tv, but I don't think of it as a bad thing where I love it.

Eldar [02:50:35]:
It's bad for your eyes. I'm like, yo, it's good for my sleep. I'm going to sleep.

Mike [02:50:38]:
I don't care.

Eldar [02:50:39]:
Let me get my sleep. That's more important.

Eldar [02:50:41]:
Yeah, bad.

Oleg C [02:50:43]:
Bad.

Eldar [02:50:44]:
All right, final thoughts, Oleg, final thoughts. You said some stuff, but I think you said absolutely nothing at the end of it.

Oleg C [02:50:52]:
All right, so we know your final thoughts.

Eldar [02:50:53]:
Yeah, for sure. Fine.

Eldar [02:50:56]:
Go ahead.

Eldar [02:50:56]:
Hit us with it.

Oleg C [02:50:57]:
I don't even know a final. That sounds so final, though.

Eldar [02:51:00]:
Final.

Eldar [02:51:00]:
Okay.

Oleg C [02:51:02]:
Well, Philip, it sounds like you're on the court with becoming a.

Eldar [02:51:06]:
Thank you for sharing.

Katherine [02:51:07]:
Thank you for sharing.

Oleg C [02:51:08]:
You're so brave.

LT [02:51:10]:
Thank you so much.

Oleg C [02:51:13]:
Yeah, good. Shit, I don't know.

Eldar [02:51:16]:
All right, cool.

Eldar [02:51:17]:
That's good.

Oleg C [02:51:18]:
Maybe I'll have some.

Eldar [02:51:19]:
Sometimes less is more and more is less.

Phillip [02:51:24]:
Mike, say something cool.

Eldar [02:51:25]:
Yeah, say some Mike.

Mike [02:51:27]:
Shit, I don't even have anything cool.

Oleg C [02:51:28]:
To, yo, why is there no final thoughts?

Mike [02:51:31]:
Because there was a lot. We covered a lot. It was a lot of good stuff.

Katherine [02:51:34]:
The final thoughts, we had already been going through them, and that became like another.

Eldar [02:51:40]:
Okay. Yeah.

Eldar [02:51:41]:
I mean, then I'll say, Philip, good job again, on bringing up this great topic, being vulnerable. I'm very interested to find out how did you still come about to be able to trust and see it for what it is?

Eldar [02:51:55]:
Right.

Eldar [02:51:55]:
The openness that, lt pointed out and said, hey, you're open. He's not. Why? And how is that openness? Yeah, last time I tried to bully you into it and you said, age and maturity. I'd like to speed that up.

Eldar [02:52:06]:
For some people, I don't want it.

Eldar [02:52:08]:
To be age of maturity where you beat up dog, where life beats you up and you finally coming on your knees and saying, please help. You know what I mean? Is that the only thing you have, this, like, hey, I'm open. I see that these guys have good intentions, and I want it. I want to feel the same way. How did you come about to that? Because some people see it, but some people don't.

Phillip [02:52:26]:
What do you driven to me, I.

Oleg C [02:52:27]:
Think you have to drive the approach, by the way, the trust, the. No, but it's his approach from the other side.

Phillip [02:52:34]:
But you're asking yourself, what are you driven by?

Phillip [02:52:36]:
Are you driven by pain? Are you driven by pleasure? Essentially.

Phillip [02:52:41]:
To me, in my life, I've seen that it takes really bad, catastrophic stuff in order for me to change.

Eldar [02:52:49]:
Right?

Phillip [02:52:50]:
Like getting sick, maybe having a terrible relationship, being inspired by somebody that maybe wasn't rooted in values, whatever it may be. So my best teachers so far have been showing me what I don't want.

Oleg C [02:53:03]:
Suffering.

Phillip [02:53:04]:
Suffering. So I'm hoping the second half of my life can be different where if I'm rooted in truth, I can be more inspired by the things that are going to drive me positively. But I think it's really hard for.

Phillip [02:53:16]:
People to change again if you are not your true self and you're people pleasing.

Phillip [02:53:20]:
Most people who are young don't really know their true selves. So to me, I don't know how else but to experience pain to get out of this cycle. So age, I do say age, immaturity still, because pain is the driver based off of you not being your true.

Mike [02:53:36]:
Self, you suffered a lot of pain and therefore you don't want to probably continue it anymore.

Eldar [02:53:42]:
Right.

Eldar [02:53:43]:
Okay, good.

Phillip [02:53:43]:
So I think it's hard to, I don't know what another example would be. I think you'd have to live a very buttoned up kind of perfect life to say, I'm just going to allow this to inspire me. And then from five or six, my innocence was never taken. I've been always pure. And then I can just take all.

Mike [02:54:01]:
Positive, essentially, things to reference our earlier friend, childhood trauma.

Phillip [02:54:05]:
Childhood trauma.

Eldar [02:54:07]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:54:07]:
So, yeah, I don't have the answer to that, but if I still had.

Eldar [02:54:12]:
It, it's a culmination of a lot of things.

Phillip [02:54:14]:
Yeah, I would say it's a culmination of a lot of things. But I still say age of maturity is just the idea.

Eldar [02:54:20]:
Maybe we'll tackle your trust thing some other day if you want.

Oleg C [02:54:24]:
Sounds good. Oh, I know. Final thoughts. For me, it was very actually interesting to see a new student of elderism.

Eldar [02:54:31]:
How quickly I turned them.

Oleg C [02:54:32]:
Right.

Eldar [02:54:32]:
I'll see you next.

LT [02:54:34]:
Okay, can't wait.

Oleg C [02:54:36]:
It was interesting to see after like ten years, see someone that's an elderist that's not named Mike Tolley or Eldar.

Eldar [02:54:43]:
And also, listen, I'm a long term.

Phillip [02:54:45]:
Investor, bro, and I'm not Russian or Jewish.

Eldar [02:54:49]:
You took this guy.

Phillip [02:54:54]:
I'm an independent source.

Phillip [02:54:55]:
I was born in Canada.

Phillip [02:54:56]:
I'm italian.

Oleg C [02:54:57]:
So I'm like, all right, we're paying them. They're pandering to the pc crowd, diversifying. Colombian lt, like you said, a person who usually doesn't hang out in your circle, whatever.

Eldar [02:55:12]:
Lt found some bravery in him.

Eldar [02:55:15]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:55:15]:
To come out, finally commenting, being open minded.

Eldar [02:55:18]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:55:19]:
Me, I've been around these guys enough and I feel like, you're way more.

Phillip [02:55:23]:
Open minded to it.

Eldar [02:55:24]:
Yeah. I don't know. Something about the fact that when you have open conversations with people, I find that it's in them. It's a natural process that people just fuck with you and it's natural. You know what I mean? And. Lt is definitely one of those people where it's like it comes natural to him, too, where he can open.

LT [02:55:42]:
Like I, like I joined the gym, right. And there's a bunch of other guys there that we play ball with.

Phillip [02:55:48]:
A lot.

LT [02:55:49]:
Yeah, lot.

Eldar [02:55:50]:
That's ten teams.

LT [02:55:51]:
Everyone talks, everyone bullshits, right? But something pulled me to these guys. It was real natural. It was natural.

Eldar [02:55:58]:
Yeah.

LT [02:56:00]:
It could have been any one of the guys, right?

Phillip [02:56:02]:
We got to get sponsored by somebody at this point.

Eldar [02:56:04]:
Oh, we will.

Oleg C [02:56:06]:
No, it's interesting how so much self development stuff. I know you hate it when anything gets compared to elderism, but a lot of, even this, I did like this landmark forum thing. I don't know how I feel, whatever a lot of people are doing, but they have this thing. Even the way they formulate it is like you look at your true character versus what you've been trying to be and then you share certain stories you've told yourself and whatever, and it doesn't work if you recognize it yourself. You have to just share it with new people. And then you enroll this person in the possibility of what you've created for yourself. So you're vulnerable. And then you say, now that I've realized that I can see myself, let's say, I don't know, being like a more whatever person or whatever it is, and that would allow me, maybe then I could just eat ice cream or fucking whatever.

Oleg C [02:56:58]:
Be able to have fun when all the guys are out of the office.

Eldar [02:57:01]:
Listen, if what we're saying here is some of it as truth or whatever, if we do have some truth and somebody else is saying it somewhere else and it's true, it's going to be the same. It's just going to be different words that God is there, but if it's the truth, it's the truth. So if it resonates you from there, great. I'm happy for you. If it's working for you, great. If it's at your tribe, awesome.

Eldar [02:57:20]:
Do more of it right now.

Oleg C [02:57:24]:
I've seen this is like nobody does two other sources but this that have similar concepts.

Eldar [02:57:30]:
That's cool.

Eldar [02:57:31]:
Gig is up. Gig is saying, so if they need coaching, we do do coaching. Right, Mike?

Mike [02:57:38]:
We do coaching. But they're going to have to pay us.

Eldar [02:57:42]:
Oh, they're going to have to pay.

Mike [02:57:43]:
A lot of money.

Eldar [02:57:45]:
We're volunteering every day, all day long. Somebody got to pay us, right? All right, guys, thank you so much again. Great stuff.

Eldar [02:57:52]:
Yeah.

LT [02:57:52]:
Appreciate you.

Eldar [02:57:53]:
Thank you for coming, guys. Thank you.

LT [02:57:54]:
Thank you for having me.

Eldar [02:57:55]:
Yeah, thank you for coming. Oleg. Always a pleasure. When.